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Toy Story: Mister Spaceman

Chapter 6: Inside Out

"Happy birthday to you. You smell like a poo. Hey Andy, now Warp's here, and to Buzz he says shoo."

Andy tried to smile, but catching sight of his reflection in the dorm's window, he looked more like a homicidal shark. "Thank you, Nick. I'll treasure that for the rest of my life."

"No you won't. But thanks all the same." He let out a sniff. "Though seriously, you smell."

"So do you," said Dwyer, as Andy sniffed his armpit.

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too!"

Of all the dorms in all the world, I had to end up with you guys. Andy looked at the two bickering children, as to who smelt more, or if they even smelt at all. Between them was a Warp Darkmatter toy – sworn enemy of Buzz Lightyear, traitor to the Galactic Alliance, and right-hand man of Emperor Zurg. Recently bought off Ebay by Nick for a mere 230 dollars.

Andy didn't think there was a "mere" to that at all, but Nick had explained otherwise. Lightyear was hot, ergo, its associated memorabilia was hot, and the rarer the memorabilia, the hotter it was. Buzz Lightyear action figures were a dime a dozen, but the characters from the cartoon? They were, to use the proper vernacular, "the hot shit." As to whether any of them would appear in the movie was another matter, but to Nick, it was academic. He had his Warp Darkmatter toy, and that was, as he'd also explained, "dope as fuck."

And truth was, Andy kind of agreed with him, as he looked at the toy in question. Pale blue skin. Dark blue hair, under which was a perpetual scowl. A laser blaster on his left arm, a for his right, and a spacesuit that was just like Buzz's, just 'darker.' 'Edgier.' Buzz Lightyear of Star Command hadn't made the same cultural impact as the original Lightyear film, but it had made a splash all the same, and it didn't surprise Andy that Warp would have fetched such a high price. He was the Venom to Buzz's Spider-Man, the Shadow to Sega's Sonic. He'd never got a Warp Darkmatter toy, but he'd watched the cartoon religiously as a kid, and had even got the game as well.

But even so, hundreds of dollars for a piece of plastic? Even if he wasn't drowning in debt, the thought of spending that much on a figure that wasn't even in mint condition appalled him. Or at best, perturbed him. Disturbed him? Troubled him?

Troubled. I'll go with troubled.

"Well, regardless as to who smells and who doesn't, Warp has a space beside Zurg," Nick said, as he put the evil emperor's right-hand henchmen between him and the Fantastics. "All I need now is his mortal enemies."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Dwyer said. "Those ones are even rarer."

"Early days, man. Early days."

"Not that early. Lightyear comes out next month. You should see how much Buzz Lightyear figures are going for on E-bay."

"Really? How much?"

Dwyer whispered something in Nick's ear that made him yell "get out of here." And while he was tempted to leave the conversation to run its natural course, Andy couldn't help but speak up.

"I assume kids are getting them."

His dormmates looked at him. Truth was, he didn't believe any such thing, but, well, it was his birthday. And at this age, he was thinking more about giving than receiving.

"Oh you poor sweet child," Nick sniggered, patting Andy on the head. "You think kids these days are into Buzz Lightyear figures?"

"I know a kid who was."

"Excuse me?"

"Family friend. Gave my Buzz toy to her before I left for college." And Woody, for that matter…

Nick and Dwyer stared at him, as if he'd claimed that the Earth was flat, or that God was dead, or that America wasn't the greatest country on the face of the planet. Which, if God was dead, meant that it wasn't nature under Yahweh, but-

"You gave him away?" Nick whispered. "Your Buzz Lightyear?"

"Um, yes?"

"Christ man," Dwyer whispered. "Do you know how much you could get for that?"

"A dime?" Andy asked, looking at Nick. "That's what you said, right?"

Nick shrugged. "A dime. Or more. Maybe ten. But seriously dude, what the hell were you thinking?"

The way he looked at him, Andy reflected. It was as if he'd just claimed the Earth was flat.

"Just thought a kid might have liked it more than me," Andy said. "I mean, isn't that worth more than money?"

Nick looked at Dwyer. Dwyer looked at Nick. When they grinned, and threw their heads back and laughed, Andy wasn't surprised. He could see it coming from a mile away.

"Precious, man, totally precious!" Dwyer exclaimed, as he patted Andy on the head. "Hey, have you told your girlfriend that?"

He didn't bother answering, as he headed out of the room.

"Here's to you, birthday boy! Keep 'em coming!"

He closed the door and headed down the hallway, his roommates' laughter chasing him. He wasn't sure why he was so bothered – selling Buzz, or any of his toys, wouldn't have made a dent in his financial situation – but…

Well, more and more, he was seeing the type of people Nick and Dwyer were. People he didn't want to be. Yet, he reflected, thinking on the ages he'd spent on films, games, and times, perhaps he wasn't as far removed as he hoped.

Nevertheless, he reached the dorm's payphone. It would cost him a pretty penny, but it would still be cheaper than using his mobile. Plus, it gave him a further excuse to separate himself from his roommates. A distance that had been growing over the past two months, and he suspected, they knew it. A year ago, he wouldn't have been accused of smelling of fecal matter no matter the context, but times changed. People changed. And sometimes, you met new people entirely, that as things turned out, were people you'd known all along.

A smile came to his lips as he thought of Hannah. That it was his 21st birthday wasn't a secret, but she was so swamped in her studies, there was no chance of them spending any time together for the rest of the week. A situation he found himself in likewise, as numerous assignments neared their deadline. Under normal circumstances, he'd have stayed in the library until closing time, but hey, promises were promises. He might have moved out, and hit the big two-one, but there were some things that never changed.

Inside the dorm's lobby, he looked around, finding it abandoned of students and staff alike. Sighing, he reached the payphone, scanned his student card (for the discount), swiped his credit card (because there was still no such thing as a free lunch) and dialled the number. Waited a good ten seconds before there was an answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, mum."

"Andy!"

Among the things that never changed, he reflected, was someone's inability to ever fully leave their home, or escape their mother's grasp.

"Oh my goodness, you've grown."

"Mum, we're talking over the phone. How can you tell if I've grown?"

"Oh Andy, a mother knows these things. Besides, your voice has changed."

"It has?"

"Well, changed enough. And besides, semantics. How are you?!"

He looked around the empty lobby. "Fine," he murmured.

"You don't sound fine."

"Mum, I'm fine, seriously," he snapped.
"Alright, alright." There was a pause, however brief, before his mum started talking again. "So. Big two-one."

"Yep. Big two-one…"

"Oh Andy, I wish I could be there, but I'm drowning in work here. Mister Stanmore wants the Alderton report done by Friday, can you believe it? And that's not even touching on the Wentworth case."

"Know what you mean, mum. Work's pretty dense here too."

"But you're keeping up, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, mum."

"Studying every night?"

"More like working, but, sure."

"Not wasting your time with needless distractions?"

He thought of Nick and Dwyer with their Ebay toys. He thought of Hannah, and the Lamplight Tree. He, after some consideration, murmured, "no distractions at all, mum."

"Right…"

A silence lingered between them. Maybe she knew he was lying, maybe not. Mothers had a nose for this sort of thing (or so she'd told him more than once), and that included the phone.

"So how's Molly?" Andy asked.

His mother scoffed. "Off with her friends again. I told her I wanted her home to talk to you, but it seems she has better things to do."

"Well, she's sixteen, mum. She has better things to do then waste time with her brother."

"Waste time? That's all your sister does these days! I told her, just once, she could come home, and help celebrate her big brother's twenty-first birthday, but no, it seems she can't even manage that."

Andy forced a laugh. "We're only kids once, mum. Let her live a little."

"And she can. After she's grounded for the rest of the week."

"Isn't that a bit harsh?"

"Trust me, Andy, Molly not having the courtesy to wish you a happy birthday is the tip of the iceberg."

"If you say so."

He glanced around the lobby, shivering, as a security guard opened the door, letting in the night air. Despite being the middle of summer, there was a chill on the wind, and one that didn't do his mind any more favours than his body. Because on one hand, he'd been a teenager once as well, and teenagers had better things to do than talk over the phone. On the other…well, not that he'd have admitted it, but he'd have liked to talk to Molly. Even if it was only her gloating about having the house to herself.

"Anyway," his mother said. "You're coming home for Thanksgiving, right?"

He shrugged. "Maybe?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said maybe, mum."

"Andy, we talked about this last year."

"We did. And that was before I got a pile of assignments dumped on me."

"Andy…"

"Look, do you want me to graduate or not?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line, before his mother spoke. "Alright," she whispered. "Alright. But you either turn up for Thanksgiving or Christmas, or I'm going to…to…"

"Mum?"

"Oh, something. I'll do something."

"Right. You do something, I do something, we all do something, and something happens."

"…Andy?"

He was tempted to hang up then and there. Because he knew what was coming.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

And lo and behold, his intuition was still 20/20. "I'm fine," he murmured.

"Andrew Davis, you may be in another state, but don't think you can lie to me."

"No, really, I'm fine."

"Right. And I'm the president."

He laughed, thinking of his mother in the White House. About what she'd do about the jobs market. Wondered if she even could.

"Come on, Andy. You may be twenty-one, but you'll always be my special little guy."

Andy rolled his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me Andy. If there's something wrong, you can talk to me."

How did you know I rolled… He shook his head. "It's nothing."

"Is it the work? How are you for cash? It's not drugs, is it? Oh God, tell me it's not drugs."

"What? God no."

"Andy, if you're in trouble, I-"

"Mum, it's nothing, it's just…it's just that lately I've been thinking about dad."

There was a silence on the other end of the line. One that didn't last for a minute, but sure felt like it. Long enough to give Andy time to reflect about what he'd said, and whether he'd have been better off lying, or giving the whole truth.

"Mum?"

Because it was one thing to talk about his father. Another to talk about Hannah.

"Mum, are you there?"

But to talk about both at the same time?

"I'm here," his mother whispered.

Sometimes, it was better to space out your battles.

"Why your father?"

"It's just…" He took a breath. "I dunno. Guess I'm a man now, and, well…sometimes, I'm worried I'm going to end up just like him."

"Andy, listen to me," his mother said firmly. "You are not your father, okay?"

"You don't know that."

"No, I do. And you know why?"

He sighed.

"Because you're my son, and I spent eighteen years raising you. Because I saw the kind of person you were, and who you grew up to be."

"You did, mum. And I appreciate it. Really. But…"

"But it's your twenty-first, and you wish he was here?"

There was a silence on both ends of the line.

"Andy?" his mum whispered.

"I guess I kind of think that" Andy murmured. "But I…" He took the plunge. "Mum, what if I told you I met someone?"

There was no answer.

"Like, of course I'm meeting people, but there's a girl, and she clearly likes me, and I'm pretty sure I like her, and-"

"You're using protection, right?"

"What? God, no."

"You're not using protection?!"
"Yes. I mean, no. I mean, God's sake mum, we're nowhere near that point."

"Oh, thank goodness. The stuff I see Molly reading these days though – vampires, werewolves, or something like that. I…no, sorry. This is about you." His mum chuckled. "What's she like?"

Andy uttered the first word that came to his head. "Mousy."

"Mousy?"

"Um, I mean…look, she's shy, but she's kind, and…I dunno, bit socially awkward, but we've been spending time, and when I'm with her, I just feel…weird, y'know?"

"Trust me Andy, I know." His mother laughed. "My big boy. Growing up, finding first love…I wondered why it didn't happen in your teens, but hey, some of us are late bloomers."

"It's just…I've been thinking about dad, y'know? What he did? Why he did it?"

His mother fell silent.

"And if it doesn't work out, I'm worried that…mum, what if I'm like him?"

"Andy."

"It's just, I didn't get it at the time, but when I think of you, and Molly, and-"

"Andy, you are not your father."

He sighed, resting his head against the phone, closing his eyes. Murmured, "how do you know?"

"Because you're asking me. And a man like him…he wouldn't worry about hurting anyone around him."

"He loved us once, mum. Give him that, at least."

His mother sighed. "Andy, you like this girl, right?"

"…yes?"

"And if things don't work out, you wouldn't want to hurt her."

"Of course not."

"Then there you are," his mum said. "You're not your father. You…oh son of a-!"

"Mum?"

"Molly, you stay right there young lady!"

"Mum, are you there?"

"Don't talk back to me Molly you're in big trouble!"

"Mum, should I go?"

"Molly, get down here this instant!"

There was a slam on the other end of the line, followed by muffled yelling. Andy took the phone away from his ear. Stared at it, before putting it back on the hook.

Email later, he told himself.

He stood in the lobby in silence. Outside, a rumble, and a flash of lightning, as a storm announced its presence. A herald of the rain that came a moment later, sliding down the glass doors that led into the world beyond.

No-one was out there. No-one was inside the lobby either. He just stood there, alone. Watching the rain. Thinking of things said and unsaid alike.

"Happy birthday to me," he murmured.

Thinking about many things more.

Like his mother. His sister. Even his father.

The lightning flashed.

Thinking of Hannah.

Wondering if she was thinking about the past like he was.

If she too, was looking at the rain.