AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Hey, so, remember last chapter... when I said nobody had time to read +10k words in one sitting? Well here's Part II, clocking in at +10k words.

CHAPTER ELEVEN | SELF-DESTRUCT

Axel all but tumbled from the Lanes Between, leaping from Heart's Flame and dismissing it still in glider form as he stumbled and sprinted towards the castle. He raced up the stairs and barrelled through the doors, lungs burning as he leant heavily against the cold stone wall.

"KAIRI!"

Silence. He grit his teeth and pushed off from the wall, ignoring the lead in his limbs and the light-headedness that made him dizzy. He had already pushed himself too far, stringing together burst attacks that were tough enough on their own, and now he had to search an entire castle (an entire world) for someone who probably didn't want to be found.

Xigbar was lying. No, not Xigbar. Luxu. Luxu. The name left a horrible taste in Axel's mouth. It wasn't the name so much as the way Kairi had said it; Axel had never heard her sound so angry before, so venomous. There had been a note of such personal hatred laced in to a single word that had made Axel's skin crawl.

I'd say I've probably bought her enough time.

The words echoed through Axel's head as he came to a halt, torn between two paths. Outside or in? Up or down? Time was of the essence, and if he didn't get to her soon… He didn't know all that much about hearts, certainly not as much as Ven or Aqua or Mickey, but a destroyed heart did not sound like a good thing in any way.

She'll have run along home to finish what she started.

Axel's legs trembled beneath him and he leant heavily against the wall. How did you release a heart? He'd lost his once but he remembered little more than white walls and black cloaks. He wasn't sure how he would go about releasing his own, but he didn't expect he would want to do it in a kitchen or a dining room. Nor the arena. It sounded intimate, personal, the kind of thing you might try to do in the privacy of your own room.

He pushed himself up the stairs, battling exhaustion as he hauled himself towards Kairi's room where he crashed against the wall before pounding heavily on the door.

"Kairi?"

He didn't expect a response, but the silence made his stomach lurch regardless. He twisted the handle and tried to open the door. It creaked open by the smallest fraction before colliding with something heavy. He rattled it several times and the thing rattled back, accompanied by a chorus of clinking glass and creaking wood.

"Kairi, please, let me in!"

Nothing. She had to be inside, or else how could she have blocked the door? And even if she had been in her room and escaped through the window, what would be the point of running back here to block the door only to disappear? He grit his teeth and shunted again and again, throwing his full weight against the door over and over until his shoulder ached and the gap was wide enough for him to squeeze through. He stumbled in to the room, kicking the chest of drawers (how had she moved that on her own?) for good measure before he finally caught sight of her.

She was lying in the bed, her breathing slow and even. She looked so peaceful… There was no sign that she had fled from Luxu or that she had even left the castle at all, and if it hadn't been for the dresser behind the door Axel could have convinced himself that perhaps it had all been some kind of dream or hallucination that she'd been with them at all.

But why barricade herself in her room to sleep? It didn't make any sense. And if she was just sleeping, why hadn't she told him to go away? Or woken up at all? He had made so much noise coming in to the room that it would have been impossible to sleep through it.

"Kairi?"

No response. He took a step closer to the bed and was rewarded with the clink of glass as his toe connected with something small. The phial rolled across the carpet, spilling liquid crystals as it knocked in to a second and then a third; drunk in haste and quickly discarded. Axel picked it up to study it, wishing he'd paid more attention to Aqua in the synthesis lab. He knew his potions from his ethers, and elixirs were unmistakeable, but none of them looked like this.

It was familiar though, and it took several seconds of searching his memories before he could figure out where he'd seen them before. Kairi's first night after awakening, when Ven had come bustling in to her room with his arms full of phials. Sleeping draughts to help calm the mind, Ven had explained after handing them to Aqua. Axel knew Kairi had been having trouble sleeping, but it seemed somehow wrong that she had decided to take a nap now.

Slowly his exhausted mind fitted the pieces together. He thought about how Aqua made them look inside themselves to see their hearts, how it had taken time for Axel to quieten his own thoughts and how Kairi had struggled. How sleeping draughts calmed the mind. How ever since learning to synthesise potions, Kairi been training less, eating less, sleeping more. How Riku had described her heart after returning from his first attempt to wake her:

Shattered.

She'd destroy her own heart before she would be able to release it!

The phial slipped from his fingers, clattering against the others as he dove to Kairi's side. He gripped her shoulder and shook her.

"Kairi! KAIRI!"

Her body was limp like a rag doll. Her head lolled to the side and he caught the tear that raced down her cheek. He crumpled to the floor, dragging her in to his arms and curling himself around her, placing his forehead against hers.

"Please, Kairi, don't do this!" The first tear came then, racing down his cheek and splashing against hers. He held his breath, hoping against hope for a miracle, and when she remained lifeless a sob rose in his throat that threatened to choke him. He closed his eyes, feeling her cool skin against his as he reached for his heart, searching for the thread that connected it to hers. It was pulled taught close to breaking. He wrapped himself around it and tugged-

He felt weightless. It took a moment to realise he was falling. When he opened his eyes he was surrounded by a great white void that pressed at him from all sides, threatening to suffocate him. There was a coldness here; a great despair that kept pulling him down, wrapping itself around his chest and squeezing the air from his lungs until it hurt to breathe. He spied something up ahead – distant and glistening and accompanied by a distinct feeling of wrongness that it was a struggle to keep going.

He'd never seen a heart station before, but Roxas and Xion had described them to him. They were both intimately familiar with Sora's, after all, and had even glimpsed their own. Axel knew enough to know how they were supposed to look – a mural, like stained glass, depicting the people that mattered most. They were supposed to be beautiful; a pure representation of the heart's truest connections and desires.

They weren't supposed to look like this.

The circle was shattered, its pieces drifting apart and leaving gaping voids between them that plummeted in to darkness. Axel could just about make out the picture they should have painted; a beach on one side, a garden on the other, and Kairi stood in the centre of several silhouettes with her hands clutched over her heart. All the fissures started from there, spiralling outwards from her fingers, as though even her heart couldn't hide the fact that Kairi was pulling herself apart at the seams.

How had the others missed it?

As he drew closer he found himself buffeted from all sides by a furious wind. Shards of glass spiralled through the air and several lanced across his skin as his feet finally made contact with the remains of the platform. It tilted dangerously under his weight and he tumbled to his knees, clutching at his chest as the crushing despair tightened its grip.

"K… Kairi!"

He heard the familiar bell-like ring of Destiny's Embrace as it whistled through the air. He spied her several feet away, hacking recklessly at the largest chunk of her heart. He called to her again but he doubted she would have heard him over the wind even if she was willing to listen. He grit his teeth and forced himself to breathe against the pain before summoning Heart's Flame and using it to drag himself back to his feet. He picked his way towards her, leaping from one shard to the next until he was close enough to throw himself in her path, blocking her keyblade with his and screaming her name.

Red-rimmed eyes bulged at the sight of him. Her lips moved soundlessly as tears continued to pour down her cheeks. She tugged at Destiny's Embrace but their teeth were locked together, and as she reached forwards to try and separate them Axel sent a wash of fire along Heart's Flame that danced over her crystalline petals.

"Kairi, you have to stop!"

"I have to save Sora!" she cried.

"You can't, not like this," he said. "Xigbar – Luxu told us what you're trying to do. It won't work." She tugged at their keyblades again and Axel twisted, locking her in place.

"You're just saying that-"

"You can't release your own heart." She banished her keyblade and leapt back; Axel stumbled forwards as the resistance fell away. Destiny's Embrace reappeared in her trembling hand.

"He told me you would try and stop me." She tightened her grip, placing her second hand around the hilt as she dropped low. "I won't let you."

"So you'll trust him before you'll trust me? Kairi-" She charged, swinging her keyblade high overhead and releasing a wild scream. The crack in her voice hurt more than any of the hits that she landed against him. A moment's pause between combinations allowed him to bring up a shield, deflecting her next attack and sending her skidding backwards through the whirlwind of glass.

"Kairi, of course we would try and stop you," he said. "All you're going to do is destroy your own heart, and that won't help Sora-"

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do," he said. "Mickey figured it out and Luxu confirmed it. He wants you to do this-" He barely had time to block as she charged again, and their keyblades clashed with a deafening ring.

"I have to do this," she sobbed, pushing against him so hard that she trembled from head to toe (not that Axel was faring much better). "I can't lose him again-"

"And I can't lose you!"

Something shifted behind her eyes. Her resolve weakened just enough for Axel to gain the upper hand; he twisted his keyblade around hers and sent Destiny's Embrace spiralling through the air where it disappeared in a shower of sparks that were swallowed by the whirlwind.

"But, Sora-"

"I don't give a damn about Sora!" Her lip trembled and she shook her head, stepping away from him.

"You don't mean that." Her feet were too close to the edge; one more step… He lurched forwards, grabbing her arms to keep her from tumbling in to the void below. She looked up at him, lip trembling as she shivered in his grasp. Her eyes bored in to his, pleading with him. "Tell me you don't mean it."

"You're right, I don't," he said, pulling her slowly back from the ledge, "but I care less about him than I do about you. Please, Kairi, I can't lose you again."

"But we need Sora," she argued.

"And I need you," he countered. She clenched her eyes shut, shaking her head fiercely.

"Nobody needs me." The words struck him like a knife to his heart, leaving him reeling and short of breath. The despair squeezed at his heart again, this time accompanied by a sense of hopelessness that left his knees weak and his stomach roiling.

"Kairi, you can't think that. Tell me you don't think that!" She twisted and wriggled, trying to escape his grip, but he held her tightly. "Kairi, look at me!" She refused, clenching her eyes shut and fighting against him. She tried reaching up to break his hold, driving her elbows in to his forearms like he had taught her, but her attempt was weak and hardly strong enough to make him lose his grip. "Kairi, talk to me-"

"People need Sora," she said. "They already lost him once because of me, and then after he found me I couldn't keep him safe. This is all my fault, Axel, and I have to set it right."

"You don't have to sacrifice yourself to do it!" he snapped.

"Yes, I do-" He shook her, hard; rough enough that she finally looked at him again.

"Luxu tricked you! I don't know what he told you, but he lied. Him and his friends, they all lied so that you would destroy yourself-"

"That's not true!" she shouted. "I know what I have to do. If I can release my own heart and go back to before-"

"So you want to be like Xehanort?" Her eyes narrowed and he spied a spark burning behind her eyes.

"No!" she spat. "I'm not doing it for power, I'm doing it to save Sora-"

"And you honestly think that if you stood a chance at doing that, Luxu would let you out of his sight? Think, Kairi! Please!" She writhed again, twisting this way and that as she dug her nails in to his arms.

"You don't understand-"

"Then help me!" he begged. "Please, Kairi, help me figure this out."

"You were all supposed to stop me," she answered. "That's why he sent me back to you. I wasn't supposed to get this far-"

"And yet you did," he countered. "You're smart, Kairi, there was always a chance that you'd get away with it. Do you honestly think that he'd take that risk if there was even the smallest possibility that you might just do it?" The tears had stopped now and sadness had been replaced by anger. She narrowed her eyes and grit her teeth and tried again to twist out of his grasp.

"We'd find out if you'd let me go!" Her boot collided with his shin and he groaned. His grip loosened enough that she slipped from his grasp, though she wasn't quick enough to escape him entirely; he reached out again, snaring her wrist and holding her tight.

Time to try a different approach.

"Do you know what I think?" She twisted, tearing her wrist from his fingers but he was ready; he ducked around her elbow and reached for her waist, using both arms to drag her in. Her heel came down on his foot as her elbow jabbed him in the gut and he wheezed and readjusted his grip to trap her arms too. "I think Luxu wanted to let you believe you were in control because you wanted it. You spent so long feeling powerless that it was all too easy to make you think you had the upper hand. He played you-" Her head collided with his nose and it sent him reeling. She twisted out of his arms and shoved him away before leaping out of his reach.

"That's not true!" she screamed. He hadn't expected it to strike such a nerve, but as the blinding pain in his face subsided he found her glaring at him. Destiny's Embrace appeared in her hands again and she rushed towards him, barely giving him time to bring up Heart's Flame to block her next barrage.

"Ask yourself, Kairi, what's more likely?" He parried her next two attacks before responding with a series of his own. "You being able to rip out your own heart to travel back in time and stop all of this from happening-" He ducked as an icicle whizzed past his head, clipping his ear. He returned with a volley of fireballs that struck her across the chest and sent her stumbling backwards. "Or you tearing yourself apart from the inside while he makes Sora watch, unable to save you-"

"Shut up!"

Light. Everything disappeared behind a curtain of blinding white that burned him from the inside out and froze him from the outside in until everything hurt. He was weightless again, falling, saved from breathing by the crushing weight that struck him square in the chest. She was pushing him out.

NO!

He felt himself returning to his own body and he fought it, clinging to their connection with every part of his heart as he slowly dragged himself back. Something began to push him from behind – a warm, encouraging presence that helped him fight his way back in against the tide of that pushed him from all sides – and after a moment the light finally began to fade.

The wind had stopped. The shards of glass had scattered themselves across what remained of her ruined heart station that creaked and groaned quietly as it finally came to rest. Kairi lay in the middle, curled amidst the shattered shards as she wept in to her knees. Her sobs echoed through the silence as Axel carefully picked his way from one shard to the next until he was kneeling at her side and drawing her in to his arms. She fought him, pounding weakly against his chest and writhing in his grip before finally submitting. Axel felt the emotions swirling around him; despair, hopelessness, exhaustion and – slowly taking form – a bubble of acceptance and regret that made his throat tighten painfully.

"Kairi."

Aqua was here. She stood several chunks away, watching them both carefully as Kairi's crying slowly came to a stop. Eventually Kairi peeled herself out of Axel's arms and knelt in the glass, trembling hands clasped tightly in her lap.

"I'm so s-sorry," she whimpered. She choked out a half-sob and bent double, clutching at her chest as she pressed her forehead to her knees. Aqua closed the distance between them, carefully stepping from one ledge to another until she could kneel on Kairi's other side. She reached out a hand to rub slow, comforting circles across Kairi's trembling back.

"No, Kairi," Aqua murmured. "I'm the one who is sorry. I should have realised sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't be the Master you deserved." Axel forced himself to bite back a snide remark.

"We can all apologise to each other later," he said instead. "Let's just get back to our own bodies and then we'll talk it out." Aqua looked at him hesitantly as Kairi murmured something in to her knees. "What was that?"

"I don't think I can go back," she whimpered. "It hurts…"

"It's going to be okay," Aqua soothed. Kairi shook her head, eyes wide and filled with panic.

"What if I can never wake up? What if-"

"Don't worry about what-if's," Aqua countered calmly, though Axel didn't miss the panic that flashed across her face. "Your heart is hurting, that's all; it just needs some time to heal." Kairi looked around then, taking in the devastation with wide, watery eyes.

"I've made such a mess," she whispered. "I've ruined everything." The despair was rising again, accompanied by other shadows – thoughts and fears too dark to name – and Axel reached out to shake her shoulders.

"Stop that!" he snapped. Aqua jumped. "This isn't your fault, y'hear me?"

"But Axel, I-"

"You are not weak," he said firmly. She stared at him, stunned, and he squeezed her shoulders tightly. "You've been through so much more than any of us and you're still here to tell the tale. You're strong, Kairi. You're so strong." She bowed her head with a grimace and clutched at her heart.

"I don't feel strong," she sniffled. "I feel so stupid."

"Well, you're not," Axel chided. "You're the brains in our little outfit, Kairi. I need you." She shook her head.

"You don't," she said. "You have Roxas and Xion and-"

"Fine, then. I don't need you, but I want you. You're my friend, Kairi, and I want you by my side." That seemed to strike a chord; he felt it resonate in a rush of warmth that wrapped itself around them, ruffling her hair across her tear-stained cheeks as she looked up at him.

"You… you do?" she asked. "Even after…" She trailed off with a wince as her fingers tugged at the fabric over her heart. He carefully placed his hand over hers.

"Of course," he said. "We're a team. We're in this together, no matter what."

"I want you too," Aqua added, reaching out to hold Kairi's other hand, "if you'll still have me." Kairi nodded.

"If you still want me as your student," she said. "I'd understand if-"

"Of course I do!" Aqua countered quickly. "I promised to help you, Kairi, and I intend to keep that promise."

"Can you… can you help me fix this?" Kairi asked softly. Aqua faltered then, her small smile falling away completely as she cupped Kairi's cheek softly.

"I… I'm sorry, I don't know how," she said. "But Mickey or Yen Sid, or maybe the Good Fairies… we'll find someone who knows a way." Fear flashed across Kairi's face and her fingers tightened around Axel's.

"But it h-hurts," she whimpered. "I've done so much damage… what if I can never go back? What if I've ruined everything and I can never-"

"Hey, take it easy," Axel soothed. Her breath was coming in short gasps and her fingers were trembling. He forced a smile and squeezed gently. "You're going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay. We're gonna get you all fixed up in no time, right, Aqua?" His eyes met Aqua's and he arched an eyebrow. Aqua looked around, assessing the damage, before turning her attention back to her apprentice. Kairi was watching her carefully, and every passing second brought more worried creases to the corners of her eyes.

"What if… What if you went to sleep for a while, Kairi? At least until we can find a way to heal your heart." She shook her head with a determined sniff.

"I can't," she said firmly. "Sora needs me." Axel's stomach tightened painfully.

"Hey, you let us worry about Sora for a while," Axel urged. "Focus on yourself first, okay?"

"It might not even take that long," Aqua added. "Even if you just slept through the worst of the pain while we speak to the others and find the best way to help you." Kairi shook her head again, pulling her hands back to scrub at her cheeks.

"No, it's… I'll be okay." She lifted her head and flashed them a smile that was so forced and paper thin Axel thought it might just tear her apart. "It doesn't h-hurt as much now, I was just being dramatic. We can g-go back and talk it out-"

"Kairi-" Aqua pressed.

"I'll be f-fine," she pressed, her smile thin and bordering on broken. Her shoulders trembled. "You're right, maybe Y-Yen Sid will know how to f-fix this."

"Do you have to be so stubborn?" Axel snapped. Her smile fell away faster than it had appeared. "We can feel your pain, Kairi. It's no wonder you don't want to go back."

"It's… it's not-" He surged forwards, gripping her shoulders and shaking her firmly.

"Do you have any idea how strong you are?" he asked. He felt her disbelief rising, swirling around him ready to argue, so he shook her again. "You've been fighting with a broken heart and you've still been kicking ass. Imagine how much stronger you'll be when your heart is healed."

He felt the fight fall away as she considered it, and he hated himself for suggesting it. Was it too much to ask that she consider saving herself for her own benefit, and not someone else's? He hated that it took the thought of power to bring her to her senses.

It was no wonder Luxu had been able to manipulate her so easily.

"But… Sora…" That same argument again, but weaker this time. Aqua reached out, placing a gentle hand on Kairi's shoulder.

"Luxu told us where Sora is, and he wouldn't have done that if it wasn't some kind of trap," she said. "We'll need time to regroup and plan, and that could take days or… or maybe even weeks. You should take that time to heal and get your strength back."

"Think about it," Axel added, "your strength plus your knowledge of what that creep and his friends have been up to before you came back to us… You could be the key to getting Sora back." The doubt started to rise again, bringing a chill that made the hairs on the back of Axel's neck stand up. He fought it as best he could, latching on to their connection and pushing everything he could towards her. Friendship, love, admiration, respect… He pushed and pushed until finally the chill began to ebb, replaced with a tentative warmth that started in his chest and slowly seeped out into the rest of his body.

"It's all right, Kairi," he said, squeezing her hand gently. "You're gonna be all right." She was crying again, silent tears running tracks down her cheeks as her eyes searched his for something, flicking desperately from one to the other as she clutched his hand tightly.

"And you…" She closed her eyes with a grimace. "If I go to sleep, you won't… you won't leave me behind, will you?" The crack in her voice hurt worse than the cracks in her heart and Axel surged forwards, wrapping his arms tightly around her and squeezing so hard he thought he might break her.

"Never," he promised. "We're in this together."

The wave of emotions that followed hit him with such force that it took the breath from his lungs. It took all his strength to keep from drowning, clinging to Kairi as she sobbed in to his chest. Her warring emotions pierced his heart and soon he was crying too, unable to tell where her pain stopped and his began.

Finally the tide began to ebb and Axel felt Kairi feel herself out of his grip. She rose to her feet, turning her back to them as a wave of acceptance washed through her heart. This time it was warm and almost comforting as she slowly picked her way through the debris to what should have been the centre of her heart station.

"I'm ready," she murmured. The shard under her feet began to glow and shimmer as a keyhole appeared, outlined by a faint, pulsing light. Axel glanced over to Aqua only to find her gone; his heart skipped several nervous beats. Kairi turned to face him, her face bathed in a gentle, ethereal glow. "I trust you, Axel."

Her smile was small and faint but it was real; a real smile that made him wonder how he'd ever believed her false ones. Slowly he dragged himself to his feet, leaning heavily against Heart's Flame as the weight of what he was about to do threatened to drag him back down. His gaze met hers and her heart erupted, filling him with such love and gratitude that he found himself at a loss for words. He lifted his keyblade and pointed it towards the keyhole. He felt a click as the two connected, and soon Kairi's tearful smile was lost behind a blinding curtain of light.

Returning to his body was a painful experience to say the least. His aches and pains returned all at once in a sudden rush that made him groan. Murmured conversations were cut short as a gentle hand squeezed his shoulder lightly.

"Axel?"

Aqua was hovering over him when he opened his eyes. He had to blink several times to bring her in to focus. He grunted and sat up, pushing her hand away as he stared down at his lap. Something was missing… something – no, someone who had been in his arms.

"Kairi…" His voice sounded wrong. His mouth was filled with cotton. He ran a clumsy hand over his face and forced himself to his knees. "Kairi… Where is she?" He searched the room, eyes passing over the splintered bookshelf and the scattered bottles and the figures in the doorway before he found her.

Someone (Aqua, probably) had put her back in her bed. She was lying on top of the covers, perfectly still aside from the steady rise and fall of her chest. She looked peaceful; at rest for the first time since her return.

How hadn't they seen it?

"Here." Calloused fingers pressed something in to his hand. An elixir. He wished Kairi could drink it; wished this was something that could be fixed by something so simple. He never took his eyes off her face as he swallowed it in a single gulp. He let the bottle fall to the floor with a gentle thud as the elixir worked its way through his system, clearing the haze of exhaustion that had settled over his mind. His heart was still fragile and his emotions still drained, but the aches and pains eased by a fraction and he felt some of his strength returning. It would take time to heal the rest.

"Axel."

He turned slowly, eyes landing on the other occupants of the room. Aqua was kneeling nearby with Terra as her side, the two leaning heavily against each other. Ven stood in the doorway, his face pale. Riku stood nearby, his expression grim as his keen eyes watched Axel carefully.

"Aqua told us what happened," Riku said solemnly. "Is she… Were you okay in there?" Axel nodded, his gaze drifting slowly to Aqua.

"Where did you go?" he asked.

"She kicked me out," Aqua answered. "I think she wanted you to be the one to…" Her voice faltered as her gaze drifted back to Kairi.

I trust you, Axel.

The words sent a shiver down his spine. She trusted him – a man who had chased her, kidnapped her and ultimately handed her over to the Organisation – a man who had failed to save her when she needed him most – more than she trusted a keyblade Master, the woman who had been training her since her return, the woman who had unknowingly helped give her power over a keyblade. He reached out, brushing a stray hair from her face.

"You made a difficult choice today," Terra said solemnly, "and I know it's difficult but you should feel very proud of what you have achieved, Master Axel."

The title struck a painful chord. Axel frowned, turning slowly towards Terra as he processed the words. In the doorway Ven stood taller, his eyes wide.

"Of course," Ven breathed. "The Power of Waking!"

"It was all you needed to become a true Master," Terra continued. He forced a paper-thin smile that tuned Axel's stomach. "Congratulations, Master-"

"Don't," Axel snapped. The smile fell. Aqua jumped. Axel bowed his head so he wouldn't have to look at any of them. "Don't call me that."

"But, Axel, you did it," Ven said softly. "You used the Power of Waking to-"

"The Power of Waking, Ven," he countered sharply. "I didn't wake her up, I-" The words caught in his throat, choking him. His hands trembled in his lap and he squeezed his eyes shut only to see her face, illuminated by the ethereal light of the keyhole; the watery smile as he sealed her heart behind a curtain of light. He clenched his fingers in to fists and drew a deep, steeling breath.

"It's the same power," said Riku. "What you do with it doesn't matter-"

"Doesn't matter?" Axel hissed. His gaze met Riku's and for the first time he saw a flash of fear flicker across the boy's face. He narrowed his eyes. "I just sealed Kairi's broken heart so she can't wake up, and that doesn't matter?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean, Master Riku?" He stood slowly, fighting aching limbs to draw himself up to his full height.

"Axel-" Aqua started.

"No, I wanna hear it," he spat. "I wanna know the wisdom of a Master. C'mon, tell me. What did you mean?" Riku's eyes narrowed.

"The Power of Waking can be used for a number of purposes," Riku answered flatly. "Any one of them would show mastery of the skill, it doesn't matter which one you demonstrate." Axel snorted.

"Well I'm so relieved." Flames danced along his fingertips. "I can't wait to tell Kairi. Oh, wait, I can't."

"Axel," Aqua pressed again, firmer this time.

"Y'know what?" He clenched his jaw to fight the burning in his eyes. "I've changed my mind. I don't wanna be a Master anymore, not if it means I might end up like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Terra growled.

"How long has Kairi been here?" he asked. "How long has it been since she came back, since you both saw inside her heart? You're her Master and you-" He turned his glare from Aqua to Riku. "You're supposed to be her friend, and neither of you noticed that she was tearing herself apart from the inside?"

"It's not that simple," Riku argued. "She is a Princess of Heart, her heart is different-"

"Every heart is different," Axel snapped. "You're honestly telling me that you didn't feel it? The despair? The hopelessness? She was drowning in it." Riku pushed away from the wall, fists falling to his sides and he stepped closer to Axel.

"I couldn't be sure that it was the same," he retorted. "Her heart is pure light-"

"So what?" Axel spat. "She gets angry and sad and pissed off just like the rest of us. You'd know that if you'd said more than two words to her!"

"Axel!" Ven gasped.

"That's not fair," Riku growled. "There was no time, we needed to look for Sora-"

"Sora, Sora, Sora!" He ran his hands through his hair with a frustrated growl. "It's all anyone can talk about! Y'know if you'd stuck around and actually had a conversation with Kairi any time over the past few months, maybe we would have found out why she wasn't telling us before I came to this-"

"That's not fair!" Ven intervened, placing himself between them. His eyes bored in to Axel's. "You can't blame all of this on Riku-"

"Why not? He's the one who should have known her the best!"

"I'd say you probably know her better than I do," Riku countered tersely. "You spent all that time training together with Merlin-"

"Training," he shot back. Ven spread his arms between them, a hand on each of their chests to keep them apart. Axel narrowed his eyes, feeling a furious flame dancing up his arms. "You wanna know what I know about Kairi? I know she won't hesitate to follow her instincts. I know she'd dive headfirst in to darkness if it seemed the lesser of two evils. I know she barely flinched when she was told that she would be training – alone – with the guy who tried to kidnap her. Twice. That's what I know."

"Axel…" Something in Ven's voice made him stop. The hand left his chest and reached for his cheek. Axel jerked back, touching his cheek. Trembling fingers came away wet.

"You're right." The words caught him off guard. Axel looked at Riku to find him visibly deflated, his gaze lowered. "I should have known Kairi better but… that's always been Sora's area of expertise. There's always been this wall between us, especially after everything that happened with Maleficent. I should have seen it sooner, but I was… scared. Worried that I was pushing what I was feeling on to what I thought I felt; that I was misreading the situation."

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself," Aqua intervened. "We've both spent so much time around the darkness, it can be hard to remember what's normal and what's not. We both… we all should have noticed it sooner." She fixed Terra with a firm look and he turned away, ducking his head.

"Thank you, Aqua," Riku murmured, though he didn't meet her gaze.

Axel wanted to scream.

"I have to go," he mutttered, shoving his way past Ven who yelped in surprise.

"Axel, wait!" Ven pleaded. Axel felt his fingers brush the sleeve of his cloak but he tugged it out of Ven's grip.

"Where are you going?" Aqua asked.

"Away," he grunted. He stepped over the broken dresser – over the scattered, shattered phials and bottles that gleamed in the carpet like diamonds. He glanced over his shoulder as he reached the doorway, glancing back at them one last time. "Keep your title, I don't want it."

"Axel!" Ven called after him. He didn't stop. His eyes were burning again, his throat so tight he could barely breathe.

"Let him go, Ven," came Terra's quiet reply. Axel rounded the corner and took of running. His aching legs screamed in protest as he flew down the stairs. His heart ached and his keyblade responded, appearing in its glider form. He leapt on to it, disappearing in to the Lanes Between and emerging – tears and all – in Twilight Town.

Warnings about protecting the World Order circled his head as he flew through the sky, refusing to dismiss his keyblade until he had arrived at the clock tower. Tear-blind he stumbled to the ground, collapsing heavily against the outer wall as he finally let it out. The anger, the frustration, the overwhelming feeling of defeat and of loss… They came pouring out in a tidal wave of tears that refused to stop, even when his chest ached and his stomach churned and he tasted bile between each sob.

"You really should consider reinstating the marks under your eyes. You were… less unstable when you had them."

He should have known someone would find him. He grit his teeth and dug the palms of his heels in to his eyes.

"Go away, Isa, I'm not in the mood." He heard Isa give a quiet hum.

"I'm surprised to find you crying alone," Isa continued. "What happened to all of those friends of yours?" Axel bit the inside of his cheek and hauled himself to his feet. There was other places he could go. He wasn't sure where, but he'd find them.

"Leave it alone," he sighed. Exhaustion was setting in now, filling his limbs with lead. He forced his eyes open as he stumbled past Isa. He'd made too much of a scene arriving; he couldn't risk doing it again. He would leave properly – discretely. Isa stepped aside, folding his arms.

"I suppose it was only a matter of time before you left them, too. Does this mean I will see more of you now, or even less than bef-"

Axel's fist connected with Isa's jaw. Isa stumbled backwards, spilling on to the floor and cupping his cheek as he stared up at Axel, eyes wide and mouth open. For the first time in a long time Isa was speechless.

"Y'know what, Isa?" Axel growled. "I'm done. Done with all of this, with keyblades and with training and with juggling more friendships than I can count! What's the point? They all end up broken anyway! And where do I end up? Back where I started. Alone."

"Axel…" Isa breathed.

"Do you know how much it hurt, watching you climb your way up through the Organisation without me? I was only in that mess because of you, and then you abandoned me!"

"You moved on-"

"I had to!" he spat. "You sacrificed everything trying to find that girl, including me. Did you really think I would just sit and wait around for you to finally clue me back in? I lost you, and then Xion and Roxas. I lost everything!"

"You threw it away," Isa countered, pushing himself up on his free arm, "to go chasing after the memory of Roxas-"

"You wanna talk about throwing things away?" Axel growled. "What about you and your heart? Sora recompleted you and what did you do? Ran right back to Xehanort to have it ripped out all over again. Do you have any idea how long I spent looking for you?! How much it hurt to see you standing by his side again?!"

"Oh yes, you seemed so distraught as you swept in to play the hero and save S-"

Heart's Flame sang as it sliced through the air, coming to a halt inches from Isa's throat. Axel's eyes burned.

"Don't. I don't wanna h-hear his name." He huffed at the crack in his voice and scrubbed a treacherous tear from his cheek with his free hand, grateful when Isa remained silent. He swallowed thickly and forced a strangled laugh past the lump in his throat. It sounded hysterical. "Y'know what, Isa? You always do this. You always have. Whenever anyone comes to you with a problem you turn the conversation around until we're talking about you. I lost someone today, Isa! And you would know that if you'd even asked! You think I came up here to cry on my own for fun?"

"Axel-"

"No!" The word was a half-roar half-sob. The keyblade brushed Isa's neck and he winced. Axel barely saw it through the haze of fresh tears. "I'm so tired, Isa. Tired of fighting to be in a world that takes everything I love and tears it away from me. I thought she was the one… I thought she'd always be by my side… We were on the same team, the good team; she wasn't going to walk away from me or turn her back on me. I already lost her once and now… now I…" The keyblade fell from his fingers with a clatter, disappearing in a wash of flame as he collapsed to his knees. His stomach heaved. He swallowed bile and doubled over, pressing the heels of his hands in to his eyes again, but the tears refused to stop. He heard a quiet rustle as Isa finally stood, only to kneel at Axel's side. A warm hand landed heavily on his back.

"I'm sorry," Isa said softly. "I've never been… adept at discussing my emotions. You were always the one to draw them out of me and when you were no longer around… When Sora recompleted me, I was scared. I didn't know how to deal with having my heart if I didn't have you…" He trailed off. The hand on Axel's shoulder trembled before tightening its grip. "What happened to her?"

The story came out in a mess of jumbled half-sentences that barely made sense. It started with the events of that morning, jumped back to Kairi's return, made several leaps through their weeks of training in no coherent order before finally ending with his less-than-graceful escape from the Land of Departure. Isa stayed silent throughout, offering the occasional squeeze here and there for which Axel was grateful. By the end of the story he was thoroughly spent, sagging heavily against Isa who – for once – didn't attempt to shake him off.

"I'm so sorry, Lea." Axel heard him suck in a sharp breath. "Axel," he quickly corrected himself. Axel made a vague, listless motion with his hand.

"Doesn't matter," he mumbled. "Call me whatever."

"I always wondered why you kept that name." Axel felt his ears burning.

"'m not tellin'," he murmured. The heat spread to the back of his neck. He felt Isa shift and he glanced up, finding Isa staring down at him with a fond smirk. Axel shoved him lightly, sitting up taller and running a hand over his face. "Seriously. It'll just go to your head."

"So it is because of me," said Isa. He shrugged and turned away. "Suit yourself. I'm sure I can come up with some story or other to fill in the gaps." Axel groaned and he let his head loll back with a dramatic sigh.

"It was because-" His throat tightened and he huffed, running a heavy hand through his spikes. "We couldn't be Isa and Lea when there was no Isa. And," he added quickly as Isa turned back to him with his confident half-smile. "I couldn't be bothered fighting every Guardian of Light to correct them. So it wasn't just about you, y'know. Before you start thinking that it was."

"Uh-huh," Isa answered. Axel jabbed him lightly in the side.

"I'm serious," he pressed. "First Mickey, then Riku… Kairi tried for a while but…" He trailed off, the thought of her suddenly sobering what little lightheartedness he had found. His smile fell and he slumped heavily against the wall. Isa shifted until he was sitting beside him.

"I'm sorry for what happened to her," Isa said solemnly. "I don't just mean now. I'm… I'm glad she's back. I know how much it hurt you to lose her in the battle against Xehanort. I'm sorry that I had any part in it."

"I just… I thought that if I could just keep her safe then it would make up for all the bad stuff, y'know? I couldn't even do that right."

"You did what you could," Isa reasoned.

"She wasn't ready."

"No, she wasn't."

"Nobody would listen to me," Axel said. "Especially her. She just wanted to help." Isa squeezed his shoulder tightly.

"Axel-" The name sent a shive down Axel's spine.

"Lea." He glanced at Isa from the corner of his eye with a half-hearted shrug. "Hearing you call me Axel… it brings back bad memories. Call me Lea. Please." Isa paused for a moment before nodded, a small smile pulling at his lips.

"Okay, Lea." That sounded better. Comforting. Like returning home.

"I miss you, Isa," he said at long last. "I'm sorry I haven't been around all that much, but with everything that was going on-"

"No, Lea. I'm sorry," Isa said firmly. "I should have known that I couldn't just walk back in to your life. I tried being the person I was before Xehanort and when that didn't work I was so afraid that I might lose you forever. You were so focused on trying to get Kairi back, and then you spent so much time with Roxas and Xion and all the other Guardians… I was… jealous." Axel arched an eyebrow and nudged Isa with his shoulder.

"You said I'd never hear you say that again," he taunted. Isa chuckled and nudged him back.

"And I meant it, at the time," he answered. "But perhaps it is time that you and I talked more about this kind of thing. If you have the time."

"Hey, until Kairi wakes up I got nothin' but time," he answered. "I promised I wouldn't do anything until she's back." Isa grimaced, his gaze falling in to his lap. Axel shouldered him again. "I meant it, y'know. She'll forgive you. It'll just take time."

"I… have my doubts," he answered carefully.

"She's got a good heart, but she's not an idiot," he replied, throwing his hands behind his head. "The best part is that when she forgives you, it's because she's decided to." Which had been both a comfort and a curse as it had left him seeking nobody's forgiveness but his own; something he was still working towards.

"You really respect her, don't you?" Isa asked. Axel nodded.

"She didn't have to be a part of this," he said. "It was enough for her to be a Princess of Heart. She chose to fight."

"Buy you said that Aqua-"

"She helped, but it was no guarantee that Kairi would have a keyblade." He reached up to tap his chest. "That kinda stuff comes from inside. Touching a keyblade just… I dunno, tips the scales in your favour I guess. She had to be strong enough to make it happen, and she was. She is." Isa nodded and sat back against the wall again, folding his arms with a gentle hum. Axel watched him for a moment, studying the thoughtful expression on his face. It had bee too long since they'd sat together like this. Isa was right; he might have left Axel behind to climb the ranks of the Organisation without him, but Axel had overtaken him by leaps and bounds in the years since. He glanced down at his fingers, feeling the pull of his keyblade.

Well, he was a Master now…

Heart's Flame appeared with a dramatic flair of fire that made Isa jump. Axel felt the corners of his lips twitch as he held the hilt out to his friend.

"Take it."

"What?" Isa's eyes bulged as he stared slack-jawed at the proffered keyblade. Axel tossed it from one hand to the other until he was holding it by the shaft, leaving the handle free.

"Take it," he said again, nudging it in Isa's direction. Isa's hand trembled as he reached out, wrapping his slender fingers around the hilt. Axel relinquished it immediately, allowing Isa to lift it high up in to the air with a look of wonder on his face.

"Now what?" Isa breathed.

"That's it."

"That's it?"

"Think so." He knitted his fingers behind his head and sat back, drinking in the surprise and confusion that washed over Isa's face in equal measure. "I mean, there's some kind of speech that I think I'm supposed to say, but Aqua didn't that for Kairi so I think you're good. The rest is up to you."

"Then I suppose time will tell." He took a moment longer to examine the keyblade, turning it over in his hands and running his fingers along the flameless shaft several times, examining it thoroughly from every angle before returning it to Axel who dismissed it. Isa's eyes trailed the dying embers as they fizzled out in the air between them. "That isn't the same keyblade you used to fight with."

"It is, and it isn't," he answered. "Xemnas didn't destroy my keyblade, just the form it had taken. I had to spend some time working with the Good Fairies to bring it back, and when I did it looked like that. Said it had something to do with the changes in my heart."

"It looks sharper than its last form. Angrier."

"I was angrier. At Xehanort, at myself, at the other Guardians…" Isa's eyebrow quirked curiously and Axel shrugged. "Don't assume it's all sunshine and rainbows with them. They annoy me almost as much as you do sometimes." Isa's lips curled in to a smirk, though he didn't rise to the bait.

"The Good Fairies," he said, "they're the ones who gave you the keyblade?"

"Nah, they didn't have one to pass down. It's gotta be done by a wielder."

"Yen Sid, then? Roxas mentioned him once."

"He gave it all up. Can't summon his keyblade anymore. Don't ask me why or how; I've been asking for years and I still haven't got an answer." Isa's lips snapped shut around his unasked question. "It was Mickey. He was Yen Sid's apprentice. Performed the ceremony, said the words, and then sent me off with Merlin and the Fairies. They slowed down time so they could put me through this intense training to try and help figure out if I was gonna get a keyblade or not."

"Obviously it worked." For the first time there was no malice in his voice; no hint of the jealousy that usually accompanied any discussion about keyblades. Axel nodded and Isa sighed. "There is so much that I've missed."

"Well ask away. I've got all the time in the world." Isa pursed his lips, looking at Axel with an unreadable expression before he rose to his feet and offered his hand to Axel.

"How about we get some ice cream first?" Axel grinned and gripped his wrist, hauling himself up.

"And you say you don't know me anymore."

This sequence.

My dudes, dudettes and other dude-identifiers, let me tell you: this sequence has taken ~two months~ to write.

Mostly because there has been a lot going on personally, but also because damn this was a difficult sequence. And a long one. Lots of things happening one after the other and no convenient place to take a break (other than the shift from Aqua to Axel).

I love Axel and Isa's dynamic, what little we see of it in BBS and the end of KHIII, but I could easily see it getting out of hand. I'm glad my boys have been able to patch things up before it drove them apart (again).

Hopefully things will start picking up pace posting-wise. A lot of the personal drama is sorted (or not, as the case may be) meaning I have a little more free time to write, and this sequence (affectionately known as KH III.5) is nearly complete. Just one last little interlude left, and then we can really start getting in to the meat of the wonderfully unofficial KHIV.

Also a quick side-note: As you may have guessed, this story is not going to be done before Re:Mind. It's not even going to hit the halfway mark. I will absolutely be playing Re:Mind once it's released on PS4, but I do not currently expect it to affect this story. As per the original disclaimer, this story is based on the lore up to and including the first official release of KHIII and does not include any DLC, additional content, or further games related to the series.

Please leave me a review and let me know what you think!