A/N: I do not own any of these characters. My follow up to Tonight I'm Here is out! It's called Coffee and Confessions, please check it out. Thank you! On to the story!
Olivia POV
I was stunned. I believed him, but part of me didn't want to. I put space between us. I walked around him, around the other side of his couch, where his back door was. He had that look in his eyes, and he started towards me. I put my hand up. "NO Elliot. Stop!" He halted dead in his tracks. Tears were coming up in his eyes as well as mine. I needed to breathe. And probably a good therapy session to be honest. Time was coming close to an end, I had to get home to Noah. "Elliot. I need time to process this. I have to process. And I have to get home to Noah." He nodded his head, and punched the bridge of his nose, like he does when he's stressed. I walked passed him, made it to the door and turned the knob. I felt him come up behind me, and with a feather's touch, he grabbed my arm and turned me into him. This hug was like select others from the past, only now everything was different. And yet, the same. And in that moment in his arms, I felt that love. And it was real; tangible. I hugged him back, and then pushed myself out of his arms. He let me go easily. He gave his famous Elliot Stabler smile. I couldn't help but touch his face. "Elliot, I promise we will talk again. Soon."
"Ok Liv. I will be here when you're ready. I promise. I'll always be here." There's a part of me that didn't want to leave. A part of me that could've melted in his arms right then and there. But I knew now was not the time. I couldn't help but smile, and I walked away. On the drive home, I thought about everything he had said. When I made it home, Noah was in bed, safe and sound. I couldn't go to sleep yet. While I was pouring myself a little wine, I got a text notification on my phone. It was from Elliot.
"I wanted to make sure you made it home safely. Please text me and let me know. And also, I meant what I said. Whenever you are ready to talk again, I'm ready. I'll do whatever it takes to fix this- fix us. -El
I sent him a text letting him know I was safely home and told him I'd call within the next couple of days. Then, I put my phone on the charger, and made my way to my room with my glass of wine. I found myself in my closet, pulling out a box from the very back. I hadn't looked in it in years, but I needed it. Sitting on my bed, I pulled it out, lifting the lid off. And on top was my favorite photo of us. Elliot and I.
It took me two weeks to get back with Elliot to set up a time to meet at his place. Work had been absolutely insane, and when I finally made it over to his place, Bernie answered the door. "Hi!! Come in, come in. Elliot, your partner is here!" She shouted loudly. I always smile when she refers to me as "his partner" because, in a way, I suppose I always will be. I walk into the living room, and he comes out of what I assume is his room, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I cannot help noticing his body- he is built. I'm so used to having to refrain from looking at him. But I allowed myself to this time. I think he noticed, I see a slight cocky smile spread across his face as he greets me. "Hey, partner." I am hoping to God that my face isn't red, I felt a blush coming on and I couldn't help myself. Bernie made her way from the kitchen. "Olivia, do you want something to drink?" I shake my head. "No thank you Bernie, I'm alright." Elliot takes his mothers hand and helps her sit down in one of the chairs. "Ma, rest a little before Kathleen gets here." She looks up at her son. "Kathleen is coming over?"
"Yeah, Ma, she's taking you out for dinner. She should be here any minute, in fact." He tells her as he's looking at his watch. Sure enough, a couple of minutes later, Kathleen was knocking at the door. I watched Kathleen come in, she looked slightly surprised by my presence. "Olivia, hi! Is everything alright?" I stand to greet her. "Hi. No, yeah everything is fine. I just came to talk to your dad for a minute." She looks over at her father, and Elliot is helping Bernie get her bag and jacket. "Ok. It's good seeing you, Olivia." She goes to join her dad, helping her get Bernie out the door. She seemed in a rush, and I hope that she's not upset by my presence. Soon enough, we're all alone. "Eli is staying at a friend's house for a couple of days. So, we shouldn't get interrupted." Yes. As long as work doesn't call us in, we should be fine. I nod and I take a seat on his couch. And he joins me. "I'm glad you came back, Liv. Words cannot describe how thankful I am that you came back. I know that I don't deserve it. Thankful for it nevertheless."
"I want to work this out, Elliot. And I thought about everything you said. But there's still something I want to know."
Elliot POV
When I came out of the room, I saw her. And I could've sworn that she was checking me out. It made my heart skip a beat. And it made me hopeful...
"Anything." She looks me straight in my eyes.
"Why did you give me that letter, really?" I couldn't explain this. I wished I had never given it to her. But she deserves an answer.
"What I said was true, I didn't know how to start.. and, I don't know. Maybe at the time, while Kathy's death was so fresh, I just felt like I owed it to her to give it to you. I don't know. I know that this is a lame excuse. And I wish I had a better reasoning behind that action- but I don't. All I know Liv- is that I'm so so sorry. I really am." I hope that I can - that she will let me make this up to her. I know that I probably never can; but I can spend the rest of my life trying.
She nods her head slowly, eyes cast downward, taking it in. Then she looks at me. "Ok. I understand that. Grief can manifest in many ways and mess with your head. I get that." I want nothing more right now than to hold her. To tell her that I love her. But I will wait for her to be ready. However long that takes.
Olivia POV
And I did. I did understand. More than he probably realizes. Not saying that excuses everything, but the question is- am I ready to accept him for all that he is? To forgive and move forward? I remembered back to my therapy session.
"He has hurt me so much, but he has been open with his reasonings. Been open with me. But it still hurts." Dr. Lindstrom looks at me. "Olivia, it does hurt. But the question that you have to ask yourself is are you ready to let go of the past? Heal it and then build a strong foundation? You both have cared for each other for a long time. If you both can accept each other for you who you are, all - everything- and forgive, and talk and heal, you will know. You will have your answers."
Was I? My heart was screaming yes. When it comes to him, it always screams yes. I looked into those crystal blue eyes, and they drew me in. Yes, I love him. Yes, I always loved him. Yes, I always will love him. Just yes. My heartbeat was betraying me, and so was my face. I couldn't deny it. And the look he was giving me, I knew that he felt it to. My walls had melted away. And I knew that once what was about to happen actually happened, that there was no turning back. None.
A/N: I really hope you guys like this one. Please read and review I love the feedback. Thank you!
