I don't own Star Wars, Anakin, Padme or other characters
Rated: M, as I mentioned earlier, so much Sex… because we didn't get enough from George Lukas
I intend to update once a month or more often, we will see
... and something else: English is not my native language. Please have mercy on me
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This story takes place long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away ...
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Enjoy, and if you like it, drop a review .
I am glad to read every review, that makes me continue writing.
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Broken , Chapter 7
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Who was Jedi Master and member of the the High Council, Anakin Skywalker?
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…. one month later …
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The mission started in the morning, first week of the fifth month. The trip was pleasant. Anakin steered the ship, which was not very large, the delegation consisted of only six Senators.
On Alderaan they were greeted by Queen Breha, Padmé afterwards extra and privately. Anakin held back. Breha knew about their breakup and was surprised they were put on for that mission together. Breha also greeted Anakin very warmly and gave him one of the best rooms in the palace. The Hutts delegation wasn't expected for two days, they had problems with the ship and had to stop for repair.
The delegation of the republic made these days nice for themself. Several Jedis had come with them, so the Senators could go on excursions into the mountains. Anakin wasn't interested in, stayed in his room. Padmé didn't want to go hoping to see Anakin and speak with him. She spent the whole time with Brecha. That evening, after dinner for whole delegation and Jedis, many of them went for a walk in the palace garden.
"Let's go for a walk too, the air here is clean and wonderful, not like on Coruscant."
"No, I'm tired. I'm going to bed right away. Good night Senator."
That was not good, not a bit. He avoids her. Now she had to do something risky and if it goes wrong, then she must accept she has lost him forever. She went to her room, took a shower, put on his favorite fragrance, pulled on a light nightgown and robe on top. Then she went to his room. The door wasn't locked. Did he expect her to come? She went in quietly, closed the door and locked it. Anakin was lying on his back and was already asleep. She took off her robe and nightgown and slipped naked and silently as possible under the bed cover, lay on her side and watched him. His face was without expression, calm. The mouth was half open, he was snoring softly. His chest rose and fell steadily. The blanket was just covering his hip. He still had that perfect body that she loved so much. She wanted to touch him, but resisted the urge. What if he tells her to go? No, she doesn't want to think about it now. When will he wake up again? In the morning ... when everyone have to get up? Wake him up? Perhaps. She turned and pushed the glass from the bedside table down the carpet. The glass didn't break, but made a noise. Anakin stirred and opened his eyes and then he saw her.
"What are you doing here Padmé?" He asked completely surprised and moved back a little
"What does a woman do in her husband's bed? Hm?"
"Padmé!?"
"She wants to be loved."
"That's not good idea, Padmé. "
"I want my husband back, I want my life back, Anakin please ..."
"You said we have nothing in common anymore, that there is nothing left, that our marriage is over. You said so much ugly things to me, sent me away and broke my heart. There is nothing left to love you with. I have closed with everything and found my peace. "
She was desperate, but one more try….
"I understand, but help me that I can close up too, just one more time in your arm, just to feel you in me and you will never have to see me again, never again .. I promise "
He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to give up his peace, which he found so difficult, but he wanted her because he still loved her. And then he made a decision... against himself. He pulled her close, kissed her, and felt just enough to get an erection and complete the love act, he thought. No ... he felt a lot more.
Padme felt her heart thunder in her chest, couldn't breathe and moaned and had an overwhelming orgasm. She realized, of course, that Anakin wasn't the same. He kissed her, caressed her, was tender but the passion and fire like before was not there. That made her cry. She wiped her tears away, he didn't do that, something what used to be taken for granted. He said nothing, commented nothing. She felt humiliated somehow. She asked him to have sex with her, he actually didn't want to and the result was appropriate.
"It was a mistake too, I'm sorry Anakin, I'm sorry for everything."
Anakin sat down, ran just the palms of his hands over his face and through his hair, and said nothing. She got up, put on her nightgown and robe, and left the room. What did he done? ... The most stupid thing he could do. He stirred up his peace of mind. He thought he wasn't feeling anything, but he did. She stirred something in him. When he kissed her the feeling wasn't that strong, but the further he touched her, caressed that familiar body and breathed the smell of her, the more he wished to have her back. He has just refused her to want her again. She promised to avoid him, he will never have to see her again. Is that what he wanted? It would be the best. Marriage didn't work, it couldn't work. Too much bad experiences, too much injuries, too much bad words. Finally finish it, the end is the end. You can't fix something broken so that it is the way it was before, especially not a heart… ..he thought.
Padmé came into her room in tears. What did she done? Yes, she wanted him back, but how she could be sure that he would forgive her, that he would take her back, that he would give in to her wishes. She hurt him deeply, it was beyond repair ... she thought. She felt bad and ashamed.
The negotiations with the Hutts brought one surprise after another. They didn't want war or confrontation, they wanted cooperation. They were offered self-government, which they graciously accepted.
So far the galaxy should be pacified ... for the time being, until the Hutts see their advantage endangered again.
Chancellor Bail Organa was satisfied with the result. In his office he met the delegation, Senator Amidala, Jedis and Master Skywalker and thanked him for the successful conduct of the negotiations as well as for protecting the delegation.
Padmé went to the Jedis, thanked them and said goodbye, with Anakin with a:
"Farewell Anakin." But in such a way that no one heard.
According to the protocol, he bowed and said nothing.
Anakin left the Senate building towards the Temple with other Jedis. He immediately met his old Master and asked him to come to him.
"How were the negotiations, how did it go?"
"It went unexpectedly good ... as far as the negotiations are concerned, but with Padmé ... ..Meister, I did something stupid ..."
"You slept with her, didn't you?"
"Yes. She took me by surprise, she looked so miserable, asked me ... for one last time ... and I gave in. Master, all the peace of mind I thought I found, is gone. I'm so upset again ... maybe not exactly desperate, but restless and full of pain. "
"Logical. It has awakened everything in you again what you thought you had overcome. You obviously haven't gotten over it, just buried the old pain under a deceptive peace. Meditation will help you to find the peace again, but you have to know that you can not avoid meeting her again and again and until you are not sure whether you want her or not, it is like a poison for you. "
"I don't know yet, Master. I will do my job first. Helping Master Nu is like a balm to my soul, and working with the youngsters I wouldn't barter for anything in the galaxy. They are so refreshingly different, they give me so much. Master, I love children. "
"I know. You would have been the best father, but maybe one day with another wo…."
"No Master, never, never !"
"You still love her, don't you?"
"She hurt me so much and pushed me away."
"You are still not over her and you will never find your inner peace if you still love her. If you are ready to confess it to yourself, you should forgive her. "
"I can't go through this again. It was so bad, so painful. "
"Think profound about it, Anakin. I am there for you whenever you need me. "
Anakin worked in the library, helping Master Nu, and enjoying the quiet of the library halls and reading rooms. He sorted the holo files that were filed incorrectly, seldom happened but now and then, and looked after the old books that were printed on paper, which rarely anyone could get their hands on. They were in special climatic cabinets and had to be taken out from time to time to check their condition. Working with younglings was different. Anakin didn't have a second to lose himself in his own thoughts, no feelings, no Padmé, just the challenge. They always had a thousand questions and he always had to have the answer. He sometimes wondered why such little children can think so rationally and draw so astute conclusions, much better than some adults.
Over time and a lot of meditation, Anakin calmed down on his feelings, but ... through the Force, he felt Padmé's suffering. Something was wrong.
After Padmé came back from negotiations at Alderaan, there was only work left for her. She came to the Senate in the morning, worked all day, sometimes without a break or lunch, never missed any committee meeting and was the last who left the Senate building. Even the guards were wondering about the Senator.
About four weeks after returning from the Alderaan, Padmé began feeling bad. At first she had a little dizzy spells, tiredness, then morning sickness, actually everything what a healthy female mind would interpret as clear signs. Padmé doesn't. But at some point after another week, when it wasn't getting better, she remembered that her cycle was long overdue. Even three weeks. She didn't want to know, didn't want to remember why. It can not be, what may not be. But it was useless, the calculation was correct; five weeks ago she slept with Anakin ... still her husband. She was pregnant.
What could she do, what did she want to do? Abortion? No, that would be murder. Have another child and then lose it? Why should she lose it? She is fine now, she is not stressed, she is not worried about her husband who is never at home. It will be fine ... and she is a married woman. Yes, she is Mrs. Skywalker. Why she shouldn't have the child? Not many friends knew that she didn't live with her husband, only close friends and ... the Jedis. So, she will have this baby. To say Anakin? She still had to think about. He didn't want her anymore, then he doesn't want the baby either. She thought she could do it on her own, she's been through this on her own before.
What was very difficult was the nausea that plagued her and she had no one to comfort and help her. Yes, there was the good Dormé, but that was not the same as a loving husband ... but she has never had one like that, he was always somewhere in the galaxie, one mission after another. She knew it was not the truth, he was doing his job, she knew he would do that and yet she had blamed him for it. It was her own fault the marriage ended. She just couldn't understand he had no more feelings for her, she was his great love, that couldn't be possible, she didn't want to believe it. Of course not, if he didn't have any feelings for her at all, he wouldn't have slept with her. She'll tell him, but later. She put off the conversation with Anakin, yes, soon she will tell him.
The second trimester brought relief, she no longer suffered from nausea and could keep what she ate. She gained weight and you could already see her stomach. Of course, she cerried twins. She went to the checkups, but she didn't want to know the gender, it should be surprise. She dreamed of a boy with blue eyes and blond hair.
At the birthday party of the Chancellor Bail Organa, only his friends were invited, Padmé as closest friend next to Mon Mothma, but also most of Master Kenobi and Master Skywalker. Of course Bail knew the story, but he still hoped to see the two reunited at some point. Padmé didn't know the guest list, and neither did Anakin. Bail didn't know, didn't noticed, but Breha did. She knew Padmé was pregnant. Now Bail also knew and everyone who had eyes could see, even though she was wearing this elaborate senatorial robe. That evening she wore a beautiful, broad, olive-green robe with a purple bow. She wore her hair down, just like Anakin liked it. She was already there when the Jedi Masters came, standing with a Senator from Corellia and talking, a glass of Shuura juice in her hand.
Anakin walked into the big room and the first he saw was Padmé. He felt a tremor in the Force. She looked at the door and their eyes met. Anakin and Obi-Wan first greeted the host, congratulated him, gave him present, made a small talk and mingled with the guests.
"Anakin, do you want to say hello? Come on, let's go. We can't avoid her anyway. "
They walked up to her, she looked visibly nervous in their direction and when they stood in front of her, they looked at each other and nodded. Where the trembling of the Force was coming from was clear now, as was the signature ... almost identical to Anakin's. Obi-Wan recognized that too.
"Good evening Senator Amidala, Senator Bel Iblis"
The two returned the greeting.
"Senator Bel Iblis, I've wanted to ask you something for a long time, may I?" Said Obi-Wan and led him away.
When they were left alone, Anakin grabbed Padmé by the upper arm and practically dragged her onto the balcony. Fortunately there was no one .
"When did you want to tell me ?!" he asked angrily and loudly
"It ... it is not your baby ..."
"Don't lie to me Padmé ! I am a Jedi. I feel my children through the Force and their signature is almost identical to mine. Why are you trying this? Why!? Tell me why!" he was pretty loud.
"Children ... your children?"
"Yes, there are two that you are carrying and they are mine!"
"I don't know that there are two, medical check-up….. yes, I was there. I wanted to tell you soon, I swear. "
"When did you want to tell me !? I'm right to know. "
"You didn't want me, I thought you didn't want the baby either."
"How you can say something like that ... that I don't want my children? You're so hurtful again. That is exactly what broke our marriage, not because I did my job. "
"I don't know. Do you want them?"
"Of course I want them, they are my children"
"But they don't come into the Temple, I don't want that, the parents no longer have to give the children to Jedis."
"Padmé, the children have not yet been born and you are arguing again and besides, both parents decide and we are parents. I am the father. Already forgot?"
"I'm sorry Ani, I didn't want you to have to deal with it, I could handle it on my own."
"No you will not ! I am here and as a father, I will also take care of my children. "
"Thanks Ani. We will definitely reach an agreement. "
"Reach an agreement? To reach an agreement means to negotiate befor. I don't negotiate about my children. "
She took the small step closer and put her hands and head on his chest. He put his hands on her upper arms. It was good for him to have her so close again, to feel her against him, but if he allows it, it will end like the first time.
"Yes, we have to talk about it in detail, just we both in peace."
"Can you come to me next Sunday ... in the afternoon?"
"Yes I will come. We're going in now to celebrate Bail's birthday. "
"Let me hold my head on your chest for a minute."
He stood there feeling better than he had been in a long time. Through the balcony door Obi-Wan saw the scene and wondered if he would be challenged again in the event of a mental breakdown. The whole evening the two Masters stood together, Padmé was always close by and whenever she could she held demonstratively her husband's upper arm with her hand. He allowed it.
Next Sunday, as agreed, Anakin came. He docked with his speeder on the porch of her penthouse apartment in Republica 500.
"Come in, I've baked something, cake you like."
"I didn't come for to eat cake, we have a lot to talk about."
"Sure, but you won't refuse what I made especially for you."
"OK. but that was not necessary. "
She sat down on the sofa next to him, as close as possible and as far as necessary so that he didn't feel threatened in his comfort zone. She started:
"So, have you even thought about how we can arrange our lives to convey to the children that they have both parents?"
"We have some time until then, but I will move into a house, the children won't have to grow up in the confines of my Temple apartment. The laws have changed, you know that as a Master and member of the High Council I have a good income and can afford it. As long as they are still babies I will come here more often to spend time with them, I have to strengthen the bond between us through the Force. When they get older, I will take them with me for a while. So you will be relieved and you can go about your life. "
"My life will be only my children."
"Yes sure, but I mean when you want to go out. Do you want to go to Naboo, should the children be born there? "
"Yes, I intend to do that and when the time comes, I want you to come with me. I want you by my side, I can't do it without you. "
"You have already said that you can do everything by yourself that you don't need me."
"I was wrong."
"Padmé, please don't play with me. It took a long time to get out of the hole you threw me into. I can't go through that again. "
That sounded pretty final in her ears, but she didn't want to give up on him entirely. She still loved him, very much in fact, but didn't know how to get him back, he fought so stubbornly. She must have hurt him badly, so badly that he couldn't forgive ... ..or was afraid of seeing it happen again.
She offered him cake and knew he wouldn't be able to resist, he was a sweet tooth. He ate the cake and his face was cleared from gray clouds of previous conversation. In his face she saw sunshine, he even smiled.
"Let me know if you want to travel to Naboo, I still have to apply for leave. By the way, did you already choose the names for children? "
"For the boy Luke. You choose the name for the girl. "
"Leia maybe?"
"Luke and Leia Skywalker. Perfect."
"I thought you would want for them the name Naberrie."
"What makes you think that? They are your children and we are married, my name is Skywalker too. "
"Oh yes, that's right …... official, only as a note. Then, thank you for the cake, I have to go now. "
She walked behind him to the speeder and before he got in she said:
"Anakin wait…"
He turned and she threw her arms around his waist, her head resting on his chest. Anakin tucked her head under his chin and carefully put his arms around her, trying not to let anything come up.
"It feels so good for me…"
"Padmé, I have to go now"
He took her upper arms and parted with her. She wiped her own tears away and promised to get in touch ... before that.
She called him before every medical check-up and wanted Anakin to come with her. He liked doing it, he wanted to see his own children in Ultrasound. Every time everything was fine, the doctor was satisfied, asked a few more questions and then she said how she has seldom seen such happy parents. If she only knew ….
… .. five months later … ..
The date came closer and Padmé prepared for journey to Naboo. Anakin was nervous, the bad memories surfacing again. They went to her parents first, who were not surprised to see Anakin too, but they were told a long time ago how it really was about marriage. Still, they were glad to see Anakin on her side. Jobal asked Anakin to stay with Padmé, after all they were married. Padmé slept very restlessly, always turned from side to side, couldn't find a comfortable position, her stomach was always in way and it was huge.
"Anakin, help me, I can't take it anymore." She cried
He sat up, leaned his back against the headboard and spread his legs.
"Come on, sit down here."
She sat between his legs and leaned her back against his chest. It was a nice semi-recumbent position.
"A little more patience Padmé, it will be over soon."
"Just hold me, hold me tight."
"Yes, I'll do it"
He said that but somehow he was far away and out of reach for her.
"When do you want to go back to Coruscant?"
"In a month. Can you stay with me that long? "
"With you all, you mean? Yes, as long as necessary. Hopefully there are no complications ... "
"No, don't think about it. Everything will be fine, I know ... AUUUU ! "
"Oh gods! You have contractions? "
"Yes, we have to go right away, my bag please."
Since they were with their parents in Theed, they reached the clinic very quickly. Padmé was being prepared for childbirth and shoved into the delivery room. Anakin came with her. He sat there, holding her hands, her head and stroking her hair.
"Don't stop, it's so good."
He knew that if he continued like this, his peace would disappear… .but they were his children, he had to help greet them on the world. It took hours. And then it was time. Padmé was instructed to push, what she did and after a short time Anakin heard his son's first scream. There was no denying it, and hiding that overwhelming feeling, he was crying. As soon as he wiped his tears away, he heard his daughter's screaming. The children were cleaned, swaddled, and placed in their parents' arms. Padmé took her son Luke and Anakin took his daughter . She looked like her mother, he kissed her.
"You are my little Angel," he smiled and said to his daughter
"I thought I was your Angel"
Anakin didn't want to argue and remind of the ugliness. He just said:
"She is my little Angel."
The parents came later, as did Sola, to admire the babies. After a few days, Padmé came home. They didn't sleep much, the first time until they got used to the rhythm was exhausting. Anakin helped as much as he could, just as any father would. Sure, they were his children.
Padme kept trying to get closer to him, but he kept her on distance. He didn't want to be break again. No matter how he resisted, he saw how the distance between them shrank. The children were to blame for that. Not to blame, of course, he thought. It was inevitable. He wanted to be a father, so the contact with the mother was inevitable ... ..and the mother tried to keep this contact as intense as possible.
The situation on Coruscant was more complicated, Anakin had to work, Padmé was on maternity leave. He came whenever he could, sometimes during the day, sometimes he stayed overnight. He slept on the sofa in the living room. Padmé didn't know how to lure him into bed. After so many years, she was aware of her mistakes and wanted to get everything right again, but she did not see Anakin's deep fear of repetition. He masked his fear with disinterest very well. Whenever he came to spend time with his children, she tried to walk lightly dressed through the apartment, or just to come out of the bathroom wrapped in a bath towel, or to leave the door open ... but he didn't react.
Padmé didn't go out, she wasn't interested and the children were still babies . The only joy she had, were the hours Anakin came to spend some time with the kids. He loved his son idolatrously, and it seemed to her that he loved his daughter a little bit more. She loved both equally, but her son, with his father's blond hair and blue eyes, loved a little more, although she would never admit that.
….one year later…..
When the children learned to walk, Anakin moved into a beautiful house with a garden, so children had plenty of space for sandboxes, swings, slides and other children's facilities. There was no such thing in the Republica 500, and as time passed and children became aware of these benefits, they wanted more and more time to spend with their father.
Anakin felt great being a father and forced himself not to notice the mother of his children.
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Next chapter : February 25, 2022
Regards from Germany and stay true to me.