Takes place during "George" and "Bombed".
Enjoy!
After another day of surgery, no one expects the day to go any worse than all the others. Frank and Margaret visit with one of the soldiers, and Frank has to congratulate on of the men's heroism. The soldier, Weston thanks them and immediately deflects any comments about the bruises on his face. The next afternoon, since Weston is fine, he takes to strolling the compound and sidles next to Hawkeye. They start to have a conversation, and Weston begs to be let back in the front with his troop. Told in confidence about the young man's sexuality, Hawkeye does his best to keep it a secret. However, he cannot keep himself from telling Trapper. Then, Frank finds out and immediately goes to have his rotation changed. During lunch, Radar informs Frank that the rotation is changed causing Margaret to ask why.
"'He said it gave him the willies to be around him'," Radar states.
"'His pulse did the cha cha every time he went to him'," Hawkeye teases causing Frank to immediately go on the defense. It only takes a few minutes for Frank to leave with Margaret close behind.
"How could you do that to this boy? Someone could do this just as easily to you!" The nurse declares in her tent ten minutes later. "What makes you think you can do that to him?"
"Weston? Well, he's go to go. The army cannot keep men like that," Frank states staying true to his rehearsal. Hands on her hips, Margaret asks, "Men like you? Why is this such a big deal to you?"
Frank is quiet for a while making Margaret suspect which she says out loud, "Frank, do you like this man?"
The Major's lack of response tells the nurse everything she needs to know. Softly, Frank states, "He can't be here. I can't be myself around him."
"You mean you can't be yourself to him with everyone else around."
Frank nods, and is soon back to typical Frank Burns stating, "I need to talk to the Colonel."
Margaret watches her friend leave and feels awful for him. She knows what it is like to hide, but thinks Frank is taking this a little too far.
Colonel Blake unfortunately becomes the next victim of Frank's tirade. When he is told that Weston is a homosexual, the Colonel asks, "'Has the man made a pass at you? At anyone?'"
When Frank says no, Colonel Blake tells him to let the matter drop not seeing a problem with a soldier who wants to go back to the front. Instead, Frank decides to go over his head. That night, as Frank tries to sign the papers in his tent, he hears Trapper and Hawkeye argue over if he is right or not.
"'Lay off Frank. You're just sore because he's right'," Trapper remarks. Wondering what he is right about, Frank questions them. Finally, he comes to understand that he is correct in his proceedings toward Weston.
"'Condemning someone for something that's his own business'," Hawkeye accuses before turning to Trapper and calling his a hypocrite. Frank is worried wondering if Hawkeye finally knows about his secret. Instead, Hawkeye outs Trapper's paying for medical exam answers before turning to Frank.
"'And you had the dumb nerve to judge someone else?'" Hawkeye questions.
"'If you say anything, I'll deny it'," Frank replies scared that the man really knows. Feeling completely guilty, the Major tears up the documents. Later, Trapper sits in a chair drinking his lighter fluid martini commenting on how well Hawkeye condemns him and comments on how his life is far from perfect.
"'You don't have to lie to me'," Trapper remarks to which Hawkeye deflects knowing he has to. He wants to tell his friend about Margaret, but knows it only needs to be between him, Margaret, and reluctantly, Frank.
A few days later, the camp finds out it is being shelled by its own people prompting the camp to either find cover or become stuck in whatever building they happen to be in. Unfortunately for Margaret, she is stuck in supply with Trapper who graciously never tries anything on her. Going with Frank to find them a couple hours later, the men finally settle on Supply. However, when the door is barricaded shut, the men are forced to kick it open. Once the door is down, the men notice their bunk mate and their Head Nurse are huddled together under a blanket.
"'Hello, hello, hello!'" Hawkeye greets in a terrible Cary Grant impersonation as he stares at his wife and best friend wondering if he needs to be jealous or not.
"'Oh, we uh, came in here for supplies and a shell hit and the door jammed'," Margaret explains as she tries to free herself from the blanket.
"'Oh, that's good for starters'," Hawkeye replies evenly quickly overshadowed by Frank's outburst. Grabbing her helmet, Margaret repeats her statement and runs out of supply. Left with Trapper and Frank in their tent as they create a survival kit, Hawkeye is more than happy when Frank asks about how much of a gentleman Trapper was to Margaret. He figures his wife keeps things tame and nothing happens, but a part of him is curious. Sometimes, he wants to tell Trapper about him and Margaret, but knows how many people it takes to keep a secret.
As they do surgery an hour later, Radar graciously turns on the radio on for them to work by, but are inundated with propaganda. After hearing for the fourth time that their wives or girlfriends are dating other guys back home, Hawkeye looks at his wife who is also his current surgery partner and asks, "Is that true?"
Margaret has to look at her husband's face to see there is no malice in his words especially after the sight he sees in the supply tent. Smirking from behind her mask, Margaret answers, "No. Some women are over here with their husbands and boyfriends."
"And ne'er the two shall meet," Hawkeye adds before asking his wife for an instrument.
Complaining about doing chest surgery, Frank looks over at Hawkeye who is at a station behind him. Asking what the problem is, Hawkeye realizes it is the wrong answer when Frank tries to weasel his way out of doing the surgery.
"'Frank, Trapper tried. No dice. He's all yours'," Hawkeye states.
"'I have no idea what you're talking about'," Frank remarks thinking for a split second Margaret blabs about his sexuality to Hawkeye. The Chief Surgeon merely gives his wife a confused look. She shrugs and they continue with their work.
Review!
