Chapter 28: Realization
"Do you any idea how long you've been on the computer for?" Juli asked. His tone clearly stated how unhappy he was with Chi, but she was oblivious.
"Do I ever?" Chi asked, not taking her eyes away from the screen. "I've had almost no time for Fantasia Dawning since I started voicing the anime and 2CatPresident is stronger than me now! I have to catch up to him. I also owe him because I promised him we'd go through the Cave of Thieves together, so that's what we're doing right now. He said he would have been worried that I'd been in a car accident or dropped off the face of the earth since I'd been gone so long, except he knows that I travel and sometimes don't have internet, so then I told him I don't travel anymore and have just been busy."
"You gave out personal information to some strange guy over the internet?!" Juli exclaimed, his fur standing on end. "How could you, Chi?" He ran to Chi's side to stare up at the screen, as though he could somehow undo what Chi had done. "Didn't your father and I do enough to teach you about internet safety?"
"Relax, Juli, all I did was tell him that I don't move around anymore. He doesn't even know I'm in Japan. You know, if you keep worrying all the time, you're going to lose your fur prematurely."
"No, I won't," Juli said, petting his fur defensively. "Now that we live with Louis, he gives me hair treatments and takes good care of it for me."
"Oh, is that it's been so silky lately?" Chi asked, eyes still on the game.
"You noticed?" Juli said, perking up and preening, despite not having a captive audience. "Doesn't it look great?"
"Mmhm," Chi agreed.
Juli deflated upon realizing he still didn't have Chi's attention. Oh well. At least she'd noticed the change in his fur. He could at least be happy about that.
"How long to plan to play for?"
"Until Tsubaki gets back."
Juli narrowed his eyes. "Why? What are you waiting for Tsubaki for? And what if you beat the Thieves Cave thing before then?" He understood that Chi loved gaming, and he was happy that she was enjoying her job, despite how much time it meant she spent with the twins, but couldn't she see how little time she spent with Juli these days? True, they often talked before Ema went to bed and he was grateful for that wolf-free time they had most days, but it would be nice to actually go out with Chi and do something.
"If we beat the Cave of Thieves first, then I need to power up on my own. I told you that 2CatPresident had gotten stronger than me while I've been away from the game. And I'm waiting for Tsubaki to hear the results of his audition today. Didn't you hear that he was trying out for the role of the hero in the anime that inspired him to become a voice actor in the first place? They're redoing the anime and it's all he's talked about all week."
"So, I guess you plan to celebrate when he gets home and go out to dinner or something," Juli said, crossing his arms and pouting.
"Yep," Chi agreed, still oblivious to the state of her constant companion.
~.~
"Well, you're wrong," Azusa said before hanging up his cell phone in a huff.
"Azusa?" Ema's voice said tentatively from behind him. "Is something wrong?"
Azusa glanced at her, then back at the front gates to the mansion, hoping to see Tsubaki. His nerves weren't up to dealing with Ema right then. "No," he said, trying to keep his anger out of his voice. It wasn't Ema's fault that the director of the anime was an idiot. "There was just some confusion at the audition for the anime today."
"What happened?" Ema asked. "Is Tsubaki home yet? I was surprised I hadn't heard from him yet, so I came looking."
"No, Tsubaki's not back yet," Azusa said, knowing he was being abrupt, but unable to help himself. What happened at the anime was a disaster that he refused to accept and he didn't have the patience to deal with anything else at the moment. He'd just gotten off the phone from telling his agent that Tsubaki was right one to play the hero and not him.
"Is Tsubaki not back yet because of the confusion at the audition?" Ema asked, trying to catch Azusa's eye. "Is he still there?"
Again, Azusa had to tamp down on his irritation. It wasn't Ema's fault, but it was difficult not to snap at her when she was a convenient target and he was already on edge around her. She was a threat to his and Tsubaki's relationship, which was why he'd pulled away from her. He didn't want anything to jeopardize relationship with his twin, and then this happened with the stupid anime. The last thing he needed was to combine the anime and Ema, but it appeared she had no plans of going away until he answered her question.
"Yes and no," he sighed. "Yes, Tsubaki isn't here because of the confusion. No, Tsubaki isn't still at the audition. The director chose me to voice the hero and Tsubaki to voice his rival."
Ema looked uncertain. "That doesn't sound like a confusion," she said slowly.
"Of course, it is," Azusa said, finally snapping. "The only one who can play the role of the hero is Tsubaki. The director screwed up in casting me. I didn't try out for the lead role, I read for the rival, which is who I was supposed to be." He shook his head and pulled his phone out. "Since my manager won't do what needs to be done, I'll call the director and refuse the part, then Tsubaki will get it."
He was surprised when Ema laid her hand on his to stop him. "I don't think that decision is up to you," she told him, her eyes clear as she stared up at him.
Azusa glared at her and she flinched, removing her hand. "You don't understand how much Tsubaki loves this anime and how much this role influenced him. Of course, he's the best one for the role."
"Isn't it the job of the director to decide who's best for the role?" Ema asked. "That's why they're the director. They choose which people to hire and where to put them to make the anime the best success they can make it. The director chose you for the lead and Tsubaki for the rival because he feels that's the best way the anime will work. You both have amazing voices, but they're both suited to different roles at different times."
"Don't talk like you understand it just because you've voiced one character," Azusa yelled.
Ema flinched again, but fisted her hands and took a step forward. "The director chooses the lead, not you. Since he's already cast Tsubaki in the role of the rival, he might keep him there even if you refuse the role. And what if Tsubaki did get the role because you refused it? How do you think that would make him feel? Do you think he would feel like he deserved it? Like he was the best one for the role then?"
Azusa was surprised into being quiet. He didn't think he'd ever heard Ema raise her voice.
"I understand that you don't want Tsubaki to be upset or hurt, but what do you think it would do to your relationship for you to hand him a job that was yours? You don't think that would hurt his pride? And aren't you a professional? This is your job, not a hobby. You think my dad wants to go everywhere the TV show sent him? You think he wants to do everything they have him do? No! But it is his job, so he does as he is asked because he is a professional."
"She's right on both accounts, you know," Tsubaki said, making both Ema and Azusa jump.
They turned to see him wearing a coat to ward off the cold night air, his hands stuck in his pockets. "I haven't been wandering around feeling sorry for myself, you know. I've been wandering around trying to figure out how to make you accept the role because I knew you would react like this. I appreciate it, bro, but it's like Ema said. You have an amazing voice and the director chose you for that reason. I want to hear you voice this character. I know you'll do it justice and I'm excited to see what you'll do. And even if I did get the role if you refused it, there would always be a voice in the back of my mind telling me that you were really the one chosen and that I was just second best."
Azusa flushed. He hadn't considered that at all…but Ema had. He was such an idiot. Both for not thinking more about how Tsubaki would feel in this situation and for how he'd been treating Ema. These past couple weeks he'd been afraid of what Ema's presence would do to his and Tsubaki's relationship since they both seemed to be developing feelings for her, and while that might still be a concern, the twins' relationship with each other was clearly important to Ema. If anything happened between the three of them that lead to conflict, Ema's first priority would be to make sure the twins' relationship was okay. Azusa should have known Ema well enough to know that.
"I'm sorry," Azusa said, not sure who he was speaking to.
"It's all right, bro," Tsubaki said, drawing Azusa into a hug. "It'll be great with us playing rivals. We'll do an amazing job and make the remake an even bigger success than the original anime. And I'll be okay, all right?"
"Okay." Azusa nodded, pulling back from his brother. "I'm sorry," he apologized again.
"Don't worry about it," Tsubaki said, smiling and putting his hand on Azusa's shoulder. "But, I'm going to steal Ema and take another walk, okay?"
"Okay," Azusa agreed, his heart constricting, but he knew he had no right to be jealous in that moment, not with what Tsubaki was dealing with and not after how he'd treated Ema. His gaze jumped to her, but her curious and concerned gaze was on Tsubaki. What was she thinking of the conversation she and Azusa had just had? Was she mad that he'd yelled at her? Had she realized before now that he'd been pulling away from her?
He was hoping Ema would look at him so he could apologize to her, but Tsubaki linked his arm through hers and drew her through the gate. If Azusa was lucky, Ema would be as magnanimous as she always was and chalk up his terrible behavior to him just being concerned over Tsubaki. But that didn't mean that he still didn't owe her an apology.
~.~
Ema and Tsubaki walked the streets in silence, Tsubaki's arm through Ema's. Ema didn't have a proper coat on for a walk outside since she'd only gone out to check if Tsubaki was home yet, but Ema said nothing. Though she was sure everything that Tsubaki had said to Azusa was true, that didn't mean Tsubaki still wasn't sad.
"Are you okay, Tsubaki?" Ema finally asked, looking up at him.
He smiled down at her, though it was a sad smile. "I will be," he told her, gripping her arm tighter. "I just wanted a little more time, though I already had enough time all by myself on my walk earlier, so I wanted your company this time."
Suddenly, he leaned down and kissed her head. "You're amazing, you know that?"
"Why?" Ema asked. "What did I do?"
"Said all the things I wanted to say to Azusa. I think it meant more with him hearing it from both of us. If he'd only heard it from just one of us, I don't think he would have believed it." He grinned. "And the fact that we wanted to say the same words means we're on the same wave length. We understand each other. Or, at least, you understand me." He kissed her head again. "I'm so glad you're with us, Ema. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"I'm sure you'd be fine," Ema said, blushing and looking down the street.
"Right," Tsubaki agreed. "We'd be fine, but not great. Who wants to live their life feeling fine? I want to be great. All the time."
"I'm sure you are, Tsubaki," Ema said, amused. "You've always been the liveliest person I know. I can't imagine you ever being anything but great. It's who you are. You don't let anything keep you down for long."
Tsubaki made a noncommittal noise. "It's true that I am who I am no matter what, but there are people you let you be more of yourself, you know? A better version of who you are."
Ema nodded slowly. That was something she'd been lacking when she'd been mostly alone all those years. Being around the Asahinas, who were like family to her…she was definitely able to be more than when she just traveled with her father. She was able to discover more of herself and her talents. Who would have ever thought she could be a voice actor, even if she only did it this once?
"I know what you mean," she said. "Without you, I never would have discovered that I could do something like voice acting. It's been amazing to see that I can work this hard and learn a new skill and overcome challenges with it." She hugged his arm. "I'm so glad I'm with you too, Tsubaki."
He smiled, taking his hand out of his pocket to cover hers. Then his eyes widened. "Your hands are freezing, Ema! I'm sorry." He finally took note of what she was wearing. "Crap, you're not dressed for walking in the cold. I didn't even think of that."
"It's fine," Ema waved off. "I'm glad you brought me with you to keep you company. I don't want you to be alone if you don't want to be alone."
Keeping hold of Ema's hand, Tsubaki tucked it into his pocket. "Come on, I'll buy you some hot chocolate so you can warm up, and then we'll go home."
~.~
The next night, Ema blew out a breath as she stood outside Azusa's room. She needed to clear this up. If there was something she'd done to upset Azusa, she needed to find out what it was and apologize if Azusa would accept it. She was pretty sure that it must have been when they disappointed Director Agota with their kiss. Azusa had seemed okay with it at the time, but it was shortly after that he started treating her differently, and she couldn't think of anything else she might have done that could have upset him.
Who would have thought she'd be standing outside Azusa's door with almost as much reluctance as she stood outside Fuuto's?
She was about to knock when the door opened and she jumped back in surprise. Azusa also looked startled to see her there.
"Sorry, Ema," he apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you." Seeing how close she stood to his door, he stopped. "Were you—did you need something?"
Ema bit her lip. She didn't think it mattered if you were a kid, a teen, or an adult, apologizing was still a hard and scary thing. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Sure," Azusa said, stepping back into his room and holding the door open for Ema.
Azusa closed the door and Ema's words came bursting out. "I'm really sorry that Director Agota got upset with you because of me, Azusa. It was all my fault that the scene didn't work right and—"
"Ema, what are you talking about?" Azusa interrupted. "Why are you apologizing for that? Everything turned out really well. That episode has the highest views and ratings from all the episodes in the anime. Why is that still bothering you?"
"Well if it's not that, then why are you mad at me?" Ema asked, clutching one arm with her opposite hand. She felt so small standing in front of Azusa. She hated feeling like she wasn't enough. It had happened with so many groups she'd tried to break into, but something about her had always been not enough. She was too foreign. She didn't speak the native language well enough. She wasn't into the same things. Feeling like this in Japan, within the Asahina household, was five times worse.
"At first, I thought it was just my imagination that you were upset with me, but it kept happening. What did I do to upset you, Azusa? Whatever it is, I'm sorry."
Azusa closed his eyes, a pained expression coming over his face. "No, Ema, I'm the one who needs to apologize. There were…things going on that confused me and it led to me being rude to you, but the problem was entirely with me and not you. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You've never done anything wrong." He looked into Ema's eyes as he said, "I'm really, really sorry for any hurt I caused you, Ema. I know I was a jerk and I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday when you were just trying to help me and Tsubaki."
Ema didn't know what to say. She didn't understand how him being confused about something would lead to him being rude to her. Of course, people had things happen in their lives that tried them and made them short with the people around them, but Azusa hadn't been short with other people. He'd specified that it had made him rude to her. Why just her? How could it not involve her with that being the case? Was she a convenient target for his anger because he hadn't wanted to hurt anyone in his family and she was the nearest person who wasn't related to him? That didn't sound like Azusa, but what else could it be?
She believed him when he said he regretted being rude to her, but if she'd judged the situation correctly, that Azusa wanted a convenient target for his anger that wasn't family, then it would just happen again. How could she be friends with someone who treated her like that?
"Are we okay, Ema?" Azusa asked. "I've got it worked out now and I promise it won't happen again."
"Sure," Ema said, because nothing else was really acceptable to say in that moment. "I'm going to go to bed now, okay?" She didn't look at Azusa as she headed for the door. Azusa's treatment of her had been painful enough when she believed she might have done something to upset him. But if he had caused her pain over something that really had nothing to do with her…she didn't know what to think of that. Maybe Fuuto wasn't as different from all his brothers as Ema had thought.
"Ema?" Azusa stopped Ema, grabbing her arm as she went past him. "Are you sure you're all right?"
Ema smiled and hoped it was believable. "Sure. I'm just really tired. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Azusa said, looking uncertain and concerned as he released Ema's arm. "Good night, Ema."
"'Night." Ema didn't look back as she left.
A/N: Mwuhahah! I have no idea where the plotline of Azusa resenting Ema's intrusion into his and Tsubaki's relationship came from, but it's fun to do something different. Though misunderstandings that cause hurt feelings drive me crazy. Hopefully, they'll get this cleared up soon!
