Okay, I felt we all deserved a break from the usual depressing shit I write. This chapter is still somewhat depressing(you'll see why soon), but it's also really wholesome, and a shit ton of character development. Music choices for this chapter: My Heart I Surrender by I Prevail, Star Maker by Natewantstobattle, and Atlas Falls by Shinedown. Next chapter is a doozy, but we get to meet a long time hated favorite for the first time since the prologue! And thank you to the new favorites and followers, Im glad you're enjoying the story enough to stick around! Please leave a review because I love reading them, or you can even PM me if you wanted to discuss anything!
**Trigger warnings: Panic attacks, depressive and intrusive thoughts, mentions of suicide**
"Here we go, Bay," Keigo coos, holding her hand and shoulder as if she's glass. He's walking her up to the door of the apartment, Reina following behind with Leinei's overnight bag and some medications the doctor's wanted her to take. "Just take it easy."
"Keigo, I'm fine." she promises, laughing as he fakes a stumble to hug her tightly. She pushes at his chest as he rubs his cheek on top of her head, mussing her hair. "Kei!"
"I'm sorry, I don't wanna go home yet!" he whines, squeezing her once before letting her go. Reina snorts as she walks past them to unlock the door to walk inside. The other two follow behind her, Keigo closing the door as Leinei takes her shoes off. She looks around the apartment, surprised that it was actually clean for once, minus the coffee cups on the table and in the sink.
"Did you actually clean for once?" Leinei asks her sister as the redhead drops her bag on the couch and sits down to lean her head back. "If I knew that would get the place cleaned, I'd get kidnapped more often."
"Not funny," Reina and Keigo say at the same time, Keigo lightly thumping the purple haired girl on the back of the head. "Go put your stuff up and come back down," he tells her as she rubs the back of her head. "I have something I wanna give you before I head out. Hurry up."
"Okay!"
He smiles softly as she gets her bag and hurries up the stairs. He sighs and rubs the back of his neck as he looks at Reina sitting on the couch with her head back and eyes closed. He doesn't know what to say to her, or to do. Things had been tense between them since their talk after the flower shop, and he didn't want to leave it this way. Leinei being taken showed him that life is still as unpredictable as always.
"Reina, you know I love you right?"
"Mhm."
"I'm only this hard on you because I have to be."
"I know."
"It's not easy being the oldest."
"Now you're just starting to sound like me with the excuses," she snorts, opening one eye before sitting up and running her fingers through her long hair. "I get what you were trying to say. You're looking out for our sister in ways I'm still trying to figure out because somehow you're a natural despite being an only child prior to meeting us."
"I've been told that being a caretaker comes naturally to me," he replies sheepishly, remembering the days leading up to the accident, the day the Commission discovered him. Trying to take care of his mom after Endeavor arrested his dad, saving them both in a way. "Guess you can say I got attached at first sight, or flight."
"You and the fucking bird puns."
"Yep, they never get old."
"Yeah to you."
"I love you, Reina. You and Leinei-I'd die for both of you. Like I said before, I don't know what I'd be without either of you, and I'm glad you both are in my life. I shouldn't have said what I said so cruelly the other day, because I know you're trying. I just..I just don't want to see her in the hospital again."
"I know. I love you too, Kei."
"We should go get drinks sometime. Find someone who actually is age appropriate and not, well, y'know."
"I think I'm gonna focus on Lei for a while."
"Clever birdy."
"I will fucking incinerate you."
"Nope, you love me too much!"
"Keigo. You're in thin air."
"Nuh uh, I'm on the-" His eyes widened as she flicks her hand, feeling the oxygen leave his lungs for a split second before rushing back into his body. She smirks at him as he coughs and grabs the wall to catch his breath. "You-that's messed up-you said you wouldn't do that again!"
"I only made that promise if you stopped being a butt. Which you kinda haven't."
"I hate your quirk."
"Funny, I can say the same for yours."
Footsteps come down the stairs, the two of them quickly throwing their conversation to the side. Keigo smiles softly seeing the red feather barrettes in Leinei's hair. He reaches out and tousles the strands, her fighting his hand off with a giggle. Seeing her happy warms his heart, glad she could still smile despite everything. He loves seeing the light in her eyes, never wanting to see that dead glazed over look in them ever again.
"Lei, I've told you how amazing you are, right?" he asks her softly, watching as she nods and finally gets his hand off her head. "I mean it. You went through something most heroes would want to retire after. I'm so proud of how far you've come, and you know you can always call me if you need anything at all. I mean it."
"I know, Kei. Don't you have to get back to Kyushu?"
"I do, but I have one thing to give you before I leave," he promises, a small feather leaving his wings and fluttering through her hair before it comes to his hand. He holds it out to her. "I want you to keep this on you at all times. It can act like a beacon in case you get kidnapped again, making it a lot easier for us to find you. And if you need me for anything, just stroke the barbs and afterfeathers three times and I'll find you no matter what."
"Keigo, I'm fine-"
"It will help me sleep easier at night if you have it."
"Alright, Kei," she relents, taking it gently from his hand. "Just wear it on a necklace or something?"
"Preferably," he agrees, grabbing the back of her head and pulling her in for a tight hug. He looks pointedly at Reina, who gets up and walks over to them. He pulls her into the hug as well, wrapping both arms and wings around them. He can feel tears prick at his eyes as the girls hug him back, holding them as closely as he can. He didn't want to leave just yet, but he's been away from his agency for too long. Plus Reina needs to work things out with her.
"I love you both so fucking much," he whispers, placing a kiss on each of their heads. "You, no more fucking scaring us like that," he adds as he lets go of both of them, looking at Leinei pointedly. She smiles sheepishly, closing her eyes as she tilts her head to the side.
"I'll do my best."
"That's all I ask."
Reina smirks to herself, pulling out her phone and tapping it twice on her palm as Keigo groans. He tries to protest, reaching for the door before Leinei grabs his arm and gives him puppy dog eyes. He groans, using his other hand to rub the side of his head.
"Come on, we haven't taken a picture together since I was at Shiketsu!" she pleads, tugging him back. "It'll only take two seconds!"
"Yeah, Keigo. You can't say no to that face," Reina adds, pouting her lips as she holds her phone up. He sighs and uses two of his feathers to take the phone from her hands before pulling her in. "I thought you'd see it my way."
"Yeah yeah," he grumbles, Reina turning with her peace sign held up. Leinei grins as she keeps ahold of his arm, putting one of her own up as well. He smiles softly, holding one up above Reina's head as the feathers position the phone and take the photo. "Now I really have to get going. I will text you both when I get home."
"Understood!"
"Have a safe flight, Keigo."
He uses two fingers to salute them, flicking them off his forehead before walking out of the apartment and closing the door behind him. There's a whoosh outside of their door, the sound of him taking off and leaving. Leinei lets out a soft sigh, feeling exhausted. She rubs her eye and shakes her head as Reina sends the picture to the family group chat.
"You can go lay down if you're tired," she tells her. "I was gonna order take out so we didn't have to cook tonight, or Inko invited us to dinner when you got home. I'm sure your friend Izuku would love to see you again."
"I don't want to bother them.."
"I can go ask if their offer still stands. Go rest and I'll go talk to them."
"Alright.."
She walks back upstairs, careful with the feather in her hand as she heads into her room and closes the door behind her. She exhales slowly, letting the faux happiness she's been displaying bleed away from her as she walks to the bed and sits down. She places the feather on her nightstand, digging through the pile of clothes from the summer camp to get her phone out. She saw at least thirty new messages on her screen, all from the group chat with Katsuki, Mina, Sero, Denki, and Eijirou. There were a few messages from Shoto and Izuku as well, and even Yaoyorozu and some of the other girls.
I didn't even know so many people had my number…
Chargebolt: {I'm so glad you guys are okay! Who knows what our class would be without you guys!}
Red Riot: {I'm just glad we got there in time…who knows what else would have happened…}
Cellophane: {I still think you guys were stupid for launching that rescue plan. What would have happened if you didn't get out of there in time? You could have gotten everyone killed.}
Pinky: {Aw, lay off Ser, they were just being good friends! It sucks that Lei wasn't there with Bakugo at ground zero..}
Lord Explosion Murder: {So you would have rathered her fight in a near death state?}
Pinky: {That is so not what I was saying, Bakugo. It just would have been more comforting to know they didn't separate you guys.}
Chargebolt: {Come on guys, lets not fight! We should totally celebrate everyone being home though! Karaoke?}
Red Riot: {Karaoke sounds awesome!}
Lord Explosion Murder: {Why don't we wait til Salinsa gets home and we can decide from there? The police don't want me or her leaving the house without parents.}
Cellophane: {We could do a game night or something. Kami, if you really wanna do karaoke, I'm sure we can use Youtube or something and turn the vocals off.}
Chargebolt: {You're smart, Serooo!}
Cellophane: {Not really. Kendall was asking about you guys though, especially after I told him that Lei needed surgery. Bakugo, is she okay?}
Lord Explosion Murder: {as far as I know she is. She sounded fine when her sister called my mom. Ask her yourself.}
Leinei scrolls through the rest of the chat, biting her thumb nail. Her heart is pounding in her chest, and she feels the stinging in her eyes that feels like she's going to cry, but her vision stays steady. She exits the group chat, quickly reading through the other messages from the others. It made her heart flutter seeing all of their well wishes, and the gifs of ghosts sending hugs. She's trying to figure out when she made so many friends, and how.
I thought I caused nothing but trouble for everyone…I worried all of them…and they're still so concerned…It's nice, I think..I hope it lasts.
Her phone buzzes, a notification pulling down to show a new message in the groupchat. She takes a breath and opens it, bombarded with a gif of a monkey hugging a banana with one arm and running at the screen with the other. She giggles, shaking her head.
Chargebolt: {Leiiii, Midoriya told us you're home! How are you? We miss you! 3}
Red Riot: {Lei's back! The gang's all here!}
Pinky: {Leiiiiiiii! I miss youuu! I should come over and see how you are! I miss youuuuuuu!}
Cellophane: {We're glad you're back. How are you feeling?}
Naimles: {Still a little sore. The beating I took ruptured my spleen so they had to take that out before Recovery Girl could work her magic.)
Red Riot: {Those villains really messed you up, huh? Are you gonna be good to return to school?}
Naimles: {Yeah, I should. I just have a few scars and bruises, but nothing really lasting. Maybe the one on my neck, but it happens.}
Red Riot: {Oh that's so manly! A battlescar and you're not even out of school yet! Bakubro, you didn't get anything like that!}
Chargebolt: {...}
Chargebolt: {Bakugo, you good, bro? You been silent this whole time.}
Cellophane: {he probably just isn't near his phone right now. Maybe he's eating or something.}
Naimles: {He deserves to rest anyway. He went through just as much as I did.}
Chargebolt: {Yeah but he didn't come out with the scars to prove it. Is it true you actually challenged the Dabi guy? I mean you got your ass handed to you, but you did it! That's so awesome! An S ranked villain and you survived! How is that not amazing!}
Pinky: {Hey, Kami, I don't think she wants to relive it.}
Naimles: {No, he's fine. I'm gonna rest for a few minutes. I'm glad to see everyone is okay.}
Katsuki stares at his phone as he lays on his side in his bed. The light is off, the window triple checked to make sure it's locked with the curtains drawn. He had recently asked Mitsuki for thick heavy blackout curtains to just add an extra layer of security for himself. It helped with the constant nagging paranoia he feels around the clock. The messages from the group chat didn't help anything either, Kaminari and Kirishima's words biting at him more than they probably had meant them to. Leinei defending him makes his heart skip a bit, and sends a flurry of mixed emotions through his chest.
I should be the one defending her. Why..why does she keep protecting me? It's not her job!
But it makes me happy too..why does it make me fucking happy?
'I care for you.'
Tears bite at his eyes, which he quickly wipes away before leaving the group chat and going to the regular chat between him and Leinei. The last message between the two was from before the trip, before the hellscape that left so many fractures on him, he isn't sure if he'll ever be whole again. He still can't get the smell of Leinei's burning flesh out of his nose, or the sight of sickening horror on her face as Shigaraki spilled her dark secrets.
And that-why couldn't she tell him? Why did he have to find out from evil personified wannabes? Did she not trust him? Does she not actually care about him? If she would explain, maybe he would understand, maybe he could help her in some way, like she keeps helping him. But how does he bring something like that up, after an experience they both just want to forget?
He can't imagine what all Dabi did to her. He doesn't want to, the thoughts alreadying intruding enough and twisting his heart into an inescapable gordian knot in his chest. She had to have her spleen removed-what else did that sick bastard do? How badly messed up would she be now, after going through this? After being so strong, for so long, and holding on for so long, while he just..sat there with false bravado and wallowing in his own self pity and terror.
His luck. His shitty fucking luck. He had been working up the courage to tell her how he felt, when that was his biggest worry after school and school related activities. He confessed, and he got somewhat of a confession. But because she had been near him, she got hurt. She got taken, because she was near him. She got taken as leverage against him, and it all just fell into their hands.
She got hurt because of me. I was stupid enough to get close to her, when all I do is just bring misery to everyone else. And now she has more trauma to deal with, because of me. I don't deserve her. I barely got hurt, a few cuts, and she had to have fucking surgery. She had to call me to check on me, because I didn't have the balls to check on her myself. I'm a coward.
He didn't even notice the steady flow of tears down his face, his phone discarded on his bed as he curls in on himself and sniffles. His body trembles, clenching his eyes shut. Behind his eyelids, he can see the flashes of Dabi holding Leinei, the brief blue hue of his flames at her neck. The way she screamed echoes in his ears, his hands reaching up to cover them but that only seems to make the noises louder. He doesn't realize how badly he's shaking, or the gasping sobs leaving his throat.
He was so useless during the entire thing, not able to do anything while she sat there and said everything he wanted to. He hates himself for it, having had so much adoration for her before. But that was before, before the smell of burning flesh was permanently etched in his nostrils, before he saw the broken look on her face, before Dabi brutally beat her within an inch of her life, before he realized how entirely useless he is.
All of sudden, he's taken back to the day the Sludge Villain attacked him. The way it felt to be drowning while all of those heroes watched, how his explosions were useless against the gelatinous monster. The taunting words, the taste of the slime in his throat having imprinted themselves on him. He begged for help in his head, fighting as hard as he could and it still wasn't enough. It took Deku of all people stepping in and trying his damndest to save him for any hero to be inspired enough to help. They were content with filing him away under failures, and…why? Is he really that useless that even quirkless Deku was more useful than him…?
He's sobbing so hard he doesn't hear the knock at his door, or the creaking of the hinges as Mitsuki pokes her head in. Her heart breaks seeing her son curled into a ball as he cries, a maelstrom of emotions swirling around inside him. She walks over to him and sits on the bed, placing her hand on his shoulder. He immediately sits up, catching himself before he swung his fist into her chest. She doesn't retaliate, just smiling at him as he slowly lowers his hand and looks away in shame.
"Y'know, I don't see you cry often," she tells him softly, chuckling when he aggressively wipes the tears from his face. He sniffles, coughing after as he looks down at the mussed blanket on his bed.
"I wasn't crying. It was allergies."
"So you're allergic to showing your emotions to your mom now?"
"Oh bite me."
"You can still talk to me. I miss when my little Suki would talk to me about everything."
"Oh god don't call me that," he whines, shuddering at his old nickname. She laughs and uses her index and middle fingers to poke his forehead. He grumbles under his breath after, rubbing the spot she had poked.
"No, you prefer Lord Explosion Murder now right?"
"Who told you that!" He demands, bristling at the use of his would be hero name. His mother chuckles and places her hand on his head, tousling the hair a bit.
"A mother always knows, kiddo. Have you called Leinei today? Inko called to tell me she was home finally."
"No, but she's texting in the group chat, so I guess she's okay…" he mutters, not bothering to push her hand away. In all honesty, it brought him peace, and comfort knowing she was right there. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was so happy to see her in the hospital. He just wanted his mom once he knew Leinei was rescued. "I..I don't even know what I'd say to her."
"Well you two seemed to talk okay the other day," she reminds him, not moving her hand until her son tells her too. She could still see all of the terror in each of his features, the way his hands tremble and his bottom lip quivers. It breaks her heart seeing her normally confident son this way. "I..I don't know exactly-"
"Mom, can I ask you something?"
"Of course. Anything. Unless it's to get you condoms. You go to your dad for that."
"What? Oh gross no! I don't-what made you think-Mom."
"You're a teenage boy, who has a crush on his classmate. It's perfectly normal to fantasize about that stuff and think about sex. If you're going to have sex, I'd rather you have the condoms-"
"Mom! Not what I was going to ask! Gross! I-I'm not having this conversation!" He says before covering his ears again, starting to hum loudly as Mitsuki laughs and shakes her head. "Not listening to this, lalalala!"
"Katsuki, be an adult about this," she scolds playfully, shoving his shoulder before he lowers his hands and stops the childish antics. "But what were you going to ask?"
"Um…" He takes a breath and rubs the back of his head as he looks anywhere but at the face they shared. He sighs softly before finally looking at her, watching her wait patiently with a small smile on her face. "I…It's a few things, actually..if you have the time to listen to me."
"Katsuki, I always have time to listen to you. Now, the real question is. Do you want my famous hot cocoa before we start, or my famous spicy curry?"
"Can I have both..?"
"Of course, hon."
"Thanks Mom. You're the best."
"Anything for you. I love you, Katsuki."
Katsu: {Can you meet me at the playground tonight? I..I have something I need to tell you and I don't feel comfortable talking about it over the phone.}
Shortstack: {Sure Katsu. I just have to wait for Reina to fall asleep, but she's been drinking since we got back from Izu's, so she should be out soon.}
Katsu: {Alright. Just let me know when you leave.}
Shortstack: {Same to you.}
Shortstack: {Hey, I'm leaving now. I'll see you in a few minutes.}
Katsu: {I'm leaving too.}
Leinei stares at her phone as she sits on the steps to one of the slides, wearing her Hawks hoodie and a pair of jeans. The feather Keigo told her to keep on her is taped to the back of her phone case, since it's always on her anyway. She looks at the timestamp of the message Katsuki had sent, then at the time it is currently. Being outside without anyone makes her nervous, looking around at some of the people walking by and feeling her stomach twist.
It's almost nine at night, and she's out in the dark with no way to protect herself and not allowed to use her quirk because she wasn't on school grounds or private property with the permission to do so. She could fight, but her body is still so sore, and she's exhausted. She really just wants to sleep, but she wanted to see Katsuki more.
"You look like a truck hit you," a familiar tone greets her, her heart fluttering as she looks up and sees him standing in front of her with a black hoodie and a pair of sweats. He runs his hand through his hair, sniffling a bit as he looks around. Dark circles sit under his eyes, which are still red and puffy. "Can-can I sit next to you?"
"Of course," she tells him, scooting a bit closer to the rail so he could take the open spot next to her. It's still a tight fit, their shoulders and knees touching. For some reason, it brings comfort to her, knowing he's there and having that physical reassurance. "And you don't look any better, Katsu."
"Heh, I guess not," he mutters, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pocket and starting at the stairs they were sitting on. He couldn't stand to look at her, seeing the angry scar on her neck, and yet she still smiles and greets him as if she didn't almost die protecting him. He feels her nudge him with her elbow, glancing up out of the corner of his eyes to see her. And she's still smiling.
How can she still be smiling..?
"You look like you haven't slept," she tells him, trying to get a good look at his face. "When was the last time you actually slept?"
"What was the night before the whole being kidnapped thing?" he replies irritably, scowling until he sees her flinch and look away from him. I'm already fucking this up. "The doctors gave me some meds to take if I couldn't sleep, but they don't help the fucking nightmares, so…what's the point of taking them?"
"Makes sense," she agrees, nodding. "The doctors told me nightmares were common after what we went through. But with all the pain meds they had me on, I don't really remember all of the dreams. Just the really vivid ones."
'Get away from me you freak!'
She shakes her head, exhaling quickly through her nose. Katsuki is looking at her, eyebrow raised. He didn't need her quirk to see she was going through something, but he didn't know what. His first thought was she didn't want to be around him, but his second said..maybe something at home. He doesn't want to assume and drive her even further away.
"Anyway, what exactly did you not feel comfortable enough to talk about over text?" she asks, shaking the intrusive memories away. "I'm sure you wouldn't have dragged us out here to just talk about our crappy sleeping patterns."
"Yeah, no I wouldn't have done that. Besides I already know how shitty your sleep patterns are," he jokes, watching her roll her eyes and seeing some semblance of the old Leinei. His heart skips for a moment, and he resists the urge to hug her. He fights to remember the last time they were alone, but all that pulls up is the night they were kidnapped, and he left her alone. He left her alone. If he had just stayed, maybe they could have been safe.
"I'm just..just gonna rip this band-aid off," he relents after a minute or two of contemplative hesitation. "The villains called you the Shiketsu Slaughterer. Said you killed six people. What the hell is up with that? The Lei I know-you wouldn't do something like that. My Lei isn't the type of person to hurt anyone unless they deserve it. And I also know you don't lie. Yeah you skirt around the truth sometimes, like when Kaminari asked about your arms, but you don't lie. So please, don't start lying to me now. I just..I just want to hear your side of things. If it's even true."
Her chest tightens, and the itchy feeling from before comes back to her eyes. She feels like she's going to cry but can't, seeing the unspoken plea on his face for it to not be true. But it is true..and you'll hate me…
"It..I…" She can't even find the words to speak, her throat closing around a lump the size of an orange. She rubs her hands on her thighs before pulling the sleeve cuffs over them and balling the loose fabric in her palms. Flashes of the event come back to her, each more vivid and intermingling with her nightmare from the hospital. "I..I am..I did it.."
"Okay. Why?"
"Because I'm a coward and I'm weak," she tells him, burying her face in her hands. "I had even less control over my quirk back then, and I didn't even know where to begin with turning it off. I tried so hard to play quirkless, but that's hard to do in the Hero Course, especially with two fucking reccomendations." Katsuki flinches hearing her curse like that, not expecting it. "I didn't want people to know about my quirk, but somehow it got out. And I was bullied for it, because it's typically considered a villain quirk. I'm trying so hard to not make it like that. I'm trying so hard to be more than that, but.."
"Lei, you're getting off track," he murmurs to her, lifting one hand and gently placing it between her shoulder blades. She takes a small breath, pulling her hands away from her face and letting them hang between her thighs. "What happened?"
"It happened during a stupid assembly," she whispers, the words feeling twisted and wrong leaving her lips. I'm not supposed to talk about it. If anyone finds out, I'll be in trouble.. "I tried to keep attention off me, because I just wanted to hear what the people were talking about. I didn't want to be an issue. But some of the people who did most of the bullying found me. It turned physical that day, and my quirk snapped on without me allowing it to. It hit a lot of people, including the retired Pro that was speaking that day. I'm thankful it was only six deaths, but…If I had just been stronger, or not as fucking stupid, maybe it wouldn't have happened at all. Maybe I could have prevented it if I just…If I just didn't go that day."
"Leinei," he murmurs, seeing the pain etched on her face just talking about it. His arm twitches and he takes a breath. "I-I'm going to hug you, okay? I don't want you to freak out or anything. I'm just going to hug you."
"O..okay.."
He pulls his other hand out of his hoodie pocket and wraps both of them around her, turning slightly so he can pull her to his chest. Her body trembles, her head against his shoulder as he holds her. He doesn't know what else to say, feeling stupid for even asking to hug her in the first place. He still doesn't know the whole story either, but if she was this broken up about it, she couldn't…she didn't do it on purpose right?
"I didn't physically kill anyone," she says, trying to justify it and make it sound less bad in her ears. "That's what my brother and Mr. Aizawa told me. I…the three students, they committed suicide right in front of me. The two teachers had heart attacks, and Galliant..he had a stroke. The others I hit recovered just fine, but…"
"You still blame yourself," he replies, starting to trail his fingers up and down her arm. She nods, turning her head so she can hide her face in his collarbone. He doesn't know how to respond honestly, a little in shock. What was it Kaminari said at the beginning of the year when she showed up? 'It's always the small cute ones that are the deadliest?'
"This is the part where you take out your phone and announce it to the entire class," she mutters, pulling away from him and standing up. His head spins at the way her emotions changed so quickly, one moment on the verge of tears, the next…distant. Closed off. Nowhere near the Leinei he knows, the ditzy girl with a sweet smile and sad eyes. They were so far away from the girl who was trying to admit she wanted to date him in the forest, and closer to the same girl she was when she first dropped into his life like a feather almost. "Go ahead. I won't blame you. Who wants to be near a murderer?"
"Lei," he breathes, getting up and walking over to her. She takes another step away, her back to him still. "Leinei, stop, hey, look at me," he adds, grabbing her wrist and forcing her to turn around. A single tear is running down her cheek. "I-I'm not doing that."
"Why?" she whispers hoarsely, her bottom lip quivering. "Why? You can see how fucking broken I am. You can see how pathetic and stupid and weak I am. Maybe if I had actually killed myself after it happened, this wouldn't-this wouldn't be like this! I wouldn't have gotten close to you, or Ei, or Denks, or Mina and Sero. I wouldn't have…have caused all of this. I'm a monster, Katsu. I'm the worst kind, the one that sits there and says she's not."
"You are not a monster," he tells her softly, shaking his head. "And I'm not going to tell anyone, because no one else needs to know. Because that's not who you are. You're Leinei Salinsa, one of the smartest damn kids in UA. Your fighting skills are a little lacking, but that's to be expected when you're against a god like me." She snorts, rolling her eyes at his comment. He smiles softly, glad he got some reaction out of her. "But who you were a year ago, is not the same person you are today. It's not the same person who protected me in that bar, and it's not the same person who nearly died to make sure I stayed safe." His voice cracks on died, blinking fast to keep the tears at bay. "And..it's not the same person I like seeing smile every day."
"You've been reading too many romance manga."
"And you haven't read enough."
"Okay that's fair," she chuckles weakly, hugging herself and looking at her feet. She inhales deeply, closing her eyes. "You…I…you aren't going to leave me, are you..?"
"You really think I'd leave you, after that whole speech that sounds like it could be in some sappy cheesy romance novel? You're hurting me, Lei."
She flinches when he says that, flashing back to her nightmare. For a moment, all she can see is him covered in blood, the terror in his eyes as Dabi sends his flames toward him. It makes her sick to her stomach, bile rising in the back of her throat. Concern washes over Katsuki, his eyes widening as he sees the color drain from her face.
"Hey, hey, breathe," he says quickly. "I-I'm stupid, I shouldn't have said that. Not..not after what happened. Breathe, okay? It's gonna be okay-"
"I..the nightmare," she replies weakly. She touches his shoulder, the same one that had broken in her dream. He watches her face, confused. "I..I had a nightmare inside a nightmare, and I..I helped kill you…He burned you alive in front of me, and you-you called me a freak.."
"It was just a dream," he assures, this time just reaching out and pulling her against him. She shakes like a leaf in his arms, her eyes wide as he holds her tightly. "I wouldn't die so easily. Not when…when you showed me how to be stronger than I ever thought possible."
Why can't I say what I want to say? I want to say
Not when I have you to protect.
"Promise..?" she whispers, wrapping her arms around him and gripping the back of his hoodie. He smiles softly, resting his chin on her head as he closes his eyes.
"I promise. It'll take a lot more than this to chase me off. Especially after you gave those villains hell."
"I did come a little unhinged…"
"You did," he agrees, squeezing her tightly. She makes a small squeaking noise that makes him laugh. Holding her gives him a sense of peace, one he hasn't felt in days. He doesn't want to let go, finding comfort in a hug he's sure means so much more to her than to him. "Hey, wanna watch Lilo and Stitch still?"
"We don't have to if you don't wanna. I just…thinking about it helped me stay sane in that room."
"Alright, well, my mom has all of the Disney and Pixar movies. We used to watch them all the time when I was a kid."
"Yeah?" She pulls her head back and looks up at him, smiling weakly. He smiles at her, his eyes softer than she ever could have thought possible from him. "Well maybe one of these days we should marathon them."
"Oh god, don't tell her that," he groans, tilting his head back as he closes his eyes. Leinei laughs, a soft breathy sound that makes his heart swell. She's wearing the red feather barrettes again, and he brings one hand away from her to touch one gently. "You know how you asked me my favorite color the other day?"
"Mhm. You never answered me."
"I didn't think I had to, considering you wear it almost every time we're hanging out."
"Purple?"
"No dumbass," he cackles, shaking his head as she giggles. "Red. My favorite color is red. Sometimes orange."
"I wouldn't have guessed," she replies, sticking her tongue out at him after. His heart melts, seeing the wall slowly coming down from behind her eyes. One brick at a time, one gentle word after another. He cups her chin, placing one thumb right under her lip and pulling it down so he can press his lips to her forehead. Her eyes widened, her heart skipping so many beats in a row she's sure she died somewhere in the two seconds his lips touched her.
"Kat-katsu-?"
"Next time, I'm going to protect you," he says, pulling back far enough so he can rest his forehead against hers and watch her eyes. They seem starstruck, confused, a flurry of emotions so vast, he swears for a moment he can see the ocean. Just like the first time she came over. "Next time, no one is going to lay a hand on you. Any one who does, I'll send them to the fucking moon and laugh as they suffocate."
"That's not a very heroic thing to say, Katsu."
"I'm whatever I have to be to protect the ones I care about."
