A/N: Hooray for the long weekend giving me extra time to write!
Chapter 24: Just Acting
"Ever since you came here, my mind has been consumed by you," Azusa said. "I thought of you even when you weren't here, but now that you're right in front of me…all I think about is you. I don't ever want to leave your side."
"Of course," Ema said hesitantly. "Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?"
"No, you're misunderstanding my feelings," Azusa said, voice pained and desperate. "It's more than that. It's not just a desire to guard you, it's a desire for you."
"Excellent!" Director Agota called. "Let's take a short break."
"Whew, that was intense," Ema said as she and Azusa stepped out of the recording booth to get a drink. The atmosphere in the small space had felt heavy, but that happened sometimes when they were recording. It always made Ema happy because it was a sign that the emotions they were conveying were real.
"Yes," Azusa agreed. "It's just a dream sequence, but I think it's the most dramatic interaction between the guards and the princess so far in the anime."
"I think the dream sequences are fun," Ema said. "It's a nice way for the audience to get inside the guards' heads and see their true feelings. You can tell that they're dedicated to their duty to protect and aid the princess, and that they're grateful to her for leaving her home to help their world, but other than that they're pretty stoic."
"It's an introspective look you often don't get to see for stoic characters," Azusa said. "Writers and directors tend to leave those characters as mysterious. It makes sense, though. Both the guards were chosen as toddlers and raised to protect this princess. They've spent their whole lives preparing to serve her when she arrives, and when she does she's everything they were promised she would be. Although they didn't know it, I think both guards were half in love with the princess before she ever arrived."
Ema nodded. It didn't matter that these were just anime characters. Playing them, they had almost become real people to Ema. She loved them and felt for them. "I don't think either guard will ever admit their feelings in real life. They're too dedicated to their duty and know the princess wants to return home if she can after they defeat the darkness. It's fun to be able to see their real feelings in their dreams since otherwise it would probably never be in the show."
"All right, you two," Director Agota called cheerfully. "We're ready for the next part." He waited for Azusa and Ema to reenter the recording booth before continuing his direction. "I've been debating up to this point whether to have you both kiss your hands for the kissing scene, or just have you two do it. I've decided it will be more dramatic and realistic if we use the sound of you two kissing. Then I can make sure it perfectly matches the scene."
Ema blinked before a feeling of panic rose. No one said anything about kissing someone when she was offered the role of the princess. This was voice acting. Since when did voice acting include kissing people? How could she not have considered how the kissing scene would play out when she'd read the script? Somehow, she'd assumed they would just use stock kissing noises or make them some other way. After all, it wasn't like they had to walk for the sound of their footsteps in the show. The sound department was responsible for that.
Azusa must have seen the panicked look in her eyes. "It's all right," he told her. "It's just acting. Since this is Veeto's dream, just focus on how Veeto feels and how he would want the princess to respond to him."
Ema nodded, sure her eyes were still too wide, but Azusa was right. Ema loved these characters and wanted to portray them to the best of her ability. As Ema had just been saying, this scene was probably the only time the guard Veeto would have to express his feelings for the princess in the show. She wanted the audience to understand how much Veeto adored the princess and wanted her to return his feelings. It would make them love and feel for Veeto all the more when they saw him holding his feelings back for the sake of Princess Neena.
Besides, it was just acting. The same as when Ema cried or was happy as Neena. And at least she wouldn't be kissing a stranger. Azusa was her friend and they were both working professionally. This was a team effort to make the anime the best it could be. Plus, it wasn't like this was Ema' first kiss or anything. There was no reason for her to be shy about it.
"Right," she said again, nodding more firmly this time.
"Okay, let's take it from Veeto's last line," Director Agota said.
Despite Ema's dedication to doing this right, her heart still pounded as she turned toward Azusa.
"It's not just a desire to guard you," Azusa said, his voice thick with emotion, "it's a desire for you."
Ema gasped Veeto's name as she was supposed to, and then Azusa's lips were on hers. Automatically, her hands went to Azusa's shoulders. She hoped he didn't mind, but kissing someone while keeping her hands at her sides felt too awkward.
Azusa pulled back and Ema lowered her arms. Before Azusa could say his next line, Director Agota's voice came over the speaker. Actually, technically his sigh came over before his voice. "No good, you two. I know it's awkward the first time you kiss as two characters, but you must not think of yourselves as Azusa and Ema. You must think of yourselves as Veeto and Neena inside Veeto's dream showcasing the deepest thoughts of his heart. Don't forget that we tested out the chemistry between you before Ema was offered the role to make sure we could make the audience believe you have deep feelings for each other. Why don't you two practice for a bit before we try that scene again? Role play as though you were the characters. Also," he leaned closer to the mike for emphasis, "the kiss was too short. Veeto wouldn't be in a rush at his first opportunity to finally kiss the princess."
Ema flushed, both embarrassed that they'd have to keep kissing, and that she had let Azusa and the director down. Surely, it was her fault since Azusa had done this before and was a professional. As Ema thought that, she realized she hadn't been keeping in her mind what Neena, or Veeto's version of Neena, would be thinking inside Veeto's dream. She had just been thinking that she needed to kiss Azusa.
"Sorry, Azusa," she said quietly.
"It's okay," Azusa assured her. "It wasn't just your fault." He smiled a little. "As the director said, it usually hard the first time. And, I've never done a scene like this with a childhood friend before."
"I want to get inside Veeto's head more," Ema told Azusa. "I think in his mind, Princess Neena is the most pure and good person in the world, so she would be surprised by the kiss, but when Veeto expresses that he's concerned he overstepped his bounds, Neena will kiss him to let him know she returns his feelings, since that's what Veeto would want the most."
"Yes." Azusa nodded. "That's how I see Veeto's feelings exactly. He feels that as the princess' guard, it's not appropriate for him to have these feelings, so he hides them. But if he were honest with himself, he'd admit these feelings are precious to him and the princess feeling the same for him might mean more to him than even saving his world from the darkness. However, because of how duty bound he is, he would never admit this even to himself. It's why we can only see his real feelings in his dream."
"That's why it's so important to do this scene right," Ema said earnestly. "It's Veeto's only chance to show his real feelings to the audience."
Azusa smiled. "Exactly. Are you ready to try again?"
Ema nodded, then paused. "Do you mind if I put my hands on you like I did before? I don't think I can make the kiss believable if I don't."
"Do whatever you need to," Azusa said, to Ema's relief. "It will probably help me if I do the same. In a case like this, we need to act with our bodies as well as our sounds, even if the audience won't see it." That relieved Ema even more to know it wasn't just her.
The look in Azusa's eyes changed and Ema knew he was roleplaying Veeto now. "Princess," he sighed, cupping Ema's cheek. "We see each other every day, but I can never be honest with you."
"But you're my trusted guard," Ema said, holding her hands against her chest and taking a step toward him. "I always want you to be honest with me."
Azusa's face twitched in a pained expression. "You wouldn't say that if you knew," he said, bringing his face closer to Ema's. "You wouldn't say that if you knew how I truly felt, what I truly, in my selfish, hidden heart, wish for."
"You can't say that without speaking to me," Ema said, raising her head toward Azusa's. "You can't say you know how I'll react without telling me what you wish to say. That's not fair."
"Neena," Azusa breathed before closing the short gap between them. Ema made a surprised mewling sound, as Princess Neena would if one of the guards suddenly kissed her, but her hands went to his hair. Ema's heart was still racing, but less from embarrassment this time.
Azusa deepened the kiss and Ema pushed herself more closely against him. He pulled back just enough to say, "You see? I'm terrible. All this time I've been protecting you, I've wanted you. I can barely look at you without my heart burning with love for you, with desire for you."
"Veeto," Ema said, eyes compassionate as she ran her hands through Azusa's hair to pull him back down to her. "Don't you know how much you mean to me? How much your care and compassion has helped me? I would be lost without you." She paused, her lips a breath away from Azusa's. "I don't want you to ever leave my side." And then she kissed him.
Azusa tightened his arms around Ema, Veeto feeling free to do as he wished now that the princess had given him permission to kiss her.
Ema's heart felt lighter when they pulled back that time, stepping away from each other. Even she had been able to tell that that time was much better.
"Good!" Director Agota complimented. "I loved the ad lib 'I would be lost without you', Ema. We'll add that into the script. Those are just the words Veeto would want to hear. Practice a couple more times, and then we'll run the scene for real."
Ema smiled as she turned back to Azusa, now confident the two of them could properly play the role of Veeto and Neena kissing and do this scene the justice it deserved.
~.~
Ema was flying high when she arrived home. Director Agota had been thrilled with Ema and Azusa's final performance of the scene, and so was she. It was also exciting that Agota had decided to add in a line Ema had used when she and Azusa had been role playing. The kissing scene was the biggest challenge Ema had encountered so far in voice acting and she was pleased she had conquered it.
At least, she was until she got home and saw Tsubaki sitting at the table. In that moment, she realized she'd have to do a mirror of the scene she'd done with Azusa with Tsubaki. Except…she'd already done it with Azusa, so she would be better right away, wouldn't she?
Ema bit her lip as she stared at the back of Tsubaki's head. She had the feeling it wouldn't work that way. She had become comfortable with kissing Azusa while they spent all that time practicing in the recording booth, but she was pretty sure that kissing Tsubaki would be different simply because he was a different person. After one day, Ema didn't have so much experience with acting that she could simply kiss anyone and make it seem real, make the emotion something that would touch the audience's heart.
She did not want to disappoint Agota again the way she and Azusa had today. He'd seemed so disappointed that the chemistry he'd felt between Ema and Azusa during Ema's audition hadn't immediately translated into passion in their kiss. Ema didn't want to disappoint him the same way with her and Tsubaki's scene, which they were supposed to film in two days.
"Tsubaki?" Ema said hesitantly as she approached the table.
"Ema!" He exclaimed, his eyes lighting up when he saw her. "How was work today? You and Azusa filmed the dream sequence, right?"
"Work was good," Ema said. "Well, it was good in the end. Great, actually, but we struggled for a bit."
"Yeah?" Tsubaki said, turning toward Ema. "What with?"
"Well, with properly expressing Princess Neena's and Veeto's emotions for the scene. Like I said, it was great in the end. Director Agota was very happy with how things turned out, and so was I, but…I was wondering if maybe you and I could practice beforehand so we don't run into the same problems Azusa and I did. Do you have some time right now?" Ema felt a little embarrassed asking, but figured Tsubaki wouldn't mind. He was a professional, after all, so practicing a kissing scene shouldn't bother him. They had practiced other lines at home for the anime before.
"Sure," Tsubaki agreed. "I was just going over lines for another anime I'm doing, but we can work on the dream scene right now. Did you want to practice in the upper living room?"
Ema's face burned as she shook her head. Acting or not, she didn't think she could properly focus on the role if any of the other Asahina brothers saw them kissing. "Can we practice in your room?"
"Okay," Tsubaki agreed with a shrug, standing. "I guess the others should be getting home from work soon and would interrupt us. Let's go."
~.~
"So, where did you want to start from?" Tsubaki asked once they were in his room and had their scripts. "You can sit down too," he said, patting the space on the bed next to him.
"Um, I think that might make it a little hard to practice," she said. She could feel that her face was flaming red and she wished it would stop. She had gotten over her embarrassment with Azusa while they were recording. Why did she have to feel awkward all over again with Tsubaki? If anything, she was even closer with him than Azusa.
"Hard to practice what?" Tsubaki asked, raising an eyebrow. "You've sat while we've practiced before. Do you feel you deliver your lines better if you're standing?"
Ema shook her head. "Um, Director Agota wants the kissing in the dream sequences to be real kissing. That's why Azusa and I struggled. We were both a little awkward and I think the director was really disappointed. That's why I wanted to get the awkwardness out of the way with us, so when we actually do it, we'll already be good and the director will be pleased."
Tsubaki's eyes widened and he looked down at the script. "Right. The kissing. I hadn't even thought about how that would be handled. The last time I did a series under him where there was a kissing scene, he just had me kiss my hand."
"He said that he debated having us do that," Ema explained. "But in the end decided the scene would be better if we actually kissed."
"So, you and Azusa have already kissed, right? Since you finished the scene today?"
"It was just acting," Ema blurted out, then felt stupid. Of course, Tsubaki knew it was just acting. She put a hand to her head. "Sorry. This has me a little frazzled. I wasn't expecting for something like this to happen when I said yes to doing the anime."
"Don't worry about," Tsubaki assured her, standing. "Plenty of voice actors have embarrassing stories to tell about having to kiss their costars, and it sounds like you and Azusa got everything worked out. We'll get this down and blow Director Agota away with our performance."
"Okay!" Ema said, grateful and cheerful that Tsubaki was okay with them practicing the scene. "We can practice the scene with the scripted lines first, but if that feels stilted, maybe we can try what Director Agota had Azusa and I do. He had us role play our characters to practice the kissing scene, and that really helped Azusa and I to get into character."
"Sounds like a plan," Tsubaki said.
~.~
Azusa was in the recording studio two days later to watch Ema and Tsubaki as they recorded the scene. Ema had told Azusa that they'd practiced beforehand in the hope of not running into the same problems she and Azusa had. Azusa didn't have any lines to record for this anime today, but he was curious to see the results of Ema and Tsubaki's practice.
"Sometimes it's painful to be by your side every day," Tsubaki as Zeeto said. "But there isn't anywhere else I would rather be."
"Painful?" Ema asked, her voice tinged with hurt. "You find it painful to be around me? Is it because I'm not of your world? Because I'm not your princess?"
"No!" Tsubaki exclaimed, taking Ema's hands in his and staring into her eyes. Azusa was surprised since it seemed a little early in the scene for physical contact. "You are my princess. Mine and no one else's." The pause that followed was heavy. Tsubaki hung his head. "Except, you're not, and that's exactly why it's painful. I have no right to call you my princess. You belong to another realm, and to the people you came here to save. I have no right to think of you in such a way when I come from such a lowly station."
"Lowly?" Ema asked, freeing one of her hands to cup Tsubaki's cheek. "How can you use that word when you mean so much to me? You above everyone have been by my side from the moment I came here and supported me through it all." Ema bit her lip and her cheeks flushed.
Azusa found his heart pounding. Ema was fully playing the role of Princess Neena, but the way she looked right then…Azusa wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her. He mentally shook his head. Watching Ema and Tsubaki play Zeeto and Neena, he was probably just channeling Veeto's feelings.
"I am your princess," Ema said. "And you…are my guard. In this world where I have nothing, I claim you as mine and mine alone."
"I am yours," Tsubaki fervently promised. "For as long as you'll have me." He swept Ema into his arms and kissed her. The force of his lips looked like enough to push Ema back if his arm hadn't been wrapped so tightly against Ema's lower back. Tsubaki pulled back enough for Ema to gasp, before her hand on his face gently guided him back down to her.
Azusa felt his stomach twist into knots, though didn't know why. He wished he had a video of when he and Ema had kissed. Had they looked just as lost in each other? Just as oblivious to the world around them and only able to feel, taste, experience one another? That was how Ema and Tsubaki looked. Like the world could cave around them and they couldn't notice or care.
He suddenly wondered what Ema's and Tsubaki's 'practice' had entailed. Had they even said lines, or had they just kissed? He immediately knew the thought was stupid. He knew how important getting the characters and scene right was to both of them. Of course, they were putting their all into the performance.
When Tsubaki pulled away, Ema made a mewling sound of protest that made Azusa want to push her against the wall and kiss her until she made the sounds against his mouth. Did she always make sounds like that when she was kissing, or was she just doing it for the role of Princess Neena?
He was dragged out of his thoughts when Director Agota yelled, "Perfect! I love it! That passion is what I'm talking about! Going forward, I want that passion to underlie the guards' actions when they interact with the princess. They still don't want to admit their feelings because they believe they're wrong, and they'll still remain as stoic as they can, but I want their composure to slip just a little as they interact with the princess. They can't help showing their love for her in their actions, the tone of their voice, their protectiveness toward her. You're threesome will soon encounter the main protagonist's group and I want both guards to be even more protective of the princess than they've been in the past."
"Right," Tsubaki and Azusa agreed. Part of Azusa was jealous with how happy Agota was with Tsubaki's and Ema's performance, but he knew that wasn't fair. Ema and Tsubaki had practiced beforehand to make sure they got it right for recording. Azusa and Ema hadn't, which was why it had taken them more time to get the scene right during the actual recording. Azusa had no reason to feel jealous.
Except, Tsubaki was holding Ema's hand when they came out of the recording booth. "That went well!" He said happily, squeezing Ema's hand. "Let's all go out to dinner to celebrate."
