Ema hated complaining. It accomplished nothing and helped no one. But if she didn't tell Hikaru and Arisa about Erik, she knew they would be upset, so she emailed them both to tell them about Erik coming to Japan.
She kept her email upbeat, presenting the situation as 'you'll never guess what happened!' rather than 'I can't believe this is happening to me.' They would both probably see right through it since they knew how much Erik hurt her, but she hoped they would think she'd chosen to forgive and forget.
As she hit send, she had the feeling she'd be afraid to check her email for a while. If Hikaru and Arisa both got angry on her behalf, she feared that would fan her own unhappy feelings and she didn't need any help on that front.
~.~
The collaboration project between classes turned out to be the biggest project of their third year. They would have to work together for five weeks. After working together for two weeks, Ema was at Natsume's on Friday for a night of gaming.
Unfortunately, despite her dislike of complaining, she found herself unable to resist venting about Erik. Since the only ones in Japan who knew the whole story were Iori and Natsume, and Erik coming back seemed to remind Iori of Fuyuka, that left Natsume as her venting partner.
"And you want to know the worst part of working with Erik?" she asked, shooting down an enemy ship.
"What?"
"He's always so nice! Always. He holds open doors for me. He always walks on the outside of the street. He brings snacks in case I get hungry while we're working on our assignment. He offers to pick up any books we need for research." And yesterday they'd ended up working late, so he'd insisted on walking her home since it had started getting dark.
"You'd rather he not be nice?" Natsume asked, charging up his blasters for a special move.
She sighed. She knew she wasn't making sense, but since when did romantic feelings and relationships make sense? She wished they were nice and orderly and easy, but instead they were messy and confusing. Shouldn't something that was supposed to be so positive be easier? Or at least less confusing.
"I don't know. It's not like I want him to be rude. It's just—he's treating me like he did when we were dating. He was always nice, that was part of why I fell for him. But after we started dating, he became even sweeter, always looking out for me and making sure I was comfortable." He had always been so upbeat and kind. Everything about him had drawn her in. Her voice lowered as she admitted, "Sometimes when we're working together, I forget that we're not actually together anymore."
Natsume winced, missing an easy shot. He was grateful Ema trusted him with her feelings. Happy about it even. But hearing her talk about a guy she'd had strong feelings for, and maybe still had strong feelings for, sucked. A lot. He wanted to draw her attention to the game instead. Or maybe to himself. But she was venting because she needed to vent and he didn't want to take that away from her.
"Do you want to be with Erik again?" he asked. His mind flashed to his kiss with her and her comments about feeling like he wouldn't play games in a relationship. In the end, had she felt Erik was playing games with her? It didn't sound like it since she'd spent the last five minutes talking about how nice Erik was. Maybe it was some other guy who'd played games, or maybe he'd misread that she'd had a boyfriend who did that in the past. He wished they were close enough for him to ask those questions.
It took a while for Ema to respond. When she did, her voice was tiny as she admitted, "I don't know. I don't want to want to be with him. But that doesn't mean part of me doesn't want that."
Erik had made her feel so cared for. So valued. But then why did he break up with her? Logically, she understood that it wasn't what he'd wanted, but he'd felt it was too difficult to keep up a real relationship with how much she traveled and how little access she had to internet to be able to communicate with him. But her heart said that if leaving someone wasn't what you really wanted, you didn't walk away just because it was difficult. The Asahinas never said 'it's just too hard to keep being your friend.' Friends and boyfriends were different, but still.
"I don't know," she repeated, sighing. "I wish he hadn't come." But maybe part of her was a little happy he had come. She didn't want to be taken in by Erik coming all this way for her—but he had uprooted his entire life to try to be with her again, and actions mattered. A lot.
"I wish I'd already had a boyfriend when he showed up," she muttered under her breath. "Then I wouldn't be in this situation."
Natsume wasn't sure he was supposed to hear that last bit, but he couldn't help feeling exasperated. If Ema hadn't been so dead set against dating, if she'd shown any interest toward dating, she probably would have a boyfriend. His preference would have been him, but if not him, he was sure someone else would have been happy to swoop in and date her. She was too amazing not to have guys lined up around the block wanting to date her, but she couldn't see that. And this Erik guy seemed to be one of the reasons why. No matter how nice Ema thought he was, Natsume wasn't certain he could find it in himself to like him. He really hoped they didn't end up dating.
~.~
"How can all the libraries be closed?" Ema complained as she and Erik stared at her phone. They'd headed to the school library after school to work on their project only to find it closed, so Ema looked up the address of the nearest public library only to find that it was closed too.
"That's bad timing," Erik said. "I'd invite you to come study at my apartment, but my uncle is hosting a big business dinner tonight. I guess we just wait until next week when the libraries are open again?"
"But then we'll fall behind," she argued, still staring at her phone. "We only have a week left to finish the project." They'd been working together for a month now. Working with Erik was . . . comfortable. Enjoyable even. Being with him always had been. "We can go to my house," she said slowly. "But I don't promise it won't be chaotic. There are a lot of Asahinas."
"Yeah? How many brothers and sisters are in the family?"
"Uh, there are only brothers. There's thirteen, but they don't all live at home."
Erik blinked at her. "Thirteen? And you live with them?"
She gave him a warning look and he held up in hands in a placating gesture. "Most of them are adults and I'm like an adopted little sister to them." Her mind flashed to kissing the triplets and Ukyo. So maybe she wasn't exactly like a little sister to all of them, but childhood friends were somewhat like extended family, right? That was why they'd let her come live with them.
"Only three of the brothers aren't adults yet. Yusuke, Fuuto, and Wataru, who just entered junior high."
"Does Juli like them? He's very protective of you."
"Of course he likes them," she semi-lied. He liked some of them. "Juli's been with me since I was a little girl, remember? He's known the Asahinas as long as I have."
That seemed to comfort Erik and he gave a satisfied nod. She was a little offended that he seemed to trust Juli's opinion over hers about the Asahina brothers—especially since he didn't know that Juli could talk. But she was too amused to be overly offended. "So you're okay with going to my place?"
"So long as you're okay with it," he said.
~.~
Ukyo walked in to find Ema, Yusuke, and a foreigner boy he didn't know sitting at the kitchen table. Yusuke sat at the opposite end of the table from Ema and her companion.
"Ema?" he said cautiously. "Who is this?" He gave the unknown boy a frown. He wanted to tell her that no boys were allowed in the home without an adult around, but Ema had always proved herself responsible, and Yusuke was right there. But him sitting at the other end of the table made it look like he was trying to give Ema and the boy space.
"This is Erik," she said. "He's a transfer student at our school and we're partnered together on an assignment." He relaxed until she added, "We actually met in America while my dad was filming there."
His eyes shot to the boy. He hadn't come here because Ema was here, had he? "And what brings you to Japan?" he asked, hoping his voice was politely curious.
"My uncle transferred here for work, sir," Erik said. "Becoming friends with Ema got me interested in Japanese culture, and I'd already been working on learning the language. It seemed too good an opportunity to pass up." He stood and bowed. "Thank you for allowing me in your home. Ema always spoke very highly of the Asahina family."
Ukyo was torn between being impressed at the boy's politeness and being irritated. Had he really come here just to experience the culture? Or did Ema's presence here have something to do with him coming here?
"Will you be staying for dinner?"
Erik looked at Ema, who then looked at Ukyo. "Would that be okay? We'll get more done if we can work up until dinner."
Ukyo smiled. The more time they spent on their assignment, the quicker they would finish it. And then hopefully this boy would never come back here again. Though maybe since the two were friends that wouldn't be the case. "Of course that's okay. You know you're welcome to have friends over."
He kept his smile in place until he turned away.
~.~
"Hey Ema," Tsubaki greeted, laying a hand on her shoulder and kissing her head. "You bring a friend home today?"
She gave him a confused look. "Kind of. We're partnered together on an assignment and the nearest libraries are closed, so we came here to work."
"Works for me," Tsubaki said. If Ema was spending time with some boy, he'd rather it be at home where nothing could happen then in a secluded corner of a library. "Study away."
Erik's brow wrinkled as he stared at Tsubaki, then his eyes brightened as he said, "You're one of the voice actors Ema loves! That's why I recognize your voice. You must be one of the twins. We watched a couple of your animes together."
Tsubaki stilled, a smile frozen on his face. "Ema comes straight home from school most days. When have you two had time to watch anime together?"
"Oh, he means in the United States," Ema said, a blush on her face. "He transferred to school here when his uncle transferred for work, but we met when my dad was filming in the United States. I shared some of your and Azusa's animes with him."
"Oh, so you two are old friends then," he said, keeping his voice light. Kaname or someone had mentioned something about Ema having a boyfriend while she was abroad. Was it this boy? He hoped not. But, if not, then why had Ema blushed? Tsubaki laid a possessive hand on Ema's shoulder again. "We haven't heard much about the people she met abroad other than her friend Arisa. How nice that we get to meet one of her friends."
"It's nice to meet you too!" Erik said, his eyes as enthusiastic as his voice. "I really liked the anime Ema showed me, so I've watched some of the other stuff you and your brother voiced. You're really talented."
Tsubaki resisted the urge to narrow his eyes. The boy seemed sincere, but Tsubaki still wanted to smack him. Maybe he was misreading things, but Ema had talked about how much it meant to her to hear his and Azusa's voices while she was away. He couldn't help thinking that this boy must be special to Ema if she'd shared Tsubaki's and Azusa's animes with him. That really pissed him off.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it," he said, keeping his smile in place. "It's always nice to meet a fan." He switched his attention to Ema. "Azusa and I heard about a new ice cream place at work today. Come with us this weekend?"
"Sure," she agreed, smiling up at him. He felt his heart ease just a little at her easy agreement. But he still dragged Yusuke away with him. "I need to talk to my little bro for a minute."
"Hey!" Yusuke cried, trying to resist Tsubaki's pull. "I'm doing homework too, you know!"
"This will just take a minute," he assured him, stopping once they were out of earshot.
"What's the relationship between that punk and Ema?"
"They're just friends," Yusuke said, scowling and rubbing his arm. "He eats lunch with us and is working on this assignment with Ema, that's all." He stopped, something else seeming to occur to him as his eyes slid past Tsubaki to Erik. "I guess he does wait by the front gates to say hi to her every morning though."
Tsubaki cursed. "That means he likes her, you idiot," he said, hitting Yusuke. "Why aren't you doing more to keep them apart?"
"That hurt, you jerk! And how do you know that means he likes her? They're friends and they haven't seen each other in over a year. Of course he wants to talk to her, but it's not like Ema's going out of her way to spend time with him, right? They've only gotten together outside of school to work on this project. And I think she only invited him to sit with us at lunch because she felt bad he didn't have anyone to sit with."
Tsubaki glanced behind him at the pair working together. They seemed to get along well enough—but they didn't look overly close. "Fine. But don't let them get too close to each other, okay?"
"How am I supposed to stop that?" Yusuke complained, but Tsubaki was already walking away.
~.~
Ema wondered if the tension at dinner was just her imagination. Erik's upbeat personality drew a lot of people in and he was saying all the right things—asking the brothers questions about themselves, showing genuine interest in them, and answering questions about himself. But she couldn't shake the feeling that something was bothering several of the Asahina brothers. At least Kaname seemed extra cheerful tonight. He was talking with Erik the most.
As she walked Erik to the door that night, he said, "It's easy to tell you've been friends with the Asahinas for a long time. They're really protective of you."
Ema felt a flood of relief. Was that the tension she'd sensed? The brothers being protective of her? "We are really close!" she chirped. "I'm protective of them too, so I'm glad they return the sentiment."
"I'm glad you live in a place with so many people you care about," Erik said, smiling. He hesitated before adding, "And I'm glad you trusted me enough to introduce me to them. Thank you, Ema." He leaned in and before she realized what he was doing, gave her a peck on her cheek. "I'll see you later, okay?" He waved as he bounded down the steps and she waved back. Bemused, she put a hand to her cheek. Had that kiss been meant just as a friend, or as something more?
"I'm glad to see that you two are getting along well," Kaname's amused voice said from behind Ema. She spun around him to see him watching her, his arms crossed over his chest and a smile on his face. "So have you two worked things out?"
"We're not dating," she said. "He was just here because we're working on a project together."
"You two seemed to be pretty close though. And to get along well. He seems like a nice guy other than that he was stupid enough to break up with you. But he did come all this way chasing you, didn't he? That says something about him understanding how big a mistake he made."
Kaname could tell some of his brothers were displeased with Erik's appearance in their house, but he was relieved. Erik and Ema seemed to get along seamlessly, like they just fit together. Aside from enjoying seeing Ema look so bright with someone, he was relieved because if Ema was interested in another guy, that would help him let go of his feelings for her and get past this weird phase of his. He'd never make a move on a girl in a serious relationship. Ema dating this boy would work out perfectly for him.
"Maybe," Ema said, staring outside, though Erik was out of view now. "He's a great guy . . . but he's also part of the reason why I had such poor self-esteem and felt like I wasn't worthwhile." She shook her head. "But maybe that was just my fault."
She went to walk away, but Kaname grabbed her arm. "What do you mean he hurt your self-esteem?" He well remembered the fights they'd had about it. How angry she'd gotten when he'd told her she was pretty. Her claim that a group of guys who hit on her did so because they wanted an easy target and not because they would be genuinely interested in her. "What did he do? I thought it was just Carlos who hurt your self image."
Ema shook her head. "Like I said, maybe I wasn't being unfair. Erik just happened to be at the end of a string of events that made me feel like I wasn't worthwhile."
"Like what?" he demanded, his posture indicating he had no intention of moving until she told him.
She sighed. How any times was she going to have to tell some of these stories? Maybe she should have just held a group meeting with all the Asahina brothers to tell them. "Yeah, some bad crap happened with Carlos, but I also used to make friends a lot of the places my dad and I went. Friends who would shortly stop messaging me after I moved away because apparently I just wasn't good enough for them to bother to keep in contact with once I was no longer physically present."
She wrapped her arms around herself. Maybe she could write it down in story form so the next time someone asked she could just hand them some papers. Maybe it would be therapeutic to write down all her feelings from that time. "That happened again and again. So, I decided that since I wasn't worth anyone staying friends with, I just wouldn't make friends to begin with. It was easier that way. I met Erik after all that. He worked really hard to become my friend, then we started dating. He convinced me that we could make things work long-distance." She shrugged. "But in the end, I wasn't worth enough for him to keep in contact with either."
Kaname's eyes widened as she spoke. He reached for her, but she darted away. He didn't get to hug her after making her bring all that up again. "So, yeah, it turns out that we still get along well. But that doesn't necessarily mean I want to date him again." She left, making sure she stayed out of his reach.
He watched her go, wanting to hit both himself and Erik. He was such an idiot. Ema had looked completely freaked out when he'd told her Erik was here. Obviously she wouldn't have done that if their break-up hadn't been traumatic for her. And here he'd made her relive those memories.
His jaw tightened, glad for Erik's sake that he hadn't known that story while Erik was here. Maybe Ema was right and part of her feelings were just because of the point of her life when Erik had entered it. But if he'd had to work so hard to become Ema's friend, he should have known how devasted she would be when he broke up with her. And now he was back seeking forgiveness. And a relationship.
He didn't deserve Ema. All this made Kaname want to steal Ema away and show her how a woman should properly be treated. Not that he had a right to have thoughts like that with his multiple girlfriends. But he wished he had that right. Ema deserved to have a man cherish her and he couldn't shake the annoying thought that he didn't want that man to be anyone but him.
A/N: Lol, call back to Intricate Relations much? I kind of stole the study scene at the Asahina's home from that series, but it fit well here.
