Chapter 14: Star gazing
It was five when they left the café and already dark outside because of the cold season. Hermione was happy that it wasn't that freezing tonight. Holding Severus' hand she strolled along the pavement next to him, looking at all the pretty illuminated windows. She enjoyed the walk, breathing in the fresh air helped her collecting her thoughts. Severus didn't talk much as always, but she made sure to ask him questions from time to time. She wanted to get to know her husband. She found out, that his favourite ice-cream flavour was dark chocolate, he liked Muggle fiction from time to time and he thought about leaving Hogwarts to do something more fulfilling than teaching Dunderheads. Her Potions Master clearly got more interesting the more she unveiled about him.
Half an hour later they stopped in front of a small movie theatre, which Hermione had never seen before. It looked pretty in an old-fashioned way, red carpet, shady lighting and golden decors on the walls. Hermione took of her coat while Severus purchased two tickets and looked around. It seemed as though the guests were more sophisticated than most common people in movie theatres. They wore fancy, but artistic clothes, which looked either weird or fascinating.
"What are we watching?" Hermione asked as soon as Severus was back at her side.
"It a black-and-white movie. You've started to like these over the years and I thought you might get to like them again."
He let her into the showing room and they took their seats. Ten minutes later the movie started and Hermione actually enjoyed herself. The movie was romantic and cute. The best part however happened near the end of the movie. There was a scene where a couple was stargazing and suddenly the roof of the cinema opened up to reveal a glass ceiling. The clear night sky allowed the viewers to stargaze themself and Hermione stared at the sky for a while, before she turned her head to smile at Severus in awe.
"They built this recently. We actually didn't get to see it yet, but I thought you would fancy it," he whispered and Hermione nodded in response. This was absolutely amazing, especially because they didn't have to stand in the cold to watch the stars. She hadn't expected a Muggle theatre to be so innovative. Pleased with Severus ideas for their date, she smiled and eyed the screen, where the main characters were engaged in a heavy kissing session. Envious Hermione side glanced at her husband who was looking at the sky. Maybe if she drew his attention to her…
"I can't thank you enough for this day. It has been beyond wonderful," she said quietly and tried not to stare at his lips to obviously. "If you keep this up, I might fall in love with you."
She meant it, truly. It wasn't just a line to get him to look at her. But he did. He turned his head towards her and looked at her as if unsure if she had actually said that. Hermione smiled and swallowed heavily. She would kiss him now. She wanted to do it. There was just this fear of embarrassment keeping her back. Biting her bottom lip, she saw Severus staring at her. Was she already making a fool of herself?
"It can be frustrating at times. Knowing what you are thinking, but also knowing that you might not want me to act on it," he said turning his body more into her direction.
Hermione was sure her face just turned 5 shades darker. Good thing it was still dark in here. Swallowing she opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
"Just know that I'm aware of the times when your thoughts resolve around… romantic interactions," he said and put his hand under her chin to tilt her head slightly more upward.
Hermione's breath caught as he leaned closer, still too far away from her face.
"If you know my emotional range so well, why are you unsure of reacting to it?" she whispered and licked her lips.
He smiled.
"Sometimes I'm not sure, if you are ready for me to do something or just like the idea. I don't want to drive you away, by overstepping boundaries," he explained in a low, but dark voice.
Hermione held his gaze.
"To be honest with you. At the moment I think there aren't any boundaries you could accidently overstep."
She didn't see his mouth splitting into a grin. There was no time to notice, because a second later she felt his immediate response to her words. Firm but soft lips pressed against hers.
She didn't react immediately. But the tingling feeling on her lips stayed even after he pulled back two second later and that was when she finally moved forward herself and kissed him back. His hand on her chin dropped and they kept kissing each other. Not in a heated, overly sexual kind of way, though. Their kisses were reassuring, honest and emotionally open. Hermione tingled all over. She felt as though the world around them didn't exist. Ginny had been right. Touch would help her feel closer to him. The hug they had shared had warmed her insides and these kisses were toe-curling. Obviously there was potential for more intense pleasure. In that moment she was positive that she was in lust with her husband.
After what felt like hours Severus pulled back, dark eyes gazing at her.
"I hope you liked the movie," he said and Hermione blinked a few times before she noticed the credits rolling over the screen. People were already standing up to leave the theatre, but thankfully no one seemed to pay closer attention to them.
"I especially enjoyed the ending," she whispered and grinned at him.
She had the impression that they had made an important step today. They had not gotten closer to finding a cure, but Hermione didn't mind as much anymore as she did before. This amazing, caring man was at her side and he would be for the rest of their life. She still couldn't fathom how she deserved to be with him, but she knew he was worth more than all her memories and she would make sure not to mess this up again. Confident she took his hand on the way out.
When they arrived at home Hermione didn't know what to expect. They had kissed sure. But were they going to do more than that? And were they going to do it tonight? Anticipation and fear started to swirl in her stomach. Was she ready for more? She had told him there were no boundaries. Maybe that had been the wrong thing to say. Then again, she was sure as soon as they started making out, she would willingly take things to the next level.
Deciding not to worry too much about it now, she got ready for bed. Before she put on her pyjamas she looked at her naked form in the bathroom mirror and reassured herself that she looked fine. Of course there was always room for improvement, but she liked her breast, her hips and her baby bump. Smiling she stroked it. When would she start to feel the baby move? Soon enough she would be bigger. A lot bigger. She wondered if she would still like herself then. Putting the thought aside she dressed for bed and then went into the bedroom. Severus got ready after her, so there was nothing else for her to do than wait for her husband to join her.
Since they had arrived Severus hadn't said anything. Maybe he was tired, but he sure seemed distant again. He didn't make any advances into her direction, except for holding her hand. Hermione was pretty positive he wouldn't jump her when he came out of the bathroom. But maybe a goodnight kiss would be nice? She licked her lips at the thought. Their kisses had made her feel needy. Horribly so. Had she known kisses could be so arousing she would have taken more time to date sooner.
The opening of the bathroom door brought her out of her thoughts and she quickly focused on her husband, who was wearing his usual sleeping attire and without a word went to his side of the bed. He slid under the blanket and got rid of the lights.
"I hope you enjoyed yourself today."
His voice was calm.
"I did. It was a wonderful date. Thank you so much."
"I'm glad. We should both get some sleep. I already have some ideas for tomorrow."
"I'm looking forward to it."
"Good night. Sleep well."
"Good night," Hermione replied somewhat unsure if he was really going to end the day like this.
She felt slightly disappointed at the lack of a good night kiss. Starring at the ceiling she bit her lip. For a few minutes they both lay awake, she could hear his breathing. She moved a few times to find a better position, but simply felt as though she couldn't fall asleep that easily.
"I can hear you thinking," Severus suddenly murmured and turned to face her in the dark. "What's the matter?"
"It's nothing."
Her reply was short and sounded off.
"Let's skip that stage of denial and get straight to the point, shall we? I know you. Please tell me what's on your mind."
Hermione sighed. There was no point in swallowing everything there was to say.
"We kissed."
From her left she heard a faint sound of approval.
"What does that mean now? I thought we were getting more comfortable with each other. Why didn't you kiss me goodnight? Are you just being careful? Am I allowed to show you affections too or do we only do this occasionally? Because I don't know any rules for this and I'm trying to follow your lead, but I'm nervous and uncertain, because this is all new for me."
Severus sat up.
"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I didn't want to be close to you. I do… very much so." He suddenly took his wand to lighten a candle on her nightstand. "It feels strange to talk about this without seeing you, "he murmured and ran his hand through his hair.
"Then I didn't do anything wrong? You want to… touch me."
"Indeed. But I feel, as though you should direct the pace, since you are the one for whom this is a new experience. If you want me to touch you more often I will."
Hermione let out a relieved breath. This was only him being cautious of her feelings again.
"So, let me get this straight. You want to have sex with me." She was now propped up on one elbow eyeing him.
"Of course I do! I can't believe we are having this conversation."
His expression was so flabbergasted, that Hermione couldn't help but smile.
"Good, you are right. I'm not ready for the… main event, yet, but I wouldn't mind slowly easing into it." Carefully she reached out and touched his arm, drawing circles on it with her thumb.
"Also, if you have the need to hug, kiss or touch me in any way please do it or tell me, that you would like to do it. That way you won't have to hold back all the time. I am very curious about this… newfound attraction and I wouldn't mind exploring it. Plus I feel a bit guilty that you don't get to have everything a real wife would give you," she admitted.
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"That's ridiculous. I would never expect of you to… You aren't guilty. Believe me. To be honest I'm astonished you are staying with me and letting me touch you. There was a part of me, which feared we would only become friends after the memory loss and nothing more."
That actually surprised her.
"Really? Why would you think so? Ginny told me there was a lot of sexual attraction between us and I know at first I didn't believe her, but there was never a moment were I thought 'Oh, maybe Severus and I would better of as friends'. Trust me." She nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. Time to be bold.
"In fact I think you are really attractive… and kind. I don't think I've ever liked someone that much."
She was serious and the smile on his face showed how pleased he was about her answer.
"Thank you. I'm relieved you feel this way about me."
He struck his arm out and gently stroked her hair. Hermione smiled contently and sighed into his touch.
"I know this question may sound weird, but how do you feel about me? I'm not your wife and sometimes I can't help but wonder…" if I'm enough.
She didn't finish the sentence, but he stopped stroking her hair and she didn't dare open her eyes for a few seconds.
"I love you, obviously. Even the new you, because if I'm honest you are not that different from my Hermione," he answered and the seriousness of his facial expression showed her how honest he was. A slow blush spread across her face and her stomach felt funny. Deep down she had known he felt this way, but to hear him say it was so much more intense. Acting quickly she moved forward and gave him a quick and chaste kiss on the lips. Instead of letting go of her however, Severus grabbed her head and pulled her in for a longer kiss, that was nearly more toe curling than the ones in the movie theatre had been. When he finally let go of her, her face was redder that ever before. Licking her lips Hermione knew it was time to stop even though both of them were breathing heavily.
"Good night. I hope you sleep well," she chirped her breathing uneven. Severus nodded, looking amused but quite pleased himself. "You, too," he said and extinguished the candle with a flick of his wand.
AN: Thank you guys so much for all the wonderful feedback on the last chapter. I really appreciate it! This one was actually really annoying to write. I changed it a thousand times and am now finally happy with it. I hope you like it as well. As you can tell the two of them are heading into the NSFW direction. Stay tuned and have a nice day.
