A World Away

by ripitupgenki

Years after Mu's defeated the courageous seven have settled into their new lives. What happens when Genki hides a deep secret from the rest. How will the others react? How will they deal with his world and his problems when he finally tells them? Warning: Lots of drama and dark themes. Main pairing is GxH & TxGR; there will be HxGR and GxGR as well throughout this story.

5. Admissions

AAN: More explanations this chapter but also more understanding between characters. My chapters seem to be getting longer and longer. I hope you enjoy all the extra length.

Admissions

Genki woke some time later; he didn't feel like getting up or doing anything. His emotions were still raw from before he jumped back. * Damn… how can I help Holly and Suezo when I can barely function now… * he glanced at the clock realizing he had slept most of the day, he forced his mind to focus on the task he needed to accomplish today, it was a distraction from his own issues.* seriously though I don't really know how well things will go with them… Suezo wanting to bang her is not going to go over well at all. Come to think of it… how can he bang her? He doesn't have a cock I don't think… * Genki sweat dropped trying to imagine where a penis would be on Suezo, * If he has one it's internal like a dragon I guess… * He shook off the weird thoughts as he refocused, * Holly will definitely freak out over this… I just hope I can get her to talk to him… this needs to be resolved. I can completely understand Suezo… I feel it as well. I don't want him to go through what I have… * Genki sighed and forced himself out of bed, dressing for the day he reached into his medicine cabinet in his bathroom. Pulling out a prescription he took one pill then left for the kitchen. He made a quick meal and forced himself to eat it, he wasn't hungry but he knew he needed this. Once he finished he went upstairs again to meditate, he hoped that this would be enough to get him through for tonight.

---

Back in the monster world

Holly was just getting up, she felt a little tired but not enough to justify sleeping in. She rose and began her morning rituals as she got ready for the day. She hummed a tune as prepared to cook the morning meal. She hadn't felt this good in a long time, she had enjoyed the prior night immensely. Tiger found her looking through some spices for the porridge she was planning on making. He knew he needed to talk to her about Genki but he hadn't seen her this happy in a long time. * do I really have the heart to bring this up right now? She hasn't been this happy in ages… still Genki is in pain… * he sighed heavily, * I have no choice; I can't let this go on. I will wait till she starts her chores to say anything, she at least deserves a few hours reprieve before I talk to her and spoil her good mood. By then she will have spoken to Genki about Suezo at least. * Tiger wandered back out of the room to find Granity, he wanted to talk to her for a bit as well. Granity was reading the book Holly had gotten from Genki in the living room. Tiger chuckled as he hopped up onto the couch next to her.

"Decided to read up on some things too?"

"I figured if it was so important that he gave her a huge book then I should probably see what it was about as well."

"You chose him as your second trainer didn't you?" His voice was soft so only she heard him; she glanced his way before nodding.

"I did… I'm worried about him though… He's hiding some things and he's afraid to talk about them." Tiger sighed,

"Tell me about it, I tried talking to him last night."

"Did he say anything? I know he was upset."

"Yeah, come with me for a minute." Tiger got up and walked out the door of the house. Granity put a marker in the book and followed.

Once they were alone Tiger turned towards her,

"Genki told me what he was upset about. Apparently Suezo had asked about their argument, it dredged up some bad memories. Holly hurt him pretty bad when she rejected him… in fact he's hurting far worse then I imagined he would be." Granity could see he was serious,

"What do you mean?"

"Granity… Genki told me that he no longer wishes to speak to Holly about being together… that he can't handle another rejection because he might not… be able to fight off his darker side." Granity tilted her head in confusion,

"What darker side Tiger?" Tiger looked away checking the area again,

"Keep this to yourself alright?"

"I will, you have my word."

"Genki became suicidal after their argument. The rejection was almost too much for him. He said if he hadn't had help he wouldn't be here today." Granity's eyes widened, she had never imagined he would take the rejection that hard. Genki had always seemed to be emotionally stable, resilient to almost anything. Yet now she realized that was a façade, that in reality he was hurting and he felt alone.

"Are you sure?" She looked into Tiger's eyes,

"Yes, he confirmed it. He said he can no longer trust Holly with his heart…" Granity closed her eyes a moment as she processed this. *I knew she had hurt him… I never realized she had hurt him this bad. Why has he remained silent about this? *

"Why didn't he say anything? We all blamed him that day…"

"He was protecting her…" Tiger spoke softly, "he wants her to be happy."

"Yet he feels alone and he's in pain."

"When I challenged him and said that what he really wants is to be with Holly. He told me that what he wants doesn't matter." Tiger sighed, "He's given up Granity… I could see it in his eyes before he left. He doesn't have it in him to pursue her anymore. He believes there is no hope for him." Granity was silent a moment just thinking things over. Finally she met Tiger's gaze again,

"Are you planning to tell Holly this?"

"I am, I want to confront her. This is ridiculous… this never should have happened..."

"Holly told me about her fight with him, I knew what it was over. Between Akame and I we got her to release him from the promise she forced on him. But I never imagined that he took it so hard… wait… the book… he wants her to know." Granity realized suddenly, Tiger tilted his head.

"What are you talking about?" She looked back at him,

"When I popped over Holly asked him some questions after I was done asking him to be my trainer. Akame apparently clued her in to some degree that Genki has 'issues'. Genki had confirmed this to her but refused to say anything else. Instead he had told her he wanted her to read the book first so she could understand them."

"Ok I follow, what is the book about then?"

"Psychological disorders, it's about mental problems people have. What we took as a rough break up was devastating to him because he has Depression. I just read about it before you came by. Because of this mental problem he couldn't recover on his own from such a painful experience. He is probably on medication for it, though he hasn't mentioned it."

"Why would he hide this?"

"He's scared… he mentioned before that he hates when people think he can't do things because of his fears. I believe he is even more afraid of our reaction to this. We don't have medicine for such disorders… he was afraid…"

"…That we would turn on him?"

"Yeah I think so." Granity paused a moment realizing something else, "Tiger… he confirmed 'issues' plural… he doesn't just have one." She glanced to him,

"Then he is preparing to tell Holly?"

"I think so… damn… if he's given up then."

"Wait he said that if Holly changed her mind then she would have to pursue him. There is still a chance of them being together."

"Yes but can he ever trust her again?"

"I'm… not sure." Tiger frowned thinking about that, "If he is trying to tell her then he wants help… he must want to trust her on some level."

"I'll jump across with Holly; wait to talk to her until she returns. I'm going to see if I can stay with Genki for the night. I need to form my bond with him anyway, and maybe I can get him to open up a little."

"Just don't push him too hard, if he has more than one problem…"

"I know. I will be gentle. I'm going to try and finish that section on disorders before she jumps. I want to have an idea of what they are like. Perhaps I can spot what the other issue actually is." Tiger nodded, they both headed back to the house and Granity resumed her reading.

When Holly was ready to jump across Granity smiled and asked to come, stating that she would like to start her bond with Genki. Holly smiled to her and readily agreed, she called Genki who confirmed he would be ready to receive them. They both walked to the shrine with Tiger, all the while Granity was thinking of how to approach Genki about this. * I can't be blunt this isn't a subject that he will just tell me about. If he is truly in pain then all I can do is gently probe and hope he's willing to trust me. *

---

Genki felt better after his meditation but he still wasn't a hundred percent. The medication had lifted his mood but it did nothing for the pain he felt. He pushed it aside as he opened the gate, once Holly popped through he grabbed her and pulled her out of the way, Granity soon followed.

"Thanks, I really need to get better at this." Holly stated as he nodded, she noticed his mood seemed off but didn't say anything. * What's wrong with him? * They both followed him into the kitchen, Holly noticed he had everything set up already.

"Holly after we are done with this I need to speak with you about Suezo." She noticed his gaze was filled with mixed emotions.

"Alright… I have been wondering about how you got through to him and what his problem was."

"I can go down stairs if needed." Granity volunteered, Genki shook his head.

"There's no need, you are involved as well." Granity gave him a questioning look then shrugged as she looked over at Holly who looked just as confused. It didn't take long for Holly to change his bandage; she was getting much better at it now that it was a routine. Genki had the girls follow him to the living room to talk with them.

"So what's going on and how am I involved?" Genki sighed,

"My hunch was correct on what his issue actually was. I wish in this case I was wrong. First you both need to be aware that he knows you two are making love. He said it to me the other night." Holly and Granity both looked stunned,

"But how?"

"I don't know, but he knows about it." Granity recovered first then asked,

"Does he not approve?"

"No…" Holly answered; Genki frowned as she answered for him. * so she knew? * "He's jealous Granity…"

"Why?" Holly refused to answer so Genki did in her place.

"He has always wanted to make love to Holly. Holly has always refused him." Granity's eyes widened as she looked over at the woman in question, Holly was shaking. Granity placed an arm around her to comfort her. "However that is not the only problem. He is also terrified of losing her. He believes she no longer loves him and will leave him behind if she were to marry." Holly looked up at him now; he could see this she hadn't been aware of.

"Why does he think that?" Granity probed,

"I think it's because of your bond with her. Holly barely resisted being physical with you, but has always denied him. He knows their bond is weakening, he felt it."

"Genki… I knew he wanted to bed me… he's always been that way. I can't have sex with him; but I will always love him. He's like a brother to me."

"I know Holly but you need to tell him you love him. You need to be honest with him. I want both of you to talk this out. I promised him I would be there to help, to be a mediator. I know you hate talking about sex or anything like this, but it must be done. You have to fix this before the bond breaks." He closed his eyes, "I know he tried to grope you, I know he has broken your trust and that he has a hard time trusting you." Holly nodded,

"Holly, it will hurt you both greatly if it breaks…" Granity spoke softly,

"I know…"

"Then agree to meet and try to talk this out." Genki met her eyes as she looked at him.

"I'm not sure I can fix this…"

"Will you try?" Genki's voice was neutral and soft. It took a moment for Holly to answer, finally she nodded.

"I will try… I love him so I have to try at least…" Genki nodded, Granity noticed a new emotion in Genki's eyes after Holly said that. He looked both hurt and sad just then. Before she could really understand his emotions he moved his eyes to the window.

"We'll plan on next weekend then. I will come over and help you both. Hopefully we can find a way for both of you to make amends." Holly nodded,

"Alright, we will plan on that." Genki sighed as he looked back at Granity,

"I heard you want to start our bond Granity?"

"Yeah, if you are alright with that… if it's a bad time…" He shook his head,

"It's fine, though I will have to disappear briefly tomorrow morning…" Granity tilted her head,

"You have work?" He shook his head,

"I need to visit my brother…" He looked distant just then, Holly picked up on his emotions now.

"Did something happen to him?" Genki looked over at her question, and then nodded.

"He's in the hospital, in the critical wing. Only family are allowed to visit in that wing. I need to be there for him."

"Do you know what happened to him?" He nodded to Granity's question,

"I do yes…"

"Can you tell us?" Holly asked gently, * She must realize he's upset * Granity thought as she waited. He sighed after a moment; he had seemingly debated whether to tell them.

"He tried to take his own life by slitting his own wrists. I don't know the reason, none of us do. We were lucky his roommate found him before he died." His voice was soft; his eyes watched the birds outside of the window. Holly gasped at that, her hands moving to cover her mouth as she took that in. * wait his brother is suicidal? * Granity thought as she asked,

"Do you think he'd tell you?"

"I'm not sure… he isn't good with words. I will try, that's all I can do. We know what caused that response but not the trigger for it. My guess is he was hurt emotionally… either that or he has completely given up on life."

"What caused the response?"

"Depression, he has a second mental issue… his Anxiety is so bad that it masked it. We never realized he was fighting two things at once. It explains a lot… I guess I should have realized there was something more going on."

"You can't blame yourself Genki…" Holly finally spoke as Granity thought over some things, * if his brother has anxiety then Genki may also have it. Perhaps not as bad as his brother… it would explain why he feels guilty and feels like he should be there for him. *

"I know Holly… I just feel like I should be doing more the help him…"

"You can only do so much."

"Holly is right; don't take all this on yourself. You can only help with so much; he has to fight back himself." Genki nodded reluctantly, "Genki its fine if you need to visit him, I can stay here and read or something." He looked over at Granity then nodded. After a few minutes he sighed,

"Thank you both. I feel much better." They smiled; he really needed to talk things out. Holly rose and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"We will always be here Genki…" He smiled to her and nodded.

"I appreciate it."

"I will leave you and Granity alone, the bond needs time to form and distractions don't help." Genki chuckled,

"You know from experience huh?"

"Yes I do. I will wait till this weekend to talk to Suezo. I trust you know what you are doing. Though I am curious… what did you say that finally got him to leave me alone?" Genki smiled and met her gaze.

"Simple, I told him that if he truly loved you that he would let you go so that you can be happy." Holly's eyes widened at this statement, as did Granity's but for a different reason. * He told Suezo about their fight to prove a point to him. I understand now. *

"Genki… thank you for helping him see that he was hurting me…" He nodded; he then walked to the kitchen. Holly followed, confused as to what he was doing. He pulled a piece of paper from the counter and handed it to her. "Is this the cake recipe you used?" He nodded,

"I know you were going to ask for it. So I wrote it down for you." She hugged him, catching him off guard.

"Thank you." Holly smiled brightly to him making him chuckle, "I should jump back, Tiger is waiting for me." Genki nodded, he opened the portal for her and sent her back. Granity had remained silent while they interacted.

---

After Holly was gone she smiled to Genki, he gave her a questioning glance.

"Let's go chat for a bit. You've never formed this kind of bond before have you?"

"Not on purpose no. Mocchi and I have one but…. I have no clue how it formed." He rubbed the back of his head embarrassed and she laughed at this.

"I thought so. Come with me and I'll explain." She led him back into the living room and had him sit beside her on the couch. "Go ahead and put your arm around me Genki." He hesitated a moment but did as she asked. She leaned against him, relaxing with him. She took his other hand in her own interlacing her fingers with his. Genki seemed unsure of things but let her do it regardless, she smiled to him. * He's just like Holly… Just as cautious as her. *

"Granity… what would you like me to do?" He asked as he wasn't sure what she had in mind.

"Just relax and listen for now. Ask questions if you have them." He nodded, "The first bond we need to form is the emotional or heart bond. This will begin to form the link between us." She saw him nod his understanding. "In order for us to do this you must open you heart to me and I have to do the same to you. We are both going to become vulnerable to each other. Remember this is about building trust, it won't form overnight." He nodded,

"Then is a slow building process correct?"

"Yes, we will slowly open up to each other." she could see some hesitation on his part before he asked his next question.

"I will let you show me the pace you want to go at. I am wondering something though."

"What?"

"Why did you want to sit with me this way?"

"I want to start trusting you around me physically as well. Letting you touch me slowly. I need to feel physically safe with you before I can fully open up my heart." He seemed surprised by this answer but then nodded.

"I think I understand." He closed his eyes a moment, "Granity, what kinds of touches would you like to start with? I want to help you feel comfortable." She smiled to him,

"I want to be in your arms, you can touch me as long as you are gentle and not being perverted. I trust you; it's just been awhile since I was touched by a man." He nodded his understanding,

"I will be careful. If you feel uncomfortable then tell me or show me. I will stop immediately if you want me to." she smiled in gratitude.

"Genki the emotional bond is the most important bond we can have; it will be hard for me to do this. But I chose you for a reason; I know you won't hurt me." He seemed unsure of what she wanted him to do now, "Will you listen to what he did to me?"

"Are you certain you are willing to share?" She nodded, "Then I will. I'd like to know how to help you after all. Perhaps hearing the story will help me understand better." She smiled,

"In return, share something personal with me. I want to hear about your life and who you were with. We rarely get to talk about such things." He smiled and nodded, settling in to listen to her tale.

---

Meanwhile in the monster world….

Holly and Tiger had returned to the village to complete their morning chores. Tiger deliberately finished his early so that he could locate Holly before she finished hers. * I need to speak with her, I'm glad Granity could help piece things together for me but still will Holly listen to me? * He found her by the barn feeding the chickens. She had this chore today, each other villagers traded out livestock chores so they could all have a day off. She seemed preoccupied with her thoughts when he arrived, her brow furrowed. * I wonder what Genki said to her about Suezo… she looks upset. * He waited for her to finish before he approached her.

"Holly is everything alright?" She jumped, a little startled by his presence.

"Tiger you scared me…"

"Sorry…"

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." He saw her cringe, "Will you talk to me?" she shook her head,

"I can't right now. Later Tiger, I promised Genki I would speak with Suezo. We will be doing that this next weekend." He nodded then sighed,

"Look I need to talk to you alone for a bit." She glanced at him seeing discomfort in his eyes,

"Alright, I was planning to take a break anyway. Where would you like to talk?"

"How about by the ruins?" She knew that was outside of town and way out of ear shot. * what's bothering him? * She nodded, he indicated for her to hop on his back and she complied. He carried her effortlessly to their destination.

Once they arrived he moved over to where they could relax unseen. Holly got off his back and took a seat on a nearby fallen column.

"Tiger what is this about? What's bothering you?" Tiger took a deep breath then looked her in the eyes.

"I don't know if you noticed but after Genki spoke to Suezo last night he was upset." Holly shook her head,

"I didn't no. I would assume it was due to what he spoke to Suezo about."

"It is. I got him to tell me what was going on. Suezo asked about the argument you both had." Holly's eyes widened, "He told me it dredged up some bad memories. I pushed him a bit; he told me what happened between you two." She looked away now, "You know we blamed him right? We believed he betrayed you that day, hurt you. I never realized until yesterday that he was the one hurting." This caught her attention and she refocused on him.

"You blamed him?"

"Yes, he probably felt so alone right after it happened…" Holly frowned; she hadn't realized that they had blamed him,

"Why didn't he…"

"He was protecting you." her eyes widened,

"Why? I didn't deserve…" He shook his head,

"He said he didn't want you to be put under any more stress." She seemed unsure of what do to with this news, he sighed. "Why did you reject him that day? All of us believed you loved him, so did he." Holly remained silent for a bit looking at the ground. Her hands clasped in her lap,

"I was afraid Tiger…"

"Afraid of what?"

"That we couldn't balance the two worlds, deal with having two lives essentially. I still don't think it's feasible…"

"So you gave up without even trying?" She nodded, "Did his love mean nothing then?" She looked up shocked.

"Of course it meant something, I just… between that and my fear of the portal. I couldn't bring myself to try. I begged him that day not to bring it up again."

"So you rejected him and threw away his love because of fear?" Holly nodded,

"He mentioned you released him from his promise not to speak with you about being together."

"I did yes… he didn't want to talk about it though."

"He is aware you released him because you felt guilty not because you actually want to talk about it. He also stated he no longer wishes to talk about it either." Holly's eyes told him she was shocked to hear that, but he knew there were more surprises to come for her. "I challenged him, asking him why he wouldn't try again. He said he couldn't take another hit."

"Couldn't take another hit?"

"He means your rejection of him." Tiger sighed, "Holly you hurt him bad that day, far worse then I imagined. Part of it may have been because it was so unexpected; he wasn't able to even prepare himself beforehand. His heart was completely open that day; you broke not just his heart but his trust. He had no idea anything was wrong until that day."

"I know I hurt him Tiger. I realized it after that fact… He was actively avoiding me for months… his eyes were filled with pain."

"Then why didn't you try to help him?"

"What could I do? Pretend to change my mind even though I hadn't? I wasn't going to lie to him."

"Have you changed your mind at all?" She looked unsure,

"I'm not sure…" She hesitated now, "I…"

"Holly, you need to look deep inside. Do you still love him?" She looked stunned at Tiger's insistence; reluctantly Holly closed her eyes and began to search as he had asked. Tiger waited patiently, * If she doesn't love him then there truly is no hope… Still… Genki deserves to have some closure after all this time. * Holly finally opened her eyes and met Tiger's

"I do yes."

"Then help him. He's still in pain Holly, I saw it in his eyes. He let his guard down for me." Tiger looked away, "I honestly don't know how he is dealing with it at all based on what I saw. But there is more that you need to know about." Holly took a moment to process that,

"What do I need to know Tiger?" * What could possibly be going on? Why hasn't he told me about his pain? How did I miss it when I connected with him earlier? I should have sensed it. * Tiger seemed to debate on how to tell her this next information; it wouldn't be easy for her to accept.

"Holly… after I confronted him he told me why he couldn't take another rejection." He sighed, "He became suicidal after your fight…" He looked into her eyes and saw his words hit her hard. Her eyes were wide with shock, he could see guilt and pain in them.

"He tried to kill himself?" Tiger nodded,

"He told me if he hadn't had help he might not be alive today. He couldn't fight his darker side alone." Holly was shaking now; she couldn't believe what he had told her. It seemed so unreal to her that this would happen, especially since Genki always seemed to be so resilient.

"Why would he… do that? I know it hurts to be rejected. I've felt it but I've never…" She was shaking her head.

"Holly look at me." She did so, tears in her eyes. "I spoke to Granity; she told me he informed you that he had 'issues'. This is one of them apparently; he has a mental disorder called depression, Granity looked it up for me. The disorder made it impossible for him to handle the break up like a normal person would. He couldn't get over it on his own, that's why he needed help. He gave you that book because he wants to tell you, on some level he still trusts you." Tiger sighed, "All though, he did say he can no longer trust you with his heart, but he still trusts you in some way. If you truly love him and want to try again you are going to have to initiate it. He won't pursue you at this point, he has given up. He told me that he let you go because he loved you; he wanted you to be happy." Holly looked like she was having a hard time processing everything, he could sympathize with her but she needed to hear this. It was the only way to get her to do what needed to be done. Holly's mind raced as she dealt with everything, * I almost killed him… over my own fear?! I never realized he had a problem… he never said anything. They blamed him… oh Genki you must have felt completely betrayed that day… completely alone. And yet he still tries to help us… but why. I'm surprised he doesn't hate me… I need to read that book. Granity figured it out; I need to understand all of this. I need to fix this; he doesn't deserve to be in pain anymore. I never should have hurt him; I was so selfish that day. * Tears fell as she realized just how badly she had messed up, * I understand now… he emotionally can't deal with me anymore… His brother… wait he said 'issues' he is just like his brother… *

"Tiger… I'm not sure if he will let me make amends for this."

"Will you try?"

"Yes, he deserves to be healed… I think I understand now… He's like his brother. He is fighting more than one mental disorder. Yet he is helping us… it hurts knowing what I have done to him." Tiger nuzzled her gently,

"I know. Please try to help him Holly, but most of all show him you love him. I'm not sure if his trust in you can be repaired or not. But I do know he deserves to know the truth and to be healed." She nodded,

"I will do what I can for him. I wouldn't blame him if he wants nothing to do with me." He nodded understanding what she meant.

"Holly… one last thing. You need to be honest with the others. They still blame him, clear his name." Holly nodded, looking into his eyes.

"I will Tiger; it's time I owned up to what I have done."

---

Back in the real world…

"Granity…" Genki couldn't believe what she had been put through by that man. He would kill him himself if he wasn't already dead. He hesitated a moment, gently he touched her cheek, wiping the tears away. She had let her guard drop around him, letting him see her pain. Granity leaned into his touch, taking comfort in it. Genki smiled, he leaned forward and very gently touched his forehead to hers. She seemed to take comfort from this small affection. They stayed this way for a while, neither had the words to speak. Granity knew by the look in Genki's eyes that he understood and wanted to help her. She let him comfort her for a while, when she pulled away he still looked concerned.

"Thank you Genki…" He nodded, "would you hold me for a while?" He smiled, gently he brought his arms around her, and she leaned into him as he held her. She enjoyed his embrace, her head resting on his shoulder as his hand moved soothingly along her spine. His touch was exactly what she had needed; he was so gentle and deliberate in his actions. Unlike Holly he wasn't shy, he would do what she needed him to, and all she had to do was ask.

"You asked me to share something personal." His voice came softly, "How about I start with my own experiences."

"That's fine, whatever you feel comfortable with." He nodded,

"I have only dated a few women and I was only ever intimate with two of them. I tend to be careful about that type of thing; I have to feel comfortable with them first. A lot of women see me only for my looks; I hate it when they throw themselves at me hoping I'll bed them." He could feel her hand gently come to rest on his chest, her thumb caressing him. She was encouraging him to continue his tale in her own way. "You know of one of those I bedded already, Akame was the last woman I was with."

"Yes, I gathered that from your conversation with Holly." she smiled, "How long were you with her?"

"Three years, she was the first I opened up to in a long time."

"How long ago did you two agree to part?"

"About two years ago now. Though we are still close friends." He felt her nod, "I haven't dated since we broke up."

"Any reason why?" Her voice soft and gentle, she would easy him into things. She knew he was afraid to open up again.

"I just… there has always been a void in my heart. No one has been able to fill it… not since…"

"Since Holly rejected you?" She felt him go ridged for a moment; he then seemed to relax under her gentle touch.

"Yeah…" Granity could sense he was fighting himself now.

"Who was the other woman?"

"She was a lawyer… very intelligent. She became arrogant after a while. We were only together a few months."

"I can see arrogance being an issue for you. Though I am curious as to why you were intimate with her."

"We… fell in love rather rapidly, she was very sweet at first and we had a lot in common. It was only after a few months that I saw her true colors. We only had sex a couple of times; it wasn't high on the priority list. We were both extremely busy at the time." She knew he was still upset so she decided to probe something else before trying things with Holly again.

"Was it higher on the priority list for you and Akame?" Her voice soft but she knew he heard her. He nodded,

"Yes, Akame and I were very sexually active. She was an addict I swear, wanted it more than I did." He chuckled at that memory.

"What kinds of things did you two experiment with?" he was quiet a moment, she remained patient with him. She knew he might feel uncomfortable divulging this.

"I can remember some of what we did but to be honest I lost track after a while. We always tried to explore as much as we could, we only ever did the things that we actually liked after the first time." He paused a moment, "I already told you about the sensation play, it's not limited to textures though. Hot and cold can be used as well."

"Hot and cold water?"

"No hot wax and ice usually."

"Wouldn't wax burn you?"

"Not if it's done correctly. We used paraffin wax which melts at a lower temperature." He saw her nod, as she continued to listen. "We also did a lot with the B & D side of things. We were heavy in the discipline category."

"How does the discipline aspect work?"

"I'll give you an example; you may have noticed I don't get aroused easily. That's due to that discipline. If she told me not to get aroused physically I was supposed to try and resist it." Granity looked surprised now,

"I wasn't aware that was possible."

"It is, it takes a long time to master though."

"Can you still do it?"

"I can, though I am a bit out of practice." He saw her smile at his statement, "We can play with that later once we get further along if you'd like?"

"I would like to test that if you don't mind. Was that the only thing you learned?"

"No, I can resist orgasm for a while and other things too. Like I said we ran the gambit on that."

"We are so testing these things. I have never heard of a man being about to do such things." He chuckled at her fascination and excitement.

"Granity, if you want to explore things we can. I don't mind, just keep in mind that if we do this we must communicate." She nodded,

"I completely understand. I was hoping you'd be willing to show me some things after we became intimate. I want to experience new things, create new memories." He smiled, * well I guess I know for sure now that she wants to bed me. * He thought as he answered her,

"I'd be happy to help. Plus I can show you a few tricks you can do on Holly." Granity laughed,

"If she will let me, I would love to pleasure her more." He chuckled at this; he knew Holly was such a prude she was likely to balk at anything new. Granity was quiet a moment before she spoke again, * hope this works though I'm sure he'll be upset once the topic shifts to him. *

"Genki… could you instruct both Holly and I on some pleasure filled activities? I know she's a prude but she really does like sex. She has a hard time admitting it though." She gave him a lopsided grin; He looked both surprised and unsure of things.

"I can… do you think she'd listen though? I mean actually listen and not flip out silently in the corner."

"I'm working with her on that. I want her to get over the sex issues, so she can communicate more. Do you knew why she is always embarrassed and won't talk about sex?" he shook his head,

"She's never said why other than it's very private for her."

"She uses that as an excuse." Granity looked amused now,

"Oh? Then what's the real reason?"

"She gets aroused easily." She could see Genki was stunned; he shifted his gaze a moment as he thought that over. * Seriously? Well I guess it makes sense in some weird way… *

"She gets aroused just talking about it?"

"Yep, and it embarrasses her. She really doesn't want to admit that she has a high sex drive. She wants sex, but suppresses her desires." She could see him thinking things over now, she knew Holly was likely to not enjoy him knowing but he needed this background.

"She's driving herself nuts…"

"Yeah she is… I want to help relieve that. It's hard when she doesn't communicate though."

"Does she moan during sex?" Granity raised a brow at that inquiry,

"She does yes, but it's hard to hear and usually only happens when she reaches orgasm." Genki looked thoughtful a moment,

"Granity, I can probably teach you how to look for subtle signs of pleasure. It might help you with her. Perhaps if you can get her to release a lot of her pent up sexual frustration she can have a conversation about sex without feeling aroused." He could see she was skeptical of this,

"How do I know you aren't just after my body Genki?" She teased; she saw his eyes become serious.

"I assure you I'm not. I just want to help you both." He looked away, "Holly is suppressing her own pleasure during sex not just her desires. It's probably taking her longer to reach orgasm due this."

"It does take a while yes." His eyes found her curious ones again,

"Granity, will she allow oral sex?" Granity snorted and shook her head,

"No… not yet, just my hand."

"This may be difficult, she's defiantly resisting…" His mind seemed to wander now, Granity watched as he thought things over. "Granity did she say anything about feeling any shame for wanting or enjoying sex?"

"No… but I get the impression there is something causing her shame. She is fine for a while after climax; she communicates better and pleasures me without any issues. After her hormones where off she seems… upset but won't tell me why."

"I have a hunch that whatever is causing that is the real issue. You need to get her to open up about it. If you can resolve that issue, she will probably be more open to sexual acts. What she is doing isn't healthy though; all that suppression… can lead to bigger problems." His gaze met hers now and he could see she understood. He saw her nod, she then lay her head back on his shoulder and sighed.

"So just how would you teach me? I know female anatomy better than you…" He chuckled,

"You do know that better yes, but what I'm going to teach you will work on a male or a female. Holly is still expressing herself but it's subtle. You're going to really need to look and listen to know what feels good to her and what doesn't."

"Are you trying to get a hand job Genki?" He snorted,

"No… perhaps later if you feel up to that once our relationship grows." he teased her making her chuckle at him, "You said you wanted to be comfortable with me, to share gentle touches correct?"

"I did yes."

"We can do some sensation play without having sex. I can make my reactions subtle to teach you what to look for so you can tell if someone likes something or not."

"Are you going to touch me as well?"

"Only if you want me to, it will not be anything inappropriate I assure you. I have no desire to jump into things like that this quickly."

"Alright, we can try it. Maybe it will help me deal with her."

"See if you can't get her to do oral sex as well. That will also help greatly."

"I can ask… she freaked last time I asked though." he nodded his understanding,

"I can imagine she did…" he snorted, "she keeps up this nonsense and she's going to have fainting spells due to her frustration." this got her laughing, he smiled seeing her enjoying herself. He knew she would understand things better once he showed her how to figure out subtle hints. After a few minutes he felt her hand move over his chest again, caressing gently. He closed his eyes enjoying her touch. They were silent a moment, just enjoying being with each other.

Granity finally decided to see if she could broach the subject she had been trying for.

"Say Genki… If you need help after you visit your brother let me know. I'm sure it won't be easy for you to talk to him." He glanced over at her as her hand continued to move. His eyes seemed suspicious now; she gave him a gentle smile.

"I will seek your help if it's too much for me. I have dealt with things like this before though. It's not his first mental break down, though it is the first of this type."

"I know you are able to handle a lot Genki, but sometimes it helps to be with others. You don't have to shoulder everything alone." He was silent a moment, * She's angling toward something… Tiger… she spoke to him, I'd bet on it. Can I really discuss this with her? Let's see if she did talk to him or not first. * He shifted to hold her hand, she interlaced their fingers.

"That may be true, but this isn't something easily understood Granity. Suicide is a very complicated thing; there are many variables to it. It's not as simple as just being upset or distressed. Kai has been through a lot, he has never tried to do this before so whatever it is, it's bound to be a complex and painful thing that got him to go this route." Granity seemed unsure of how to deal with this, she wasn't good at being delicate with words.

"I can't even imagine what your brother is going through to make him try to kill himself. What I do know is that it must be painful. I'm sure you understand better than me, but that doesn't mean I can't support you." He nodded,

"Yes, you can support me; without understanding though it's less effective." He shifted his eyes to her now, "Tiger already tried to do so last night. I don't think he truly understands even now, but he certainly tried." He could see in her eyes that she knew,

"Tiger cares for you as much as I do Genki. We will always be here for you." He snorted,

"I would hope not, I don't wish to bed Tiger." His voice joking, she gave him a disbelieving look before quipping back,

"I don't think he'd want to bed you either. You know what I meant."

"I do yes." He sighed, "He told you about last night huh?"

"He did, he is very worried."

"What did he tell you?" His eyes grew intense now, Granity searched them a moment before sighing.

"He told me that you have been through what your brother is doing now. That after Holly hurt you; you tried to take your own life…" Genki sighed and closed his eyes, * I didn't exactly tell him not to say anything… I had to know he'd tell someone. *

"I suppose it's fitting he spoke to you, he's aware you chose me right?"

"Yes, he knows. Genki I read through a good chuck of the book you gave to Holly. I may not understand everything but I do understand to some degree. You have depression don't you?" Genki's eyes opened, he met her gaze a moment before nodding.

"I do yes." Granity's hand went back to caressing his chest,

"You have more than one issue, just like your brother. Do you also have anxiety?" He seemed to be searching for something then after a moment averted his gaze. He nodded; it took him a moment to speak again.

"Yes, I have anxiety like my brother; my trigger point is much higher than his though. Any major stress sets him off. Mine has to build for a long time or be something specific to set it off." he felt her hand still soothingly caressing him, taking a chance since she hadn't recoiled he met her gaze again, "I have a third issue though not just two. I'm hoping my brother doesn't have it as well, I will be mentioning it to his doctors when I visit." He saw her eyes widen, he could see the great concern in them now.

"What's the third one?"

"One of the issues that tends to run alongside those disorders, Chronic Stress Disorder." Granity remembered this one being part of the anxiety section and that depression often ran with anxiety.

"Genki, do you have ways to dealing with an attack?" He nodded, "Can you teach me so I can help you if you have one?" He was shocked, * I'm surprised how well she is taking this… The monster world doesn't have anything to help people like me. Hell they treat other mental issues like the plague. * "Did you think this would scare me away? The look you are giving me is telling me that."

"I guess I did. I've seen how you all treat Rick, it's like he has the plague and no one ever helps him. Even Holly tries to avoid him if she can, though at least she isn't rude to him." Granity's eyes widen in shock, *We… basically told him we couldn't accept him… he had to fight this alone… * She felt both sad and guilty just then.

"Genki, I didn't mean for it to seem like that. No one knows what to do with Rick… we all know something is wrong but not what. The doctors have tried to help him but nothing works… we know it's not contagious but it's awkward for everyone." Genki sighed; he closed his eyes a moment.

"You could always ask him you know. You're right it's not contagious and there is nothing a doctor in your world could possibly do to help him." She looked at him confused now, his eyes found her confused orbs. "Rick is autistic; it means his brain structure formed differently while he was developing in his mother's womb. From what I have seen his case of ASD is fairly mild compared to what it could have been." He saw his words have an impact she averted her gaze as she thought things over. He let her; he knew this wasn't easy for her either.

"I'm sorry we made you feel that you had to do this alone…" he could hear the sorrow in her voice, he gently lifted her gaze to meet his, he could see she wanted to help him and that she felt bad that they had told him without words that they couldn't handle his issues.

"Granity, I know misunderstandings happen, I forgive you." Genki let go of her chin now, he smiled gently before turning his gaze outside. "As far as my attacks go… it depends on how severe it is to what I have to do." Granity blinked at him, she hadn't expected him to open up to her so easily. Not after all his careful talk earlier.

"Can describe your attacks for me? The book said they tended to vary from person to person." He smiled, now he knew she had read it for sure since she was referencing information within it. * I can only hope Holly also reads it. *

"My attacks always start with a severe migraine headache; it makes it hard for me to think. At times it can get so bad that any sound or light can be painful. Though I do get bad headaches normally, I can tell the difference between that and a stress induced headache." He found that she was attentive and listening as he continued. "A mild attack will make me irritable, short of breath, my heart will race, and I will sometimes be light headed. A severe attack will make me feel like I can't breathe at all, I'll be gasping for air; all my muscles will tense up, my heart rate will skyrocket along with my blood pressure, my vision will start to go black, my body will sometimes start shaking for no reason, and I'll be fighting to stay conscious. If it gets really bad I'll black out entirely. I have medication I take for severe bouts; I don't take it unless it's severe though." He paused a moment, seeing her looking extremely worried. "For mild attacks I go meditate or exercise, it helps a great deal."

"What if you have a severe attack in our world?" Granity asked concerned now that something might happen with everything going on recently,

"If I do, get me to a quiet area and hold me. Just gently sooth me, eventually I'll be alright. It will take longer without my medication but it can be done." He saw her nod,

"Will you show me your medication? In case it happens here?" she saw him nod,

"I will yes. It's rare I have a severe attack. Only super emotional things seem to be able to completely stress me out."

"Like a discussion with Holly?" He gave her a suspicious look,

"It could yes, depending on what is going on. Why do you ask?" Granity sighed,

"Tiger is confronting her…" Genki's eyes widened,

"Are you serious?"

"Yes… he will likely tell her about your suicide attempt…" Genki closed his eyes, he did a few breathing exercises. Granity gentle caressed him, leaning her head against his in affection. She had realized a while ago that these breathing exercises were his attempt to head off anything he felt. He did them often enough for her to take notice of them.

"Granity I need you to do something for me."

"What do you need?"

"Delay Holly, I can't talk to her about this right now… My stress level is already too high. I will have an attack if it happens this week. I need time to release my stress."

"I'll talk to her while you are visiting your brother then. How long do you need?"

"Try to get her to wait until after we deal with Suezo. Right now I can only deal with one thing at a time. Emotionally I can't handle this right now; I will talk to her as soon as I can without having an attack. It wouldn't be productive if we do it before then." She frowned, thinking about how much stress they had put him under lately, how it must feel for him to take on so much. *and yet… he has never complained… never said no. He wants to help despite what he is going through. *

"I will convince her somehow… do I have permission to mention the attacks if I need to? It might be the only way to get her to wait." her voice was soft but she knew he heard her. He was silent a moment before he responded, he wasn't sure about telling her so quickly. This was not how he had wanted things to go, * Since when does anything go as planned? I need to let go and trust her… I can't do this alone anymore. *

"You can tell her if you need to…" He sighed, "I was hoping to ease her into this but… That isn't going to work it seems. I will trust your judgment Granity. Tell her about both of my other issues if you need, I assume Tiger will tell her about the depression side of things. You explained that to him didn't you?"

"Yes, I did after I read through the section again to make sure I understood it." Granity leaned her head against his shoulder again, her hand giving his a gentle squeeze in reassurance. "This is hard for you isn't it? Letting go and waiting to see her reaction?"

"It is yes, harder than you realize I think. My anxiety makes me want to have full control over things… letting go of that control can take a lot of effort at times depending on what it is." Granity was silent a moment,

"That's why you were submissive isn't it? You wanted to learn to let go…" he chuckled and smiled, * perhaps I underestimated her… she does seem to understand. *

"Correct, I was trying to force myself to let go more often. Akame knew of my issues, she was helping me to push myself slowly. I figured if I can let go more than my stress should go down, there will be less to be anxious about. It's not that easy though, this disorder is irrational and though I attempt to use rationalization to combat it, it doesn't always work." He felt her hand beginning to caress his chest again; he relaxed into her touch leaning his head against hers. He was extremely surprised at how well this was going. He hadn't really thought that they could accept him so easily, not after the nonsense he had seen with Rick. Perhaps it was just Granity, even if she or Tiger could accept his disorders could the others? Could Holly? He didn't know and that was what scared him the most, it was what kept him quiet for so very long.

"Genki, I know you are scared. I could see it as we spoke; you are fighting your fear and trusting me. I'm grateful for that; I will cherish your trust." She gently kissed his cheek, "I understand your fear, I feel it too. I haven't let my heart be vulnerable since I was hurt. Will you let me help you, as you help me?" He nodded,

"Yes, I'll let you help. We both need healing I guess. I never realized how well you understood me until now. I'm thankful for that, and that you haven't recoiled after finding out that I'm not what I appear to be all the time." She smiled and chuckled softly,

"We both pretend to be strong to hide our weaknesses. How could I not understand? Like you I hate being pitied or thrown out of events just because others deem me unable to do something. Nor do I want to be reminded of my weaknesses constantly. I get the impression you don't either, you hate talking about these 'issues' because it's bringing something to the forefront you'd rather forget about." Genki chuckled,

"You are right; I would like to forget about them…." Granity waited a moment before she made a suggestion,

"Genki I will make sure to delay Holly, but would it help you at all to talk to me first about this? About how you feel about what she did and what she might do now?" She could see him thinking again, he seemed uncertain if his eyes were any indication. * Would it help? That's a great question… logically if I'm struggling with Holly… talking to another might assist me. Emotionally? Not sure how my heart will deal with it. I know I can trust Granity… she has opened herself to me in a way I never thought she would. She's being vulnerable to me, so that I can be in return. I should try… even if it doesn't work, it doesn't make me feel better, or make it easier… it's worth a shot. I need to trust her as she is me… perhaps she can handle everything the others cannot. * It took nearly five minutes for him to answer, in the meantime Granity just cuddled with him. She knew this would be a big step for him; he had been avoiding the topic as much as Holly.

* Foolish girl, she hurt herself and him at the same time. Now neither of them truly trust each other… * Granity had been upset with her ever since she had learned the reason for the argument. She had been the first to stop blaming Genki; she had seen his pain for a split second and realized he was hurting far more then Holly. It was in that moment she had redirected her focus to Holly instead of him.

"I don't know if it will help per say… I haven't an answer for sure on that. But I am willing to try, I trust you, I no longer wish to fight this alone. I honestly can't do it alone any longer, I haven't much strength left." He turned his gaze to meet hers letting her see just how exhausted he was from everything going on. Granity nodded her understanding; she gently caressed his cheek now. Her eyes searching his a moment before she responded,

"I will gladly lend you my strength Genki, don't face this alone anymore." Her voice soft and gentle, encouraging him to let go and use her for his strength for a while. He smiled gently,

"Thank you Granity…" She smiled in return,

"Any time, I'll always be here for you." She gave into an impulse; very carefully she leaned forward and let their lips meet. Genki's eyes widened at the act but he soon relaxed as they shared their first kiss. It remained gentle and loving, conveying the emotions in their hearts. When they separated, Genki's eyes were searching hers again. He hadn't expected her to do that, but he understood its meaning. A smile graced his face and he leaned his forehead against hers, his hand coming up to caresses her cheek. They remained this way for a little while; he spoke softly after he found his words.

"You have no idea how much this is helping me. I was afraid for so long to tell anyone, it has been such a relief to finally be able to talk about this." Granity smiled,

"I'm glad to bring some comfort and relief to you. You deserve to be happy Genki, to be able to talk to someone about what ails you without fear." he felt her hand guiding him again, their lips met once more. Genki closed his eyes and opened himself to the love she was giving him; he slowly felt their bond forming as he did. Granity had moved to place her other hand on his chest, she was focusing on forming their bond but was aware of the love he was showing her in return. The bond didn't have to be formed this way but it's what she wanted to do. She knew that Genki also wanted it from how he was reacting to her. They slowly made out as their trust and love guided their bonding.

---

In the monster world...

Holly had waited till after dinner to speak with the others, it was when everyone could focus their attention the best. Tiger said he would support her as she told them the truth but it still scared her. Her fears were thrown aside when remember the pain she had caused Genki though. * I can't believe I almost killed him… and for what? A bunch of fear and failed relationships! I'm not sure if he could ever forgive me… I doubt he will trust me like that again. Not that I blame him, I'm an emotional wreck myself. I can't even imagine what he's gone through. * She was so disgusted with herself over the matter that she had felt nauseous. Somehow she had managed to eat her dinner but the feeling was still there. As the others filtered into the living room Holly prepared herself for the rough conversation ahead. She had been running from this for so long, it felt surreal to be talking about it now. When everyone was settled and attentive Tiger cleared his throat.

"Guys we have something we need to discuss." Holly's father looked intrigued now; he could read his daughter well and knew something was making her uncomfortable.

"What's up Tiger? It's pretty strange for a group discussion now days." Hare inquired curious as ever,

"Hare I asked Tiger to call you all here." Hare perked up as Holly spoke; he could see she was upset about something.

"What do you need... to tell us?" Golem asked in his usually slow manner. Holly sighed,

"I need to talk to you all about what happened between Genki and I." Holly heard them all become silent now, "Tiger brought something to my attention that I missed the other night. He also informed me of something I hadn't been aware of." She glanced up seeing them looking worried, she glanced to Tiger now. He took it as his cue to speak,

"I don't know if anyone else noticed… but Genki was faking smiles after he spoke with Suezo. He hid the fact that he was upset extremely well but both Granity and I saw it."

"I noticed though I thought he was still mad at me…" Suezo commented as the others shook their heads indicating they hadn't noticed.

"He wasn't mad at you; no he was upset over something he discussed with you. I managed to worm it out of him though it took quite a bit of effort." He glanced back at Holly,

"He was upset after he discussed why we weren't together with you Suezo." Suezo's eye got big, "I hadn't realized until Tiger came to talk with me that you all blamed him for that argument. It was never his fault, it was mine. I told him no that day when he asked if we could officially start dating." This caught them all off guard including her father. Yosho recovered quickly, asking the question everyone else had.

"Holly, why would you reject him?" Hare had shaken his stunned stupor off now.

"Yeah… we all thought you loved him!" Holly sighed trying to find her words,

"I was too afraid things wouldn't work out, we'd have to maintain lives in both worlds. Genki tried to convince me that he could do the double life thing that I wouldn't have to. But that would bring even more stress to the relationship. On top of that I was afraid of the portal, of going to his world. I have always had a very bad feeling about the portal… I can't explain it really. I allowed fear to control me that day and I hurt him. I never realized how much until Tiger told me that he was still upset about it." They had agreed not to tell the others about Genki's 'issues' or suicide attempt just yet. They wanted Genki to have the time and opportunity to fess up on his own. Holly had stressed to Tiger that another breach of trust would likely cause permanent damage. He had reluctantly agreed with her. Yosho thought a few things over a moment before speaking to his daughter again.

"Do you still love him Holly?" his words were blunt,

"I do yes… I wasn't sure at first but after a bit of soul searching I know I do. I never really moved on either." He nodded,

"Then tell him. If he thinks you haven't changed your mind I doubt he'll say anything." Tiger interjected now,

"Your right, he told me he had given up so that she could be happy. He didn't want to stress her; he went out of his way to take the blame for that argument."

"Holly, you know we want to help…" Hare offered, unsure of what else to do.

"I know Hare this is something I have to do on my own."

"You visit him again tomorrow right chi?"

"Yes, but tomorrow is not a good day for this…" She sighed, "He told me earlier his brother is in the hospital… I know he's visiting him in the morning. He's in critical condition apparently."

"Damn… the kid has it rough, you didn't mention that before." Tiger wasn't sure how to help Genki with everything going on. * He's barely holding it together as it is… life really isn't fair to him. * Everyone looked sad at the news, Hare finally piped up.

"Do you know what happened to his brother?" Holly looked surprised by the question; she closed her eyes a moment. * Maybe I can test the waters… I don't know if Genki will be upset about this though… even if I have a good reason. Still I need to know how they will react to him… * she nodded and sighed,

"I do yes… it's kind of a touchy subject with Genki though." She glanced at everyone now, "Promise me this doesn't leave this house." They all looked at each other than each of them promised not to tell anyone else.

"Go ahead Holly; we will keep this to ourselves." Her father reassured her, he could see this was something she was unsure of sharing. Holly took a deep breath then started to speak again,

"His brother tried to commit suicide, he apparently nearly bleed out before he was found. Genki knows the cause of the attempt but not what triggered it specifically. He said he would be trying to figure that out tomorrow when he visits." The room was silent again, everyone was shocked. Suicide was extremely rare in their world; it was nearly foreign in concept.

"What do you mean he knows the cause of the attempt but not the trigger? Aren't those the same thing?" Suezo blurted out hastily, Holly shook her head.

"They are two separate things actually… I will try to explain." They were all very attentive now; her father appeared both worried and curious. "From what I have been told his brother has mental problem, they call them disorders in his world. He has a disorder called Depression; it caused him to try to take his own life. An extremely traumatic or emotional event would be the trigger. He wasn't able to handle that event whatever it was, from what Genki told me it would have to be extremely painful to get that response so quickly. Though I was also informed he has a second mental problem, Anxiety. His Anxiety would interact with and amplify his other problem." Holly had briefly read up on the disorders after her talk with Tiger. She could see the others were speechless again; it took several minutes for them to speak again. Tiger was the only one who was taking it well but he wouldn't tell them why.

"So he's insane?" Hare asked, Holly closed her eyes and shook her head again, * Great… that will go over well. I guess testing the waters was good idea… *

"Not insane, no. From what I read, depression is basically the inability to feel happy again due to imbalance in the brain. It can be handled if one had the proper medication. Genki told me he had no prior history of this, so this was an unknown issue. He has medication for his anxiety but not for this."

"What does the anxiety do?" Tiger probed he hadn't known about this ailment.

"It basically makes someone… over thinking things and feel stressed out and worried over the unknown. It can lead to panic attacks and black outs if things get out of hand." Holly could see the wolf monster thinking things over,

"Making mountains out of mole hills?"

"Basically, yes. Genki told me his brother doesn't handle his anxiety well in the first place."

"Genki help him chi?"

"He has tried Mocchi but his brother is stubborn, he doesn't let him help most of the time." She took a glance around the others seemed to be deep in thought, Suezo then asked.

"So is he similar to Rick then?" Holly was unsure of how to answer at first,

"Rick defiantly has a disorder but it's not anxiety. I'm not sure what he has actually." Tiger grunted now,

"I bet Genki knows. The Kid has always been kind and helpful to Rick. He's never treated him any differently than anyone else." Holly glanced over at Tiger, * Tiger is right… *

"He might know yes, I could ask him I suppose." She shrugged, Holly noticed her father looking thoughtful.

"Holly you may be right about waiting till after things with his brother settle down. If he is too upset then he won't be able to talk to you about this properly." He saw his daughter nod, "I can't say I know much about these disorders but from the sounds of it they are only an issue if left untreated."

"From what I have read thus far that seems to be the case." He nodded again; it was then that Hare spoke up.

"Are you going to try again with him Holly?"

"That all depends on what he will allow…"

"He's not with anyone is he?"

"No, he's been single for a while now from what Akame said."

"Wow those two really are close…" She cleared her throat,

"They dated for a while Hare. She knows him extremely well." Hare's eye balls got big,

"What?! I thought he said…"

"They are no longer together, that's why he answered you the way he did."

"Do you know why they separated?" Yosho probed gently,

"It's my understanding it was mutual thing. They both could feel… that something wasn't quite right. Akame wanted him to find his soul mate, she seems to have found hers now."

"So he doesn't have any issues with it then?" Tiger asked,

"No, they seem to be the best of friends actually. He's even on good terms with her new partner."

"Lucky guy to have a blacksmith as a wife…" Hare pondered making Holly sweat drop, same sex relationships we nearly unheard of in the monster world, marriage was pretty much out of the question. Tiger raised a brow at her reaction,

"Why do I get there feeling that there is more to that story?" Hare glanced up now realizing Holly had a strange expression,

"Hare, they aren't married but it's not a man she is with."

"WHAT?!" Hare's eye balls bulged at the implication.

"So she's with a woman?" Tiger asked,

"Yeah, her partner at the forge, they both are blacksmiths actually."

"And you call me perverted…" Suezo mumbled, "Genki probably gets a good show…"

"SUEZO!" the eye ball cringed, Holly took a moment to regained her composure. "Genki does not watch anything. He actually doesn't care that they are in a same sex relationship. From what I understand it's… common enough in his world that no one really pays any attention to it." Yosho could tell that Holly was having some issues with Suezo but decided to leave that be. The lecherous eye stalk was always pushing her buttons it seemed.

"So it's considered normal then?" He asked his daughter, she nodded. "Then that's how it is there. His culture is different just like with many other things. Our morals may not apply in his world, we honestly don't know enough about his culture to know for sure." His words made everyone else think about how little they knew of Genki's world.

"So where is Granity?" Hare asked,

"She stayed with Genki… she's forming her bond with him as her second trainer." Holly had already spoken to Granity about revealing their trainer status.

"Wait second trainer?" Hare looked confused,

"I'm her first trainer Hare, but she wanted a male trainer as well. She still has some issues that I can't help her with."

"Guess he's going to get a good lay then…" Suezo mumbled making the others glare at him and Holly snap again,

"SUEZO!" He cringed again; he could see Holly was furious with him. "I do not want to hear you insinuating things like that ever again, do I make myself clear?" He nodded, gulping. "Honestly not everything is about sex you pervert." She sighed exasperatedly; the others hadn't appreciated his insults either. Yosho could tell his daughter was protective of her newest charge. He suspected, from what he remembered during his time as Moo, that Pixie had been abused by the man that unlocked her. He never said anything though, and he understood his daughter being upset; Suezo had practically called Granity a whore with his statement. From what he knew of her, Granity was unusual for a pixie breed, far more reserved and less flirty. She was not the type to sleep around at all. After Holly calmed down Tiger nudged her, she looked over at him unsure of what was going on.

"When you visit tomorrow just feel things out with Genki, I'm sure Granity will sense it if he's in pain. I know she will try to get him talking." Holly nodded,

"I will though I'm not sure if he will even talk to her right now."

"Give it time, once they start bonding I think he will." She nodded, she knew that was true but it might not happened right away. * I can only hope she can help him while I can't. *

---

Genki had shown Granity around his home, making sure she knew where everything was. Once done he had decided it'd be a good time to give her a run down on his medication. He led her to his room and showed her the medicine cabinet in his master bath.

"This bottle contains my medicine for my attacks. I only need one pill." He handed her the bottle, she looked it over, then looked back at him confused.

"How does it open?"

"Push down on the top and twist left." She did so and found it opened after a few minutes of trying. She noticed the pills were a fairly decent size. Replacing the cap she handed it back to him. He put it away as she looked over his other medicine.

"Do you have medication for the depression as well?" He nodded and pointed to a different bottle.

"This one is for that, it is also one pill. I don't like taking it if I don't have to."

"Why?"

"I'm sure you noticed my strange mood earlier?"

"Yes, I did. It worried me."

"It makes me feel that way when I'm using it. I dislike how I feel but I know when I have to use it." She nodded,

"I understand, you use both sparingly, you want to do it on your own."

"I do yes." He closed the cabinet, "The rest of the meds in this cabinet are things for pain, fevers, stuff like that."

"Basic medication then?"

"Yeah" he walked back out of the bath into his room. He sat down on the bed; Granity noticed he seemed upset still.

"Are you feeling stressed?" He nodded, "How about I give you a massage?" He glanced over at her,

"I'd like that very much…"

"Lay down on your belly for me. You seem to carry a lot of your stress in your lower back and shoulders." Genki complied, resting his head in the pillows of his bed. Granity climbed up on the bed and straddled him, he felt her hands begin to work his neck and shoulders. Slowly working out the knots she found. He closed his eyes relaxing, eventually she moved down to between his shoulder blades. She felt a lot of tension there, she focused on the area under his shoulder blades. Soon Genki couldn't help himself, it felt so good he let out a soft moan. Granity heard it, raising a brow she continued working his tense muscles. His moans increased in volume and frequency when she got to the small of his back. She felt the biggest amount of tension here, * so this seems to be where he carries most of his tension. It must feel incredible to him if he's moaning this much. I'll let him enjoy himself, we can talk about the moaning after I finish. * it took Granity a few more minutes to get all the tension released, once she made sure his whole back was relaxed she stopped and came to sit beside him. He didn't move for a moment but did look up at her.

"Thanks, I feel much better." he smiled, she returned his smile,

"Anytime, I'm glad I could help. Though you surprised me with the moans of pleasure. I wasn't aware I was that good at massages." She teased him with a smirk, he blushed slightly then carefully rolled over onto his back to speak with her.

"You are exceptionally good at massages Granity" he reached over to take her hand making she chuckle at him.

"Doesn't explain the moaning though."

"I supposed not." he sighed, "I have been sensitive to touch ever since my Anxiety first kicked in. From what I can tell from my research its an over stimulation of the nerves in my body due to my emotional state. The more stressed I am the more sensitive I get. It can get so bad that a simple touch will cause pain at times. Thankfully most of the time it just gives extra sensation, a pleasureful touch will feel even better than normal. If my emotional stress goes down then the sensitivity does dissipate for awhile."

"Ah that explains your reaction the other night as well. I wasn't aware of that sensitivity." She paused a moment thinking, "So releasing tension feels very good to you huh?"

"It does yes."

"Were you holding back the other night?"

"I was yes… I figured Holly thought I was weird enough as it was with all the kinky sex talk stuff. I did need to be moaning too…" He blushed slightly, Granity chuckled at this. Smirking she moved to lay down next to him now, resting her head on his chest, her hand resting on his stomach. She heard his heart rate pick up slightly, but he seemed to relax again quickly. His arms came around her to gently hold her.

"I don't think you need to worry so much. She will accept you Genki, it will just take time. I understand you were trying to ease her into things, you were afraid it would scare her off to find out too much too fast. You realize she hurt herself that day too right? She doesn't admit to it but she did… she no longer trusts herself at times." She gently began to caress his abdomen, she heard his breath hitch but he didn't stop her.

"I know she hurt herself yes… It was obvious to me that she was having issues after she rejected me. The fact that she refused to admit it meant I could do nothing to help, I wasn't allowed to talk about it…" He sighed, "I will be honest Granity, I don't believe she can fully accept me… if she could throw away love because she was afraid it wouldn't work or of a portal… I just don't see her being able to get through this." His voice was filled with sorrow, it wasn't something he liked thinking about but it's what he believed to be true. Granity was shocked by his words, she never realized he had completely lost faith in Holly. * though given then pain she put him through over such a stupid reason… I can kind of understand. *

"If that's true then why are you telling her at all? Why lead her down a path where she could understand?" Her voice was soft and inquisitive. She suspected he still loved Holly, that he still wanted to try but that his hands had been tied for so long that he no longer had the strength to try again. She felt his hand begin to caress her side absentmindedly. It took him a moment to respond, so she just closed her eyes and enjoyed his touch. She had wanted to be with someone this way for awhile. She had tried with Holly but she always seemed to get embarrassed after a little bit and start to fidget. Genki seemed to relax the more she touched him, which is exactly what she needed right now. Gentle relaxing touch and being held.

"I can't hide my stress anymore… you were all bound to notice eventually. As I get older my issues seem to get worse not better, it takes more will power to deal with them. I really don't have the strength to be hiding the problem any longer. I figured the best I could do is try to introduce her to it so at least it won't be a shock when she sees me have an attack. Its bound to happen sooner or later." She hadn't expected that response and took a moment to assess her own. * So he really is getting worse? Perhaps I can help him relieve his stress… *

"So you're stress is getting worse?"

"Yes, it seems to be."

"Genki what are stress relieving activities for you?" He thought a moment before answering,

"Physical labor or exercise, helping others, sometimes cooking or playing a game works, cuddling can help…"

"Is sex a release for you?"

"It is yes… though I don't want you to feel you have to do that Granity. I would rather our intimacy come about naturally for you not out of some perceived need on my part. I can masturbate if I need to…" He kept his voice soft, he honestly was still unsure of this though he was enjoying the companionship. Granity wasn't ready for sex yet, she understood he didn't want her to feel any pressure to bed him. * He is a sweetheart, Holly really missed out on a great man by rejecting him. *

"Would companionship help?" He nodded,

"Yes just being with someone helps."

"How about I stay with you then? We can slowly learn more about each other as things progress. I'm more than willing to cuddle with you; I could use that as well."

"You want to feel safe don't you?" Granity nodded,

"Yes, Holly tries… but she can't quite give me the security I need. Yes I feel safe with her but even relaxing like this leads to arousal for her. It makes everything difficult between us actually. I really need to be held, to cuddle with someone for a while so I too can relax." Granity blushed at her confession, Genki wore a smile now. He pulled her closer to him and leaned his head down to kiss her forehead.

"As long as you don't mind my crazy schedule you are welcome to stay. I will warn you, I seem to be a drama magnet. Something is always happening unexpectedly in my life. I never know when I will get a surprise." She chuckled at this,

"I don't mind at all Genki, I want to see how your life is in your world. I promise I won't interfere with your normal activities, I just want to spend time together." He smiled and nodded to her,

"Then you are welcome to stay, I'll be sure to show you some other things this week so you have something to do while I'm at work. Though I suspect you will spend some time with Holly, the timing could get weird for that. Remember there is over a 12 hour time difference between worlds." Granity nodded, she had noticed the time issues before though she hadn't realized they were that far off. Granity hesitated a moment before asking her next question,

"Genki… would you allow me to stay with you tonight?" Genki glanced her way with a brow raised at that inquiry. He hadn't counted on her being so forward, * though she had always been blunt… *

"I don't see an issue with it if you need some company. I honestly could use the companionship right now."

"I just didn't want to cause any issues if you need to relieve yourself or anything…" He shook his head,

"Honestly my sex drive is pretty much nonexistent at the moment. If my depression kicks up my drive goes down. As long as my emotional state is this way I won't be really that interested in physical actives like that. It's one of the side effects of my disorders, it's something I have learned to deal with over the years." Granity was unsure of how to respond to that, she hadn't really thought much about how his body reacted to his mental problems. She realized that perhaps she needed to understand more about his specific disorders.

"Do you still feel up to teaching me?"

"You mean that trick about subtle signs?"

"Yeah."

"I do yes… We can do that now if you want."

"I didn't want to keep you up if you are tired…"

"I'm fine, I slept most of the day actually." he noticed her surprised look but didn't elaborate, "one of the things you need to do is pay attention to my breathing. Between that, having the hand your not using near my heart to feel my heart beat and watching how my body reacts you should be able to tell if I like what you are doing or not. I won't tell you if I do but if you come to a conclusion and ask if it's right I will verify it for you."

"How am I supposed to touch you though? I've never used touch as a turn on…" He smiled, moving his hand to her arm, he ghosted his finger tips over her arm. Her reaction was instant, she gasped and shivered under his touch. He alternated between the pads and the tips of his fingers, just lightly caressing. She closed her eyes, her body shuttering under his touch again. * If this feels this good on my arm… the rest of my body would be unbelievable. *

"The whole point of sensation play is to create unique sensations for your partner to enjoy. Sometimes extremely light touches do the trick, but for other parts of the body a firm touch can do the same. Knowing where and when to alternate touches is key but it's also something you find out while exploring. Everyone reacts differently to touch, it's best to just let them tell you how they feel." He moved his fingers over her shoulder in a circular pattern making her sigh, soon his finger tips traced her collar bone, a moan of pleasure followed this action. He smiled seeing her reactions, he always enjoyed pleasuring another it was another reason he was submissive. He continued to touch her for a little bit, letting her enjoy herself. He knew some of this could become arousing for her but he was trying to keep it purely pleasureful rather that arousing.

"So it's mostly about exploring your partner then?" she felt her breath hitch as he brushed over her neck.

"Yes, I want you to explore slowly, watch and listen. You'll know what I like if you do." He saw her nod and he stopped his touches. She seemed slightly out of breath,

"That was rather arousing…"

"I wasn't trying to arouse you. Though I realize some of the areas I touched apparently are very sensual for you. That varies from person to person, what areas are sensual as opposed to relaxing." She smiled,

"I will try my best to learn from you, don't make it easy for me OK? Holly is going to be difficult so I'm going to need to learn this." He nodded, he sat up briefly and removed his shirt, tossing it into the basket near by. He lay back down as she looked over his upper body, a smirk formed on her face as she lean over and kissed him briefly. "You look great without your shirt on…" He chuckled,

"You should have seen how red Holly got when she saw me."

"Oh I can imagine she was a cherry, this would definitely arouse her." She laughed, her hand then gently came to rest on his right peck. Slowly she began to caress him there, she noticed he had closed his eyes. Slowly she traced over his muscles with the tips of her fingers. She noticed that his breath hitched when her fingers traced over his abdomen. Slowly she played with this location, listening to his breathing and seeing his flesh shutter from the sensations. Once she was certain of this area she moved her finger tips back up to his pecks. Changing to the pads of her fingers yielded a better reaction here. * I get it… each location needs a different sensation… * she decided to trace around his nipples, she only got a small reaction to that. She tilted her head trying to figure him out, soon she pressed down and rubbed his nipples, his body shivered and his breath hitched again. He didn't moan but she figured he wanted to. She played with his nipples a little longer noticing how his body reacted, she then moved to his arms. A feather light touch on his shoulders seemed to work here. After exploring for awhile, she spoke to him. "You said you'd verify my conclusions?"

"Yes, I will." She traced her way slowly to his abdomen again, he shuttered under her touch.

"You really like being touched this way here, it's probably arousing for you." He nodded,

"Correct, though a light touch is not the only thing that works in that location." she tilted her head again, carefully she changed her touch to something more firm, she could hear a change in his breathing. * Ah I get it now. A feather light touch is arousing and a firm touch is relaxing… I should explore each location better… *

"I understand… I wasn't thinking about the different types of sensations."

"I figured you missed it. That's why I nudged you a bit. You seem to be doing well though." she moved her fingers back to his nipples to firmly play with them.

"This arouses you?" he nodded,

"Very much so."

"Did the lighter touch do anything for you here?"

"Yes, it's more of a playful sensual touch rather than arousing."

"I think I understand." Her fingers continued to move over him for a little while longer, she found that the base of his neck was sensual and arousing for him. After a little while she told him her other conclusions, he confirmed or denied each as they went. After while he looked over at her smiling,

"If you do this with Holly I think you will be able to get her off easier."

"You may be right, thank you for teaching me… you really did make it hard. I know you were resisting even the physical response your body had."

"I was trying, but it's been awhile since I've been touched this way. It was extremely difficult to resist."

"Will you let me hear your full response now?" He smirked,

"Wanting to see how good you truly are at this huh?"

"I want to hear that I'm pleasing you…" he could see the yearning in her eyes, he nodded.

"I won't hold back any longer, though I would suggest waiting a few minutes before you begin again. Let me body relax first." She nodded, instead she leaned over and kissed him again, he moaned slightly. Caught off guard by her once again as she slowly made out with him. He returned the kiss with equal vigor, * Damn if I wasn't so emotional right now I would be so hard on for her. Everything she does arouses me… though perhaps that is more to do with a lack of sex on my part then just her doing it. * after a bit she pulled back, he smiled to her as she began to touch him again. He moaned as her fingers traced over his body. His eyes closed again, as he let her explore once more. * If she is this good at just touching me… sex will be mind blowing… * Granity enjoyed his moans of pleasure, though she noticed he wasn't erect. Remembering what he said before she wondered if his depression had suppressed his physical arousal as well. Shrugging the thoughts off she turned her attention to exploring and pleasuring him.

* If I can get Holly moaning like this… it will make things so much easier. * She continued for another ten minutes before she turned her touch soothing again. Laying down with him she helped him relax by gently massaging his muscles. "Genki thank you so much…"

"It was my pleasure, let me know if Holly gives you any trouble." he felt her nod, his body was still sparking from the sensations he had felt.

"Does the depression suppress your physical arousal?"

"It can at times yes."

"What about now?"

"It was suppressing it to a degree… I'm about half hard actually." he confessed, though he hadn't really thought about an erection since the touches got more pleasureful.

"Do you feel any better?"

"Emotionally?" she nodded, "Yes a bit better actually. I will confess I really enjoy being touched Granity, it helps me. Laying here with you is also helping, I have felt so alone lately… I think it's been making my depression and stress worse."

"Then I'm glad I asked to sleep next to you tonight. We both need companionship right now… I have needed to be with someone for awhile. You're not the only one feeling alone or scared."

"I take it Holly can't help with this?"

"She is too worried about the others finding out about us making love to let me stay with her at night. The only time I stayed with her was during my mental break down…. When the others thought nothing of it. You know same sex relationships are almost unheard of in our world right?"

"I know yes, but I also know that Holly is bisexual. She needs to be able to express that side of herself without fear. That's why I had no issue giving you a safe place to do that in this world. I would have suggested it myself if you hadn't. She's suppressed way too much of herself to conform to society. It needs to stop before she hurts herself even more." Granity felt a warmth in her heart she hadn't felt before at his words, a few tears fell from her eyes as she cuddled into him more. He pulled her closer, he may not know why she was crying but he understood she needed him right now. He also knew sometimes words could unexpectedly have an emotional impact, he had felt it many times in the past himself. * He truly does love her… I can't imagine how much pain it caused him to feel being so in love yet unable to tell her… to be with her… Holly… you are such a fool. * after awhile she seemed to calm down,

"Sorry for the water works…" she mumbled,

"It's fine, you don't need to apologize."

"It's weird… I normally am not this emotional…"

"It's because you feel safe. I'm glad you feel safe with me and can express yourself. Don't worry about your emotions, just relax and let them go. You know I won't judge you for them Granity." She smiled, she understood what he meant now. She rested with him for a bit just enjoying being in his arms, his hand gently stroking her side. He shifted, rising to sit up now.

"I need relieve myself, I'll be back in a moment. After that how about we both get some rest?" he smiled to her and she nodded in response. He retreated to the bathroom closing the door as she got up and turned down the covers. Climbing in she lay there thinking over what had happened this evening. * Honestly I never thought he'd open up to me so easily… I thought it would be a struggle… perhaps it's because he is so exhausted. He can't hide it any longer; he needed to release it, to talk it out. I guess he decided to trust me with his heart and hope for the best. I will cherish that trust… though I do wonder… could he ever trust Holly again. He loves her deeply, it's obvious. * she sighed, she was so frustrated with Holly right now, * Seriously he is such a loving and gentle guy…. Yet she threw away his love instead of confiding in him. He could have helped her through her fear… I understand now why he feels he can't trust her, why he no longer believes in her. I can't say as I blame him… she still fears being herself at home… fears rejection. * she heard him returning and smiled seeing him in his boxers. * My his whole body is in great shape… * he climbed back into bed with her and turned the light out after setting his alarm. He shifted to hold her once more as she cuddled with him, gentle he kissed her. She let him do as he pleased, their kiss remained gentle though it lasted for a few minutes. He seemed to relax with her even more as he settled into sleep.

"Good night Granity, sweet dreams."

"You too love." he chuckled at this pet name, his hand moving to soothingly stroke her side again. She let herself drift off in his arms, feeling safe for the first time in a long time. He smiled in the darkness and he closed his eyes. * I never imagined she would need me this way… I feel privileged to be able to assist her like this. It's something I will cherish, she is definitely very special to me even if the love I feel is different from what I have felt for others. I can't even imagine what the future holds, she always seems to surprise me with something new and unexpected. I can only hope I can help her heal these old wounds, she deserves to be free of this pain. The Kami have defiantly blessed me this day… * he let his mind relax as a feeling a peace fell over him. He would sleep well tonight despite what was happening in his life.

---

AAN: I hope you all are enjoy it so far. More to come soon, I'm trying to bounce back to MOTH too and get another chapter of that done as well.