Chapter 5: Dinner for two
Hermione had meant every word she had said. She would do whatever she had to in order to regain her memories. Still she sat in silence while they ate dinner. The food Severus had prepared was delicious, then again she supposed he was good with ingredients in general. They both seemed to be in deep thoughts, when in truth Hermione was waiting for him to say something. She wanted to know so many things, but at the same time wasn't sure what to ask for. If he started from the beginning, he would never be able to tell everything detailed enough and she would only get to know his side of the events. Watching his memories in a pensieve would probably take years. She pushed the thought away. Maybe she'd do that later on. For now she had a different strategy in mind.
Pushing her empty plate away from her, she looked at her husband. Ginny was right. He wasn't bad looking, but he also wouldn't be labelled handsome by most people either. His dark eyes were impermeable. They were usually emotionless, but from one second to another they could hold a raging storm, a burning heat or a calm and knowing darkness. When he had still been her Potions Professor she had often seen him angry or annoyed. Now when he looked at her, his eyes were much warmer and gentle. His crooked nose only added to his character as the snarky Potions Master and the long dark hair that framed his face wasn't as sleek anymore. It seemed healthier now. Then again, maybe he just washed it more often. Realizing she was staring at him she blushed again. This had to stop. She had every right to stare at him. They were married after all. But yesterday he had been her nasty Potions Professor and she just couldn't ignore that fact.
Clearing her throat to get his attention, she smiled at him in a polite way.
"Do we have any plans for tomorrow yet?"
Severus put his fork on the empty plate and shook his head.
"I have a few ideas concerning your memory loss but there isn't anything scheduled for us. We can spend the weekend however you wish.", he answered.
"I thought it might be good to start here. We could walk around Hogwarts and you could show me places that might be significant for us. Places that hold special memories, or bad ones.", Hermione suggested.
Severus nodded. "That sounds reasonable. I will think about it. There are definitely places I could show you… Especially in the library." His last words were spoken in such way that it immediately sounded seductively and Hermione had to swallow. Surely he wasn't implying they had had intercourse in the… he was. The subtle smile playing around his lips said it all. These small hints from him confused her to no end, because they excited her while making her feel naïve at the same time. Of course they had had sex. They were expecting a baby. But in her mind she was still a virgin. During school she had always been busy. Homework had been more important than sex and she had never felt as though she had met the right one to be intimate with. Even her relationship with Ron hadn't been that serious. Though she had thought about it, the moment never seemed fitting and there was so much fighting going on. Then back in Hogwarts she had always felt a little bit like an outcast. Being older than most and a war legend it had been difficult for her to find real friends. Only Ginny had been by her side most of the time. Considering that she must have either been intimate with someone mysterious after her last memory or with her former Potions Professor, now husband Severus Snape. She wasn't sure what she preferred. Both directions seemed weird to her. Shaking her head slightly she collected her thoughts again and concentrated on the matter at hand.
"Also, I would like to know a bit more about us and how we spend the days. What is our routine? Maybe we could start in Hogwarts and in time visit more places. I mean, if there's something you can think of."
He nodded.
"Of course. I will make a list. We'll start here tomorrow."
Pleased with his answer Hermione smiled at him. She really wanted to ask him about the sex thing. But she felt awkward discussing such a subject with him. She definitely wasn't ready to even imagine intercourse with him. It would probably be better if she left this for later.
Feeling a bit worn out from all the stress of the day, she wanted to read something to take her mind off her own problems. As if hearing her thoughts Severus turned around to take a look at the clock.
"We usually read something before we head of to bed. But if you would like to retire already that's fine with me.", he said and stood up. With a flick of his wand the remains of their dinner were gone and the table looked clean again.
Hermione bit her lip nervously. Were they going to sleep in the same bed? Would he suggest another solution? Unfortunately the couch didn't look very inviting. She would have to use two or three spells to make it fitting for sleep. Maybe that would do.
"No, I slept so much today. I think reading is a lovely idea."
They went over to the fireplace and Severus picked up a book he had apparently been reading. Hermione stood in front of the shelf unsure what book to take.
"Do you know a book I haven't read yet?", she asked her husband and he immediately was at her side to help her pick one. Taking his time he scanned the shelves, before deciding on a rather thin title.
"You got this a few weeks ago and I think you have not touched it once." He gave her the book and Hermione read the title. The meaning of words. She frowned at that. It looked like a novel. She read novels from time to time, but only if she got enough interesting knowledge out of it.
Sitting down on the sofa she chose the same spot she had sat on before and noticed Severus glancing at her from his armchair.
"That's the place you usually sit on.", he explained and she smiled at him. Apparently her older self and her had the same sitting preferences. Hopefully that also applied to man.
When she didn't say anything else, Severus returned to his book and Hermione's mind wandered of. She had hoped to read a bit as well, but there was so much to think about. What were her friends doing now? She only knew about Ginny and Harry. What about the others? And her parents! Did they even know she was pregnant? Hopefully Severus would answer some questions tomorrow. She was more than ready to learn everything about her new life.
After what felt like only minutes Severus shut his book and put it in the couch table.
"It's late.", he said and stood up. "We should head to bed."
Hermione had been so in thought she hadn't even noticed that the time had gone by so fast. But she had to agree. Her eyes felt heavy again. The book still lay open in her lap, but she hadn't read a single page.
"Yes, you are right." Her voice sounded sleepy. Severus cleared his throat.
"I thought under the circumstances you would probably feel better if I didn't sleep in the same room as you, so I will take the couch.", he explained and Hermione felt herself blush again. She actually felt bad about excluding him from his bed, but she really didn't feel like sharing at the moment. Though he had been nice to her all day, she wouldn't even want him to sleep in the same room.
"Thank you.", she answered, unsure what to do now. Feeling like an idiot she quietly went past him. Grabbing a fresh pair of pyjamas she found in the wardrobe she went straight to the bathroom and got ready for bed. When she came out Severus was already waiting with his sleeping attire in hand. Smiling politely she left the bathroom door open and quickly headed to bed. It didn't take him long to change. When he came out Hermione couldn't help but take a look at him. He wore a long sleeve shirt and a quite normal pair of slacks. All in all a pretty simple outfit, but it showed of how nicely he was actually built.
"Please, wake me in case there is anything wrong or you don't feel well.", he said and waited for her to nod. With a calm Good Night he closed the door behind him and left her to herself.
She had come to accept this room somewhat, but it still felt slightly foreign. Plus there were so many thoughts on her mind that she actually had a hard time falling asleep. It seemed to her that something was missing and she had a vague idea, what it was. Her subconscious apparently recalled being married, because she definitely felt lonely right now. She wanted a source of warmth to cuddle with and feel protected. But her mind wouldn't accept the thought of inviting Severus to sleep in here. Hermione simply didn't feel ready for that. He was her Potions Professor suddenly treating her differently and that was something she had yet to forget.
This fanfiction is actually progressing much slower than I expected.
Finally the first day is done after five chapters. But I think it's necessary to explain Hermiones emotions.
Anyways. Thank you for your kind comments and hello to all the new followers! Have a nice day!
