Chapter 5: Drunken Fox Chef & Golden Ice Queen

Saiba looks like he is passed out after drinking Ryoko's rice juice. Everyone is shocked to see him with his face on the floor.

Yuki shouts at Ryoko, "WHAT THE HELL WAS IN THAT RICE JUICE!?"

Ryoko explains as she shows the bottle, "It's the same rice juice that I've been making all the time! I didn't change anything!"

Megumi looks at the seemingly unconscious Saiba, "I hope he's alright!"

Daigo and Shoji try to help Saiba up.

Shoji tries to shake him a little, "Wake up, man!"

Daigo also shakes Saiba as well, "Don't die on us!"

Saiba has his head up but slowly lift his head. Everyone sees him as Saiba's face looks flustered and halfway awake. All the dormmates look at him as Saiba cracks and smiles and giggles like a drunkard.

Saiba says to everyone as he raise his cup, "Whaz in fish snoop? Imps amoozing." Saiba's words are all slandered as if he is drunk.

Everything is quite for a few moments before Yuki, Ryoko, Daigo and Shoji smile before they laugh. Zenji also laughs with them. Although Megumi still looks worried. Shun is just sitting there with an expressionless look on him. Isshiki sighs in relief after that.

"Whaz so pony? I poke know whap you gis are looghing at but I pan smell ya whap!" Saiba continues to talk as almost everyone laughs at the way he talks. "I can doo-doo tha uno work froz Mary Poopins! Supercalorifragulusciousexpelliarmus!"

The four continue to laugh with Isshiki chuckling at Saiba's slandering. Megumi tries to hide her smile with both her hands.

Saiba looks confused as he looks at everyone. "Whap the puke iz zo fruitty? I spread it! Supercurryfartatomicexplosivearmpit!"

Most of them laughed a little harder.

Saiba tries again, "I camp pay imp three pies faz! Supercursivefruttietuttieexpansiveass! Supercaviarfuckerlukyexpensivedumbass! Supercongaflamingolucyexperimental!"

They laugh harder for each mistake he has made for Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Megumi tries to hold back as much of her laughter as she can with tears streaming from her eyes.

Isshiki applause, "That was hilarious! I haven't had a laugh like that in a long time."

Saiba sits quietly as he looks at Isshiki for a few seconds. Then he points his finger at Isshiki while looking at Megumi and asks, "Megumi? Who's the naked lady in the apron?"

Everyone laughs again yet Shun has his head turned away with his right hand covering his mouth.

Saiba leans on Megumi's right shoulder and looks like he is crying. "Memoomi!" he cries and still sounds drunk on her shoulder, "I peely life yo. Yo urn life a bury bale prinkin."

Isshiki tries to translate, "I think he says; you're like a fairy tale princess. Is that it?"

Saiba has one thumb up of his left hand on Megumi's left shoulder.

"Wow." Yuki is amazed at Isshiki, "Can't believe you got that right."

Saiba looks at Megumi, "Imp poo. Yo arm a fairy pale pumpkin. You ham a gremtle sool, a harp poi af goo, sue kin ant currydog."

Isshiki translate, "It's true. You are a fairy tale princess. You have a gentle soul, a heart of gold, so kind at everyone. But I think he meant to say; so kind to everyone. Or is it so kind and everything."

Megumi blushes out of embarrassment.

Five of the Polar Star residents go "Ooo." and clap a little out of Isshiki's amazing translation ability to understand drunkards.

"I wiz yo wooden tuken me firt kim insteed of thap horker, Eriba Nakiru."

Ryoko looks at Isshiki, "Who's Eriba Nakiru?"

Isshiki translate, "I think he said that Erina Nakiri stole his first kiss."

"WHAT?!" Yuki yelped. "Erina Nakiri, the Erina Nakiri, stole his first kiss?!"

Daigo and Soji are surprised, "The God Tongue did what?!"

Zenji's jaw dropped along with Ryoko's in total shock to hear that a member of the Council of Ten, the granddaughter of the Devil of Food, kissed a transfer student.

Yuki is still in shock as she asks, "WHEN THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

Saiba answers, "Exum."

"The entrance exam." Isshiki remembers something, "Oh yeah. I think I remember an incident at the entrance exam for transfer students that Erina lost control of herself so her grandfather knocked her out."

Ryoko has a large sweat drop on the back of her head, "Seriously?"

Isshiki gives Ryoko his usual smile, "Oh yes. Although only a few know about it."

Zenji push his glasses, "Guessing that Saiba here must've impress the God Tongue enough for a kiss. But what exactly caused it?"

As Isshiki explains, Saiba says to Megumi, "Yoy now wham, Megoosy? I thizz I profor yorn licks inbed of burr's. Zome near!"

"Wait, what?!" Megumi is being pushed into giving Saiba a kiss and they did it.

When Isshiki was halfway done, everyone is shocked again but seeing Saiba and Megumi kissing.

Shun stands up from his chair as he says, "I should go." and leaves.

Saiba and Megumi keep on kissing as Megumi's face turns bright red with swirls for eyes and steam coming out of her ears. When Saiba was done, she pass out.

"Thap's goo enot." Saiba says as he then turn his attention to Yuki. "Oh Yuke.~"

Yuki is a little nervous on what's gonna happen to her. Saiba just lunge at Yuki and snuggles her as Yuki screamed.

Saiba keeps on snuggling as he says, "Yee smole line wilde anihoes ov tee foren un I revvy loov thak smule."

Isshiki translate, "You smell like wild animals of the forest and he loves that smell."

Yuki is blushing really hard as she says to Saiba, "What, um, sure. Wild game is my cooking forte."

"Yo smee snow goo, I fink I mug a..." Saiba then starts nibbling on Yuki's neck as his face looks like a little hamster as he nibbles her...while Yuki feels ticklish and laughs uncontrollably.

"Stop it~!" Yuki says while Saiba keeps on nibbling her neck to shoulders, "It tickles! Stop~!" Then she passes out.

Then Saiba sets his gaze at Ryoko, who is now terrified on what is gonna happen. Saiba lunges at Ryoko which knocks her down and he snuggles on her boobs.

Ryoko tries to pry him off, "Get off me!"

Saiba speaks normally while still in his drunken state, "Ryoko, I like you! You are like an older sister I really want. You look like the type that cares about others and cheer them up when they are down."

Ryoko stops trying to get him off when she heard that while blushing even more.

Saiba looks at Ryoko, eye to eye, "Plus you are a nice person. Not as sweet as Megumi, but close. I really wish I can have someone like you as my older sister."

Ryoko is at a lost for words, "Oh, well, um, I...uh..."

"Poot." Saiba passes out on Ryoko's boobs.

Daigo and Shoji look at the situation.

"Shoji?"

"Yeah, Daigo?"

"That dude is one hell of a lady killer when he drinks fermented drinks."

"You got that right, bro."

Ryoko looks up at the ceiling as she says, "No more rice juice for him."

In the director's office, Senzaemon Nakiri received a declaration of a Food War.

It is four-o'clock in the morning as Saiba wakes up, feeling like hell.

"Oh fuck me." Saiba rubs his face and feeling groggy. "What the hell happened last night?" Saiba breaths into his hand and smells his breath. "Ew!"

So he heads to the bathroom and brush his teeth. While brushing, he starts to remember the party. He stops for five seconds before continuing brushing. Then he remembers eating some food the others made. He thinks about it for a moment but shrugs it off. The more he brushes, the more he remembers. He slowly stops as he remembers kissing Megumi, nibbling on Yuki and snuggling on Ryoko's breast. He stops as his eyes are widen in realization on what he did.

"Oh...shit."

Everyone in Polar Star wakes up as they make their way to the cafeteria. Megumi still looks embarrassed about what happened last night. Ryoko face is still a little red from that embarrassing moment.

"Man, I'm starving." Yuki says to everyone.

"I bet breakfast will be awesome!" Daigo says with his usual happy attitude.

"You said it, bro!" Shoji agrees.

"Just hope Saiba isn't there." Ryoko says, "After what happened last night."

Zenji says to Ryoko, "You did gave him some of your rice juice. Just make sure not to give him anymore."

Isshiki also tries to defend Saiba, "Plus he wasn't himself after that. Since he is from another world, he may not be used to some of the ingredients of this world."

Ryoko sighs, "You're probably right."

As they get close to the mess hall, they noticed the smell of something delicious in the air.

Megumi does a few sniffs before asking, "Is that mackerel?"

Everyone head in and see Saiba with bowls of some sort of onigiri with mackerel sticking out of the rice. Next to the bowls is a tea kettle with steam coming out of it. Saiba has a guilty look on his face as he stands and face his dormmates.

"Everyone." he says before bowing, "I'm sorry. I am so sorry about everything that happened last night."

"I forgive you." Megumi says despite she is still blushing. Then acts nervously, "Um, well, I um...I do and I."

Yuki looks away while still pissed and her arms crossed, "I will forgive you." She opens her eyes a little to look at breakfast, "Besides, you made breakfast for us."

Ryoko rubs the back of her head, "It was my fault for giving you that drink. Didn't realized you were a light weight."

"Actually, I didn't know either." Saiba says. "But let's eat." He pours the tea in the bowls of mackerel onigiri.

"What is this?" Isshiki asks while holding the bowl.

"That is Revamped Mackerel Onigiri Chazuke."

Ryoko asks, "But what is the tea?"

"Salted seaweed tea. A bit bold, but its lightly salted flavor should finish the meal perfectly."

Yuki groans, "Let's just eat already! I'm hungry!"

"Got that right." Shun agrees.

"Hmm." Isshiki looks at the contents of his bowl. 'It looks like simple, normal ochazuke. A type of dish that you can get from any ordinary cheap family eatery. Unless...'

Yuki smiles with chopsticks in hand, "Don't mind if I do. Eat it everyone!"

Ryoko and Shun say in unison, "This looks good."

Everyone tries it and...

In their minds, they are in a forest with snow melting, the sound of birds singing, a flowing stream with jumping mackerel, and flowers bloom including cherry blossoms. They all moan blissfully as they are being absorbed into a bright light and cherry blossom petals scattered about (and one covering up a certain section of someone's body).

While doing so, Isshiki says, "Blooma!" while all his clothes are being blown away.

Now back to reality.

Isshiki says with a grin on his face, "Delicious."

Yuki states, "The mackerel is perfectly juicy. But the skin is still nice and crispy. The flavor pops out with every bite."

"Dude, this is totally awesome!" Daigo admits that it is delicious and chows down.

"Right back at ya, bro!" Shoji agrees and chows down along with him.

Megumi is too busy eating her breakfast and not paying attention to everything around her with a blissful smile on her face. Shun just sits, eat and enjoy.

Ryoko says, "This texture wouldn't be possible by simply broiling it. How did he do this?"

"Poêlée." Isshiki answers. Everyone pays attention to Isshiki, "This mackerel was cooked using the poêlée method."

Yuki goes, "Po-!"

Ryoko goes, "-êl-!

And Saiba finishes, "-ée-!"

Yuki points her finger at Saiba with an angry look on her face, "Why are you surprised too!?"

"Because I never heard of it."

"Huh!?"

Zenji explains, "Poêlée is a French technique used to cook protein. It is a style of saute. Olive oil is poured on top of the protein, also called basting. Giving it a consistent browning."

Isshiki asks Saiba, "Mind telling us, young Saiba, where did you learn your French cooking techniques?"

Saiba explains, "I learned a lot from my dad and Mr. Tenshu. Although my dad did learn from this school, so that shouldn't be a surprise. Plus my dad did do some traveling from time to time."

"I see." Isshiki says as he looks back at his bowl. 'So this is the style of cooking done by the former number two, the man called Carnage. Who could've imagine onigiri done in a French fashion. He is neither bound by genre or nationality. This cooking is so free.'

Saiba says, "Oh and Isshiki?"

"Yes, young Saiba?"

"There is something that my father never told me, but I like to know."

"And what would that be?"

"How do I become a member of the Ten? Do I have to battle someone for there position? Like you?"

Over at the arena, Erina is doing a Food War against the president of the Chanko Stew Research Society, Kiyoshi Godabayashi. The crowd cheers and the three judges wait in anticipation.

Kiyoshi does some sumo preps as he says, "Dosukoi!" as he slams his feet onto the ground. Then two of his friends put a blue robe on him. He says to Erina, "We, of the Chanko Stew Society, have a long and noble history stretching back to the academy's very founding. And yet Erina Nakiri, you wish to demolish it. In order to build what exactly?"

Erina answers in monotone fashion, "A cooking annex for my personal use. My kitchen has gotten a wee bit crowded for my taste."

Kiyoshi gets upset, "How dare you!? That grand historic building had a long passion for eating! Fostered by the students of Totsuki academy! Its not for you to toss aside! How can you even call yourself a chef!?"

Members of the Chako Stew Society cheer for Kiyoshi and are furious about their club being disbanded and their building getting demolished.

Erina does a monotone sigh before doing her own smack talk, "Trying to imitate recipes of senior students while also squandering your budget? Is that your idea of passion? These past few years, you have contributed little of value. A society that merely praises its past accomplishments." He gives him a cold stare, "That isn't needed here at Totsuki."

Kiyoshi refuses to back down, "You are always quick to flaunt your authority. Someone needs to put you in your place. If I beat you, you will step down from the Council!" He does a sumo pose, "I challenge you! Let's go, Erina Nakiri."

Erina puts on her chef hat, "And if I win, construction continues as planned." She smiles as she rolls up her sleeves, "Ready, Godabayashi? Let the battle begin."

Let's head back to the Polar Star Dorm where Isshiki explains how things are done.

"Here at the academy, there is a system for resolving disputes among all the students. And it involves following a few specific rules. You may challenge me for the number seven seat if you wish, but the guidelines state that you must offer something of corresponding value."

"Guess getting myself kicked out isn't good enough."

"You are correct."

Fumio sitting next to Saiba says, "That's right. That's how much weight the Council of Ten carries. After all, they are the highest decision making body of campus second to that of the director."

"I do know about that. And please refrain from talking about Polar Star's golden age."

Fumio looks upset as she says, "You're no fun at all." Then drinks her bowl. "But I do say this; this is a wonderful dish."

"But I think I got it." Saiba understands. "So I'm gonna have to find another way to make it to the top. Probably through some test or something then possibly challenge one of the members of the Ten."

Isshiki makes a snap with his fingers, "You are correct."

Megumi says, "Even if you do that, getting the number one seat is difficult."

Yuki nods, "That's right."

"Darn." Saiba says. "But I do know how the Food Wars work. First; I need authorized officials to claim the challenge valid. Second; an odd number of judges. And the last; the agreement of both chefs to accept the challenge. Thus the Food War."

Isshiki claps by how amazing Saiba learns how it works, "That's good. Could've had said it myself." He stops clapping, "But the upside is that when the conditions are met, you are free to battle anyone who attends the school."Isshiki says the Totsuki proverb, "Any and all challenges must be put down through cooking. That is Totsuki's traditional one-on-one battle mantra. And that has become known as a Food War."

A male announcer says, "A judgement has been made!"

Kiyoshi is standing and in shock by the judgement. He looks on the screen and notices that Erina has three O's which means she is the winner while he has only X's.

"The winner of this Food war is...Erina Nakiri!"

The crowd cheers for Erina for winning the Food War.

Kiyoshi is upset as he sweats a lot while saying to himself, "No. It just can't. How could this be? But the...Stew Society." Then shouts at the judges, "What's the matter with you people?! What was wrong with my lobster hotpot, huh?!"

Erina approaches the lobster hotpot with a white spoon and taste the broth.

In Erina's mind, she is snorkeling in a beautiful coral reef as she breach the surface of the sea. She swims her way towards a beautiful island as she walks in the shallows before taking off her goggles and snorkel after unzipping her diving suit to reveal her dark blue swimsuit. After she did that, she notices that she is in front of a rail crossing as the gates lower, light going off and the sound it makes when a train is coming. But instead of a train, a stampede of elephants is coming through. That's right, elephants. Not hippos. Probably has something to do with what she tasted not too long ago. Yet one elephant stops and goes into a staring contest with Erina.

Back in reality, Kiyoshi is still upset until Erina tells him off.

"Godabayashi." she says, "Your dish fails at 34 points." 34 and not 27. That means she tasted something that is more wrong. "First; there's the lobster. You blanched it for two seconds far too long. Next, the oyster produced a slight off flavor that effected the whole dish."

Kiyoshi gets upset as he yells, "SHUT UP!"

"As for how the vegetables were treated-"

"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" He looks over at Erina's ravioli. "Do you really think what you made is that much better than mine!? I've been perfecting that dish for weeks! Just enough for this challenge!" He stabs a fork into one of the ravioli and takes a bite.

In Kiyoshi's mind, he is in a sumo match between him and a more superior sumo wrestler.

The referee says, "Hakyoi!"

Kiyoshi gets slap in the face by his opponent. Because of the impact of the flavor.

"Well, Godabayashi? What do you think of my Ravioli Di Aragosta?" Erina is smirking at him.

Kiyoshi describes the flavors while he is mentally beaten in the sumo match in his head. "The ravioli is steamed, light and fluffy. While the prawn is plump and bursting with with flavor." He takes another bite, "The sheer delicacy is like... being at the mercy at a yokozuna."

In the match in his mind, he is being tossed out of the ring by the high-ranked yokozuna while his sumo outfit is falling off.

"THIS IS A DIFFERENT DIMENSION OF FLAVOR!"

Then he is in the sky with white clouds that form the word 'Immaculate'.

"It's immaculate."

Kiyoshi drops to his knees with drool dripping and his face is all flustered.

Erina pulls out her phone and says, "It's me. I won. Take it down."

On the screen, they see construction vehicles tearing the Chako Stew Society's building down much to Kiyoshi and the rest of the Stew Society's horror. A building that has been there since the beginning and stood for centuries is now being torn down.

'She's so heartless.' Kiyoshi thinks to himself after witnessing the demolishing of the building, 'This...This is truly the granddaughter of the Demon of Food.'

Saiba and Megumi exit the dorm as they head towards school.

"Man." Saiba says in disappointment. "Wish I knew about that sooner. Now it will be harder for me to make it to the top spot."

Megumi says, "I highly doubt you will make it."

"Although I could challenge Erina." Then makes a grumpy face, "But there is no way in hell that would happen. After what she did, she can forget it. Never forgive!"

Megumi freaked out when he raised his voice. "Just what exactly did she do?"

Back in the arena, Erina is walking beside Hisato.

"That was an excellent performance, Miss Erina." Hisao congratulates her and take Erina's chef hat.

"Meh. Defeating that toad is nothing to brag about. The entire ordeal was a disappointment." She stops as she asks, "By the way. Anything on that other matter?"

Hisato looks down a little, "No, ma'am. I'm afraid that master forbids me to look for any information where Saiba is residing."

"Then give me the list of the next targets. I want to settle my frustration on something."

Hisato gasp a little, "Ma'am!" She gives her the list, "It's right here!"

Before Erina glances over, Ikumi Mito says, "Miss Erina?" while leaning against the wall.

"Hmm?"

"Would you allow me to go next? There is really no need for you to waste your time going after these lowlife imbeciles yourself. I would like to handle them for you. Plus I found someone that might help you with your other matter."

"And who would that be?" Hisato asks. A creepy laugh is heard from behind as Hisato gets the chills.

Erina and Hisato look behind them and see Nao Sadatsuka lurking in the shadows and her glowing red eyes staring at them.

"Sadatsuka!" Hisato says in anger. She tries to push her away, "You're not allowed to be within fifty meters of Miss Erina!"

"Don't worry." Ikumi says, "She's with me."

"That's right." Nao says in her creepy demeanor, "I promise to help Mistress Erina find the boy she is looking for in-exchange to be with Miss Erina."

Hisato scolds Ikumi while keeping Nao back, "You can't do that!"

"I'll allow it." Erina says. "I'll allow it." she drools a bit, "As long as you fulfill what you need to do, you get to join in on all the fun as a reward."

"Reward?" Ikumi asks and seems confused.

"What reward?" Nao has taken an interest.

"I'll right, I'll explain. But you have to keep it a secret." Erina explains what the reward would be as their faces glow bright red.

Ikumi steps back and twirl her cleaver, "Just leave it to me! They don't call me the Meat Master for nothing! If I ever do find this Saiba, I'll challenge him to a Food War and get him for you!" Ikumi is pretty enthusiastic.

Nao does a wicked grin while holding a pen in one hand and a notepad in another, "I'll find this boy and give you a full report!"

Hisato does a facepalm, 'Why me?'