I hope y'all are staying healthy. I will try to get some writing done to help y'all stave off boredom. It's about the only thing I can do from quarantine myself.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.
Title: A Valentine's Offer
Pairing: Mirajane x Racer
Requester: cobrakiin
Prompt: "It's not fair that you're hot and funny." - "Look who's talking…just kidding, your jokes suck."
Valentine's Day. It was a day of war in the guild.
If it wasn't Macau and Wakaba trying to secure a pity date from one of the female guild members, or Loke's multi-date scam since he couldn't afford to take everyone out separately, or Gildarts's loud and brazen attempts to get his daughter to spend time with him (completely oblivious to his date, whom he'd brought with him for some reason), then it was Mirajane's fans come to pester the poor woman while she worked the bar.
Which was probably why she was working instead of out having fun with someone, Sawyer reasoned. Working gave her an excuse to refuse all advances towards her. But unfortunately, it also gave an excuse for the more persistent to hang around since she couldn't throw them out while they were purchasing food and drink. Since Fairy Tail didn't have a policy for throwing out outsiders unless they got rowdy, there wasn't much Mirajane could do about it. Sawyer had overheard Elfman earlier, too, apologizing for not being able to run interference for his sister this year as he himself had a date for once.
The only reason Sawyer was there was because of the food, honestly. Every other place in Magnolia jacked up the prices for the holiday, and eating alone on Valentine's Day would instantly garner the pitying gazes of everyone in an eating establishment. That would be mortifying. And way too expensive. He could cook for himself for the night, but given that he was pretty much useless at making anything under ten servings thanks to his years on the run, that left only the guildhall when his stomach started grumbling.
With nothing else to do while he ate, he'd then turned to watching the antics of his new guildmates. And among them, Mirajane's plight. Which he had an unfortunately excellent view of from his position at the bar.
It was honestly painful to watch. Sawyer knew (from very painful experience) that she could probably flatten anyone she damn well pleased, but from getting to know her of late as a member of her guild… he knew that she took her customer service role and image as the face of the guild very seriously. She wouldn't break character for anything less than immanent doom and even then she'd probably still retain her customer service smile the whole time.
Although, the longer he observed, the more he noticed the slight flaws in her carefully crafted facade. The too tight creases around her eyes, the slightly-more-forceful-than-necessary way she set a plate of food down, asking if a customer wanted the bill just a tad before they'd actually finished eating, or the slight webbing of cracks forming in a glass that she was cleaning (then quickly hidden from sight along with a growing pile of the same).
He finally worked up the gumption to say something to her after a particularly unpleasant pass from a man sitting a few places down from him. "Is this normal for you, or is today special?" he inquired.
With a careful and discreet glance to other patrons, Mirajane replied, "I'm not sure what you mean. You should know that I'm the regular bartender by now, Sawyer. Speaking of which, would you like a refill?"
"Yeah, sure. But you know… I could slow them down," he offered to her. "Before they knew it, it would be time for them to leave and they'd have less reason to pester you on refills."
Mirajane's smile widened slightly as she poured for Sawyer. "Although I appreciate the offer, I would never want to harass such well paying customers. Especially since they seem to be having such a good time drinking."
By this point, Sawyer was at least a little versed in Mirajane-speak, so he knew that she really meant, "I plan on milking them dry of their money for my troubles."
"Then I could just speed myself up and tie all their shoelaces together. Then when one tries to get up…" Sawyer held up an arm and mimed the falling of dominoes. "They'd never know what hit them." He wasn't actually sure if any of them were wearing shoelaces, but whatever.
She coughed at that, her eyes shining as she desperately tried to withhold a genuine laugh. Composing herself, she then held a hand delicately to her cheek and sighed most melodramatically. "It's not fair that you're hot and funny."
"Look who's talking…just kidding, your jokes suck," Sawyer teased in return. "There's no way anyone thinks I'm hot." He was too… pointy, for that. He wasn't insecure about it at all, he just didn't fool himself about that fact either. Most people found him strange looking, but the people that mattered the most to him - namely the other former members of the Oracion Seis - didn't give two shits about his appearance so neither did he.
What he didn't expect was for Mirajane's customer service smile to falter at the statement, her eyes widening a fraction in shock and her lips parting slightly. It returned in a blink, as if it were never gone. She let out a light laugh, her cheeks flushing slightly as she murmured, "Don't sell yourself short, my friend." Then she winked audaciously at him. "Take it from someone who personally finds you quite charming. And that advice is on the house."
Bewildered, Sawyer almost gaped at her as she was called away to help another person.
It wasn't out of character for Mirajane to heap compliments upon the people she cared about, or to tease them horribly, but that had been… almost sincere-sounding.
Well, then. Maybe he would take her advice.
But also, he was definitely going to tie their shoelaces together. For his own personal amusement.
