Dragon Ball Z: The Catalyst
Act II:
Chapter 20: Lives Lived
Darkness... he was swimming in darkness. The idea of breathing somehow escaped him, he was suffocating and he couldn't find way. Angry arms lashed out, reaching for anything, grabbing desperately towards the surface of this place. Where ever that surface was. Up was down, down was up, nothing made sense as the figure helplessly tumbled through the darkness.
Then there was light.
Raditz felt the world around him go white-hot, it blinded his eyes even as he looked over the endless expanse of nothingness.
Just what the hell was going on?
"Hello Saiyan," A deep voice said.
The origin of the voice was unseen.
"Where are you?! Where am I?" he demanded.
The situation was tense. Raditz had no idea where he was, or what was going on. For a moment he'd have sworn he was on the Planet Namek. That however was impossible given the truly strange surroundings he found himself in.
Turning his head again seemingly out of nowhere, appeared stood a huge saiyan. His bulging oversized muscles were his most prominent feature. A thick heavy jaw and two black eyes further cemented who this was in Raditz's eyes. The heavy build saiyan walked over in his black and brown armour, standing next to Raditz. He wore the same stupid spikey pony tail he always did as well.
Jagoto?
But he was dead, he'd been on the home planet when it was destroyed. The huge man had been the one who'd taught him how to fight on the Home Planet once he returned from assignment. He'd been his best friend, his mentor, the one who took him on his second purge mission, his true right of passage. He was almost the father who wasn't there.
"J-Jagoto?" he managed to ask, his eyes in disbelief as to who he was looking at.
"I chose this form as it is familiar to you, no, I am not Jagoto."
A grim snarl escaped Raditz's lips when he was informed of the apparent deception. Thrusting an arm out to grab the imposter, he found it passed through him without any contact. Pulling his arm back and looking at it, before looking back up at the image of his dead friend, Raditz truly had to ask.
"Am I dead? Am I being judged?"
"One of those two things is true. You are alive, Raditz."
If he was alive, where was he? How did he get here, and where was here?
"Who are you? Where am I?"
The words came almost as a demand, he hated the idea of being completely trapped in a blank nothingness, a void. What kind of foul power could have sent him here?
"I am Guru, the Eldest Namek. This is the inner consciousness of your mind. It is where we can find out the truth of things, and see into the past, both of your live and the lives of those linked to you, and the present. From here, we can search not just through memories, but evens of the past."
Look into the past? And he'd mentioned he was alive before, which meant by default he'd answered his other question. He was being judged?! This rotten slug was going to pay for daring to judge him! A saiyan warrior!
Anger boiled through his veins, barring his teeth he raised a closed fist, scowling at his arbiter. No one had the right to judge him, not this hidden green fool, or Kakarot. What was he to judged over? Supposed moral misgivings from close minded weaklings?! How dare-
"Whether you enjoy it or not, you will be shown how you have lived. You will be shown your past, the past of your brothers, your father, and those close to you."
Why his brothers? Why his father? His path was his own.
"Because to know where you came from and where you can go, you need to see their lives as well. And in some cases how you contributed to their suffering."
"And to what end? So what? If they have hurt feelings that's their-"
The world filled with colour in a heartbeat, resembling a vaguely familiar place, or at least the air was familiar...
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Where was he now?
"On a world with a lonely, angry child."
Turning his head sharply, Raditz saw "Guru" floating next to him.
The two hovered in the air well above, the skies were purple and the ground was almost black. Blue and red foliage marked this world.
This place was familiar.
"Why did you bring me here?" Raditz demanded, remembering all too well.
This was Planet Siren, this was where he was sent as a child. This was the day that the last sentient being died.
He'd been ranked as a third class warrior at birth, though he'd been shipped off under the wrong title as "Elite". Siren's Power Levels were really designed for 1st class warriors. Were it not for the transformation at the sight of Siren's rather huge moon, he would have surely died.
The night before had been his last rampage as the Great Ape. The last city on the planet had been expunged from the face of this valuable world. Siren had been called the obsidian orb by its purchasers, who intended to mine its rich minerals from it.
For ten years the almost 11 year old boy had not a companion in the world, but that was what was expected of a saiyan child. They all were raised this way, but typically not this long unless stranded. A higher level child would have finished Siren in 5 years.
The boy stood there, having taken the armour from his pod several years ago. His long hair was poorly kept, he looked absolutely filthy as well. Before him was the last Sirenian. They were a strange people, saiyanoids but without any sexual characteristics, completely hairless and lanky. Their strange blue-grey skin.
This creature shakily sat before Raditz. There had been 200,000,000 Sirenians when he first arrived on the world, there was now 1.
Time froze in that moment.
The full grown Raditz, the one whose memories this was, descended to the ground. He always hated the way the air smelled on this world, it was almost like smoke. This was the place of his childhood however. What point was there to bring him here?
"Looking at this poor creature, do you feel anything at all? The last of an entire sentient species."
"Are you trying to moralize to me, Namek?" Raditz responded. "This is what I was born for. I live it."
"This is what your race, indeed, even died for."
Raditz stopped, turning his head and narrowing his eyes on the old man. There he was, taking on the form of a saiyan, telling him that they'd died because of their strength? How ridiculous.
"But it is. Your people's violence lead them to align themselves with the monster Frieza. Their ambitious and violent nature inevitable lead to challenges to Frieza, which in the end lead to him destroying your entire race. Even if you had not sworn yourselves to the service of that beast, you would have found a way to destroy yourselves. You even destroyed yourselves while you served him."
Lashing out, Raditz tried to swipe at the body, his hand passing clear through.
"I'll kill you for that old man!" he spat angrily.
"How ironic. You will kill me for saying that violence lead to your own destruction. I wonder who is the bigger fool?"
With those words, the world of Siren was set back into motion, just as Raditz's younger self blasted away the very last Sirenian.
Slowly he turned his head, looking at his younger self, who put on a smug, self satisfied smile.
"Finally! I will be able to return home!" the boy shouted with relief. "I wonder what it's like?" he wondered idly.
Raditz looked down, remembering that all too well.
"What were your rewards for killing this entire race? Surely it must have been handsome."
If he was asking, then he already knew. Scowling Raditz turned towards him, throwing his hand out in a gesture towards his younger self.
"I know what you are implying! That I got nothing for all this hard work, and you are right! I was brought home and heralded a failure-"
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"Father?"
"Wow kid, 10 years?" Bardock asked, looking to his side absently. "I know that planet was probably pretty high class, but weren't you supposed to be Elite? I pulled a lot of strings to make that power level of 12 look like 15."
Bardock had wanted so much for his first born son to get past being labelled a third class warrior that he'd paid real money to cheat the test, as many parents did. Sometimes a few small numbers could be moved around, and suddenly someone wasn't a third class with a power level of 14 at birth, but a 15, enough to qualify as an 'elite'. It cost him nearly 2 planet's wages to do that, and big things were expected.
The disappointment was clear in Bardock's voice. His son should have finished the planet off in five years tops, but it'd taken nearly 10. He'd given up on Raditz by the time five years had rolled on and still no word from Siren, he even thought he was dead until he showed up. He'd been on mission at the time however. To be honest, even if he hadn't he didn't really want to greet the boy. It would be like staring failure in the face. This meeting was completely incidental.
It was his second time back to his home planet. Raditz had easily spent more time aboard than at home, as almost every saiyan did now. There was a constant state of war the planet was in, capturing and crushing planets for Lord Frieza.
The boy looked down. This had been his first encounter with his father, the first one he could remember in his entire life that he could remember.
"Look kid, I've got a lot on my plate right now, and I don't need some-" he clicked his scouter. "Little runt with a power level of 400 bugging me right now. I've got a bunch of missions and they keep bugging me to fill out paperwork for your brothers."
"Brothers?!"
"Kakarot, or Karot or something and... what's his name... It starts with a T."
There was a stare of complete disbelief from the 12 year old boy as the two of them stood inside the pod reception area. He didn't even remember their names?
"Father. I haven't seen you my whole life, I just-"
Bardock finally looked over to Raditz frankly.
"Kid, I've got some news for you. I don't really want to do the whole dad thing, okay?"
It was the sound of a man who'd been burned once too often. Even when the words were spoken Bardock just looked tired.
The older Raditz stood next to "Guru" watching the sad encounter unfold. A painful memory burrowed in his mind. The short comings of his father wasn't the short comings of their entire race, it wasn't a problem with the society. If anything now, he realized he'd failed in his mission, he'd taken too long.
There was a sense of wonder for Raditz. This wasn't atypical for saiyan children born into the military system, as almost all were. The eldest sons were often looked after as infants, but the separation at such a young age was devastating for the parents.
"Your father loved you a great deal when you were younger. Before they sent you away. You were his first son. He even refused several assignments to make sure he was there for your birth."
There was no answer to that as Raditz quietly stared at the scene. He felt angry being reminded of it. But it was something every saiyan, except the nobles went through. Closing his fists at the thought, Raditz remembered what a scandal it had been for Prince Vegeta to be sent off with Frieza. Well how was that any different from the rest of them?
"You destroyed the Sirenians to no gain. All it did was feed your violent nature. You were not rewarded for it emotionally, monetarily, and yet you still feel no regrets?"
"I am a saiyan warrior." Raditz finally responded, turning his head angrily to Guru. "We do not have regrets!"
The large saiyan image of Jaroto pointed his finger towards the little boy and his father.
"Raddish," Bardock started, sighing after he spoke.
Raditz, both young and old winced. He didn't even remember his name.
"I'm not going to lie to you. Don't get involved with a woman, don't have kids. They just get taken away from you. I don't know you, you aren't really mine. I'm responsible for you for another 5 years if you fuck up like you did on Siren though. So no more screw ups, okay?"
"Father I just-"
There was finally a collision, Bardock striking Raditz across the face with his palm hard enough for the boy to hit the ground face first with a violent thump. Bardock had no time for excuses from his estranged son.
There wasn't another word, only the sound of Bardock's boots heading towards the exit. Something Raditz never noticed before until this moment however, was the sad frown on the man's face. His eyebrows shifted back as well. The man who'd just struck down his son looked... sad. By the time he reached the door however, it'd disappeared back to a face of indifference.
Stopping when the door opened for him, Bardock took one last brief look back at his first son. It was clear that Bardock heard the pained sob from the 12 year old. For a second he looked almost as if he'd walk back. One could even see that he wanted to. His face didn't change at all, but his eyes did. It was as if Bardock was stuck in that moment. There was a conflict going on inside him as he watched his son struggle to find something to grab onto to bring himself up. Even he could see how pathetic the boy's figure looked. However, despite all of it, Bardock turned his head slowly and walked out of the room, never looking back.
This was the last time he'd ever see his first son.
As soon as the door shut a pained cry escaped the lungs of the rejected child. Thankfully he'd been all alone in the hangar at the time, his arrival home was late.
"They had regrets."
Having watched the dismal scene, feeling old scars he'd long since forgotten itch in the back of his mind, Raditz was less than pleased with Guru at the moment. He watched the boy struggle to get up. Bardock had fractured his cheek with that hit, but he didn't know it until the next day with the pain in his face not going away. Struggling, trying to hold back tears several times, coughing a few times as several small sobs escaped, the boy Raditz steadied himself. His eyes, still brimming with hot tears, angrily looked at the door his father had just left from.
"And there is your anger. The same anger you used to kill yet millions and millions more, isn't it Raditz?"
Turning away angrily from Guru, not looking at him, he closed his fists. Finally he felt ready to confront Guru, turning back violently.
"Oh, and is that what this is all about?" he snapped at the old man. "To make me feel sorry for myself? To make me think I didn't kill those people, my upbringing did? To somehow blame the saiyan race for being strong enough to be harsh with their children? How pathetic! How dare you pry into my mind!? This isn't any of your concern! I'll kill you for this I swea-"
Guru pointed up again, this time at the older Raditz.
"What? What is it?"
The man rubbed an area under his own eye briefly.
It was then Raditz realized what he was implying. Moving his forearm past his eyes and face, he rubbed the tears he hadn't even known he'd shed away.
"I believe you perfectly responsible for all the horrible acts you have done, saiyan. I find you pitiable, but that is not why we are here. We are here because you must look at where you have been, and find where you are going."
"You have no right to do this to me," Raditz shot back.
"When we complete this, I think will you understand, one way or another."
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"Who're you?"
Raditz blinked, looking about, looking for who was asking him such a question. This planet was vaguely familiar, burnt and destroyed city was the landscape all around them. The red sky meant this could be one of a dozen worlds. But the truth was most of this rubble looked far too old to be made by him.
"You did not destroy this place."
Turning not to look at Guru, but to see the two figures in saiyan battle armour standing across from one another, Raditz stopped. Ah, another depressing part of his life so far.
"Why must we always visit the depressing parts of my life? I had a lot of great times," Raditz argued, looking at Guru.
Standing across from Raditz was Turles, the one who'd asked him the question. The Teenage Crusher had a grin plastered across his face. It was a nefarious grin, like the ones Raditz often wore. He looked as though he was almost looking for a fight until he realized Raditz wore a scouter and armour as he did.
"My name is Raditz, I'm your older brother. I've come to bring you back into the fold."
The devilish smile on his younger brother's face didn't disappear.
"Good, I can't wait to get started. This is what I was built for."
This was the moment he'd met his young brother, he looked exactly like their father. It was uncanny. They were both warriors, both raised on unforgiving worlds, both void of connections as they grew up as any saiyan should. Both were even off world for too long. They held much more in common than he ever cared to admit.
But of course, unwittingly, Raditz had signed his own brother's death sentence the moment they met.
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Raditz recognized the interior of base Frieza 13 before as if it was the back of his hand. He'd had several assignments go through here when he wasn't working directly with Vegeta and Nappa. But this particular day was all too familiar.
His other self threw the data pad against the wall, wall that he'd been reading.
By collecting his brother, all he'd done was get him killed. The pad was just a killed in action report for the assignment he'd been given. Raditz recognized it all too well, were he not in Vegeta's unit he'd have been given something very, very similar. It had been a meat shield job, and you took your assignments whether you liked them or not.
The door slid open, Vegeta walking in.
"Well, where is this brother of yours?" The Prince demanded.
Looking very quiet Raditz remembered this all too well. Today was supposed to be the day that Turles got back, instead all that got back was the KIA report. Repeatedly he'd promised Vegeta for months that there would be a fourth member of their race, ready to act together. Now?
"You still feel guilt for bringing your brother into the fold. That was what prevented you from collecting Kakarot until you had to, wasn't it?"
"I had other things to do," the observing Raditz responded, largely with honesty.
His prior self however, looked at the Prince quietly.
"Zarbon gave him an assignment with a bunch of Elites. He's dead."
Vegeta scoffed, turning towards the door.
"If that's the case we didn't need him anyway, he'd just end up being another weakling like you."
The world froze again as Guru turned towards Raditz, the real Raditz.
"Vegeta was right, he was a weakling. And so was I."
There was an emptiness in this moment, a void in his chest. That had been his brother, he'd barely gotten to know him before he was just gone. At first he asked himself what his father would have thought of letting Turles die. Then he remembered that his father couldn't even remember Turles's name, or his.
"I'll still kill Vegeta, whether he's right or not. But I won't kill him for judging Turles as a weakling, or me."
They were just footnotes to be forgotten.
"Is all you know how to do is kill?"
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"You wanted your cursed good times, have them."
Cities all burned around them, planet Zekan was seemingly a living fireball. Warriors of the government of lizard-like people lay dead in heaps, their bodies catching fire as their civilization burned all around them.
Raditz floated there, an arrogant smile across his face, casting his hands in different directions, throwing energy blasts into the burning ruins, cackling as he saw the fire burn even brighter.
"Yes, this was a real battle." Raditz grinned.
Behind him, Nappa scoffed.
"This planet was pathetic, there was barely any challenges here. Well, except for maybe Raditz. Hey Raditz, I hope the children on this planet didn't give you too hard a time!?" Nappa's joke was at his expense, as usual.
The now definitively third class warrior snarled at Nappa. There was nothing he could do about it, he was significantly weaker than his counterpart, and the last time he'd challenged Nappa openly, he'd gotten his left leg broken.
"So, when we get back to headquarters Vegeta, I get most of the credit right?"
"Whatever you want Nappa," Vegeta responded with a passive disinterest.
"But, I did most of the fighting!" Raditz said. "Why does Nappa get to take all the credit?"
Nappa appeared in front of Raditz, scowling down at the relatively cowardly saiyan with angry features.
"Because I'm stronger than you, and Vegeta doesn't want to take the credit so I will! You dirty third class runt!"
"Are these your happier moments?"
Raditz sneered at the remark, looking down at the holocaust from above with Ginyu.
"You did this on purpose! You-"
"You said that this was a battle. This was a slaughter, you were never in real danger. All you and your comrades did was annihilate these people. For you this was not a battle at all. This is the battle of a murderer and a coward."
It was getting to be too much, Raditz sneered at Guru with closed fists, narrowed eyes and angry intention.
"I'm done with you! When I get out of these I'll-"
"We aren't done yet."
This time Raditz fell down, landing on his backside with a thud. Looking around at his surroundings again he truly wondered where he was this-
Earth.
Standing up, the large saiyan warrior didn't see Guru with him for once. This wasn't a city, it was clearly in the mountains somewhere.
Slowly hovering in the air, he felt something in the distance. Narrowing his eyes he blasted off. Where was this taking him now? What decision was this supposed to give him? What was wrong with that crazy old Namek? Wincing, he felt for a brief moment as if his arm was bleeding. Looking down, it looked completely fine.
The world fizzled for a moment, around him instead being the interior of a Namek building. In that brief second his body felt like it was in agony, broken, battered. In an instant it was gone, the building returned to the blue skies of earth. Black eyes however looked about desperately for a sign of anything else particularly strange.
"Forgive my lateness."
Ugh, he was back.
Raditz didn't even want to look at him right now, instead flying towards the source which he felt. Stopping in mid flight, he saw where the power was coming from, but he just didn't believe it.
It was Kakarot, he was no older than 12 however.
Below, laughter bellowed out of the two mouths below.
To Raditz, the origin of this happiness seemed to be of the simplest thing he'd ever seen. Kakarot and what appeared to be a bald child, perhaps that human Krillin, were sitting across from one another. They were slapping their hands together, counting and doing it again.
"Okay Krillin, on three!" Kakarot laughed. "One. Two. Three!"
Clap, clap, clap, pause, clap!
A confused look came across Raditz's face. This was their idea of fun?
"Now boys," Roshi said, walking out of a nearby hut. "We need to get back to training, is that understood?"
"Yes, Master Roshi!" Krillin said first, jumping to his feet.
"Hey!" Goku immediately said afterwards. "Yes, of course we are Master Roshi!" he chimed in.
What Raditz saw next amounted to the children balancing themselves on pieces of wood, trying not to fall off. What kind of training was that?! His memories of training involved getting the shit kicked out of him by older saiyans.
"Why am I here Guru?" Raditz asked, watching Krillin and Goku laughing again.
By the time Guru answered, he was watching Goku and Krillin cart milk around for Master Roshi, trying not to drop it, but they seemed to be having an over abundance of fun doing it.
"This is the childhood that your brother Kakarot lived through. One with hopes, dreams, aspirations, joy. It is a childhood devoid of being a saiyan."
"It is weak."
"I have touched Krillin's mind, I have seen what Goku, Kakarot, has achieved from his eyes. I have seen what Goku has done through the eyes of the world itself, and it is every bit more fantastic. I have even seen it through your eyes. Would you call him weak? Is he not a warrior? One even superior to yourself?"
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There was a certain jealousy as the worlds shifted, towards his brother. He'd never had to suffer as he suffered, his training was walking on boards and carrying milk? His battles were against hunger, or small monsters on his world? He defended humanity instead of destroying it, when he could have fought millions of them?
Yet he was stronger. He'd lived a life of less pain, less suffering, and even less fighting. He was however stronger than any other saiyan alive today. Worse yet, unlike Vegeta or himself, he was happy. He had a wife that he loved, despite her being a harpy, and a son, a son who was also amazingly powerful.
"He is strong because he has friends, a life, something to protect. He has courage, determination, and an upbringing that brings out the best in him. He is a man who has everything, and received it through his good nature and hard work. That man his whole life has been gentle in spirit."
"In your life Raditz, you are the man who has nothing. And it has all been earned through your heritage, cowardice, anger, hate, and selfishness."
The words rang true. In fact, the things he'd gained had all come since he arrived on Earth. He'd become more powerful, he'd learned new techniques, and strangely enough he'd found... friends, in his brother, nephew, the blue haired woman and Krillin. But he could never admit it.
"What do you want, is it sorry? Is that what you want to hear, that I'm somehow sorry for all the bad things I've done?" Raditz spat angrily. "I'm already doing what I'm supposed to! I'm helping my nephew and brother! What more could you want from-"
He paused, noting his surroundings finally, hovering above the water. It was a river, in a lush forested region. In the middle of the river he immediately noted some kind of boat.
Slowly he made his way towards it, that old Namek wouldn't have brought him here unless-
The two black orbs in his eyes set focus on one person, sitting in the boat. It wasn't very large, he also noted the primitive human weapons hanging off the side. There were perhaps four crew members, but it wasn't that. The one crew member sitting back, her feet up on a table with a map on it in the middle of this boat. A hat covered her head.
How did Guru know about this?
Slowly, he landed on the boat, walking over to the figure and sitting down next to her, though he couldn't touch her or interact with her, it was strangely calming. What a nightmare this had turned into. What choice was he supposed to make?
"And you call me sadistic?" he asked aloud to Guru.
Colonel Violet tipped her hat back, looking towards one of her crew members.
"Hey, pick up the pace, the boss wants this Dragon Ball asap."
For the saiyan next to her, he felt himself smile, feeling the hot sun bathing over him. She looked younger, much younger. This must have been ten years before he met her. He noted a badge as well, "Red Ribbon" on most of their equipment.
"She kills her entire crew eventually."
Raditz couldn't help but only smile more when the Namek stated that.
"I would expect nothing less," Raditz finally managed.
Part of him wished he wouldn't have to leave this boat, as if this event in time were real. Reaching out, he tried to place his hand on her shoulder. For the first time he felt skin, warm real skin. Surprised caused his heartbeat to race, his chest pounding as he realized what he'd just done. Slowly Violet tipped her hat up, looking towards him.
"I miss you," barely managed to leave his lips, before he did his best to not give an exhausted smile. This wasn't real, it was all a construct of the Namek's mind.
There was a disinterested noise in response.
Violet's stared back into his eyes. It felt real to him, real enough anyway. All the blathering the Namek had done didn't seem important anymore. The painful memories of his only memories of 'home' became lesser to him.
"What made this one special?"
Asexual Nameks would never understand. How could they?
"Her strength," he finally said. "Her ruthlessness, her cunning, determination and her drive to live."
"So you fell in love with someone as damaged as your race?"
In this moment, even Guru saying damaged couldn't fully draw his anger.
Before he could answer however, reality began to check in for him. This wasn't real, it was just a construct in his mind, made by the Namek. He was never on this boat with her. Her never touched her shoulder and told her how much he missed her. Pulling his hand from the shoulder he looked down.
The boat felt like a tomb suddenly, with the corpse staring at him instead.
"She wasn't damaged."
"She was as cold and ruthless as you. Her own life was filled with strife, her own background filled with ambitious people and unfair obligations, of a family which never was. I wonder if your affection comes from the idea that you thought she could understand your own anger and violence."
"It doesn't matter," Raditz just said. "There is nothing I can do."
The world melted away, water turned to stone. The boat became the edge of a mountain. No longer siting, Raditz was standing in front of Vegeta and Nappa, both of them smirking down at him.
No, no not again.
"Kill the woman,"
Raditz immediately pointed his hand up at Vegeta, attempting to fire, only nothing happened, no energy was drawn.
As soon as he did however, there was the explosion behind him, just as there had been before. The explosion that had buried Violet alive, the explosion that painfully took her life. He turned about sharply as he had before.
Pain exploded in his own chest, even knowing it not to be real, he frantically rushed towards the rubble pile, digging immediately, grabbing stones and throwing them out of the way. Maybe if he was just faster this time, maybe it would be different. It had to be different this time.
"Raditz."
The saiyan turned to Guru, this time being the real form of the giant old namekian, his chest heaving, he felt and looked distraught. He couldn't think straight, he was too desperate to change this. If somehow he could get her free from the rocks faster, it'd be different this time.
"You are here because you have done this to millions."
What? He'd done what to millions? He didn't understand what he meant.
Slowly the old Namek walked towards him, sitting before him in front of the pile of ruined rubble.
"You have put millions through this suffering. Desperately digging in ruins, mountains, in pillars of fire, to try and save someone they cared about. In the last week, I have felt over 100 of my children die to monsters like you."
An inability to meet Guru's face told Raditz himself even what he felt. For the first time, his hands worn and tired as they dug into the rock in front of him, he felt what could best be described as... shame.
So... this was the Namek's idea of justice. That he'd been forced to live through what he put so many through. It was meant to be irony. Only the Namekian was right. He'd thrown away everything for this woman after she died, just as millions of his victims charged him helplessly after he stole the lives of their loved ones.
"I know you intend to use the Dragon Balls for yourself. Even though you've thought of letting Gohan obtain his wish, and even promised him, the lure of Eternal Life still draws you in."
"I need to defeat Frieza, and Vegeta. After they are dead-"
"You will begin anew what you've always done. You'll destroy the weak, angry at them for your own pain. You'll fight across the universe, destroying peaceful lives? If Gohan and his friends make their wishes, there is a chance, no matter how small, that this will be reversed."
The huge Namek's hand pointed towards the rubble, the rubble which contained Violet. The rubble which Raditz only moments ago had been desperately digging through. If he had eternal life, would this ever go away for him? Would his failures ever stop haunting him? Would it somehow make it as thought his never happened?
"You can choose the life you want Raditz. You can choose to be the hero even you are beginning to see your brother as, or you can choose the monster you have been. Hatred will destroy you, it will ruin all the friendships you have forged, it will take the lives of the few you do care about, as it took the life of this human. Even hatred of people such as Vegeta and Frieza will bring about this end. It is not something you can cure in a day, perhaps it is not something you can ever cure, but you must strive to cure it."
"When you make your decision, you will awaken. But I will give you one gift, and look at what hatred and anger did to your life before you even knew it."
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"Yasa!" A voice barked. "Get the imager ready, we don't have much time to do this, remember they're taking him in a few hours."
Raditz looked around the room he found himself in, it was filled with incubation chambers filled with saiyan children. Standing next to one of the pods, he saw a younger, energetic Bardock pointing down.
"Bardock, how much did this cost? I thought he was going to get sent to Hare II, not Siren. I thought Siren was meant for an Elite child?"
For the first time in his life, Raditz saw the woman who must have been his mother. Well, for the first time with any memory. It was clear from her attire that she wasn't exactly powerful, a low ranking saiyan by birth, just as his father was. Long saiyan hair adorned her head, long like his. Strangely, she had a softer look about her than he'd ever expected, they had the same sharp jaw, but little else exactly in common. Her armour was even of lower quality, it was clearly a much older model than Bardock's, perhaps Mark II armour.
"I pulled some strings."
"Bardock!"
The proud father just had a goofy smile on his head. "He'll be fine, he was only 3 off from being officially an Elite. You know how much better he'll have it? When he gets back they'll immediately give him a position and salary. Lucky dog, he'll have more than we ever had."
His mother didn't look impressed. Yasa angrily held the scanner for a few seconds.
"What if he gets killed?"
Bardock looked irritated himself now. Why did she have to bring that up? He could get killed on Hare II as well, and if he went to some 3rd level contract, he'd come back and be stuck exactly where they were. When he got back from his tour in five years, he'd be the highest ranked member of the family. Five years? What was he thinking, this was his son, he'd be back in three.
"He'd better not! That bribe cost me two jobs pay."
A second later the saiyan warrior smiled at his mate, popping open the incubator, reaching down and pulling his son into his arms, picking him up.
"Get a shot of us before he goes."
Yasa finally did smile, brushing back some of her long black mane before raising the imaging device.
As soon as the image was taken, baby Raditz began to squirm, before looking at his father and smiling broadly. There was pride in his father's eyes, even happiness.
"Heya kiddo, who wants to go for a pod ride?" he asked, before giving a short laugh.
With that, he pulled the small child in the air with both hands, helping the boy pretend he was flying. The child laughed and giggled happily, his tail flicking wildly behind him with excitement.
Yasa took two more scans while this happening.
"Hey, not too many, Tora will think I've hit my head or something," he warned, but it was far from threatening, before placing Raditz back in his incubator.
"We'll see you in a couple years Raditz. Make me proud my little elite." with his smile still broad, he patted the boy on the head gently, his grin only increasing.
His mother, her long hair trailing behind her, walked over, smiling at her first born son as well, patting him on the head as well.
The small boy laughed excitedly, stretching his arms out for more. She briefly obliged, but stopped when Bardock motioned her over.
"Come on, we've gotta get going or we'll never let them take him," he insisted. "It'll work out, this is all standard stuff. Just remember to have everything ready for when he gets back."
Walking over to where his parents once stood, his mother retreating as well, looking down at the gleefully happy little boy that he once was, Raditz sighed. When the incubation chamber closed, the child seemed to find his way to sleep.
His earlier memories were trying to survive in the Sirenian wilderness. Fighting six armed razorbeasts. Or making tools from the bones of his dead enemies. Scavenging for food and just wanting to finish his job so he could go home. He didn't understand until now what his great drive to go home was. Quietly, he wished these were his earliest true memories.
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The three year mark had passed two years earlier. It'd been disappointing, very disappointing for Bardock when his own prediction went wrong, but it hadn't unsettled him. The squirt was just going to take a bit more time than he thought, but his mission timer was up.
Still, now as Bardock exited his pod, he'd asked for leave, and he knew Yasa had as well. They wanted to be there to welcome home their only child.
It'd been tough after sending off their kid, but they knew full well that it would be like that. They worked through it waiting for him to get back. With the bonus he and his crew got from completing another campaign in record time he was intending to buy his boy a set of Elite Armour, golden pauldrons and everything.
It didn't take long for him to realize as he walked through the facilities on Planet Vegeta, that his son wasn't there yet.
When Yasa arrived, it became only more complicated. Both of them wondering where their boy was? Well, they'd booked two months off to spend with him, he could get there any day, sometimes these things just lagged behind.
A week passed.
Then another.
Finally Yasa convinced him to contact the ship authorities on Raditz's pod status. The space pod hadn't been in use for over 4 years.
It was after this that the fights started.
The observer watching his father and mother couldn't help but notice the venom in Yasa's voice.
It wasn't until they were alone, in their room, that the difficult conversation started.
"Siren will be fine?" she spat back at him bitterly.
"Look, woman." Bardock finally said. "We knew this kind of stuff could happen-"
The main thing Bardock seemed to be trying to do was calm down his mate, and deflect the issue they were now facing. Perhaps he couldn't face the idea that his 'little elite' was dead.
"This kind of stuff? Fuck you Bardock," She finally said. "I didn't tell you to send him to an Elite planet. You wanted him to go. I was perfectly happy for him to be what we are!"
Fury suddenly came over Bardock's features at the comment.
"Well I'm not! I did it for him to have it better than us! Maybe he's just running behind?"
"Maybe. And maybe he's dead Bardock."
Her mate became very, very quiet. Unable to look at her, Bardock got up.
"I think Tora just called earlier saying they needed some more support on Tyco, since there is no point waiting around for Raditz."
Yasa gave her partner a look of revulsion, she didn't even have words for him. The only thoughts other than a growing disappointment in Bardock, was the longing for the son she'd only seen once before he was sent away.
To most saiyans this was normal. Failure was treated as a stain, you don't remember failure. You disassociated yourself from it as much as you could, whether it be a part of your past, or a member of your own family.
It didn't mean however, it was pleasant. For Bardock the only answer to escape emotional turmoil was work. If he did more work, he'd remember less.
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Today was filled with good news.
It was all months in the making of course, much as shit always starts gaining momentum when it rolls down hill, situations always get worse with time.
Black eyes stared down as the two reports he'd been handed as soon as he got out of his pod.
"Hey Bardock?" Tora asked. "You seem glum, what's going on?"
The first report told him simply that his mate was dead, dying after delivering their twins. Apparently the second twin, who the doctors named Turles, had split her open. She died before they could get her to the healing tanks. A death that happened to one in a million. The other kid, the one who came out first, was named Kakarot.
The idea of her laying there, dying outside of battle was something Bardock immediately felt very, very shamed over. His mate had been so weak she couldn't even survive a common medical procedure. No wonder his kid had ended up dying on Siren. This was what it was to be a third class, to be weak and disposable.
She got the children she wanted. The thought was almost spat onto the floor next to him. What was the point? Especially after what happened with the first kid.
The truth was, despite all that had taken place between them, knowing she was gone immediately made him miss her.
They'd fought all the time. Hell, that was half the reason he was never home anymore, the more he wasn't home the more he and Yasa didn't fight. She'd never been happy since the brat hadn't come home in time. The son she always wanted had been cheated from her, supposedly by his actions.
Since the brat died. He corrected in his own mind.
The first report was thrown away, the saiyan warrior staring at the second one in shock. His son had arrived back on Vegeta some days earlier. Staring at the name on the report, a list of failures on time lines and expectations. It then noted that he may have been given a false positive as an elite as a child.
When he learned Yasa had gotten pregnant again, he was less than enthusiastic. She'd wanted kids ever since the oldest 'died'. Now she died having those kids, and that little punk got back with a record full of shitty reports? She died because her son was a weakling. Because their son was a weakling.
"Nah, everything is fine." Bardock responded to Tora, blowing off the concern his friend was showing.
"Hey, when was that kid of yours supposed to be born anyway?"
"Dunno, I guess earlier or something."
"Hey! Check this report out, your son Raditz got back!" Fasha laughed. "Finally eh? Well at least that harpy you mated will finally get off your back hey?"
Bardock just remained very quiet, before smiling falsely. "Yea, thank goodness. I'll catch you guys before our next job in a few days. Those guys at HQ are bastards for giving us a few days between the next mission."
"Well, good luck seeing your son old friend. I'm sure he'll be just like you." Tora congratulated. "Let us know when we can meet these kids of yours. Lucky bastard with the Elite boy, bet those other two are too."
As soon as he got away from Tora and the others, Bardock was angry enough that he punched a hole in the wall. He needed to let off some steam. Storming into a nearby hangar to take out his frustrations, he stumbled across a very familiar looking boy staring back at him just as he was about to smash a nearby panel.
Raditz had just arrived back with Jatoro earlier that day, he'd been trying to get the technicians to look at his pod, it was scheduled for another launch soon.
"Father?"
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The world became light again, everything felt real. Tattered clothes covered him, tattered human clothes.
When he sat up he was breathing heavily, for those moments he almost felt as if he couldn't get enough air. There was a deep pain in his chest. He realized he was in the hut he'd been in not too long ago.
Several sick coughs were heard as Guru loomed over him from his chair.
"I am happy you made the right decision, Raditz."
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A/N: Phew. That was a tough one to write, I hope it comes across well.
Also, very important note. This will be the only update this week. The Friday update is being cancelled for this week only.
One thing I really wanted to emphasize was that Bardock wasn't just some asshole. He'd once been a proud, happy father, who made a critical error in his life that really ruined it for him. It destroyed any chance of having a relationship with his eldest son, it drove a rift between him and his partner, and worst yet in some ways got her killed, as she attempted to replace Raditz eventually and died in labour as a result.
The cold, uncaring Bardock people see at the beginning of Father of Goku is really of a man whose run from his decisions as they've failed to come to fruition. Ironically, this has also made him powerful, as he'd taken any job, throwing himself in his work in any way to avoid going home and facing what he'd made for himself there.
Raditz himself is really the train wreck that he is, not just because of this, but because he tends to run from his problems as well. He's only started confronting them since he fought Goku and Piccolo.
Regardless, I really wanna know what people think of this chapter. Love or it hate it, it took a lot of work to try and construct and try to bring life to it. I'd say its one of my favourites overall right now as of completing it.
Dark Impaler: There are lots of fight scenes coming up. Some with Turles, some not, but all the same you'll find it's one hell of a ride.
Coldbule: I promise Raditz won't have a power level of 48,000. lol
Question One: answered this chapter largely :P
Question Two: You'll have to read to find out :P
Question Three: Whose to say he hasn't?
Question Four: Cargo is going to play a role in the story. Whether his role is revealed more in the Frieza saga, or later, will be dependent on how much I can write. Originally I was going to make a chapter called The Magical Adventures of Frieza and Cargo (not kidding), but writer's bloc had me write around it. Now I'm not sure I'll be doing it during the Frieza's saga.
Question 5: I cannot tell you that. You know that :P
And there seems to be this obsession with killing Turles I'm detecting. We haven't even gotten that far into the story, be patient my friend :P
Luke: As always, thank you Luke.
Full Power: After this chapter, you can begin to see why Guru didn't help Raditz at first. Because Raditz is just like the men who have butchered his people.
Also, it was great crushing the Crusher Corps :D
I'm glad you like my rendition of Raditz as well :)