I love it when my muse hits for stories randomly, I also love the responses I get when I post after a while. Enjoy this chapter, last one before Rizzles trip to Maine.
The rest of Rizzoli family breakfast went without a hitch, minus the glare Jane kept sending to her brother every time that he said something and sent a smirk to Maura. Maura was oblivious to what was going on. Tommy was just trying to get a rise out of Jane.
Frankie and Angela went off to work, Tommy went to go watch some television while TJ was taking a nap which he knew not to wake him up from after making that mistake several times.
"How long do you think your brother is going to stay here for?" Maura asked Jane in the kitchen as she fixed them some tea, even though Jane preferred coffee.
"Want me to kick him out? We can take over baby watching and he can go, bet he could use some alone time."
"Jane I don't think you should kick him out, wouldn't want to be rude, no matter how much I want to be alone with you, just us."
"Yeah he just had been irking my nerves all morning."
"I really don't know why that is. He hasn't said or done anything stupid that might set you off."
"Trust me Maura, he's done enough without your knowledge."
Maura leaned against the counter. "Like what exactly?"
"Just the way he looks at you, and then he keeps on flirting with you and you don't even notice you always think that he's just being nice."
"Well maybe in this case he was just being nice."
"No, I know exactly what he was doing Maura, he was trying to stir up this anger inside of me. He called me out about not being able to make a move on you and I couldn't prove him wrong because Ma and Frankie were here, but what I wouldn't give to prove him wrong," she took a sip of the tea.
Maura looked at Jane, "Well why don't you prove him wrong if it bothers you so much."
"This goes against my whole wanting to keep this a secret for now. We're still trying to figure things out I don't want to rush anything."
"But we've already took that step into intimacy, we're already pretty serious in that aspect of things. If sleeping together before figuring everything out isn't rushing things, then I don't know what is. If you want Tommy to stop flirting with me I think we need to show him that it's never going to happen between him and I. But if you don't want to tell him I completely understand, the choice really is up to you sweetheart, he's your brother not mine," Maura placed a hand on Jane's, giving it a squeeze.
"You're so patient with me, and I'm grateful for it," Jane squeezed her hand back. "I think we should go join him since we're not kicking him out then," Jane got up from the stool and went to sit on the couch next to Tommy, Maura following, her tea in her hands. "Hey Tommy, mind if we watch something else? What is this anyway, a soap opera?"
"If you must know Janie it is, Ma and I watch this and we have discussions about it. It's how we bond over something that isn't TJ. I swear that's all she likes me for, that I gave her a grandchild."
"It has made her not talk to me about giving her any."
"You tried to give her one and it didn't work out, she doesn't want to bring you down by bringing it up anymore."
"I didn't try giving her one, it just sort of happened."
"Lydia and I said the same thing and I couldn't be happier about having little TJ around when I can."
"You two did manage to make a cute child, considering how you both look," Jane smiled and Tommy rolled his eyes, Maura elbowing her in the side.
"At least I stayed around for my son, your guy didn't even seem to care to make an effort," Tommy's words caused Jane to make a face between a scowl and a frown.
"We're not going to talk about Casey or my baby alright?" Jane stood up from the couch.
"Jane sit down, I didn't mean to upset you."
"No Tommy, I think that's exactly what you tried to do."
"Honest to God Jane, that wasn't my intention, please sit," Tommy frowned and Maura looked up at her best friend, shrugging.
"I think he's being sincere Jane, but I can only make a hypothesis from his current reaction."
"I won't bring it up again Jane I swear. I didn't know it was still such a sore subject."
"It'll always be a sore subject, you've never lost a child before so you'll never know how it feels. The pain, the agony, the guilt that consumes you because you're the cause of it, being the reason your baby didn't make it makes things that much harder to get over, so even if you don't bring it up again it'll still be lingering in my mind how I failed my own child, how I was trying to protect someone else I wasn't thinking about protecting me and my baby and now I have to live with that constant guilt every single day of my life!" Jane shouted with tears falling down her face before she went to head outside, slamming the door behind her, causing TJ to awaken and start to wail out.
"I didn't know she was taking it so hard Maura, I swear on that," Tommy frowned, going over to pick TJ up to try and calm him down.
Maura sighed before going outside to try and comfort her best friend. She seen her sitting in the sidecar of the motorcycle Maura hardly used, her face in the palm of her hands. Maura went to go over and squat down next to Jane, hand going to rub circles on her back in comfort. "Hey Jane, did you want to talk about it?"
Jane sighed, shifting to look at Maura, giving her head a shake, "Not really no."
Maura nodded her head in understanding, "I know it's not something you want to hear, but I don't think it was your fault."
"Nobody does Maura, nobody except me. No one understands why it is my fault. And Tommy really needs to learn how to think before he speaks. He's one that will never understand."
"He might not, but I know of someone who can understand your pain about losing a child. Maybe you can confide in Hope, she'd be the only one who will understand the most."
Jane frowned, "But you didn't exactly die Maura, Hope gets to be able to know you if she chooses. She has some sort of closure knowing that you're alive and well. And I'll never get to meet my child and I have to live with that everyday."
"Sweetie, I wish I knew what to say, how to react to how you're feeling, but I'm at a complete loss."
"Maura, that's the thing, you don't need to say anything, there's no proper way to react to this. All you have to do is be by my side, even if no words are said. I appreciate you trying to make an effort in understanding, but the truth is unless you go through the same thing you may never know, but that's okay. You're my best friend and that's what matters, that's what makes all the difference in the world. Us being by each other's side through everything life throws at us," Jane spoke everything she was feeling in this moment.
Maura nodded, leaning upwards to press a soft kiss against Jane's cheek. "I can do that, I can just be here, anytime you need."
"Maybe we can head up to Maine this evening instead of tomorrow afternoon, I mean you already are packed and I sort of got everything done. Plus the sooner it's just me and you, the better."
Maura smiled, "That sounds like a delightful plan, I'm all for it that way we can get some better privacy," she nodded towards Tommy who was looking outside the window, making TJ wave to them.
"Yeah, I swear he can be just as nosy as Ma sometimes," Jane stood up and got out of the sidecar with the help of Maura. They went inside and Jane looked at her brother, "I'm sorry if I woke up TJ..."
"And I'm sorry for making you so upset, it wasn't my intention at all. I didn't know things were still hard for you."
Jane sighed, "It's not something I like to talk about." Tommy handed TJ to his sister for her to hold. "Hey TJ. Aunt Janie is here."
"At least you get to be an awesome aunt, you're so natural with him," Tommy smiled in joy.
Maura gave Jane a warm smile, she did look natural with TJ in his arms. She was always so great with kids so this wasn't really a surprise to her, just a nice warm feeling Jane always seemed to bring her when TJ was around. She didn't think it was fair how Jane wouldn't be able to hold her own baby, that she couldn't be a parent, a title she would very well deserve. This thought caused her eyes to water, Jane heard Maura sniffle and look up at her.
"Maura, what's wrong?"
"Nothing Jane, just my thoughts getting the best of me."
"Uh TJ and I can go if you two want to be alone," Tommy interjected.
"Tommy, you don't have to do that," Maura shook her head and Tommy shrugged.
"I really was just staying until TJ woke up if I'm being honest. Trust me I know when I overstay my welcome. Plus I should probably get the little guy home."
Jane gave TJ a kiss on the head before handing him back to Tommy, "I'll get the playpen folded up, Maura did you want to help?"
"Sure I learned how to put it up from you, learn how to take it down," Maura rested her hand on Jane's arm before following her into the dining room.
"So penny for your thoughts Maura?" Jane glanced over at her best friend while they knelt down to start taking the playpen down.
"I was just admiring you with TJ, it's sweet how much you love him I can tell by the way you look at him. I just was thinking how life isn't fair, how life could take something away from someone who deserves everything this world has to offer. It's great that you get to be an Aunt but you would have been even more amazing as a mother. You losing your baby is the most unfair thing to ever happen and I feel for you," Maura admits. "I feel for you all of the time."
Jane smiled softly, "You're so sweet Maura Isles, did you know?"
Maura shrugged, "I've heard it mentioned a few times. You aren't half bad yourself, Jane Rizzoli. Sweet when you want to be, tough any other time," she stood up after the playpen was taken down completely. "We make a pretty great team."
"Yeah we do," Jane gave Maura's arm a squeeze, looking her in the eyes, about to lean over to kiss her best friend when Tommy entered the room.
"I was starting to wonder how long it would take you to finish taking down the playpen. Didn't realize you two were having an intense moment of eye sex," he chuckled, patting Jane on the back. "I was wrong about you Janie, looks like you are definitely able to make a move."
"Shut up Tommy," she gave her brother a shove. Maura looked at the two of them.
"What's eye sex, that is highly impossible..."
"Oh Maura, you have so much to learn and so much my sister is probably very willing to teach you," Tommy winked, going to put the playpen and TJ into the car.
"I swear my brother just keeps asking for trouble," Jane shook her head before explaining eye sex to Maura causing the M.E. to blush.
"Oh well in that case, we really do have a lot of eye sex, no wonder everyone thinks there's something going on between us, it's not very discreet, is it?"
"Not really no, I guess hiding our relationship seems like a pretty dumb thing to do."
"You were right though Jane, it'll be fun to have everyone keep wondering and doing real sexual things in private."
"We're going to do a quite a bit of that in Maine I can assure you."
"Oh, is that so? You seem very sure of yourself, I've missed this side of you, this confident strong woman that I've come to love over the years."
Jane leaned down to kiss the top of Maura's head, "You know what I'm starting to feel like my old self again, it's all thanks to you."
"Always happy to help, so let's go give Tommy and TJ our goodbyes so we can be alone, and explore more into the art and study of this eye sex phenomenon."
Jane laughed, shaking her head, "You're such a nerd." She couldn't wait to spend this weekend in Maine with this wonderful human being standing before her, looking radiant as always. Jane was in love and nothing was going to stand in the way of her happiness.
Thanks for reading this next chapter hope it was to your liking, Jane actually opened up a little bit more, poor thing feeling guilt for losing her child and then Maura being the loving friend and partner of Jane. Tommy is onto them, but let's face it everyone is, definitely isn't that big of a secret. I loved everything about this chapter, hope you did too.