I own nothing.


Day 264

Sarah's place

Why didn't I stock up on e-books? Jane laid her e-reader on the end table next to the recliner and sighed. She'd been holed up in this place for a month. It felt like a lifetime. She had to keep a low profile. She couldn't make any friends. She couldn't create patterns and habits, so she had to shop at different stores each week and fuel up at different stations. Always using cash. She wasn't likely to run out of that soon, thank God. SHIELD had paid her handsomely. Paid me off is what they did.

She couldn't even visit the same Tim Hortons twice!

And for what? What good was it doing to be here, to be hiding from everyone and everything? She could have just lied about her pregnancy. She could have said there was some guy she met on a random date and, you know, oops, these things happen.

Yeah, right. Until the kid started flying or blowing people up or something. Then there might be a few more questions.

"You're not gonna do that, are you sweetie?" Jane crooned to her belly. She rubbed her hands across her girth and frowned. "Girl, how much bigger are you planning on getting? There's no way I should be this huge at 20 weeks. You know you have to come out of me somehow, right? And if you don't want to start life as an orphan..."

Ugh. What a conversation to have with her unborn daughter. Daughter. Jane chuckled. "I'm not sure Loki meant to spill those beans. But I'm so glad he told me about you."

Should she tell Alie about Loki? Would Alie understand? Would she tell him? Would that just blow up in Jane's face?

She yawned. "What time is it? Time for bed?" Jane clambered out of the recliner and stretched. "Today was kind of an icky day. Rained all day. Think tomorrow'll be sunny?"

Jane double-checked the locks on the doors, turned out the lights and headed to the bathroom. As she was brushing her teeth, she scowled at her reflection. She spit and rinsed, then said, "This hair. I've got to do something about it."

She padded on down the hall to her bedroom, switched on her bedside lamp, and carefully climbed in bed. "Where's my...? Dang it, I left the reader in the living room." She yawned again. "Eh. Never mind."

Jane switched the lamp off, snuggled into her pillows, and patted her belly. "Thanks for giving me someone to talk to."

"You're welcome."

Jane's eyes flew open. The god of mischief was stretched out next to her, arms folded behind his head. "Loki! When did you get here?"

"I just arrived."

She hauled herself to a sitting position. It felt less intimate that way. "So, where were you last night?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I don't believe I need to account for my whereabouts to you."

Jane folded her arms. "That's what I thought. We had a deal, Loki."

"Ah, but we did not have a deal," he said lightly. "You refused to agree to my condition."

"Well, you tried to distract me."

"But if you must know," he continued, ignoring the interruption. "I did not touch you. Except to tap you in a futile attempt to awaken you. On your shoulder," he added helpfully.

She sighed. "Look, it's not that I think you're molesting me in my sleep. It's the principle of the thing. I don't want you lurking about my dreams without my knowledge."

Loki sat up effortlessly. Dumb non-pregnant graceful demigod.

"All right. I'm willing to abide by your wishes in this matter...as ridiculous as they may be."

"Wow. Thanks," Jane said flatly.

"In return, I ask you to abide by my wishes and never return to that...dungeon again."

"Why not?"

"First I need to know that you will cooperate. Then I might explain why."

Jane sighed again. "Loki...you and I, we don't have a lot of trust built up between us. I feel uneasy about agreeing to this when I don't understand why."

"I doubt you could understand," he snapped. "Do not return to that dungeon. Ever. For any reason."

"Loki, I won't agree until I know what I am agreeing to." Jane knew she was pushing him, but she had to set boundaries. She had to insist that he respect her as a person.

He stared at her for a long moment. It was obvious some inner struggle was taking place. Finally, he spit out: "The...being...who is holding me in that dungeon. He knows about you."

Jane let his words sit. "Who is this being? What do you mean that he knows about me?"

Loki scowled. "That doesn't—"

"It doesn't concern me. Yeah, I know that's your opinion, but I disagree. It kind of does concern me."

"Enough!" he snarled. "If you obey me, you aren't in danger."

Well, the cease-fire between them had been nice while it lasted.

"Obey you? Are you kidding me?"

Loki bolted to his feet. Bring it, Jane thought. She was ready for a fight. Instead, Loki squeezed his eyes shut. His chest rose and fell with deep pulls of air. She could practically hear him counting to ten. He opened his eyes and zeroed in on her with laser intensity.

"This is not about anyone infringing on your rights or insulting your race. This is not me being arrogant." Loki growled as he stalked around the bed to her side. "The creatures who inhabit that place are powerful and savage beyond your understanding." He stopped an arm's length from her. "Has there been any moment of our association, Jane, in which I have given you to believe that I enjoy my stay there? I have done my best to keep you away. If you present yourself to them again, it is highly likely that both you and your unborn daughter will be violated in ways you cannot imagine before being torn to shreds by merciless beasts who will laugh while you sob."

Jane's face flushed. Her fingers convulsed. She wanted to slap him, but on what grounds? Her throat ached. She wanted to scream against the derailing of her life, but what good would that do? She threw the covers back and lumbered to her feet. Loki stepped toward her, but she pushed past him and fled to the dark living room. The cheap wall-to-wall carpeting was scratchy under her feet as she paced back and forth. Her fists clenched in her out-of-control hair.

Should I wake myself up? Who is in that place? Is there anything I can do? Should I find a way to tell Thor?

"Jane." Loki loomed in the doorway of the living room.

"What?" she flung at the tall stranger. She couldn't see his face (maybe that was for the best).

"Jane." His voice gentled. "Those weren't idle words I spoke earlier. I need your word that you'll stay away."

She planted her feet in front of him, fists clenched at her sides. She glared at him, half-wishing that looks could kill, hoping her words would wound.

"I'll keep out of your stupid dungeon. But I want to know a few things. Why do you care what happens to me? How did I get roped into this whole mess? Who is holding you in prison? How did you get there? Why doesn't Odin rescue you?"

Loki's face darkened. He straightened to his full, commanding height. One of his looks might actually be able to kill.

"I owe you none of that information, mortal."

"Then I don't want to talk to you. I'm going back to bed. You stay out here."

oooOOOooo

Day 265

Asgard

"Good evening, All-Father."

"Heimdall."

The two Aesir stood shoulder-to-shoulder at the edge of the Rainbow Bridge.

Odin huffed a half-laugh. "After all this time, it still sometimes takes me off guard when you know it is I. There is a certain security in it too, though."

"I'm glad to hear that, All-Father."

They quietly surveyed the cosmos beyond the Realm Eternal.

"I spoke with Frigga." Odin turned to Heimdall. "She did not know about the child."

"No."

"You kept this from her."

The Gatekeeper nodded. "I did."

"Frigga has asked me to stay my hand. I say it is a mother's—grandmother's—weakness. She says the child has done no wrong and does not deserve to die."

Heimdall remained silent.

Odin sighed. "Perhaps she is right."

Again long moments passed as the two powerful men stood in contemplation.

"Redouble your vigilance, Heimdall. Inform me immediately if you see Loki."

"Yes, All-Father."

oooOOOooo

Sarah's place

She was not going to talk to that arrogant alien jerk tonight. She was going to lie in bed with her eyes closed tightly, pretending she was already asleep so she could ignore Loki.

The atmosphere in her bedroom shifted. He's here. Jane held her breath.

No, don't hold your breath, dummy! Breathe normally. Or however you breathe when you're asleep.

Loki fell heavily onto the mattress behind her. How do I pretend to be asleep after that? He's trying to bounce me right out of my bed! Is this revenge for demanding that he stop sneaking in unannounced?

"This isn't quite what I had in mind," Jane snapped, giving up any pretence of sleep.

No answer, just a strange wheezing sound.

Jane clumsily rolled over. Loki lay on his back, one arm clenched around his midsection, the other draped over his eyes. "What did they do to you?" Jane whispered, then flinched when a muted glow instantly filled the room. Sometimes she forgot these were dreams.

Loki lowered his arm and she gasped. A network of cuts and bruises spread across his face. One eye was swollen shut, the other was watery. A slice on his cheek looked inflamed. He looked like one of those PSAs against domestic violence. And that was just his face. His tunic was splotched with dark spots she assumed were blood.

Of greater concern was that wheezing as he labored to complete each inhalation and exhalation. She held still, counting the seconds...forty-three, forty-four, forty-five...waiting to hear his sigh of relief, but instead Loki groaned.

"Loki," she breathed, a mirage of worry shimmering across her mind.

"M'fine," he mumbled. "G'sleep."

"Let me help. What happened?"

The silence stretched out long enough Jane decided he wasn't going to answer. Then he surprised her.

"I...won." He coughed, a feeble wet bark. "He...wanted t'make me..turn. I fought back."

"What can I do?"

"Stay."

oooOOOooo

Day 266

Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility

It wasn't that long ago, really, that he knew nothing of uncertainty. No second thoughts, no misgivings, no self-doubt. Just golden days of laughter, of camaraderie, of adoration, of well-being. Set against a backdrop of the clash of swords, sweat, straining muscles, the creak of leather, blood, fire, friends. And family. Always family. He had thought those days would be endless.

Now, at the Midgardian desert fortress again, Thor was at a loss. He detested this monstrosity of a building. As before, the overabundance of steel and plastic, the pale blue lights everywhere, the lack of warmth or character, made him homesick.

What was he doing here? Erik Selvig, Agent Malone, even Clint Barton—they all had tasks, assignments, roles. "Try to stop Loki if he shows up again, okay?" was the extent of Nick Fury's charge to him.

How was he helping? He was not skilled in the scientific arts. He could not summon the Bifrost and bring reinforcements from Asgard. He knew how to fight, but the enemy wouldn't show itself. And the one thing he knew, the one thing of any importance? He had sworn not to share it.

Some would opine that he shouldn't honor such a foolish oath. On occasion he was one of those people. His tongue was stayed, though, by the belief that telling what he knew would bring no good. What real difference would it make if they knew that Jane Foster was bonded to Loki and was carrying his child? Would it help them find Jane? Would it assist in defending against Loki? It was more likely, he reflected, that they would be demoralized.

He told himself that his personal shame in losing Jane to his brother had nothing to do with his decision.

oooOOOooo

Sarah's place

The air changed.

"I'm in the living room," Jane said quietly. She stood in the middle of the room.

Loki limped to the doorway. His right arm was braced against his abdomen. One eye was still swollen shut and the gash on his cheek looked like it might scar. He didn't look at her.

Jane gestured to the couch. "Will you be comfortable there?"

Loki made his way across the small room. He gingerly lowered himself and closed his eyes.

Jane stood frozen in the middle of the room. Loki slumped exhausted on the couch. His still-rough breathing was the only sound.

Then, without preamble, Loki rasped: "His name is Thanos."

Jane's eyes widened. Play it cool.

In a hoarse, halting voice, Loki continued. "Thor told you...I...fell. I landed in Thanos' territory. On his rock."

He sighed, opened his eyes, and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. Jane waited.

"He had me seized and brought before him. He would have killed me. Perhaps you wish...I had let him." He glanced at her briefly before returning his gaze to the floor.

"I had fallen into the Void, fully expecting to perish. But when I found by some miracle that I was still breathing, I couldn't bear to stop."

Another minute or two passed, punctuated by an occasional cough. Jane found the armchair and sank into it, working to quiet the clamor in her mind, to simply listen, to absorb all that Loki was willing to reveal to her.

"I suppose the only thing that saved my life is that Thanos is mad. He couldn't simply kill me. I was a fresh audience. He had to impress me with his grandeur, his genius...and his quest for universal domination."

He huffed a humorless laugh. "And I, likewise, could not resist impressing him with my own show of grandeur. I intended to show him that I was a force to be reckoned with, that I, the son of both Odin and Laufey, would not bow before him, but would be a partner in his schemes.

"Instead...he demanded that I surrender certain...assets...I possessed. And when I refused, he handed me over to be, ah, tortured. I underestimated him. He stripped me of my magic...not even Odin could have done that. And his underlings set about...reeducating me." Loki's voice dwindled to a whisper.

Loki lifted his head and studied Jane with his one good eye. She met his gaze but held her tongue. A long moment later, he looked away.

"After some time, Thanos offered to restore my powers if I would complete a mission for him. He needed something that was located on the realm of Midgard. He knew...my people... had had dealings there. I accepted this offer. I spent some time in this realm." Here Loki paused. "I was at your laboratory. Upon my return to Thanos' territory, he assigned me a role in his scheme. Eventually, however, I displeased him again. And once again, I'm divested of my powers and subject to...well," he spread his hands to indicate his damaged body.

The hum of dark enveloped them. Jane's throat felt strained from the stress of holding back so many questions. Alie was pushing hard on her side, but she was afraid to break the bizarre spell that had Loki confessing to her.

Loki was quiet for so long Jane wondered if he'd drifted into a deeper sleep. He no doubt needed the rest, but she wouldn't forgive herself if she left this opportunity pass her by. In a barely audible voice, she asked, "Why are you telling me this now?"

Loki stared at the floor. "Those creatures...in that place...have powers you've never conceived of. This is what they can do fairly easily to me. You...would be raped, then ripped apart. And the child—" He broke off the thought and shook his head. "Thanos' plan...appealed to me. Conquering the realms. It calls to some primal instinct in my bones. It's who I am. But now...his scheme...I can't be a part of it. I need your help."


A/N: When I started writing this fic WAY too long ago, I used the MCU timeline for the dates. A few days ago, I looked something up and found that they have made a lot of changes to the timeline. It's too late now to change everything in my story. So...if you notice some kind of discrepancy, that's why.