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Day 266

Sarah's place

Jane still didn't dare move. Terror and a tinge of excitement crowded her chest. Later, after she'd had time to process it all, she'd probably be furious with Loki for helping a megalomaniacal monster plot to invade Earth. But right now she wanted a plan to stop him.

She ventured out cautiously, desperately trying to keep her voice calm. "I need to tell Erik."

"No," he answered evenly.

"Earth has to have a chance to defend itself. SHIELD is our best shot."

"No."

Now she was feeling that anger. "I won't mention you. I'll—I'll tell Erik the Tesseract told me. SHIELD already thinks that I have some sort of weird relationship with that thing."

"Dr. Selvig believes you dead." Loki somehow kept his cool. He winced each time he took a deeper breath; getting emotional would likely be excruciating.

"You let me worry about that."

"They would experiment...on you and the child. No."

"The fate of seven billion people in the world is more important than my individual life."

"If you inform Selvig...he will move the Tesseract...to a location he believes is safer." He closed his eyes briefly. "Thanos already knows...where the Tesseract is. He will know if it is moved. He will react. No."

"Why did you tell me, then? What can we possibly do?"

"Sabotage," he whispered, his strength obviously spent.

"Sabotage? Sabotage what?"

"Tesseract. Portals. Pathways."

Jane pushed herself up. "I'll find my notebook."

Loki coughed. "Not tonight."

"What can I do?"

"Let me rest."

oooOOOooo

Day 267

Sarah's place

He'd stepped into a whirlwind. A rather small female whirlwind. Clothed in shapeless rags. All he wanted was respite but here were questions and gestures and papers and talking. By Odin's beard, the incessant talking!

Lacking one of those large white writing tablets, Jane had evidently spent the day scribbling idea and equation after idea and equation. The instant he'd appeared, Jane had seized his arm and dragged him to the low table in front of her couch. She'd started chattering at him and hadn't stopped yet. His eye throbbed, his ribs creaked painfully. His ears needed relief.

From the sheer volume of notes scattered around the room and the determined look on Jane' face, Loki surmised that she believed she had made great strides on their project. But how could she? She knew nothing about Thanos. She knew nothing of the planned invasion of Midgard.

Moreover, there was something wrong with her hair. It stood up from her head and was now two different colors. Very unflattering. And those clothes...

Would she ever stop squawking at him? What did she expect him to say? The ridiculous—no doubt archaic—symbols and terminology she flung at him meant nothing.

His head screamed discordantly. Resting alone last night, even in her presence, hadn't helped much. He wanted—needed—to touch her, but how was he to suggest that?

A disheveled head shoved itself in front of his face. "Loki! Aren't you listening?"

He drew away in distaste. "Do I have a choice?"

Jane backed up. "Do you want to do this or not?"

His lungs were on fire. "You seem to have it under control. You don't need me."

She frowned, then shook her head. "I'm gonna assume that was a joke. Anyway. I've written down all I know about the Tesseract. I think we could look—"

He dismissed her with a wave of his hand. "So impulsive. You've wasted time and effort. For what?"

"I'm impulsive? You should be grateful that I'm willing to help you."

He rolled his eyes—and immediately regretted it. His vision blurred. "Don't imagine yourself to be terribly altruistic. Your only concern is your planet." She was more self-righteous than Thor himself.

Jane planted her hands on her hips. "Wait—am I supposed to thank you for putting the human race at risk? Thank you for giving me the chance to be a hero?"

She was maddening. Raising his voice hurt but she wouldn't listen. "You know nothing about Thanos and yet you're charging ahead. And you call me arrogant. You've asked me no questions. You've just talked without ceasing. You can't learn anything if you never shut your mouth."

"You never answer any questions I ask!" Her voice squeaked with indignation. "You don't want to share any of your knowledge." Jane raked her fingers through the unruly mess on her head. "You are a pompous, spoiled little prince."

He unfurled from the couch, hoping to intimidate her. He was unsteady on his feet. Perhaps she wouldn't notice. "And you are a reckless, presumptuous peasant who doesn't know how to properly groom herself."

"What?!" Her eyes went wide.

"Have you looked in a mirror today?" His skull threatened to split. "Like when I first found you in your laboratory. You looked—and smelled—like a street child. An ugly street child."

Jane howled in frustration. "What does it matter how I look or smell? How is my physical appearance pertinent to the issue of saving my planet?"

The pinch in his side blossomed into agony. His knees buckled. Jane's face blurred as he collapsed, half on the couch, half on the floor.

"Loki!" she cried. She awkwardly knelt beside him. Her hands flapped like startled birds unable to decide where to land. Finally she laid them on his chest and pushed his overcoat half off his shoulders, then ran her hands over his sides. "What's happening? Are you bleeding? Is something broken?"

He hissed at the too-sharp relief her touch brought. Jane yanked her hands back.

"No," he gasped. "Please." He whimpered.

She sat back on her heels. "You're still injured."

"Very...observant." Shut up and touch me.

"They really did a number on you. You've not taken this long to heal before."

This woman will, in fact, be the death of me.

"You look pale...uh, paler than usual. What do you need?"

"You."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Come...here."

oooOOOooo

Day 268

Sarah's place

A tiny wrinkle creased her forehead. She made one notation, then crossed it out. She worried her lip for a moment. Jane was wholly absorbed in her work, scribbling into a notebook. A small hand came up to push hair behind her ear, but there was no hair to push. Her cropped hair was tidily held back by a wide band of cloth.

The pattern of the cloth in her hair matched the oversized shirt she wore. The shirt was so large and shapeless he would have assumed it was a man's but for the pleats on the bodice. Apparently this was some kind of tent Midgardian women wore during their confinement. It was buttoned up to her neck and down to her wrists. She wore close-fitting breeches. It wasn't the old rags she'd been wearing, but still unflattering.

His side throbbed. He and Jane had spent hours huddled together on the floor last night. It had been useful; his eye was merely bruised now and the gash on his face was just an angry red line. But there was more internal damage to repair. Upon his arrival he'd found Jane surrounded once again by notebooks. He'd expected her to...well, to welcome him with literal open arms. Surely she realized that in order to plot and plan, he had to be fully healed. Instead, she'd greeted him airily and asked if she could ask him a couple of questions. Mindful both that he had, in fact, asked her for help and that she'd accused him of withholding knowledge, he had agreed.

"This is a dream," he reminded her from the other end of the couch. She had been focused on that notebook for nearly an age.

She glanced up, surprised. "Of course...yes. This is a dream. Unless there is something I don't know."

"Isn't it a waste of your energy to scribe your notes? When you awaken won't the notebook be empty? Or does the notebook even exist?"

"The notebook does exist. It will be empty, yes. I write stuff down to help me remember it, even in my sleep. I apologize; I realize I'm taking a good deal of your time here." She glanced at what she'd already written. "Okay, just to confirm, if I may? You said that Thanos is a Titan?"

"Yes."

"Thank you." Jane set the pen and notebook down next to her.

Now can we touch?

"Tell me about Titans, please, if you don't mind." She shifted on the upholstered couch to face him.

He swallowed a sigh. "I don't know any other Titans besides Thanos. I'm not sure there are other surviving Titans. I remember hearing stories about the slow destruction of the planet Titan. I thought they were simply legends, but now I suspect they were true."

Loki paused, expecting Jane to burst forth with half a dozen questions. Instead, she sat attentively, hands folded under her burgeoning belly.

"Please, go on," she said.

"The tales I heard told of too many inhabitants and too few resources. Eventually war broke out. Violence and starvation eradicated the population. Apparently at least one Titan survived. He has no mate, not that I've seen nor that anyone has spoken of. He has what he calls children, but none of them are of his kind." His eyes darted to Jane's abdomen. "Nor do any of them appear to be of mixed parentage."

"This is all fascinating. Do you mind if I take notes while you talk?"

"No. Of course not." He shifted to try to relieve the discomfort in his side.

"Thank you," she said, and again set to writing. After a moment, she looked up at him. "Oh, please continue. I can listen and write at the same time. Unless that's distracting for you."

What's distracting is the pain I feel. Can't you see that? "No, it's fine."

"Great!" she chirped.

"Thanos loves to speak about bringing balance to the universe." Loki paused again, but Jane merely made a note, then looked expectantly at him. "Er, I'm not quite sure what he means by balance. He hasn't taken me that far into his confidence yet. He is obsessed with Death."

Jane held her pen off the paper. "Big d or little d?"

"I beg your pardon?"

She covered her mouth, then said, "Excuse the interruption. Force of habit. Go on, please."

He felt his brows draw together just a bit. "What do you mean by 'big d or little d?'"

"Oh. Death. I just wondered if you meant that Thanos is obsessed with death and dying in general—little d—or if he's obsessed by the person of Death—big d. But I'm sure you'll get to all that."

If she had sounded sarcastic in the least, Loki would have responded in kind. But she seemed entirely sincere. Which put him at a loss.

"I think it's a capital d. Thanos speaks of Death as a woman, a lover even. Or rather, a potential lover. He wishes to please her."

Jane lifted her pen and smiled a small smile.

Loki continued, "He's boasted about his conquests of other planets. Apparently killing makes Death happy."

The only sound in the room was her pen scratching its ink on the notebook.

He sighed. "Is there anything else you want to know?" He needed his ribs to heal completely.

"Um. Not that I can think of. This is all really great information. Thank you so much. I'll add this to my research notes tomorrow." She set the notebook aside and clumsily rose from the couch. "Good night, Loki. Stay as long as you'd like."

Loki could think of nothing to say as she walked to her bedroom and shut the door.

oooOOOooo

Day 269

Sarah's place

Tonight she wore some sort of dress. Like the blouse of the previous night, the dress was long and large, covering her from neck to wrists to ankles. It was a washed-out blue color. Her hair was again held back, this time by some type of plastic circlet.

She sat in one of the armchairs, that notebook in hand. "Good evening, Loki. Thank you for coming."

"Good evening, Jane."

She smiled the tiny smile. "I thought you might be more comfortable if you could stretch out, have the whole couch to yourself."

Brilliant idea. Except now she was even farther away. And his ribs still ached. He sat down and tried to find a position that didn't hurt.

Jane nodded. "Whenever you're ready. No rush."

"What do you want to know?"

"I want to know anything you want to share." Smile. "I'm all ears."

"I'll tell you about the Chitauri."

"That sounds great. Thank you." Smile.

Two hours later his ribs hurt even more. And still she didn't touch him.

oooOOOooo

Day 270

Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility

"Good morning, Thor."

"Agent Malone."

"How is JDEF treating you?"

"I've grown rather tired of it. I confess I don't remember why I am here."

"Ah. Well, then, you and Darcy have something in common."

"Is she unwell?"

"She's physically fine. But she's just coasting at Culver. She doesn't want to come here, though. I offered. Nowhere is appealing to her, I'm afraid. She's miserable and I think she hates me now."

oooOOOooo

Sarah's place

"Good evening, Loki. Thank you for coming."

He grunted and flopped onto the couch. Bad idea. He hissed in pain and grabbed his side.

Jane sat quietly in the armchair, holding the ridiculous notebook. He scowled at her. She smiled that infernal smile. Tonight's ensemble was a black sweater with those close-fitting breeches. Her hair was loose and only slightly mussed.

"What do you want?" he said curtly.

"Only what you feel up to. We could take a break tonight, if that would suit you better." She sat for a moment, then added, "You seem distressed."

"Distressed? Of course I'm distressed!" He sat up, cursing under his breath. "What are you playing at, Jane?"

"I'm not playing at anything."

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop being so polite, so obsequious. Stop smiling that false smile at me. Stop being so...passive and patient. It's maddening." His head was pounding. He wanted to seize her and make her obey him.

"Hmmm. A few nights ago, you said I talked too much. That I was presumptuous. You said there was so much you needed to teach me and that I couldn't learn if I didn't shut my mouth. So I've been asking questions and listening and learning. And now you're upset about that. You're a difficult person, Loki."

He clenched his jaw. I could do it. Even with his injuries, he was much stronger than Jane. He stood and took two steps toward her. "You know I need to sleep with you in order to fully heal myself," he ground out. "And yet you've not let me near you in three days."

Her eyes widened. "What? You...you never said anything about sleeping with me."

Because it's humiliating. But I'm past caring now.

He glared at her. "I'm saying it now. I'm in pain. I need relief." What's to stop me from taking what I want? Why am I negotiating with a human woman?

Jane smoothed a non-existent wrinkle out of her breeches. "Just to be absolutely clear: when you say sleep together, you mean..."

"What we had been doing quite happily until you decided it was off limits. Sleeping. Together."

"Okay, good to know. Here's the thing, Loki. We..."—she waved her index finger from herself to Loki— "We had not been sleeping together happily. I was out cold nearly the whole time."

Loki growled. How dare she speak to me like that? He took another step toward her.

She put her hand up, as though that would hold him at bay. "I'm terribly grateful that you saved my life and Alie's life. But you got in the habit of using my body as some sort of hot-water bottle to soothe your aches and pains. I'm a person. I have thoughts and opinions and ideas and feelings. This may be a dream, but I'm real. We need to agree on some ground rules here. Now."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because unless you do I'm going to wake myself up the moment you appear. Every night."

"You'll only hurt yourself."

"Your behavior is pretty threatening right now. What are you planning to do to me? Is it really going to get you what you want? Why didn't you just ask for help before?"

"I shouldn't have to ask you for help!" Loki snarled.

Jane set the notebook down calmly. Her hands weren't even trembling. How was she unaffected? She folded her hands in her lap. "So we're back to this."

"What do you want from me, Jane?"

"I want to be treated with basic respect as a living being. No more nasty remarks about my species."

He stared at her, his heart pounding and his fists clenching.

She shook her head. "Why is that so hard?"

"Because you are a short-lived, fragile species."

"Yes. We are, aren't we? So are flowers. And bees, and butterflies. Yet they are valued."

"This is a primitive society. Your most advanced technology is eons behind that of Asgard."

"No doubt. But what has your advanced technology brought you? Certainly not peace and universal prosperity across the realms. Is it really progress when it's not making everyone's lives better?"

His thoughts echoed...you are as poisoned and prejudiced as those who mistreated you.

Loki crossed his arms, his scowl deepening. "Just tell me what I have to do to get what I want. Without you threatening to flee the dream."

"You have to treat me like a person. Don't sneak around. Don't belittle my species. Stop acting like this whole thing is my fault."

He scoffed. "Don't worry. I've realized that it was utter nonsense to accuse you. You could not have engineered this predicament of mutual dependence. Not alone, at least. You Midgardians lack any sort of ability to perform such a spell."

"And there's the insult."

"It's a fact. Do Midgardians typically possess magical abilities?"

"No, but it was the way you said it. Stop it with the snide remarks about 'Midgardians,'" she insisted.

"Are you quite finished?"

"No. You have to treat me like a partner if we're going to work together. I have ideas too. You need to listen to them."

"How can you be my partner? You know nothing of Thanos, nothing of life beyond this realm."

"If you could do this without me, you would have."

A throb in his side reminded him of his objective. "All right, Dr. Foster, if you want me to treat you like a partner, you have to give too. What are you going to give me?"

oooOOOooo

Asgard

"Your Majesty."

"Good evening, Heimdall. I apologize for disturbing you at your post."

"No apology is needed. It is my pleasure to receive the queen."

"Can you see him, Heimdall?"

"No, my lady. He is keeping himself well-shrouded."

"Is he alive?"

"I believe so. If he were not, Jane Foster would exhibit distress."

"Is she well?"

"She is...coping."

"You know Odin has put Lady Sif on alert."

"Yes, my lady."

oooOOOooo

Sarah's place

"What are you going to give me?"

You mean besides letting you paw me? What else do you deserve? Jane thought. Loki loomed over her, the very picture of intimidation: feet planted wide, arms crossed, face hard. She knew his behavior was likely caused by pain and frustration, but she didn't really care. That didn't excuse him.

"What are you asking for?" she said.

"I will not accuse you of orchestrating this catastrophe. You will not accuse me of willingly bonding myself to you. That's insulting."

It was fair. It still stung like crazy. Jane shrugged, determined not to let her feelings show. "Yeah, fine."

"Furthermore, do not pry into my life. I will tell you what you need to know."

"You really need to make up your mind. First I don't ask enough questions, then I shouldn't pry. You know, sometimes I'll need to ask questions in the name of science."

He merely raised his eyebrows. "Those are my demands. For the time being."

"Really?" Jane retorted. She stood up, suddenly furious. Loki had torn into her dream, all nasty and intimidating. "Are you sure? Don't you want to stipulate that I must genuflect when I enter a room, your Highness?"

"What do you want, woman?" His voice grew flinty. "You poke and prod and nag and when I give in and tell you I need help, you simply sharpen your talons and dig in deeper."

She ran her hands through her hair. This was such a bad idea. I should have known that Loki—the real Loki—would never cooperate. "Just forget it. Forget this whole conversation. It—"

"And what is wrong with your hair?" he interrupted.

"What?" Jane blinked rapidly. "My hair?"

"Why is it two different colors? Why does it stick up all over your head?"

She took another deep breath. "My hair is none of your business, but I cut it and colored it and now it's growing out." She felt terribly self-conscious and angry that he had that effect on her.

Loki squinted and shook his head. "It's ugly," he pronounced. You were more tolerable before you butchered your hair."

"Ugghhh! You know, there is one more ground rule. It hurts my fee—" Jane caught herself too late. Are you insane, Foster? What are you doing? "Never mind."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Out with it. I doubt I could tolerate having this conversation a second time."

Jane swallowed, hoping to vanquish the spiky knot of emotion in her throat. "I changed my mind."

"You were impassioned a mere moment ago. Tsk, tsk. Has the indomitable Dr. Jane Foster lost her nerve? I thought you were made of stronger stuff."

"It's nothing." She shook her head and smoothed her hair again. Keep your hands off your hair! Jane crossed to the couch and sat, busying herself straightening the stack of notebooks.

Loki pivoted to track her movement. Jane sensed his scrutiny, but she ignored him. Then he said, sounding surprised, "It angered you that I remarked on your hair."

Jane ducked her head, fascinated with her unmanicured fingernails. There was only so much one could do with a pile of five notebooks.

"You reacted more strongly to an insult to your hair than to an insult of your species. Why?"

Jane drew yet another deep breath. Trying to have a conversation with Loki required lots of stress management exercises. "I'm just a vain girl, I suppose. It's really not important."

"You? Vain? Ha! If you were vain we wouldn't be having this conversation. And it does seem important. You won't look me in the eye. Surely my opinion couldn't possibly matter to you, could it?"

He wasn't going to drop the issue. Jane swallowed hard again and mentally squared her shoulders.

"Your opinion doesn't matter to me." That was only a small lie. "You are free to think whatever you want about my appearance. I expect all the women in Asgard are like supermodels. I get that compared to them, I'm, you know, a goat."

Her voice shook, but she resolutely plowed on. "Beauty's in the eye of the beholder, right, so it's your prerogative to find me ugly. And it's not like I think I'm so special. I mean, I'm just an ordinary woman, not even a super beautiful human or anything, let alone someone who could compare to the women in Asgard."

Out of the corner of her eye Jane could see that Loki had gone absolutely still, like a panther focusing on its prey just before it goes for the kill. Half of her mind screamed SHUT UP! but the other, evidently stronger, half was seized with the compulsion to unburden herself.

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't necessarily think of myself as pretty and I definitely don't expect or need you to think I'm pretty. It's just that I've got a lot to deal with in my life right now and I really don't need to keep hearing about how tolerable or not tolerable I am, so...could you please stop commenting on my appearance? It hurts my feelings."

The room was so silent Jane could hear her heart pounding.

"And now," she said, ignoring him, still scrutinizing her ragged fingernails, "I'm pretty tired. I probably should head to bed for some better sleep."

Can a person actually die of embarrassment?

"Jane," Loki said. "Look at me."

Paradoxically, his calm tone set her on edge. She flapped her hand, waving his words away. "Just forget it. This whole stupid conversation was a giant mistake."

"You aren't a goat."

An unexpected spear of pride made her voice sharp. "You don't have to say that to make me feel better. I don't care what you think. I just want you to keep it to yourself."

The couch dipped as he sat beside her. She tensed, but refused to look at him.

He hummed, like someone relishing a delicious meal. Like a panther licking his chops. "Aesir women are delicious. It's true. Nigh to perfect, every last one of them."

And there it was. The pounce. Jane slouched and picked at one of those poor nails, misery twisting her insides.

"A feast for the eyes, they are. Long legs, enticing walk, radiant eyes, tight...well. I'll stop there. You've met Lady Sif, so you have some idea of the beauty of Asgardian women, though Sif would likely run a man through with a sword if he dared remark on her physical assets." He chuckled, probably remembering a time he'd done just that.

She had forgotten how creatively cruel Loki could be. But she'd been an absolute idiot, and now she had to take her punishment.

Loki went on, his voice casual. "Many of them are remarkably empty-headed, though. They think only of clothing and hairstyles. They apply themselves only to securing invitations to banquets and to snaring some poor fellow. They lack curiosity, a desire to understand, a thirst for knowledge."

Her fidgeting stilled.

"And nearly all of them lack the capacity to grasp concepts beyond what they know in their everyday lives. I can't imagine discussing anything like the Tesseract with them. They're quite tiresome, really. I don't miss them at all."

This wasn't the kill...was it? Now Jane couldn't stop herself from meeting his eyes. He gazed at her solemnly, no discernible trace of mockery or anger in his expression.

"And none of them has eyes the color of whiskey."

For a dozen heartbeats, they studied each other. He was beautiful. In spite of the scratch on his face and the dark circles under his green, green eyes, Loki was so beautiful.

You will be mine, and mine alone. Do you understand me?

Forever.

He was hers. She could lean forward, just a little, and—

"Jane," Loki murmured.

It was the gentleness in his voice that did it, that terrified her in a way his fury could not. Loki would never sound like that. Snap out of it, Foster. He's playing an angle. He's playing you. This is Loki, not Kai. Remember?

I would never debase myself by breeding with a lower species. Particularly with a specimen such as yourself.

She forced a chuckle, forced a playful smile, forced a light tone around that painful lump in her throat. "You charmer, you." She wagged a finger at him. "We're so serious all the time around here, I forget that you're the god of Mischief. You almost had me there."

Loki just watched her soberly. So she blabbered on.

"Clearly I'm emotional and not thinking straight. Pregnancy can do that to a woman. I'm going to get some rest. Uh, and you can come too if you need to. Gotta keep my end of the bargain, right?"

Without waiting for an answer she awkwardly hauled herself to her feet and headed to her bedroom before the tears could spill over.