So we interrupt this regularly scheduled programming to bring the mandatory flashback scene! It bleeds right into the prologue, and I'm going to say this now, some skeevy shit gets said. If Seiji does actually have a brother I'm not aware of, I'm sorry. Shizuo and the other victims in this are basically OCs that are referenced and you finally get some insight on her time at Shiketsu. Just buckle up. Provisionals pick back up next chapter.

Seiji didn't always hate me. We knew the bare minimum about each other, and during the first two or three weeks of our first year, we would sit at the same table and study. I think it's because we were both quiet at the time, and we didn't talk to each other outside of asking for mutual help on a math problem or translating a phrase into English. I guess he was my first taste of friendship, until it all came crashing down towards the end of our first month.

"Who's your friend, Sei?"

"She's not my friend. We just happened to be sitting at the same table."

I look up from my textbook and notes, seeing the upperclassman leaning over my table mate and messing with his hat. They looked similar, but the upperclassman had longer hair he had tied back in a ponytail. He smiles at me, tilting his head as he flips the hat off Seiji's head and holds it out of his reach. I glance around to see if anyone else is looking, shrinking down in my seat a little.

"Shizuo, give me my hat."

"Oh come on, don't get that tone with me. You know I'm just playing with you," he laughs, handing it back to him. "Don't mind my brother, he's a bit stuck up. Anyway, what's your name?"

"It's Salinsa," Seiji answered for me, fixing his hat on his head before returning to his homework. "She's that girl who got into my class a year early."

"Oh the girl who likes to play quirkless during your training simulations?" Shizuo says, folding his arms on top of Seiji's head and resting his chin on them. A vein ticks in Seiji's forehead. "Yeah, you're all the talk in our classes. It's a miracle you're staying in this course acting like that. Must have some serious talent if you wanna play that way. I'm Seiji's big brother, Shizuo Shishikura. We've the same quirks, but I think I'm better looking."

"Please stop leaning on my head."

"Aw, am I cutting off the blood circulation to that brain of yours?" he teases, laughing after. He redirects his gaze to me, tilting his head. "It's nice to meet you, Salinsa. We're friends now, okay?"

"O-okay…"

"Oh, c'mon, don't say it like that," he groans, getting off Seiji's head and pressing his palms on the table to lean forward and smile brightly. "Say it proudly! You're in one of the best hero courses in Japan, act like it!"

"Um-um…I-I…Ri-right, yeah, we-we're friends."

"Eh, we can work on that. I'll leave you two to do your homework and stuff. See you at home, Seiji!"

Shizuo Shishikura. A third year and Seiji's older brother. Despite their interactions, it wasn't difficult to see that Seiji looked up to him. He was nice, and talked to me when Seiji and I would be in the library together studying. And eventually, I opened up about my quirk.

"So you can make people relive memories and feelings? That's actually really cool!" Shizuo told me, beaming nice and wide as he always did.

"It would be if I could control it. It-it's kinda why I just play quirkless. It's easier to do that than to admit I can't…do what everyone else can."

"Okay, yeah that makes a lot of sense. Here," he says, pulling my notebook over and taking my pen from my hand. "Meet me here after the third period. I have a free period for fourth and can help you with working out that control. If we get in trouble, I'll take that blame."

"O-okay…tha-thank you Shizuo-senpai."

"Oh you don't have to be all formal. You're my baby brother's friend. Why wouldn't I help you?"

So I met him in the spot he specified after the third period. It was secluded, and if no one was looking for it, they wouldn't really notice it. Out of the way, very little light and blocked off from the main hall. I almost got lost trying to find it. But Shizuo was there waiting patiently, with his smile plastered on his face when I got there.

"Took you long enough, Salinsa," he told me, coming over and patting my head. My face flushed at the interaction, but it seemed…off. Really off. The air he had, and the smile-it was all different from the Shizuo I had come to know in the library. He was making my skin crawl from being near him.

But what was different?

It was the same person, it was still Seiji's older brother. Same looks, same eyes, same personality-but why does he feel so different? Why is he different?

It wouldn't take me long to find out.

"Y'know you're really cute and smart," he told me after a minute or two standing in silence. I stiffened and looked up, surprised by the compliment and softness to his tone. "And I've liked you since we met."

"Ah..ahum..Shizuo-"

"So I want you to be my girlfriend, okay?" he told me, and I felt trapped against a wall. "I don't care that you can't control your quirk, because you won't have to worry about it at all being with me. You can drop down to general studies, and I'll be a hero for us both."

"I-I-Shizuo, n-no, I-I want-"

"I know what you want, but I'm telling you what you need. You won't make it as a hero," he kept going, physically backing me against the wall behind me. I flinch as he presses his hands against the bricking on either side of my head, starting to feel claustrophobic as he leans towards me. Tears prick at my eyes. "You're too timid. And you're weak. A hero scared of their quirk is more of a hindrance than an asset. So, agree to be with me, and you can drop down to general studies, and we can get married after you graduate. You'll never have to worry about it again."

"I-I don't want to do that," I protested, reaching out and pushing at his chest. He barely moves, raising an eyebrow. "This-this isn't funny, Shizuo!"

"I'm not joking. So you're going to be mine, or I'll make your life a living hell until I graduate. I think the choice is obvious."

"It-it's not-no!" I protested again, my legs shaking. "I-I'm not doing that! I'm going to be a hero, and I-I don't want to be your girlfriend or your wife-you-I thought we were friends!"

His smile fell, screwing into a snarled frown. I pulled my hands away, shivering as he dropped his arms and took a step back with his chin tucked into his chest and his face shadowed by his hair. After a few seconds, he laughed, shaking his head and pushing his hair from his face.

"Right, right, this was all a joke," he said instead, shrugging. "Who'd want to date some broken ass girl anyway? You're never going to make it as a hero, hell you're going to flunk out of the hero course before long anyway. Shiketsu won't pass a girl who can't control her own quirk, and you're just a waste of space. Just do the world a favor and die."

"Shi-Shizuo-"

"And stay away from my brother before you rub off on him and he thinks it's okay to act as pathetic as you do. Honestly. Throwing yourself at everyone and looking for pity because your quirk is scawy? Grow up. And wearing those sleeves-you aren't fooling anyone, attention seeker."

"I-I'm no-"

"You are. You're an ugly person, and I'm doing you a favor by pointing it out to you now, before someone a lot meaner does it for me. Throwing yourself at me like that, honestly. Anyone else would have taken advantage of you, but I'm a nice person so I didn't. Be glad and thank me."

"Th-thank you, Shizuo…" I mumbled, looking at my feet and fighting tears. He left without another word and I sank down to the floor, holding my head and trying hard not to cry. He had just reaffirmed most of what I had thought of myself, and the sudden reveal of who he actually was left me reeling.

But I did what he told me. I stayed away from Seiji, who began to hang out with Camie anyway and they seemed to get along better than anyone would have thought. Rumors started to circulate around the school, about me confessing to Shizuo and him turning me down. It was said that I lost my cool and tried to attack him, but he subdued me. He didn't press charges because how sad and lonely I was anyway, and didn't know how to cope with the interaction.

It was easier to take the verbal and emotional abuse from my classmates than to correct them. No one would believe me anyway, so why try? Shizuo even sent some second years to harass me, and my classmates in my homeroom wrote cruel things about me on my desk, laughing at me when I came in and saw it. Then getting mad and making more cruel remarks as I cleaned it up without a second thought.

The teachers didn't do anything. They didn't even think anything was wrong, and that I was just…well, I don't know what they actually thought of me. I tried to tell them, but they just shrugged it off as competitive spirits inside the hero course. Every time I tried to tell Reina and Keigo, something came up and our conversations got cut off and they forgot.

I felt alone. It wasn't the same loneliness from before, which was bearable and easily numbable with books and homework. This one ate at me, and I couldn't sleep, I didn't eat. Even my books seemed less appealing, and I found myself reading the same line for hours because I just couldn't will myself to keep going past that. It got to the point, I wanted to go to Shizuo and tell him that I'd do it, if it got everything to stop.

Because he was right. I wouldn't be able to make it as a hero. If I can't handle a little bullying, how am I supposed to handle the criticism that comes along with being in the spotlight as a pro?

There was an assembly coming up soon, ironically on bullying and getting along with your fellow heroes in the field, led by retired hero Galliant. I had resolved to talk to Shizuo then, when everyone else would be focused on the hero and I'd have a moment to breathe during the day. But during that same day, the bullying turned from verbal insults to physical assault.

"Stupid bitch," one of his friends had called, wrenching a handful of my hair back. I tried to lean into it to lessen the pain, but that just made her pull harder. "Shishikura already told you no! How fucking desperate are you that you can't understand that!"

"Oh come on, Akane," Shizuo sighs, shaking his head despite the cruel smile on his lips. "You know who she is. She can't help it."

"Maybe she needs a refresher on what she is," another one of his friends remarked as Akane let go of my hair. "A disgusting little nobody who won't even be in the hero course after this semester."

"Shi-Shizuo-"

"Ugh, she thinks she has the right to call Shishikura by his first name?"

"You're fucking sickening to look at. Who'd want anything to do with you?"

"I-I just need to talk to Shizuo, pl-please, I-I'm not-"

I felt the punch to my stomach before I saw it. It hurt so much, so much more than the movies and shows made it seem. I wasn't even hit as hard as that while training under the Commission. I dropped to my knees, coughing and dry heaving, feeling the bile in my throat burning.

I have to be honest about something. I lied before-about not remembering the people who died. I do remember them. I remember their names. I remember their faces. I hate myself every day for what happened, not because it happened, but because I felt about it as it was happening.

Shizuo Shishikura, Akane Murase, Kalena Koreha. Mrs. Blaise, Mr. Demos. Galliant. Those are the names of those that died that day because of my quirk. I just wanted them to stop, I just wanted it all to stop. I should never have gone to Shiketsu.

Because then I wouldn't know how good it feels to watch someone die.