December 1996
Quiet. Things were oddly quiet. Or perhaps quiet was the wrong word, but instead everyone had just begun tolerating the 'new normal'.
And tolerating was likely the wrong word as well—after all, the resistance effort against Voldemort was still in full swing—but it was hard not to accept that things were in a sense of chaotic limbo right now; that nothing was changing overnight.
Mysterious disappearance and deaths were still commonplace; Diagon Alley and other spots around the country were still plagued with daily Death Eater disruptions and destruction. At this point, many witches and wizards—the ones that could manage—had fled to safer refuge; some even among the Muggles. Fleeing and hiding, that was what many were doing
Even Isabelle, who'd originally had plans to only leave for the summer, had a change of heart. Fleur had heard this straight from the source after a recent trip to France, when Isabelle informed her she would not be returning to England any time in the immediate future. Both she and Fleur's own parents had advised her—begged her—to do the same. They couldn't fathom why she and Bill couldn't pick up and come to France, where things were safer; where they could plan for their wedding and future in peace.
"Mais la guerre viendra à nous," Fleur had told her parents upon her last visit, letting them know that they really weren't safe either in the grand scheme of things. War would eventually come to them too if people allow evil free rein. People needed to stand up for themselves.
"Mais ce ne sont pas tes affaires," said her mother, informing her that this war ultimately did not concern her and was above her head. Her concerns should be on her upcoming wedding; on making sure she and Bill were safe and sound; on planning ahead for their future.
Fleur couldn't even pretend to hide her annoyance at that train of thought. She'd actually left things a bit terse with her mother once she'd left the country by simply stating: "Cela concerne tout le monde. Il n'y a pas d'avenir à avoir si nous ne nous battons pas."
This all concerned everyone. There is no future to plan for if everyone ran away and did not try to fight it.
But no matter what Fleur told her family, it never stopped the long discussions about how she did not want to leave England. The idea that Bill couldn't leave his family or his job always seemed to fall on deaf ears—her family didn't understand—but that was to be expected. She had given up the pretense of acting like she wasn't a part of this resistance effort any longer. She'd tiptoed around it with her parents for ages, and while she still hadn't admitted outright that she was prepared to fight, she didn't deny it anymore.
It created very awkward conversations whenever she was home now.
And she was home quite often these days—once every couple of weeks. Because she and Bill had set a date for their impending wedding for the following July—the two year anniversary of their first date. They had an unspoken agreement that if they could both survive and make it to July—which was a rather morbid and unnerving thought, though one they had to have—they would have an intimate and lovely ceremony followed by a lavish party with their families and friends.
If time became something they no longer had, the option of eloping was still always available. And if something happened to one of them, well...she and Bill frequently told each other that worst case scenario, the idea of knowing the other wanted to marry them was almost good enough. Almost...
But setting a date and making plans for an actual wedding gave them both something to look forward to in these dark days. A bit of normalcy in the chaos; a reason to move forward after news of an attack or a disappearance reached them. It was a distraction that they not only needed, but their families needed as well. Some light within the dark.
The wedding was to be at home—in France—on a more secluded and private beach that her family was very familiar with. They were to be married at sunset; they'd agreed to have the reception outdoors, though a tent would be necessary despite Fleur's initial hesitation to have one. She wanted open air; the night sky and stars as part of their decorations. But as her mother explained, the beach was accessible to non-magical people and the idea of someone stumbling upon a bunch of wizards gathered on a beach may not have been in their best interest.
Bill had agreed, claiming a tent would hide much of that and they could always go outside if they wanted, so Fleur had conceded. But that had been the one thing she'd been willing to really relinquish. She was going to fight for everything else to be as perfect as the vision she had in her mind.
"The colors are white and gold," she was telling a very large, broad-shouldered, heavily tattooed man as the pair strolled the streets of Hogsmeade late one December evening.
It was a frigid, clear night; the day before Hogwarts was to let out for the holidays. She, Bill, and much of the Order had actually been spending loads of time in Hogsmeade recently on Dumbledore's orders, patrolling the streets and the perimeter of the school grounds for signs of trouble. Many strange occurrences had been happening at the school—even an attempt on Dumbledore's life in October via a cursed necklace that a young girl had got a hold of instead of Dumbledore—but on the whole, things were relatively quiet.
Occasionally, people resembling the typical sort of Death Eater could be found wandering around or popping into the Hog's Head pub, but as of yet, they never made much noise. Diagon Alley seemed to be where the ruckus was primarily still focused; Hogsmeade was generally left alone, likely because it was right under Dumbledore's nose.
That was why Fleur was here this evening with her current company, both of them now passing the nearly empty Three Broomsticks pub on a mostly deserted street. Bill had been with them until moments prior, but he had stopped at the Hog's Head to speak with the owner. It had been decided that only he would go and the other two would carry on patrolling.
Fleur was to remain close to a more experienced Order member, seeing as she was still newer to these assignments. She'd only ever worked with Bill before—she'd almost felt like his apprentice on all things Order related—but it was recently decided she should get used to working with others, and alone, since it wasn't always going to be possible for her and Bill to do the same things. She was currently attempting to learn the ways of someone new...
"White and gold are lovely colors for a wedding," said the man beside her, his very deep voice nearly echoing in the vacant streets. "Have you decided on flowers?"
"I believe so," Fleur said, immediately running through the list of flowers she'd already narrowed down to a final three. She was now wishing she'd brought the notes she'd been collecting for her wedding so she could share them, even if that would be completely out of place while wandering around a village on patrol. Still, the notes would make remembering all these details much easier, considering her current company was interested in asking questions.
That was because her current company was Tonks, who had morphed into an unrecognizable, large, and rather frightening looking man. It was actually rather amusing to watch her current weathered, haggard, frightening facial features perk up at the mention of sunset vows, flowers, and talks of the ice sculptures Fleur wanted.
"I have been struggling to find the exact flowers that I want," Fleur continued, watching as Tonks examined a nearby alley. "Obviously the shade of gold I chose is not found in nature—"
"You could charm the flowers any color you want," Tonks said absently, still checking the alley. "Couldn't you?"
"Yes, I think that is what we will end up doing," Fleur said with a heavy sigh, having already thought of that. She'd actually been speaking to Bill about charming flowers two nights ago—whether it would look good or not—though he'd rather quickly told her he was sure anything she decided upon would be perfect. While he cared about very specific parts of their wedding planning, flowers were not one of those things.
Fleur examined the alley herself, watching Tonks' mannerisms and how alert she was at all times while she was working. She was always double checking things, but in a very non-obvious sort of way. Fleur attempted to mentally keep notes on her habits—the habits of a trained Auror—but so much of it just seemed natural to Tonks that it was often hard to completely follow.
"But do you think charmed flowers will look…" Fleur asked once Tonks had finished and was walking again. "How you say...? Tacky?"
Tonks didn't look at her, but shook her head—or rather, not her head, but the head of a much larger man. "No, not if it's done right."
"I would need to make sure it is done right," Fleur said more to herself.
"I'm sure you'll figure it out," Tonks offered. She even looked over at her and mustered up a lazy sort of smile.
It was actually nice to see Tonks in a decent mood this evening, chatting more and not as dispirited as she'd had a habit of being these last few months. This summer she'd seemed depressed; her morphing capabilities had even been affected and it was nearly impossible to get anything but clipped, sad, rather business-like answers out of her. She would pop by the Burrow at times, but she never wanted to socialize like she had when Fleur had first met her. She would instead have a quick chat with Molly before departing nearly as quickly as she came; always carrying an imaginary black cloud around her.
Her bubbly pink hair had turned brown and had yet to turn back; her cheerfulness and smile had been replaced by neutral expressions at best, and frowns at worst. Everything she spoke of was related to the Order or Auror happenings. It was all very different from the girl Fleur had first encountered—the only person to enthusiastically congratulate her and Bill on their engagement upon first hearing of it.
But there had been a bit of a turnaround in her mood in recent months. Fleur had noticed Tonks was more up and down lately. She seemed to be having a few more good days—or at least pretending she was. She'd got a handle on her morphing again, and there were occasions—like this evening—where a shadow of the former Tonks emerged. Her asking about wedding plans was a step in the right direction. There was even an occasional laugh and a few smiles. This Tonks would have never made an appearance three months ago.
Fleur observed as Tonks stopped to cast a revealing charm down the next vacant alley; listening as she now explaining to her how it was important to never just assume an alley or darkened space was truly empty. It was always best to check through a variety of spells because while most of these Death Eaters were a dumb as toast, there were their fair share of very clever ones.
"It's important never to let your guard down no matter what," Tonks said, sounding rather tired. "As Mad-Eye always hammered into us when I was in training, 'Constant vigilance.' He's not wrong about that." She gestured for them to keep walking. "I'll let you do the next one."
Fleur nodded in an obedient way, following after her as the pair walked in silence.
Tonks looked completely lost in thought, which made Fleur hesitate speaking as freely as she'd been moments before. Sometimes being one on one with Tonks could be awkward. Fleur was never quite sure which person she was going to get responding to her—the serious Auror; the gloomy, sad girl; the question asking, genuinely inquisitive woman. It was always a roll of the dice every single time they spoke, even during the span of the same conversation.
She knew for sure she wasn't getting that bubbly, silly person she'd initially met—she'd been gone for ages—but it was difficult to make conversation when one minute she'd be speaking to one version of her and the next, she'd get an entirely different version.
Bill always swore that Tonks was just heavily affected by the current climate; that it was breaking her down a bit, but Fleur didn't want to believe that. There had to be something more brewing underneath the surface with this girl; something specific causing these mood swings in her. After all she was an Auror—they don't just make anyone an Auror.
"So, have you found your wedding dress yet?" Tonks suddenly asked, cutting into Fleur's thoughts and throwing her for a bit of a loop. She could have sworn a moment earlier that Tonks was no longer in the mood to talk about wedding things and instead wanted to focus on patrolling.
Fleur shook her head. "Not yet, though not for lack of trying. I simply have not found the perfect one, despite seeing many. However, I have chosen the style of my bridesmaids' dresses, though I have not seen them in person yet. The picture is magnifique."
"How many bridesmaids are you having?"
"I could have had ten if I wanted to ask all of my cousins and close friends, but I have limited it to three. Two of my cousins that I grew up with and my younger sister."
"Oh, why limit it?" Tonks asked. "If it's one thing Bill has, it's no shortage of brothers to be groomsmen."
"That is what I said," Fleur said, gesturing back at her in a way that was happy someone else stated the obvious. "But he only wants Charlie to stand up with him as his best man. That is all. It is why I had to cut my list down because I cannot have ten while he only had one. That would look ridiculous. But Bill is very much 'less is more,' which…" She sighed, "really does sum up Bill very much."
Tonks laughed a little—a deep, throaty laugh that made Fleur want to question how exactly she managed to change her vocal tone to match her appearance so effortlessly. However, she didn't get the chance because Tonks was already adding, "When you put it that way, that actually does sound like Bill."
"It truly does," Fleur said with a smile and a good-natured roll of her eyes.
"All of it sounds really exciting," Tonks offered, though her tone was strange—as if she were sad, but pretending not to be. "Just being able to shop for a wedding dress. I can't even imagine…"
"It is wonderful," Fleur offered, looking over and seeing that Tonks' dark eyes were now focused on the ground as she walked. "A dream come true."
Tonks half smiled. Truthfully, even if Tonks was a bit moody, Fleur couldn't help but find it nice to have someone inquire about her wedding without having a hundred comments or opinions about how they felt things should be done thrown back at her. It was a welcome break from the conversations that she and her own mother were now constantly having; that her cousins and aunts were always having with her…
That Molly was inserting her opinions on…
Molly actually ran hot and cold when it came to the wedding planning. There were days she didn't seem particularly keen to speak about it all, still apparently feeling that everything was moving very quickly for her tastes. But then there were also days where she would sit and listen to Fleur go on and on about the details—often offering her "advice" as to how she would do things if she were her. How at her and Arthur's wedding they'd done things a particular way and the results had been lovely. Perhaps Fleur should consider some of those things for her and Bill?
But as far as Fleur was concerned, perhaps Molly should remember this was not the late sixties anymore and while some of things they did were likely "lovely" at the time, they seemed dated now. Perhaps she should also remember the two of them could not be more different when it came to…well, everything. They differed on everything. They had Bill in common. That was it.
"Be happy she's taking an interest," Bill had told Fleur a few weeks prior.
"Interest does not mean giving an opinion on everything I have chosen," Fleur muttered. "She told me today she thinks a white and gold color scheme may be too 'plain' feeling. That I should add more real color." She frowned for effect.
Bill smiled, coming over to wrap his arms around her. "It's our wedding, not hers. Nod and smile and then do whatever you want."
"I am not capable of simply nodding and smiling," Fleur mumbled, as if the idea of that was ludicrous. Bill 'nodded and smiled'. That was his key to life, not hers.
"In this case, it might not hurt to try it," he offered. "Less frustration on your end." He kissed her quickly. "Though, she did offer to make the wedding cake. The chocolate one you love so much. I told her we'd think about it—"
Fleur immediately wiggled free of his arms and pushed him away with a loud groan. She turned to walk off, ready to call off the whole engagement if for one moment he was being serious.
"I was kidding!" he called after her. "It was a joke."
Joke or not, the following day, Fleur had put it at the top of her to-do list to inquire into bakers who could make her wedding cake.
Everyone had opinions; that was to be expected, but sometimes it was just nice to tell someone about the details of her wedding without them offering a 'better' suggestion. She was not the type of woman who made choices lightly, so when she'd made up her mind, she knew that was the right course of action. It was lovely to not have that questioned, which is what made this chat with Tonks rather refreshing. She only had questions and inquiries about Fleur's choices. She never tried to add her own.
"On my next visit home," Fleur said as the pair walked a bit further, growing closer to the end of the village and nearing the path that led up to Hogwarts, "I have so many things to take care of. My mother has a list! Thankfully, Bill and I both will be going this time, so we are hoping to get much done.
"When's your next visit?"
"Soon," Fleur said. "After Christmas. Once Bill gets some time away from the bank."
Tonks slowed her pace and glanced over at her. "Does that mean you're spending Christmas here? Or the Burrow, I mean?"
Fleur didn't answer that right away, though she felt the corners of her mouth pull a bit. The truth was that, yes, she would be spending Christmas here this year because she wanted to be with Bill. He hadn't been able to get much time off at work for the holidays due to all the increased security measures at Gringotts he was responsible for.
She easily could have gone home and seen her family; she could have enjoyed her favorite time of the year with her favorite people and partaken in all of their most special traditions that meant the world to her. But ultimately she'd chosen to spend Christmas with her most favorite person.
And his family…
But she wasn't trying to think about not seeing her family for Christmas because it hurt her heart when she did. As it were, she was to be married soon enough, and that meant compromising her time and breaking some routines. She needed to start making her own traditions with her future husband, and for now that meant trading off the holiday with each other's families. As "luck" would have it, this year they were spending it with the Weasleys.
She finally muttered, "I am. Yes. We will be celebrating with the Weasleys."
Tonks hummed, though it sounded rather brusque coming from her large, male form. "That will be nice."
Now it was Fleur's turn to hum, if only to acknowledge that she'd heard her. She didn't have much more to comment on that.
"Molly invited me over," Tonks said, pausing on the pavement for a moment. "Which was very kind, but I already have plans with my own family."
Fleur couldn't help but feel the slightest pang of jealousy as being able to so casually turn down Molly Weasley's invitation in favor of her own family, but she let none of that bubble to the surface. Instead, in an attempt to keep this chatty version of Tonks around, she asked, "Do you have a large family?"
She shook her head. "Nope. Just me and my folks." She threw Fleur a look. "Literally just me and my folks. My dad was an only child like me, and he doesn't have any family around anymore outside my mum and me. Then my mum was disowned by her entire family…"
That last bit caught Fleur's attention, and her expression clearly said so because it made Tonks quickly add, "Trust me, it was a good thing. She comes from some very bad stock. An old pureblood family who follow You-Know-Who around, believe in pureblood supremacy, and would be thrilled to see all non-magical people wiped out."
"Oh," Fleur said, still finding herself surprised to hear all of this. Tonks came from one of those families?
"But mum didn't agree with any of that, so she distanced herself as soon as she could," Tonks added. "Married my dad—a Muggleborn—and got herself disowned." She shrugged. "She's alright with it."
That was rather interesting, and Fleur realized she'd never have suspected a story like that from someone like Tonks. She didn't know what exactly she expected, but it lined up more with something far more typical and average; certainly not one that stemmed from having Death Eaters as direct relatives. She suddenly wondered what if Tonks had ever been forced to arrest one of her family members…
"It must have been strange," Fleur began. "To go from that sort of family to having a daughter who is an Auror."
"Yeah, it was a change, for sure," Tonks offered. "Took mum a minute to come around on the idea, seeing as she grew up being told not to trust Aurors for obvious reasons. But again, she's alright with it now." She paused. "I mean, she sort of is. She's not exactly keen on all the dangerous situations I put myself in, but that's to be expected."
Fleur hummed a bit, allowing herself to take all of this in as they walked. She really knew nothing about this girl, she realized; if Bill did, he didn't speak much to it. As long as she had her here chatting a bit, she may as well attempt to get to know her. Perhaps get some insight as to why she'd been so moody lately.
"What is it you do for fun?" Fleur asked.
"Sorry?" Tonks asked, looking back at her as if that was random.
Fleur let her expression say that it was a rather straightforward question. "I just know so very little about you, and seeing as you are the only other female in the Order under the age of thirty, I was simply wondering what it is you do for fun. Do you have hobbies? Do you have friends?"
"I have friends," Tonks said a little defensively. "Obviously." She stopped in her tracks. "I'm just very busy right now, so I don't get to see them much."
Fleur nodded as if she could understand that, but an awkward silence did fall between them. At least that was the impression Fleur got from Tonks' perspective. It wasn't particularly awkward on her end, but she could see Tonks shifting her weight awkwardly.
"I mean, it's not as if I have ten people I could ask to be in my wedding, but I do have friends…"
Fleur nodded.
"Not loads," Tonks continued to add, answering a question no one asked. "Because my job is very demanding of my time. Hard to keep up with people…"
"Bill has the same problem," Fleur said. "He says he has drifted from many of his old friends." She laughed a little. "He would tell you he does not have any friends anymore."
Tonks' looked back at her. "That's interesting because he was always very popular back in school. He had loads of friends."
Fleur shrugged. "That is what I hear, but that is not the case now. He now has me, the Order, and his family." She sighed rather heavily. "It is much the same for me, of course. I do not speak to my friends as much as I'd like due to the distance. It can be hard since I am used to having many people around. I have Bill, of course, but sometimes…" She paused for effect, observing Tonks carefully. "I feel alone."
Tonks was nodding slowly. Fleur waited to see if perhaps she'd struck a nerve. Maybe Tonks was feeling lonely lately, which—compounded with all the doom and gloom—may have sent her into a bit of a spiral at times. Fleur knew how desperate and alone she'd felt around the anniversary of the Tournament six months ago. She'd nearly chucked Bill, packed her bags, and moved home. Loneliness and hopelessness could truly really do a number on someone.
But Tonks wasn't showing signs that the comment had meant anything specific. In fact, all she could offer was, "I've always been a bit of a loner, to be honest. Probably because I've always been different." She gestured to herself, which Fleur took to mean her appearance and her ability to change it. "It was always hard to make sense of it to kids my own age, so I always found ways to rebel and get into little spots of trouble. I gravitated to adults. I used to sit around with my professors after classes instead of running off to muck around with friends, which…seems embarrassing to admit now."
Fleur offered up a small smile.
"But they understood me. And they wanted to talk about really interesting stuff, like difficult magic or history—stuff I was interested in. Kids my age didn't want to talk about that. I thought I was so grown up and so clever for my age and everyone else was so immature." She laughed a little, as if that was silly to say. "I don't think that anymore, but to this day all of my friends tend to be older." She forced a grin. "I was certainly not Bill 'everyone loves me' Weasley."
"Bill has said you were friends in school," Fleur offered, which was true. Bill had mentioned repeatedly he and Tonks had known each other for ages. That they'd been friends.
"He's being generous," Tonks said. "We weren't friend friends, but we were friendly because he was a nice bloke. We didn't hang out or anything. He knew me because I was the Metamorphmagus girl and everyone knew me for that. I knew him because he was Bill." She paused. "And because he was Charlie's brother."
"Were you and Charlie friends?"
Tonks shrugged. "More than I could claim I was with Bill. We were in the same year, so we had classes together. We played against each other in Quidditch—he was really good. But again, we were friendly because he was friends with everyone. Both him and Bill. That's why I find it funny Bill claims he's got no friends now because he used to have so many."
"As you mentioned, he simply does not have the time for much more than what he is already dealing with," Fleur said. "Between the bank, and the Order—"
"No, I completely understand," Tonks said, nodding. "The couple of mates I can claim to have had at school I never see anymore. There's just no time in the day. The people I'm closest to lately are all in the Order." She pulled a funny sort of expression. "Mad-Eye is probably my best mate right now, and I'm not even sure he likes me much."
Fleur laughed at that, which made Tonks grin a little. She even added, "I'm kidding," though just as quickly quipped, "At least I think I am…"
"I do not think Mad-Eye likes anyone," Fleur said, thinking then of the one-eyed man with facial scarring who often barked orders and seemed perpetually paranoid and aggravated about everything. Even Bill seemed to butt heads with him—mostly when Mad-Eye went on about goblins as if he was in a better position than Bill was to comment.
"He does like some people," Tonks offered, "he just has a funny way of showing it. You have to get to know him like I have. He truly is a brilliant Auror. I can only hope to reach the level of what he's achieved one day."
It was then that Tonks immediately launched into a story about one of her earliest Auror assignments when she'd been fresh out of training. How Mad-Eye had been there with her and how watching him work had made her realize that she'd made the right choice in becoming an Auror. They'd apparently busted up an underground group of dark wizards, and Tonks' nostalgia for the experience was practically palpable. She was clearly proud of the part she'd played in that task. It may have been the first time Fleur had seen her genuinely smile in months.
As Fleur listened, she noticed that Tonks' truly did light up when she spoke about certain aspects of her job. Make no mistake, she gave off a distinct impression that she enjoyed her career, even if it was rather demanding and consumed much of her time. Unlike what Bill often said, Fleur found it hard to believe that it was her job that was causing such swings in her mood. This was a woman who was fully aware of what she'd got herself into and seemed to be handling it just fine.
"Anyway…" Tonks suddenly said, clearly looking to shift the subject and continue on their patrol. "That's enough about me." She gestured to Fleur. "But your wedding sounds amazing. I'm not sure I'm even on the guest list, but if I happen to be—"
"Why would you not be on the guest list?" Fleur asked with a raised eyebrow. "You are on the guest list. As we have established, Bill does not have many friends right now that he will admit to, and you are one of the few he has mentioned. Of course you are invited."
Tonks' expression turned a bit funny, as if she was touched to hear that. "That's…wow, yeah, that's sweet. I didn't…" She shrugged. "I mean, I wasn't sure if you were even having a big thing with loads of people or if you were keeping it small with just family—"
Fleur waved her hand in a dismissive way. "I do not do 'small' if I can help it." She found herself frowning a little. "Though, we will see how things are by this summer and whether I do not have a choice to 'do small'. Every day something changes…"
Tonks nodded solemnly.
"But I am planning for the wedding of my dreams," she quipped, affirmatively nodding. "And I will invite everyone I desire. Including you."
Tonks half smiled. "Well, I hope I can come then."
"I hope you can as well," Fleur said, feeling as though this was a nice sort of moment. She wasn't exactly looking for the pair of them to be the best of friends, but given they were the only two young women in the Order, it would be nice if they could form a sort of allyship built around what similarities they shared. A friendship would even be nicer—Fleur still couldn't claim to have made many friends in the time she'd been here—but that was obviously to be determined. This seemed like a step in the right direction, though. An actual conversation about something other than death, disappearances, or the Weasleys…
"And if you come," Fleur said once Tonks gestured that they should turn back around toward the village, "you are of course welcome to bring a date." She glanced over at her. "I have never asked you about your personal life, yet we speak so much of mine. Do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a…?"
Tonks was already quickly shaking her head—almost too quickly. "Nope." She then frowned in an all too typical way, as if the black cloud had rolled right back in. In fact, her entire mood—which had been fairly up until this very moment had suddenly dropped off completely. "Verrrrry single."
Fleur, sensed that she may have touched a bit of a nerve. "Well, there is always time. July is still many months away." She let her tone sound breezy. "Are none of those Aurors you work with handsome? Or do they all look like Mad-Eye?"
"It has nothing to do with…" Tonks mumbled, quickening her pace to get a few steps ahead. "And anyway, the last thing I want is to be with an Auror. Too much trouble." She grew quiet. "My love life is complicated, so…"
She trailed off, apparently not planning on finishing that sentence. But as it were, Fleur was now intrigued. She felt as if she may have stumbled into something interesting.
"How is it complicated?"
Tonks glanced back at her, seemingly surprised she'd asked that question. Perhaps this was one of those British things where someone said something in a very open-ended way—one that begged for further inquiry—but when pushed to explain, it became apparent they had no actual desire to talk about it. It was as if they wanted it to be known they had an issue, but they did not want to discuss it.
This happened all of the time since she'd moved here; it wasn't something she was accustomed to in France. In France, if you said something was complicated, you had better be prepared to explain yourself.
Tonks and her giant form suddenly shrunk in on itself in an obvious way. "I don't…It's the longest story in the world—"
"We have nothing but time," Fleur said rather obviously, glancing around to the nearly vacant streets. There was an older couple crossing the road a few shops up, but otherwise it was only the two of them.
Tonks sighed and looked at her. Fleur could immediately tell she wanted to talk about it—it was something that was weighing on her—but she also did not. That was another thing about these British people, they were always so reserved.
"Long story short," Tonks muttered, "I fell in love with someone and I can't be with him."
"Why not?"
"Because he…" She looked down at the floor. "He doesn't…" She took a heavy breath, clearly struggling to get this out.
"He does not feel the same?" Fleur asked.
Tonks laughed a little at that, though it was humorless. "That's the thing, he does…"
Fleur's expression screwed up into confusion. "So what is the issue? This does not sound complicated at all. It sounds very uncomplicated, actually…"
"You'd think," Tonks muttered, still refusing to make eye contact. "But according to him, we can't be together. He thinks he'll drag me down. I've heard every excuse in the book. He thinks he's not good enough. That he's too poor, he's too old, he's too dangerous…"
"Dangerous?" Fleur asked. "What does he do that is so dangerous? You are an Auror. Are you not the dangerous one?"
"Again, you'd think so," Tonks muttered. "And I've told him I can handle 'dangerous'. I can handle everything he's trying to claim. I don't care about any of those things. I care about him, but he…"
Her jaw set tightly. "He refuses to see it or give it a chance. I'm just supposed to forget how I feel and move on. Find someone my own age." She looked down. "But I don't want someone my own age, I want him. I told you earlier, I've always felt closer to people older than me. This isn't something I'm unfamiliar with. I'm an old soul…"
Fleur wanted to ask just how old Tonks was talking—she even had a random flash of Dumbledore in her head for some reason, which…that would be quite old—but she didn't get the chance to ask because Tonks was already carrying on.
"But that's my situation," she muttered. "Madly in love with someone who refuses to give us a chance because he's got these stupid ideas cooked up in his head. And the worst part is that I can't stop thinking about him, especially because he's off putting himself in harm's way every single day. And that only makes me think about him more because I'm worried about him!"
"What is this person doing that is so reckless?" Fleur asked.
Tonks ignored her. She was clearly in her own world right now as she reached up and rubbed her nose, looking as if she was feeling a bit overwhelmed by emotion. Again, the sight of it coming from this large and burly man was rather jarring.
If Fleur had to guess, this man must be one of her fellow Aurors given all the talk of danger and 'harm's way'. But she'd just said she didn't want to be with an Auror, so that couldn't be it. The only other option was someone in the Order, but who was currently—willingly—on a mission doing reckless things 'every day'? As far as Fleur could remember, they were all on fairly typical sorts of assignments: night watches, tailing suspicious people, getting close to certain important individuals. Nothing overly reckless that she could remember.
Unless they really were talking about Dumbledore, because he was always up to something mad. Maybe Tonks was in love with Dumbledore…
"I don't even want to talk about him anymore," Tonks muttered with a quick sniffle, turning to walk away. "I don't know why I brought it up."
She walked ahead on her own, and Fleur let her so she could collect herself. At the same moment, the sight of a new figure appearing on the pavement from a side street now caught her attention. It was a man and he was walking in this direction; Tonks noticed him as well. Fleur found herself on high alert for all of five seconds before the figure passed underneath a street lamp and allowed her to recognize the most perfectly handsome face in the entire world.
Bill smiled as he drew closer to the pair of them, with Tonks immediately asking in a far more collected voice than moments earlier, "Anything interesting come out of the Hog's Head?"
He shook his head as the three of them converged on the same spot. "Not tonight. Aberforth said he's been getting some strange types popping in, but that's normal. None of the big names or faces. The way he put it, if anyone's up to something around here, they're sending in their dumbest and slowest scouts." He smirked. "How about you two? See anything?"
Both Tonks and Fleur shook their heads. "It's thankfully quiet," Tonks said. "We've mostly just been talking. Fleur has been telling me about your wedding plans."
"Oh, she'll talk your ear off about that," Bill said playfully, reaching over to give Fleur an affectionate rub of the arm.
"That is only you I do that to," Fleur said with a pointed sort of look at him, though she quickly smiled and stepped up beside him. "Though I will admit, Tonks has been a better listener about my flower issues than you have been."
"Guilty as charged," Bill offered. "But to be honest, they are just flowers, babe. Do we really need to give this much thought to the colors of some flow…"
He stopped talking when he saw not only Fleur shooting him a look as if daring him to finish that sentence, but to a lesser extent Tonks. When he saw the pair of them staring at him, he quickly corrected himself, "Evidently we do…"
Fleur reached out to rub his back, just as Tonks—who looked antsy—said, "Well, it's about time someone does a perimeter check of the school."
Bill nodded. "We can all—"
"No," Tonks said, shaking her head. "I'll do it. I don't mind. You mentioned earlier needing to be at Gringotts early tomorrow morning. And Jones will be out here shortly to help me. You two go."
Bill glanced at Fleur. "I do need to be at the bank very early tomorrow." He rolled his eyes. "Too bloody early."
Fleur nodded. He'd likely only get a few hours sleep, and that was if they left now. She had to be in early tomorrow as well, though not as early as him. He'd be gone before the sun was up.
Bill asked Tonks if she was sure, which she said she was. They all offered up their good nights before Bill suddenly added, "Oh, my mum wanted me to ask you again if you'd reconsider stopping by for Christmas. She was adamant about me asking."
Tonks smirked a little. "Your mother is relentless."
"You do not know the half of it…" Fleur muttered, which was met with Bill taking her hand in his and squeezing it.
"Tell her thank you again, but I'll be with my family."
Bill nodded. "That's what I told her, but she seems to have her heart set on having a big group over. She's even invited Remus, which—don't ask me how she plans on getting a hold of him when he's underground with the werewolves, but she claims to have her ways..."
Tonks' head snapped urgently in Bill's direction. "Has she heard from him?"
He shrugged. "Not that I know of. Not exactly like he can just owl as normal. He's got to be sneaky about it. Have you spoken to him at all recently?"
Tonks slowly shook her head. When she spoke, her voice was suddenly low. "Not in months. I only even know he's alive because Dumbledore tells us he is."
"Yeah, I'd be surprised if he came out of hiding for Christmas and risked blowing his cover," Bill said. "Could be dangerous, but stranger things have happened. We'll see." He squeezed Fleur's hand again. "You ready to go?"
She was, but she wasn't paying attention to him at the moment. Something clicked in her mind the moment Bill said the word 'dangerous'. Tonks' voice was now echoing, 'He thinks he's not good enough. That he's too poor, he's too old, he's too dangerous…"
And just as quickly, the image of Remus materialized in her mind—in shabby robes, his exhausted face presenting rather cheap wine at Harry's birthday party this past summer. She could remember Molly brushing it off as unnecessary when he apologized for not bringing anything nicer since he was on a fixed sort of income.
Ohhhhhhhhh…
"If I don't see you before, have a Happy Christmas," Tonks offered with a nod, already turning in the direction of Hogwarts. "I'll see you."
"You too," Bill called after her, and Fleur could feel him nudge her then as if trying to get her attention. "You got quiet. Everything alright?"
She nodded her head as if to say she was fine, smiling a bit now that the pieces of that puzzle had come together. She always enjoyed when she could put the pieces together.
And if she were completely honest, she was just relieved that it wasn't Dumbledore that Tonks was in love with after all…