Author's note: Enjoy!
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the canon, world, and characters portrayed below and you can tell I'm not J.K. Rowling because #transrights
Warnings: Canon character deaths alluded to; grief; critical injuries
The First Moment of Peace
It was 10:00 a.m. but Tonks had been aware for over 36 hours, give or take a few power naps while her son had been napping or in Remus' arms. She hadn't stopped moving since the battle had started—when she'd left Teddy with her mum and sent word to the Aurors in the department she still trusted to try and rally them to the castle too. She'd only run into Remus once during that time, when she'd seen him in the Great Hall after Voldemort had pulled back his force. They'd both been herding fighters back into a safe place and carrying in the dead and the injured. He had not been happy to see her but there had been too much to do more than ask about Teddy and tell her she shouldn't have come—which of course she knew she shouldn't have, but how could she have stayed home? How?
Her lack of sleep was starting to catch up to her now that the adrenaline of the battle had gone. She was at St. Mungo's now. They had sealed Hogwarts' grounds from intruders with protective charms for now—they'd have to figure out how to get the students their things later on, as they'd been sent home early for now. Repairing the castle was a project for even later. For now, there were too many injured and too many dead and too many Death Eaters who had vanished into the night for that to be their priority. She knew that she'd be called in to help track some of them down given her particular skillset and experience in long-term investigations eventually, but she'd been hit by falling debris and had needed to go to St. Mungo's herself to have a healer look at her head. An entire floor had been sealed off for those coming out of the Battle of Hogwarts, Order fighters, DA members, random participations, and Death Eaters alike. Tonks did not like that Rabastan Lestrange was shackled to a bed and having his leg mended a room away from where Remus was laying, stable but unconscious, but she kept that to herself. There were enough wands around that nobody would try anything. At least she had managed to blast Antonin Dolohov out of this world for what he'd done to her husband.
She had stumbled out of Remus' room to take a break—there were only so many dead loved ones and friends you could see in one day before watching your husband lay in pain became too much to bear. She found a waiting area in the hall with uncomfortable blue chairs and sat down, taking her weight off her feet for what felt like the first time in hours. Merlin, she was sore. Her abdomen was cramped and her chest ached, reminding her that she hadn't fed the baby in a hot minute. She supposed there was an argument to be made that charging into battle four weeks postpartum was a terrible idea, but she didn't want to bother any of the Healers running around the ward like maniacs for dittany at a time like this.
She leaned back in the chair and rested her head against the wall, trying to think of what to do next. She should check on Remus again. She should try to find Ginny, who had seen her brother die and her ex-boyfriend temporarily dead and who deserved to be checked in on. She'd sent word to Mum already by Patronus, but she should send her an update. Kingsley would surely have something to do, to put her to work…
Her eyes shot open again when she heard a familiar voice.
"Let me in! No, of course I wasn't fighting at the Battle, but my whole family is in there—I was a Healer for thirty years, I don't care about the visitor policy—let me in!"
She bounced to her feet (owe owe owe) and turned, wand raised, to the end of the hall. She saw a Healer trying to reason with her mother who was fighting to get past the door frame, looking absolutely unlike herself. Her greying curly hair was down, which it never was in public, and her cool composure was absolutely gone. She had a diaper bag thrown over her shoulder and she was holding something small and precious against her chest as she argued.
"Mum," Tonks said. The Healer turned around which gave Mum the window she needed to rush in past them.
"Nymphadora, oh thank Merlin!"
Tonks ran to her and wrapped her arms around her Mum, feeling Mum melt against her.
"You're okay," Mum kept repeating. "You're okay…"
"I'm okay, Mum, I promise. Just like I told you, I'm okay."
"I don't care that you sent a Patronus Nymphadora, I needed to see you for myself," Mum said.
Tonks let go of her Mum and peeled herself away so she could look at the little one curled up in her arms. Teddy was suckling on a pacifier that matched his wispy bubblegum pink hair. Possibly he had matched his hair to the pacifier. Or possibly he had been trying to match with her, calling for her, she thought with a pang of guilt. His eyes were bright sky blue and Mum had dressed him in the navy blue onesie covered in stars that Tonks loved.
"Hi sweetness," she said breathlessly. She picked up the baby from Mum's arms and kissed his forehead, feeling herself melt all over again. She hadn't left Teddy since he'd been born to do anything longer than take a shower. This was like holding him for the first time all over again. "Oh, hello baby boy… hello…"
She buried her nose in Teddy's hair, taking in the new baby smell.
"He slept well," Mum told her. "I had to run to the shops and get him formula, though, and he didn't like it…"
"That's alright," Tonks said, kissing the top of Teddy's little head.
"Where's Remus?" Mum asked.
"Room 117," Tonks sighed. "He's better, stable, but not woken up yet. They're still giving him a Blood-Replenishing Potion, but they… they think he'll wake up."
"Oh thank Merlin. I have to see him," Mum said decisively, putting the bag down.
"You… what?" Tonks asked, somewhat surprised. As she and Remus' relationship had settled down and grown steadier and throughout her pregnancy, Mum had stopped harbouring quite as much resentment or suspicion towards him—but this level of concern and protectiveness was still…
"Of course I do," Mum said, clucking her tongue. "You hold your son, I have to go see mine."
Tonks's eyes watered instantly. Fatigue definitely played a part but she was quite generally overwhelmed.
"I love you," she said.
"I love you too," Mum said, patting her arm again before dashing off.
Tonks took a deep breath and looked down at the baby in her arms, who was already starting to fall asleep—as infants did. She rocked him and gently kicked the diaper bag Mum had dumped so that it was tucked away under a chair, out of the way. When she looked up again she saw Harry, framed by Ron and Hermione and Ginny, ducking out of a hospital room. He had been visiting the injured all morning. When he made eye contact with her his eyes widened when he saw that she was holding a baby. She shot him a wink and his feet changed directions as he immediately came over.
"Wotcher," she said.
"Hey," Harry said. He looked about as exhausted as she did, although thankfully he'd managed to squeeze in a nap in Gryffindor Tower before they had locked the castle down. "How's Remus?"
"They say he'll be alright," Tonks said. "He's already looking much better than he did when they brought him in."
As much as Harry cared about Remus, his eyes were squarely fixed on Teddy. Ron looked a little shocked at the sight of a baby and Hermione held her hand over her mouth.
"I didn't think this was how you were going to meet your godson," Tonks said. "But this is Teddy."
"Neither did I," Harry said. "He's so… little."
Tonks smiled.
"He's bigger by the week," she said. "He's huge compared to what he started off as."
Harry still looked pretty stunned, as if after months on the run, multiple narrow escapes, an impossible heist at Gringotts, a battle, and a near-death experience this baby was what was going to break him.
"He's so cute," Ginny finally said.
"Thanks," Tonks said, which was the thing she'd learned to say even if she wasn't at all responsible for her son's looks given his Metamorphmagus status. Then again, maybe she was. She smiled as she looked down at Teddy, even if smiling felt exhausting. She looked up at Harry again. "Do you want to hold him?"
"Me?" Harry asked, blushing.
"Yes," Tonks said. "Well, you can all have a turn if you wash your hands, but you should definitely hold him."
"I… I've never held a baby before," Harry said.
"I'm sure you'll manage it," Tonks said. "Come, sit down."
The four of them eagerly sat down in the waiting areas, Hermione casting a quick Scourgify on everyone's hands before she sat down next to Ron. They sat a little closer together than they usually would and she decided to file that information away for later.
She gently lowered Teddy in Harry's waiting arms.
"Just watch his head," Tonks said. "Make sure to hold his head, there you are…"
She slipped her hands away when Harry had Teddy, and let him look down in shock at the slumbering baby he was holding. Ginny reached over to touch Teddy's tiny feet.
"Look at his toes, his toes are so small," she said.
"All of him is so small," Harry said, clearly overwhelmed. Tonks smiled and watched them, longing for Remus to be watching too. She felt guilty for that too; he wasn't gone. She hadn't lost him, not like others had been lost…
"Oh, goodness," she heard someone say behind her. She looked over her shoulder and saw Molly, who looked devastatingly pale and frail but whose eyes latched onto Teddy. "Oh, dear, is that..?"
"It's Teddy," Harry said looking up. "It's my godson."
"Oh, sweetheart…" Molly said. She wrapped her arms around Tonks (owe owe owe). "Oh, Tonks, he's beautiful."
"Thanks," she said again. "He's morphing right now, but sometimes when he's busy eating and isn't doing it he has his dad's eyes."
There were some general pleased cooing sounds when she said it and Molly patted her arm again.
A crowd became drawn to the baby—including Healers and student-aged witches and wizards that Tonks vaguely recognized but assumed were from the DA. Many of them were whispering around 'Professor Lupin's baby' which confirmed her hunch and was also so heartwarming, she would have to tell Remus when he woke up. Minerva McGonagall limped out of a hospital room, leaning on a cane, and seemed flabbergasted at the sight of Teddy. Kingsley saw the baby for the first time too, joining the crowd as he held an ice pack to his cheek. Sirius was there too, staying in the shape of a big black dog so that nobody would try to send him back to Azkaban at a time like this, curling up at Harry's feet.
Harry didn't let go of Teddy or look away anytime soon, and Tonks was tempted to slip away and go check on Remus again, but she was mesmerized by the scene before her. The Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One who had appeared before them dead hours earlier but had somehow lived on, holding a tiny newborn who had no idea what was going around him, surrounded by a crowd experiencing their first moment of quiet and peace in hours, days, weeks, or months.
Her mother slipped out of the hospital room and came to put an arm around her waist. She leaned her head against her mum and took a deep breath.
"Keep an eye on him," she said quietly. "I have to go tell Remus about this."
"He hasn't woken up yet," Mum said, her voice just as hushed.
"I know," Tonks said. "But hope is something worth waking up for."
WC: 2047