"Am I dark being?"
"Yes."
"So I've always been tainted since, birth?"
"Yes."
"There is no such thing as innocence in me? Is there?"
"...That depends."
"These souls...of those lost. Does this mean I have murdered?"
With hesitant nod, John acknowledges it."Yeah. You have. Though not of your own choice."
"I doesn't matter. Murder is murder. So. I am cruse upon this world..."You cringe, clenching your fist in anger."What of...that..my birth mother? Did I..."The room became tight and heavy. There was no need for words, from the others. Looking at your calm resting hands, though clean, you could see feel the red liquid.
Smell it too. See it. No matter how clean. It was still there. You would have been applaud and frighten finding out. But, that was the along time ago. You just stare blankly. No emotion. Nothing. Grief and regret was nowhere on face or in your eyes. Not even a spark. Remorse was foreign. You didn't shutter. Just sat there and accepted it.
"What...what does it mean?"You ask. Looking at him. John stares into the black pools, which now where eyes. After what happened. Just bleak and empty your eyes would seem by those who didn't know. But, the others, though with their pity knew behind them you cried.
John lefts out a heavy sigh."It means...When someone kills an angel, even a Fallen One...Their damned to Hell. They get a one way ticket."
You hear a few gasp, but you remained unfazed."Makes since, I never had a life nor soul to begin with."You say looking down."Everything about me was made for no reason...I was made for no reason. Born to be soulless. Since day one. It now makes since...my birth being on the coldest and darkest day. I've lived in the dark, that's my true home. Right?"You look at John who kept quiet and let you keep going."Will I always be like this...now?"Opening your mouth showing him you fangs."This too?"Running your nails through your wild, thick white hair."This?"Pointing to your beady black eyes.
"Yes."
A amused scoff escapes you. Which slowly rises into small chuckle, a rather mental one."..."Holding your sides as it ascends to a laughter. No one knew how to react. Not even Dick."...I...I don't know why? Why I'm laughing? Why...Why I find this hilarious?"You confess confused. A twisted look in your eyes, flashing a bit of anger at John. That soon faded and tears came.
Laughter and tears."Violet..."Dick gets ready to comfort you, when you lash out at him.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"You hiss, shooting him a deadly glare. Your extra eyes appeared, burning with frustration, that quickly faded to confusion and pain. Tears rolled down them too. Through your tears everyone saw your broken twisted smile. Looking to John."...I can...I can still feel everyone...Inside me. Screaming out. And...I want...I want more...I need more.."You confess in disgust."I HATE! But...Then I don't...Should...Should I?"
A question as innocent as a child."You're going to have those urges..yes."John admits."I don't know how they can go away."Apologizing.
The weight of everything crushed you. Anger. Frustration. Rage. Sorrow. Confusion. Pain. All of it felt amplified. Ever bit of your life, you saw nothing. Nothing but misery, after misery. Like a flipbook. Repeating. Your life hadn't changed since day one. Nothing good came from it. Knowing you killed and why this death effected so much. Was beyond your understanding.
Those men...they had you do horrible things. For years and years. Then Trigon. And now Belladonna. Everyone had you do something horrible. It only made sense outside reflected everything inside. Your soul was right to be damned to Hell. Forever. You never deserved one. You didn't even deserve life, a life not meant to be your own. John had every right to exorcise you. He should have done it when he had the chance. Looking at the dagger still before you and lunge for it.
"VIOLET! NO!"The others shriek, Batman managed to snatch from your grasp, while the others held you back.
You cry and plead for them to let you go. So you could just die. Smiling through it. Telling them, life would be much easier this way A shattered...no broken soul like yourself wasn't worth being alive after everything you've done. Dark and Endless, you've come to accept as your only home. They refused to release you. Angering you.
Your fire begin to flare against them. The voices, you could hear their voices and words trying to snap you out of your delusional break down. But you refused to hear their lies. All of it was nothing but lies, they wanted to use you too. Dick to have what was left of his family. Starfire using you to spread her kindness. Raven, the same as Dick, having a bit of her family. The rest, you weren't sure, but there was something. And Damian...
Those hot tears didn't stop, they just couldn't. Each one running down your cheek was acid. Fill with toxic pain. Deep pain. Why did your life had to be like this? Why couldn't at least one parent...person in your life. Just love you? Why couldn't your parents just make you out of love? Why did they have to them? Why did they have to hurt their child? For their own purpose. Everyone in this room, was made out of some sort of affection. Even if it was only half. It was something. You, weren't. Affection was denied in your life. A truth you had to accept.
"...My life...is...it's nothing but...meaningless...crap.."You tell yourself, stopping with the struggle and drop your head."..."The tears didn't stop. Empty eyes looking down. A heavy hand touches your head."...It...It all hurts...Why...did they hurt me? Why does everyone want to hurt me? I'm so...so very tired of being lost...Like a leaf in the wind. Where's my happy ending? My loving family? When will the pain stop? When?"You cry into John, who had pulled you into his chest to comfort you.
He didn't know what to say to those questions. Gripping onto him tightly, the room was silent."Ya know why I didn't kill you?"He asked you."Because, you smiled."He whispers. Shocking you."If someone sired and born into darkness. Could make such a bright smile. Then they are NOT darkness's child."Using his magic he brings up that scene with you.
Hearing a baby's cry, made you look and see what he meant. Your eyes watch John staring down at you in his arms, shocked, looking closer everyone looking. See upon your infant face, a smile. Right at John, with a small laughter escaping. On the coldest and darkest night. You look in awe and shock."...That...That's me?"Reaching out, reluctant for a second. Touch the memory, though your hand went through the projection. The fact it was there.
Looking at that smile. The sound of something unlocking brought you back. Looking at John, who was holding a small box. A plain one."I managed to save it."He tells you."Your very first innocence."He opens it, and it felt so warm. So gentle. He gives it to you and the light fades.
"Where did it go?"Gar asked puzzled and confused. Jamie elbows him pointing and he sees where it went. Back to you. Dark eyes lite back up with color, long nails turned back into normal fingers. Tail vanished. And the smile returned. Everything did.
Amazed. You where just amazed. Looking to John, speechless."Thank...Thank you..."you cry, throwing yourself on him."Thank you, John."
Thankful you where and wishing he could stay. John had to go. He stayed for a few more days making sure everything was alright. Your recovery went well. Standing with the others in front of the Tower, John looks down at you. Smirking.
You stare up at him."Will..."You stop yourself."No. Thank you. Again."
"You're welcome."He ruffles your hair rather hard. And gives you a push."Ya sure you don't want to come with me?"
Glancing over your shoulder quickly at everyone and smile."I...I think I will be alright. I feel safer here."He shrugs his shoulders.
"Alright. Fine. Just don't...burn anyone."
"I won't."You promise."..."The two of you look at each other.
"Alright then, I'm off."He summons a portal and steps in. Without looking back.
"You know something..."Gar brings up."He never did explain how your human? I mean...both your parents are well...so wouldn't there have to be...I don't know a host or vessel?"He looks at the others seeing if they agreed."Didn't he say that? Well...at least implied it. Come on GUYS! Don't you want to know?"
"No."You simple answer, shocking him."I know enough."Looking at your hands. You still had Trigon's marks and white hair. Your parents tainted blood running through your veins.
But, what could you actually do about it? Gar had a point, about that part. But, you didn't want to know. Something telling you it was best you didn't. Turning around to the others and embrace Dick.
"...I love you."You tell him.
"I love you too."He response. Looking down at you affectionate.
You give him a smile and let go. Turning to Raven and hold out a hand to her. She takes it, you hold it firmly.
"Here you go."You say to Richie, opening the cage and feed him. It was so nice to hear his happy chirps again. You missed them so much. You missed him.
He missed you too. You could feel it. Watching your little robin eat his meal happily, a small smile breaks on your lips."You might be little. But, you make so very happy. Thank you my little robin."You stroke him gently and close the door to his cage."What a nice day."Taking notice of the serene view of the water from your window room. So relaxing.
Hard to believe not to long ago life was horrible."I should get some fresh air."
The view was nice, but the gentle waves outside was better. Smelling ocean air, the wind blew through your hair, making it look like dancing flames. You could feel it, all their sins and souls. Calling to you, starting up your hunger. You could still feel the others inside you. Screaming, in their lock torment. Yet, you kept calm despite the splitting headache. Remembering what Raven said and taught you.
It was the only way to deal with this insanity. No matter how much you wanted to cry. Standing here alone, in nothing but lost serenity. Dick now moved into the Tower, which was great. It was nice to have here, closer. Raven and you have grown closer. Though haunted by past transgressions, left you alone and still isolated from the others. Your hands still tainted with the blood of your mother. The fear of knowing your soul was doomed. Through actions not of your own, made you wonder...wonder if you could fight to save it. To be separated from everyone, even in death. Scared you.
Tears of your fear formed and fell. Through you smile. You had to fight for that not to happen. You wouldn't be alone in death. Shutting your eyes through your tears, opening them and look down finding someone hold your hand. It surprised and shocked you. That you try to take it back, for them to hold on tighter.
"Not this time."Damian said. Looking at you firm and serious. Squeezing your hand more. Holding it up."We've handle every obstacle together. We'll handle this one. Besides, who said you could anyway?"He flashes you a smirk.
Understanding you return the smirk."Yes. You're right. We do handle everything together."Squeezing his hand in return and look back at the ocean. The of you stood there in mutual silence watching the waves and water.
"You're still Violet, no matter what."Damian breaks the silence.
"I know."
"You could be more."
You scoff."What more could I be?"Turning to look at him, finding him staring at you rather intense, with his furrow. That softens behind those eyes green eyes, leaning in towards you. Your heart suddenly wanted to burst out its chest, looking at Damian confused and shocked."Da...Damian?"You stammer.
Up in the tower, Dick was walking in the hall when something caught his eye outside. That made him stop in his tracks."What...That little..."He grumbles.
Stopping mid-way through meditation Raven couldn't help but look outside and see it too. She smiles to herself, rolling her eyes and mumbles."...Finally."
