Chapter 10: Memories of those Lost
It was late in the evening as the sun descended lower towards the horizon while Po and Li Shan watched the villagers down below from the balcony of the chief panda's hut.
Po let out a heavy, relaxed hum. "How was that?" He asked, turning to Li Shan.
Li Shan gave a slight nod before he took in a deep breath and let out a heavier, much more relaxed sounding sigh.
"Whoa…" Po whispered in awe.
"Now you try again, but don't try so hard." Li Shan instructed.
"Okay, okay." Po said before he took a deep breath and let out a heavier sigh that was fairly reminiscent of Li Shan's.
"Much better." Li Shan said with a proud smile.
"Thanks, dad." Po said.
"For what?" Li Shan asked.
"You know. Just for… you know, showing me what it feels like… to be a panda." Po explained. "So, when do you think I'll be ready?"
"Ready?" Li Shan asked, confused.
"You know, learn how to master chi." Po replied.
Li Shan was silent for a moment. "Soon, real soon." He said. He then stood up. "Come on. I wanna show you something else."
Getting up from the balcony, Li Shan quietly led Po back to his hut, opening the door as they walked in. The room itself was a mess as belongings and blankets were scattered everywhere.
"Sorry about the mess." Li Shan said. "I don't usually get visitors. But… I felt it was only right for you to see this."
Li Shan then stepped out of the way, letting Po see what he wanted him to see.
And what Po saw… almost made him cry.
Sitting right there in front two lit candles and a plant in the style of a miniature shrine was a small picture detailing Po as a baby and being held by an all too familiar panda woman.
Gently, Po hesitantly picked up the picture as his eyes quivered slightly. "Is this… my mom?" He asked.
Li Shan nodded as he and Po sat down on the rugged floor. "I had this done on your one-hundreth day." He said with a nostalgic look in his eyes. "Your mama couldn't hold you still. You nearly ate the paper." He chuckled fondly, getting a giggle from Po. "It's true."
"What was she like?" Po asked.
Li Shan sighed as he gently took back the picture. "She was the total package. Smart, beautiful… tremendous appetite."
Po laughed at that.
"She was the love of my life." Li Shan said with a small smile. "And then… just when I thought I couldn't get any luckier… along you came, my little Lotus." He chuckled. "I really had it all."
As he continued, Li Shan's face fell as a deep sadness began to envelop him. "Until that… one moment… when I lost everything." He said sadly as he set the picture down.
In that instant, Po knew what he was talking about. The attack by Lord Shen and his wolves on the village, when his mother was forced to flee and leave him behind in order to save his life.
Instantly, Po was drawn back to that memory, being set down in that radish basket by his mother who comforted him as he cried in the cold, giving him one last warm kiss before she drew Shen away and sacrificed herself.
Li Shan sighed as he gently ran his hand along the picture in sadness.
"Dad," Po spoke, putting a hand on his shoulder, "you don't have to worry about losing me ever again, okay?"
Li Shan smiled at his son as he and Po drew each other into a hug.
At last after so many years, father and son were finally reunited.
"Let me get some of that!" Big Fun said, seemingly coming out of nowhere as he bearhugged both Po and Li Shan, leaving poor Po sandwiched in middle.
Michelangelo leaned against the open window of his, Po, and Leo's hut as he watched a small group of pandas playing in the village below.
A mother panda was helping one of her cubs fly a kite while her other cubs watched in awe.
Even though he was at a far distance, Mikey could still hear them as they talked.
"Here, bring it up now." The mother panda told her cub.
"Mom, lookit!" The panda cub said joyfully, running along as the kite soared high into the air.
"Whoa!" One of the cubs whispered in all while the mother panda chuckled.
Mikey watched the small family of pandas with a smile, but then there was also a twinge of sadness.
Seeing this small happy family of pandas reminded him of his own family. While they had tons of friends and they were close enough to be considered family, Mikey knew that his brothers were his only true family.
He slumped down as his thoughts began to drift towards their late father, Master Splinter. Oh, how he wished his papa was still alive.
And as he gazed upon the mother panda treating her cubs with such kindness and love, it reminded Mikey of when he and his brothers met Tang Shen in the past... before she had been accidentally slain by Oroku Saki.
As one thought led to another, and before Mikey knew it, he saw himself with his brothers and Splinter back in the Lair sitting by the tv and laughing as they watched a movie. But what really made this dream perfect was that Tang Shen and Miwa were there, Splinter's wife and daughter with them as they were raised together as a family.
In this dream, Tang Shen would live and Miwa would never become Karai. Tang Shen would move to New York with Splinter where they would buy four baby turtles. And after an accidental encounter with the Kraang, Splinter and Tang Shen would spend their lives in the sewers with their sons and daughter.
In this dream, Leo, Raph, Donnie, Mikey, and Karai would be raised together, growing up as siblings until they were finally allowed to go to the surface on their fifteenth birthday, stopping the Kraang and the Foot Clan, making their mother and father proud…
… together.
"Mikey?"
Mikey snapped his head, turning around to see Leo standing behind him with a look of concern on his face.
"Mikey… why are you crying?" Leo asked, now sounding worried.
Confused, Mikey made a face. "... what?" He stammered. He then let out a watery chuckle as he lifted a hand to his face. "I-I'm not crying, Leo. I'm-"
The party turtle was silenced instantly when he felt the dampness on his mask.
Mikey's eyes went wide as he traced his cheek to find a steady stream of tears trickling down his face. What? He wasn't aware that he had been crying at all. He'd been completely fine before so why…?
Blinking rapidly, Mikey snapped himself out of his trance. "U-Uh, sorry, Leo." He giggled, feigning a smile as he used the back of his hand (which was covered by the han kote gauntlet he wore) to wipe away the tears, only for more to seem to fall. "H-Heh, sorry. Get it together, Mikester, geez!" He weakly joked, his voice wavering as he smiled at Leo, even as the tears continued to fall.
Watching his baby brother sadly as he fought so hard to compose himself, Leo reached out and laid a soft hand on Mikey's shoulder, causing the orange clad turtle to blink in surprise, but he didn't shy away.
"Mikey…" Leo said in a calm, big brother voice.
The sound of his big brother's soft voice instantly caused Mikey to break down as he couldn't stop the tears from falling as they dripped down his cheeks ceaselessly. "I-I'm sorry, Leo. I-I j-just…" Mikey blubbered out before he let out another sob, unable to finish his sentence as he buried his face into his hands.
Unable to watch his baby brother cry any longer, Leo gently wrapped his arms around Mikey and pulled him close, resting his chin on the orange clad turtle's head.
Leo rubbed his hand across Mikey's shell in soothing motions as Mikey buried his face into the crook of his neck, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed and cried loudly.
"Mikey, please tell me what's wrong." Leo said patiently.
Mikey sniffled as he struggled to compose himself. "I-I was just t-thinking about him." He managed to say.
"Who?" Leo asked, not really knowing if he wanted to know what Mikey was talking about.
"F-Father." Mikey answered.
Leo felt his own eyes water. "Oh, Mikey." He said as he held Mikey tighter.
"S-seeing all these pandas being h-happy with their f-families just had me t-thinking…" Mikey sniffled. "... I-I wish dad was still here… so h-he could see all t-this. So w-we could still be a f-family." He let out another sob. "I miss him so much."
Leo continued to hold Mikey as he let a few tears flow himself. "Me too, Mikey. Me too." He whispered. "Nakanaide, ototo. Watashi wa koko ni imasu. Watashi wa koko ni imasu…"
The four turtles rarely ever spoke Japanese to each other, unless one of them was upset or if they tried to comfort each other.
Splinter would often speak it when they were younger to soothe them when they were having trouble sleeping or if they were feeling sad.
It comforted them somehow.
But Leo knew that it was not enough. Not anymore. Not with Splinter gone.
All they could do now was grieve…
… and hold on together as best they could.
