Chapter 8: Dreams and confusions

As the warrior was beginning to fall asleep again, her last thought was about Ares and the fact that she could bet on anything that something was going on. Her sixth sense never failed her before. As her brain started to think more and more about what that could be, her mind started to get more cloudy and foggy.

She was having a last fight with the one that was once the person that she worshipped and loved the most. Yet now her feelings were so deep buried that she fooled herself that she didn't had any for him anymore. She was feeling sad but also angry that he couldn't understand her decision to leave. It had nothing to do with him. But everything to do with her soul.

'I ain't gonna let you…not now, not ever.' Ares's smooth decided and clear voice ringed in her head out of nowhere. 'I'm sorry that it had come to this Xena…but between you hating me and you being alive, I chose your life…always. I love you!' Another phrase that she could swore she heard but wasn't sure when and where.

Then out of nowhere the warrior was on a green meadow, near a river, preparing herself to mount her horse knowing that this may be the last time she would see him. She was going to start a new life in the land of the Pharaohs. At least that was the plan.

This time though The god of War didn't let her mount. Ares used his powers to diminish the space between them. She didn't even had the time to react because he turned her fast to him and crushed his lips with hers. The kiss started with a great hunger but soon it ceased and now was so passionate that made Xena moan in wanting more. Hearing those moans coming from his princess, Ares was decisive to give her more. His hands cupped her face gently but didn't stop the kiss. He was still taking all that he could get. Fingers started roaming freely over her arms, into her beautiful long dark tresses bringing her closer to him if possible. His capable hands were unfastening the iron breastplate with urgency. He started to deliver kisses on her mouth, neck and everywhere he could find some exposed skin. She took his head in her hands knowing she can't stop. As of nowhere they were already on the grass, on the ground near the river where she just filled the waterskins minutes ago. Her brain was on fight with her desire. She wanted him but also knew this was wrong. Though she didn't had the will to let go. Xena was in her shift now- that being the only piece of cloth that was between her and him. Ares looked at her with lust, desire, sadness and lo..

"No!" The warrior princess waked up in sweat and with troubled thoughts.

"Xena, are you alright?" The bard jumped out of her sleeping form asking alarmed, turning to see her friend's face pale and sweaty. "Xena?"

For a moment the warrior was still but then turned to her friend nodding and adding a small reassuring "yes, don't worry!".

"For sure? cause you are so pale." Gabrielle probed a bit worried.

"Yeah, just… I will be right back." Xena started to get up. She felt like suffocating.

"Sure?!"

"Yes, I need some fresh air. I'll be back soon!"

"Ok" Gabrielle added still worried.

Xena left the room, her heart still beating hard not knowing what to make of the dream she just had. She didn't know what was worse, the dream itself or the fact that she even dreamt of him. Why was Ares so much present in it? What is happening to her? She had so many questions, but little answers. Did he ever said those words in real life or how and why did she dreamt of it, what was the meaning? And those last three words that he said eat at her soul. Of course deep down she could guess that Ares had feelings for her but to hear him say the words was more that she could bear… She gulped. Anger started to rise up within her and decided to walk a little faster. This would clear her head for sure, she thought. The dream was maybe just a dream. She had her doubts though. She felt strange. She was feeling strong, hypersensitive but also a bit rusty in the same time. It felt like something electrified her life. It was a feeling of not fitting in her body and mind. She was excited but not herself.

'Maybe it's just the almost death experience' she thought trying to calm her nerves.

Thinking back at the dream she began to feel weak in her knees. Those kisses were so livid as if they really happened but she knew better. That last encounter between them didn't culminate with kisses but with hateful words. She could almost feel just how she felt then, thorn and bitter. She walked away with a heavy heart after their discussion. Still this doesn't explain why did she dreamt of him, of them? Maybe she could guess the answer but she didn't want to really answer herself that question, knew better than that.

She was walking in the clear path between the inn and the vast beach. Her thoughts about needing to speak with Ares nagged her mind further on and as if called by her a whoosh and a blue light made the man that it appeared to torment her mind and dreams even after so many years, the one that she wanted to question, pop just beside her. She was walking among the small cliff and looking at the tormented sea just like her soul and mind was.

"Need to talk with me?" He nonchalantly asked looking at her, trying to decipher if she knew something about her hew condition. She was breathtaking every time but now she was more beautiful than ever. A real goddess with silky long black hair that played in the breeze of wind of the sea. That's all that he wanted, for her to be his goddess. And now she was an for some reason he didn't feel triumphant about it, no, he felt like a big traitor.

"Didn't call…so NO" She coldly replied, still focused on the tormented sea just before her eyes, trying to make abstraction of him.

"Are you sure, because…"

"But since you are here…" she finally turned to face him, interrupting his chanting and taking the decision to just ask him.

"What did you do to me?!" The warrior accused.

"Xena…what are you saying? I just saved your butt, that's all, I swear." He calmly added.

Her eyes searched his for deception.

"Yeah, that I know…but something is off…you did something to me." She inquired. "I know better. I feel differently, not myself." She accused once again.

"If you ask me, you are probably living with the conscience of the almost death experience that you lived." Ares tried to reason with her.

"Nah, it's something else. You forget I almost died many times before and even died one time. Then I didn't experienced anything like this. Why would it be different now?" The warrior explained looking at him with intensity.

"Look, it's not my fault every time you feel something unusual is happening with you. Do you want to blame me for your hot dreams with me also…that is only you Babe, I didn't do anything."

Not believing his guts she added with disgust recalling a time when he did that "you son of a Bacchae! Now you are controlling my dreams…again? I thought…what change, you just can't!" Decided as she was, she turned around to leave before it turned uglier.

"Ohh stop right there." The calm on Ares's face and in his voice disappeared in that very second. He planted himself just before her, like a concrete block.

"Why? You did this to me once again in the past, why would it be different now?" Xena wanted desperately to know that they weren't back to score 0. That she can trust him.

"Because you know better dammit." Ares answered enraged by her never ending loss of trust in him.

"Do I?" She probed.

"You are fucking unbelievable!" Ares's voice tunned with pain and anger. And just like how he appeared now he disappeared, letting the warrior all alone with the same questions as before.

She guessed she will need to find out by herself what happened to her. She knew better than to believe everything Ares said even if she secretly desperately wanted to.