Trigger Warnings: mentions of suicide and faking of a character's death
Leinei's knee bounces as she sits at her desk. She glances at her phone's clock, seeing she had about an hour before her alarm went off for her to get ready for class. Her stomach was twisting; she hadn't slept at all the entire night. How could she? Every minute that ticked down, each second that she breathed away, pulled her closer to leaving her friends, her home, leaving Katsuki. She couldn't even have one more school day with them all, Keigo having texted her a few hours ago that he'd be there right after everyone left for class.
She stares at the folded piece of paper sitting on her desk now, feeling sick. It was a letter to Katsuki, apologizing and still vague as hell because while she felt guilty for leaving, she knew the consequences of leaking classified information. She opens it, reading through it again to quell the growing anxiety inside her to make sure she didn't accidentally write any details pertaining to the mission. As she reads it over and over again, the growing realization finally dawns on her that it reads like a suicide note.
Well…that just gives me an idea to make sure they don't look for me…
"Are you not going to class today?"
Leinei looks up as she makes her sixth cup of coffee that morning, wearing a sleeveless hoodie and jeans with her hair pulled back. Mina tilts her head, confused at her casual wear when they all knew they had a test that day in Midnight's class. She smiles sheepishly, shrugging as she cradles her mug in her hands.
"No, my brother and I have something to do today," she tells her, shaking her head as she turns and leans her hip against the kitchen counter. "It's gonna be an all day thing, so we have to leave here soon."
"Did you want me to come with you?" Katsuki asks as he walks into the kitchen, having heard the tail end of the conversation before walking over to make himself a cup of coffee and grab something for breakfast. "I can always make up the test-"
"No, it's fine," she assures him, shaking her head as she sips her pick me up. "It's something we have to do for Reina and stuff. Just family business."
"Alright," he relents, coming over and kissing her gently as Mina's eyes go wide. Leinei smiles sheepishly as she shrinks down, her pink friend winking at her as her face goes red. "See you after school?"
"Ah…might be a little longer than that, but you'll see me eventually," she tells him, her voice a little strained. He notices it, but doesn't say anything, kissing her temple before chugging his coffee and washing the cup. She bid her friends goodbye, waving a little before hearing the door shut for the final time that morning. It was quiet in the dorms, almost too quiet. The loneliness was almost overwhelming, a ringing in her ears from the deathlike silence.
It's my last moments in my home…
She carries her coffee with her as she walks out of the kitchen and to the sitting area, remembering the days they spent around the tables laughing and doing homework. The hours they spent playing card games. The one time Denki brought his Switch down and hooked it up to one of the TVs and the entire class took turns playing Super Smash Brothers on one of their days off.
She traces her fingers across the back of one of the couches, the image of her and Katsuki curled up on the cushions after they first moved into the building burning bright in her mind's eye. She drinks her coffee, starting towards the stairs and climbing to her floor. Going into her room, she ignores the resurfacing memories of them cuddling in her bed, of their friends dogpiling them when she came back after Reina's death. Her fingers hover over the letter she had written him, not wanting to give it to him, to let him have the feeling she'll come back.
What if I don't?
She swallows a lump in her throat, picking the note up and carrying it with her to Katsuki's room. He left it unlocked, a habit he'd picked up after they both snuck into each other's rooms so frequently the others assumed if one wasn't in their room, they were in the other's. She looks around it, seeing the sparse All Might posters, the black bedding("It hides my sweating when it gets too hot," he had told her when she asked why), the neatly stacked manga on his bedside table, in the bookcase by his desk. Several photos sat on his desk, one of him with his parents during the entrance ceremonies to UA, one of him and Leinei cooking at the summer camp that Mina had taken without them knowing, and the newest one being the photo Mina had them take at the festival.
Her heart clenched again seeing how bright they were all smiling, compared to her. Her smile still seemed so sad. She sets the letter down on his desk, leaving it where he would find it when he came up to start his essays that Present Mic had told them they'd have this week, before picking up the newest photo. She brushes her thumb over Katsuki's stilled image, whispering a soft I'm sorry before placing the photo facedown on the desk.
She finishes her coffee as she returns to her dorm, kneeling down to pull her suit's case from under her bed and a backpack. She moves the clothes in there to it, debating on leaving the capture scarf before relenting and folding it neatly on top of her modified costume. She zips her bag up, leaving her empty coffee mug on her desk as she pulls her phone out. Tears burn her eyes seeing the last picture she'd taken with Reina and Keigo after she came home from the hospital following the Kamino Nightmare.
"You ready, Lei Bay?"
She looks up, seeing Keigo standing there in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. He offers her a wan smile, knowing this isn't easy for her as he watches her turn her phone off. He takes the battery she pulls out of it, turning it over in his hands as she takes the sim card out too, bending it in half so many times that it just falls apart between her fingers and she throws it away. She hands him the empty shell of a phone, her hands shaking as it feels a small piece of her has been ripped away.
"You're gonna be okay," he tells her as he pockets both items separately. He'd dump them somewhere else later. "You're my sister after all. Now the fun part…how do you plan on disappearing?"
A small smile graced her lips, not reaching her eyes. A pit formed in Keigo's stomach at the sight of the smile, flashing back to the mental hospital when he visited her after her attempt. She pulls her bag onto her back, hooking her fingers under the straps.
"Well, it'll be believable," she tells him.
After Class…
Katsuki yawns as he walks back to the dorms, ignoring Denki and Eijirou talking behind him. He just wanted to start his homework and check on Leinei, see how she was doing. He gets inside, and stops by her dorm first, knocking twice and not receiving an answer.
She must still be out with Hawks.
He shrugs and heads up to his room, closing the door behind him as he sets his bag on the bed. He undoes the clasps on it, pulling out his folders needed for his work, and a pen. He starts over to his desk, noticing something wrong. One of his photos was facedown, but he thought nothing about it. He probably bumped it this morning on the way out, right?
He fixes the photo and sits down, about to place his folder down when he sees the paper sitting on his desktop. His brow knits together as a small pit begins to form in his stomach. Picking it up before placing his folders down, he unfolds the paper and feels the pit drop as he recognizes Leinei's writing.
'Dear Katsu,
I was hoping I'd never have to write something like this to anyone. Well, not again anyway. I honestly don't really know what to say here, because I'm slightly hoping you never read this.
I love you. I don't know when exactly I fell in love with you, but I know it was sometime between Kamino and when we sang karaoke that day. More recently, I knew I was at home with you. I knew I was safe with you. I trusted you with everything, and in turn, you trusted me too. It makes this so much harder, but I want you to know, whatever happens, I will always love you. No matter what.
You showed me what a home could be, and what friends really are, and gave me a new family in doing so. You showed me that I wasn't as broken as I thought I was. You showed me that even I was capable of being loved, and loving someone in return. You accepted me without hesitation, when I was too scared to accept myself. For that, I will always be grateful. For that, you'll always be my hero, Katsu.
I know I don't deserve it, but can you do me a favor? Keep Mr. Spokes company. He'll be lonely without me, and he told me he likes hanging out with you. And, let Denks, Ei, Mina, and Sero know that I love them. Spending time with all of you and making memories with all of you were the best moments of my life, and I will always cherish each and every one of them.
One more thing: keep doing your best. You'll surpass All Might. I know you will. You have the drive and the talent, and the strength overall to do so. Just…don't be afraid to rely on others. That's one place All Might always lacked. If you can do that, then you're already a step closer to being the number one hero.
Regardless of that, you'll always be my number one hero. I love you, Katsuki Bakugo. Thank you for everything.
Love, Leinei Salinsa'
He reads the letter a second time, a third, a fourth. He feels like he can't catch his breath, his chest too tight as he places the letter down. He pulls his phone out and dials Leinei's number, going straight to voicemail as he leaves his room and hurries down the stairs to the sitting area. Her almost trips over the last two steps, catching himself on the bannister before correcting his posture as his peers look over from the news program they were watching.
"Who all has Leinei's number?" he asks, his voice cracking.
"Why? What's going on?" Denki asks, concerned as he stands up from the couch. Mina pulls her phone out, starting to call Leinei's number. Others start to follow suit, each one reporting that it's going straight to voicemail. Katsuki's head spins as he grabs the edge of the couch to keep his knees from buckling under his weight. "Bakugo, what's going on?"
"Tokoyami, you have Hawks' phone right? His work phone?" he asks, directing himself towards the crow headed boy. "Or his emergency line? Something that would make sure he picks up when you called?"
"No, I don't. I only have his email," Tokoyami replies, shaking his head as he tries to call Leinei's phone again. "He gave me his personal cell, but it's always busy. Or he just never picks up."
"Fuck," he hisses, running his fingers through his hair as tears of frustration bite at his eyes. His phone falls from his hand, hitting the corner on the floor and sending a small crack cradling the same corner before settling on its front. "She said she was going out with him today, she said she'd be home. Fuck, fuck!"
"Bakugo!" Eijirou yells, getting his friend's attention. "What the hell is going on? Why are you freaking out? What happened to Lei?"
"Um…I…guys," Yaoyorozu says, getting their attention towards the TV. A copy of Leinei's school ID was broadcasted on the news program, and silence fell across the entirety of the dorm.
No…no, no no no!
"A UA student was found at the shore of a river, believed to have jumped. Effects on her person, including her school ID, has confirmed that the student was one named Leinei Salinsa, a student in UA's Hero Course Class A." Katsuki's knees give out, and he falls on the arm of the couch. His head is spinning, and he feels like he can't catch his breath. "Her brother, second place Pro Hero Hawks, has refused to comment on how he's handling the news of her death so soon after the death of their sister Pro Hero Elementia."
"No…there…there's no way," Hagakure whispers.
"We just saw her this morning. She…she was smiling. She was happy," Mina says, horrified as she looks at Katsuki. "She wouldn't do something like this. She-Lei wouldn't-it's not true."
"There's no way it is. This has to be some prank Class B is playing on us," Hanta says, shaking his head as he stands up. His hands are shaking, and tears are bleeding into his eyes. "Leinei wouldn't do this. She wouldn't."
"Yeah," Izuku adds, turning the TV off now and leaving the common room in silence. He looks at Katsuki, seeing his childhood friend's face empty and scarily passive with tears running down his cheeks. Slowly, everyone looks towards him. "Kacchan..?"
"She…she left a note," he whispers, closing his eyes as the front door to the dorms open. Aizawa and several other teachers are standing there, having hurried over from the teachers' lounge after seeing the first few seconds of the broadcast. "She left a note saying she loved us, and that…that the memories she made here were the best of her life. That we were her family." He stands up, having managed to take a breath to steady himself. He uses the side of his hand to wipe his eyes and cheeks. He didn't know what else to say, having relayed the message she wanted him to. He turns away, not bothering to answer his teacher as Aizawa calls his name before starting up the stairs.
There had to have been signs…
She could've talked to me…
She could've come to me…
She could've said something…
I should've asked.
I should've been looking more.
I should've made sure she was okay.
The tears start again as he stops in front of her dorm, opening the door. Everything looked in place, just as she'd left it this morning. Mr. Spokes sat propped up on her pillow, looking at him expectantly as he walked over to the bed and sat on it. He picks the plush up, cradling it between his hands as he stares at it for a moment before hugging it to his chest and laying back.
'"No matter what happens, I love you."'
'"You're my home."'
He closes his eyes, hugging the plush tighter before starting to cry again. His sobs wracked his body, leaving him gasping for breath as he replayed each conversation they had recently in his head, searching for clues, for signs that she was going to do this and coming up empty. How was he supposed to know? How was he supposed to search for the signs when he didn't know there were any?
I should've said more to her this morning. I should've insisted I go with her.
I could've stopped her.
She'd still be here if I tried…
"Bakugo."
He looks up, his face red and his lungs screaming as he struggles to breathe. Aizawa is standing here, gently closing the door as the boy sits up. Katsuki tries to compose himself, looking away from his teacher as he wipes his face on his uniform sleeve. He doesn't let go of the stuffed porcupine, hugging it to his side. They stew in the silence for a few moments, before Aizawa sighs, rubbing the back of his head.
"She had her reasons for doing what she did," he says, watching as his student closes his eyes and shoves down another sob. "I'm sorry. If you need to take tomorrow off, then do so. No one will fault you."
"I don't need a day off," he hisses, looking up at his teacher before standing. "I'm fine. I'll be fine. Just..just leave me alone."
That Night…
Keigo glances at his phone as Leinei leans against the alley's wall with her backpack by her feet. Her freshly cut hair still felt weird to her, lighter even pulled back in a ponytail that barely brushed her shoulders. She'd since changed into her hero costume with all the modifications, having left the clothes she was wearing on the body double the authorities say committed suicide.
The modified suit abandoned her weighted gear, but still clung to her original purple and black color scheme. She traded her skirt for leggings, the three quarters sleeve crop top trimmed down to be completely sleeveless, hugging her chest and ribs while leaving her stomach open still. Her gloves were gone completely, and her boots had been lengthened to come up below her knees. In place of her visor, there was a plain white mask that covered her entire face, a film that matched the rest of the mask sitting over her eyes so that she could still see and use her quirk.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Keigo asks, looking up from his phone as his sister shrugs. He puts his phone away and steps forward, placing his hand on her shoulder. She looks up at him, taking a breath. "You're going to be okay. You're smart. You're strong. You'll get to go home soon."
"If they even let me back," she mumbles, shaking her head before leaning off the wall and grabbing her bag. She lifts it up on her shoulder, looking towards the end of the alley. "Don't we have to get to that meeting?"
"Yeah, I'm just waiting for Dabi to call me with the details of where to meet him," he replies, glancing at his phone again before pocketing it. He rubs the back of his head, closing his eyes for a moment before sighing. "I'm sorry. I should've fought more-"
"Should've is a bad mindset, Hawks," she replies, cutting him off as she pulls her new mask over her face and starts walking down the alley to the opposite end. "It gets you killed. Let's not do that."
He smiles sadly, watching his baby sister walk away from him. His shoulders slump, saddened that she was walking into the lion's den, but he was so damn proud she was doing it with her head held high. She looked so grown up, the small timid girl from mere months ago replaced by someone who had the confidence, who had the ability to do whatever she wanted with her life, with her future. She walked with a purpose, something that he was relieved she finally found, and hoped she hadn't found it too late.
Let's not make that a waste.
"Hawks, hurry up," she yells as his phone rings. She stops as he answers it, Dabi's voice coming through to give him the location to meet up. He hangs up after, then smiles weakly as Leinei turns to face him again.
"Let's go then."
At the Meeting…
Leinei crosses her arms as she stands towards the back of the crowd with Keigo, glancing around at the civilians, other villains, and, to her dismay, several heroes intermingling as ReDestro spoke. She bounces her foot, her boot's heel clicking on the floor as familiar faces walk out from an entry way at the back of the stage. Keigo glances at her as she lets out a slow breath, seeing the way her face goes slightly pale. He bumps her with his shoulder, getting her to look up at him and shooting her a smile.
"It'll be okay. M'not gonna let them hurt you again," he tells her softly, getting her to relax and nod in return. Cheers erupted around them, nearly deafening the both of them as those on the stage disperse. A few people walk up to Keigo, starry eyed as they get to meet the number two hero.
"It's so cool that you believe in this!" one says, her hands clasped in front of her chest. "I knew all of you weren't just heads in the clouds. I knew you were amazing, Hawks!"
"Long Live the Liberation," he replies, holding up a peace sign as Leinei glared at him out of the corner of her eyes. He lowers his hand as he looks over at Dabi approaching them. "Yoo, Dabi, what's up? Long time no see!"
"Hawks," he greets curtly, before seeing Leinei standing next to him with her backpack and the mask sitting on her head. He smirks, tilting his head as he studies her for a moment. "Let's take a walk."