Jane only spent a little while on packing when she lost the motivation. Her mind was still on Frost and how he was coming back from his last vacation when he had a car accident that cost him his life. Jane couldn't imagine the last thought that went through Frost's mind, she didn't want to imagine it happening to her and Maura when they were coming back from their trip. 'Fuck', Jane muttered to herself. 'Maybe I am depressed. No I can't be, I'm stronger than that,' she gave her head a shake before falling backwards onto her bed. She turned to the bedside table where her cell phone was lying face up.
Jane huffed before reaching over and calling Maura, when the M.E. didn't pick up she got worried. Jane then called her mother, who picked up right away. "Ma, is Maura home?"
"Um yeah Jane, she went to go take a bath, why? What's the matter?" Angela could sense the upset tone in her daughter's voice.
"I just, I wanted to talk to her, can you just let her know I'll be right by my phone."
"Sure sweetie, are you okay?"
"I will be once Maura calls me back."
"Are you thinking of..."
"No Ma, Jesus, I wouldn't ever think of that," Jane groaned in frustration. "Just have her call me back."
"Okay Jane, okay. I'll tell her, please be safe."
"I'm fine Ma, Geez. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay. Good night."
"Good night Jane I'll let Maura know you called and have her call you back as soon as possible. I love you Jane."
"Thanks Ma, I love you too, bye," Jane hung up her phone, rubbing her temples with her fingers, feeling some tension. She got up from her bed and went to get some headache relief medicine from the bathroom cabinet before drinking water to help the medicine go down.
Jane went back to her bed and laid down, closing her eyes.
Maura was in her bathtub having a nice relaxing bubble bath when there was an intense knocking on her bathroom door. She jumped slightly, not expecting anyone to disrupt her comforting soak.
"Maura, are you almost done in there?" Angela asked and Maura sighed.
"What's the rush?"
"Jane tried calling you, told me to tell you to call her. It sounded urgent."
"We just seen her at the Dirty Robber. Is she alright?" Maura asked, panic set in.
"She sounded upset and she really wanted to talk to just you. Thought you should know."
"Thanks, I'm almost done," Maura started finishing up her bath quickly, she left her phone in the bedroom. Maura got dried off and changed before heading to her room and she tried dialing Jane. When the woman didn't pick up Maura got even more worried. She went downstairs and told Angela she was going over to Jane's.
Angela nodded, "Is everything alright, do I need to come with you?"
"No, I'll go, and I'll give you an update."
"I hope she's okay."
"Me too," Maura sighed, grabbing her bag and keys, leaving her house and driving to Jane's apartment. Her anxiety went up every moment that went by. When Maura pulled up to the curb she went up to Jane's apartment, glad the woman gave her a key. She entered the apartment and looked around for Jane who she ended up finding in her bedroom. Maura approached Jane and instead of shaking her awake, she placed two fingers on Jane's neck, sighing with relief as she felt a pulse but Jane jerked upwards, startling her, smacking her hand away.
"Maura, what the hell?" Jane's heart was racing.
"I-I was checking your pulse to make sure you were alive."
"Well you scared the shit out of me Maura, and touching my neck you trying to give me a heart attack," Jane ran her fingers through her hair.
"Do you still have dreams of him? Dreams of Hoyt?" Maura asked, realizing why Jane got so frightened by her actions.
"No, but that doesn't mean I don't get startled when I'm asleep and someone is touching my neck. I guess you got my message that I wanted to talk to you," Jane laid back down, resting her hands on her stomach, Maura joined her laying on her side.
"Yeah, when you didn't answer the phone I got worried, Angela sounding worried didn't help. So what did you want to talk about?"
"I think you and Ma may be right... I think I might be well... you know..."
"Depressed?" Maura asked and Jane nodded, cringing at the word.
"I really hate that word."
"So I've come to notice. It's okay to admit you have a problem, that doesn't make you any less weak, you know."
"Yeah I know... I was trying to get motivation to pack and then it got me thinking about how the last thing Frost did was go on vacation and then... then he didn't make it home..." Jane tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks. Maura observed her friend and pulled her close. "I miss him so much Maura, there was so much more he had to live for. We have very dangerous jobs and he died in a car accident, a fucking car accident. I think about him every single day and I'm so tired Maura, I'm so tired of missing him."
"I miss him too Jane, you and him were always so close I know you have been taking his death the hardest, even if you aren't exactly open about it."
"And then after losing him, I end up losing my baby, my chance at gaining some sort of hope back, some sort of light at the end of this really dark tunnel. Things just keep on happening when things are going so well, I just... I'm so tired of people I care about being taken away from me. I'm tired of everything being so screwed up."
"You have me Jane," Maura took Jane's hand in hers. "We can get through this together, I'll help in absolutely any way that I can."
"But what if I lose you Maura, then what?"
"I hope that it never comes to that."
"It's always going to be lingering in my mind Maura, the what ifs... the constant fear of what if something happens to you. I can't go through this again, I can't go through another loss, it'll fucking kill me."
Maura sighed, shifting to lift up and cup Jane's cheek, "I'll try to do everything I can to make sure I'm okay, just like I'll be here to make sure you're okay. Maybe living alone isn't the best idea for you Jane. I know that your lease is up soon..."
Jane closed her eyes at Maura's touch, "You're not offering me what I think you are, are you?"
"I know it's a lot to take in but you are at my place more than your own and I know Angela wouldn't mind you being around in a more permanent manner."
Jane looked at Maura, almost rolling her eyes, "When you mention my mother it doesn't help your case very well. And isn't living together I don't know, pushing it just a little bit?"
"You don't have to make up your mind right now just know that the offer is out there and it will remain that way. Give you something to hope for, a light at the end of that dark tunnel."
"I honestly don't know what I'd ever do without you. I really never want to find out."
"Let's hope that you won't, in the meantime you should think about things that make you happy, instead of living in fear you should just live for the moment. Live for us," Maura added, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jane's mouth. "Can we try to do that?"
Jane's face softened as she nodded, cupping her cheek, pulling her into a deeper kiss, "I can try to do that." Jane responded after pulling away from Maura's mouth, automatically missing those soft lips of her best friend she pulled her friend even closer, wrapping her arms around Maura's waist, kissing her again. She opened her mouth and let Maura's tongue brush against hers. Jane groaned in pleasure as she pulled Maura so she was on top of her. Jane pulled back to catch her breath, closing her eyes as Maura placed soft kisses on her neck, while rolling her hips down against Jane's. "You're so good at that Maura." She whispered in a huskier voice than normal.
"There's more where that came from, if you're up to it."
Jane bit her bottom lip, "With you, always. I love your mouth on me..."
Maura blushed at Jane's words, moving down to nip at her collarbone, she slipped her hands underneath Jane's shirt, roaming against her abs. "I love you Jane Rizzoli..." she whispered causing Jane to pull away slightly.
"You do?" Jane observed Maura's face.
"I do, very much so."
"I think I might just..." Jane started only to be interrupted by the ringing of Maura's cell phone.
Maura frowned before jumping up, "Jane, that might be your mother. I forgot I told her I'd tell you if you were okay. I have to take this..."
Jane nodded, shaking her head at how Maura jumped out of bed, answering her phone.
"Yes Angela, I promise Jane's alright, I just forgot to let you know she was," Maura spoke, glancing over to Jane, "Um yeah... I think I'm going to stay over tonight... Yeah sorry to scare you, I'll tell Jane that. See you tomorrow Angela, bye." Maura sighed, hanging up the phone. She turned back to Jane, "Angela said she's glad that you're okay and she loves you, and wants you to come over for breakfast tomorrow. Was that alright?"
Jane smiled, "Yeah I guess I can manage you and my mother at breakfast, but you have to come back and finish what you started."
"A little eager are we?" Maura bit her bottom lip and Jane nodded. "Well in that case," Maura grinned, rejoining Jane in her bed, resuming her position on Jane's waist, pushing her best friend down to the mattress. "Anything specific you want me to do?"
Jane nodded to her lower half, looking up to her best friend with eyes filled with lust causing Maura to smirk, undoing Jane's pants. Maura moved her hand between Jane's legs after she pulled down her pants and underwear, her hand cupping Jane, causing her to jerk her hips forward. "Maura, not with your hand..."
"Oh... are you sure?"
"It wouldn't be the first time you did it you know."
"Yeah, but I didn't think you enjoyed it."
Jane smiled, "Always looking out for me, but your mouth does wonders Doctor Isles, you're very good at anatomy, you know all the right things to do, and I don't just let anyone down there."
"Am I the..."
"Only one? Yes Maura, you are the only one who I let do that," Jane admits. "Don't look so surprised."
"I'm not surprised, just... I feel very honored."
"As you should, now why don't you put your mouth to good use?" Jane winked, and Maura nodded, not saying anything else as she positioned herself between Jane's legs, kissing at each of Jane's thighs, before letting her tongue move against Jane's heat. Jane tossed her head back, tangling her fingers in Maura's hair as she worked her magic on her, driving her absolutely insane as she draped her legs over Maura's shoulders, enjoying all Maura and her mouth had to offer. All the doubts and fears drifted away turning into arousal as Maura continued to please her. Jane couldn't think of anything else.