Author's Notes: Most of this chapter is something I've been planning for months. One part of the chapter came to me in a dream. If I've done my job correctly, you won't know which is which :)


Chapter 8

Eight Castles

Bowser had been working on the infinite war pipe 2.0 for several hours with the Toads and Prof. Gadd. Everyone was tired and sweaty from the work, and it was clear the Toads still felt a bit of fear toward King Koopa, but everyone managed to do their jobs nonetheless.

"We'll need a power source," Prof. Gadd remarked as they attached the battery compartment, "Bowser, what did you use last time?"

"Eternium crystals," Bowser replied, "Where can we find that?"

"Hm…Most unusual…" Prof. Gadd pondered, "…Eternium crystals are a banned substance in the Koopa Kingdom. They are mined deep beneath the Donut Plains, which is in the Mushroom Kingdom. We may have some difficulty finding some."

"I'll go wherever I need to to find them," Bowser declared, "I need this warp pipe!"

The Toads looked at each other, still suspicious of Bowser's insistent attitude. They were still sure he was building a weapon of some sort, but since he could easily kill and eat them it made no sense to call him out on it.

Before Bowser and Gadd could discuss the situation further, there was a knock on the laboratory door.

"What do you want?" Bowser snapped, tired and impatient from the long day.

"Um, sire…" a servant's voice shook nervously, "…Your presence has been requested by…two Toads."

"Ugh…" Bowser growled and shook his head, "Is it important?"

"I doubt it, sire," The servant replied, "They are merely Toads. What could their concerns mean to our glorious kingdom?"

Bowser thought about that, and realized that something was off. He was used to Toad visitors in his own world, but this world was a war zone. Toads didn't just 'visit' King Koopa. No, this was likely an envoy to rescue Princess Peach. Well, it would be nice to remove that burden from his conscience, so Bowser said…

"I'll be right there."

Bowser then left Gadd and the Toads to work on the warp pipe and followed the Koopa Troopa to where the new Toads were waiting for him. He took a few deep breaths, determined that he wanted to look composed and approachable. He knew these people considered him fearsome, and he didn't want them to feel too afraid to negotiate with him. After all, he only had to deal with them for just a little longer.

When Bowser arrived he saw a Toadette looking Toad with light purple and white mushrooms on her head and a lavender dress, and a yellow Toad wearing a tattered lime green vest. Behind them was a wagon filled to the brim with gold coins and treasure, the brilliance of which contrasted greatly with their own soot covered bodies and ravaged clothing.

"Announcing the great and mighty King Bowser Koopa!" A red Koopa Troopa intoned as Bowser approached his throne.

This announcement certainly had an effect, as both Toads prostrated themselves on the ground before they even saw Bowser. Bowser groaned softly to himself, slightly embarrassed at being seen as such a monster.

Bowser slipped his tail into the hole of his throne and sat down, but the Toads made no effort to get up. Well…this was going great so far.

"Uh…you wanted to see me?" Bowser asked awkwardly, not sure what to say to the backsides of two Toads.

Slowly, gingerly, the Toads lifted their heads to look at King Koopa. Bowser looked slightly to the ground so as to not unnerve them with a direct gaze. He felt like he was trying to coax a shy animal out of a cave, which frankly he was never good at doing. He just hoped this would be over quickly so he could find eternium crystals for his blasted warp pipe. He also hoped the invention actually worked. All he could think about was seeing Bowser Jr. and his friends again.

"Oh, great King Koopa," The lavender Toadette addressed him, "We are villagers from the land of Fungloom. Your troops are mere days away from our land, ready to raze our village to the ground."

"Please, sir!" The yellow Toad shouted even as she was still talking, "Our village elders have sent us here with our town's most valuable treasures and artifacts, as well as 5,000 gold coins. It would take only a word from you to call off the Troopas and spare our village. We are a peaceful people and do not wish to fight you."

"Our village has also sent us as tribute to serve you," The lavender Toadette added, "Please, King Koopa. Are these gifts enough to placate your wrath? Is there anything more we can do to convince you to spare our home?"

Bowser listened in silence, not wanting to interrupt the Toads even as they interrupted each other. He couldn't believe he almost ignored them. His inaction could have doomed an innocent village to be ransacked by a horde of his own Troopas.

"You!" Bowser pointed to the red Koopa announcer, "Bring me a Paratroopa and something to write with."

"Yes, sire!" The announcer replied before frantically running off to accomplish his task.

Bowser then looked down at the Toads, who were once again prostrate before his throne. He got up and walked down to them, and he could see them trembling at his approach.

"As for you two," Bowser tried to speak softer so as to not frighten them further, "You are both very brave to come here. I'm going to send the Paratroopa as a messenger. I'm ordering my troops back here. Your village won't be harmed."

"Really?" The yellow Toad asked as he looked up at the king, "Oh, thank you King Koopa! Thank you!"

"You won't regret this!" The lavender Toadette assured him, "We will loyally serve your court in whatever way you wish."

"No you won't," Bowser corrected them, "I want you two to go back to your village."

"I…I don't understand, sir," The yellow Toad replied timidly.

"I'm freeing you," Bowser clarified, "You did a brave thing by coming here to advocate for your village, and you deserve to go home safely. I will keep the treasure however. Paying the Troopas with it will ensure their cooperation."

"Of course, sire," The lavender Toadette nodded eagerly, "You know, you're not at all what we imagined you to be."

"What she means is-," The yellow Toad interrupted, "you're a far better king than even the stories about you speak of."

Bowser knew exactly what they meant, but out of politeness chose not to correct them. He was aware of how evil they expected him to be, and it still kind of hurt. He couldn't believe there was a universe where he was such a horrible person, and part of him even felt bad about the prospect of bringing back that evil Koopa to rule over them again, if there was indeed another version of himself. He couldn't just stay and fix things though. His son still needed him, and he had a life back in his own universe.

As the Toads prepared to leave, Bowser finally remembered something he had hoped to ask them.

"Excuse me?" Bowser called out after them.

"Um, yes, King Koopa?" The lavender Toadette nervously replied.

"Do you know where I can find eternium crystals?" Bowser inquired.

"Eternium crystals?" The yellow Toad repeated, "I've never seen any in person. Nope, not sure where to get those. Only one I know of is the broach Princess Peach wore in her stained glass portrait."

"So, are we dismissed now, sire?" The lavender Toadette asked hopefully.

"Oh. Sure, of course. Safe travels," Bowser distractedly said.

At first Bowser thought asking them was a dead end, but then he realized something. Princess Peach was in his dungeon, and she never took off that broach. He could use her broach as a power source for the infinite warp pipe! Of course, convincing her to help him given their 'history' was going to be a tall order…


Mario didn't know how he got into these messes. Following Luigi's and Yoshi's directions had led them to a castle. It wasn't a very impressive castle, more of a guard tower really, but Luigi insisted that the evil Koopa inside was holding Princess Peach hostage. That seemed unlikely, but then again everything about his current situation was unnervingly absurd.

Yoshi was too afraid to go inside the castle, so the Mario Bros didn't force the issue. Luigi fearlessly went inside, which Mario found especially odd. His brother was a kind and wonderful man, but he was unfortunately a coward. Sure, he could handle sporting events, but any real danger was something he just couldn't get behind. It always made Mario wonder why Luigi was friends with someone like Elvin Gadd, when that man lived for facing spooky danger. All this thinking was hurting Mario's head, so he decided to stop that and just follow his brother through the guard tow- uh, castle.

When they got past the first hallway they were greeted by a pit of lava with a large chain link fence suspended over it. Koopa Troopas climbed up and down the fence in a sort of sentry that frankly looked ridiculous.

"Is this a tennis court or a golf course?" Mario asked, "The net suggests 'a tennis, but Bowser once made a golf course that looked somewhat like this."

"I think you might 'a still have a concussion," Luigi commented, "This is a lava trap, designed to keep us away. We have 'a to climb on the fence, and punch out the Koopas."

"I don't want to punch Koopas," Mario replied, scandalized, "And that lava is hot!"

"Oi…" Luigi sighed as he facepalmed.

With nothing else to do, Luigi jumped up and grabbed the fence. He climbed to the other side like a pro, and Mario decided if his brother could do it then so could he. No way was he going to get shown up by Luigi.

As Luigi climbed, he looked back to see how Mario was faring. Mario jumped, barely managed to grab the bottom, and climbed further up to get a firm hold. As he climbed he could see a red Koopa on the other side of the fence looking back at him in shock.

"Mario! How did you make it all the way here?" The Koopa asked, "You're supposed to be dead!"

"Yeah, and I'm also supposed to punch you," Mario told him, "I'd rather not do either of those things though."

"You won't make it through all 8 castles without dying!" The Koopa taunted.

"If you say so," Mario replied disinterestedly. "Luigi, wait for me!"

Mario then climbed away, and the Koopa just looked at him in bewilderment. How were they supposed to beat the Mario Brothers when even death seemed like such a cavalier thing for them?

Luigi noticed Mario's friendly nature toward the Troopas, and worried he would be too placid to actually defeat the Koopalings and Bowser. He knew his brother didn't believe he was really his brother, but the longer he observed Mario the more concerned he became. Luigi knew the damage was extreme, he had suffered it himself, but Mario was starting to go a little mad…at least that was what Luigi assumed.

After the lava pit there were many more traps for the brothers to get past. They ran through Thwomps, ran through giant spiked poles that came down to try to skewer them, and ran past Koopa Troopas. Actually, when Mario thought about it, most of these obstacles just involved running. If he wanted to run this much he could have joined a track team.

Finally, after going through so many hurdles, the brothers made it to the upper level of the castle, and the master who ruled this domain.

He was a large Koopa, almost as large as Bowser, with brown and white scales and a brown spiked shell. The brown star design surrounding his left eye should have been beautiful, but on his hardened face it almost looked like a scar.

"It's Morton Koopa Jr.!" Luigi exclaimed, finally displaying some of the fear Mario knew him for.

"Morton Koopa Jr.…" Mario repeated in distaste.

Mario knew all about Morton Koopa IV, Bowser's father, and a rather tyrannical king. The old despot had softened with age, but the Mushroom Kingdom came so close to war with the Koopas under his reign. Some had said his advisor Kamek was the real warmonger, but everyone knew Morton Koopa had a temper. Who would name their child after such an unpleasant monarch?

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the pathetic plumbers," Morton Jr. taunted.

"Hey! We haven't been 'a plumbers in years!" Mario snapped as he shook his fist, "I even got a medical degree!"

"You what?" Luigi asked, confused, "Bro, you've gotta get some help. Your last fight really knocked your noggin."

"Yeah, well this fight's gonna knock your block off!" Morton shouted before jumping up and scaling the stone wall.

"Why did you feed him a straight line?" Mario asked Luigi.

Luigi just shrugged, but the moment was interrupted when they saw Morton's shadow fall over them. The brothers realized he was on the ceiling, and ran away before he could fall on them.

When Morton Jr. landed, he ran after Mario and Luigi, and the duo split up so he couldn't ram them both into a wall.

"He's…surprisingly fast…for someone…so big…" Mario huffed as he ran.

"I heard that, you mushroom munching moron!" Morton Jr. roared.

Morton Jr. then ran faster, since apparently that was possible, and he tackled Luigi to the ground. Luigi shrunk, and Mario had no idea why that was what happened instead of an injury.

"Mario…use the mushroom…" Luigi groaned.

Mario dug around in his pocket and found a red and white mushroom. Would this really be useful? They didn't bring their go karts in, so fuel seemed a little unnecessary. Luigi ate this once, but it still felt like a mistake.

Shrugging his shoulders, Mario threw the mushroom to Luigi, who gulped it down immediately. Mario cringed, thinking his brother had just swallowed poison, but Luigi instead grew back to his normal height.

"Well…you don't 'a see that everyday," Mario commented blankly for lack of a better reaction.

Luigi then leapt in the air and jumped on Morton Jr.'s head, causing the Koopa to fall over. Morton Jr. got up, and growled furiously as he went to ram into Luigi again. Mario, seeing his brother was in trouble, jumped up and likewise bopped Morton Jr. on the head. The force of Mario's weight caused Morton Jr. to topple over and abruptly pass out.

Mario breathed a sigh of relief. He was worried that his brother would get hurt. Luigi dusted himself off and smiled at Mario, seeing that his brother could at least still fight…even if his mind was a little wonky.

"I think the princess should be behind this door," Luigi pointed to the other side of the room.

"I hope so," Mario replied, "Maybe Peach can explain what's going on."

"I hope so too, because there are 8 Koopaling castles total, and I don't feel like fighting through each and every one," Luigi sighed.

As Luigi walked ahead and Mario followed, he suddenly noticed something odd as he stared at the ground. When Morton Jr. attacked he cast a visible shadow, but Luigi didn't have a shadow under him. It wouldn't have seemed like a big deal, except Mario looked down and realized he did, in fact, have a shadow. If everyone else had a shadow, then why didn't Luigi?

Mario had been suspicious of this place ever since he woke up here. The Koopas were hostile, Yoshi and Luigi spoke of Bowser as evil, and there were new Koopa lords over what should have been Mushroom Kingdom domain. All of that was weird enough, but to realize his brother didn't have a shadow…

Was Luigi even there? Was this all a strange dream, or an illusion? Was someone trying to hurt him, or make him believe he was going mad? Perhaps it was the alien Tatanga returning to take his vengeance out on the one who rescued Sarasaland. Perhaps someone else was pulling the strings. If Bowser truly was behaving like a monster, then Mario had to figure out why.

When Luigi opened the door it was pitch dark inside. Mario grabbed a torch and lit it so they could see inside, and when they did they were greeted with a dirty and miserable looking Toad. The Toad had a red and white head plume and a tattered red vest. He looked up at the brothers with equal parts awe and apprehension.

"Thank you for saving me Mario…" The Toad said, his voice shaky, "But your princess is in another castle."

The Toad sniffed, hiccuped, and curled into himself to avoid eye contact. It was clear he had been held prisoner for at least a week, if not longer.

Mario approached the Toad and put a comforting hand on his back. The Toad looked up at him with wide eyes, clearly worried about how his bad news would be received.

"It's okay," Mario said reassuringly, "We'll 'a get you to safety. Then we can find the princess. What's your name?"

"Toadley," The Toad replied, "My girlfriend and I were just minding our own business when we were kidnapped."

"Girlfriend?" Mario asked.

"Yes sir," Toadley nodded, "Her name is Toadavette. I was taken to Morton Koopa Jr. to be used for target practice. She was taken to Lemmy's castle."

Mario, despite the seriousness of the situation, found himself snorting as he tried to repress laughter.

"Lemmy?" Mario repeated, laughing despite himself, "What kind of a name is Lemmy for an evil overlord?"

"Mario, that's not funny," Luigi chided him.

"I know…I know," Mario squeaked, trying desperately to not laugh, "It's just…listen to it! Like, suppose I were to say "Look out, it's Lemmy!". That doesn't sound right, does it?"

"Mario, I know you're very busy saving our princess," Toadley said humbly, "But…if you could…could we go to Lemmy's castle and save Toadavette? I don't want her to be harmed by those evil Koopas."

"Of course," Mario replied readily, "Just…give me a moment."

Mario then left the room with all the dignity he could muster, closed the door, and then laughed so hard that Luigi and Toadley could hear him through the walls.

"LEMMY! BWAHAHAHAHA!"


As the last nut was screwed into the main chamber of the infinite warp pipe, Bowser felt his nervousness growing. He needed an eternium crystal to power the machine, but the only one he knew of was Princess Peach's broach. He was too nervous to talk to her about this. He knew that his evil self had harmed and humiliated the princess, and he had a feeling that whatever he asked of her, no matter how small, she would probably refuse.

"Toadette," Bowser called out.

"Yes, your majesty?" Toadette asked apprehensively.

"I want you to go to the dungeon and get Princess Peach's broach from her," Bowser ordered, hoping the princess would be more cooperative with a Toad.

"Her broach? What do you need that thing for?" Toadette asked.

"It's an eternium crystal," Bowser explained, "That broach can power this warp pipe, and once it's fully operational I can return the world to the way it's supposed to be."

"Hm…alright," Toadette replied hesitantly, "Can I bring Cleetoad and Miltoad with me?"

"I don't see why not,": Bowser shrugged, "Gadd, Toadsmith, and I can clean up while you're gone."

"Very good, your majesty," Toadette replied.

Toadette then led the blue Toad and the yellow Toad to the hallways. They looked around at the Koopas and Goombas marching about, and waited until they could find a place to be alone before any of them spoke. Finally, they found a broom closet and hid inside.

"Toadette?" Miltoad spoke up, "You really think that warp pipe is gonna stop the war?"

"Funny you should ask," She replied to her yellow friend, "I've been thinking about this, and the way I see it, there are three possibilities. One: Bowser is lying about this whole thing and that new pipe is a weapon. Two: Bowser is telling the truth, the world is different, and if we help him with this plan we and our entire world will cease to exist. Three: He's wrong about what happened, he's from an alternate dimension, and when he leaves the real Bowser comes back and kills us."

"Or four: none of this matters because the pipe won't work," Cleetoad added.

"Exactly!" Toadette exclaimed, much to the surprise of Cleetoad, "You see, the way I figure it, if we stop that pipe from ever functioning we'll save the day. If he's lying, the weapon will never be used on our people. If he's telling the truth, then we're dealing with a softer, more lenient Bowser; the kind of Bowser we want. He would be more likely to stop the war if he ran out of options. So, either way, our goal is to keep that stupid pipe from ever working."

"But then why did we help him build it?" Miltoad asked, confused.

"Because he could still be dangerous," Toadette told him, "Now, since no one is currently watching us, we can free Princess Peach."

The others smiled, liking this plan a lot. They could free the princess, hamstring a weaker version of the Koopa monarch, and save the Mushroom Kingdom. Bowser wouldn't suspect a thing until it was too late.

When the Toads made it to Peach's dungeon, they could see her lying on a worn out mattress and sweating profusely. The room was too hot for someone like Peach, who was unaccustomed to the lava and smog-filled air of the Koopa Kingdom. The Toads rushed to their princess, hoping she was alright. Thankfully, she roused upon seeing them, and they all sighed in relief that she wasn't hurt.

"What…? Were you arrested too?" Peach asked her subjects.

"Sort of," Toadette replied, "We were captured by Roy Koopa, and have been forced to help Bowser with an invention."

"Bowser? What is he building?" Peach asked worriedly.

"He calls it an infinite warp pipe," Toadette informed her, "He says the world is broken, and he wants to fix it. It sounds pretty sinister if you ask me."

"No kidding," Peach agreed, "How close is it to being finished?"

"Pretty close," Toadette replied gravely, "He only needs one more part; your broach. Your broach is made from eternium crystal, so it can power the war pipe. We're gonna get you out of here so it can't be completed. Let's go!"

Toadette and the other Toads started running toward the door, but they stopped when they realized Peach wasn't following them. Instead, she sat on her bed, pondering the situation.

"Princess, if I may be so bold, let's move!" Toadette shouted.

"If I don't give him my broach, he might find another way to power the weapon," Peach reasoned, "He will also continue to chase me down so long as he is powerful enough to do so. We have a chance to land a critical blow against the Koopa Kingdom, and I think that warp pipe might be the key to everything."

"How do you mean, your highness?" Cleetoad asked.

Princess Peach fumbled around in the folds of her dress until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out a blue broach, identical to the one she was wearing in almost every way.

"When I went on a diplomatic journey to Sarasaland last year, their princess presented this to me as a gift," Peach explained, "She knew I liked the color blue. Unlike my royal broach however, this one is not made with eternium. It is made out of a polished cloud gem. Rather than emitting power, it absorbs it. Once too much power is conducted into a cloud gem, it explodes."

"Ah, I see what you're saying," Toadette replied with a manic grin, "If Bowser uses that in the warp pipe, it'll blow up!"

"Exactly," Peach nodded, "I should present this to Bowser myself. Whoever does so will likely not escape his wrath, and you've all done enough for your kingdom."

"No!" Miltoad exclaimed, "Your highness, we need you! You're not just a kind and just ruler, but the symbol of what makes our people great. I'm just a Toad, the son of a farmhand. I'm nobody, so I'll do it."

"Nobody…" Peach shook her head sadly, "I've met nobodies before, and I find they can do great things. There was once a pair of plumbers who thought they were nobody, but they saved both their princess and our kingdom, becoming true heroes."

The other Toads felt inspired, remembering that day. They knew who she meant, the legendary heroes of their world, Mario and Luigi. They fought through world after world to save Peach the first time, and they did so with nothing but their wits and their ability to jump. Miltoad took a deep breath, let it out, and then held up his hand expectantly.

"I can do this, Princess," Miltoad insisted, "I ain't afraid of Bowser. We won't let him destroy our world."

"I'll go with you," Cleetoad declared, "He won't be a match for the both of us. Toadette, you lead the princess to safety. We're gonna go up to that evil King Koopa, and we're gonna be nobodies."

"I think you mean heroes," Miltoad corrected him.

"Oh, right. Oops," Cleetoad chuckled awkwardly.

Peach wiped a tear away from her eye, handed Miltoad the fake broach, and allowed Toadette to escort her away, they would have to be brave and limber to dodge every guard and run through every trap, but with Mario nowhere in sight she knew they would have to figure out how to save the Mushroom Kingdom by themselves. She just hoped the blue and yellow Toads were successful, and that they would figure out a way to defeat Bowser and his Koopalings once and for all.