A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc. Thanks to dristi5683. I really appreciate your help.
Day 204
Asgard
This was not the first time Heimdall had contemplated a course of action which some might judge treasonous. Most believed his duty was to be unswervingly loyal to Odin. He saw it slightly differently: the greater good of Asgard had always been, and would always be, his highest priority. Centuries of observing the cosmos—watching the rise and fall of civilizations, bearing witness to the machinations of race after race, witnessing even great men grow weak—had taught him that no one was infallible. Not even the All-Father. Not even himself. So he stood in meditation, weighing his choices, locked in a debate with himself.
Odin would, of course, want to know what Jane had revealed to him. But, as when Loki had appeared next to the Cosmic Cube and begged for mercy, Heimdall was reluctant to betray Jane to Odin. He had chosen to warn Odin that Loki had uncloaked himself on Midgard, but he had not mentioned Jane Foster's involvement to either Odin or Thor.
Two factors had influenced Heimdall's decision. The first was known to everyone. Loki was a consummate liar. It was possible, even probable, that nothing Loki had said was true. Loki knew that invoking Jane's name was the easiest way to hurt Thor. Heimdall refused to be a pawn in the struggle for power between the brothers. Until he could discern the truth, he had chosen to remain silent.
The second factor was known to no one besides the Gatekeeper himself. One evening he had noticed a small girl leaning precariously out of her bedroom window, craning her neck toward the sky. He checked on her the next evening. There she was again, swiping the brown hair out of her eyes as she tried to sketch the stars. An adult tugged her back into the room, scolding her for being careless. She solemnly nodded in agreement, meekly climbed into bed, then scrambled for the window again as soon as the coast was clear.
The young mortal and her love of the stars amused him. He was curious what would be become of her. Heimdall never mentioned Jane to anyone, but he often looked in on her. He was pleased that the little sky-watcher did not forget the stars as she grew, even though her life was not easy. Perhaps she would be the first Midgardian to find her way to other realms.
His was a noble calling, but a lonely one. Night after night, year after year, century after century, he kept watch. When he assumed the mantle of Gatekeeper, he had understood that his life would be solitary. And so Heimdall felt a kinship with the girl who watched the sky, alone, as he watched the sky. After young Jane was orphaned, he gradually began to think of her as the daughter he would never have.
He felt he knew her, or at least knew something of her character. Jane had weathered tragedies, discrimination, and general ridicule, and yet held fast to her dreams. That was why he had discreetly redirected Thor to land in Puente Antiguo upon being cast out of Asgard. Heimdall had never intended to interfere in Jane's life. But he understood that Midgardians had ceased to believe in the old stories. A man declaring himself the god of Thunder could cause chaos. Odin meant for Thor to learn a lesson, but Heimdall wondered if he realized the toll that lesson might take on Thor and on Midgard. Jane Foster would at least consider the possibility that Thor was telling the truth, that he had come from a different world. She would help him. And she had, eventually.
So of course Heimdall didn't want to rush to implicate Jane in Loki's scheme. If Loki could be believed, Jane wasn't to blame. Heimdall shook his head, irritated with himself. What was keeping him from immediately summoning Einherjar? Wasn't it his sacred obligation to report all dangers to the throne posthaste? Perhaps Loki had discerned Heimdall's partiality to Jane and was using it for his benefit. He could not allow himself to be blinded.
Her sobbing confession in the frozen desert added another boulder to the weight on his shoulders. Heimdall had never seen Jane and Loki together. Loki was now not only capable of hiding himself from Heimdall's gaze, he also had partially cloaked Jane. His powers had grown, even in exile. Had Jane conspired with Loki in this? Jane had seemed truly broken and desperate as she had begged him not to tell, but it could have been an act, part of their overarching plot.
She certainly possessed the intellect. Jane was a brilliant mortal, her mind at least on par with Loki's. She was a force to be reckoned with, a driven scientist. Given her history, there was little the two of them working together could not accomplish.
But Heimdall had watched Jane long enough to know that she was not a good actress. She wasn't interested in dramatic games and power plays. She was interested in science. She had never shown signs of aspiring to power, merely to knowledge. Perhaps Loki had seduced her by promising her as-yet unattainable knowledge. That would make sense.
The golden-eyed sentry sighed. Odin needed to know that Loki had taken a bride—and this was no passing fancy, no easily-annulled drunken embarrassment: he had well and truly bound himself to Jane for eternity. Thor was slowly realizing the implications of the rune bond mark he had discovered. He would soon report to his father all he had learned. It would raise suspicion if Heimdall had not already alerted the All-Father.
But the identity of Loki's mate did not have to be revealed yet, did it? He believed Jane was right: if Thor knew that Loki had irrevocably claimed her, a bloody feud was likely to explode. It would distract them from the bigger threat looming. Jane would also be in grave danger, as Odin would designate her as an enemy of the highest order. Heimdall could not allow that as long as he had any hope she was innocent.
He would tell Odin a form of the truth: he did not witness a bonding ritual. He would not mention her name to the All-Father...yet.
oooOOOooo
Day 206
Puente Antiguo, New Mexico
Midnight blue shadows crept around the interior of the trailer, gradually lightening to dirty gray. Jane sat hunched on her bed, arms clasped around her knees, staring into her future. It was as bleak as the murky winter dawn, with no promise of warmth or longevity.
Her belly gurgled. Not with nausea, though. Hunger, probably. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. How long did it take to starve to death? She could do it. Just sit here in her trailer, wasting away, until all of this disappeared. It had already been more than a day since she'd holed herself up. If she didn't eat or drink anything, it could be over in a week, maybe. She appreciated the absurd as much as the next person, but this was too much. Ridiculous. Her whole life had devolved into one improbable and unbelievable event after another. It would be funny if it wasn't her actual, real life at stake.
How had it come to this? Where had she gone wrong? How had she gone from the tenacious, edge-of-conventional science Jane to starring in a remake of Rosemary's Baby?
Her stomach twisted, a bit more strongly this time. She absently scratched her wrist. She wanted to feel hate, to draw strength from fury, but her heart just lay in her chest like a cold rock. Maybe the life was already draining out of her.
Jane had always prided herself on forging her own destiny. Almost no one believed her theory. She had to fight for every penny of funding she got. But she had defied all expectations and succeeded. If Thor was to be believed, that had all been a cosmic joke. She wasn't in control of her fate at all; she was merely a pawn in the Norns' game…
"I would agree with you, if it wasn't for the prophecy."
Thor's words from a day and a half ago echoed in her head. "The Bridge's destruction caused tremendous upheaval. It was days after the battle, after Loki fell, before I could speak to Father.
"I asked him why he had said no to Loki. I felt he had encouraged Loki to let go and drop into the Void. Father's answer shifted all I had believed about my family. He told me that Loki was not my natural brother, that he had found him, abandoned, on Jotunheim. He felt compassion for the babe, and Mother agreed to raise him as her own. They hoped that one day this child would build a bridge of reconciliation between the realms.
"Then one day, Mother received a prophecy, something like 'the smallest giant with the strongest woman will conquer the undefeatable ruler.' It was devastating. Loki had become part of our family. The citizens of Asgard believed him to be the son of Odin and Frigga. Odin didn't want to kill him, nor could he do so without drawing unwanted attention. Neither did he want to send Loki away, either. 'Keep your enemies closer…'"
Jane had listened with a sick sort of fascination, her thirst for understanding warring with her instinct for self-preservation. Both she and Darcy sat mutely, minds barely able to absorb yet another blow.
"Mother begged Father to allow her to continue raising Loki as their son. She hoped that if Loki never discovered he was a Frost Giant, the prophecy would never come true. Fate can sometimes be shaped. Mother truly loved Loki and taught him all she could of the magic arts. Father, though he did care for Loki, was wary of him and held him at arm's length, which may have only served to fulfill the prophecy. Both Mother and Father told us terrible stories to discourage us from going to Jotunheim. But then..."
"Your coronation," Darcy interjected.
"Yes," answered Thor, "although we didn't know that it was Loki's doing. I was furious; I wanted to retaliate, but Father forbade it." He rubbed his eyes. "I understand now. Keeping Loki away from Frost Giants or Jotunheim was more important than saving face or protecting our honor, but the All-Father couldn't reveal that.
"I also understand why he banished me. Father was angry not so much that we had disobeyed—we had done that many times—but that we had gone to Jotunheim. He needed to separate us so we couldn't plot together to return, and he couldn't send Loki away. It was his hope that after the immediate danger was past, I would find a way to come back."
Shadows of winter's early evening darkened the room, but none of them got up to turn on a light. For several minutes the small group sat silently, each of them undoubtedly considering the story's impact on his or her own life. Jane was struggling to comprehend what Thor was saying. That Loki might want to take Odin out was no surprise. But what did this prophecy have to do with her? And how could she ask Thor without making him suspicious?
Eventually, the Asgardian continued. "Father's deeper fears were realized, however, after I had been dispatched. Loki discovered he was a Frost Giant and confronted the All-Father. Father tried to assure Loki that we cared for him, but the strain was too much and he fell into the Odinsleep. When he awoke, it was clear that the centuries-old prophecy was coming to pass. So he let Loki go, believing that he would not survive the fall."
"But he did," Jane brought herself to say.
"He did," agreed Thor, sighing heavily. "I wish I could rejoice that my brother's alive. Instead, I must be constantly on alert for his next treachery. And if he's taken a mate, then we must assume that they together will threaten the throne of Asgard. This woman must be found and taken prisoner."
Jane covered her face with her hands. She hadn't been recruited to overthrow Odin, but what were the chances anyone in Asgard would believe that? And what would they think about a baby? She couldn't imagine it would be good. Jane tried to imagine breaking the news to Thor. A chuckle snuck past her black mood. To put it indelicately, Thor would crap a brick.
Ah. How could she have been so—
"No," she said aloud, startling herself. More quietly, she repeated, "No." Jane had spent the last two days scrutinizing and rehashing every single second she could recall spending in Kai's presence. She had forced herself to see the situation from the point of view of an outsider, and she had torn herself apart with castigation and recrimination.
But no one but herself had gone through exactly what she had experienced. Others had been affected by the Destroyer, to be sure. But no one else had dreamed her dreams. Kai had come to her not only as not-Loki, but as a savior. No one else had known the kindness he'd shown, turned now to utter cruelty.
She had done what she had done with good intentions, even if no one ever believed that of her. Enough was enough. Jane would not continue to torture herself by second-guessing every decision she'd made since kindergarten. Whatever became of her, the time for self-pity had passed. She had allowed herself to wallow in misery for more than a day, and it was soul-destroying.
Pale sunlight, unwelcome, snuck through whatever narrow gaps it could find. A soft knock sounded at the door. She made no effort to answer it. Whoever it was would go away, just as they had the last seven times. She felt raw, exposed, and wasn't ready to deal with other people yet.
Something tickled her wrist, and she absently scratched it. "Ow!" The brand mark flared, burning and throbbing. Jane stared at it. Again her belly fluttered. She sighed and looked around for the pack of crackers she'd snagged sometime yesterday. Twitch. Jane froze. That wasn't from hunger. Twitch. Could it be…?
She'd counted the weeks yesterday while staring balefully at the cheap plastic seams in the ceiling of her trailer. October 20. That was the day her world had ended. Twitch.
And a new life began, whispered a traitorous voice in her head. October 20 was about ten weeks ago, so she was supposed to be about twelve weeks pregnant. Way too early to feel a baby move. Well, too early for a human baby, anyway. Who knew what this thing inside of her was?
Twitch. Flutter. Her wrist didn't hurt anymore, but the mark was definitely warmer than the rest of her skin. New life, whispered the voice in her heart. Mine, it said. It wasn't a thing inside of her, it was a baby. Her baby. As it had in the desert, a wave of protective resolve washed over her. She hadn't asked for this and only dreaded where it would take her, but she would do whatever it took to keep her baby safe.
Her phone chimed. Jane ignored it, too. She leaned back against the pillows and tentatively slid her hands to her abdomen. A slight bump swelled between her hips. "Hi," she whispered. "I'm Jane." She rolled her eyes, feeling stupid. "Um, actually, I guess I'm Mother. No. Mommy? How about Mama? Okay, I'm Mama. Who are you, little one? What should we call you? Half-and-half?"
She chuckled, again feeling silly, but determined to press on. Life as she knew it was being dismantled, and she was smart enough to know the worst was probably yet to come. But here, here inside of her, was a tiny oasis where life was being built. She would honor that.
"I don't want to call you 'it' for six more months. Or however long it's going to take you to want to be born. You might as well know that I don't have any idea what to expect from you. Your"—here Jane faltered a bit—"father was a bit different from me."
"There are no men like me…"
Tall, dark, beautiful, strong, brilliant. Jane closed her eyes against the onslaught of memories, then pushed back. Dangerous. Manipulative. Deceitful. Cruel. She shook her head and sat up.
"Look, you're too young now, but when you're older, I'll tell you the story of how your father and I got together. It's complicated...really complicated. He's not in our lives anymore, but, you know, that's okay. I don't think it's good for you if I badmouth him, so I probably won't say much about him. Except that I hope you get your height from him and not me. Anyway. 'Nuff said, okay?
"So, what should I call you? Peanut? The blob? Sprout? How about...um...Alie? Short for alien? It'll be our little joke."
And evidently Alie was hungry. Jane spied the cracker wrapper. On the floor. Empty. She swore, then apologized.
Her phone chimed again. With an exasperated sigh, she picked it up, scanning the messages, all from Darcy. Most of them were along the line of "Are you okay? You're scaring me." One said:
Darcy: Thor's rly wondring about u. I told him u were freaked re Loki. Then I said u had lady probs. That shut him up. lol
The latest one had this message:
Darcy: Merry Christmas, boss lady! Isabel's cooking dinner. Gotta come out sometime. No business talk. Promise.
Christmas. She had completely forgotten. Today was Christmas Day. Crap.
oooOOOooo
"You outdid yourself, Isabel." Darcy leaned back and patted her full tummy. "Thank you. I've never had Mexican Christmas food before."
The early afternoon sun peeked in the tall windows of the former service station, lending a much-needed uplifting atmosphere. A familiar carol played quietly in the background; Isabel had brought her favorite CDs to share. It was an odd interlude of peace, probably the eye of the hurricane, but Darcy was soaking it in. Jane also looked like she was managing to enjoy herself. She had eaten two good-sized helpings of Isabel's bacalao and romeritos.
Isabel beamed. "It was my pleasure. This was just a sampling of what a real feast should be, but I didn't want to overwhelm you gringos." She pushed back from the table and reached for a plate, but Thor laid a hand on her arm.
"We'll clean up. You've worked hard enough."
The older woman shook her head, then sat down. "My, my, how you've changed, Thunderboy."
Thor grinned, then gathered dishes while Darcy headed to make coffee. Isabel may have made a south-of-the-border dinner, but she'd baked them a north-of-the-border apple pie for dessert.
Jane picked up her own empty plate. "Thank you, Isabel." She stood to help clear the table. "This was a treat. But how were you able to join us for Christmas? What about your family?"
"My son had to work today, so we agreed to celebrate tomorrow. The construction workers are home for the holidays and no one else in Puente Antiguo eats at a restaurant on Christmas, so I would have been alone anyway. I'd much rather be with you motley crew."
Darcy looked up from her task. "Mötley Crüe? Are they still around?"
Thor frowned. "I don't get that reference." The three women laughed. "Don't worry about it," Darcy said.
Jane finished stacking the dirty dishes in the sink, then carried the cream and sugar to the table. She sat down, then said, "I confess that I don't have gifts for any of you. To be honest, I forgot Christmas this year. Darcy, why are you here instead of with your family?"
Darcy shrugged as she set coffee mugs next to the creamer. "I was needed here more than there." The conversation with her parents had been difficult. She couldn't tell them the truth, and her fake story fell flat, so of course they were hurt and couldn't understand why she wasn't coming home. But there was no way she was leaving Jane in such terrible condition. "It's all good."
"Well, you're going home this week." Jane sounded terribly authoritative, and Darcy cocked her eyebrow quizzically at her. Jane merely frowned sternly. "You need a break."
Darcy said, "We'll talk later," then busied herself pouring coffee while Isabel served pieces of pie. "Thor," said Isabel, "what important holidays do you celebrate on Asgard?"
The big man hmmm'd while he politely finished chewing a bite of pie. "We celebrate a holiday similar to your Christmas, but that's not my favorite."
"What is, then?"
"The start of bilgesnipe hunting season."
Isabel laughed, then coughed; she had just taken a drink of coffee. "Do tell, sir."
Thor settled in his chair and crossed his legs. "Well," he began, "at the start of bilgesnipe season we dress in fancy dress and have a parade through the city. Prizes are awarded for the best costumes: the most realistic, the bloodiest, and so on. One year I persuaded Volstagg, Hogun, and Fandral to get into a bilgesnipe costume, into the tail of which, unbeknownst to them, I had placed raw meat..."
The pie was devoured and two pots of coffee consumed while the god of Thunder regaled them with stories of outlandish adventures and incredible exploits. Jane had relaxed somewhat, though Darcy noted that she flinched every time Loki was mentioned. Thor, for his part, seemed to have forgotten the current conflict and trauma starring Loki. He spoke of his brother easily, giving Darcy a rare glimpse into their relationship before it all went to hell.
"...so I said, 'Next time, make sure it's a female before you do that!" They all roared with laughter. Thor shook his head and drained his coffee mug as though it were Asgardian ale.
A companionable silence fell for a few minutes. Isabel sighed. "This has been a lovely day. Thanks for sharing it with me. I'm going to head home now."
They all helped Isabel pack up her food containers. She waved off an offer from Thor to escort her home.
While Darcy was setting up for a Christmas Space Invaders tournament, Jane spoke up. "I realized I do have a Christmas gift for you. I'm not going back to JDEF, so don't even think about trying to persuade me. But I'm ready to go all-in to stop Loki, and I'm going to help you find this woman of his. You're right. She has to be neutralized."
oooOOOooo
A figure stood alone in the darkness, facing away from him. He frowned. It looked like her, like Thor's pet scientist, in her shapeless work clothes. That was impossible. What was she doing here? He took a step toward her and his booted foot scraped a rough surface. Looking down, he saw concrete and understood. She wasn't here; he was there. Electric relief cascaded down his spine, and he drew a deep breath. It was illogical, but what wasn't anymore?
She stood with her face upturned, watching the sky. Always watching the sky. Her hair was caught up in some sort of tangled mess, her arms clasped in front of her. Without turning, she said, "Is that you?"
At the sound of her voice, something inside of him righted that he hadn't realized was wrong. Why should that be? Disoriented, he took a few more steps in her direction. "I don't know. Who were you expecting?"
A strangled laugh choked her reply. "I certainly wasn't expecting you to be you."
Riddles weren't as fun when he wasn't the one telling them. "Would you like me to leave?"
"It's too late now, isn't it?"
He stopped, unsure, perplexed by the bitterness in her voice. "I must confess, I don't understand. You must be waiting for someone else."
"You could say that." She turned to face him.
Her belly swelled unmistakably under her hands. A searing shot of pain lanced his chest. He blinked and shook his head, but she was still there, still pregnant. Thor. That absolute idiot, the unredeemable moron. Had Thor thought this would stop him? That getting Jane with child would protect her? Inspire mercy? Fury swept through him, making his fists clench, then drained away, replaced by confusion. Why should he care? This was Jane, the mousy mortal, inexplicable favorite of Thor.
That nagging pain in his chest thumped his heart. He scowled again. This was just another annoyance. He might not be able to use Jane when he made his triumphal invasion. He growled in frustration. Why couldn't anything make sense? Why wouldn't two plus two equal four anymore?
She still stood, protectively cradling her rounded middle. The moonlight bathed her face in a cool glow. It was bright enough, and he was close enough to note that her brown eyes were the color of a good whiskey. Finally, she threw her hands out in frustration. "Aren't you going to say anything? You're not mad at me, are you? 'Cause God knows I'm pissed at you."
"Why are you angry with me? Wait—never mind." He could think of a number of reasons: destroying Puente Antiguo and the Bifrost, nearly killing Thor, plotting to kill her… "But why would I be angry with you? Thor is the one to blame for attempting to ruin my plans."
"What?" She shook her head. "What does Thor have to do with this? Why do you have to be so—" her voice broke and she swallowed hard. "Why so maddening?"
"It's my basic nature," he replied automatically, watching the tears track down the gentle curve of her cheek, wondering why he wanted to wipe them away. He massaged his shoulder, hoping to take the edge off the pain. "But what do you mean, 'What does Thor have to do with this'? He pointed to her midsection. "Isn't that his baby?"
Her eyes rounded then narrowed to dangerous slits. "Excuse me? You know—"
"Ugh!" Another pain exploded, this one in his midsection. He turned away from Jane.
oooOOOooo
"Get up, worm." A voice like the slow rotting of a carcass slid through his mind. His eyes opened. A Chitauri minion stood over him.
It had been a dream. Just a dream. But what was Jane about to say? And why did it matter so much to him?
"Master wants to see you."
oooOOOooo
Jane bolted upright in bed, frantically searching the trailer for an intruder. No one was there. It had been a dream. Just a dream. But why was she still crying?
It had seemed so real. He had seemed so real. Jane took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. She hated him. Seeing him was like a punch in the gut. So tall, lean, dark, awful, irritating, evil...beautiful.
Tears flowed afresh. She would find a way to stop Loki's plans to conquer her world. But what she couldn't tell anyone, not even Darcy, what she had not admitted to herself until this moment, was that she was still in love with Kai.
