Enjoy!
A week later, Hawkeye is stuck with a less than jovial B.J. who decides to constantly complain about his wife needing help around the house and his not being there.
"I am so sick of this!" Hawkeye exclaims once he hears B.J. complain about not being around his wife and kid for the thousandth time that week. "You're not the only married person in this camp."
"Yeah, that one nurse is married, and so's the Colonel," B.J. states. "But, Hawk, my wife is thousands of miles away while I'm stuck here. I can't help her or comfort her–"
"Yeah? Try having the same problem when your wife is less than 10 feet away and having to sneak around like a teenager just to see her!"
Shocked, B.J. stops his tirade before asking softly, "You're married?"
Hawkeye's lack of response is all he needs to hear. Curiously, B.J. asks who she is.
"Can't tell you. She'd kill me if she found out I told you. Just don't tell Charles."
"Secret's safe with me," B.J. states before asking again, "So who is she?"
Hawkeye merely shakes his head knowing Margaret will kill him when she finds out. He goes only until the end of the day when he finds Margaret alone with no one else around.
"I told B.J.," Hawkeye admits to Margaret ready for the fight that will ensue.
"What?" Margaret hisses. Holding up his hands, Hawkeye explains the situation adding, "I didn't tell him to who. I was just so sick of him complaining about his family."
Unfortunately for Hawkeye, his admission causes Margaret to only speak to him when necessary for a week. Another few days go by when Colonel Potter announces to Hawkeye and B.J. that the 8063 MASH wants to have a demonstration of the clamp the two surgeons build. Hawkeye accepts which immediately allows him to choose a nurse. Margaret demands she go.
Heading to the 8063rd, Hawkeye relishes a drive away from camp. High on the thought of spending quality time with his wife, Hawkeye soon realizes the trip will not be a pleasant one. The Penobscott letters have been few and far between lately, now encompassing any number of people in her family. However, he is especially surprised at Margaret's demeanor once she reads the letter she receives from Penobscott just before they head out. Being stuck with an angry Margaret is not his idea of fun, especially when they end up stranded in the middle of snipers and shell fire. When he reenters the hut they take shelter in, a blast of shellfire lands Hawkeye on top of his wife.
"'You better get off me, buster!'" Margaret demands again as Hawkeye explains, "'I think I got something stuck in my leg.'"
Margaret takes a look at the wound and is shocked by what she finds. Taking hold of his leg, Margaret tells him to wait.
Teasing, Hawkeye teases, "'Margaret, there's no time for that now. Look at my wound.'"
"'Oh, will you be quiet? You're hurt. Do you want some morphine?'"
Curious about what is in his leg, Hawkeye questions, "'How bad is it? I can hardly feel it.'"
"'You got a hunk of wood in there. You want me to take it out?'" Margaret asks. Annoyed and in pain, Hawkeye exclaims, "'Of course I do! If I want a souvenir, I'll go to a gift shop.'"
Nodding, Margaret explains, "'I'm gonna pour some alcohol on it. It might sting.'"
She can tell by his body language that he is nervous, but yells, "'Stop twitching! You're making this very difficult!'"
Deciding he'll take his chances, Hawkeye replies, "'Forget it. Leave it in.'"
"'Just hold still'," Margaret demands. When he obviously is still trying to move his leg away, Margaret yells, "'Will you be quiet and hold still? I can't get ahold of it. I don't want to make things worse.'"
"'No, me neither'," Hawkeye replies. After a moment, Margaret triumphantly takes the wood out of Hawkeye's leg despite his cries of pain. Nursing humor getting the better of her, Margaret asks if Hawkeye wants to look at the wood. Rolling his eyes, the man remarks, "'Don't be morbid. Just clean it off and put a dressing on it.'"
"'Let me give you a shot of morphine'," Margaret remarks knowing how bad the procedure will hurt.
"'Stop pushing the morphine'," Hawkeye complains knowing there is no time to get it out. Taking his reply into account, Margaret states, "'Okay, but this is gonna hurt a little.'"
"'That's all right. I'm tough'," The chief surgeon admits.
"'Uh-huh'," Margaret answers when Hawkeye screams. Rolling her eyes, the blonde admits, "'I haven't even started yet.'"
"'I'm just practicing'," He remarks. Fifteen minutes later, Hawkeye is limping around the hut as Margaret sits at the table in the corner staring at her letter. After a while, she apologizes, "'I'm sorry I insisted on going ahead when we started getting shelled.'"
"'Oh, that's all right'," Hawkeye remarks, "'You come from a long line of courageous military people. Insanity is hereditary.'"
"'I suppose I deserve that'," The head nurse admits.
"'No, you don't. I was being kind'," Hawkeye comments. Defending herself, Margaret replies, "'I was upset. I wasn't thinking clearly.'"
"'What's eating you, anyway? What is it, the letter?'" Hawkeye asks adding, "'What's in it?'"
"'Never mind!'" Margaret declares. She watches the man chuckle before asking, "'What are you laughing at?'"
"'I just remembered. You're gonna be sorry you were mean to me when you see what I brought'," Hawkeye teases. Not in the mood for jokes, Margaret mumbles, "'Probably a bottle of that liquid rat poison of yours. Forget it.'"
"'Ha-ha on you. Japanese scotch'," The chief surgeon declares. Her curiosity piqued Margaret quickly masks her interest by asking how good the scotch is.
"'How good does it have to be?'" The man counters. Silently agreeing, Margaret demands, "'Give me the bottle. Is that cup clean?'"
"'It can't be too dirty. Whatever's in the bottom is still alive.'"
"'Just pass the cup'," Margaret demands. They each drink the scotch for a moment before Margaret asks, "'Do you think we'll ever get out of here?'"
"'I was just gonna ask you the same question'," Hawkeye replies.
"'I don't like the war, you know'," Margaret admits. "'I hate it. I hate the destruction. The stupidity of the waste. The disruption of personal lives.'"
Knowing her anger lies with the letter she receives, Hawkeye asks what it says. Complying, Margaret replies, "'Oh, well It probably would, uh, hand you a laugh, actually. For instance, this is only the beginning. 'My dear Darleen'."
"'Is that your nickname?'" Hawkeye asks. Margaret shakes her head and replies, "'No.'"
Confused, Hawkeye questions, "'Why is he calling you Darleen?'"
"'He's not calling me Darleen. He put this letter in the wrong envelope'," Margaret explains before reading a few more lines. Angry she exclaims, "My dad cheated on my mom! How could he do that to her? Let alone put it in an envelope to me?"
"'I'm sorry, Margaret. You must really hurt'," Hawkeye replies not knowing what else to say. Still on her tirade, Margaret asks, "'Hurt? You know what it feels like to give your heart to somebody? To live just for a glimpse of his handwriting in the mail? To lose sight of his picture because you've covered it with lipstick?'"
Hawkeye simply gives his wife a knowing look. He did close to the same thing during his army training. After a moment, he states, "'It's certainly been an interesting day. Margaret I wish there was something I could say to ease the pain.'"
"'I'm all right'," She deflects, "'I've always taken great pride in the fact that I can adjust to anything.'"
"'Why don't you get it out of your system?'" Hawkeye offers knowing now is as good a time as any to cry. Shaking her head, Margaret answers, "'I'm fine! Thanks for the drink.'"
Knowing how she must feel, Hawkeye offers her more scotch. Shrugging, Margaret replies, "'Oh, a sip, maybe.'"
To Hawkeye's disbelief, his wife pours almost another full cup. After she finishes the contents of the glass, Margaret states, "'I'll sleep over there. Oh, I think I should warn you If you come over here for any reason during the night, announce yourself. I intend to swing this to kill. Good night.'"
"Why don't we just sleep together? No one else is here," Hawkeye remarks. Shaking her head, Margaret counters, "Except the enemy. I don't want to lose focus in case something happens."
Knowing it is the most logical scenario, Hawkeye nods and takes his place closer to the table.
"'What? What? What?'" Hawkeye yells once he hears a shell exploding in the distance. Then, he registers Margaret calling out, "'Stop it! Will you stop it?'"
"'Margaret, wait a minute'," Hawkeye soothes as he crawls toward her.
"'We're people! You can't shoot at us like we're animals! You want to drive us crazy? You want us to go insane? Is that what you want?'"
"'Shut up!'" Hawkeye demands hoping no one will find them.
"'Why don't you let us have one hour of sleep in peace?'" Margaret asks. When another shell explodes, Margaret yells out, "'Stop it! Stop it! You don't even know whether we're Americans or Chinese or Koreans!'"
Trying to calm the woman down, Hawkeye tries to put his arms around her as he demands, "'Margaret, come here.'"
"'I'm sorry'," Margaret apologizes, "'I'm afraid.'"
"'Me too. So am I'," He admits. Burying her face in his neck, Margaret whispers, "'I don't like being afraid. It scares me.'"
"'Me too'," Hawkeye remarks as Margaret continues, "'I'd feel a lot braver if I weren't so scared.'"
A moment of silence ensues before Margaret pleads, "'Please hold me.'"
"'I'm holding you.'" Hawkeye admits. Shaking her head, Margaret states, "'I can't feel it. Hold me. Hold me.'"
"'Margaret, I'm holding you'," Hawkeye replies as he holds her tighter. When another shell goes off, Hawkeye joins in as they both scream for the shelling to end. Locking eyes, the couple kiss as if their lives depend on it and fully take advantage of their marital status. Waking up the next morning to an almost quiet atmosphere, Hawkeye keeps Margaret in his arms surprised they make it. When she wakes up, Margaret smiles and happily greets her husband before remembering where they are. Noting his wife's nervousness, Hawkeye quickly whispers her name and goes to calm her down. As her husband hugs her to him, Margaret puts her head on his chest and whispers, "I'm so scared."
"I am too," Hawkeye admits. To his dismay any heartfelt comments are filled with barbs and hostility by the time they reach the 8063rd. After performing their surgery like they are supposed to, Margaret and Hawkeye find themselves in a two person conference making sure their personal matters do not interfere with their professional matters. Making it back to camp, Hawkeye and Margaret are more than ready to spend the night apart. However, Hawkeye soon finds himself at Margaret's tent after a small talk with B.J. who convinces him to talk. When she lets him inside, Hawkeye immediately apologizes and tells her nothing should have happened and quickly adds, "At least at the 8063rd."
Agreeing, the nurse asks Hawkeye if she can read a letter that starts as payback for her father's cheating. Nodding, Hawkeye listens as the letter morphs into a heartfelt letter to him. Smiling, Hawkeye kisses his wife on the cheek and thanks her before heading to his own bed. As much as he wants to stay with her, he knows the camp is already talking about what may have happened to cause Margaret to slap him.
Review!
