AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Hey guys! How's it going?

Not much has changed my end but I have managed to get some of my writing mo-jo back, so I thought I would celebrate by posting this chapter a day earlier than I planned.

As always a huge thank you to crestoflight3, Scarlett-95 and YumeTakato for your reviews and DMs, and thank you to everyone who has followed and favourited.

I hope you're all staying safe and sane, and I hope you enjoy today's chapter!

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO | MIDNIGHT SNACK

Dear Sora

I know I said I would try to write to you every day, but that was before I knew how crazy things were going to get. Just when I think I've caught my breath, it's time to move on again. I know you said travelling with Donald and Goofy was non-stop, but experiencing it for myself is something else.

It's been almost a week since we left Disney Castle, but we've already seen so many beautiful places. I trained with Phil and Hercules in the Coliseum and I'm officially a Junior Hero now! The training wasn't at all what I expected, but I'm excited to be able to compete in the Games. Hercules said they'll be ready soon, and he wants you to come back to fight in them. We should enter together, and while we're there maybe you can tell me how to become a True Hero (speaking of which, I think I know why you promised to take me stargazing on Olympus).

Wonderland was an… unusual experience. It was lovely to see Alice again, even though I hardly recognised her. It seems a lot has happened in her world since you last visited. She mentioned a Jabberwocky and a war, but we couldn't stay long enough to find out the full picture. She has invited us all over for tea when you're safe again, so maybe she can tell us then.

Donald got us lost in the jungle. Three times. He said it was because you weren't there to take the lead (but Goofy said you got lost a lot, too). It took most of the day to find Tarzan and the others and they were very surprised to see us. Jane and her father live in the jungle now with Tarzan and the apes. I didn't expect them to be so huge! The apes, I mean, not Jane and her father. They hope that you will come and visit them once this is all over.

Right now we're on our way to Agrabah. Naminé is learning how to fly the Gummi ship, and she's doing a lot better than me because she remembers some of your memories. Donald and Goofy tried to teach me, but it didn't end well. I learned how to roll the ship but then couldn't figure out how to make it stop, so we were spinning through space for a solid ten minutes before Donald managed to get to the controls. They haven't let me fly the ship again since then... (and, honestly, I don't blame them.)

I wish I could have been seeing all these worlds with you. Your stories don't do them justice, and I know you have more stories to tell me. I'm going to some worlds that you've never visited though, so maybe I'll have a thing or two to tell you by the time this is all over. And Naminé reckons there are even more worlds out there that none of us have been to, so we should definitely go exploring once this is all over.

I've been dreaming about you a lot lately. Are you making that happen? They've been nice dreams, for the most part at least. Last night I dreamed we were back in school, like none of this had ever happened, but instead of Mrs Takara it was Maleficent teaching us about politics or… something. It was the strangest dream. I don't remember much, just that she was saying something about using the enemy of your enemy to your advantage and you kept telling me to pay attention (that was the weirdest thing – seeing you being all serious in class). I wondered if it might have had some kind of hidden meaning, but everyone we know is either with Luxu or against him so if you were trying to tell me something, then the message has most definitely not been received.

The other dreams have been much nicer, just you and me watching the stars or sitting by the fire. Is it bad for me to admit that I miss being stuck with you in the labyrinth? Not the running for our lives part, that sucked, but at night time when it was just you and me… I miss that. I miss you.

A fat, wet tear landed squarely on the page, smudging the ink, and Kairi wiped her cheeks on the back of her sleeve. She set the pen aside and raked her fingers through her hair as she took a deep breath, blinking back the rest of the tears. She pressed a hand over her heart, fingers tracing the silvery scars as she reached for him. Maybe this time… just maybe…

The connection faded, disappearing behind a… she still hadn't figured out a proper way to describe it. It was still there, she knew it, but she couldn't see it or feel it. Like it was stretching into a cloud of smoke so thick that she couldn't follow… Not for the first time, she wrapped herself around the connection and tugged with all her heart.

Nothing.

She pulled herself back to her body and grit her teeth against the wave of tears that threatened to fall. Tracing their connection was like picking at a healing wound; what often started as a small itch always left her in more pain than before, red and raw, and yet she couldn't stop. She wrapped her fingers around the pen again. The shard of Sora's heart sent out a pulse of warmth that helped soothe the ragged ache in her chest.

Can you feel what Naminé is doing? Maybe it's too small for you to tell yet, but you have so many friends that I'm sure it won't be long before you start to notice. We all agreed that we would go last, once Naminé had had a chance to visit all the people you've met. We couldn't take the risk that Luxu might figure out what we were up to. I'm sure he'll figure out what we're doing sooner rather than later – he has your heart in his hands, after all – but we want to keep him guessing for as long as possible. Maybe, if we're lucky, we might just make it to all of your friends before he catches up to us.

Naminé told me, by the way – about what you asked her to do in the Graveyard. I know I don't really have the moral high ground here after what I tried to do, but when this is all over you and I are going to have a serious talk, mister. No more self-sacrificing, do you understand? Not from you or from me. Or Riku. Or Xion or Roxas or Aqua or… Actually, it'll probably be a shorter list if I write the people who haven't given themselves up for someone else. Maybe when this is over, we all need to have a talk about

"Kairi?" It was accompanied by a gentle knock; she glanced up to find Goofy standing in the doorway. "We're almost there."

"Thanks," She said with a smile. "I'll just be a minute." Goofy nodded and gave her a small smile before ducking back out in to the corridor.

I have to go now, it's almost time to head out again. Did you always feel this excited whenever you arrived at a new world? Like nervous, but in a good way? I wonder if Jasmine will remember me. We didn't really talk all that much. I'm sure she'll remember you, though, without a doubt.

Hang in there, Sora. We're coming.

I love you.

This was hopeless.

Ven slammed the notebook shut with a huff. Another sleepless night filled with dreams he couldn't remember. He collapsed back against his pillows with a sigh and turned to stare out of the window. The sky was black velvet studded with diamonds; far too dark to be anywhere close to sunrise. Still, there would be no going back to sleep now. Whatever he had been dreaming about had left him on high alert, and as he peeled back the bedsheets in defeat he wiped the remnants of a cold sweat from the back of his neck.

He might not have been so restless if he could just remember what it was that had woken him so violently. He shrugged his way in to a jacket to ward off the early morning chill and frowned. He remembered... a tower, a big heavy book, and a feather – burgundy with a flash of white. He'd seen it before, and recently too, but the where and the when escaped him.

He pinched his nose to stave off the oncoming headache as he reached for the glass of water on his bedside table. Empty. The headache was preparing to launch an assault on his temples and he slipped his feet in to his shoes to make his way down to the kitchen. Water seemed to be the only way to take the edge off the pain that was about to settle in behind his eyes – the colder the better. Cold enough that the ache in his teeth would be strong enough for him to ignore the pounding in his head.

Riku and Aqua were Diving daily now in a desperate attempt to find something useful, and whilst Ven knew the importance of trying to unlock whatever was hidden inside his heart he could have done without the constant headaches. Their attempts had been less fruitful than everyone had hoped, and had done more to kick up silt and muddy the waters of Ven's memory than provide any form of answers or clarity. At most they'd led to a string of dreams which were forgotten before he could open up his journal.

He slipped in to the kitchen, letting the door click quietly closed behind him before he made his way over to the sink. There was no need for the light; he knew the kitchen like the back of his hand. He filled his glass and made his way back to his usual chair where he drank a big gulp of water before leaning forward to massage his temples.

Something shifted behind him. He froze, his breath catching in his throat, and he waited to hear the sound again. It didn't come, and somehow that was worse. He could feel the presence behind him, waiting to strike, and he quickly assessed his options. He could strike first, but going in blind could leave him vulnerable; he had no idea how big or powerful the shadow was, but the fact that it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention was enough to give him pause. What if it was Luxu? He'd been to this world before, after all, and had come and gone unscathed despite crossing blades with both Ven and Aqua. What if he'd come back to lay his hands on something else? Or, worse, someone else? Ven swallowed thickly; better to know his enemy, then. He would make a break for the light, keyblade in hand, and if he didn't make it then he would have to hope he could cause a loud enough commotion to wake the others.

He took a deep breath and leapt to his feet, sending the chair tumbling backwards where he heard it hit something soft as he darted across the kitchen, reaching for the switch with one hand while he summoned his keyblade with the other, closing his eyes for the briefest moment to keep from blinding himself as he span on his heel to face his opponent.

Vanitas was leaning heavily against the counter, shielding his eyes from the light with a furious sneer. He kicked the chair away and it fell to the ground with a deafening clatter. The sound made Ven jump, and his startled voice fell back into his throat.

"V-Vanitas?" he breathed.

"Surprised to see me, brother?" Golden eyes flicked from Ven's face to his keyblade, which he quickly dismissed. Vanitas arched an eyebrow.

"Well… yes! Especially when you try and sneak up on me!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here? Why were you sneaking around the… wait, what are you wearing?" His eyes travelled over the black cargo shorts and the long black vest, settling on the white skull that had been printed on the front. Vanitas scowled and folded his arms.

"Clothes," he bit back curtly. "And I wasn't sneaking."

"Well then why were the lights off?"

"I happen to prefer the dark. What's your excuse?"

"I only came in for some water," he answered. His eyes travelled to the glass which had been knocked over when he had bolted from the table; the water was slowly creeping along the wood towards a plate that definitely hadn't been there when Ven had grabbed a glass of water before going to bed. There was food on it, too – half eaten. The cutlery was abandoned nearby. It took a moment for his sleep-addled brain to put the pieces of the puzzle together, and when they finally clicked he turned back to Vanitas with a frown. "Were you eating that?"

"Well nobody else was," Vanitas grumbled. "It had been sitting in the pantry for days." Ven frowned.

"How do you know that?" Vanitas didn't give him an answer, and after a moment's thought Ven huffed and folded his arms. "Have you been here the whole time?!"

"I come and go," he answered with a shrug.

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"You're not my keeper-"

"I've been so worried about you!" To his surprise the proclamation seemed to make Vanitas uncomfortable; his sneer faltered and he shifted his weight, rocking on to his back foot.

"I know." The lack of venom in his voice through Ven off-guard, and his own voice seemed to desert him. Vanitas rolled his eyes and stared off to the side, avoiding Ven's gaze. "I heard what you said to your friend Roxas."

"You did?" Ven swallowed nervously, casting his mind back to the conversation. They'd been at the very edge of the summit – how had Vanitas even heard them? Another thought occurred to him then and he began to laugh; quietly at first, but it quickly bubbled over as a wave of emotions began pouring out of him in a rush. Vanitas glared at him.

"What's so funny?" he demanded.

"That's the second time you've been eavesdropping on me talking about you," Ven replied. Vanitas' glare seemed to lose some of its fury then, though he folded his arms with a huff that only served to fuel Ven's laughter.

"I don't see how that's funny," he snapped. It wasn't, in truth, but weeks of worrying over Vanitas' safety were finally escaping him. He tried to explain himself, but he choked on his laughter and soon gave up. Vanitas rolled his eyes. "I should have knocked you out and snuck out the window," he muttered. He turned towards the door and Ven's laughter quickly sobered.

"I'm sorry - Vanitas, wait," he said, sidestepping to place himself between Vanitas and the door. "You don't have to go." Vanitas sent him a withering stare.

"I don't exactly belong here."

"That doesn't matter," Ven countered firmly. "Please, Vanitas, don't go. Stay."

The plea seemed to catch him off-guard and for a moment Ven thought he saw the mask fall to reveal a wide array of emotions beneath; too many to name. It was back in place quickly, though Vanitas grimaced and turned his head away, squeezing his eyes shut. The shadows at his feet began to bubble and writhe until eventually an unversed emerged. It was small and hunched over on all fours, like a cat, and as it looked up at Vanitas its ears canted back uncertainly.

"Go," Vanitas murmured. The unversed watched him for a moment before quickly turning on its tail and darting towards the door, its white paws gleaming in the dim light.

Wait… White paws?

"What was that?" Ven asked. Vanitas turned back to him with a frown.

"An unversed," he said slowly. Ven pouted.

"I know that," he said, "but the unversed are normally dark. That one wasn't-"

"It doesn't matter," Vanitas grumbled. Ven almost thought he saw a splash of colour flooding Vanitas' cheeks, and he desperately fought the urge to press the issue (though he filed that particular line of questioning away for later). Vanitas folded his arms and glanced up at Ven from beneath his furrowed brow. "Did you… Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" Vanitas paused, seemingly steeling himself. His fingers curled and uncurled in to fists as his shoulders stiffened.

"What you said to Roxas," he murmured. "Do you really think that I… Do you really have darkness in your heart?"

It wasn't hard to guess what he'd been trying to ask and Ven felt his heart skip several excited beats. He stuffed his hands in to his pockets and tried to play it cool (even though he could feel the grin that was threatening to split his face in two).

"Yeah, I do," he said. "Aqua says it's because my heart was never supposed to be pure, so when it's repaired itself it's kind of gone back to how it should have been. Light and dark. It's never gonna be the way it was before, but it's better. We don't have to be one or the other anymore."

"You sound like Sora," Vanitas murmured with a roll of his eyes. Ven's stomach back-flipped.

"You… You spoke to Sora?" Vanitas met his gaze and arched an eyebrow.

"That's right, I guess she never told you." He folded his arms with a smirk and leant back against the counter. Ven frowned.

"Who?" he asked. When Vanitas remained silent Ven wracked his brains, trying to figure out who Vanitas was talking about. "Kairi?" Vanitas nodded and Ven sighed heavily. "What else hasn't she told us about?" Vanitas snickered.

"Don't be so hard on your little princess," he said. "It's not like any of you really stopped to ask her I got out of the Graveyard and in to her little heart." Ven felt the flush creeping up his ears as he realised that Vanitas was right.

"Well… Would you tell me now?" he asked. "I never really got the chance to ask Kairi about Sora. I spent so long sleeping in his heart that now it feels weird not to know what he's up to. Well… I mean guess I know what he's up to right now…" He shivered, remembering all too well the sight of Sora drenched in darkness.

He was grateful then when Vanitas began to speak. Without the venom in his voice it was remarkable just how much he sounded like Sora, and the sound was both comforting and disconcerting all at once, but the differences in the way Vanitas and Sora spoke were like… well, they were like the differences between Ven and Roxas.

After his defeat in the Graveyard Vanitas had lingered on the brink of existence and… not. It was here Sora had found him, accepting Vanitas in to his heart without question (and without consent, judging by the way Vanitas grumbled about the experience). After that he'd been an unwilling third wheel to Sora's hunt for Kairi, their reunion, and the months they'd spent fighting for their lives.

"I didn't really pay attention to much of it," he grumbled. "I sort of just drifted in and out… Next thing I know Kairi's gone and Sora's stuck with Luxu and the others." Ven swallowed thickly past the lump in his throat.

"What did… What did they do to him?" Vanitas shrugged.

"Not much," he answered. At Ven's disbelieving frown he continued. "They pretty much left him alone until they got wind of you lot coming to try and save him."

"Then what happened?" The fact that even Vanitas looked uncomfortable should have been enough reason for him to take his question back, but he just had to know. "I know about… I know about the darkness in Sora's heart and how sometimes he… well he does… that. But how did Luxu make it permanent?"

"It only happens when he gets desperate, so that's what they did. Backed him in to a corner and kept pushing him and pushing him until he had to give in."

"But how?" he pressed. "I have to know, Vanitas. Please." Vanitas frowned and gave Ven a hard stare as the silence stretched out between them. Ven refused to back down; matching Vanitas's stare with one of pure determination. Eventually Vanitas sighed heavily.

"It started out with fighting," he answered. "You've seen the Apprentices fight; you know how strong they are. They started one on one, relentless, and then they started pairing up to wear him down. After that it was mind games, Luxu getting inside his head, making him doubt himself…"

"But Sora's strong," Ven said, but his voice was weak and his throat was beginning to burn.

"He's not invincible," Vanitas retorted curtly. "Even he had a breaking point. Everybody does." Ven winced and lowered his eyes. Of course he'd known that whatever Luxu had done to Sora couldn't have been pleasant, but to actually hear about it (even if he was fairly certain Vanitas was sparing him the worst of the detail)… He clenched his hands in to fists and lifted his gaze again.

"Then we'll just have to fight to get him back," he said. "In the morning I'll take you to see Aqua and then we can-"

"Nope," said Vanitas, throwing his hands up and lifting his chin. "I'm not here to be part of your little pow-wow; I'm only here for the free food. If little Miss Master finds out I'm still here then-"

"Wait, still here?" Ven asked. "Aqua knew you were here?" Vanitas' shoulders tensed and he folded his arms tightly.

"She saw me once," he sniffed. "I've been avoiding her since, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"But why?" Ven asked. "She'd be happy to see you." Vanitas snorted.

"Hardly. Not after some of the things I've done to her. Or to you." Ven waved his hand.

"She's over it. We all are! I swear! C'mon, Vanitas-"

"No way," he growled. "If she finds out I'm here then I'm leaving."

"So you want me to lie? To Aqua?" he asked. His stomach tied itself in knots and he shook his head. "I can't. I won't. She deserves to know-"

"Nice to know you've got my back," Vanitas drawled.

"And so will Aqua," he said. "And Kairi and Naminé, and Sora once we get him back. We're all on your side, Vanitas, why won't you trust us?" Vanitas frowned, lips curling in to an uncomfortable sneer.

"It's… It's complicated."

"No, it's not. You're just stubborn." Vanitas glared and Ven glared right back. "I know this is all new to you and it's okay to be scared-"

"I'm not scared."

"Fine, fine, not scared," he said. "But come on, Vanitas. Can't you at least give us a chance? I know you can just poof right out of here if you want to, so you must have been sticking around for a reason – and don't pretend like Aqua's food is that good."

"Don't make me regret not knocking you out again," Vanitas warned in a dangerous tone. His eyes narrowed in to a menacing glower and Ven laughed.

"That won't work on me," he said, "I'm not scared of you anymore."

"You should be," he hissed.

"You're already settled in here, so why not just make it official?" he suggested. "Where have you been staying, anyway? One of the guest rooms?"

"And risk bumping in to one of you losers? I don't think so." Ven frowned.

"So… where have you been staying?"

"There's a cavern up near the summit. You guys never go around the back of the mountain." Ven gawked.

"So you're… You're sleeping on the floor?!" Vanitas shrugged, unmoved by Ven's explosion.

"Where else would I sleep?"

"In a bed!" Vanitas snorted and rolled his eyes.

"You really have had it easy," he muttered.

"You can't sleep on the floor, Vanitas!"

"Why not? Seems like just about everyone else has at this point," he retorted. "You should try it."

"I am not going to sleep on the floor when I could be sleeping in a bed!" Ven huffed. "C'mon, Vanitas-"

"Keep pushing and you're gonna push me right out the door," he warned. Ven threw his hands up and rocked his weight back on to his heels.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop," he said. "But… just consider it. Please." To Ven's shock, Vanitas' glare lessened somewhat; without it he looked almost surprised and a little confused.

"You're backing down?" he asked. Ven shrugged.

"Well… yeah," he answered. "For now, at least. I can't force you; you have to make up your own mind. I'd rather you were here, even if you aren't – y'know – here here."

"So you're gonna lie to your Master?" Ven pouted.

"She's not my Master, she's my friend," he said. "And… I mean, I can't lie to her, but if she doesn't ask…" He trailed off with a smile and a shrug, leaving the rest unspoken.

"And what about the others? What if they ask?"

"I doubt they will," he said. "They've all got their own stuff going on right now. And the others here are too focused on trying to figure out what this whole Keyblade legacy is all about."

"Keyblade legacy?" Vanitas asked.

"Xemnas was looking in to some kind of keyblade legacy that apparently involved Luxord, Larxene, Marluxia and Demyx," he explained. "When Luxord got his body back he said he saw memories of me, so we're guessing I'm caught up in all this too, but we still haven't been able to figure out how. We think there might be answers in my missing memories but honestly it's been weeks and we're getting nowhere-" He stopped then, struck by a sudden thought, and he turned slowly towards Vanitas as an idea began to form. Vanitas shifted uncomfortably.

"What?" he grunted.

"What if you have some of my memories?" he asked. "We were both made from the same heart – what if they're not just my memories? What if they're our memories?"

"Our memories?" Vanitas repeated with no small amount of disdain.

"What's the first thing you remember? Your oldest memory?" Vanitas' frown became a sneer.

"You. And him. The moment I was formed."

"But that's not what happened. You weren't formed when Xehanort split my heart. Our heart. You had always been there, Xehanort just separated us. You have half our heart; what if you have half our memories?"

"I don't have any memories of before," Vanitas bit back.

"But what if that's because your memories are just like mine?" Ven pressed. "I don't remember anything before Xehanort brought me here, but I have something sleeping in my heart. What if we haven't been able to figure out what's in there because the memories are incomplete?" Vanitas seemed to at least consider it judging by the way his brow furrowed thoughtfully. Ven tried his best to keep the excitement blooming in his chest from getting the better of him, and it was a struggle to keep his voice level. "C'mon, Vanitas, don't you want to find out where we came from?" Golden eyes narrowed.

"And just how do we find it out?" Ven bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning.

"Well Aqua and Riku-"

"Nope." He made for the door again and Ven pressed himself against it.

"Okay, no Aqua."

"No anyone," Vanitas corrected. Ven grimaced.

"Fine, nobody else," he agreed, "but that's going to make it a lot harder."

"Why? I've been inside your heart before, brother." The memory made Ven shiver.

"Fine," he grumbled. He folded his arms and tried not to pout. "Y'know, you could at least make life easier for the both of us by moving in to the keep."

"Not happening," Vanitas grunted. Ven sighed.

"Then I guess I'll come to you," he conceded. "Wanna show me the way?"

"And have everyone wondering why you're exhausted tomorrow?" he countered quickly. His lips curled in to a sneer. "Can't have you lying to anyone, can we?" Ven frowned.

"Then how will I find you?" There was no way Vanitas would risk staying anywhere that might be easily discovered, and Ven was wary enough about exploring the back of the mountain in broad daylight, let alone under cover of night.

"Meet me at the summit after sundown and I'll show you the way," Vanitas answered begrudgingly. After a moment's thought he quickly added: "Bring food." Ven smiled and nodded.

"You got it." Vanitas' lips twitched in to a smirk.

"Now shouldn't you be getting back to bed? Or do you plan on taking a little nap tomorrow? I hear you're good at sleeping on the job."

"Ha-ha," Ven drawled. He took his now-empty glass back to the sink and refilled it again. "Good night, Vanitas." Vanitas grunted in response and Ven made for the door. He paused, glancing back over his shoulder. "Vanitas?"

"What?"

"You will be there tomorrow, won't you?" he asked. "You won't leave?" Vanitas' glower melted a fraction and he quickly folded his arms with a huff to cover it.

"I'll be there." Ven smiled.

"Okay." He turned back to the hall but his feet remained rooted to the floor. He tightened his grip on his glass and turned back again. "Vanitas?"

"What?!"

"I'm glad you're here." He savoured the surprise on Vanitas' face for a brief moment before finally leaving. The door didn't close all the way, and through the gap a thin sliver of light spilled in to the hallway.

In the silence that followed, Ven almost swore he heard Vanitas mutter: "Me too."

To everyone asking what Vanitas has been up to – nothing! He's been there the whole time! What a sneaky boi…

Let me know what you thought, and I'll see you next time.