A/N: thank you so much for your reviews! I didn't expect to get so many! Some of you are not my biggest fans right, and I totally understand! I've worked hard today to try and get this written but I don't think you guys are going to like me just yet! I kind of am really excited for the next few chapters so I'm hoping to get them written and posted as soon as I can. Please bear with me! I haven't really proof-read this chapter so if there are any major errors, please let me know! I will fix them!
Also there is trigger warning for abuse in this chapter, it's the last like 6 paragraphs maybe? It's the last two big paragraphs of the story. I've put a TW just before it just in case.
Enjoy!
Chapter 17:
A few days after Callie ended things with Arizona, she realised that she still had some of Arizona's things at the house. After staring at her phone for hours trying to decide if she should call or text, she typed and retyped a text message letting Arizona know that the house would be empty for a few hours the next day. As soon as the message was sent, Callie threw her phone down on the bed and went downstairs. If Arizona did text back, Callie wasn't sure if she wanted to read it just yet.
"Has she emerged yet," Callie joked to Mark as she sat down on the couch next to him.
"Not yet. I think I heard her go to the bathroom before, so I think she's still alive," Mark joked back as he put the paper he was reading down. "Will you be okay when I leave?"
"No," Callie admitted as tears fell down her cheeks. "I feel like I've lost Arizona and Sofia. It's not like she can ignore me forever, right?"
Mark sighed as he put his arm around Callie's shoulders and pulled her close. They had both seen the look in Sofia's eyes when she realised what had happened. They had both heard her crying in her room on and off for the last few days. He knew that Sofia had been mad at her mother before, but she had never experienced heartbreak herself. This wasn't going to be something that Sofia just got over like she had in the past.
"She's determined, like you, I wouldn't put it past her."
"What are the odds of her coming with us to the airport to drop you off? I messaged Arizona to let her know that we would be out tomorrow so she could come and get her stuff."
"I would suggest a buffer for when I'm not there," Mark laughed, "otherwise there will be no one to witness your murder."
Callie laughed but she knew he was right. Sofia was more likely to agree to coming if they weren't going to be alone for too long. Giving Sofia some space was the only thing Callie thought would help at the moment. Maybe Alex would let them come over for a bit until it was safe to come home. He might be the only other person Sofia would be willing to come around.
Deciding that was going to be the plan, Callie headed back upstairs to call Alex and see if he was working tomorrow. As she passed Sofia's room, she cracked the door slightly and informed her daughter of their plans for tomorrow. Not getting a reply, Callie closed the door and made her way back to her room. Her stomach was in knots knowing that she was about to check her phone. She didn't know what would be worse. A reply or no reply at all. Pushing that feeling down, she found her phone on her bed to see that she had no new notifications.
Yeah, no reply was definitely worse.
Callie didn't know what she had expected though. She was the one who ended things. Arizona didn't owe her anything. Part of her was hopeful that Arizona would fight hard for her, see through her fear and not let her break things off. Part of her knew that was unfair to put all of that on Arizona. Part her knew how stupid she was to end things when that wasn't what she wanted.
After a tearful goodbye at the airport, mostly from Mark and Sofia, the mother and daughter headed over to Alex's for lunch. During their phone call the previous day, Callie decided not to tell Alex why they needed to come over. As soon as Callie and Sofia were alone, Sofia went back to being silent, barely making eye contact with her mother. It had been almost five days since she had said anything to Callie, and it was to the point now where she wasn't even sure what to say. Sofia knew that Callie was putting on a brave face for her, giving her time and space to grieve the loss of Arizona from their lives. That didn't mean that she was ready to forgive her mother or hear about why.
Pulling into the driveway, Callie turned the car off and turned to her daughter. She wasn't confident that Sofia was even going to respond.
"Alex doesn't know what happened," Callie told her. "I didn't tell him when I called yesterday."
Silence.
"I'm going to head in so you can come and join us when you're ready," Callie said to her daughter before getting out of the car. Once the door was shut, Callie took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. She had to be strong. For Sophia. She also didn't want to talk to Alex about it because she knew exactly what he would say.
Once she had composed herself enough, she plastered a smile on her face and knocked on the front door. A loud 'it's open' was heard through the door and Callie let herself in. Walking through the house, Callie found Alex in the kitchen, grilling some steaks.
"I thought I should be a good host and cook some lunch. It's nothing fancy," Alex smiled, holding up a pair of tongs.
"Thanks, Karev," Callie smiled back, giggling at his pose.
"Where's Squirt?"
"In the car, she'll be in soon."
"Teenagers," Alex chuckled to himself before going back to cooking.
While they waited for lunch to cook, Alex caught Callie up on the hospital drama she missed while she was away. They hadn't seen each other enough at work to have a proper catch up. Every time they had surgery together, they couldn't gossip in case they were talking about someone who was in the OR with them. It was a nice distraction for Callie. For the first time in days she wasn't thinking about Arizona.
Just as Alex was serving up lunch, they heard the front door open and close, signalling that Sofia was finally ready to join them.
"What's up her butt," Karev asked after Sofia stormed past them, ignoring both adults.
"She's angry at me," Callie answered.
"What did you do?"
"Broke up with Arizona."
Alex just stared at his friend. That was not the answer he had been expecting. Of all the things he thought Sofia and Callie would fight about, that was the last thing he would have guessed. Especially because Arizona and Callie had seemed so happy. They had seemed so good together.
"I'm on her side."
"Whose side," Callie asked, confused.
"Sofia's side. I'm mad at you now as well."
"Thanks, asshole," Callie said, punching his shoulder.
"Did she cheat on you?"
"What?"
"Did she cheat on you," Alex asked again. "It's the only reason I can think of that would be good enough for you to end it with blondie."
"No, she didn't cheat on me," Callie answered, "it just, didn't work out."
Alex scoffed at Callie's answer. Everyone could see how in love the two were. The people who didn't get the message were Callie and Arizona.
The topic of her breakup wasn't brought up again. Alex was able to convince Sofia to at least sit at the table with them while they ate. He managed to get some one-word answers from her before she had enough and took herself into the living room to wait for her mother to be finished.
Callie fought off the constant need to be checking her phone to see if Arizona had messaged. After two hours of annoying Alex, Callie decided it was probably safe to go home. Calling out to Sofia, the two said their goodbyes and then headed home. As they approached their driveway, Callie held her breath, hoping to see it empty and not see Arizona's car sitting there. Once she could see the empty driveway, Callie let go of her breath and said a silent prayer.
"Thanks for coming with me," Arizona said to Teddy as they pulled into the driveway of her ex-girlfriend's house.
"Anytime. Have you spoken to her?" Teddy asked.
"No. I typed maybe 50 different responses to her text yesterday, but I couldn't bring myself to send them. I don't want to start a conversation with her."
"Why not?"
Arizona didn't answer. She didn't have to. Teddy knew that if they started talking, Arizona would take Callie back or try and get back together with her. She wasn't sure if she could handle being rejected again. It had taken Teddy 3 days of constantly calling and knocking on her door before Arizona relented and let her in.
"You ready," Teddy asked, a reassuring hand squeezing her thigh.
"No," Arizona answered, a tear falling down her cheek. "But once it's done, it's done."
"You got this Robbins!"
"Let's go," Arizona said taking a deep breath and giving Teddy the biggest fake smile ever.
"If it makes you feel better, we could steal some stuff or like move things around? You know, mess with her a little bit," Teddy suggested.
"No," Arizona laughed, "I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't want to risk being here still when they get home.
Once Arizona found the spare key and let them in, Teddy held her hand as they walked into the office. Neither Callie nor Arizona ever did work in there, but it stored their work things when they weren't using them. They preferred to work together in the lounge room or at the dining room table instead of locked away in the tiny room. The memories brought a smile to Arizona's face before she realised that they will never happen again.
"I think I have mostly education texts in the office and my laptop," Arizona told Teddy as they walked into the room.
"Where else do we have to get stuff from?"
"Um, Callie's bedroom and the bathroom, maybe the laundry," Arizona answered as she went through the bookshelf.
"Want me to come up with you to get your stuff from the bedroom?"
"Uh, no," Arizona shook her head, "I think I need to do that by myself. Can you take this stuff out to the car and I'll go up and start in the bedroom?"
Teddy nodded and took the things from the office out to the car. Once Arizona was sure Teddy was outside, she slowly made her way up the stairs towards Callie's bedroom. As she passed Sofia's room, she quickly opened the door and looked inside. She thought back to the times she had consoled a crying Sofia or when she had come up to get Sofia for dinner and suddenly the two of them were laughing on her bed. As she felt tears prickling her eyes, she closed the door and headed to the bedroom she had shared with Callie.
Entering the room, Arizona was overwhelmed with emotion. It smelled like Callie. She walked over and ran her hand over the pillows that they used to share. Arizona laughed at herself as she started crying. Wiping away the tears, she moved over to her side of the bed and started pulling out all of her things. She put the pile of her belongings on the bed before she moved to the dresser to collect her clothes. Opening the drawers, she let fingers trace over some of Callie's clothes. She reached in and pulled out a sweater, bringing the item to her face and breathing in Callie's scent. She had hoped that it would make her feel better, bring her some comfort but it only made her heartache more.
"I grabbed some more boxes for you," Teddy announced as she walked into the bedroom.
Hearing her best friend's voice, Arizona quickly put the sweater away and wiped away her tears.
"Uh thanks," Arizona replied, still not turning around. "I put some of my things on the bed so they can go into the box."
"Arizona are you okay," Teddy asked, noticing that Arizona wasn't turning around.
Pausing at Teddy's question, Arizona gave her answer good thought. The immediate answer was no, she was not okay, but it was more than that. She was sick of being sad about it. It had almost been a week and she still cried at the drop of a hat. Arizona wasn't sure why she was sad. She should be angry with Callie. After everything they had been through, she just threw it away like it was nothing, like she was nothing.
"I'm fine," Arizona answered, "I'm fine."
Before she could say anything else, Teddy was at her side pulling her in for a hug. Once Teddy's arms were tightly around she sobbed, letting out her sadness and her anger.
"It's okay to not be okay, Arizona," Teddy tried console her best friend, "it's okay to miss her."
"I miss her so much," Arizona sobbed, "I miss her, and I hate her but most of all I love her, Teddy. I love her so much and she just destroyed my heart like it was nothing."
"I know, sweetie, I know," Teddy cooed as she stroked Arizona's hair trying to calm her down.
Once Arizona calmed down enough to stop sobbing, they finished packing up her things so that they weren't there when Callie got home.
The slamming of the front door and then feet stomping up the stairs informed Callie that Sofia was home from school. This had been their routine every day for the last week. The first week of school was okay. Callie and Sofia had gotten to the point that when Callie asked a question, Sofia would give her answer. Granted they were usually one word, but it was progress from silence. This week though, Sofia had gone right back to completely shutting Callie out.
What Callie didn't know was that Arizona had taken some time off work. All anyone knew was that it was personal matter, and most assumed it had to do with her family. Sofia knew better. Daniel had messaged her to ask how she was almost as soon as Arizona had gone on leave. She figured that Arizona had gone home to mend her broken heart surrounded by family. Sofia had started to come to terms with everything and the fact that Arizona wasn't at school meant that Sofia didn't have avoid her or have any awkwardness around her. However, Arizona was coming back to school the next day and Sofia was worried, she'd been worried about this all week.
Sitting at the dinner table, Callie and Sofia sat in silence. Callie had tried to ask Sofia how her day was but all she got in response was a look that should have killed her. It had been almost a month since they broke up and Callie felt like Sofia was still punishing her for it.
"You need to talk to me Sofia, you can't give me the silent treatment forever," Callie said angrily to Sofia who was staring at her food.
Sofia continued to play with her food, only actually eating something when she felt her mother's eyes boring a hole into her head. This month had been torture for Sofia. She flicked from being sad to angry back to sad at the flick of a switch. She couldn't seem to control her emotions. She'd never had her heart broken before, but she figured it felt a little like this.
"Right, if you aren't going to talk then you need to listen. I get you're upset that I broke up with Arizona, but you don't get to lock me out because you don't agree with my decision. It was mine and Arizona's relationship, not yours."
Sofia snapped her head up at her mother's last sentence. She wasn't wrong, it was her and Arizona's relationship, but she always forgets that Sofia develops relationships with the people her mother chooses to date. Up until now she never really had great relationships with any of them. Arizona was different though. Sofia knew that Arizona legitimately cared about her and was interested in her. Callie and Arizona may have been in the relationship, but Sofia had gotten attached. She wasn't used to this.
"You always seem to forget that your relationships have an effect on me, whether you like it or not. I like Arizona, I loved having her around. She actually cared about us. Not just you but us, both of us. I'm allowed to feel however I feel about you deciding that you don't want someone in my life anymore."
"She can still be in your life Sofia, you don't have to not see her anymore," Callie argued.
"I can't believe you pushed away the one good person who has ever come into our lives," Sofia scoffed.
"Sofia," Callie begged.
"I'm not hungry anymore, I'm going to bed," Sofia announced as got up and left the table.
Feeling a bit better after slamming her door, Sofia threw herself on her bed and wrapped her arms around her pillow, clutching it tightly. She knew that she shouldn't have spoken to her mum that way, but she was just so angry and hurt. And sad. She wondered if this is what heartbreak felt like. She knew that she could see Arizona around school, but it wouldn't be the same and it would definitely be weird if she started hanging out with her mum's ex-girlfriend. After days of bottling everything in, Sofia finally let the tears she had been holding fall down her face. She was crying so hard into her pillow that she didn't hear her bedroom door open as Callie entered.
"Sof," Callie said softly as she sat on the edge of the bed watching her daughter cry.
"I miss her so much Mama," Sofia cried as sat up and fell into Callie's embrace, her body shuddering with sobs.
"I know, Nena, I miss her too," Callie admitted softly, tears falling down her cheeks. She did. She really missed Arizona.
"What if I see her at school tomorrow?"
Callie sighed. She had figured that the thought of running into Arizona at school would be on Sofia's mind. She was sure that Arizona didn't hate Sofia and definitely wouldn't take her feelings towards Callie out of Sofia.
"Then, you smile or say hi. Arizona loves you Sof," Callie tried to reassure her.
Walking through the corridor to her locker, Sofia's stomach was doing flips. Today was Arizona's first day back. Sofia was nervous to see how the blonde was and if things were going to be awkward between them. They still had to spend 4 classes a week together and now she was a Junior, their classes were getting smaller which meant there was no way to avoid speaking or being in close proximity. Unfortunately, today was the day she had her bio med double period with Arizona, as her last class of the day. That meant she had the whole day to worry and play out different scenarios in her head about how it was going to go.
"Hey," Naomi said quietly to Sofia. Sofia jumped. The greeting from her best friend had frightened her out of her thoughts. "Oh, sorry. What are you thinking so hard about?"
"Nothing," Sofia said, shaking her head.
"Robbins is here today. I walked past her office earlier. She looks different," Naomi whispered so no one would hear. "She kind of looks like you. Like a robot."
"Jeez, thanks," Sofia sarcastically as she started to get her things out of her locker.
"Sorry, I was just saying. Maybe talking to her would be a good thing," Naomi shrugged her shoulders. "Like talking how you used to, you know, before."
Sofia couldn't help it. She slammed her locker shut and just stared at the door. She took a few deep, calming breaths as anger flowed through her veins at her best friends' suggestion. She knew Naomi was just trying to help but she wasn't there yet.
"And what do you think I should say," Sofia hissed. "Sorry my mum broke up with you and destroyed you, but can we pretend like I'm not a constant reminder of the woman you loved and pretend everything is okay?"
Naomi stared at Sofia in shock.
"I'm sorry Sof…"
"Whatever Naomi. I'm going to be late for class," Sofia said angrily before storming off to class, not even waiting for her best friend to come with her.
The day went by slowly, deathly slow. Sofia swore that some higher up being was taking pleasure in drawing this day out for her. She felt bad for snapping at Naomi, but she wasn't quite ready to apologise. It seemed that she just kept digging herself into a deeper ditch. It was starting to feel impossible to crawl out of, and she was going to have to do some grovelling when she was finally out of her funk.
She knew Naomi kept looking over to her but was too afraid to ask her if she was okay. Sofia was hoping that Naomi was taking notes and would share them with her. In every single one of her classes she was too distracted to concentrate.
"Sofia," Naomi, called out as she chased her best friend down the hallway. "Stop! Just wait for me!"
Sofia had managed to avoid her friends all day. She decided to have lunch out at the quad instead of in the cafeteria and she sat away from her friends in the classes they shared today. Naomi finally caught up to her and stood in front of her, trying to block her. Every time Sofia tried to sidestep her, Naomi blocked her.
"I get it okay. I'm sorry about what I said this morning. It was insensitive but don't shut me out! I know you aren't talking to anyone about how you're feeling right now," Naomi said.
"Did Ma really call you and update you on my break down?"
"No, she text me and told me to keep an eye on you. I didn't need a text though. You've been avoiding everyone; you barely talk when you do hang out with us. Talk to me!"
"I can't," Sofia yelled.
"Why?" Naomi questioned, knowing she was pushing Sofia.
"Because if I start talking about it I know I'm going to cry and I don't want to cry anymore!"
"You're allowed to be sad, Sofia. I don't care if you cry every 2 minutes just as long as you're crying on my shoulder instead of running away," Naomi confessed.
Sofia stared at her best friend. She figured she as going to get yelled at, but she didn't think that Naomi was going to say that. It took her moment to comprehend what her friend was saying. Once it finally sunk in, some of the anger that Sofia had been holding onto disappear.
"I'm sorry," Sofia whispered, her eyes staring at the ground.
"You don't need to apologise to me," Naomi told her. "Sof, you gotta talk to your mum. If you can't talk to her, then talk to Robbins. They're probably both struggling as much as you are."
"I don't even know how I'm going to sit through bio med with her today, let alone talk to her."
"Just say what's on your mind, she'll understand. You gotta cut your mum some slack. I know you're mad at her, but she needs you right now. I'm not saying don't be angry with her, just, talk to her about it," Naomi suggested.
"Fine," Sofia finally relented. "I'll talk to someone."
"You're infuriating, you know that right," Naomi chuckled.
"I've been told once or twice," Sofia joked back. "Thanks."
"Whatever, nerd. We need to get to bio med. I'm sure Robbins has been looking forward to class as much as you have."
Walking to class, Arizona was talking herself up. She needed to get through the next 90 minutes and then she could go home, curl up on the couch and eat ice-cream for dinner. She had been dreading this class all day. 90 minutes of teaching Sofia, who only served as a reminder of the woman who pushed her away. She was feeling a lot better about it all now, her mum helped her start to mend her heart, but that didn't mean she wanted to spend a tonne of time with Sofia when she wasn't fully healed. Sofia would know what had happened and Arizona had no idea if she was going to be mad at her or Callie. Sofia was never one to hide how she was feeling. With a deep breath she entered the classroom and started to get ready for the arrival of her class.
The next 90 minutes went by faster than Arizona or Sofia could have hoped. Things were awkward at first, but neither really went out of their way to interact. It was like a silent agreement they both made during one of the only times they made eye contact. Sofia refrained from putting hand too many times when answering questions, instead, she tried to give the answers to Naomi so that she could answer them. Towards the end of the lesson, Sofia even managed to gather enough courage to ask a question about something that Arizona was explaining to them.
As Sofia was packing up her things, she looked up to Naomi who mouth "talk to her". Slowing down how she was packing her bags, Sofia took deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves. Quickly looking up, Sofia saw that Arizona was talking to the only other student in the room. She patiently waited until the student before she stood up from her desk.
"Sofia," Arizona said quietly, her eyes darting around the room before finally landing on Sofia's.
Before she responded, Sofia needed to calm herself. She took a deep breath, trying to plan what she was going to say next. She needed to make it count, make it worth something. There were so many things she wanted to say or yell at Arizona, but this was not the place. After taking some time to think, Sofia knew what she wanted to say.
"She loves you, you know," Sofia told Arizona quietly.
"Sofia," Arizona all but pleaded.
(TW)
"She's been hurt before by people that loved her. She falls hard and she falls fast but this is the first time I've seen her truly fall. It's the first time I've seen someone reciprocate that love. Has she told you about Erica?"
Arizona just shook her head, unsure if she wanted to this hear story.
"I was 11 when Ma met Erica. She worked at the same hospital as her. Erica was just a resident at the time and from what Daddy told me she wasn't very good. Mama took pity on her, took her under her wing and started teaching her. She saw how kind and generous Mama was and used that to her advantage. Once she found out about her family, she asked her out. They started dating and pretty soon she moved in. I kind of tolerated her at first but I saw how every time we went out anywhere, she never paid. She didn't even offer. I didn't like that. After about six months of living with us, she started telling mama she couldn't go out with her friends or go anywhere without her. One night, Ma came home late. She'd been working on this massive case since we moved there. Her and the other doctors had made a massive break through with it after a year, so they went out and celebrated. She thought I was asleep, but I couldn't go to sleep, I had a bad feeling and I just wanted mama to tuck me in. I snuck out of my room and sat on the stairs waiting for her to get home. When she got home Erica yelled at her, told her she was worthless and accused her of cheating. Then she hit her. She slapped Mama right across the face. She fell to the ground, so she kicked her once and stepped over her to go to the kitchen. She doesn't know I saw all of that." Sofia paused, taking a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears she knew would fall down her cheeks anyway.
"Sof," Arizona said softly, tilting her head as the brunette avoided her gaze.
"No, you need to know this. She won't tell you," Sofia continued. "It didn't happen again for a while but then it started happening more often. Mama started wearing long sleeves, she called in sick to work a lot, stopped seeing her friends and just became so quiet and timid. I hated seeing what Erica did to her. I had to protect her. I had to do something to stop it. So, I went to school one day and used my pocket money to pay another kid to beat me up. After a day or two I went to the nurse's office saying I had a sore tummy. Once they saw the bruises, I told them that Erica had hit me because I left a dirty plate in my room. They called the police and mama. When she saw the bruises, she cried a lot. Then she told the police everything that had happened. Erica got sent to jail for a while, I know she's out now but Abuelo told her if she ever came near us again, he would kill her. Mama quit her job at the hospital, and we moved back to Miami and lived with my grandparents. It took her a long time to come back, but she was never the same after Erica. She lost herself. She lost the sparkle in her eye. I swore from then on, I would protect her and never let anything bad happen to her, never let anyone hurt her ever again. You gave her the sparkle back but the only people she's ever loved, have hurt her. She thinks you'll hurt her because that's what happens. I know you won't."
Arizona just nodded as Sofia talked, avoiding looking at the young girl.
"Don't let her do it. Don't let her push you out of our lives because she loves you."
"We both do," Sofia whispered before she finally let herself look at Arizona.
Arizona met the sad brown eyes in front of her with a soft smile. "I love you too, Sof. But I can't force her to want to be with me. She's made it very clear what she wants."
Sofia shook her head. Why were adults so stupid and stubborn? They both loved each other and but wouldn't fight for each other. She couldn't understand why they wanted to be unhappy. She couldn't comprehend why they would ignore their feelings. Neither Callie nor Arizona looked at anyone the way they looked at each other. Just the thought filled Sofia with so much love and happiness. Until she remembered how dumb they were being. That just made her angry.
"Then you're just as stupid as she is," Sofia replied angrily.
Before Arizona could reply, Sofia had stormed out, slamming the door behind her.
