Author's note: Enjoy!

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the canon, world, and characters portrayed below and you can tell I'm not J.K. Rowling because #transrights

Hogwarts: Assignment #12, Photography Task #11 Write about a place/location that has value (historical, sentimental, etc.)

Content Warnings: Mentions canon character deaths and grief

Before It Was Tragic

"Hey," Remus said when he answered the front door. "Have you eaten?"

"No," Sirius said. His hands were dug in his pockets; his leather jacket was unzipped, his scarf was untied, and his hair was uncombed. He frowned. "Why, are you stress-cooking?"

"Maybe," Remus said. There was a stack of pancakes in the kitchen that he wasn't certainly going to eat on his own—and Teddy would be no help. He'd started teething last week, which had been so much fun, but he was still mostly gums at this point.

"I'll eat, then," Sirius said. But it turned out that Sirius didn't have much of an appetite and couldn't either, when Remus put a plate in front of him. He picked at the piece of pancake he'd cut and chewed on his lip, mostly. He didn't touch his tea.

"Have you been back there?" Sirius asked. "You know, since it happened?"

"Twice," Remus said. "Once because I needed to see it to believe it. The house, I mean, or… well, what used to be the house. Then for the funeral."

Sirius nodded, eyes hollow.

"I never asked, but who planned that?"

"Me," Remus said quietly.

Sirius chewed on his lip.

"I'm sorry you had to do that on your own," he said.

"Don't be sorry," Remus said. "I'm just sorry you weren't there."

Sirius shrugged and pushed his pile of pancakes away.

"What about you?" Remus asked. "Did you go back?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Not since the night they died, when I first found Harry and gave him to Hagrid. I knew it would be thick with Aurors—since killers always return to the scenes of their crimes and all," Sirius said. "I'd already made the mistake of doing something irresponsible and unsafe when there was Harry to take care of once; I wasn't going to do it again. And since the trial, I… I didn't think about it until Harry asked us to go with him."

Remus nodded. It had been a very reasonable request on Harry's behalf: he'd told them about how he'd spent last Christmas Eve, while he and Hermione were hunting Horcruxes, and he'd told them that he wanted to go back to Godric's Hollow without having a near-death experience there—because that was how low the bar was. He'd asked them to come with him. How could they have said no? Lily and James had died for their son in that village; Remus and Sirius could bring him home.

"Harry said we could bring Teddy along," Remus said. "So the baby will be there for moral support."

"Thank Merlin," Sirius said. He craned his neck to look into the living room, where Teddy was laying under his rainbow-coloured baby gym and trying to grab at the toys. "How long has he been at it?"

"Hours," Remus said. "That thing is hours of entertainment. Hours. I think it's because he spends time trying to match his hair to the toys, too."

Sirius grinned. Then came the next knock on the door, and Remus answered to let Harry in. He didn't look quite as pale as the two of them, and the Gryffindor scarf around his neck was loose.

"Good morning," Remus said—trying to sound more cheerful than he felt for Harry's sake.

"Good morning. Sorry I'm late," Harry said.

"It's alright," Remus said. "Sirius just got in, and we haven't packed up your godson yet."

"Where is he?"

"Living room," Remus said. Harry nodded and disappeared in the flat to go say hello.

They were off after bundling up Teddy, who Remus strapped to his chest in a sling for convenience's sake. Since Remus wasn't worried about blending in with Muggle parents at a playground or shop, he transferred everything from Teddy's baby bag into an old wallet with an Extension charm. Then, off their little party went—Teddy chewing on a stuffed badger that Remus had cast a cooling spell on, hoping to help his poor gums. As they walked down the street, down to the park from which it was easiest to Apparate discreetly, Harry stopped them by a flower shop.

"I just want to bring something this time," Harry said. "Last time, it… I didn't have anything, Hermione had to summon flowers."

They all went in and Harry took his time picking out flowers. Remus could tell he was starting to get overwhelmed, but gave him space.

"Did Mum have a favourite?" Harry turned to ask them.

"Lilacs," Remus said. "I don't think James could have recognized a flower other than those if he'd tried."

Harry nodded and picked a bouquet, and off they went again. They all Apparated side-by-side to make sure they weren't separated, and appeared in the spot Remus had always Apparated to when he'd gone to Godric's Hollow—whether it was for Sunday morning breakfasts, to meet Lily for tea, to pick up James before a full moon, to discreetly check on a pregnant Lily while James was out on extended Order business, to look for Sirius when his roommate went rogue, to babysit Harry, to drop off groceries while they were in hiding… It was a tiny alley behind what had once been a bookshop but was now something else.

"Where did you want to start, Harry?" Sirius asked.

"At the house," he said. "And then the cemetery. And then… I don't know. That's all I know."

"Alright," Sirius said. "It'll be this way."

Remus had seen the house since it was destroyed, but it still hurt to see it—from the most dramatic damage to the little things, like seeing the windows where Lily's flower boxes had once been bare. As much as he hated to see the ruins, Remus thought it would be worse if they hadn't been preserved. A new family had moved into the house next door, Mrs. Bagshot's old house, and they'd repainted the front door and window sills—and Remus didn't like that at all. The messages inscribed all over the plaque and bricks of the house were uplifting; and since the Wizarding War had ended people had started bringing flowers again.

"Your room was up there," Sirius said, pointing to the front left window. "Just across the hall from your parents. It got the most incredible light in the morning; you loved it when we'd sit in this rocking chair and hold you in the sunlight."

"Yeah?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Remus said. He remembered that too. Teddy had fallen asleep against his chest at some point, his hair tufty and sky blue. Hopefully the Muggles wouldn't notice.

"I found out that my parents had a cat," Harry said. "In a letter that I found in… it's complicated."

"Meatball?" Sirius asked. They were careful not to ask Harry how he knew that; the fact that he'd only heard his mother's voice while faced with Dementors or locked in Voldemort's mind made it a touchy subject.

"Meatball the cat?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, James named it that and it stuck. Lily pretended to be mad about it, well, forever," Sirius said.

"What happened to him?" Harry asked.

"Mrs. Baghost tracked him down," Remus said. "I took care of him for a few years, but he was already old when your mother rescued him."

Harry nodded.

"Better you than me," Sirius said. "That cat hated me."

"You terrorized it as Padfoot," Remus said.

"It started it!" Sirius said. "It was so rude to me."

"You're just terrible with cats," Remus said.

"Not true, Crookshanks loves me."

"Crookshanks is half-Kneazle, that hardly counts."

"Meatball was half-demon."

"He was not."

Harry snorted. Sirius turned towards him.

"He was a terror," Sirius swore. "Just this big, striped terror."

Remus shook his head behind Sirius and Harry grinned.

"I believe you," Harry said, without specifying who he was talking to. Remus smiled.

From the house they walked over to the cemetery, slowly but surely, leaves crunching under their feet. Remus remembered where the grave was, but Harry was the one who led the way. As they trailed behind Harry, Remus took Sirius's hand and squeezed. His fingers were cold, since he hadn't bothered bundling up even if they were on the tail end of fall. Remus sought out Sirius's gaze, and his old friend nodded and swallowed hard, but Remus knew that he'd keep it together for Harry's sake.

Harry put down the bouquet of lilacs he'd found. With a wave of his wand, Remus transformed its brown paper wrapping into a vase.

"There," he said. "We can reuse it when we come back."

Sirius and Harry both nodded.

"Who picked that line on the stone?" Harry asked. "'The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.'"

"Dumbledore suggested it," Remus said.

"That makes sense," Harry said. "At first I thought it sounded like something a Death Eater might say."

"Maybe," Sirius said. "But Lily and James were fighters; they would have meant it differently."

"That's what Hermione said," Harry said.

"Keep her around," Sirius said. Harry smiled weakly and looked at the stone again, long and hard. Remus wrapped his arms unnecessarily but self-consciously around Teddy, who was still fast asleep. Since Remus usually got around to cooking and cleaning with the baby in a sling, this was business as usual for him.

"I felt so guilty when I first saw it," Harry said. "Like, guilty again. Because I've felt guilty a thousand times for a thousand things, you know?"

"Don't you realise now?" Sirius asked him, reaching out to put a hand on his godson's shoulder. "After doing that brave, terrible thing you did in the Forbidden Forest? Don't you realise that there is no world where Lily and James wouldn't do what they did that night in Godric's Hollow again?"

"In a heartbeat," Remus added. He had known it back then, when James had first told them that they'd go into hiding and had sworn that he would do anything and everything it took to protect his son with fire in his eyes. But he knew it now especially as hard and much more intimately, with his son strapped to his chest and the Battle of Hogwarts behind them.

"Yeah, I get it now," Harry said. "I just hope they're proud of me."

"They would be so proud, they wouldn't know what to do with themselves," Remus said.

Sirius nodded and squeezed Harry's shoulder again. They were quiet for some time after, just watching the gravestone and thinking through things on their own. Remus's entire brain always threatened to melt out of his ear whenever he thought of Lily and James and the absolute unfairness of their deaths, so he always tried to think of small things—like looking at a single item on a list instead of trying to take in the whole thing. Right now, he thought of how Lily's shampoo used to smell like the lilacs Harry had laid on her stone. He thought of how James had once had to sprint through the graveyard as a deer after being reported to the Muggle animal control services, and how they'd rolled on the floor laughing when he'd made it home panting and told them the story. He thought of how badly he wished they could meet Teddy; of how Lily used to tease him saying "you're going to make a Mr or Mrs Lupin very lucky one day, unless they keep their last name." Of how James used to promise Remus that he was wonderful with children, that he could never hurt Harry and that Harry loved his Uncle Moomoo. He thought about how easily he could have been the one laying in a grave, if Voldemort had shown up at his home with his son's name on his lips—and how real and frightening that possibility had felt during the war.

He kissed the top of his son's head and the baby didn't stir.

"I'm glad we came," Sirius said. "Good idea, Harry."

Harry nodded and swallowed hard.

"Thanks for… thanks for coming with me," Harry said.

"Of course," Remus said quietly while Sirius, in a louder voice, said "Any time, Harry."

Remus cleared his throat. He thought of what would have happened if he or, God forbid, Dora had died in the war. Of what he would have wanted Teddy to see and know and learn about him…

"You know, there's a bookshop near the post office that Lily used to spend hours in," Remus said. "We could go see if they're still there, and if they're open."

"And we can show you the bakery," Sirius said. "They made this chocolate cake with chopped strawberries in the ganache that was just so good."

"It was to die for."

"It was your parents' wedding cake," Sirius nodded. "And the park where we used to bring you must still be around—maybe we could introduce Teddy to swings."

"It was right by the fish and chips stand we used to go to," Remus said.

"Oh yeah," Sirius said, face brightening. "That fish and chips stand… we went every Friday, but James was making daily trips there when your mum was pregnant with you."

"Yeah?" Harry asked with a smile.

"Yes," Remus said. "This was a very, very happy place before it became a tragic one."

"I've had enough of tragedy," Harry said, stuffing his hands in his coat pocket. "Fuck Voldemort. I want to see all the happy things."

Sirius grinned, dropped down into his dog form, gave a bark that startled Teddy awake, and started trotting back towards the village.

WC: 2249