Author's Note: I am such a sucker for a good maternal Jody moment, especially when it comes to Dean, so here we are. This first chapter is set directly after Mary decides to leave the bunker, since she misses the heaven versions of Sam and Dean.


"Would it kill you two to clean up after yourselves?" Jody yelled at the backs of the quickly disappearing girls. They were giggling as they ran out of the house, on their way to an evening movie. Jody figured she couldn't complain, since they were getting along really well these days and actually hanging out and doing something non life threatening. She really couldn't ask for more these days. And if she got stuck with extra dishes occasionally, she could deal.

Jody threw on an old movie she'd seen a hundred times for some background noise and started working her way through the backlog at the sink, mouthing along to some of the scenes she knew by heart. She could sometimes convince Alex to watch them with her, but it was a harder sell when it came to Claire. That was fine though, since she and Claire had their own things they did together. Jody was happy to let them be their own people, since even having them as family was a privilege.

Being a mother without a child had been one of the hardest things she'd had to learn how to do. Then gaining her son back, only to lose him again alongside her husband had been excruciating. But she'd pulled through and now was genuinely happy with how her life was at the moment. Of course her heart ached with what she lost and what could have been, but she couldn't dwell on those things. Most people only had one life to live and she was going to try her hardest to live hers to the fullest. Her phone ringing pulled her from her musings and she smirked when she saw the name that popped up on her caller ID.

"I was just thinking about you, albeit in a roundabout way," Jody chuckled, drying her hands as she held the cell between her shoulder and ear. "How you been, Dean?"

"Good thoughts, I hope," Dean's rough voice replied through the speaker, and immediately Jody could tell something was wrong. Her mom instincts were screaming at her that while Dean's words were light, his tone was troubled. Added with the fact that he rarely called just to chat, her instincts were on high alert.

"Are you hurt? Is Sam?" Jody asked quickly, mentally thinking about how far she could get with the amount of gas currently in her car and when her next shift started. She could be on the road in 90 seconds if necessary.

"We're fine. I'm sitting in my kitchen and Sam's probably in his bedroom braiding his hair," Dean snickered, but she could tell his heart wasn't in it.

"Okay, so what's wrong?" Jody questioned. Dean was very good at being evasive, especially when he was the one who had something he needed to say. He could talk your ear off about nothing at all and make you forget what the point of the whole conversation was supposed to be. The direct approach was usually best.

"What makes you think something is wrong? Can't a guy just call to check in on a fellow hunter?"

"Can you? Yes. But do you? No," Jody shot back. "So spill." She heard Dean sigh on the other end of the line, then he stayed quiet for a few more seconds. She would let him have some time to collect his thoughts before she pushed again. Opening up wasn't easy for anyone, especially a lifelong hunter.

"Were your parents proud of you?" Dean asked quietly, and Jody really hadn't been expecting that. She blinked a few times in surprise, leaning against the kitchen counter as she tried to get her brain to catch up to the direction this conversation had gone in. That was a lot more personal than she was used to coming from Dean. If it didn't have anything to do with a hunt, Dean didn't divulge anything. But if Dean was making an attempt right now, she was going to reciprocate as best she could.

"They were. At least I like to think they were. I lost them a while ago."

"I'm sorry," Dean murmured.

"It was a long time ago," Jody brushed off.

"Doesn't make it easy."

"No, it doesn't," Jody agreed. She'd lost her parents naturally and had come to terms with it, but that pain could still be just as sharp and catch her off guard sometimes. Jody knew the same couldn't be said for Dean. There was a lot of trauma surrounding all of his losses and that was something he would always carry. She didn't even have to have all the details to know that.

"Do you think they would be proud of you now? Seeing who you've become?" Jody blew out a breath, because she hadn't really thought about that before. Her parents had already been long gone by the time she became aware of the supernatural. They were barely there long enough to get to know her son before she lost them. But they had been happy to see her successes, from her family to her career. And they'd never given her the idea that they wouldn't be proud to see what she was doing now.

"I believe they would be. They respected my career in law enforcement and I like to think that they would see this as me helping people as well," Jody replied, running her finger along the edge of a plate. "What's this about?"

"You know that saying they have? About not meeting your heroes?" Dean asked, chuckling sadly under his breath. "I never understood it, because nothing sounded better. I was never worried about the possibility that they would disappoint me. But I never considered that I would be the one to disappoint them."

"Oh, Dean-"

"I don't understand what I did wrong," Dean whispered, and Jody felt her heart break. She had never heard Dean sound unsure about anything, not even in the face of almost certain failure. And the fact that he was directing that uncertainty at himself was almost too much for her to handle. "I try so hard, but it still isn't good enough. It never has been."

"That's not true," Jody insisted, but Dean was too far gone to register her words.

"My whole life I've been trying to be who everyone wanted me to be. I've lived and died for everyone but myself, and what do I have to show for it?" Dean asked, followed by a tiny sniffle. "It's not like I wanted some reward. Hell, I don't even expect to be thanked. But have I really earned nothing?"

"Who are we talking about, Dean?" Jody asked quietly, wiping a tear from her own eye.

"How do I compete with a ghost? The version of me I never got to be?"

"Dean-"

"Out of everyone, she was the only one who didn't choose to leave me. Some part of me held onto that fact through everything. After Sam, after dad. Even though she was gone, I believed that she would never do the same. If by some miracle I got another chance with her, we would be a family. But the first chance she got, she was gone," Dean choked out. "Why am I never enough?"

"Now you listen to me, young man," Jody said, clearing her throat as her voice started to crack. This wasn't the time for her to feel her feelings. This was about Dean. "I don't know who made you think you're not good enough, but know this. I have never met a braver, more selfless, more caring individual in my life. I have seen you risk your life for strangers, take care of your giant of a brother, and connect with these girls in a way no one else can. I am privileged to have you in my life and to be able to call you a friend. You, Dean Winchester, are more than enough, and anyone who can't see that is an idiot and not worth your time." Jody could hear Dean take a few shuddering breaths and she wanted nothing more than to be able to reach through the phone and hold him. He didn't deserve to feel this pain.

"Yeah?" Dean asked softly, the mixture of sadness and hope in his voice digging right into her heart.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," Jody replied, with as much genuine sincerity in her voice as she could muster. She meant what she said and she wanted Dean to hear that, without question.

"Thank you," Dean whispered. Jody could hear that he didn't quite believe her, but he wanted to. This was deeply rooted insecurity and wouldn't be resolved during one phone call, but she hoped at least a little bit of pain had been chipped away. "I gotta get going."

"Don't be a stranger, okay? The girls and I would love to see you," Jody said, feeling a bit disappointed that the call was coming to an end. Maybe she could send Sam a text on the sly to keep a closer eye on his brother for a while. It might be overstepping boundaries, but those stubborn boys didn't always know what was best for them.

"That sounds nice. Hopefully a hunt takes us near you all soon," Dean agreed, a little more life back in his voice.

"And if one doesn't, you can still come anyways. You never need a reason to come visit. My door is always open for you," Jody insisted. She still wasn't sure who Dean had been talking about, but she wasn't going to be another person who let him down. Who left him.

"It is?" Dean asked in a painfully small voice.

"Always," Jody confirmed.

"Thank you," Dean said again, sighing a little bit. Jody hoped her words settled his heart some. "Bye Jody."

"See ya soon, Dean," Jody murmured back, listening to the other end of the line click off before she set down her phone. She may have been a childless mother for a while, but maybe that fact had been changed before Alex and Claire had come into her life. Maybe she also had a couple boys from Kansas filling that void without her even realizing it. And maybe she could fill a void they had as well.


Author's Note: If anyone has any suggestions of what they'd like to see in this series of one shots going forward, feel free to leave it in the comments. I have a few more ideas for chapters, but always appreciate more. Not sure what the update schedule is going to look like for this one. Basically whenever inspiration strikes.