A/N: Thanks so much for all the reviews! I love hearing that my story makes readers fangirl
Chapter 23: Escape
It was a few days after Christmas and Ema was holed up in her room rather than spending time with her family as she normally did this time of year. Usually, she adored this time of year because it meant most of the family was home together, but this year…Ema sighed and hugged her pillow as she sat cross-legged on her bed. She was bored and miserable, but she didn't want to go out there.
Everyone seemed like they were walking on pins and needles around Ema. Either because they were waiting for Ema to give them an answer to their feelings, or because they seemed worried about how Ema was reacting to this new pressure from her stepbrothers. The only two who seemed oblivious to the cause of the tension were Wataru and Yusuke, who couldn't figure out why everyone was acting strangely.
Finally, Ema come up with a brilliant idea of how to get out of the house. Grabbing her phone, Ema texted Natsume and asked if she could go over to his apartment. She received back a text informing her that he was still at work, but he was fine with Ema going over now. Ema responded with a thanks and a promise that she would make him dinner tonight. He answered that he was looking forward to it, but in no way wanted Ema to feel obligated to do so.
Ema hopped out of bed and slipped her shoes on before texting Kaname that she was going to Natsume's and then fleeing Sunrise Mansion.
Ema felt much better on the train ride over to Natsume's apartment. She'd been spending a lot more time by herself lately, trying to think things through, but she was tired of struggling to come up with a solution to her problem. No matter how much she thought about it, her mind just went around in circles, afraid that any choice she made might ruin their family dynamic. A part of her had hoped that everything would just go away if she ignored it, but she knew that was childish thinking.
~.~
When Natsume arrived home, Ema was just taking dinner out of the oven. "Welcome home, Natsume-kun," she said, smiling at him.
His heart thumped at her words. He really loved hearing those words from her. However, some of Natsume's pleasure at seeing Ema was taken by the fact that her smile looked a little forced, and she seemed tired.
"Is everything okay?" He asked as they sat down to eat. "Did anything happen at home?"
"No," Ema immediately denied, looking at the chicken in the middle of the table rather than at Natsume.
Azusa had already told Natsume that things were tense at home, though he hadn't elaborated on the reason. Natsume wondered if Ema's appearance here had anything to do with what was going on at home. "Are you sure?" Natsume asked. "I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything."
Ema nodded, looking down at the table. "I know," she said quietly.
Natsume watched Ema with concern and almost let it go since she seemed so reluctant to talk, but this was the first time that Ema had used the key that Natsume gave her to his apartment. For her to come here on her own and use it, Natsume feared that something was really wrong. However, he obviously wasn't going to get anything out of her right now, so he decided to set the matter aside for the moment.
After dinner, Natsume put in the game Zombie Apocalypse and the two battled hoards of the undead, fighting to protect the doctors searching for a cure. After a while, Natsume paused the screen, but continued to stare at it. Ema peeked over at him, waiting for him to say or do something. Finally, she tentatively asked, "Is something wrong, Natsume-kun?"
"Well, according to Azusa, something's been going on at home that has made things tense." He finally looked over at Ema, grateful that she was looking at him now rather than avoiding his gaze as she'd done during dinner. "You have always been there to comfort me when I've gone through hard times. I'd like to be able to do the same for you, but I can't if you won't talk to me."
Ema looked down at her controller, idly messing with the buttons. "Tsubaki, Azusa, Subaru, and Fuuto…they all told me that…I mean they…" Natsume stayed silent as Ema struggled, worried that if he interrupted it would make talking even harder for her. "They're all interested in me."
"Interested in you?" Natsume asked in confusion, then regretted his words when Ema's face flamed bright red and her gaze went back to the floor.
"As a girlfriend," she said quietly. "Or as a potential girlfriend, anyway. They all asked me out."
Natsume stared at Ema in shock and mentally went over the brothers that she'd listed. Tsubaki and Azusa. Fuuto. Subaru. All romantically interested in Ema.
"I've always viewed all the Asahina's as my precious family," Ema said, "and I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm supposed to be their sister."
Natsume could barely hear Ema's words as jealousy rose up inside him. How long had this been going on for? What all had he missed by living away for home? While he hadn't been paying attention, his brothers had been falling in love with Ema. They were close to her every single day while Natsume had no idea what was going on. Had any of them made a move on Ema other than telling Ema their feelings for her? Tsubaki almost certainly had. And Fuuto. Azusa and Subaru would be lower key in expressing their feelings. Subaru. How could Natsume have fallen for the same girl as his favorite brother? He remembered Subaru's sudden dip and then rise in performance on the basketball court a while ago and wondered if it had anything to do with Ema.
Looking at Ema's crestfallen face, Natsume pushed thoughts of Subaru and of his jealousy aside. Ema was obviously upset and he wanted to do something for her. But what? He wished he could offer Ema his apartment as a safe haven from all this, but doing so didn't feel right when he himself held romantic feelings for Ema. He tried to finds words to comfort Ema instead.
"I'm sorry, Ema," he began, "that things have turned out differently from what you expected and that it's hurting and confusing you, but please don't think badly of us Asahinas for it." He included himself in that. "Try to imagine that you have this one person in your life who has always offered their support to you and done so much for you. They're such an intrinsic part of your life and of who you've become that you can't imagine life without them, so you always want them by your side.
"In addition to that, relationships between brothers can sometimes be tricky as they get older and new things come in between them, even if the brothers have always been close. You saw that happen with Tsubaki and Azusa, but this person who has always supported you, steps in and helps you relate to each other. Helps you mediate and protect your relationship with one another. How would you feel about that person?"
"I guess I kind of see what you mean," Ema admitted, looking at Natsume again. "But for me, when you describe someone like that, I just think of family. Maybe if I had met any of them as friends and went to school with them, I might think differently, but that's not how things happened."
"Well, I'm afraid that guys are baser than girls," Natsume joked. "Where a girl might think family, guys think girlfriend. That's probably where part of the difference in thought comes from."
They sat in silence for a bit before Natsume asked, "What do you want to do now, Ema?"
Ema sighed and shrugged. "This whole time I've been doing nothing but running away because I don't know what to do. Even if I did fall in love with any of them I'd be afraid to look at them as a boyfriend because it might damage their relationship with their brothers. What would Tsubaki do if I chose Azusa? Or Azusa if I chose Tsubaki?"
Just hearing those words made Natsume cringe inside. He hated the thought of seeing Ema with any of his brothers. Or with any males, he should say. "Them being jealous of each while they fight for your affection might not be the best thing for them either," he pointed out. "I'm not trying to rush you or to guilt you into making a decision, or to push you in any particular direction, it's just something to think about. You shouldn't feel pressured to make a decision right away while you're feeling so confused. If you don't know your own feelings, then you might regret the decision that you make. If our brothers aren't willing to wait for your response, then they're not worth your time."
"Thanks, Natsume-kun," Ema said with a grateful smile. "Both for what you said and for letting me come here."
"Of course," Natsume answered sincerely, happy that even though Ema hadn't immediately been willing to tell him about her troubles, she'd still come to his apartment when she was upset.
"You're coming with us to the shrine for New Years, right?" Ema asked hopefully. "I think that things might be a little less awkward if you're there."
"Yes, I'll be there," Natsume promised. He wished that he could tell Ema about his feelings for her. It almost felt like lying to have this conversation with her without letting her know that he wanted her to, but now obviously wasn't the time to tell her. He hoped that the time when he could tell her would come soon.
~.~
On New Year's Eve, Subaru found Ema alone in the courtyard by the tree. "Hey Ema-chan, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked.
"Sure," Ema said hesitatingly, half-thinking that she should stop agreeing to talk to people. Or, more specifically, her stepbrothers whenever they approached her like this. However, Subaru had already confessed his feelings to Ema and told her that he was willing to wait for her answer.
Subaru stuck his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground. "I've been scouted for a professional basketball team," he said.
Ema gasped. "That's wonderful, Subaru-kun!" She exclaimed, resisting the urge to throw her arms around him. She wanted to do something celebratory, but apparently she was good at sending the wrong message to her stepbrothers. "When do you start?"
"I haven't accepted the offer yet," Subaru admitted, still staring at the ground.
"Why not?" Ema asked in confusion. "Are you hoping to join a different team?"
Subaru shook his head. "The team that scouted me is in Kyushu. If I joined than I'd have to travel a lot and I don't want to leave you." He was afraid of what might happen while he was away. There were plenty of other guys after Ema, most of them living in the same house as her. What chance would Subaru have if he weren't even here?
"Subaru, this has always been your dream," Ema said gently. "I've seen the video of you as a little boy practicing basketball with Natsume-kun and saying that you're going to be a basketball star someday. You have worked so hard to get here. If you back away now, it will have all been for nothing." Ema made her voice firm. "You shouldn't be thinking about things like your relationship with me right now, you should be thinking about what's best for you. Besides, if something happened and we did end up in a relationship and our feelings for each other were real, the distance wouldn't matter. Just look at Mom and Dad. They both travel all the time, but they still really love each other. They make it work."
Subaru nodded, looking both gloomy and grateful. "I get what you mean." He hated the thought of leaving Ema, but it wouldn't impress her if he gave up on all his hard work and his dream now—and it wouldn't impress himself either. Her words almost reminded him of what Natsume would say in a situation like this. He tried to push that thought away, already dreading the thought of moving away from Ema when the time came.
~.~
As Ema was doing the dinner dishes with Wataru that night, Louis came home, looking more dazed and distracted than usual. "Welcome home, Louie-nii," Ema greeted. "There's some leftover dinner in the fridge for you."
Louis seemed not to hear Ema as he continued to trudge through the living room.
"Hey, Louis," Tsubaki called from the couch. "That makeover show you love is on. Do you want to watch it? My anime just finished, so I'm done with the TV."
Louis's eyes flickered over to Tsubaki, but he just shook his head.
"Did something happen today, Louis-kun?" Ema asked in concern. She'd never seen Louis turn down his favorite TV show before. He always tried to watch it if he was home when it was on.
Louis gave Ema a distracted smile. "I just had something weird happen at work today. Don't worry about me."
Despite Louis' words, Ema watched Louis until he went out of sight, heading down the hall. She wondered what could have happened at work that upset him so much and why he wasn't willing to tell her.
Louis continued his shuffling walk until he reached Kaname's room. Kaname had often been there for Louis in the past whenever Louis was struggling, and Kaname was the one Louis felt most comfortable talking about this with. He knocked and then entered when Kaname called for him to come in.
Kaname looked up from his book and seemed surprised to see Louis. "What's up Louie?" He asked, gesturing for Louis to sit down on his bed.
Louis sat down and just stared at his hands. Kaname watched him in concern, but stayed silent, waiting until Louis felt ready to talk.
"A man came into the salon today," Louis finally said. "He works for my father. My biological father."
Kaname's eyes widened in surprise and he leaned back against his headboard. He'd never heard anything about Louis' father before. He didn't know if Louis had any memories of his first family or how he felt about them
"He said that my dad wants me to come back to France to meet him. And I don't mean just for a small visit. My dad wants me to go to France and stay there so that he and I can get to know each other."
Louis fell back into silence and Kaname finally asked. "And how do you feel about that?"
Louis sighed and leaned back on his palms, tilting his head to stare at the ceiling. "I don't know. I want to say that he gave me up. He didn't want me, but I don't really know the story behind why I was put up for adoption. But…I can't deny that I am upset. And why come now? Well," Louis gave a bitter half-laugh, "why send someone now. He didn't even bother to come himself. Apparently, he owns some big company and couldn't find the time to come out here himself to ask the son he gave away to come get to know him."
Kaname's heart ached for his younger brother. It was so rare to see the easy-going man upset. At least, these days it was. Louis had more trouble when he was younger. Being the only adopted member of the family, Louis used to sometimes feel like he had trouble fitting in. Kaname remembered reaching out to Louis to try to make him feel more welcome and like he belonged. He'd always tried to be subtle about it so that Louis never thought Kaname was just taking pity on him, because he certainly hadn't been.
"And there's also Ema," Louis said, surprising Kaname. "I'd hate to leave her with things so crazy right now. I know how hard all this is for her and I want her to have someone who she feels like she can one hundred percent turn to if she needs to talk." He turned his head to look at Kaname. "Not that I think I'm the only one who can play that role for her, but I do worry."
Kaname almost felt ashamed at Louis' words. For a moment he thought he was going to hear Louis confess that he was in love with Ema and didn't want to leave Japan because of that, but Louis was only concerned about Ema's welfare. Both Louis and Masaomi had been the most concerned about Ema and the ones who did the most to try to shelter her. Kaname needed to learn from their example and be a better brother.
"That's sweet of you to think of Ema, but you should also think of yourself," Kaname advised Louis. "You never know what will happen in the future and this may end up being your only chance to meet your biological father. If this is something that you want to do, or that you think you need to do, I think that you should go. Like you said, there are others here who can be a shoulder for Ema to lean on if she needs it."
