Will doesn't call Dustin back about Christmas break until the second to last day of school in December.

It's not that taking a few days to decide was so shitty of Will or anything. Dustin did invite him with only a few days' notice, mostly because he was sure that Will was going to say no, and he didn't want to face the—rejection, Dustin guesses is what he's afraid of. Dustin accepts that Will doesn't want to be around Mike, even if he doesn't understand it, and he knows it's a long shot, asking Will to come stay with Dustin when Mike will be around. He knows Will didn't ask to move away and has faithfully picked up the phone to talk to Dustin every Monday night since leaving Hawkins, but Dustin just—

He thinks there's a lot under the surface that Will's been hiding from him. He thinks Will has a lot to hide, and it sucks that he holds Dustin at arm's length and doesn't trust him enough to share what it is, that's all. So he avoided inviting Will over for break—avoided giving Will the opportunity to prove again that he won't let Dustin all the way in.

But it takes Will a few days to give him a straight answer—enough days, in fact, that by the time he calls back, Dustin has convinced himself that Will's not going to call to give him an answer at all. It would be just like this person Will has become to blow Dustin off entirely, and before the phone rings, Dustin has already added it to the list of offenses Will has committed since leaving Hawkins.

Dustin's not trying to be shitty. Will was in the hospital, for god's sake, and had to start taking antidepressants: there's obviously something going on with him that provides a perfectly good explanation for why he's been so distant. Maybe he's afraid Dustin will judge him for whatever it is, or maybe he's just too embarrassed or traumatized to talk about it—Dustin might never find out for sure. He tries to remember that Will's got valid reasons, even if Dustin doesn't know what they are—but it's hard. It's hard to manage when Dustin has been trying so hard for the last three years to keep his connection to Will alive—when it feels like Will has been fighting him on this at every turn.

So when Will finally calls over to the Hendersons' house, Dustin isn't surprised to hear vague annoyance seeping into his voice when he takes the phone from Mom. "I was starting to think I just wasn't going to hear from you about my invitation," he says sullenly into the phone.

Will's response is so quiet that Dustin has to focus hard to make it out. "Sorry. I needed to talk it over with my therapist before I could give you an answer."

"You have a therapist?" asks Dustin before he can help himself. An instant later, he's pissed at himself for it: if Will is so messed up nowadays that he has to go to therapy, the last thing he probably needs is for Dustin to treat it like a juicy piece of gossip.

"Yeah," says Will, sounding guarded. "I started seeing her over the summer after—after everything that happened. I… needed some help."

Dustin still doesn't know the details of exactly what happened over the summer. He knows Will went off his antidepressants when he, Jonathan, and Mike road tripped to Nevada to rescue El after her kidnapping, but all anybody—Will, Mike, even Jonathan—will tell Dustin is that it messed Will up pretty badly. That much Dustin could have figured out all on his own, what with the way Will kept getting lost in his thoughts and flinching every time Mike spoke during the couple of days he spent in Hawkins afterward. But Dustin doesn't know what happened. He doesn't think anyone's ever going to tell him what happened.

But if Dustin pushes Will on this now, he might just drive Will further away, so Dustin swallows his frustration and says instead, "Wait, wait, wait. I thought you swore off therapy after all the shit Dr. Owens pulled on you in middle school."

"I did, but Dr. Owens isn't the one I'm seeing."

Dustin has had enough with the noncommittal responses, but what else is new? "Then how can you get any real help? It's not like you can tell an outsider about the Upside Down."

Will takes a deep breath—Dustin can hear it through the phone. "I think she thinks the Upside Down is a coping mechanism or something I invented, but she goes along with it. Besides, we don't usually talk much about the Upside Down."

"Right. Then what do you talk about?"

"Honestly? We talk about strategies for coping with being mentally ill, and—and we talk about Mike."

This catches Dustin off guard. If he's not mistaken—if he's not dreaming or something—Will just willingly broached the twin subjects of mental illness and Mike all on his own. In the second it takes him to respond, it occurs to him that maybe—

He doesn't want to get his hopes up. Dustin gave up a long time ago believing that Will would ever confide in him about anything again. But—his hopes are up. They're up so high.

"Mental illness?" echoes Dustin uncertainly.

"Yeah. I got diagnosed a couple years ago, you know, when I was kind of… catatonic for that one week. I mean, you already know I'm on antidepressants."

"And this is related to Mike somehow?" Dustin can't help but ask.

"Yeah. It's complicated, but… I have something called borderline personality disorder, and Mike is one of my triggers."

Sure, Dustin's heard the word borderline before, but he doesn't know what it means, and he definitely doesn't know what it has to do with Mike. "I thought depression was what you had."

"It was. I mean, it is. I have both. My therapist says I probably have PTSD, too."

"Jesus, Will, rack up all the buzzwords, why don't you?" says Dustin humorlessly. He's so pissed at himself for the way he's reacting, now that Will is finally on the verge of sharing something about the hidden pieces of his life with Dustin, but he just—feels like he doesn't know Will at all anymore, not the parts of Will that really count. "So what does it mean to be borderline, anyway?"

Will hesitates. "It means I kind of… forget who I am, lose myself in other people—specifically, Mike."

"But you've barely spoken in the last three years. I mean…"

"Just because I was gone doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about him," says Will very slowly and softly. "I, uh… I had feelings for him. For Mike."

Dustin meets this declaration with a moment of ringing silence. All he can think to say is shit—who is this person? Where did Will go these last few years? Finally, he says, "Feelings for him? Do you mean, like…?"

"Yeah," says Will shortly. "Dustin, I… I'm gay."

And Dustin's shocked, but he's also thinking, well, is this really such a surprise? Bullies have been calling Will a faggot since elementary school, and Will's always been more sensitive than your typical heterosexual boy. In retrospect, it even makes sense that Will would be avoiding Mike if Mike doesn't reciprocate his feelings—might even have rejected Will.

This is all Dustin has wanted from Will for years—for him to let Dustin in. Now that Will's finally doing it, Dustin feels like an ass.

To Dustin's credit, his voice sounds close to normal again when he says, "Just—back up for a second. Back up. You're gay, and you have a crush on Mike, and somehow this makes your depression worse?"

"Yeah."

Dustin's voice cracks as he adds, "And you've been carrying this around all alone?"

"I'm sorry I didn't—"

"God, Will, don't be sorry. I just—you shouldn't have had to, that's all."

"I wasn't all alone. Jonathan and El know parts of it. My therapist knows it."

"I just—Jesus, Will."

Will adds awkwardly, "So I can't come for Christmas if Mike is going to be there. I need to work on my shit with him before I can… be around him. But I was wondering—can you give me his number? My therapist thinks it would be a good idea for me to sort of… build up my tolerance for being around him. I'm supposed to start slow. Talk on the phone for ten minutes this week."

Okay, this much Dustin is definitely not following. For all these years, Will has been dodging Mike as if he's going to completely fall apart if he has to be around him. Dustin can accept that, and he can accept that Will doesn't want to come for Christmas if Mike is going to be there. But now he's saying he wants Dustin to give him Mike's number? He won't come see Dustin just because of Mike, but he'll talk to Mike alone?

"So you're telling me you can't be around him, but you're also telling me you want to call him on the phone for a chat?"

"Dustin—"

"I just—I don't get it, but okay. Whatever."

"Look, I'm really sorry I'm not coming," says Will emphatically. "I really am. You've tried really hard to be a good friend to me since I left Hawkins—better than I deserved—and I don't want to throw that back in your face."

"Will, it's not about…" Dustin gives an aggravated sigh. "It's not that you don't deserve to have friends who are there for you, and I don't want to make you feel like shit for not telling me things if you were uncomfortable sharing them, and I don't want to make it all about me. It's not about me. It's about you. But—Will, I've got you. I don't care how gay you are; I'm still going to want just as much to be there for you. I've wanted that all this time, and you've been shutting me out every time I've tried."

Will pauses. "I'm trying, okay? Can you just—let me tell you things at my own pace? I'll tell you, I swear I will, but you have to give me some… some time."

Dustin can hear the desperation in Will's voice, and he feels like an ass. He feels like an ass. "Yeah," he finally says. "Better late than never. Are you going to tell Lucas?"

"I should, right? I know I should. I just… it's hard to hear people's… initial reactions."

"What about Mike? I'm not going to tell him anything you tell me in confidence, but are you okay with him knowing that I know?"

Will hesitates. "I guess. You're his friend, too, and he might… I guess I never really considered that Mike could use someone to lean on about—what happened between us. It's making me feel bad to think that he's been going through it alone all this time."

There it is again—the implication that some major drama went down between Will and Mike that Dustin doesn't know about. Difference is, Dustin's finally starting to believe that, in time, Will might let him in. He's trying, isn't he? Finally, Will is really trying.

In the meantime—

"I hope I never made you feel like I have a problem with gay people," says Dustin. "I know I've probably made some thoughtless comments in the past, and I'll watch my mouth from now on. I promise I don't think there's anything wrong with you being into boys."

"Thanks," says Will quietly. "That means a lot to me."

Dustin smiles. Maybe there's a future for him and Will after all.