AN: Soooo.

I can make excuses for why I haven't been uploading for a while. I can claim schoolwork. I can claim inspiration break. I can call all sorts of things.

The point is, I was just lazy. I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and write an whole chapter.

I found out I'm happy with one shots.

You get ideas, you work them out and it fits and works.

Now my great great mind had the idea to make a multi chapter. Not my greatest moment.

And today was the day I said. Enough, I will finish at least 1 chapter today. So I did. It's currently 1.30 am. So don't blame me for spelling mistakes. I really tried my best.

Enjoy it.

I won't promise, but I hope I can upload another chapter at the end of the week. Depends on my workload.

AN2: I Almost forgot.

I don't own any of the characters, JK does. I'm just happy that we, as fandom, are able to create our own stories with her characters


It was two am. Minerva McGonagall was walking down the hallway in her nightgown. Her hair was a mess. To say she was in a bad mood would be an understatement. After ending her shift, which included escorting Mr Malfoy and Ms Parkinson back to their dormitories, she went to bed but before she could even step in her bed one of the portraits mentioned hearing a voice and seeing a shadow around the Gryffindor tower. As written in the protocols she had to check it out. "If it's those three again I will put them in a detention they will never forget." She muttered to herself. It's always the same with those three. The twins were bad enough to handle, but since a certain Harry James Potter had joined the group the amount of complaints from the teachers had risen exponentially. A few more detententions and they would break the record of that blasted group 'the Marauders'. The latter brought a smile on her face. Even though they were a pain in the ass, from time to time they were one of the brightest students she ever met. Especially if they put their brains together.

She rounded the corner and came to an abrupt halt. She was being hit with a big deja vu. Running around were the Weasley twins, lifting up things like they were searching for something. It wasn't the first time they lost something but this was the first time she found them searching in the middle of the night.
Minerva coughed to get their attention but the twins didn't hear her, or ignored her, you never knew with those two. "Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley. What is the meaning of this!?"
The twins froze in place, they looked at eachother, nodded and rose as one.
"This professor…" Fred began, "is not what it looks like."

Minerva raised an eyebrow. "It looks to me like you are out of bed at night."

"Well that would be true profesor."

"We can't deny that part." Minerva raised an eyebrow again.

"And you two have probably a perfectly good reason to be out of bed this late."

"Actually professor…"

"We do…"

"Only we don't know if you would believe us."

"Try me." She couldn't deal with this now, not at two am. She would listen to their elaborate stories, put them in detention. Escort them back to the common room and finally get some well deserved sleep. She needed the energy to deal another day with a certain Dolores Umbridge. There wasn't a day she cursed Albus for letting her teach here.

"You see professor," Fred, she thought, began.

"Lee has lost something…"

"And we are helping him to find it…"

"And what, pray tell, is the object mister Jordan has lost?"

"William ."

"I'm sorry, who?"

"William ." Minerva sighed, why always at two am in the morning?

"Yes we have established that already, but who is William?"

"It's an…" but before George could finish Minerva heard two pair of footprints running towards her. She turned and saw Harry and Ginny running towards her, of course they would be in it she thought.

"Mister Potter, Miss Weasley! You better have a good reason to be up and about at this hour!"

"Professor…" Harry began but Minerva held up her hand. She knew where this was going. 'We are innocent professor', 'I swear we did nothing', she had heard them all already.

"Straight to explaining Potter!" Harry glared at a snickering Ginny before turning back to Minerva with an innocent look, not that it worked but he could always try. "You see professor. We, as in Gred, Forge, Ginny and me were talking in the common room about our homework." The twins snorted and Minerva raised an eyebrow. "Oke, maybe not homework but at least it was school related." He smiled at her with a smile that was just radiating mischief. "As I said, we were talking when Lee came running down screaming about William or something. We, as concerned students, came forwards to help him and ended up volunteering to search the castle."

"I can assume that this William is a pet of Lee?" Minerva was looking at Harry but it was Ginny who actually answered.

"It's a tarantula professor." The whole common room was screaming, accio's were flying around but no spider has been found yet. We searched the school but we can't find him yet."

"So you're telling me, that when I go to the commonroom, I won't find a silent room. But one with chaos?" 4 Pair of heads nodded.
"Let's find out then shall we. I warn you, if you four are lying to me right now. You will be in detention for the next 3 months."
"What!?"

"That's completely unfair!"

"You can't do that to us." Minerva held her hand up and the protests stopped. "Then you better not be lying Mr. Weasley, it's as simple as that." The four sighed and followed a marching McGonagall towards the commonroom. Hopefully Lee had succeeded in his task.


In the commonroom, meanwhile. Was pure chaos, people were standing on tables. Some people were randomly smashing cushions on dark places, probably to kill the spider. Others were crying or grouping in a circle to prevent being 'attacked'. There was only one person who was sitting on the couch being dejected. People were figuring he was sad about his spider but if they would have looked closer they would spot another detail. He was sitting there, staring at the 4.21 that was displayed on the screen of his stopwatch. Why!? Why couldn't the seventh years panic faster!? It was a god damn venomous spider. What's not scary about that!?

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?" All heads looked up towards a fuming McGonagall. For a split second everyone forgot there was a venomous spider running around, but soon enough Minerva was confronted with several students talking to her, explaining all the chaos.

"SILENCE! Alright, Miss Granger, explain please."

Hermione slowly stood up, she glanced at the pranksters behind Minerva and back to the fuming professor in question. Normally she wouldn't go along with those incredible stupid back-up plans of them but this was for a good cause. That… That toad tortured her friend. There is no way she would let Umbridge get away with it. "We woke up around a quarter to two. Someone was screaming so a lot of people ran out of their rooms to see what was going on. That's when Lee came running down the stairs from his dormitory screaming about a William or something. Everybody thought it was a joke the twins did on him, sorry guys." She looked towards the said twins and they smiled back, impressed with her performance so far.

"None taken…"
"We would be sad…"
"If you didn't imply us immediately…"

"For this would have been a great prank…"

"Indeed forge, wish we would have thought about it."

"Can we go back to the story now please." The twins bowed their heads and kept silent. Harry noticed they were hiding big grins on their faces.

"Thank you professor. As I was saying, Lee came running down and we thought the twins were behind it so we just laughed. Until he told us it wasn't a prank. That his spider was gone. That's when chaos broke out."

"I can hardly see why one tiny little spider can cause such an uproar in the middle of the night."

"His tarantula is an Brazillian tarantula."

"I see…" Minerva turned towards Lee Jordan. "Mr Jordan, can you tell me why you thought it would be a great idea to bring a highly venomous spider to the school?"

Lee shrugged. "I thought it would be a cool idea. The venom is highly lucrative and I was planning on selling the venom I had collected over the year."

"Tomorrow Mr. Jordan, you will report before breakfast in my office. We will talk further about this. In the meantime you will fix your problem on your own." She held her hand up for the protests coming from the students behind her. "It is a mess you made, you will fix it. Everyone else, go to your dormitories. I will personally go to each dorm to ensure there is no spider there." People were hesitating to go back to their dorms but one look from McGonagall was enough to put them in motion. "You five," She pointed at the usual suspects, four with innocent looks, and 1 dejected student. "you will stay here downstairs and wait until I get back." She marched towards the stairs of the girls dormitory. Assuming there would be the most panic.

"What's up Lee, you look depressed? Cheer up mate, the back-up plan worked great!"

"Four point twenty one minutes." Lee sighed.

"Come again?"

"You guys all know the record for chaos in the common room?"
"Of course..."
"First thing we looked up when we arrived here at school..."
"Why is that not surprising to me?"

"Because you are a smart cookie Gin-Gin."

"Well the previous record is four minutes and twenty seconds…" Lee sighed.

"Oh…"

"Bugger…"

"We really thought we had it there…"

"That we did Forge..."
"Oke, back to the plan." Harry scolded, he would finish this prank, detention or not. "What is our new angle?"

"I think we can flip the dormitory card Gred…"

"Minnie wouldn't suspect us for offering…"

"Especially when the object in question is dangerous…"

"Good angle boys, we can work with that." Harry turned towards Lee, "You will ask Minnie for support, play the dangerous card. Talk about the spider being venomous and being smart to bring someone along."

"She will not go for that." Four pair of heads turn towards Ginny. "She will not be so stupid as to send Fred, George and Lee alone, in the middel of the night around the castle."

"Bugger, you are right. Alright, abandon all plans. Go for plan I."

"Plan I?"

"Improvise as you have never improvised."

"That's hardly what I call a backup plan" Ginny challenged Harry. She knew the best plans were being forced in the moment so she had to rile him up. To get that brain working on a plan.

"It worked before." Harry countered. He wasn't backing down.

"Tell me one good scenario where it worked." Think brain, just use that beautiful brain of yours!

Harry grinned. "Yesterday. I was late at class and came up with a wonderful story about you being injured and me being a noble man and bringing you to the infirmary." Ginny snorted.

"Let me guess, you had Binns."

"Trelawney actually."

"That does not count!"

"It counts when you get away with it." Fred offered.

"Shut up Fred, I'm winning!"

"Oh Miss Weasley, you and I both know that I'm just warming up."

"Well hurry up then because it looks to me that all you do is stalling."

"Your on."

"Bring it!"

"Wednesday, prank with lamps."

"Fake, could be anyone, taking claim is not improvising."

"Last Thursday, I got away with hexing Snape by claiming I saw a dementor."

"Yeah right, I know you got detentions for that, don't bullcrap me."

"Oh you drive a hard bargain Miss Weasley."

"Like you don't get turned on from this."

"You wanna see." Harry wiggled his eyebrows.

"You pull off this prank and we will see."

"For real?"

"No"

"Damn, can't believe I fell for that"

"Hello, actual pranking ideas please." Lee interjected. Those two were just warming up by the looks of it and this was not the time. This prank had to be done tonight. Those ingredients couldn't be kept till tomorrow. The usage would simmer down till it was just gone.

"Right, pranking."

"Yes O Chosen One…"

"You know, the thing where you pull off great things…"

"To make people laugh…"

"Or discredit people..."

"It's something great…"

"You should try it sometime."

"Shut up, I get it. No flirting till after the job."

"What, you're not man enough to do it at the same time?" Ginny countered.

Harry growled and opened his mouth to answer but the twins were faster.

"So improvising…"

"Who acts?"

"And who reacts?"

"Harry." Ginny simply said. As hard as it was for her to admit. He was the best at lying and improvising. It also helped that McGonagall had a soft spot for the boy. "As painful as it is for me to admit. Harry has the best change to actually pull this off." She ignored a grinning Harry and looked at the thoughtful twins. "What do you think?"

"I think you are right…"

"Harry is the man for the job…"

They both turned towards him.

"If you screw this up…"

"We will hex you until you are unconscious…"

"Then we will wake you…"

"Hex you again…"

"And then deliver you to Gin-Gin over here."

Harry nodded. "I understand," He turned towards Ginny. "What will you be wearing when you punish me?" He wiggled his eyebrows. The twins were groaning in the background but Ginny simply raised an eyebrow.

"Depends how much punishment you require."

"Noted. Now then," He saw Minerva walking down the stairs towards them, "let the games begin."


I have to be honest, half way I completely abandoned plan and followed my gut on this. Let me know what you think. If you all hate it, or think its completely unrealistic. Let me know and I will consider rewriting some pieces.