AAN: More angst this chapter. It's still going to be a little bit before main pair get together but this needs to happen to set that up. I promise there will be some humor scattered about these chapters to off set the heaviness.

Overload

When Genki woke in the morning he felt much better, he found Granity snuggled up against him still. He relaxed just enjoying having her by his side; he hadn't slept this well in a long time. She truly was a god send right now, exactly who he needed to help him. * I never realized how much we have in common until now… perhaps we truly need each other to recover from our pain. I will definitely confide in her after my visit today… it's going to be incredibly hard on me. I just hope I can push any attacks off and not need my medication for it. I hate that stuff even more than the anti-depressants. * he decided to just relax until his alarm went off, he hadn't felt this good since he was Akame. Truly the loneliness had been getting to him, something he hadn't realized until now. * I guess she was right… I just can't be alone… that fear I can't face or conquer. * After a bit his thoughts drifted to Holly, he had avoided talking about what happened since that day. Yes he had spoken to Akame but he never felt like he could truly tell her everything. Akame understood his feelings and why he had almost given up on life, she understood many things about him. But there were somethings she couldn't understand; yes she now believed Holly was his soulmate, but what she didn't see was that the gaping wound in his heart had never healed. It had festered over the years, becoming increasingly more painful. It was to the point now that just thinking about the event or talk with her about such topics could send him into an attack. He knew this wasn't healthy, it shouldn't be having this type of effect on him years later; but it was and there was little he could do about it at this point. * My only hope now is to try talking with Granity… if I can't then… there is no point anymore to pretending I'm OK being around Holly. It's becoming too painful; I want her to be able to live her life the way she wants. I don't want her to feel so guilty about what she did to me that she chains herself to me out of obligation. I couldn't live with myself if that happened… she had been chained up her whole life… unable to truly express herself. It needs to stop before she has problems.* he felt Granity beginning to wake, her hand moving over his abdomen once more, she seemed to like touching him sensually. Perhaps it was just a thing her breed drifted towards, they were very sensual creatures after all.

"Morning, you sleep well?" he spoke softly, she stretched and yawned. A soft smile gracing her lips as her eyes found his.

"Very well, thank Genki. I haven't felt this safe in a long time." He smiled in return, his hand moving to caress her side gently, she sighed under his touch. He had realized that touch played an important role in her relationships based on her reactions the prior night.

"I'm glad I could provide that for you."

"What about you? Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, better than usual." he felt her caress him again, a soft moan escaping his lips as she did.

"I'm glad." She leaned over him now, letting their lips meet. His other hand came up to her jaw to caress her face. Their kiss slowly became deeper and more heated, his own long suppressed desires rising slightly. His mood brighter today than is was yesterday, his emotions more relaxed even though he hadn't worked through everything yet. Granity pulled back after a minute, she was panting her eyes showing a playful side to them. "I see you are a bit more frisky this morning." she smirked at him, he chuckled trying to catch his own breath.

"I suppose I am. It's probably because I'm so relaxed at the moment." she smiled again to him, it was obvious it made her happy that she could help him this way. "I will probably need your help after I see my brother." She nodded, moving to rest her forehead against his.

"I will be happy to help. Will you be OK until you get back?"

"I should be yes, we'll see how long I'm OK once I get back though. I'd rather not use my pills if I don't have to." she frowned a that,

"Is your stress that bad?"

"Not right now but I bet it will be by the time I return… This will be very hard for me…" She moved to lay down on top of him now, holding him close. Her breath tingling the skin of his neck. Even though it was only her upper body on his he could feel the effect it was having on him. * I seriously need to masturbate later… maybe when I shower I can manage it. I'm way too sensitive right now to my desire. *

"I will do everything I can to help you."

"I know you will. I plan to do some yoga before I leave, it should help center my emotions so I can handle things for while."

"Yoga?"

"It's a type of exercise routine that is all about energy manipulation and controlling ones breathing. I find it helps me focus and recenter after I have a rough day." She was silent a moment before asking,

"Could I watch? I'd like to learn how you handle your problems." He smirked, part of him knew she was curious about how life was in this world, but she also wanted to know more about him specifically.

"I don't mind you watching. I can teach you a little about it later this week if you like."

"Thanks, I don't want to burden you though."

"You aren't, I feel better with you here… it's been a long time since I've been able to freely talk to someone about how I feel. I thank you for that, it means a lot to me." He felt her shift now, she was still on him but her eyes were searching his again. For what he wasn't sure,

"You still love Holly don't you?" Her voice was soft but the question made his eyes widen. He hadn't expected this topic to come up. He sighed, his first instinct was to break eye contact but he didn't he knew what she was looking for now. Looking deep into her concerned eyes and nodded,

"I do yes… I have never stopped loving her despite everything that has happened. Apart of me wanted to at one point… to resent her for what she did to me but I couldn't." he could see his words had an impact, she smiled sadly to him.

"You know she never got over you either right?" He gave a short bitter laugh at that,

"I know she never moved on… I do question how much she actually loved me though…"

"What do you mean?"

"Yesterday when we were talking about Suezo, she said she had to try because she loved him. Yet… she refused to try at all when it came to me. Her words hurt, it implies that she never really loved me. Perhaps I'm being too sensitive due to my emotional state…" he shook his head closing his eyes, it really had hurt to hear her speak those words. He had never expected such a simple statement to hurt so much, but it had stung to his core. He hated to think he had been led on the whole time, that she had only lusted for him. * No… she has never been that vain… if it was lust she would have wanted more… we never even really kissed for heavens sake. * he dismissed his thoughts on that but it did little to lessen the sting.

Granity was having a hard time explaining that herself, she could see why it had hurt him. Why he felt that Holly had never truly loved him, but she didn't believe that to be true herself. She knew Holly did love him deep down. Whether that had ever truly been romantic love? Well that was up for debate at this point. * He is extremely sensitive to words and phrasing of things. Overly sensitive? Possibly but given how much pain he's in I can hardly blame him. I see now why he was never able to recover on his own. I need the have a heart to heart with her, this isn't just about his suicide attempt anymore. His heart is still hurting bad, if handled incorrectly… he might relapse. * Granity sighed before she very gently caressed his cheek. She knew he was holding tears back, she could see it in his expression.

"Let it go Genki… holding the pain in won't help." She spoke softly, leaning her forehead against his again. After a few minutes he relented letting the tears fall, silently letting his pain go. Granity continued to be affectionate with him while he cried. * I really believe he took the brunt of the pain that day… Holly never felt this torn up. I need to see if she truly loves him romantically… if she doesn't then perhaps keeping her distance is best. He needs romantic love to heal… * She resolved to get to the bottom of Holly's emotions, knowing if she didn't this would never get resolved correctly. * I only hope that Holly will understand… I know he doesn't want her to know about his other issues… but if she doesn't know then worse things could happen. After all we have been putting stress on him without realizing it's impact. Perhaps I can balance things between them. They both hide their true feelings, afraid of each other. Holly will have to make the leap of trust this time, he responded to me well when I took a chance on him. I can only hope he might be willing to try if she does the same… but the question still remains could he ever trust her with his heart again? I know he's terrified of the prospect of opening up to her again. * She frowned, she hated to think that he too would succumb to fear but at least he had a real reason to be afraid. Holly was only panicking over something that might happen. She dismissed this * No he is strong enough to push past his fear but what would it take for him to be willing to do so… I need to ask. I can't guess at this, I need to know what it would take for him to forgive her and be willing to try again. * After Genki's tears stopped and he seemed to calm back down she gently kissed him. He responded to her, needing the love she was willing to give him. After a few moments they parted and she spoke softly, "You feeling any better?"

"Yes, thank you… you were right I needed to release it."

"Perhaps later we can discuss this further. I won't stress you out before you visit your brother any further. I hadn't realized how this would stress you."

"Its fine, I know why you asked." he hadn't bothered to open his eyes; he did feel like moving just yet anyway.

"Can I ask one more thing of you?" He nodded, "What would it take for you to be able to trust Holly enough to try and rebuild things between you?" he looked confused now,

"Do you mean trust her with my heart?"

"Yes, what would it take for you to be able to do so?" He sighed heavily; it was a fair question on her part. One he hadn't even thought of really, he had long given up on such a relationship.

"I'm not sure… I've never really thought about it…"

"Why haven't you?"

"I let her go… though it hurts I accepted that I had lost her years ago." She hadn't expected that answer, frowning she tried to think of what to do now. * Damn… he accepted her answer and gave up entirely… * Quickly she thought of something,

"Genki I want you to do a little exercise with me. For a moment I want you to pretend Holly realized her mistake and changed her mind. What would it take for her to prove to you that she is serious and she will never hurt you like that again? What would it take for her to prove her love to you?" Genki's expression told her he wasn't thrilled with this exercise, but he seemed to be thinking it over. * I hope this works; I need to have an answer to work with. There has to be a way to get them together again… well if Holly's love is romantic in nature anyway… * for his part he was trying to imagine what he would need as proof. The question of whether she loved him remained but he pushed that aside for now. Instead he focused on the scenario he had been given. * What would it take? That's a good question. Trust has to be slowly rebuilt… yet Granity got me to open up easily… what would make me feel safe with Holly? * As he thought he realized the answer was obvious but wouldn't be easy for her.

"Hypothetically, if she were to realize her mistake and change her mind she would have to pursue me. If she wants to court then she will have to initiate it." He sighed, "The trust is another issue entirely…. The only thing I can think of that would be proof to me, after being lead on like I was, is for her to be completely vulnerable to me. Being willing to share things with me that she wouldn't with anyone else. If she can open her heart to me in that way and be willing to take a chance on getting hurt herself like I did. Then and only then could I attempt to trust her again." Though he understood why Granity had asked, he doubted that Holly would change her mind. Right now Holly would be acting out of guilt not out of love. "Granity… I want to be clear on this. I will not accept forced love. I know she will feel guilty over what happened, especially now that she is aware of my 'issues'. I do not want her to shackle herself to me out of guilt or some perceived obligation. It wouldn't make me feel any better about things if she did. If she doesn't love me that's fine, I want her to be true to herself." He felt Granity hold him again, resting her forehead against his once more. She understood him,

"I will make sure her love is true first Genki. I understand why you don't want her to act out of guilt. Please trust me with this, I will help both of you find closure." He lay still for a moment then slowly his hand moved to caress her side again,

"I trust you Granity." his voice was soft but he knew she heard him. After a moment he shifted to kiss her. His other hand on her jaw holding her there as he made out with her. Granity responded in kind, understanding his need for affection. When he parted from her he whispered, "Thank you…"

"Any time Genki, I want you to heal." after a few more minutes of comfortable silence his alarm went off startling them both. He chuckled and turned it off, looking over at her with a smile.

"We should get up, I need to get a few things done before I head out. You should probably call over and see if you can meet up with Holly. It will be rather late for her with the time difference." She nodded,

"You're right, I'm hoping she won't mind a late night jump." He chuckled at her comment,

"I'm sure she will be fine with it. Hopefully no one else has any issues with it. I'd rather not have to have another discussion with a certain eyeball right now." This made her laugh, as she could hear the annoyance in his voice.

"I would hope not after you dragged him off the other day. It was hilarious to see him flailing around trying to get loose. I have no clue how you had such a good hold on him." Her eyes shined with amusement as he smirked,

"That is my secret but I'm happy I made some amusement for everyone." He rose and walked to his closet to grab some clothes for the day.

Granity excused herself and went downstairs so he would have some privacy. She decided it was best to get her call over with now before they ate.

Turning the device on she took a deep breath before turning the microphone on.

"Hey guys is Holly still up?" it took a moment for them to respond, Hare apparently had heard her.

"Yeah she is. You need her?"

"If you would please Hare." there was silence for a moment, Genki wandered down stairs while she waited. He noticed what she was doing but left her to it. Instead he went about getting somethings together to make breakfast.

"Granity what did you need?" Holly's voice sounded both tired and confused, Genki took note of it but remained silent.

"I need to have a quick chat with you. Can you bounce over while Genki is off seeing his brother?" Holly seemed to debate this a moment,

"I probably can though I'm not sure if I can stay awake for very long to be honest."

"It shouldn't take long and if you need I'm sure you can take a nap before you return. I doubt Genki will mind." She glanced over at him to see him nod to her question.

"I don't want to impose…" Genki rolled his eyes and indicated for Granity to turn on the mic.

"Holly it's not imposing if it was offered. If you can't jump tonight that's fine. Wait till later and I'll let you two have the room down stairs for your discussion. I need to meditate tonight anyway." Granity gave him a look that said he would be explaining later. He smiled and winked at her making her laugh at him while he went back to making breakfast. After a few minutes Holly responded,

"Alright, I can jump in around 40 minutes. Will that work?"

"That will be just fine. See you then." Granity smirked, and glanced to Genki who merely raised a brow at her expression. After she turned off the device she moved to the table, Genki had already made his coffee and sat some out for her as well. Once he finished with the crepes he was making he brought them over to the table. "You are definitely a chef at heart." He chuckled at her comment,

"It's something that I find relaxing. I've gotten really good at several things just because they are relaxing for me."

"I'm glad you found some nice hobbies." they ate in relative silence but both were content with it. Granity decided to ask about his meditation later, knowing he already had a lot on his mind right now.

"Can you open the portal on your own or will you need my help?"

"I remember most of it… but I'd feel better if you were there to make sure I got it." He nodded his confirmation.

"I understand, I will stay till she arrives safely then."

"It's the same procedure to send her back right?"

"Yes, though from the sounds of it she might have to take a nap first."

"Yeah I gathered that from her voice. I won't let her leave half-awake don't worry." he nodded,

"You said you want to know more about my disorders right?"

"Yes, I do. I want to be able to help you." he nodded,

"I'm going to give you two books then. They should help you understand things a bit better. The other one was more of an overview. These delve into specifics of each disorder. They are more complex but it's my hope that you will understand most of what they teach." Granity nodded, she smiled to him as his eyes became unfocused for a moment. She tilted her head slightly in confusion; unsure of what he was thinking of now.

"Are you alright?" he shook his head,

"Not really but there is little I can do about it for now. I will do my yoga and hopefully be OK for a bit."

"You're worried about your bother aren't you?"

"I am yes, but it will do me no good to worry needlessly. He is safe for now; the hospital has him under observation." He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was her. * Wait… he's using logic to push his anxiety back… I understand what he meant now. *

"You're right, he is safe with them watching over him." she smiled to him and he nodded appreciating the help.

After they finished their meal Genki lead her down to his library where the pulled two books off the shelf.

"This one talks about depression." he handed her a blue and purple colored book, "and this one is about anxiety." he handed her a brown hard cover book. "They both are very detailed so I would take it slow. There is no rush on finishing them. I'd rather you understand what is said than to blow through them rapidly." She nodded,

"I will take my time. If I have questions I'll be sure to ask." he nodded and smiled to her, she could see this meant a lot to him.

"I will answer what I can, even with my resources I don't always have an answer." she chuckled at him,

"I don't expect you to know everything Genki." he nodded chuckling in return,

"I suppose not. I need to head upstairs again, the room I use for yoga and meditation is upstairs." He saw her nod. She placed the books on a side table near a chair she would use later. He walked out of the room with her following closely. She looked confused by his meditation and yoga room. It made him chuckle again, * Well it definitely isn't something the monster world knows about that's for sure.* he had never heard of yoga or meditation being mentioned in their world so he knew they likely didn't practice it.

"So is it made this way to be relaxing?"

"Yes, it's meant to be a calming room. Like I said I will explain more later, right now why don't you have a seat over there?" He pointed to a small window seat. She did so as he walked to the middle of the room. Though he usually preferred to do this in just his underwear he would do it clothed this time. "I practice Hatha Yoga which is designed to help reduce stress in the body. If you get really curious before I explain there is a book on it in my library." She nodded as he began his routine. He focused on his breath moving with fluid, practiced ease to each position. He was only doing a short routine for now. He didn't have time for a full one, plus he didn't want to exert himself too much this morning. Some of the advanced moves required a lot more flexibility then he could muster in his jeans and t shirt. Granity remained silent just observing, * He is defiantly controlling his breath a lot with this… it does seem to be releasing his tension somehow. Perhaps it does manipulate his inner energy. I will definitely have to check out that book… though I will focus on his anxiety first. That seems to be the most pressing issue. * She suddenly sweat dropped seeing Genki balancing on one foot with the other straight out and his hands forward. * how on earth is he doing that and staying upright? * She tried to stay quiet for him despite the weird poses. * If I ever did this… I would not want anyone watching… these poses are far too embarrassing even for me. * Once Genki finished his routine he glanced over to see her in deep thought. She smiled upon noticing him finished with his yoga.

"Was that a full routine?"

"No, but I can't do the full thing right now." she nodded, "I will do some later this week so you can see the full thing. I believe we have a few minutes before Holly jumps across." He walked to the door and waited for her to follow. She soon found herself in the office, she carefully turned the devices on in the order that she could remember. He smiled seeing her get familiar with such technology. She could see Holly waiting on the platform, she looked exhausted.

"I am so getting her to take a nap."

"Defiantly… she looks like she is about to pass out." Granity quickly pressed the button when Hare hit the unlock switch. "You didn't even need me it seems." Genki smiled to her looking rather proud of her. Granity return the smile as they both waited for Holly. When Holly finally came through she landed awkwardly. She was a bit more awake now but hadn't caught herself well. Genki grabbed hold of her and pulled her to her feet, "Are you alright?" Holly nodded though she still seemed a bit out of it.

"Yeah I think so…" She noticed Genki seemed concerned still but didn't say anything else.

"You seriously look like you are about to pass out. You could have told me that you were exhausted." Granity scolded her as she helped her walk to the kitchen. Genki followed behind, he walk to the counter, grabbing a new mug from the cupboard he filled it with coffee. He brought it over to Holly,

"If you are insisting on staying awake I'd recommend drink some of that. It will temporarily wake you up." Holly accepted the cup and took a sip while Granity gave him a look that said 'why did you do that?'. He smiled in response, making Granity roll her eyes.

"You sure you can manage a conversation right now?"

"I'll be fine in a minute Granity." Holly smiled to her sincerely,

"I will be heading out now, feel free to make more coffee if you need it. I should be back in a few hours with any luck." He walked to where his phone was and began to gather his things.

"Make sure you don't over stress yourself." Granity said in a serious tone,

"Don't worry, I promise I'll be able to make it back here just fine." he smiled to her as he threw his coat on and walked out the door. She heard the lock click as he went; soon he drove off towards the hospital leaving the two ladies alone.

Holly looked at Granity rather confused, * She must have gotten more out of him based on that comment. * She decided to see what Granity had needed, "What did you need to talk to me about?"

"Many things actually. You awake enough to remember things yet?" Holly nodded,

"I am the coffee seems to be working. I take it he told you about his issues based on your comment to him?" Granity stared at her a moment before laughing,

"Yep you are definitely awake." she then nodded, "Yes he told me about all of them. He also mentioned that he would probably not be in the best of shape after his visit with his brother. That why I was concerned." Holly seemed intrigued now,

"Am I allowed to know about the other issues?"

"You are though you need to keep them to yourself for now. I believe he will tell the others later once he is feeling a bit better. Right now he's a bit overwhelmed with everything. Though I was able to get him to relax this morning a bit, it seemed to help."

"Another massage?"

"That was last night, but yes it helped. I stayed with him last night, it seemed to relax him. Before you ask, no we were not intimate. He isn't ready for that yet and neither am I."

"Companionship then? Like you first did with me?"

"Yes, exactly that." she nodded as she decided how to approach the other topics. * For phoenixes sake I'm so bad at delicate conversations… * She sighed finally giving up on being tactful, "As far as his other issues go there are two others beyond his depression."

"Couldn't find a tactful way to go about this I see…." Holly gave her a playful smirk making Granity sigh again and nod. "What are the other two?" Holly seemed mildly amused by Granity's lack of tact but the concern shown through her features, she was still very worried about Genki.

"Anxiety and Chronic Stress Disorder." She could see Holly looking surprised at this reveal, "I was surprised as well, though I figured out the anxiety before he told me. He confirmed it stating that his wasn't as bad as his brothers. His trigger point is higher and more specific."

"It makes sense now why he feels like he should help his brother so much…"

"It does yes, though his brother doesn't seem to be able to fight it." Granity could see she was thinking things over now, "Remember when I told you that whole domination thing was rooted in his issues?"

"Yeah… you said you suspected it was at the time."

"It was, Genki told me he used the domination to push his anxiety back. Akame was fully aware of his issues and was helping him deal with them." Holly looked startled by that revelation,

"Does that mean he needs that?"

"I'm not sure, but I know he was using it at one point. He has other methods. He was doing some Yoga before you arrived, it seemed to help him deal with his stress fairly well. He also got into cooking for that reason, for him it's relaxing."

"He's doing stress management… he mentioned it when he spoke of his brother."

"Exactly, he's been doing it the whole time. None of us realized what he was doing though."

"Are we stressing him?"

"Sort of… he hasn't really said much about it but he is definitely stressed right now. The only thing I got out of him about it was when he found out that Tiger was confronting you." Holly looked surprised by this, then concerned about his knowledge.

"So he knows?" Granity nodded, "is he willing to talk to me?"

"He is yes but not right now. He asked me to get you to wait until after you guys deal with Suezo. He said he could only handle one thing at a time right now. If you try to do this now he stated that will have an anxiety attack. He said he will talk to you as soon as he can manage it without having and attack." She could see the worry in Holly's eyes now,

"We are over stressing him…" Granity sighed,

"Not exactly… part of this is built up stress that he has not been able to release. I plan to help him unwind as much as I can." She could see the confusion in the other woman's eyes, "Remember when I said his anxiety was specific?" she saw Holly nod, "Well certain topics seem to set his anxiety off more than others. In this case the topic that seems to be the hardest for him…"

"Our fight… because of what I did to him…"

"Unfortunately yes… it seems to cause his stress to rise pretty quickly. I made a few suggestions to see if I could help. He said he would try, but wasn't sure they would help."

"Can he even talk about it?"

"We aren't sure… that was one of my suggestions. I asked him if he could talk to me about it, if it would help him deal with things. He told me he wasn't sure if it would help but he would try. We haven't spoken on that topic yet, though I did asking him a couple of questions this morning… It will defiantly be a slow process."

"I take it he reacted badly?"

"No… but he was distressed. He seemed to be willing to try though and he did relax after a bit." Holly sighed,

"After Tiger told me about his suicide attempt and depression…. I decided to read up on it. I realize now I made a huge mistake in how I handled my own fear… and how I told him no that day. I know I can't fix what's already done…" She closed her eyes shaking her head, "I wouldn't be surprised if he wants nothing to do with me now…" Granity could see the remorse and guilt in the woman's posture. * Let's see if she loves him that way or not *

"He doesn't hate you Holly, he never has. I asked him about it this morning, he said at one point he wanted to resent you for what happened but he couldn't. He still loves you, that hasn't changed despite what he has gone through." Holly looked up startled,

"Are you certain he said that?"

"Yes, though I do have a question for you." Holly seemed confused now,

"What is it?"

"Do you still love him?" Holly looked taken aback but nodded,

"I do yes; I never stopped loving him despite my fear. I tried to push it aside and forget it… to change it to something platonic… it never seemed to work though."

"Then it is romantic love?"

"Yes, it always has been… I realize it should have been enough to keep my fear at bay. I really don't know what happened that day, why I was so afraid…" she closed he eyes, "thinking back it seems so surreal now… how I reacted that day. I could see Genki's pain yet it didn't change my fear or words… like I wasn't really me that day…" Granity raised a brow at this, that made no sense to her but perhaps Genki would understand. * Could Holly have a mental problem as well or am I missing something? *

"Earlier he told me your words yesterday hurt… when you said you would try to talk with Suezo, that you had to because you loved him. He took it as an implication that you didn't love him…" Holly's eyes shown with both pain and guilt now, * Did I really say that? Yes, I did… it completely implies that I never loved him. No wonder he had been so distant lately. He's been reading into everything I say. *

"Granity… is there any way I can prove to him that I do love him?"

"Are you serious about being with him this time?" Holly nodded, looking determined.

"I am yes; I won't make the same mistake again."

"You aren't doing this out of guilt are you?" Holly shook her head,

"No… I wouldn't lie to him like that. He has been hurt enough; I just want to show him what I truly felt all this time."

"Show me Holly." Holly looked stunned a moment at that simple request but then nodded getting her meaning. Holly reached over and took Granity's hand, concentrating she opened her heart to the pixie breed, letting Granity feel her emotions. After a moment Granity smiled, * She does really love him… I hope this time it's enough to make them both happy. * "I understand, and yes there is a way for you to prove it. It won't be easy for you but it can be done. Just remember that his heart never healed, you will need to move slowly to get him to trust you again." Holly nodded; she was paying close attention to what Granity told her.

"It's still an open wound for him?"

"Yes, I believe it never healed at all. That's why he's so stressed just by the topic."

"It makes sense…"

"I will do what I can for him on my side, but I can't heal his heart completely. I can't give him what he truly needs."

"You mean closure?"

"Not just that, romantic love. He feels alone, it's one of the reasons I stayed by his side last night."

"What do I need to do?"

"Firstly, you are going to have to initiate it if you want to court him. At this point he won't try to; I'd wait till after you apologize to him and ask for forgiveness. Let him have some time between topics to think. If he seems OK with talking about more than do so carefully." She saw Holly nod, "He told me that the only way he could start to rebuild his trust with you, is you would need to be fully open with him. If you can make yourself completely vulnerable to him and trust that he won't hurt you; then he could start to open up again." Holly looked a bit surprised but then nodded,

"That makes sense I guess…" She closed her eyes,

"Take it slow, there's no rush. I'm more concerned about reopening his wound and causing a relapse. You will need to be very careful with how you approach this Holly."

"I understand, the last thing I want is to hurt him again. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt him anymore." She paused thinking for a moment, "What should I do first though? You know it's hard for me to share some things…" Granity looked thoughtful a moment,

"Have you ever told him why you don't talk about sex much?" Holly's eyes snapped open now; she was defiantly caught off guard. She took a deep breath and shook her head,

"No… I only said it was very private for me."

"Start with that then, it's something he doesn't know about you. It would help him understand you in the long run." Holly blushed like mad now,

"I'll try it… that topic is extremely hard for me…"

"I know but you need to talk about it. I'm sure Genki can help you; perhaps he even knows why it bothers you on such a deep level. He seems to look into that kind of thing." Granity shrugged, "But it would prove to him how serious you are… plus you could always mention your relationships. It's not like he knows if you ever really dated, he is just assuming you did." Holly nodded, * I guess she is right… I wanted to know more about his dating life… perhaps sharing my own would help. Still the sexual things will be hard to talk about without getting aroused… *

"I will try talking with him about those things first I guess… I may need your help later though…"

"Oh I will help you if you need. I know it arouses you to talk about sex, I'll be happy to help you relax after the fact."

"I feel like we are burdening him by asking for a room here just for that."

"We aren't. I asked him earlier, he said he has no problem with it and it's not a burden as long as he can do what he needs to do." She shrugged, "besides, he wants you to be true to yourself." Holly looked confused,

"What are you talking about?"

"Holly, you are bisexual. We both know it, even if you won't admit to it. He already accepted that about you, and he wants you to be able to express that side of yourself without fear, to be true to yourself and not what everyone else expects."

"He said that?" Granity nodded as she saw tears beginning to fall from Holly's eyes. "I… I never thought anyone would accept that side me…" Granity smiled, she stood up and came to Holly's side to pull her into a hug. Holly sobbed into her shoulder as she let her emotions flow, * I think this is the first time I have seen her let her emotions out like this. She is so much like Genki and I. Always holding everything inside. * She just held her, knowing this was a lot of pent up emotion. It took several minutes for her to calm down. When she did Granity spoke softly,

"You know I accept that side of you too right. You have two people who fully accept it and neither of us have any issues with it Holly."

"I know… I didn't mean to discount you. Though it is easier for a pixie to accept that…" Granity chuckled,

"That's true since we are all female." She carefully wiped Holly's tears away, "But we do still find males to breed." She smirked as Holly blushed slightly,

"That may be true… but... do you think Tiger and the others could accept it? Or my father? They'd ask what is wrong with me… they didn't take well to Akame's girlfriend…" she looked distant for a moment.

"You told them about the same sex relationships here huh?"

"I did."

"How'd that go?"

"It went over like a lead balloon…. But my father did accept that this world was different. He stated that 'our morals may not be theirs'."

"Ouch…" Granity cringed at that implication, "I understand. Though at least you can be free here. I'm sure Akame and her girl would accept you." Holly nodded; she had no doubt that they would.

"I also tested the waters a bit. I am hoping Genki won't be upset with me for trying…"

"You didn't tell them about him did you?" Granity grew concerned,

"No, I'm not that brazen or stupid. He'd never forgive me for that." She shook her head, "I told them about his brother instead." Granity was relieved that she had tried using his brother as an example first. Still there was concern about their reaction to such a topic,

"How did that go?" Holly sighed,

"Sort of OK… at first Hare asked if his brother was insane though…"

"Oh boy…"

"Yeah... I corrected him and tried to explain everything to them."

"What was the end result?"

"Well my father decided that the disorders were only an issue if left untreated."

"Well at least that conclusion is a good one." Holly nodded,

"How they will react to Genki… I'm still not sure. After all they aren't thinking anything is wrong with him right now. They know about our fight… I confessed it to them. I hadn't realized you all blamed him for it that day. I would have told everyone sooner had I known." Granity looked a bit guilty then * perhaps I should have told her.*

"I should have told you… that was my fault."

"No… I should have noticed, if I hadn't been so selfish I would have seen the reactions you all had to him."

"So they understand now?"

"More or less… Suezo was pushing my buttons though. Was insulting both you and Genki. Saying Genki gets a good show when it came to Akame and her girlfriend… like he watches them be intimate. He also implied that you were being a whore…" Granity raised a brow at that, * Well isn't he being a little brat… *

"Don't let it get to you. He is just upset. I doubt Genki would care what he implied. He can think what he wants about me. It won't make it the truth. Though technically I am planning to sleep with Genki so… he's not far off." She chuckled making Holly look confused.

"Still you are not a whore. Even if you choose to sleep with Genki."

"No I'm not but I don't care what he thinks." Granity leaned forward and kissed Holly's forehead, "Don't worry so much about him. Things will be settled with him soon."

"We can only hope… he makes me so mad at times."

"I know… why don't we head down stairs. I'd like to help you unwind too." Holly was blushing like mad at that implication,

"Really you don't have to…"

"I want to Holly. You know I love you, I want to help you." Holly seemed reluctant for a moment then nodded,

"I really can't hide my own stress huh?"

"You can't; especially since you rarely masturbate."

"Oh like I can with two monsters with excellent hearing and a perverted eyeball around." Holly muttered under her breath. Granity laughed at this comment, it was valid but still funny to hear coming from Holly.

"That is very true." She gave Holly's hand a small tug and Holly followed her.

Once they reached the room Genki designated at theirs Granity closed the door. She gave Holly a seductive smile, which cause her partner to turn red once again. Granity pulled Holly into her arms holding her close. Her hand gently caressing Holly's back as she spoke to her.

"I have something new I'd like to try. Genki taught me how to do it the other night." Holly shivered as her lovers hand caressed her side,

"What did he teach you? I thought you hadn't had sex yet."

"We haven't but he taught me a bit about the whole sensation play he used to do. It's quite enjoyable." Holly was a bit confused now; she was trying to remember what that even was.

"What is sensation play?"

"In its simplest form? Just pleasure though different sensations on one's body. Genki only used his fingers and it was very enjoyable."

"You let him touch you there?" Holly sounded surprised making Granity chuckled,

"No just my arm, shoulders, and neck. He didn't try to touch anywhere else."

"And it felt that good to you?" she sounded skeptical,

"It certainly did. Which makes me think that it'll be even better elsewhere." Holly shivered in response, "obviously you are thinking the same thing."

"How is it any different from how you always touch me?" Granity chuckled,

"Oh you'll have to wait and see on that. I can't exactly do it justice with words." She began to kiss Holly, knowing that once the young woman relaxed she would welcome such touches. Holly let herself go easily this time, she felt more secure knowing she was completely alone with her lover. There would be no one to disturb them this time, no one to see them. Though she had been exhausted it was mostly a mental and emotional exhaustion she had felt from her long day of hard conversations. Her desires had woken her up fully now that they were alone in the room together. Granity moved her to the bed and managed to get her out of her shirt and pants without breaking their kiss for very long. Once on the bed Granity began to caress her body, her finger tips just barely touching Holly's skin. Following Genki's advice she could see that her partner loved it immediately. Holly gasped as her body shivered under the pixie breeds careful caresses. Granity worked her way over Holly's body, starting with just her arms and sides to including her belly, breast, and thighs. Holly soon was bare, her body still shivering under each caress. * Oh my phoenix! How is she doing this… it feels so good… I can barely think. * Granity smirked as she heard her partner moan under her touch. She continued her ministrations, moving to kiss the girl once more hoping to make her moans increase. By the time Granity slipped her fingers into her lover, Holly was soaking wet and craving. This time Holly moaned for her lover, letting her know just how good she felt. Granity smiled as she watched her lover enjoy the pleasure she was giving her. * I really must thank him, without his advice I wouldn't have gotten her to do this. Hopefully I can help her release this pent up frustration she has forced upon herself. * The Pixie breed resolved to incorporate more sensation play into their love life seeing how her partner had reacted to it.

Genki had arrived at the hospital long before the girls had finished their conversation. His mind was focused on only one thing, finding out what happened to his brother. He had forced himself to do a few breathing exercises before he entered the hospital. He knew this would be pushing him to the edge mentally and emotionally but he would worry about that later. Walking through the maze like hospital he finally arrived at his brother's room. He could see he was currently reading a book, his heart monitor showed he was fairly relaxed right now. Genki could see that he was covered in bruises, something traumatic must have happened but he was unsure of what. He honestly looked like he had been in a fight. * He's no that type though. He's never been that aggressive or physically strong. * His brother glanced his way noticing a presence nearby, he smiled upon seeing him.

"Genki! It's been so long."

"Yeah it has. Sorry about that… work has been rough lately. I really wish I hadn't had some much overtime the past few months. I miss our time together." Genki came to side by his brother's side getting ready for the discussion ahead mentally.
"It's alright, I know your work schedule can get rough at times." Genki smiled at his brother's good mood. He knew this was the medication helping him right now.
"Did you get the book I sent you?"
"Yes, I haven't read through all of it yet but it seems interesting. Has it worked for you?" Genki nodded,
"Yes, it has helped me a great deal. I think it would help you too if you give it a try."

"I never really understood the whole chakra stuff…" Genki chuckled,

"Kai it's not as complicated as it first seems. It's actually pretty easy to understand and use once you give it a chance. I know it seems silly but it has helped." Kai gave him a skeptical look,

"Do you believe all their nonsense though?"

"No, but I do believe in the flow of energy within our bodies. That is enough to make it work. It can be as spiritual an experience as you want it to be." he smiled to his brother, "you know me, I tend to do the buffet thing with this type of stuff." Kai laughed at this,

"So you take a little of everything and make it work?"

"Pretty much. It's worked for me thus far." Genki smiled to his brother,

"You really are something else. Always doing it your own way." Kai shook his head,

"I suppose so, though it's the only way I seem to get anything done." Genki laughed as his brother smiled. Kai sighed then closed his book setting it aside. He knew why his brother was here, and he wasn't thrilled about the discussion ahead. "Kai?"

"I know you came because of my attempt… you always try to help when I have my attacks." Genki's expression turned tender now, he nodded.

"You know I'm here Kai. I have been where you are, I know what it's like." Kai nodded, he knew his brother had attempted suicide in the past. He even knew what the trigger was. But that didn't make it any easier to talk to his brother about his own experience. Genki reached over and took his brothers hand, giving it a gentle reassuring squeeze. "It's OK, you are not alone Kai." Kai shook his head,

"I'm not sure even you can understand this Genki."

"Try me. I have had a lot more experiences then you believe I have." Genki kept his voice soft and inviting, he knew Kai might not be able to explain. Feelings were not his forte after all. He heard Kai sigh, he wouldn't look at Genki but he did start talking,

"Genki… it's kind of complicated… it's not easy for me to explain."

"Most things in life are complicated. Just explain what you can." Genki was gently urging him to talk about whatever it was. Kai still seemed reluctant but he finally glanced toward his brother. Genki could see fear in his eyes, Genki returned his fearful gaze with one of understanding. It seemed to work,

"Well… it started after I realized that I should accept myself. I know mom will be upset but I can't lie about it…"

"What are you accepting Kai?"

"I'm gay…" Genki smiled and chuckled,

"I'm aware you are." Kai looked up startled, he looked both confused and relieved.

"How?"

"I noticed it as we were growing up. I have seen the kind of porn you look at Kai. I already knew by that and subtle signs you were giving that you were gay. I understand that you feel pressured to have children. Please try to remember that mom has never wanted to burden us. It was more of a playful comment than a serious one. Besides, she still has me for that." He chuckled at his brother's flabbergasted look. Their mother was always talking about grandchildren, so he could understand the pressure Kai felt. Once Kai had recovered he smiled,

"So you have no problems with it then?" Genki shook his head,

"No, not at all. You are who you are, it's important that you can express that freely." Kai gave Genki's hand a squeeze, Genki returned it with a smile. He then sighed,

"After I accepted that I was gay I decided to try dating… it's not easy to know if others feel that way though. I have a guy I really like and I wanted to ask him out…" Kai stopped a moment trying to figure out his words. "I asked my roommate if he knew anything about him. He did but asked why I wanted to know. I told him I had heard his birthday was coming up and I wanted to do something for him. My roommate was still confused but gave me the information anyway." Genki smiled, * He was being cautious huh? * He gave Kai's hand another squeeze hoping to reassure him. Kai sighed heavily, "Somehow, one of the football jocks found out that I wanted to ask the guy out. Apparently he hates people like me…"

"You mean those who are gay?"

"Yeah…" Genki had a bad feeling about where this was going but left it alone. Instead he just helped his brother to release it.

"So what did he do?" Kai shifted his eyes to his hands, he refused to look at Genki now.

"He got some of his buddies together, they knocked me out and took me to an abandoned building. I was beat up pretty bad, when they got done beating me they…" He could see this was stressing him, Genki moved to place his arms around his brother, Kai accepted his embrace leaning into him.

"Kai breath… its OK… you're safe." It took Kai several minutes to calm down, his anxiety was still an issue even if he was on medication for depression. Genki noticed the nurse pop in briefly, no doubt checking why the young man was distressed. She didn't interfere though, merely checked that he was alright before leaving again. When Kai finally calmed enough to speak, he finished what he was going to say.

"Genki… they raped me…" Genki held him close, Kai was holding back tears and he knew now why he had tried to kill himself.

"Kai let it go. Don't hold back the tears. You need to release it." Genki was suddenly pulled into a tight embrace, he felt Kai sobbing into his chest. He gently soothed his brother knowing this was something he needed. * We are seriously too much alike sometimes…. I wish my intuition had been wrong… Kai… you defiantly went through a worse thing than I did. I understand now why you couldn't bare it. * When his brother calmed Genki spoke a question softly to him,

"Kai do you feel any internal pain physically from what they did?" Kai nodded,

"Yes… it hurts so bad… I'm not sure what they used…"

"Did you tell the doctors?" He shook his head, "Why?"

"I… was too ashamed…"

"There is nothing for you to be ashamed of. Kai… if you have internal bleeding you could die… very painfully. Those types of wounds take days or even weeks to kill and are agonizing." Kai flinched upon hearing that. "I'm going to tell the doctor OK?" Kai nodded, he let go of his brother. Genki wiped his tears away, his eyes showing understanding and concern. Most of all Kai could see the love his brother had for him. "I understand Kai. It's very hard to bare this… especially so soon after you accepted this side of yourself. You can get through this, maybe not alone but with help you can."

"Thank you Genki… can I ask you something?" He smiled,

"Of course."

"How can you understand this so easily? Have you been sexually assaulted too?" He chuckled at his brothers confusion, leaning forward he whispered into his brothers ear. Kai's eyes widened, he looked even more confused now.

"Keep that to yourself. Now you know my secret to how I understand what others go through."

"Why haven't you told anyone about this?"

"I never felt I could… it's not normal by any means. Plus with all the other issues I have I figured I might get sectioned if I did." he gave a bitter chuckle,

"Mom would never let that happen…"

"Perhaps but it might not be up to her. There are many things you don't know yet Kai. I am hoping you never have to know them. The burdens I carry are heavy and many, but I carry them none the less. I try to turn them into something positive when I can. It helps me keep moving forward." Kai gave him a sad smile, "I'll be right back; I need to talk to your doctor a moment. While I do that, why don't you do some breathing exercises?"

"You want me to meditate?"

"You can if you like but the exercises should be enough to relax you."

Kai nodded and started his exercises as Genki walked over to the nurse's station. "Excuse me miss, is his doctor available for a moment. I found out something that I need to discuss with him." The nurse looked a bit unsure but then nodded,

"Yes he's nearby let me get him for you Mr…

"Sakura, Genki. Kai is my brother." The nurse nodded and left to get the doctor. It only took a few minutes before she returned with him.

"I'm told you have something to discuss with me?" Genki nodded,

"Yes, is there somewhere we can talk privately? My brother confided something in me that is medically relevant to his condition." The doctor led Genki to a small room and closed the door.

"What has he told you?"

"I know why he attempted suicide but more pressing, I need you to check him for internal bleeding. He was raped and told me he is still in pain from it." The doctor's eyes widened,

"He was anally raped?"

"Yes, probably sodomized with objects from the sound of it. My concern is that they may have ruptured his rectum in the process." the doctor nodded,

"We will run a test and a rape kit on him as well. I am required to report this to the authorities…"

"I know, he knows at least one of his attackers."

"I'll make note of that. So the trauma cause his depression to flare up. It makes sense now why it was a sudden flare up."

"It does yes, and why he couldn't bare such trauma. I would also like to suggest testing for one other thing."

"Oh? What is your suggestion?"

"Please test him for chronic stress disorder. I believe he may have it like I do. I have it alongside anxiety and depression; I'm thinking he might as well."

"You have anxiety and depression as well?" Genki nodded, "You have medication correct?"

"Yes, but my depression was a sudden flare up after a traumatic event as well. I too tried to take my own life, and I struggled with the anxiety until we realized I had chronic stress as well. Kai is struggling with his anxiety and I suspect he might be fighting many things at once. Not just one, which would require… a new medication to deal with it." The doctor nodded,

"Thank you young man, we will defiantly test for that. You are right to be worried especially since he is similar to you it seems. Thank you for bringing all of this to my attention." Genki smiled,

"I just want to help him as much as I can."

"He defiantly has a great brother looking out for him." They left the small room, Genki returned to his brother's side. He smiled seeing his brother meditating or trying to at least. He chuckled seeing how annoyed he was at the sounds around him, every little sound seems to perturb him. He could see a vein beginning to pop out as continued to try. * He really is easily distracted sometimes. * Genki sat down on the bed side again catching his attention. He looked over at his brother,

"They are going to report it aren't they?" Genki gave him a sad smile then nodded,

"They are required to by law. Don't fear this Kai. Those men deserve to be put in jail for hurting you."

"I know… it's just hard to talk about." He smiled gently to his brother, his hand moving to Kai's again.

"It's alright, you can do this. I know you are strong enough for this."

"I don't feel strong… I can't even meditate…"

"You are… we don't always feel strong. But that doesn't mean we aren't. Sometimes we just need help. Would you like to meditate?"

"Yeah… though in a bit… I want to ask a favor…"

"What is it?"

"Can you… talk to the guy I wanted to ask out?" Genki raised a brow at that request,

"I can yes, though I'm not sure what you want me to do."

"I just… He seemed to want that too… I just want to know if there is any hope for a relationship with him… or if he was… leading me on." Genki chuckled,

"I will talk to him, but only this time. You need to do this step yourself next time." Kai nodded,

"I understand."

"So who is this guy and how do I get a hold of him?"

"His name is Nubou, Diaske, I have his cell number… we have hung out a few times to play magic." Genki chuckled again, * Well at least they share a common interest. * Kai gave him his number,

"I will call him." he reassured, "I want you to make sure you recover alright? I'm not setting up dates with the dead." Kai burst out laughing at his brother's morbid joke,

"I will I promise."

"Anything else?"

"No… but I really want to meditate… how do I with all this noise?" Genki smiled at his brothers annoyed expression.

"How about I guide you for a bit. First you need to relax and accept the noise. It's just there, and that's OK. No need to be worried or upset about it."

"So ignore it?"

"It's not ignoring at as much as not really caring that it's there. Have you ever heard of equanimity?"

"No, what's that?"

"Equanimity is basically the psychological stability and composure that is undisturbed by anything we may experience. Whether that is sounds around us, emotions or sensations within us, or other things we experience in our lives. It accepts that these things are happening but is not perturbed by them, instead it just lets them be as they are. It's a hard thing to achieve, especially during high stress moments but it is the single greatest thing we can strive for. It will help you deal with all of your issues, just like it has for me."

"So… I'm accepting the noise but not caring that it's there?"

"Yes, just have an easy going attitude about what's around you. Would you like me to start a guided meditation for you?"

"Sure, I know you have to go… you have things you have to take care of huh? I can see you are stressed too."

"I am stressed yes, both work wise and with personal things right now. But what I have to take care of right now is myself. I need to set aside time to meditate as well." His brother nodded, "I will visit at the end of the week again, but I promise to call your friend in the meantime."

"Thanks big brother… it means a lot." Genki smiled to his little brother then began his guiding.

"Get into a comfortable position Kai." He nodded and did so, closing his eyes as Genki spoke softly.

"Take a deep breath and let your body relax as you release it. With each breath let a little more stress leave your body. Focus on your home base, if you didn't choose one just use the breath as your home base. The sounds around you are fine, they are there but not important. Keep your focus, letting yourself relax." Kai did as his brother instructed, Genki could see he was breathing deeply and slowly. His heart rate had fallen to around 60 bpm now, indicating he was relaxing just fine. After his brother had focused for a while, he gave his next instruction. "Now let your mind wonder a bit, acknowledged what you are thinking but don't linger on it. Just relax and let it wonder. If it goes too far return to your home base for a while. Everything is as it should be, let the world go by. Let your thoughts go by as they will." Kai did so, his body seemed fully relaxed now as he moved deeper into his meditation. Genki smiled seeing his brother so relaxed. "Just remember your home base and to remain carefree Kai. These two things will guide you on your journey. I will see you again soon little brother." He could see a soft smile on Kai's face before he stepped out of the door.

Kai's doctor gave him an intrigued look,

"I won't disturb him since this is the first time I have seen him this calm… you really should be an instructor. You seem to have the knack for it." Genki chuckled,

"I may have a gift yes but I already have a full time job that keeps me busy. Give him at least fifteen minutes and he should be good for a while. Hopefully he will be able to return to that mediation on his own later without my help." His doctor nodded,

"I will make sure he goes undisturbed for a little bit. I think this is what he needed." He paused a moment. "Would you mind if I had your number? Just in case he gets too riled up. I don't want to use drugs if I don't have to. He had an allergic reaction to the last one we gave him." Genki nodded, he jotted down his number for the doctor.

"Call me if anything comes up. I'd like to know if he had internal injuries and when the police talk with him." The doctor nodded his understanding,

"I will be sure to let both you and your parents know. Thank you for your help."

"It was my pleasure." Genki smiled then took his leave. After he got into the car he did a few breathing exercises himself. Trying to push back his own stress, he had barely held it together in the hospital. He wanted to break several times while comforting his brother. But he wasn't going to do so inform of Kai… he need to be his brothers strength right then. After a moment he decide to ring up Kai's friend. * Perhaps we can meet up and discuss things. Kai could really use someone right now and I could use a distraction. * It took a few rings before someone answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Sakura, Genki. Is this Nubou, Daiske?"

"Yes, what is this about?"

"I'm calling on behalf of my brother Kai."

"Is he alright? I heard he got beat up bad…"

"Yes, he's alright and recovering. Do you have time to meet me for a quick discussion? He wanted me to speak with you about a couple of things." He could tell the other man was leery of what was going on, he didn't blame him. This was very unorthodox to say the least. * Leave it to Kai to make it far more complicated then it needed to be… *

"Yeah… I could meet you in say… 30 minutes if you have time."

"That's fine. Where would you like to meet?" he decided to let the man choose in hopes of making him feel better about the situation.

"How about the cafe by Shibuya station?"

"The small cat themed one?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Alright, I will meet you there. See you soon." Genki heard the man hang up, he then put the phone away as he got ready to get going. * This will be probably the weirdest things I have ever done for my brother… seriously Kai. Setting up dates for you… and checking out guys for you is not what I signed up for as a big brother. * He sweat dropped, he wasn't sure he would even be a good judge of compatibility for his brother let alone how to discuss such a topic with the man. Genki could feel his anxiety beginning to become an issue again. He did a few more breathing exercises before starting his vehicle and heading for the station cafe.

Once at the station cafe Genki took a few moments to relax before he went inside. He was about 5 minutes early, so he decided to grab a drink and head to a visible table that offered some semblance of privacy. He knew he looked a lot like Kai so the man he was meeting would likely be able to tell who he was. While he waited he enjoyed the atmosphere of the cafe. A bunch of cute kitties ran around the cafe begging for attention or just snuggling with some visitors. He had visited these cafes before and always found them relaxing if not unique. * Swear I seriously take on way too much. It's such a bad habit of mine lately. * He took a sip of his chai tea, letting its aroma relax him. * Still Kai needs help… and there is only so much I can do for him. I can only hope this guy is at least bi or this won't work at all. In fact, I might scare him off if he's not bi. * Soon he saw a man looking around after ordering a coffee, he smiled as the man approached. Raising to greet him properly,

"Daiske?" The man nodded, Genki gave a short bow then indicated for the man to sit. Daiske returned the bow and took his seat.

"So your Kai's older brother?"

"Yes."

"How is he really?"

"Shaken up pretty bad. He's being taken care of well and have a few more tests done to make sure everything is alright." Daiske seemed to debate for a moment before he commented.

"I heard his roommate found him almost dead…" Genki sighed,

"That is true but it wasn't from the beating…"

"What are you talking about? Did he have an attack again?" Daiske's voice told Genki he was extremely worried. * That's a good sign. *

"He had an attack but not an anxiety attack. I assume he told you about his disorder?"

"Yeah… we have spoken a few times about his problems. We often talk over a game of magic, it seems to help him." Genki nodded,

"Figures, he has always been better at chatting when his mind is focused elsewhere." He chuckled, he saw Daiske smile slightly.

"Daiske… he doesn't just have anxiety. He has depression. It was an unknown issue until now." He could see that the other man understood immediately,

"Did he… hurt himself after that beating?" Genki nodded,

"Yes, but it wasn't just a beating he endured." Genki sighed, there was no easy way of going about this. Daiske's face changed now, he seemed to realize something.

"He was raped…" it wasn't a question, it's like Daiske knew somehow.

"Yes, though I have to ask how you knew." He sighed heavily before looking up sadly, Genki could see the sorrow in his eyes.

"I heard a few of the jocks bragging about raping some fag. They said they hoped they did enough damage to kill him…." Genki's eyes widened, * So they wanted to kill him? Those fuckers! * Genki took a deep breath pushing his rage back. Daiske could see the anger and understood it. If anyone touched his younger sister he would have the same reaction.

"Would you be willing to give a statement about that? The police will be investigating it." Daiske nodded,

"Gladly… I hate bigots like that. There was no reason to hurt him." Genki nodded,

"Thank you, I will be in touch with the contact information as soon as I have it." Genki decided to broach the other subject now, his mind was beginning to fail him so a tactful way wasn't going to work well at the moment. "Can I ask you something Diaske?"

"Sure?"

"Did you know Kai was gay?"

"Yeah… he never said it but I could tell he was." Genki smiled, he felt better about this now.

"I won't presume to know what your orientation is. I am wondering if you knew of his feeling for you though." Daiske seemed to be quiet for a moment before he answered,

"I knew he cared for me… he probably wants to ask me out. I wasn't sure if he had accepted himself though. I will tell you now that I'm bisexual, and I know it's hard to deal with that aspect of yourself. Especially with all the bigots around school…" Genki nodded his understanding,

"It is difficult yes. Kai only recently accepted that side of himself. He told me that he wanted to ask you out but… well he never got the chance before those men hurt him." Daiske seemed unsure now, he then smiled softly.

"I thought that might have been the case… his roommate mentioned he had asked about me…" he seemed to take a moment before coming to a decision. "Would you be alright with me visiting him?"

"As soon as he is out of the ICU I would love for you to visit him. He could use the company right now. He should be out of there this week with any luck. I will send you the room number as soon as I have it. But you could call him, he has his cell with him." He smiled kindly to the other man,

"I will do that… thank you. You didn't have to help out like this."

"Yes I did, he's my brother. I don't mind helping him when I can." Daiske chuckled,

"I'd do the same for my sister… I get it. I will call him tonight." Genki smiled and nodded to the man,

"Thank you Daiske. It means a lot that you are willing to help him like this." The two men shook hands and parted ways. * This is all I can do for you Kai… it's up to you now. *Genki knew he would definitely need help when he got home, but for now he used the feeling of doing some good for another to get him through the drive.

Granity sat on the bed reading, Holly asleep next to her. She had managed to give the woman multiple orgasms, helping her to unwind a bit more than usual. As she read though the book, she became increasingly more worried about Genki. * He is defiantly close to an attack if this book is right. I'm not sure how he is keeping it at bay at this point. I wonder if I can get him release any of it? I wish he trusted Holly… her abilities could definitely help him right now. Assuming she could handle what he is feeling… * she glanced to the sleeping woman beside her, she knew Holly was strong but could she handle anymore right now. * She has been through a lot herself… * Granity resumed her reading, finding that though the book seemed complicated at first she was able to understand it the more she read. Soon she felt Holly beginning to stir next her, she found a good place to stop and placed her marker. Turning her attention to Holly as she stretched and looked around groggily.

"You have a good nap love?" Holly gave her a gentle and content smile,

"Yes… I feel so much better." Granity leaned down to kiss her tenderly. The two kissed for a few moments before parting again.

"I'm very happy to hear that. You had me worried."

"I just needed some rest is all."

"No you needed rest and some release." Holly smiled again then nodded.

"You are right… I haven't felt so… relaxed before."

"I think you need more sexual release than you realize." Holly sighed then nodded,

"I do… I guess I should accept that… I want sex… more than most women." Granity lay down with her now, pulling her close.

"Why have you resisted accepting that? There's nothing wrong with wanting it you know." Her voice was very soft and gentle.

"I guess I just didn't want to be different…"

"Holly… don't evade please." Holly closed her eyes, finally after a few moments she sighed heavily.

"I was told only whores had high sex drives… that women don't want sex much…"

"You mean when you were young?" Holly nodded, "Who told you that?"

"A woman in our village who was like a mother to me…after mine passed." Granity caressed her cheek gently getting Holly to focus on her.

"Well she was wrong. Having a high sex drive doesn't make you a whore. And I highly doubt any husband would complain about such a thing." Holly sighed again,

"Perhaps you are right…" she looked away again, "it's just… I've wanted to belong for so long… yet I'm so different. No matter what I never do what the other women do…"

"Nonsense, you are just as much a woman as they are. You're not meant to be the same as the others. If you had been would you have fought Moo? Or freed your father? I highly doubt you would have." she leaned her forehead against Holly's, "I for one fell in love with you because of your courage. I believe Genki did as well. We love you the way you are Holly." She could see her words meant a lot to her partner. Holly let a few tears fall before she moved to kiss Granity once more. The kiss was soft and affectionate, filled with the love they both had for each other. When they parted Granity could see that Holly felt better now.

"I understand…. I need to accept myself. Do you think Genki can accept me?"

"I know he can. This won't bother him at all." She nodded,

"Thank you…" She snuggled with Granity again, letting her herself feel secure for the moment. After a little while Granity decided to ask her something.

"Holly… I'm not sure how much you can handle right now. I don't want to overwhelm you."

"You mean emotionally?"

"That and mentally. Genki is close to an attack. I have been reading up on his anxiety, the signs are there. I'm not sure how he's keeping it at bay but I'm afraid he won't manage it for much longer." Holly looked concerned now,

"I am defiantly feeling a bit stressed emotionally but if he needs help I can do that for him." she looked into the pixie breeds eyes, following that logic. "You want me to try to pull some of the stress away from him?"

"Or give him a release somehow. He needs to let some of this go before he has any issues."

"Doesn't he have medication?"

"He does but he hates using it… it makes him feel… well not himself in his words. He hates how he feels when he uses it. He will use it if he has no other choice, but not before then." * wait so he is not treating it? *

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"It could be… but only if he's overwhelmed. He seems to be able to deal with it a little at a time but not all at once. I think he was using other methods as a treatment at this point… but I haven't had a chance to ask him about it. I know where he keeps his medication if we have to give it to him." Holly closed her eyes, trying to think of what she might be able to do. * Is there anything I can do? If he's like Granity then he held in everything… a big release could help with his overflowing emotions. If he will let me… *

"Perhaps I can give him an outlet like I did for you that night. Let all those emotions flow out through me."

"Can you handle it though?"

"I can… as long as he is willing to let them go. If he won't release them then…"

"I understand. It might get intense for you…"

"I'm sure he is in a lot of pain right now…"

"Pain… among other things. I found out he… well he's definitely depressed as well right now. His mood the other day was a result of his medication."

"You mean his odd behavior was…"

"Yeah, that's why he hates taking either medication."

"I guess I can understand… so he's depressed as well…" Granity was silent a moment just thinking things over. * Perhaps that will help him… *

"Part of it is that he believes he lost you years ago… perhaps just letting him know that he didn't lose you would help."

"What are you talking about?"

"He accepted your answer all those years ago… came to terms with it despite how much it hurt. He literally gave up on the idea of you two being together at all. It took me getting creative to even get him to tell me how you could win him back. He said he hadn't thought about it at all, he didn't have answer until I asked him to think it over." Holly seemed to mull this over for a bit. Granity knew this would not be easy for her at all but perhaps it could begin the healing process between them. * I can't believe I ripped his hope away… it was the promise I forced on him… it ripped everything away from him… Phoenix how will he ever be able to forgive me? * She felt incredibly guilty now, * I need to help him, to give him hope again. *

"I will do what I can to give him hope again… it all depends on if he believes me or not."

"Let him feel it. He will believe you." Holly nodded, she would let him feel what was in her heart. Granity heard the door close hard upstairs, she was unsure of why he would be slamming it though. She heard a large thud as well which made her get up. "Get dressed, I'm going upstairs she see what that was." Holly nodded as Granity left the room.

Upon entering the kitchen she found Genki leaned against the wall of the hallway, breathing hard, he was holding his head with one hand as he tried to catch his breath. Granity came to his side and gently took hold of his shoulders. He looked over at her, his eyes unfocused.

"It's OK Genki… let me help you." He nodded, shifting to try to walk he nearly fell. She caught him, "I'm going to help you sit down on the couch OK?"

"No…" his voice was soft, he was struggling to speak. "I'm going to need to lie down…" She debated a moment what to do, when Holly came upstairs she froze seeing how labored his breathing was.

"Alright, I'm going to have Holly help me get you upstairs. Let us support you." He took a moment to register her words but nodded nonetheless. Holly came over and took hold of him on the other side. He let them both guide him up the stairs. His eyes remained unfocused as his vision wavered between blurry and darkness. * This is bad… really bad he needs his medication… * Granity thought as they made their way upstairs. They finally got him to the bed, helping him sit down after pulling the covers back. Holly removed his shoes as Granity held him up. They then switched places, Holly holding him in a seated position. "Genki, I'm going to get your medicine then you can lie down OK?" He seemed out of it but nodded in response. Genki focused on remaining conscious as his vision dimmed once more, he was trying to control his breath as much as he could. Despite this it was still very labored. * Damn… this is worse than before… I have to take it… I can't let this over take me…* He felt her return to his side, she placed a pill in his mouth and a cup in his hand. He managed to swallow it despite the fact that he was so disoriented. After he finished his water she took the glass and they helped him lie down. Granity gave Holly a look that told her to try and help him. Holly nodded, she knew she would have to embrace him for this to work. Taking her own shoes off once more, she lay down next to him. Gently she pulled him into an embrace. He rest his head on her shoulder without complaint.

"Genki… I know you don't trust me right now. That's fine… please let me help you. Let me be an outlet for you to release some of this."

"Holly… this is too much… even for you…"

"Let me try… please…" He seemed concerned for her safety but then realized something * she will pass out and so will I if this fails… why am I fighting this… am I that afraid of her? * It was hard for him to think clearly but finally he nodded.

"Alright… but drop your connection if it's too much for you." he was struggling to speak, his mind barely working at this point.

"I promise I will. I need you to relax and release these emotions OK? Don't hold onto them, just let them go. Doesn't matter what you are feeling… let it go." Holly pressed herself to him, opening her heart and letting her power flow into him. She flinched upon feeling how intense his emotions truly were, she wanted to recoil but forced herself to remain open. He was in so much pain, but there was also anger and sadness there. It was definitely overloading him. He leaned into her as she gently tugged on his emotions. "Release them Genki… don't hold it back." she whispered into his ear. After a moment's hesitation he did, he couldn't keep them back. Tears flowed from his eyes and he let them go. His body shaking slightly while Holly held him close. She too was crying now, letting his emotions flow out through her. Granity lay down behind Genki, she gently held them both hoping to provide some comfort and security as they dealt with this. She felt Genki's body shudder then shake more as he began to cry harder. He was releasing it, just as she had hoped he would. Holly for her part just held him close as she sobbed. Her eyes were closed as she let everything flow through her. * She's gotten better at channeling emotions… maybe helping me taught her to use her power? All I can hope is that she can help him release enough of this tonight that it is no longer overwhelming for him. * For the next few hours Holly helped him, Granity had stayed to provide security and comfort for them both for a while.

Later Granity went downstairs to make a call to the others and make something to eat. Both Holly and Genki had passed out after such an exhausting release of emotions. * What do I tell the others? That Holly is still passed out? I hate lying but… I can't tell them the truth...* She mulled things over as she turned the device on. * Maybe I can say something about Genki needing some company…. They know about his brother… perhaps I can tell them without going into details. * She sighed and decided to just get the call over with.

"Hey Tiger you there?"

"I am… is Holly still passed out?"

"No she's awake… but … tied up at the moment."

"Tied up?" He seemed confused,

"She told you about his brother right?"

"Yeah said he was going to see him today…"

"Well… we don't know exactly what happened yet… but apparently his brother was in bad shape. He's… taken it rather hard. Holly is trying to get him to talk about it… He really needs to discuss this. I don't think I have seen him this overwhelmed before." Tiger was silent a moment before responding,

"Alright, just let us know when Holly wants to jump back."

"I will."

"Granity, tell my daughter to stay with him if he needs her. I'm sure it's hard on him to deal with his brother's condition. You may be right about him needing to talk it out."

"I'll let her know what you said."

"Also tell her to stop fearing his reaction. She needs to just be honest with him. He will understand her heart I think but only if she can be honest." Granity was taken aback by that statement, she smiled a little at that fatherly advice.

"I'll tell her… after Genki calms down a bit."

"Genki cry chi?" she paused a moment,

"Yes Mocchi… he loves his brother dearly. It's painful for him to see him in the state he was in. I think he tried to help him today, I don't know how that went. I'll let you all know later how his brother is doing once we get him talking."

"Just keep us posted. Help him as much as you can." Tiger seemed to understand what she had told him. * He probably heard enough from Holly to understand what's really going on. *

"I will. Have a good night guys." She had been surprised that they were awake at that hour. Normally they would have been asleep. * Were they that worried about her? * Granity headed to the kitchen to make some food. "Hopefully they will both want to eat when they wake up."

It took over an hour for Holly to awaken, she was feeling very drained after channeling all his emotions. It had nearly overwhelmed her when she first connected with him. * How was he even able to handle that at all? * She didn't know but would be looking more into his condition now that she had seen its effect. She lay still just letting him rest in her arms as she thought over what she had felt. * He is so much pain… I can't believe he managed to hide it from me before… yet… despite his pain he still helps everyone else. I wonder what that powerful anger was from though. I haven't ever seen him that angry before… * she mulled this over a moment, * Perhaps I need to know more about what happened to his brother to know that answer. His sadness was definitely tied to his brother, I could feel it as we worked through things. The anger maybe as well. Though his pain… was definitely from what I did for the most part. * She sighed, her hand gently caressed his side as he rested, * I need to bare my heart to him. He needs to have hope again… but first I need to apologize.* After a little while longer she felt him shift in her arms. He seemed groggy, his eyes unfocused as he looked around. After a bit his vision cleared and he could see her worried gaze.

"Holly… I passed out didn't I?" he spoke softly his voice rough from all the sobbing he had done. She smiled gently and nodded,

"We both passed out actually. It's alright, I think you needed some rest after all that." he nodded, he didn't seem to want to move so she decided to let him stay where he was. "Do you feel better?"

"A bit yes… I still feel… a heaviness but its bearable now. Thank you… I really wasn't sure if you could handle something that intense…" She let her forehead rest against his gently,

"I wasn't sure either but I had to try because I love you." She deliberately used the same words she had used before. She wanted him to realize he was loved by her, that she had never meant to imply that he wasn't. His eyes widened a moment as his gaze searched her. He sighed then closed his eyes,

"Thank you… that means a lot." he spoke softly but knew she had heard him. Her hand gently moved along his side, hoping to bring comfort. Genki seemed to understand and relaxed under her touch, he was too tired to worry about what she might try to talk to him about right now. The sensation he got from her touch wasn't as pleasant as she believed it might be but he understood why she was doing it. * Stupid sensitivity… * a few minutes later he heard Granity enter the room, he felt Holly shift to look up at her.

"You both awake?"

"Yeah." Genki responded but made no effort to move.

"I made some dinner if you want it."

"Later… I'm not feeling up to eating. Though Holly can go eat if she wants." Holly smiled but decided not to move. Granity understood and lay down to hold Genki from behind.

"I will eat a bit later." He felt them both giving him comfort and chuckled softly.

"I know you are both worried… but I will be OK in a little while." Granity knew he would be alright with time but she also knew he needed to talk.

"I'm sure you will be, but for now. Would it help of you to talk about what happened with your brother?" He was silent a moment before he sighing,

"It probably would yes." He seemed to be thinking things over on how he wanted to discuss this. The girls let him, they knew he was always trying to be careful and concise when he spoke. "He's a bit worse off than I had thought. Apparently my mother wasn't aware that he had been assaulted before his suicide attempt." Granity and Holly exchanged a glanced,

"Assaulted?"

"Yeah." He seemed to be weighing his words, "some of the school's athletes took issue with his preference in relationships. They apparently knocked him out, took him to a secluded location and beat the shit out of him… before deciding to… rape him." He sighed, before continuing, "The doctors are still looking into any internal damage he may have received from it. But that trauma was his trigger, he decided to take his own life to escape it." He rested his head on Holly's shoulder, she understood he was upset and just held him as Granity rubbed his back soothingly. He shifted slightly under her touch, "Granity…"

"Yes?"

"My body is really sensitive right now, lighten your touch please." She frowned, but did so hoping to help him. She had forgotten what he had told her the night before until now. Holly looked to Granity totally confused by what had just been said. * His body is sensitive? But how? *

"Better?"

"Yes…"

"Genki… I assume by what the doctors were looking into that they… raped him anally?" He nodded,

"Yes… from what Kai told me he's still in a lot of pain… he was too ashamed to tell the doctors when he first arrived."

"Why?" Genki shrugged,

"I'm not sure why exactly. I spoke with his doctor after I realized he could have internal damage. The police will be investigating the crime, though I am waiting for a contact from them. His friend over heard the people behind it bragging about the act and that they hoped it would be lethal…" The girls exchanged a look, both seemed startled by this.

"Why would they want that?"

"Be cause they are bigots who hate those who are different from them…"

"Different how? You said they took issue with his relationship preferences, what preferences?" Holly probed, she was much better at this than Granity. She tended to ask very specific questions.

"My brother is gay, he only recently accepted this side of himself and was planning on dating. Apparently there are a lot of problematic people at his school. I never really thought much about which school he was at until now."

"Is that kind of behavior common?"

"No… it's rare that it becomes violent. Usually if that minority group makes a fuss they are just very vocal about it. They normally won't commit crimes over it." they both seemed relieved by this, and Genki could understand why. They still knew so little about his world.

"Did you know?" Granity asked,

"That he was gay?" She nodded, he felt her do so. "Yes I have known probably longer that he has." He chuckled, "I remember what porn he used to look at and I noticed his mannerisms were different then most men. I realized that he hadn't figured things out yet, so I stayed silent on the matter."

"Looking at porn were you?" Granity teased, attempting to lighten the mood. He chuckled lightly,

"More like accidentally walking in on him more than once. Which was entirely awkward for both of us…" he chuckled at the memory, "But I have looked at it myself before yes. It's pretty common in this world." He shrugged, he knew it might bother Holly but he wouldn't lie about it.

"Will he be alright?"

"He will be in time, I got him some help. The friend I spoke of is in contact with him, hopefully he can support him while I cannot. I had all I could do to hold it together at the hospital." Holly felt him lean into her more, she let him knowing he was having trouble still. Granity decided to prob something else now.

"Genki… did you ever experiment with other men?" Genki seemed unsure of exactly what she was asking.

"You mean with male porn? Or actual people?"

"Either…"

"I'm not bisexual if that's what you are really asking. I did experiment yes… but I never felt that way."

"Well I'm glad you let yourself explore things."

"Why wouldn't I? I have never made a habit of hiding from things, especially if I don't understand them. I tend to explore them to find understanding. It's what I did when my grandfather died…"

"What do you mean?"

"I explored death and anything surrounding it. Trying to find understanding. It certainly freaked my mother out, but my father convinced her to leave my be." He chuckled, "though I seem to have developed a morbid sense of humor after the fact."

"Did you find what you were searching for?" Holly whispered, she was unsure of how to deal with everything she was learning. He was a lot different then she remembered, * Well we haven't talked about our personal lives as much since our fight… what did I expect really. *

"I did yes… it helped me come to terms with his death a bit better." She smiled, her hand gently caressing his side again, her touch a bit lighter then before. He seemed to relax into her, Granity smiled seeing her adapt to his needs so easily. * She doesn't even know why he is so sensitive yet and she already figured out a way to tell if he's uncomfortable. *

"I'm glad it helped you. I know that kind of lose can be hard…" Her voice very soft, but she knew they both heard her words. They were silent a moment before Holly probed him again, "Genki can I ask about the sensitivity thing? What did you mean by your body being very sensitive?" He was silent a moment before answering her,

"Due to my anxiety, when I'm really emotional I become extremely sensitive to touch. Sometimes so much so that a touch will actually cause me pain even if it's not meant to. Right now it's just making things uncomfortable for me… but it's still something I have to deal with when my issues kick up." She was quiet a moment thinking about that, before asking.

"I take it your medication doesn't help with this?"

"This particular side effect is rare. The medication doesn't affect this aspect directly. Though it will help dull it as it will push my emotions down a bit, the only issue there is that my depression could worsen." He sighed, "I spoke with my doctor about switching medications but he isn't sure any of the others would really help me since I don't want to take them daily. So we have been attempting to figure out a way to deal with things without the drugs. It was working until recently…"

"Could you take your depression medication at the same time?" Granity probed now, she and Holly shared a worried glance.

"I could… they won't interact too badly with each other but the antidepressant I have will cause anxiety. And they both have a few… very unwanted side effects." Granity was intrigued now,

"What side effects?" He sighed as he tried to remember them all,

"There's a fairly large list but the big ones that are an issue are insomnia, loss of appetite, mood swings, and nausea; to name a few. I also hate the way I feel when I use them… I don't feel right…" Holly looked concerned now, "I know the book was confusing on how these medications actually work… so I'm not sure if you understand what they actually do."

"Well it said something about a chemical imbalance right?"

"Correct, but do you understand what those chemicals actually do?" The girls shared a glance before Holly spoke,

"Not really… I know we need them but not why." She felt him shift, his eyes meeting hers now. She could see he was still very tired, he seemed to be searching for a moment before he spoke again.

"I will try to explain though… it might be rough without a background in science." He looked over to find Granity watching him she seemed just as interested as Holly, "In order for our body to communicate with our brain certain chemicals are released. Each one has a different function. Some are for communication alone others make us feel things, like hormones for example. They are made of several different chemicals that change our behavior and how we feel." He noticed they both seem to be following him so far. "The chemicals that are imbalanced are on the production side for me. My body is still making them, in fact in the case of anxiety it's over producing the chemicals. In this case adrenaline and cortisol, these two are used for our flight or fight response, like running from danger; they are helpful for this but if they are over produced then it leads to anxiety."

"So it's over making them and then you feel anxious because of it?" Granity asked, clarifying what he had said.

"Yes." He nodded, "as for depression, it's an imbalance of a chemical called serotonin. This chemical has a calming effect normally, my levels on this one are too low part of the time, which is why my bouts of depression come and go. There are times that I have normal levels but it all depends on how stressed I am at the time. Serotonin will not be produced very well if my body is busy making adrenaline and cortisol, the chemicals that affect my anxiety." Holly looked like she was thinking all of this over, though this was all new to her. He waited a moment before continuing, "The medication is supposed to re-balance things. Either using the opposing chemical to calm me down, in the case of anxiety or lift my mood in the case of depression. The issue is that these two problems are opposites. If you affect one you inadvertently affect the second one. There are some medications that can do both, but… I'd rather not be on them since they have a huge list of side effects." Holly mulled over what he had just said, she defiantly understood better now but not everything he had just said. * I really need to learn more science but it sounds like his anxiety is the main problem. What if… our fight caused this… I mean he didn't have any major issues until after our fight. Would he even tell me the truth if I ask though? * She waited a moment before speaking, hoping to word this in a way that he would understand her motives.

"So if I'm understanding this correctly, your anxiety seems to be the biggest issues here. It's triggering the other issues you have?" her voice was soft as her hand continued to gentle move along his side. Genki seemed physically relaxed with her, despite what they had gone through emotionally.

"Yes, my anxiety is the main culprit." Granity seemed interested in where Holly was going with this.

"When did your anxiety first start?" Genki seemed to look uncertain of what she was asking now. He looked like he was thinking it over before answering.

"We first noticed it when I was around… fifteen years old. Though at the time we weren't sure if it was something that would be a permanent issue or not. Teenagers sometimes 'grow out of it' so to speak after they become adults." * so it was before our fight… though not much before it. *

"What about your depression? You said that was later right?" Genki seemed to understand what she was doing now.

"It was discovered later yes, it didn't flare up until I was seventeen. Though from what we found out it was probably there along side my anxiety the whole time. It just happen to be masked by it at the time."

"So it flared up and that's how you discovered it?"

"Much like my brother yes. Holly… if you are trying to blame yourself for my depression, don't. That is completely beyond your control or mine. I'm aware you feel guilty but my issues are not your fault." She looked surprised by his statement, Granity looked concerned now. * I hope he was interpreting her questions wrong…. He's right these issues weren't caused by her. *

"Genki… you are right, those issues were not my fault but your flare up was. I was actually trying to get an understanding of when things happened… but yes I do feel guilty for causing that flare up." Genki seemed to search her eyes a moment,

"Holly… you couldn't have known that day the impact it would have. I never told you of my anxiety… and I was unaware of my depression at the time. Do not blame yourself for this." He made sure she understood him before he looked away. He glanced to Granity who nodded, understanding is unasked question. When he glanced back to Holly he could see her confusion and uncertainty. He sighed, "Holly I will talk with you about our fight soon… right now I can't. You definitely helped me release some of this but… I'm still close to my edge. I need time to deal with my stress before we do this or it won't be a productive conversation. I also need to be able to think clearly… I can't do that on while I'm on my medication. It interferes way too much for things to work out well."

"Wait it makes it hard for you to think?" Granity grew concerned now,

"It makes it hard for me to focus… it's like being in a mental fog part of the time." Holly wasn't sure about his medication now. * if they are affecting him adversely like that then perhaps he's right to only use them when he has to. *

"Genki what about your third issue? When did it show up?" He paused a moment before answering,

"The chronic stress disorder didn't get discovered until I was in my twenties but it was probably there the whole time."

"It amplifies your anxiety doesn't it?"

"It does at times yes." Granity had been thinking quietly to herself, she had a good understanding of why he hated his medication now. This brought up another mystery, how then was he dealing with it?

"Genki… you said you used other methods to deal with these issues. What are you using?" He glanced over at her, he could see the concern in her eyes but also a yearning. He wasn't blind, he knew both women were very worried about him at this point.

"I'm using a combination of things. You already saw the yoga I use. That isn't just for physical stress, it also effects me on a mental and emotional level. I also do meditation to help deal with my mental stress, sometimes it can also provide an emotional release as well. I've been looking into the emotional side more lately, reading up on chakras and how to re-balance them. The yoga and meditation I do along with a few other exercises will help with those." He trailed off as he thought of other things he did, he didn't really think about it much anymore. "There's always the other relaxing hobbies I have as well. They also help with my stress levels. Though one of the big things that helps is just helping other people with things." Granity was silent a moment before asking,

"What does meditation do exactly? And what are chakras?" He seemed to need more time to put this into words. It wasn't a simple concept, hell there were entire books written on the subject because of that.

"Meditation is a process and experience all in one. It's a way to reset oneself mentally and emotionally. Sometimes it can also be a spiritual thing, though that is up to the user. Often times it's specifically used to release stress, promote mental clarity, and a calm emotional state. It can also be used to train ones attention and awareness, depending on how it's used." Granity seemed to me thoughtful for a moment before asking,

"Is it different then your Yoga?"

"Yes, though there are some Yoga positions that are often used with it. If someones is experienced enough they can meditate and do Yoga at the same time. The motions used for the Yoga exercise will need to come naturally though and without thought. At that point its muscle memory driving the motions not cognitive thought." He smiled seeing her still looking a little confused, "Most of the time meditation is more of a stationary activity. When I do it, I'm generally seated; my focus is inward not on what my body is doing at the time." Holly seemed to be following him a little better than Granity,

"So it's kind of a self reflection then, looking inside and trying to find a way to release things?" Genki smiled to her and nodded,

"Yes, that's the gist of it."

"What about the chakras? What are those?"

"Chakras are… energy centers within the body. The belief is that if one is blocked and can't either send or receive energy efficiently that it affects us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Much like how a muscle can still function even when it has knots in it, these will also still function and send Prana, life energy, throughout the body. It's just a lot less efficient in that state, and can cause issues."

"Much like how a muscle is weaker than if it doesn't have knots?"

"Basically yes." He paused thinking a moment, "to fix them you basically need to exercise the energy in that area to unblock the flow. There are seven major chakras in the body, each governs something different. I've been working on two so far, trying to deal with my issues. I only recently got into this but I know that there is another chakra that has a lot of blocks in it. I just haven't gotten to it yet. It's recommended to work from the lowest one up, so that's what I have been doing. Mostly working with what's called the root chakra, since it can affect anxiety." he shrugged, he knew this would likely get confusing fast. * she really should read a book if she wants to know more… I still have issues explaining this stuff since I just started using it… * Both ladies seemed confused but Holly decided to probe more,

"What are the seven chakras?" Genki raised a brow, she was at least intrigued.

"I'll tell you the name and location and a brief summary of each… well what I can remember. I only just started using this and I was mainly focused on some of the lower ones as they seem to be the ones with issues." He saw her nod as he closed his eyes to think, "The first is the root chakra which is located at the base of the spine inside the pelvis, it has a lot of do with survival needs and that includes the flight or fight response, hence it's like with anxiety. But it's known to affect ones stability and will power as well." He reopened his eyes now seeing them both attentive and listening to him. "Next is the Sacral chakra which is located in the lower abdomen, it has to do with ones sense of well being, creativity, optimism, and sexual pleasure. It can also affect depression from what I heard. I have been working on this one as well." He noted Holly turned red at the mention of sexual pleasure but didn't ask. Granity seemed mildly amused by her embarrassment. "above that is the Solar Plexus which is located in the upper abdomen. This one affects ones self esteem and self worth, as well as ones compassion for others." Granity smiled,

"Guess that one is good for you huh?"

"It only has minor issues in comparison." he chuckled, "Each of these also has physical effects as well since they do control certain organs. Emotionally and mentally I am fine with this one, not so much physically. However, I decided to work with the lower two first to see if the imbalance was there and not higher up." He saw her nod, he noticed Holly seemed to be deep in thought for a moment before he saw her eyes connect with his again. "The next one up is the Heart chakra, which is located along the spine behind the heart. This one controls both self love and love for others, it also has a lot to do with interpersonal relationships and openness within those relationships as well as empathy." He saw Granity's eyes widen,

"Is this the other one that's blocked for you?" He chuckled, * well that didn't take long and I didn't even go into the blocked effects… * He nodded,

"Yes this one is all kinds of messed up for me right now. It's been a real struggle." He gave her a look that said wait till I finish and she nodded letting him continue.

"Next is the throat chakra which gives it's location away in it's name. This one controls communication and expression of ones self, as well as how we understand others. The third eye chakra is located in the forehead between the eyes. This one controls intuition, imagination, and wisdom." He noticed the ladies looked less mystified now but he knew that would return shortly. "The final chakra is the crown chakra and it's the only one located outside of the body, believe to be just above the head. This one is basically a spiritual chakra that is more about spiritual awareness than anything." He saw them both sharing a glance.

"Do you believe in these… on the spiritual side?"

"I believe in the flow of energy within our bodies… the spiritual stuff… not so much with me. But I have always been about exploring possibilities and trying new things. This is no different. If it works great, if not then I continue my search." He shrugged,

"You said your Heart chakra is messed up? Can it be unblocked?"

"It can yes… though it's going to take… a lot of time and energy to do so." He glanced to Holly then sighed, "and some help. I believe our fight was what blocked this one. Until we resolve things… I can't really do much with this one. Which is why I have been avoiding it." Holly's eyes widened, she then looked concerned.

"I'll help however I can Genki… I want you to be able to heal." He smiled sadly and nodded,

"I'm not the only one who needs to heal Holly." He saw her eyes widen, she looked away for a moment seemingly unsure of what to say. * He must have felt it when we connected… I didn't think I was that open but then…. I was desperate to help him. Perhaps it's time… * She sighed finally then met his steady gaze.

"Your right… you aren't the only one. However, I'm more concerned about you at this point. I've been selfish enough, your pain will come first." He shook his head,

"We will need to help each other I think for this to work. It will be a slow process but I'm sure it can be done." He closed his eyes, next thing he felt was her forehead against his own. He smiled slightly at this affection.

"Genki… I know we can't talk about it yet, that's fine. Will you let me apologize?" He remained still a moment before speaking softly.

"I will and you can if you feel you need to." He remained where he was, enjoying their closeness despite his inner fear. He didn't want fear controlling him, nor would he stop her from expressing herself.

"I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for how I acted back then, for how I have hurt you over something as stupid as fear. I never meant to imply by my actions that your love meant nothing to me or that I never loved you. I do love you, I always have and always will. Your love meant far more then even I realized that day. I don't know if you can forgive me or if I can earn your trust again. All I want now is to help you heal, to give you closure so you can finally be out of pain." Holly paused a moment before she continued, "From the bottom of my heart I'm sorry, I was wrong and I never should have hurt you. Can you ever forgive me for what I have done?" Genki listened to her words and found that she hadn't rehearsed them, no these were her genuine feelings. He listened to his own heart, though trembling in fear and in pain; he could forgive her. He never really found himself holding onto resentment.

"Holly, I can and do forgive you. Apology accepted. We will be working on things between us soon. For now I need a reprieve, I still have to deal with my stress before we can be productive. I want us both to find some closure… whatever that may look like." He felt her pull him close, he chuckled at her reaction.

"Thank you Genki…" He smiled, he could see she was crying again, he was sure she was relieved that he would allow her to help. His hand brushed a few tears away.

"Why don't we go eat? I can try it now… my stomach is less queasy. After that I will need to go meditate. You can stay here if you like, it's up to you."

"I would assume I wouldn't witness anything while you meditate?" Granity inquired,

"Just me sitting perfectly still… there not much you can see per say." he smiled to her, she nodded in return.

"Alright, then I'll leave you to it. I have a few books to read anyway." He nodded, slowly he disentangled himself from Holly, somewhat reluctantly, and sat up in bed. He would move slow until he was sure he wouldn't pass out. Once he was on his feet he headed downstairs, the two ladies following him to make sure he was alright. He smiled seeing the food on the table, Granity had covered it so it might still be warm, if not he would reheat it. He saw her blush slightly after Holly commented to her about her improving cooking skill. * She definitely cooks very well for a monster. * Genki sat down to eat, wondering how he would manage to get through the week without another attack. * I can only hope that talking things out with Granity might help… if not then today is just the start of my issues. *

AAN: another long chapter, working towards a resolution for these two. Hopefully will happen in a few more chapters at the most. Then we can get out of the heavy atmosphere and into a lighter one. More comedy next chapter I promise. I did some basic research on everything in this chapter. It won't be a hundred percent accurate but it should be close. Please R&R.