Aunt Marge Visits
Harry was worried about Hedwig's long absence as he'd been gone for three days now. At about 1:00AM on the morning of the 31st, he saw out the bedroom window something off in the distance. Whatever this was, it finally resolved into three owls. Two were supporting a third between them.
He opened the window, and the owls landed on his bed. One was Hedwig, and the other he recognized as Errol – the Weasleys' elderly owl. The third, a handsome tawny owl, he didn't recognize but knew where it had come from.
Harry relieved all three owls of their burdens. He put Errol in Hedwig's cage, and he flew over to keep him company after Harry relieved Hedwig of his burden. The tawny owl was obviously from Hogarts' owlery as it bore the usual letter describing what school supplies he'd be needing for the upcoming term. It, too, carried a package, which was strange.
The correspondence consisted of birthday cards; the packages obviously gifts. He decided to put them aside, unopened. For the first time, he would have a proper birthday party.
Harry got up around 10:00, and found Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley watching the new TV that was Dudley's coming home present. As he went for some toast, he was half paying attention. The talking head was winding up a report about an escaped convict:
"… Be on the look out for Black…"
The photo showed a sallow faced man with shoulder length, greasy, ungroomed hair. Vernon gave Harry a sideways glance. Dudley noticed: "Finally, someone with wilder hair than Harry".
Harry always had a problem controlling his hair, and that had been a source of contention. Once, Petunia had taken shears to Harry's head, trimming his hair very short, but leaving the bangs to cover his scar. He wondered about how he'd be teased at school the next day, but his hair grew in overnight.
"… If you should happen to see Black, DO NOT APPROACH!", the announcer emphasized. "Consider him armed and dangerous. Instead, report any sightings to our special tip line…
"The latest from the Agricultural and Fisheries Department…"
"Wait a minute!", Vernon called out, "not Word One about where he escaped from. For all we know, he could be coming down the street right now!
"When will they ever learn? These types can only be dealt with by hanging".
"I'm sure you're right", Petunia agreed.
"So what did he do?", Harry asked.
"He's a terrorist that blew up a gas main under a busy street, killing some thirteen people. They said when he was arrested that he laughed about what he did, and that he admitted it", Vernon explained.
"Aunt Marge will be spending a week".
"Marvelous", Harry said with sarcasm.
"She's arriving day after tomorrow".
"Sounds like a good time to make that appointment to see the goblin healers".
"You know she doesn't get many chances to visit. Do try to be nice".
Vernon's sister lived out in the country where she bred bulldogs. She won blue ribbons at dog shows. She knew her business, and was good at it. Caring for the dogs meant she didn't have much free time.
Harry's history with his uncle's sister, whom he was always required to call "Aunt Marge" even though she wasn't, wasn't good. When he was five, Marge whacked Harry's shins with a walking stick to keep him from beating Dudley at Musical Statues at Dudley's birthday party.
A few years after that, Dudley received a computerized robot while Harry got a box of dog biscuits and the Dursleys didn't have a dog. The year before he left for Hogwarts, Harry accidentally stepped on the tail of her favourite bulldog, Ripper. Ripper had chased Harry out of the kitchen, out into the yard, and up a tree. She refused to call Ripper off until past midnight.
"For your birthday that we'll go out for dinner, and have cake and presents when we get home", Vernon was explaining the day's plan.
"That sounds great", Harry said. There would otherwise be no party as Hermione was in France, and Ron in Egypt. Petunia spent the afternoon making and baking Harry's birthday cake.
0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
"Do we hafta wear these damn monkey suits?", Dudley was complaining.
"Now, now, Didums…"
"Would you stop calling me 'Didums'"
"You'll always be my Didums…", Petunia said as she gave him a hug.
"MOOOO-THERRR!"
"You're growing up fast, and you won't be a kid much longer. It's time you experienced some elegance. Believe me, it will serve you well in the future… And stop fooling with that tie".
They returned home from a fine French restaurant sometime after 10:00PM. After cake, it was finally time to unwrap presents.
"A gift certificate for Diagon Alley?", Harry asked, perplexed. "This is great!"
"I went to Diagon Alley with my sister, Lily", Petunia reminded. "Tom the bartender at the Leaky Cauldron was most helpful".
"What about the muggle repelling charms?"
"You do know I'm a squib", Petunia explained, "so I can visit magical locations".
"Open mine next", Dudley called out.
It was a small box that contained a diver's wrist watch.
"I had to get it from a second hand shop. It's 100% mechanical – no electronics – so it'll work at Hogwarts", he explained.
"Thank you, Big D, that was thoughtful of you". Harry didn't believe he had it in him.
Vernon got him a new Apple laptop: "I know you've been wanting one".
"Thank you, and you're right. Not very useful for Hogwarts, but I can definitely use it here".
"How about your friends' gifts?", Petunia asked.
He tore off the brown paper wrapping to reveal a small box wrapped in gold gift wrapping, and an envelope. Inside were a newspaper clipping from the Daily Prophet – a promotional:
Ministry of Magic Employee Scoops Grand Prize
Mr Arthur Weasley of the Ministry of Magick won the annual Daily Prophet sweepstakes.
"I never thought I'd ever win, as I haven't won any sweepstakes or raffles yet. I wondered if anyone ever won any of these things, to be quite frank. We will be using the winnings to visit Egypt where my eldest, Bill, works for Gringott's as a Curse Breaker.
The Weasley family enjoying their vacation.
There was a photo showing the whole family posing with a pyramid in the background. There was plumpish Molly standing next to tall, balding Arthur. Six sons and one daughter. Tall and gangling Ron was front and center with his pet rat, Scabbers, perched on a shoulder. One arm around his sister, Ginny, in an affectionate semi-hug.
The package Errol brought had a small box and a note:
Dear Harry,
Happy birthday!
It's really amazing, here in Egypt. Can you believe it? Father actually won! I didn't think anyone ever won. A thousand Galleons! Most of it's going to the trip, but Mum says there will be enough left to buy me a new wand, and new robes for a change. Bill's taken us around the tombs. Mum wouldn't let Ginny go into the last one. It was filled with the skeletons of Muggle grave robbers and the curses made them grow extra heads and stuff.
We'll be staying until a week before the new term starts. We'll be going up to London for our books and my wand and robes. Any chance of meeting you there?
Don't let the Muggles get you down.
Do try and come to London.
Ron
PS: Percy's Head Boy. The letter came last week.
A second look, and Percy was wearing his new Head Boy badge pinned to his fez. He was looking particularly pompous.
The box contained what looked like a glass top. There was another note
Harry,
This is a pocket Sneak-o-scope. It's supposed to light up, spin, and whine if it detects anyone with bad intentions. Bill says it's unreliable and just junk they sell to tourists. It kept acting up last night at supper, but Bill didn't know about the beetles Fred and George slipped into his soup. I wasn't supposed to send Errol on such a long flight, but I didn't know how else I'd get it to you.
Bye
Harry placed it on the coffee table and it balanced on its point even though it wasn't spinning.
"Says we're all trust worthy", Harry said.
Next he opened the package Hedwig brought. It, too, included a letter and a rather heavy package.
Dear Harry,
On Holiday here in France. I didn't know how I'd be able to send you your gift. What if some customs inspector opened it? Then Hedwig showed up to solve the problem. You didn't send him? I bought you a little something from the magical shopping district here in Paris. Similar to Diagon Alley, but rather larger with more shops. You should see the book store! Puts Flourish and Blotts to shame.
Did you see that picture of Ron and family? I bet he's learning loads, and I confess: I'm a bit jealous. The ancient Egyptian wizards must be fascinating.
There's a lot to learn here too, and I've redone my entire essay for History of Magick. I hope it's not too long as I'm two rolls of parchment over what Professor Binns asked for.
Ron said Percy made Head Boy. I'm sure Percy's quite pleased, but I'm not so sure Ron's too happy about this. Speaking of Ron, he also mentioned London. Do you think you can make it? If not, I'll see you on the First, on the Express.
Much Love,
Hermione
Harry had two thoughts: first that Hermione had no reason to be jealous as Ron wasn't going to learn anything new if he could help it. Second was that this was typical Hermione: over doing the assignment, as she did this all the time. As for what she sent, he figured a book of obscure and difficult spells and charms.
How Hedwig knew, he couldn't begin to guess, other than he was an extraordinarily intelligent owl.
Once the wrapping was off, he saw a black leather case that reminded him of the cases used to carry handguns and ammo. It wasn't as the silver lettering read: "Broomstick Service Kit". Unzipping the case showed it contained a jar of Fleetwood's High Gloss Handle Polish, a pair of Tail Twig clippers, a brass compass that could be clipped to the handle for cross country navigation, and a manual: Do It Yourself Broom Care and Maintenance.
"Wow Hermione", he said to himself. He never saw anything like that at Quality Quiddich Supplies in Diagon Alley.
"Glad you like it", Dudley said, "I wouldn't have any use for it".
"It's too bad there's no where we could go flying. I'd take you up".
"Thanks, but no thanks. I'll stick to Ultralights".
The last package came from Hogwarts. There was the usual letter:
Dear Mr Potter:
Please be advised that the new term will start on 1 September, and that the Hogwarts Express will leave King's Cross at 11:00. Third year students and up are permitted to visit Hogsmeade on certain weekends. Give the enclosed permission form to your parents/legal guardians to sign. The list of required texts is also included.
See you on the First.
Sincerely
Prof M. McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
The package held something green, but it growled at him as he was unwrapping whatever it was. He got half the wrapping paper off, just long enough to register it was a book, and the title: The Monster Book of Monsters. The book snapped at him, and he dropped it.
"DA FUCK!", Dudley called out.
The book stood on its edges and began scuttling across the floor on its covers like a crab. It headed for the kitchen, Harry in pursuit. He found it trying to hide between the 'fridge and the end of the counter.
"DAMMIT!", he called out as it bit his hand.
The monster book took off again, and Harry was finally able to tackle it, hold its covers closed.
"Be right back", as he headed upstairs. He returned with the book belted shut.
"Well… that's… different", was all Vernon could say.
"Who'd send you a thing like that?", Petunia asked.
"Maybe best to just burn the thing", Dudley suggested.
"Let's see…", Harry unfolded an enclosed letter.
Dear Harry:
Happy birthday!
I'm sending you a book that I think you will find very useful. I'm not saying anything more as I don't want to spoil the surprise. I'll explain further when I see you. Hope your summer's been pleasant. Hope the muggles been treating you right.
Your friend,
Hagrid
"Teachers don't send us gifts", Dudley said. "That looks suspicious".
"The wizarding world does things differently. You don't have to worry about Hagrid, it's just his way of being friendly. At worst, all he could be accused of is favoritism, but I've been getting that for as long as I can remember".
Finally, the best B-day Harry ever had.
0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
The evening of the first of August saw another late evening visit.
"By now, you've heard?", he asked.
"Is this about that Black?", Vernon asked.
The news was filled with the announcement of the escape, admonitions to be on the lookout for the escapee, and warnings of his being armed and dangerous. It wasn't like anyone could be unaware.
"Indeed. Sirius Black, the escapee, is Harry's godfather…"
"The mass murderer and terrorist?!", Vernon said.
"He didn't do it. In fact, he never had his day in court. He was sent to Azkaban without a trial".
"How could he be held all these years? Without a trial! It's unheard of!", Vernon objected.
"It's the wizarding world…"
"I'm getting pretty sick and tired of hearing that excuse. What you're describing is more like some Third World, tin pot dictatorship. The more I hear, the more I convince myself to separate Harry from the whole stinking world, send him to Smeltings, and forget all the hocus-pocus"
"What happened was that the aurors caught Sirius at the scene, and he gave them a confession, claimed it was all his fault. That was good enough for the then head of magical law enforcement. Barty Crouch, Sr, to have Sirius sent to Azkaban.
"You have to understand the times: it was right after Harry banished the Dark Lord. There was an understandable air of celebration…"
"So that's what happened? I remember all those weirdos hanging around, owls spotted all over the city and no one had an explanation. I even had one of those freaks hug me all the while saying it was a glorious day even for 'muggles'. It was soon thereafter we discovered Harry on our doorstep".
"No one was in any mood to cut a suspected follower of the Dark Lord, the betrayer of the Potters, no less, any slack. Azkaban just might have been the safest place for Sirius. Of course, the possibility he would receive a fair trial was somewhere between slim and none, and closer to none. After that, Sirius fell through the cracks. By the time Cornelius Fudge became the Minister of Magick, it would have been a political embarrassment to reopen the Black case".
"He never tried to get a trial?", Harry asked.
"I don't know if he ever did, but I do know there was a lot of opposition to reopening the case. This was coming from the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot: Albus Dumbledore".
"Dumbledore again!"
"How can you be so sure Black didn't do it?", Vernon asked.
"Because we know who did it: betrayed the Potters, caused the gas explosion, and faked his own death. It was one of James' friends and fellow Marauder: Peter Pettigrew.
"All but one of the Marauders were unregistered, illegal animagi. James was never one to be a stickler for following rules, to say the least. James' animagus form was a stag, hence his nick: Prongs. Sirius' was a black dog, so he was Padfoot, and Pettigrew's was a rat".
Tom pulled out that picture of the Weasleys' vacationing in Egypt.
"This rat…"
"Scabbers!", Harry said, shocked.
"Yes, Harry, your friend's pet rat is Peter Pettigrew, the betrayer of the Potters. As for the timing of Sirius' escape, he saw this very picture and recognized his old pal: the Marauder whose nick is Wormtail. Take a good look at that picture: you can clearly see that Scabbers is missing a toe from his right, front paw. The same missing finger that was discovered at the scene of the crime, the one that convinced the DMLE and Wizengamot that Pettigrew died while attempting to apprehend Sirius. He was awarded a posthumous Order of Merlin, Second Class".
"Why…", Harry started.
"Pettigrew was never known for bravery. For that very reason, he became the Potters' Secret Keeper, instead of Sirius who would be the most obvious candidate. Somehow, Voldemort got to him, and he became a Death Eater. To save his own skin, and/or curry favour with his lord and master, he dropped the Fidelius Charm that kept James, Lily, and you hidden. Being defenseless, but not knowing how vulnerable they were, Voldemort killed your parents and attempted to kill you. Fortunately for your sake, he tried the Killing Curse instead of simply strangling you in your crib. The Curse backfired, and took out Voldemort instead, but not completely".
Harry knew what he meant: first Quirrel, and then Tom Riddle's diary that nearly took Ginny's life. He wasn't about to mention that second year: fighting off the sixteen year old Riddle who was well on his way to rematerializing himself with Ginny's life force, and battling a huge basilisk.
"It was Sirius who was first on the scene, followed closely by Hagrid, who pulled you from the ruins, and Dumbledore who sent you with Hagrid to the Dursleys. Sirius pursued Pettigrew to London, intending to hand him over to the aurors. Sirius was knocked out, and when the aurors arrived, he kept saying it was all his fault. They and Barty Crouch took this as a confession, and he was locked away in Azkaban up until he escaped".
"What does this mean for Harry?", Vernon asked.
"Harry will meet Sirius on the evening of Marge's final day with you. At the time, you didn't know who the big black dog was. This time, you will.
"It is essential that you talk some sense into your godfather. You see, it's his intention to murder Pettigrew: revenge is why he escaped. If his name is to be restored, we don't need that".
"So what do we do about Pettigrew? Can I wring Scabbers' neck? Feed him to a snake or cat or something?"
"You must do nothing of the sort. You must not give away anything that could alert Wormtail that he's been discovered, otherwise, he runs away again. In his animagus form, he still retains his human intelligence, and understands every word he hears. The best time to get at him will be over the Christmas break. The aurors can take him after Ron returns to the Burrow with Scabbers. Once he's in custody, they will have to clear Sirius of all charges".
0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
"Marge's train gets in at 11:30", Vernon announced. "I'm off. Care to come along?", he asked Dudley.
"I'll pass"
"You two need to make yourselves sharp for Marge", Petunia announced. "Mummy's bought you a new bow tie, Dudders".
"How dorky…"
"Now Dudders, you need to keep up your end of the bargain. Try to do something about your hair, Harry".
He wondered why bother? Regardless, Marge will find something to criticize. She always did.
Harry was still fussing with his hair when he heard Vernon's SUV pull into the driveway.
"Down here, now!", Petunia called out. She choreographed everything. Harry stationed himself beside the front door.
"Open it", she hissed at him. Marge was there at the door. She was a lot like Vernon, large and beefy. In one hand, she had a large case, and under her other arm, an old, rather foul-tempered bulldog.
"Where's my Diddums, where's my neffie-poo?", she called out as she thrust the heavy suitcase at Harry, nearly knocking him over. Dudley was coming down the hall, new bow tie below his chins.
She gave him a smothering hug and planted a big, wet kiss on his cheek. Harry knew he put up with this because he was being paid. Sure enough, he flashed a crisp twenty pound note after Marge let him go.
"I'll take your case to the guest bedroom", Harry said. He received not a word of thanks.
"Petunia! It's been too long", she said before giving Aunt Petunia a peck on the cheek.
Vernon was coming back from the driveway: "Tea, Marge?", he offered. "What will Ripper take?"
"He'll have tea from my saucer".
Any excuse to be away from Marge, so Harry got a case of the slows as he took her suitcase upstairs. When he finally returned to the kitchen, Marge was having fruit cake and sipping tea while Ripper was lapping up tea from the saucer.
"You still here?", she asked Harry.
"Yes"
"I don't like your tone, Boy! It was damned good of Vernon and Petunia to take you in. You should show more gratitude. If you had been left on my doorstep, I'd've called the authorities to take you to an orphanage. I'd've thought that school would knock some manners into you. You haven't improved since I saw you last".
Turning to Vernon: "Where did you say you were sending him?"
"St Brutus': it's a first rate institution". Fortunately, he didn't add "Special Center for Incurably Criminal Boys", what he said before the compulsions were removed.
"Tell me, Boy, do they use the cane at your school?"
"The Headmaster has prohibited all forms of corporal punishment. The Caretaker, however, would probably enjoy caning students".
"This is why the whole country is going to Hell in a handcart! This wishy-washy liberalism is ruining generations of young people. Children are like tea pots: you need to warm their bottoms, make them cry out. Youth were much better behaved when the cane was used liberally. You should write the Headmaster, tell him you give permission to apply the cane with maximum force".
"Who's looking after the kennels?", Vernon changed the subject.
"Oh, I have Colonel Fubster looking after the dogs. He's retired now, so it's good to give him something to do. Of course, I can't leave Ripper, you see, he pines if I'm away for too long".
The thought occurred to Harry that it seemed very unlikely that that foul tempered, nasty bulldog had the capability of "pining" for anyone. He kept that thought to himself.
Later on, Marge was in the kitchen, admiring the very life like owl statue that was on the top of the 'fridge. She wondered how she hadn't noticed it before, or who might have put it there. When the "statue" turned an amber eye her way, and gave a hoot of inquiry, Marge's scream brought everyone to the kitchen.
All Marge could do was point: "That… that… that…"
"Family pet", Petunia explained. Turning to Harry:
"Harry, better take Hedwig to his cage. We need to keep these two separated; those talons could do some serious injury to a dog". Ripper was barking and jumping, trying to get to the owl.
"C'mon", Harry offered an arm; he snapped his beak. "I know you don't like the cage, if you come along there will be an extra owl treat for you".
Hedwig fluttered to Harry's arm: "Be right back".
"I thought you didn't like animals in the house?", Marge asked.
"Only some animals": Petunia kept that to herself.
"I don't know where you got that idea", she said, innocently.
