Satoko mentions this in brief in the manga, but she's had several last names before her mother married the guy with the name of Hojo. Since Satoshi is much older, he'd probably remember and identify with those prior names a bit more than Hojo, since Satoko lists off three different prior fathers that she's had before age eight, which means their Hojo father can't have been around for more than a few years. Heck, I don't think we even technically know if Satoko and Satoshi are full siblings or half siblings. Also, of course, being a Hojo is a very negative thing in Hinamizawa, which is motive for Satoshi putting even more psychological distance between himself and that name.

June 13th, 2020

Satoshi's hands shook.

On the table in front of him, looking so innocuous, so mundane, was a paper envelope.

Inside that envelope was money.

Money he had earned, fairly and squarely, unlike all the dubious stuff he knew his uncle did. This money was pure, clean, untainted.

-filthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthyfilthy-

Satoshi came to himself again with a gasp, his hands shaking harder.

No. No, he wasn't going to think about that. It was over. It was done. He never had to think about her, that ever again. She was gone and dead and (he killed her) it was fine. Satoko was safe.

His fingers still shook as he wrapped them around the envelope and stuffed it in his shirt pocket.

Satoshi's grip on the handlebars of his bike was tighter than normal, and he could almost feel his heart thudding against his chest, like it did sometimes after a hard practice or when he was so very, very cold inside their unheated house. But everything was fine. Everything was okay. Nobody was looking at him strangely as he pedaled into Okinomiya. No one was looking at him at all if they could help it: he was a Hojo, after all.

This was fine. Everything was fine.

Satoshi's pedaling slowed to a stop, and he put a foot down to balance the bike as it stopped coasting.

There was a train station in Okinomiya. He could feel like this –free, unburdened– forever, if he wanted to. All he had to do was spend a little, little bit of that money on a train ticket. He was a young boy who'd been on a sports team: finding a job would not nearly be so difficult or dangerous as it would be for a girl of his age. He could just –run away from everything, from being a Hojo (it wasn't even his real last name!), from…from having Satoko.

She'd still be at home, and if he went back even with the bear, she'd be clinging to him, smothering him, fingers digging into him and prying him open as she curled herself into his body to use it like an armadillo would use its shell. She lurked inside the walls of their family home like a grub, something pale and squirming and unformed that wriggled inside the plaster to hide from thumping hands and feet.

Immediately, Satoshi felt sick with guilt, but at the same time, the whisper of freedom, of the lightness that would suddenly come over his whole body just like it did when Satoko got taken to the hospital, it called to him so, so temptingly.

No, he told himself over and over again. No. He wasn't going to betray Satoko like that. She…she'd get better. She'd definitely get better.

She wasn't going to be like this for the rest of her life. Please.

Its wrong to think, its so, so wrong, but at the same time he can't help it. Humans aren't designed to want things that hurt or hinder them, and Satoko is a burden. He doesn't want a burden, but that is his sister. His precious little sister, who only has him to trust in and love.

That is the squealing coward who shoves him forward to take the blows meant for herself.

Emotions flip and flop inside him, putting Satoshi in a daze as he mechanically wanders towards the shop with the bear. He's quit his job, this is the only money he'll have for a while. Its all he's got, and he's going to spend it on the bear. Right?

Right?

He wishes Mion were here. She's been acting strangely lately, but for some reason, he feels drawn to that strangeness. This Mion is cheerful, and smiling, and doesn't make him feel as though her friendship is because she feels obligated to repay him for what her family has done, somehow. It feels new, almost, and he wishes that that Mion was here, smiling and teasing him and flustering him over the bear he had forgotten to reserve.

It's the moment of truth. He's in the store, he has the money in one shaking hand, and there's the senile old man, bobbing his head aimlessly at the counter.

His heart is pounding. He can still leave, but the minute he hands the money over, his escape is over. His way out. His way to a better life.

But would it really be better, though? Or would he always live and regret what he had done for Satoko, who is so patiently, trustingly waiting for him at home?

His hand shakes when he holds the money out, and his voice shakes too.

"R-reserve for Satoshi Hojo."

The doddering old man checks the register, then grabs the money, and Satoshi's shoulders loosen as the bills slide from his hand. The feeling is unmistakable as the man totters over to pull the bear from the display and hand it to him.

Pure relief.

"Muu…" Satoshi blinks, looking up at the fuzzy stuffed bear that is nearly as large as he is. "I think I need to call Coach…"

This is too big for my bike…

12.00 PM, USA Central Time