Hitoshura

Riding on the back of a banana… was weird to say the least. What more when it was used to running bipedally? Well, it worked either way, with me perked at the devil's center of gravity, just barely hanging on due to the lack of a saddle or strap to keep me stable.

It didn't matter either way, but they both would improve my life greatly. Eh, who cares? I was able to get some rest for my feet and that was enough. Not only that, but the speed I traveled at also increased, no longer having to rely on walking when banana could run for much further than I could have in this state.

Though, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. Over the horizon peered the visage of a towering structure. It was weirdly shadowy in relation to our surroundings, seeing as the weather hadn't changed one bit from its usual daylight. I guess this place does have something similar to the vortex world after all.

"Nana, go as fast as you can, but stop once you're within range of the tower, I want you to stop." I commanded the devil beneath me, with it happily barking out its answer. "Yes, I'll give you more treats if you get there faster than I expected."

Banana seemed happy with this agreement, his legs speeding off, however, the traffic sign in my hand had other thoughts. Whispers of something dangerous from what I was able to gather. A devil potentially leagues above my paygrade. A challenge that would push me into the next level. "We shouldn't go there, man. I heard some fucked up shit leave that building." He warned, a laugh exiting my lips.

"So what? Isn't your main goal to die anyways?" I shot back, his voice dead silent.

"You don't know. You don't fucking know…" He muttered, terror and dread evident in his tone, my eyebrow rising in intrigue. "A friend of mine, fur as I call him, he's been inside there… Story after story, they didn't seem to end. Caught in the jaws of the beast, he was imprisoned there for tens of years, not once escaping despite his attempts. That monster doesn't kill people. It tortured him, for days on end, making even a thousand deaths more worth it than his punishment."

I stared, deadpan to his argument. Shrugging at his warning as the single goal of getting stronger stuck true to my mind. "It shouldn't be too much of a problem, I've dealt with those types before. Won't take long for me to find his weakness and ex-"

"But that's the issue!" He continued, his words heavily stressing on the word 'issue'. "And you know what? My friend said the exact same thing. He did his research, became mildly stronger, and entered his territory. He didn't return for another sixteen years, and when he did, his body looked far worse for wear."

I pondered on his words for a moment, my hands gripping tighter around the pole. High risk, high reward. But based on Sign's words, I'd have to raise our odds by a few digits. "Do you know any of his powers, appearance, or otherwise exploitable weaknesses? Maybe even resistances or immunities if you could."

"Heat." He answered swiftly. "If you're so adamant about going, I might as well make it less painful for myself. He can control temperature. How it works, Fur hadn't the slightest clue, nor did he ever get a peak of his appearance. Bastard only got out through sheer luck alone."

This was going to be harder than I thought. Shifting my vision towards the tower, I stared at its approaching figure, a weight pressing down on my body from all sides. There was no backing out now. And, if I was to get my power back, then I had to fight the strongest devil in this circle of hell. That train of thought might have been suicidal, but it was the fastest path to exacting my revenge on Lucifer.

'Whatever the cost, as they say.' I mused, eyes sharpening as we reached our destination. The tapping of Banana's feet came to a step, screeching as though they were tires. Right, just relax, and everything else should fall into place. At the thought, my heartbeat immediately rose, pumping in my ears as my breathing hastened. Everything's fine, nothing bad is going to happen, and I'm going to put that fucker on a pike.

Swallowing down my nervousness, I bit on my thumb and hung it over my ride's mouth, droplets of blood trickling down my finger and straight into his gullet. Sign complained that he wasn't getting any, and subsequently, he was smacked for it. Noises of amusement echoing from the fruit devil's 'hole'.

How did my life come to this moment? I'm talking to a banana and a street sign, something must've gone wrong and this is simply a manic episode created by my dying brain. Well, whatever, at least the scenery is better than the Vortex World.

Walking into the building via the front entrance, I called out if anyone lived there, receiving no response in return. Weird, but not totally implausible, no aspiring BDSM dungeon master would expose their location to their ignorant victims after all.

The main entrance hall was quite large, spanning two stories and leading to four spiraling staircases. Reminded me an awful lot of Chiyoda with the Diet Building, not a very fun time that was. And just like that time, there was going to be a tough boss waiting for us up ahead. Though, instead of Mot and his infinite ass blasting, a globe from the center of the room began floating in mid-air, a bellowing laughter following it. Would you look at that, they both live inside of inanimate objects.

"Welcome, planet polluters." Oh no… "Hope you like killing the earth with your mere existence. But, with a little reeducation, I think I can fix that." In a flash, he was gone, his presence having traveled somewhere else. Over up top on the balcony overlooking the ground floor, a figure coated under a veil of darkness revealed himself, the same voice speaking once more. "Why don't we start with your precious fossil fuel? Fossil fuel contributes most of the carbon emissions that enter the atmosphere and you want to know who puts them there? The government!" Ah shit, it's a conspiracy devil!

"Sounds pretty neat, Mr. Worldwide." I shouted, gaining his attention. "Why don't you back it up with a source.

"My source? I made it the fuck up." A frown broke my lips, my eye squinting as my grip over the sign tightened. "But, you may believe me, you may not! However, whether you like it or not, through hellfire or eternal frost, I will make you understand how much you're contributing to climate change."

What kind of crack house did I enter into? "The hell are you talking about!?" The sentient sign in my hand screeched. "You're not even making sense."

"Hoho~!?" The globe gleamed, his shiny head reflecting a beam of light. "Your mind is unenlightened; I have just the special lesson in store for you~." How did he become worse than Mot from just his words? "Don't worry, I'll make sure to treat you juuuust right!" He cheered as several objects from the room rose to attention, flying straight for us.

[A/N: Have I gone full crackhead mode? Yes, yes I have. My mind does things, and my fingers follow. Honestly, this fic is mostly braindead fun. I'll try to add some stuff that actually uses my brain, but that's for later. Now, I'm going to write some more, and some more. Copy paste stuff below.

Anyways, if you find anything wrong in the fic, let me know. I would love to hear your thoughts, opinions, and what I could have done in place of what is present.

Also, join discord server. I have one.: discord . gg / eTb2kPab4z

I also have a pa- tr eon at pa- t reon / balls1124 I'm not telling you to join it, but it would be nice

With that being said, see you next time.]