A/N: All characters, places, and events you recognize belong to Marvel, Disney, etc.

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Day 215

Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary

She wasn't there. It was her laboratory: the white board covered in red, green, and blue scrawls, the piles of spiral bound notebooks, the half-dozen empty coffee mugs, even that baggy gray garment slung over the back of a chair. But she wasn't there.

Good, Loki told himself. Good riddance. Jane Foster had turned out to be far more trouble than she was worth.

Day 217

Rough vibrations jostled him awake. Loki blinked several times and rubbed his face, waiting for memory to return.

A battalion of Chitauri foot soldiers was stomping into the training arena. Ah. Of course. Another regiment of mindless drones to tutor in close-range dagger fighting. It was understood that this was his punishment for complaining about the inadequacy of the Chitauri armor. And punishment it was. There was a never-ending supply of these grotesque pawns.

Loki scraped his stringy hair off his neck, mouth twisting in distaste. He had no recollection of the last time he'd been able to bathe, nor could he spare any energy to glamour himself clean. A pickaxe assaulted his head, his legs were marble blocks, and his lungs burned. The hour of sleep he'd just stolen was the most he'd had in days, and he felt no more rested than before. Even massaging his wrist didn't ease the pain.

I need Jane. He scowled. Where did that ridiculous thought come from? He hadn't seen Jane in his dream, which suited him just fine. He wanted to be free of whatever force it was that kept throwing the mortal into his path.

Forcibly shoving all other thoughts from his mind, Loki narrowed his eyes at the Chitauri. What benefit was there in teaching these reptilian creatures the finer points of hand-to-hand combat? Their strength was in those directed-energy weapons they carried and their sheer numbers, not in their finesse. But protesting thus far had yielded only warnings and bruises. Loki stepped forward. He could do this. He would do this.

oooOOOooo

Day 218

Puente Antiguo, New Mexico

Tucking her hair behind her ear, Jane scanned the search results on her email account. Not there. Maybe it was in the trash folder. She clicked and scrolled a few times. Yes!

"Could I help you with anything?" Thor's deep voice at her elbow startled her. How such a large man could move so quietly amazed her. Jane casually minimized the browser window and flashed him a quick smile. After having seen him in all his "God of Thunder" glory, the sight of him in blue jeans and a flannel shirt always amused her. He definitely blended in better, though.

"Um." Think of something, Jane! "Did Erik mention anything to you about collecting soil samples at the Bifrost site?"

The Asgardian shook his head. "No, he didn't."

Jane shrugged. "Oh, it must have slipped his mind. Would you be willing to do that?" She crossed to the storage closet. "All you need," she said, rummaging around, "are these." Jane stepped back, holding three small glass cylinders. She held them out to Thor. "Here."

Thor took them from her, a faintly puzzled look on his face.

She chuckled. "Don't worry. Just go to the Bifrost site—you know where it is—and scoop up dirt from three different places. Erik wants to test it for space metals and so on," she lied. That should buy her a few minutes.

The lab door shut behind him. She opened her email screen and started a new message. Dear Dr. Moore, Please accept my apologies for the delayed response. I would be very interested in discussing your offer...

oooOOOooo

Day 220

Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary

Where is Jane? Where is she?

Just a respite. He just needed a few breaths without the crawling, burning acid in his head. And he needed Jane Foster to be gone, to not exist, but he was slowly awakening to the execrable realization that she was the only thing that soothed his pain. Those dreams—even before he had realized that it was Jane, even when he caught but a glimpse of whiskey strands twirled around her delicate fingers—those dreams were his sole reprieve. No longer.

He was going mad. They never let him sleep and when he slept he dreamed but Jane wasn't there and he told her to get out to leave to never come back or else but when had she ever listened to anything anyone told her to do? Why had he touched her held her body against his own? It was so much worse now why did she have his rune mark burned into her wrist why did she say the child was his why was this thing he despised the thing he craved the most...

Where is she?

oooOOOooo

Day 221

Puente Antiguo, New Mexico

BZZZZZZZ

BZZZZZZZZZZ

The phone danced across the desk. Jane absently answered, eyes glued to the computer screen.

"What the heck, Jane?"

Darcy. Crap. She'd wanted to have this conversation in person. Jane sat back in her office chair and squeezed her eyes shut. "Darce! My favorite person!"

"What is going on?" Darcy's voice was devoid of its usual good cheer.

"Well, I'm reviewing some potential projects at the moment. Boring stuff. All science-y, you know." Jane forced herself to smile, hoping that would lighten the tone of the conversation. "Hey, you're supposed to be on a Jane break for two more days. Whatcha doin' calling me?"

"You're way too smart to play dumb, Jane. Why did I have to find out from the goons at SHIELD that you're jumping ship? Why didn't you talk this over with me first?"

Jane slowly spun in her chair, very glad that Isabel had asked for Thor's help in the restaurant this morning. "It's complicated, Darcy. I don't really want to discuss the particulars over the phone. The truth is, I didn't want you to talk me out of it. I knew you would be upset when you found out. I had hoped to talk to you face to face. Wait—goons from SHIELD contacted you? They have no business—"

Darcy cut her off. "Okay, it wasn't goons, exactly."

"I told Erik I would talk to you!"

"It was Nicholas—Agent Malone. He called to let me know."

Jane's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, did he now? Nicholas? Do tell."

"Stop deflecting. Was it Thor?"

"No, it wasn't Thor." Jane rubbed her brow. Finally, she hesitantly began, "You know how I was having those vivid dreams a few months ago?"

"About the Destroyer?"

"Yes...among other things." Like meteor showers and Dark Sky sites and, oh yeah, a bone-meltingly gorgeous sociopath.

"Are you having nightmares again, woman?" The irritation had fled Darcy's voice, leaving only concern. Jane smiled wanly. She didn't deserve a friend like Darcy.

"Not exactly nightmares, no, but...I just feel like it's time for a change of pace. I need to get away from all things SHIELD for a while."

"Is he...disturbing you?"

The night after the dream about Gulfjellet, she had been determined to stay awake and avoid Loki. It was the perfect timing, as the Quandrantid meteors were at their peak. Thor had readily agreed to her proposed campout on the roof, complete with (separate) sleeping bags and a tent in case it got too cold. For several hours, she oohed and ahhed over the show as her eyes grew heavier and heavier. She finally surrendered, no match for the exhaustion of pregnancy. Good-naturedly bearing Thor's teasing about 'Dr. Foster' falling asleep during a meteor shower, Jane crawled into the tent and cocooned herself in her sleeping bag.

Instantly, she was in her lab. Sunlight shining through the windows cut the air with diamond precision. The whiteboard stood in stark contrast to the dark screens of her devices. Everything was real, too real—the hyper-realistic texture of lucid dreams. A shimmer caught her eye, distorting the light, like heat does. Hide, Jane! She scrambled for the bathroom, hiding behind the open door. An instant later, a flash of green and black reflected off the mirror and confirmed her instincts were correct. Jane held her breath. Loki stayed for a few minutes—she could hear his boots clicking on the concrete floor and a low murmur as he muttered to himself—then was gone in another flash.

An increasingly-agitated Loki intruded on her dreams the next several nights. Jane managed to evade her unlikely bond-mate each time, but eventually her luck would run out. She needed to get away. Whatever happened, she didn't want Darcy or Isabel or even Erik to get caught in the crossfire.

"Jane?"

Darcy's voice snapped her back to the present.

"Ah, never mind. Just come back here so you can pack your stuff and go finish school."

Darcy snorted. "Are you crazy? There's no way I'm letting you leave by yourself. I'm coming with you, dodohead!"

"Look, you can still start the spring semester next week. Coulson already made sure that was cool. I'll need you later. In the summer, you know? After graduation. That'll be about nine months since I had to go to JDEF. You know they say the worst post-trauma stuff hits you after nine months. We'll really need you then."

"Nine? I've always heard six."

Jane just waited. Then Darcy said, "Oh. Nine months. Oh, no, you're right, it's nine. My bad. So whatcha gonna be doing?" Back to her old self.

"Let's just talk about it when you get here, okay? The flight's already paid for. How are your parents? What color is your mom's hair this month?"

Darcy didn't fight Jane's redirection of the conversation, and the two women chatted for a few minutes before saying their goodbyes.

oooOOOooo

Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary

"I won't do it anymore." Loki spoke calmly. Or at least he thought he did. It was hard to be certain through the unbearable ringing in his ears.

The figure in front of him stopped and turned sharply. It made some noises. The noises sounded angry.

Loki shrugged, his leather-clad shoulders creaking. "They cannot learn these skills. It's an utter waste of my time. But you are aware of that. That was your purpose, was it not? To waste my time and theirs. To undermine the mission."

He saw no fist, no weapon, but a blow struck him on the side of the head, then another. The pain was welcome. It was sharper than the constant ache, and so, perversely, brought him relief. The merciless black rock under his feet rushed to meet him.

oooOOOooo

Day 222

Puente Antiguo, New Mexico

A pile of spiral notebooks tilted drunkenly next to an open cardboard box. Cords and various metal rods spilled out of another box. Pens and paperclips littered the surface of the work table. The detritus of a genius scientist. Thor smiled, watching from his position on the couch, where he had the menial job of sorting out good markers from the dried-out ones. Said scientist was hunched over her laptop, fingers flying over the keys. He couldn't see what she was working on, but it wouldn't have mattered. It would have been utterly incomprehensible to him, anyway. Jane's brown hair was pulled back into some sort of rat's nest at the nape of her neck, a spare pen stuck into the mess. Marker was smudged on the side of her cheek. She wore a too-big work shirt which completely obscured her form.

She was beautiful.

He should tell her that. That wouldn't be breaking his promise, would it? A friend could tell another friend that she was beautiful. That he thought of little else all day long. That being near her and not being able to sweep her up in his arms was torture. That he longed to kiss her until she forgot her own name.

Eh, probably a bit too much for a friend.

But he should say something. Maybe she wondered if he was still interested. He wanted her to know that he respected this temporary friend-barrier, but that he was definitely waiting for her. Yes. That was useful information, and Jane loved information.

"Jane?" Her name came out a little louder than he expected.

"Yes, Thor?" She scribbled something into a small notebook, then clicked to another screen.

"Do you have a moment?" He cleared his throat. "Could I speak with you?"

"Now?" she asked, her back still to him.

"When would be a better time? You've been glued to your computer for days, giving me unnecessary tasks to complete, hiding in your trailer come evening."

Jane paused, shoulders hunched, hand frozen on the mouse. Thor continued, "I'm not dull-witted, Jane. Something is happening, and I'd like to know what it is. We're friends, remember? And I...I care very deeply for you."

Her shoulders relaxed, and she heaved a deep sigh before turning her office chair to face him. "You're right, Thor. We do need to talk. But not here. Let me grab my coat."

oooOOOooo

A light dusting of snow had fallen overnight, whitewashing Puente Antiguo. Jane's smile twisted. Funny how everything could look so different with the slightest shift of perspective.

They strolled quietly through the streets, heading away from her lab. Thor considerately slowed his pace to match hers. At the Bifrost site, Jane mindlessly toed the markings. Thor stared at the ground.

"I'm sorry this is so difficult," Jane offered.

Thor looked at her. "Which part?"

"All of it. This. Us. Life. I'm sorry you can't just go home. I'm sorry you have to deal with this mess."

"I'm not." He moved to stand directly in front of her, her entire field of vision taken up by his plaid-covered chest. "It gives me a reason to stay here, to stay near you."

"Thor," Jane started.

The Asgardian prince raised his hand. "I know, I know. I haven't forgotten my promise to you. But you need to know the truth. Jane, I—"

"Thor, don't. Please don't." Jane bowed her head. Why had she thought coming out here was going to make this any easier? Now it was awkward and she was freezing. "You deserve to know the truth, too," she half-lied. "I haven't been completely honest with you. I'm leaving Puente Antiguo soon, and there's some stuff you need to know before I go."

She risked a glance at him. He had a guarded expression.

"Where are you going, Jane?"

"I'll get to that. Just—just let me get this out, okay? And you can't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you. Promise?"

Thor nodded, his brow deepening into a scowl. A lock of his golden blond hair fell over his shoulder.

"Remember when you asked me if there was another man? That wasn't a total lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, either."

"I'm not fond of the word games."

"It'll make sense in a bit. When you left, when the Bifrost whisked you away to Asgard, I didn't hear anything from you."

Thor made a protesting sound, and Jane laid her hand on his rock-hard chest. "I know why now, and it's okay now, but the fact is then I had no idea if you were alive or dead or whether you even remembered me. It seemed insane to keep waiting when I had no evidence you would return."

His frown eased, and she let her hand drop. "A few weeks before Odin sent you back down here, a man from my past came back into my life." Carefully, carefully. "We had previously parted on bad terms"—there was an understatement—"but this time I saw a different side of him. He advised me on the Tesseract project and helped me get over the terrible nightmares I was having. I started to think that he and I had a future together." She took a deep breath. "And then one night, we—"

Thor interrupted, shaking his head. "Erik said nothing about a man in your life. Nor has Darcy."

"Erik doesn't know. And Darcy would never tell."

"Where is he now?"

"I'm not done with my story. We spent one night together, and I thought he was the man of my dreams. But I woke up the next morning and he was gone."

Thor grabbed her arm. "Who is this man? I will find him and I will—"

"Thor! Stop it! I need you to listen to me. I woke up the next morning; he was gone; you were there; I was taken to JDEF. Life got super crazy. You asked me if there was anyone else. There wasn't, but I sure wasn't ready to jump into another relationship."

His grip on her arm gentled, became a caress. "And now?" The hope in his eyes sent a dagger through her heart.

"Now comes the really hard part. A couple of weeks ago, I found out..." Tears welled up in her eyes, catching her off guard.

Thor sweetly kissed her forehead. "It's okay, Jane."

"No, you're making it worse. Stop being so nice," she snuffled through her tears. "I'm pregnant."

He chuckled and stepped back, ducking his head to make eye contact with her. "What did you say? It sounded like you said 'I'm pregnant.'"

Jane forced herself to look him in the eye. "I did. I'm pregnant, Thor. With...that guy's...child."

His smile evaporated and pain shadowed his eyes for the second before he closed them. Ugh. A cold lump sat in her belly. She didn't feel the way about him that she used to, but she didn't relish hurting him. How much worse would it be if she told him the whole truth? Thor shook his head once, opened his eyes, and squared his shoulders. Jane braced herself.

"We'll say it's my child."

She stumbled back a step, stunned. That was one response she'd not anticipated. It twisted the knife in her heart another half-turn. More tears spilled down her face. The cold winter wind numbed her cheeks.

"Oh. Thor, you're a really wonderful person, you know that? I didn't expect...no, we can't do that."

He nudged her chin so she met his eyes again. "Why not? Everyone already thinks we're a couple. We could get married in a quiet ceremony. I'll protect you and the baby."

It would have been easier if he'd gotten angry at her. She could have steeled her heart against him and walked away. But this compassion left her defenseless. Was this the answer? Should she say yes? Maybe he would never have to know the truth. Maybe no one would ever know.

Suddenly, a searing pain ripped through her left arm. The rune bond mark burned like it was freshly branded. Jane whimpered, her knees buckling.

"Jane!" Thor caught her elbow and held her up.

"Sorry, I'm sorry. Ahh, I'm sorry. This is such a disaster." Deep breath. "Thor, we can't. As soon as we announce that we're expecting a baby, SHIELD will be salivating. They're going to want to do all sorts of tests on us and they'll figure out the baby can't be yours."

"We won't let them do that."

"If we refuse, that will look suspicious, too. I'm a scientist! I should want to know as much as possible about an interspecies baby. I won't drag you into this."

"I'll take you to Asgard, away from SHIELD."

She laughed, an empty, bitter sound. "Where I will be a goat at a banquet table? I can't imagine being welcome there."

Thor blinked and shook her slightly. "A goat at a banquet table? Where did you hear that? Who said that to you?"

Uh-oh. "It's just how I imagine it would be for me compared to all you perfect Aesir. Thank you for your amazing offer. I'll always be grateful. But I have to say no."

"Then who is the father?" Thor drew himself up to his full height, eyes flashing. "I will track him down and make him pay."

"I can't tell you that. This man—the father—is known to SHIELD. He's had dealings with them before. I don't want Erik or anyone else to know that I was so stupid. I don't want them to know that I'm pregnant at all."

Narrowing his eyes, Thor slowly backed away from her and crossed his arms over his chest. "I see."

Jane's heart pounded. Had she given too much away?

"This is a man from your past. He's had dealings with SHIELD. You want to keep this a deep secret."

Now her heart stopped entirely.

"It's Donald Blake, isn't it?"

"What!"

"Don't be angry, Jane. Erik Selvig told me about your short marriage the night we were out drinking together. He hates Donald. As do I now."

Poor Donald. Thanks for being a scapegoat. Jane looked away. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"All right. But if Donald Blake ever crosses my path..."

Sorry in advance, Don.

"I don't want you to hurt anyone. I told you all this because of our history and because I need you to help me keep SHIELD off my back. I can't go back to JDEF. The pregnancy will become obvious before too long, and I don't think working around the Tesseract is a healthy environment for a developing baby. In a few days I start a research fellowship in another state. It'll be a clean start. Erik already knows about the new job, but he can't know about anything else. Will you help me?"

Thor gathered her into his arms, chastely resting his chin on her head. "I am your friend."

Those darn eyes wouldn't stop leaking.