apologies & hugs


The walk down to the dungeons was horrible. Mainly because she felt so bad for lashing out on Severus she could feel the pain in her stomach. She had to apologize and it made her nervous.

With her stupid behaviour she had angered the only person who had constantly been friendly and open towards her. Her former Potions Professor was now more and more becoming her safe haven and she had treated him like garbage.

When she opened the door to their chambers she was positively terrified. What if he told her, that he couldn't deal with her childish behaviour anymore? She had been so moody. She could understand completely if a well-behaved person like him wouldn't tolerate her hormonal outbreaks any longer.

Even worse than facing him however was the moment she realized he wasn't there. Their chambers were empty, the adjoined lab as well. Worried she paced the rooms for twenty minutes until she decided to go looking for him. Maybe he was looking for her himself? Her hope fuelled her and she quickly made her way to the door only to stop right on her tracks, when it opened and her husband came into the room. He looked as terrible as she felt.

"Severus," she said nervously to catch his attention. He looked at her then, defeated, but relieved to see her. Before she had the chance to speak however he took the opportunity himself.

"I'm sorry," he said, stepping closer to her while letting his head hang in regret.

Hermione opened her mouth only to close it again. Had she misheard him?

"I know this is difficult for you and-," he began only for the brunette to interrupt him.

"Excuse me? Are you apologizing?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You have absolutely no reason to. It's me. It's all my fault. I'm a horrible person."

She took a step towards him and gently touched his arm. "I'm so sorry. I've been so unkind to you. Even though you were so wonderful to me. You didn't do anything wrong," she assured him.

He sighed, still looking unsure.

"Hermion-"

"No, please listen," she choked out. This was difficult for to say, but equally important.

"I hope you can forgive me. I didn't mean anything I said. It's a difficult situation for both of us and we should stick together and not worry, because I have the feeling that our relationship is progressing. I've come to like you a lot and I don't want to loose you, because I keep behaving like a stupid bitch." There, she had said it. Hanging her head in shame she waited for his reaction.

Suddenly Severus was hugging her. Her head pressed into his chest and she could hear him breathing heavily against her ear. At first irritated she finally realized he wasn't pushing her away.

Enjoying the fierce reaction she wrapped her arms around his mid and breathed in his scent. He smelled like dark chocolate and sea salt. A smile spread on her lips. This gesture meant progress. Not only was this a sign, that he was forgiving her her unnecessary outbreak, they had also never hugged this emotionally before. Only once outside, when they had visited the tree and that had been a more comforting hug. This was raw emotion.

"At least you are my stupid bitch," he suddenly whispered into her ear and a low chuckle escaped him. Hermione let out a relieved laugh as well and only loosened her grip on him, when he straightened to let go of her.

"So…are we friends again?" she asked and bit her lip expectantly.

Severus nodded. "Of course."


They were both equally worn out from the excitement of the day and decided to calm down while taking their tea in front of the fireplace. Hermione used the time to fill Severus in on her conversation with Mr Foster. To say that Severus wasn't pleased was an understatement. He seemed to actually hold a grudge against this particular student.

"He has had a crush on you ever since he first arrived here. You'd think that a seventeen-year-old would be easily distracted by other girls, but not him apparently. That boy has never even glanced at another female being."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, please Severus. You don't know that. Maybe I'm just his favourite teacher. Friendship happens between teacher and student."

Severus raised an eyebrow and slowly shook his head. "Friendship, yes. But it is not friendship he seeks. You are naïve if you believe for a second that this boy wouldn't give his right arm to get into your pants."

Flabbergasted Hermione put her teacup down and stared at her husband. She was surprised by his blunt words, but also alarmed her husband would think that about a student. "If that's true, he might be worth a closer investigation. Jealousy is a strong motive. You don't think he could have something to do with the memory loss, do you?"

"I would definitely not be surprised. We should keep an eye on him. Just in case. If he approaches you again, please tell me."

Hermione nodded in agreement. If Cody really had something to do with this, she would find it out. He hadn't seemed like the most confident person. Maybe she could gain his trust enough for him to confide in her. Decision made she grabbed her cup again and thought about possible approaches. She didn't really want to trick him by giving him a wrong impression. There was no way she would use his romantic feelings towards her against him. That was simply something she couldn't pull off without hurting her own moral dignity.

Maybe there was another way. She could offer him an apprenticeship. Then again she didn't remember ever teaching, so he wouldn't be able to learn anything new. Sensing that this problem wasn't going to be solved today, she decided to sleep over it. Dealing with this tomorrow sounded much better somehow.


Severus mentioned some papers he needed to grade and Hermione decided to read while he was doing so. Occupying her mind and slipping into different world had always held it's appeal to her and she loved simply sitting there for hours, doing nothing else than staring at pages filled with words.

Unfortunately the evening came sooner than Hermione expected and she found herself yawning after finishing the last chapter of her book. Severus was long done grading and closed his book when he saw how tired she was. Looking at his wife there was an uncertainty in his eyes, as if he wanted to say something.

'Spill it out' shot through her mind in the snarkiest Snape voice she knew. A small smile formed on her lips. Who could fault her for this thought? He was the dungeon bat after all.

"Would you be interested in going out with me tomorrow?," he finally asked and leaned slightly towards her, as though he was afraid not to catch her answer.

Hermione immediately felt much more awake.

"You mean like a date?" Her voice sounded unusually high.

Severus frowned. "Well, yes. But you don't have to feel pressured. I would just like to take you out to dinner and maybe spend the day, doing something you like. Just like we do now, but in public."

The way he said public showed how much he despised that word. It seemed to her as though he was trying to do her a favour with this. He certainly wasn't known for his extroverted nature, but that he would go on a date with her to pamper her, was a very comforting thought, that did all kinds of happy feelings to her body.

Not wanting to leave him waiting any longer, Hermione nodded.

"I'd love that, Severus."

Smiling she stood up and made her way to him. Without a second thought she hugged him, while he was still seated in his armchair. At first she felt him tense, but then he returned the hug, burying his nose in her hair. His arms sneaked around her and he slowly pulled her into his lap.

Hermione felt her heartbeat picking up. She knew he wouldn't do anything, she didn't want. Still this closeness was new to her and simply being in such close proximity to him did something funny to her lower regions. Surprised at her bodies reaction she didn't even notice that she now sat on his lap and he had stopped pulling her closer. The lower parts of their bodies weren't even touching. There was nothing sexual about it, but she felt her body react and that made her blush. 'Stupid, witch' she thought to herself. Here she was embracing her husband and he was apparently trying to up the game, without overstepping boundaries and all she could think about was that this was a position they might as well have had sex in before.

She knew by now, that she liked her husband. Maybe she could even admit, that she found him attractive, but certainly she had never entertained sexual thoughts about him before. So why did his innocent touch leave her so wanting? Obviously flustered, she didn't move and simply let him hug her.

After what felt like hours, he finally pulled back and searched her face as if he could read he thoughts that way. Then again maybe he could. Blushing again Hermione got up from his lap in a bit awkward manner and straightened her clothes.

"Do you want to go to bed?" His voice was low and rasp and hadn't he yawned a second later Hermione would have assumed he had other things in mind than sleeping. Quickly making a sound of approval she made her way to the bathroom, so he wouldn't notice how red her face was.


Later as they lay in bed next to each other, her thoughts spiralled around him. Her newfound sexual attraction to him was something she couldn't deny, but didn't feel ready for yet. Part of her was excited and wanted to learn everything she had missed about sex due to her memory loss. The other part, the more rational one, told her to be patient and wait for their relationship to develop and grow. For the first time she felt like fighting an inner battle, her body being hyperaware of the man sleeping next to her. Sleep didn't really seem like an option in her current state and she briefly contemplated masturbating to get rid of the potent energy fuelling her body, but the thought alone made her feel ashamed. If Severus somehow noticed she would die of embarrassment. So instead she opted for the second option and found sleep two hours later.


AN: BACKSTREET'S BACK - ALRIGHT!

No seiously. I kept you waiting long enough, but I feel as though it was worth it.

It will definitely get more romantic an frustrating ;) in the next chapters.

Hope you enjoy this chapter and have a nice week,

AC