Chapter 3: A Deal is Made

Yes, you bastard, I am.

Her words echoed in Nadir's mind. The slap burned the side of his face, certain to leave bruises. It failed to send him backing away. He neither startled nor gasped, for it brought no surprise. Honestly, in such a situation, he might have expected far worse than a mere strike. Instead, his strong hands gripped her shoulders, holding the Mirage in place as his gaze pierced her eyes. He did not move. He did not speak.

Erika tensed as his hands held her still. What was he going to do? Strike her? Throw her to the ground in a rush of rage? Put his hands around her throat and repay the favor she did for his son?

But he did nothing. Nothing, but stare at her with an unreadable expression.

"Say something," she quietly ordered. "Say something, damn it!"

Nadir swallowed a knot in his throat. "Do you know this for certain?"

For an average woman, it may have been too early to know she was in the family way. However, for someone as deathly thin as Erika was, the slightest change in her body didn't go unnoticed. Beneath her waistline, though hidden under her vest at that moment, was a conspicuous distension in her pelvis. A firm little lump that had been subtly growing with each passing week. That was what had told her – beyond reasonable doubt – that she was carrying Nadir's child within her womb.

Averting her gaze to the wall over his shoulder, Erika muttered; "I'm not naïve, you fool. Yes, I'm certain."

A quivering breath left Nadir and his fingers tightened around her bony shoulders. Indeed, the cause of Erika's mysterious illness was a new life growing inside her. His child rested under her black heart.

It was unwise, but his first impulse was to smile. He had accepted he would never again be a father, but now fate seemed to offer him a second chance. For a passing instant, there was pure joy.

Nadir thought better of it before the expression could form, leaving his brow furrowed and his lips pressed together. This was not a joyful announcement. This was something else entirely. He found himself, for the first time, unable to guess what her actions might be. This Erika, unwilling mother-to-become, this Erika he did not know.

"Have you nothing more to say?" The woman's cool, quiet voice broke his thoughts.

Nadir lessened his grip, but his intense gaze stayed locked on her malformed face. "I must know," he whispered at last, "what will become of the child?"

Becoming woozy, Erika wrenched herself free of his hands. She lay back on the lounge, curled around a pillow. "If I'm fortunate, it will die inside me," she said, avoiding his eyes. "If not, I'll be visiting the apothecary as soon as my health allows."

The Mirage's implied words didn't sink in for a second or two more. When they did, horror joined them to sink its claws into Nadir's heart. She was talking about an abortifacient.

"Erika," the Persian's voice was fainter than a breath, "I beg you, do not."

Erika sat up to finish the tea that had gone cold as her expression.

Nadir continued despite her lack of a response. "I…I shall take it away. I swear. You will never have to lay eyes on it, if you are unwilling to. Just…please." The memory of Reza's smile returned to torment him with its gentle sweetness. His Adam's apple bobbed, and in a broken voice he said: "I cannot...cannot lose another."

"You say that now," Erika said, her voice louder than his, "until your 'precious child' is born without a face. Or born so frail and weak it cannot possibly survive long. And then what?" She looked at him, a silent challenge. "Then you'll leave me with it, and I'll have no choice but to drown it for its own good!"

Nadir clenched his fists until his nails stabbed his palms. "No, I will not leave it. You have my word." He was determined to save his baby's life, even if it meant a vicious fight. "I reared Reza alone. I will do it again for this child. If needed, I will take it from Paris and never return."

Erika got to her feet, taking the teacup into the kitchen. "You would never see me again...over this?" she asked, her voice stale. "You cause my misery, and you would happily abandon me after I've done my duty as a woman?"

She began to fill her cup, but paused. In one quick movement, she hurled the cup at Nadir's head. It missed, shattered, and spilled its hot contents over the wallpaper.

"I never should have trusted you!" Erika shouted. "I never should have allowed you into my home! I never should have been close to you in any way!"

Nadir reached her in two long strides. He seized her wrists as she made to strike him again, pinning her still before she could hurt herself, the baby, or him. "Stop, Erika! Calm yourself and listen to me!" Nadir raised her hands over her head, trying to force her to look into his eyes. "I would never, as long as I am still breathing, cease to be your companion. Yet, should you wish both the child and I away, I would not hesitate. If it meant the life of the child, I would do it."

Erika slammed her fists into his chest, but still he didn't release her. "You've lost a child by my hand before, what difference would it make?!"

The Persian took pause. She had spit venom at him many times before, but these poisonous words reached his blood and set it on fire.

"Why do you speak such things?!" he exclaimed. "You showed Reza mercy! You did what I could not and ended his pain. I know there's a side of you that feels some level of compassion. I've seen it! Why now are you unwilling to show your own chid enough compassion to be born?"

"Because Reza wasn't my child!" she cried out. "He had no trace of me in him! That was the only reason he looked at me like he would his mother! This child will have half of my blood."

She paused to struggle against his hold, even kicking his shins to no avail. "I'm the Mirage, goddamn it! Maternity is no state for me to be in! It's simply not right! I was never meant to bear anyone's child. A child with my blood is just another blight on the world, no matter where it goes! Nadir, you cannot possibly want that….at least not while sober."

"Yes, Erika, I do! I want this child," Nadir said, struggling to keep her still. "And have you not heard my words? I promise, you will not need to raise it. You'll have no sight of it. I will take it away and rear it in my home, and you may forget it was ever born. Your front as the Mirage will go undisturbed."

It was only when Erika stopped struggling that Nadir released her. She snarled at him briefly before turning her back to the confrontation. Although her organs were twisted, she poured herself a glass of leftover gin. She had started to raise it to her mouth when the drink was snatched away. Oh, of course.

Taking the glass was more an instinctive action than something done out of thought. Nadir was fighting to protect this babe and its mother alike. Erika was neither in a physical nor in a mental state to drink.

Erika watched him pour the drink out onto the stone flooring. "So…will you now be ever present on my shoulder? Making sure I don't do anything to harm this creature?"

"I will, Erika," the Persian replied without hesitation, setting the emptied glass on the counter. "Call it as you wish, but I do not want either of you to get hurt."

Erika took the bottle of gin and – a bit reluctantly – tossed it in the waste bin. It would be going to waste, regardless. She tapped her fingernails on the counter, deep in thought. "No one would ever know it was my child?" she asked, looking at him over her shoulder. "What would you say? That you found a Persian child on the steps of a church?"

"I will say nothing, and they shall not ask," Nadir replied, beyond relieved to see the alcohol thrown away. "They know too little about me. Some even fear me. Yet, if I do hear rumors of it being the child of the Mirage, I shall deny them."

A long, deep breath flowed from Erika's lungs. She leaned against the countertop, her head bowed. "I'll make a deal with you, Nadir, and I want you to listen closely. If I am going to go through every second of agony that awaits me for the sake of giving you progeny, you are going to do as I say, when I say it. Starting right now."

Nadir did not glance down. Did not flinch. Did not seem disappointed or attempted further argument. His goal was obtained in the most bloodless outcome he could have hoped for. Follow Erika's orders in exchange for his...their…child's life? It was the least he could do. Besides, was it not something he felt used to?

"Very well," Nadir said with a nod.

She straightened her spine and faced him with what little composure she had left. "And I issue this dire warning. If you break your part of this agreement," she frowned, "I have every right to break mine."

Nadir clenched his jaw, either in fear or anger – he did not know which. "I understand."

"Wonderful," she sighed. "Now, if you would be so kind as to get me a solvent for my stomach?"

"It would be my pleasure."

Nadir was given permission to access the hidden box of paper notes in Erika's writing desk, taking only as much of the money as he would need for the purchase. He felt her eyes on him as he made his way to the door. He turned and sure enough, she was glaring at him on the lounge from over a pillow held to her chest.

This time, he allowed himself to grin at her – his beloved monster, the future mother of his child. The cause of both his pain and his joy. "Thank you."

Erika pointed a sharp finger towards the door. "Don't thank me, yet."