ATTN: Surprise! This bonus chapter was brought to you by my desire to win a TwiFic Fandom Award! (lmao I am fully serious)
I have made it to round two of the voting, which opens tomorrow (March 7th, 2021) and I am nominated in three categories. Call of the Night was nominated for Best 'Out of this World Fic', and was also nominated for their 'Potential Best-Seller' award. Personally, I have been nominated in the Potential Best-Selling Author category. It's very exciting and all, so I figured that by posting this chapter—this, very specific, long-awaited, full-of-reveals chapter—it might be a good enough bribe to make y'all run over to TwiFicFandomAwards*blogspot*com and vote. Voting opens up tomorrow morning and runs for a week, closing on March 14th. You can vote once a day and it would be very, very cool to win an award that usually is reserved for EdBella fics from people who have been doing this since '08. The recognition would be amazing.
ALSO: this chapter is where the M rating starts to come into play. You've been warned.
Without further ado, here's your (most likely, final) bonus chapter. I dedicate this chapter to G (volturialice) specifically. Sorry I lied to your face back in that Target cafe when we first met.
Her Uber driver was halfway to the house when Alice realized that no one was home yet. She spent the remaining twenty-five minutes trying to decide whether it was a good thing or not.
At least now if she started crying when she got home, maybe she'd have time to pull herself together before Jasper came home from resetting.
But even with that thought Alice knew it was ridiculous. The instant anyone asked her why she was home early she was going to break down then and there.
Maybe she'd hide out in her room, or Jasper's. That way when he came home and came looking for her, he would be the one to find her. That way, he would see her breakdown instead of anyone else.
Pleased with that decision, Alice opened her phone, frowning as the notifications pinged one after the other. They were all through Instagram of course. Her niece had sent her a barrage of messages while Alice had been on her flight. Alice didn't bother checking them. She knew what they said. It would also do no good to look at the girl's messages without replying.
She'd do it later; after she had another good cry. Or three.
It was a bizarre thing, to be home alone. And it was as she was making her way up the stairs that Alice realized this was the very first time she'd ever been in the house alone.
It only made her feel sadder.
Loneliness had taken root in the pit of her chest and for a little while, Alice wanted to just sit and relish in it. After all, once Jasper got home she would want to pull back a bit for his benefit, and she also knew he'd be able to say something to cheer her up or at least make her feel a little bit better.
Not that she was a masochist, but it might feel nice to be able to lie in her own sadness for a minute. This was absolutely an experience she would need to mourn and cry over before she came to terms with what had become of her week with her sister. It was better to start now, all alone at home, then wait for Jasper to come home and for him to have to sit through these awful feelings with her.
Alice was lying face-down on the white couch in her room when a strange sensation began to bother her. Sitting up, she opened her eyes and lowered her feet to the floor, shaking her head. There was a pressure behind her eyes she'd never experienced before. Glancing toward the future the pressure turned to pain and Alice cried out, bracing her hands against the sides of her head.
What was that?
Never before had Alice ever felt pain in her head like this. She wondered if this is what Jasper felt when her emotion's stung him. Glancing toward the future again, the pain erupted behind her eyes.
It wasn't the worst pain in the world—after all, nothing could quite compare to how it felt to having your head unceremoniously shoved back onto your shoulders—but having never experienced this, Alice felt panicked.
Then, downstairs, the sound of someone letting themselves into the house reached her ears. Alice was on her feet instantly. Checking the future was something she did without thinking about it, but every time her mind reflexively reached out, the ache in her head pulsed.
Someone was in the house, and she couldn't see them.
Not only that, but she was in pain.
Forcing herself to focus, she was on the defensive immediately. There was a chance that whoever had broken in didn't know she was there; she could use this to her advantage.
On the other hand, there was a chance that this person both knew she was there, and knew she was alone.
It was a dangerous situation, but as Alice wordlessly moved out of her room, creeping down the hallway to her home, she reminded herself that she was a dangerous person. Visions or no visions.
Whoever it was was not being quiet. And when Alice heard a crinkling noise, it almost sounded like someone was digging through the trash. The sound of a plastic bag shifting was all she could hear from the kitchen.
Slowly, and carefully, Alice crept toward the kitchen in the left wing of the house. And as she swiftly turned the corner, her stance low and her hands ready, she stopped.
With her appearance, the intruder jumped, gasping sharply as they shuffled backward. "Oh!"
It was a girl. She didn't look any older than Alice, her long bronze hair falling in loose ringlets around her round face. In her hands was a shopping bag, from a local grocer. On the counter in front of her were a few fruits and vegetables, and over her shoulder was a purse.
"Oh shit."
Alice looked toward the future again and her head throbbed. Wincing, she took a step backward. "Who—what are you doing?"
The girl stared at her like a deer caught in headlights while Alice waited for a reply.
Then, from the garage, the sound of a car door slamming drew her attention away from the young vampire in front of her. As the heavy sound of a man's footsteps made it's way toward the door that connected the mudroom and the kitchen, another even, rhythmic sound reached her ears.
Her eyes flashed back toward the girl then.
Alice found herself staring at the girl's flushed cheeks as the sound of a heartbeat filled the room. It was a rapid pace, but it was undeniably a heartbeat, and it was coming from the vampire in front of her.
"Hey, did you grab the produce?" A familiar voice called as the door to the garage opened. "I thought I grabbed it from the bag boy but now I'm second-guessing—"
Jacob Black stood in the kitchen, looking at Alice as if she didn't belong.
And looking from him, to this strange girl, and back again, Alice couldn't help but feel as if she didn't.
"What the hell is going on?" She demanded, relieved to see a familiar face but still alarmed at the presence of this not-quite-vampire in front of her.
Jacob looked at the girl. "Your dad is going to murder us."
"Us?" The girl scoffed, and something in her voice sounded so startlingly familiar. "I didn't know anyone was here!"
"Neither did I!"
Alice couldn't think. She could only stare at the girl. Her bronze hair, her brown eyes, her full lips.
"Who are you?" She spoke again, her voice quieter this time as her brain struggled to solve the riddle that was set directly before her. Something told her the answer was well within her reach.
The girl shrugged over exaggeratedly, turning to Jacob. "Cats out of the bag now." Then, to Alice, "You might want to sit down for this. It's going to be a lot."
"Ness," Jacob's voice took a warning tone. "It's going to be your funeral," and then he shrugged and walked back toward the garage.
"Tell Mom I want to be buried next to Grandpa," she called after him. Then, she turned toward Alice and approached her, a sheepish expression on her face. "I'm actually really happy to finally meet you. I've wanted to for a year now, but Dad is," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "I'm sure you know how he gets." Holding out her hand, Alice took it absentmindedly. It was shockingly warm. Not as warm as normal human hands were, but warm enough to make Alice focus on only that.
"I'm Ness. Edward and Bella are my parents."
Alice stared blankly, not realizing that she'd yet to release the girls hand until Ness started trying to extract it from the smaller girl's grip. "What?"
"Yup. You heard that right." She ran a hand through her hair and Alice was struck by just how long her golden curls were. "Biological and everything."
"But—" Alice couldn't fathom this. It had to be fake. Jacob walked back into the kitchen and Alice turned her attention on him. "That's impossible," she insisted, waiting for him to confirm what she already knew. "Vampires can't reproduce."
"But humans can."
"But vampires can't."
"But vampires and humans can," Ness spoke, matter-of-fact as she gestured to her entire self. "In very rare cases, at least. I'm living proof. Emphasis on living," she knocked on her chest, right above where her rapidly beating heart lay. "I mean, look at me. You can't look at this face and tell me you don't see my parents."
"You do look disturbingly like your father." Jacob snorted.
As they chatted, banter flowing between them, Alice's mind was racing a million miles a minute. Even if what they said was true, and this strange girl was really Edward and Bella's daughter, that only left Alice with a thousand more questions. The main one still being how?
Bella had been human when Carlisle and Edward had found her. Then, about a year later she'd been changed. That only meant that within that year, somehow, Bella had fallen pregnant. Then five years later, she'd taken her oath, and then a year after that, the War of '64.
There was no way they'd had a child durning all of that… it would have been front page news for years.
But it hadn't been, which meant that whatever it was that Ness was wasn't a common, or even a known thing. Alice was sure there were still a variety of things she didn't know about her world, even a year after taking her oath, she was sure she would have noticed people like… like this.
"How—why didn't they tell me?" She was confused, but she was also left feeling hurt. Edward and Bella were her two best friends. The fact that they would keep something like this from her stung so horribly.
"I'm an abomination," Ness supplied cheerfully, walking back into the kitchen as she emptied the grocery bag onto the counter. "Plain and simple."
"Relationships between humans and vampires are illegal for a few reasons," Jacob spoke up, grabbing an apple from the counter and taking a bite. "One, y'all are too bitey for your own good. They usually end in a bloody-ass death. That's why people are so surprised you lived with a human as your sole companion for so long."
Alice grimaced. "Why would a human and vampire ever try to," she lowered her voice, "do anything anyways?"
"Human horniness knows no bounds," Jacob deadpanned, mouth full. "Bella was going to seduce Edward or die trying."
"And she nearly did, bringing me into the world." Ness grabbed a runaway orange before it could fall to the ground. "That's another reason those relationship aren't allowed; there's a one-hundred-percent mortality rate for women who fall pregnant with hybrids."
"And Bella was the exception?"
"If it weren't for Doc, she'd be dead." Jacob spoke, his tone finally a bit more serious. "The only reason she's still alive is because of him, and because of your guys' status."
"Lots of rules were bent and broken to bring me into the world alive."
The front door opened, bringing Alice's attention away from the hybrid for a moment. When Jasper walked into the kitchen, glancing at the trio that awaited him, he made a face. Turning to Jacob, he winced. "Edward is going to murder you."
Jacob rolled his eyes, mouth so full of fruit he could barely talk. "I'm aware." He mumbled between chews.
"Why are you in trouble?" Alice demanded from Jacob just before she turned toward Jasper, "You knew about this?"
Jasper walked up to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Leaning forward he planted a kiss to the top of her head. "You're home early," he muttered quietly, rubbing her arm firmly.
"Answer the question," she growled, her confusion giving way to her frustration.
"I wouldn't know if it weren't for this one," Jasper motioned toward Ness. "Good to see you again, by the way."
"I told Aunt Rosie that I wanted to visit you months ago," Ness complained to him, glaring. But the glare was quick to fall as she approached him, arms outstretched. Jasper stunned Alice by stepping forward and embracing the strange girl. "I'm happy to see you're okay." The girl muttered, hugging Jasper tightly around the middle.
Jasper smiled, squeezing the girl, "Thanks, kid."
Alice couldn't take it anymore. "I'm sorry, but what the hell!"
Jasper fought a grin as he turned back toward Alice. "When this one was still young she—what would you call it?—" he asked Jacob, "ran away from home? Put everyone's ass on the line? Risked causing a national outrage?"
Jacob nodding, agreeing with the wording, adding on. "Nearly gave her poor grandfather a heart attack."
"I am still young," Ness chimed in, frowning, only to be ignored by the two men.
"She showed up in the middle of the night, demanding to meet me," Jasper rolled his eyes. "Edward was furious."
"Dad needs to realize he can't stop me from meeting you guys. This wasn't on purpose, by the way," she confessed, turning toward Alice. "I did really want to meet you, but last time I went against their wishes," she nodded toward Jasper, "I was in so much trouble."
"You were what? Eight at the time?" Jacob leaned forward on the counter, amused by the conversation.
"Physically," she shrugged. "I knew what I was doing."
"Just without considering the consequences," Jasper nodded. "Very much your father's daughter."
Stepping closer to Alice, Ness raised a hand, "Do you mind if I show you. It's easier this way."
Alice stared at the girl's raised hand, glancing toward Jasper with suspicion. He nodded, moving to her side and reaching down, grabbing her hand in his. "It's okay."
"This might be a bit strange," Ness reached out for Alice's face, "but this will help you understand."
A scene unfolded inside of Alice's mind, golden and glowing at the edges. A memory, she recognized instantly, but not her own.
They were glimpses, flickers really. A orange backpack filled full of clothes and snacks. A stolen pile of money. Lying her way onto a plane and taking off on foot from the airport, wandering around the Pennsylvania woods for seven hours before she stumbled upon the expansive, white mansion.
Esme answering the door, a look of shock and horror on her face. Jasper was not far behind her. In the memory, Alice took in his appearance. He looked downright scary in this childhood memory, his expression severe. Whether it was Ness' own interpretation that made his scars look more prominent, Alice couldn't be sure.
Edward and Rosalie swept in after that, a flurry of shock and anger and frustration. Behind all the commotion, Jasper cornered Carlisle, demanding to know what the fuck was going on.
Alice blinked herself back into the present. "You thought she was an immortal child."
"A vampire child shows up in the middle of the night, calling Esme 'Aunt Esme' and asking where her parents were. Of course I did." Jasper squeezed her shoulders, and Alice could feel his relief roll onto her. He must've been afraid she would react adversely to Ness' ability.
"That was incredible," she breathed, looking up at the girl. "Is it just memories?"
Ness smiled, shaking her head. "I can communicate anything I'm thinking, just with a touch." She wiggled her fingers before tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "That was back in," she thought to herself, "what was it? '74?"
Alice did the math in her head. "But you said you were eight." If the girl was born in '58, suddenly their story didn't add up.
"Oh, I age funny. Slowly usually, but there will be periods of time where I progress like a normal human, growth-wise. I grew three inches back in 1982 and we thought I was finally aging like normal. Nope, just puberty. I haven't aged or grown since the mid-nineties."
"Where do you live?" Alice's eyes went from Ness to Jacob's form. "Why is she with you?"
"Uncle Jake helped raise me. Grandpa got sick when I was still little, and it was in my best interest to stay in Washington. The town was small enough that I could escape notice, and after the stunt I pulled coming here, they moved me onto the reservation to live full-time."
All at once, everyone's head shot toward the front of the house. Someone else was pulling up the driveway.
Jasper whistled. "Good luck talking your way out of this one."
"I'm already doing damage control, mentally." Jacob grimaced, taking a swig from a half-empty Starbucks cup.
"Pleading for mercy?"
He laughed, "Something like that."
Alice saw Edward first. He didn't seem shocked at her appearance, but he didn't appear to take note of her presence at all. Instead, he walked up to his supposed daughter and looked down at her, unamused.
"Hi Daddy," she smiled happily, lifting a hand and pressing it against his face. There was silence for a full minute. Alice looked at Jasper nervously. She still couldn't access her visions. Not that she was afraid of what Edward might do or say, but knowing now of all times could only benefit the rest of them. Finally, Edward sighed, nodding once. "Thanks!" The girl withdrew her hand and threw her arms around Edward's unmoving shoulders, pressing a kiss to his check. "You're the best."
Turning toward the front door, Ness skipped away. Alice couldn't see Bella, but she heard the exchange that took place.
"Mom! Dad says I can stay here for the rest of the trip since I spilled the beans."
"That was shockingly painless," Bella remarked. Alice guessed Bella had been waiting to walk into a scene. "Nice. Where are you off to now?"
"I want to get all of my stuff from the airBnb! Uncle Jake!" She called back toward them, "Come on!"
Jacob shot Edward a sheepish grin as he walked out of the kitchen. "In our defense, she came home early," he pointed at Alice as he walked toward the front of the house, and out of sight.
Bella entered the room just as the front door slammed shut and walked right up to Alice. Sighing, she frowned. "How mad are you on a scale from one to ten?" Alice didn't reply right away. She was still so stunned by everything that had transpired over the past ten minutes. "You can answer for her, too." Bella said to Jasper.
"I don't think mad is the right word."
Alice finally looked up to her friend, then, she let her gaze shift to Edward. "You two have a kid."
"Yeah," Bella, snorted. "Weird, right?"
"What—how?! Well, no. I know how. But," she turned her attention onto Edward and found herself pointing an accusatory finger at him. "Why the hell would you ever have sex with a human, you psycho!"
Edward was taken aback by the sudden direction of her ire. "Don't point that finger at me. It was her idea."
"It absolutely was," Bella nodded, not even trying to avert the blame. "I jumped him every chance I got."
"But I thought you two had hated each other at first!"
"No, he hated me."
"I didn't hate you."
Bella continued as if he hadn't spoken. "I thought he was a little bit of an acquired taste, but," Jasper snorted at Bella's wording and Edward shot him a wry look, "I was smitten. We were barely two weeks into our little speaking tour when I jumped him for the first time."
Alice shifted uncomfortably. "How did you not rip her throat out? For lack of a better term."
"It wasn't without difficulty," Edward muttered, walking up behind Bella and wrapping his arms around her waist.
Then, the hurt returned, full force. "Why didn't you tell me?" She demanded, embarrassment building up in her chest and making her feel silly.
"We don't talk about her for a reason. Her existence is illegal." Bella frowned, leaning back into Edward's embrace. "The only people who know about her are on a need-to-know basis."
"And I don't need to know?" Alice knew she shouldn't take it personally, but she couldn't help it. Her two closest friends had kept something from her. And not just a little something, but the existence of a child of their own creation. Their own family.
"In their defense," Jasper chimed in, "I wasn't on the need-to-know list, either."
"I'm sorry," Alice shook her head. "I'm just so shocked."
"You can't see her," Edward observed, frowning toward Alice as her mind raced.
She shook her head. "No, and when I try it hurts." Lifting a hand she absentmindedly started rubbing her temple. Now that Ness and Jacob were a couple of miles from the house, her sight had returned to her, but the memory of the pain was still ever-present. "I've never felt anything like that before."
Subtly, she felt Jasper's soothing influence smooth over her confusion and worry. She turned, smiling up at him, thankful at the gesture.
"What happened?" She demanded to know. "I'm still so, so confused."
"I wasn't really changed in 1958. But that's when we found out I was pregnant. I was six months along at that point."
That sounded unbelievable. "You weren't showing?"
Bella shook her head. "The fetus developed slowly. And not just that, but due to her vampire DNA, after she started to really grow, my organs began to petrify one by one. We didn't know what was happening; we thought I was sick with some type of cancer. It wasn't until Edward started hearing something weird."
"Fetuses and young babies don't exactly have thoughts," Edward explained, "but even in brain-dead individuals, there's this type of humming buzz I can detect if I focus hard enough."
"We were in San Diego, wrapping up out last leg of the tour when we cut things short. Things were a little mad after that."
"There's a small center, I mean, very small, up north in Alaska by Denali. It isn't far from where the council and the libraries are."
"Since my circumstances were already strange enough, it worked in our benefit to be able to pick and choose where my 'change' and subsequent self-control training would take place."
"Tanya and the other council members helped us. They almost didn't—after all, there's no record of hybrid children surviving so we couldn't exactly know what we were in for if Bella could carry to term—so there was a chance that Renesmee would be born and end up an unchanging being."
Alice knitted her eyebrows together at that. "Renesmee?"
"Don't look at me," Edward looked down at his wife. "That was her own creation."
"An ode to Renee—my human mother—and Esme."
"That's… sweet." Jasper snorted at her side and Bella fixed him with an unamused look.
"Anyways," Bella brought the conversation back to the story, "There was a very real possibility I'd be giving birth to an immortal child. We had to prepare for that." Her expression was grave. It was apparent what they meant: they could have very well had to dispose of the girl after her birth.
It was almost unthinkable.
"You never once thought to," Alice tried to phrase her words delicately, "end the pregnancy?"
"We did. But my health did such a complete 180 that before we could consider it they were struggling to find ways to keep me alive. By the time I was hooked up to machines and on what I call 'bedrest' they weren't even sure I would survive an abortion."
"But she's alive. You both survived."
"I was pregnant for an agonizing eleven months," Bella groaned with a sense of humor that Alice was sure only sixty years of time passed could produce. "They delivered her by cesarean and I was changed immediately after. They were racing to piece me back together and stitch me up before the venom started spreading."
"What's remarkable is that her change only took a day and a half," Edward chimed in. "It appeared that with the vampire DNA already in her system, she was already changing from the inside out."
"How come people die then, if the change is happening before the baby is born?"
"Most people don't make it as far into their pregnancies as Bella does."
"I was on life support from month nine onward. I don't remember anything between April and June of '59. When I woke up, I was a vampire, and I was a mother."
Alice was stunned. "If it's possible to survive, why are they illegal?" Ness had said that human and vampire pregnancies had a one-hundred percent mortality rate. But there she was, alive and well. Emphasis on the alive.
"By all accounts I should be dead," Bella acknowledged. "That part is very much true. My case is both an anomaly and a miracle. Sure, Carlisle had a lot to do with my survival, but there are so many things he couldn't help with."
"Human and vampire relationships were banned in the twenties after a high-profile case." Edward's jaw clenched as he spoke. Alice could feel Jasper stiffen beside her, feeling Edward's emotions in real time. "A man was going around raping human women. Two of the ones who he didn't kill suffered agonizing deaths due to the their pregnancies."
"It's where the term 'parasite' comes from," Bella explained, "It's in reference to male vampires."
Suddenly, more of the ugly insults Tim was hurling at her just that morning made much more sense.
Edward stopped speaking, staring at her seriously, witnessing her memory of the morning flicker through her consciousness. Not now, she pleaded. She didn't want to relive her morning yet, and the rest of her Protectors would find out soon enough.
The more time spent without her being the focus of conversation, the better.
Edward hesitated, but relented swiftly, returning back to the topic at hand. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you. But again: Renesmee's existence is still a closely-guarded secret."
"How come people don't know? Can't they tell that she isn't fully human? Or that she isn't fully a vampire?" It had taken Alice only seconds to realize that the vampire she'd found in her kitchen wasn't entirely a vampire at all.
"That's why she still lives in Washington, on the reservation with the wolves. They understand very well what it's like to have your existence still be a secret. Thankfully, since vampires already give wolves a wide berth, they avoid Ness, too. Vampires usually think she's a human upon first glance, and human's usually recognize her as a vampire." Bella removed Edward's arms from her and stepped toward Alice. When the girl reached out Alice went quickly into her arms. "I'm sorry, too. It was never anything personal, keeping her a secret. But I'd do anything to keep her safe."
"I understand," and now, Alice meant it. Every conversation she'd ever had with Bella about family suddenly took on a new light, and her conversation from the week prior echoed through her mind.
Alice had pleaded to Bella on the phone. "Even if there's consequences—or if I'm made a fool of—I need to do this. If there's a chance I can have someone living, breathing, and from my human life, in my own immortal life, I have to jump on this now." Then, a lull in conversation, followed by, "Tell me you wouldn't do the same."
And Edward's words, days later. "Bella knows more than anyone else what it feels like to have your entire world turned completely around in a small amount of time."
The truth had been right there under the surface the entire time.
"We didn't think you'd be home this early," Bella commented, pulling back from the embrace and glancing down at her through narrowed eyes. "We thought we had at least until tomorrow."
Alice's stomach sank. "Change of plans," she squeaked out, not wishing to talk about it just yet.
"You can fill us in later," Edward commented, following closely with how Alice was barely clinging to her composure. Walking up behind Bella he tugged her arm. "We need to get the guest rooms set up for Renesmee and Jacob now."
"Ah, right. I forgot we'll have a full house now. It'll be the first time in years they've stayed here." Bella smiled at Alice. "I hope you're alright," she smiled sadly, and Alice cursed her own expressive face. Was it that obvious that her trip had ended on a sour note?
After Bella and Edward left them in the room, Jasper moved into her line of sight. "Let's go upstairs," he grabbed her hand tightly in his, using his ability to smooth over her emotions as he pulled her after him. Alice knew that he knew just how close she was to having her composure crumble entirely.
He was too good to her, she mused as he closed the door to her room behind them and immediately swept her off her feet, pulling her into his arms. And when she could feel his ability begin to fade, her dread planted itself back into her chest.
"Fill me in," he spoke softly against her hair, pressing kisses to the side of her head as he carried her across the room. "What happened?"
The tears she'd been holding in all afternoon released themselves then, and Alice was sobbing in earnest. For several minutes, they remained like that, wrapped up in each other on the couch, Jasper's arms holding her closely as he whispered calm assurances to her.
When she could finally speak, she let out a haggard breath. "It all went horribly so fast." She recalled the morning then, not leaving a single detail out. She recalled Tim's shaking hands and the way the spit flew from his mouth as he screamed at her. She recalled the way Cynthia's red, swollen face kept producing tears even through the rain. She recalled every insult and term her brother-in-law flung at her, and the way he'd contemplated striking her before deciding his words were the best weapon to use.
He'd been right, of course.
Jasper let out a disgusted noise, his arms tight around her. "I'm sorry, Alice."
"I don't understand," she exhaled a shuddering breath. "I didn't do anything wrong."
"It's not you. It's his hatred toward vampires. It could've been you, or me, or even Esme. I'm positive his reaction would be the same no matter what." He pulled her closer and Alice burrowed against him, pressing her nose against the space between his collar bone and neck. "It's bad enough for a stranger to react like that to you, but the fact that it was Cynthia's husband," he trailed off, sighing. "I'm sorry."
"I can't find a way to fix it," she mumbled against him, miserably. "No matter what choice I make, or what I do or say to any of them now. I can't see any future now in which they're in my life." Speaking it out loud made it seem more real, and Alice was whimpering again. "I have to fix it."
"Alice," he sighed, and Alice watched as he deliberated what to say next, "maybe—"
"No," she cut him off with a sob, shaking her head. "I can't give up on this. I refuse to. Not when I've finally found them, not now."
"Give it time then," he muttered softly, running his hand soothingly over her back, "you can't force yourself into their lives."
"But she reached out to me! She wants me in her life. In her family's lives. I know that. But her husband, he…" Alice swallowed, trying to force her tears down. "He hates us. Our kind. He's not going to let them."
"Where was he the whole time?"
"A work trip. Or that's what she said." Now that things had gone so terribly so quickly, Alice didn't know what to believe. She wanted to believe Cynthia, but Alice was left so hurt over everything, she didn't know what to think.
"I think your best bet is to wait it out. Give them time. Maybe she'll get through to him. But if she doesn't—"
"No."
"Alice—"
"I can't! I can't just let them go now," she pulled herself out of his embrace so he could see her face, and see how utterly serious she was. "I can't and I won't."
"I don't want you to be hurt any further by this. You've already been hurt enough; I feel how this is tearing you up." He leaned forward, capturing her lips in a kiss. "I'm not saying to abandon them. Send them a message, if it makes you feel better. Write them a letter, even. But it's in your best interest to step back. If they can sort this through, they'll do it themselves. It's out of your hands. I know you were hoping for the best, but no one will hold it against you if you decide to brace yourself for the worst."
"I… I—" her voice cracked and her face crumbled. "I wish they wanted me."
Jasper's distraught face sighed as he pulled her against him once more. "I know. I know."
Minutes later, after Alice finally calmed down again, she found herself absentmindedly twirling Jasper's hair between her fingers "Jazz?" She lifted her head as he opened his eyes, turning down to glance at her. "Did you ever track your family down?"
"In the 80s, yes."
"Will you tell me about it?"
He inhaled slowly. "There isn't much to tell. I had a younger sister; I'd forgotten her name over the years so it took quite a bit of digging to find her and see what had happened with her. Her name was Celia. She'd married a few years after I fell off the grid. Had a handful of children; six, to be exact. Then their children had children and so on and so forth. I have great grand-nieces and nephews all over the place." He paused. "No where near as many as Emmett does, but plenty."
"So there's a whole bunch of Whitlock's out there?"
"Not quite," he commented, "I was the only boy on my father's side of the family, so the Whitlock name died with me. My sister's married name was Beckham. And she'd had mainly girls, so even then, there are so many names to keep track of that when I started looking I had to keep a physical list. It's still in the library if you ever want to look at it. I went pretty in depth." He sat himself up a little straighter, and Alice adjusted her position accordingly, moving so that she was sitting in between his legs, instead of on his lap. "I haven't updated it since '85, so I'm sure the list has grown."
"I'd love to see it," Alice smiled, "Have you ever reached out to any of them?"
"No," he shook his head, as if the idea had never been one he'd entertained. "I did have a couple of kids reach out to me a few years ago. A brother and sister. If I have this right, they're my great-great-great-great-great-great niece and nephew. Tracked me down through one of those popular ancestry-finder websites."
"What did they want?"
He made a face. "To talk, maybe? I'm not sure. I never got back to them."
That revelation made her sad. "Why not?"
"I got their message during that summer where people were fighting over whether or not to take all of those Confederate statues down." He grimaced as he spoke, running a hand through his hair. "I had to deal with a lot of annoying press that year. A lot of publicly denouncing my past and condemning white supremacists. I figured that for a pair of mixed high school students from Atlanta, it was in their best interest that I not reply. I didn't want them to be labeled as Nazi sympathizers or," he waved a hand, "whatever else they were calling me."
Alice stared blankly. She knew he could sense her potent confusion. "I'm missing something here."
Jasper sighed deeply. "How much do you know about American history?"
"The minimum."
"You know about slavery, right?"
"Of course I do. Josie's grandfather was a slave. She used to have the most awful stories that he'd shared with her when she was a girl."
"I'm aware. She's filled me in."
Alice eyed him with suspicion. "What does that have to do with you?"
"I fought in the Civil War as a human. For the Confederacy." Alice stared, she knew that. "Against the abolition of slavery."
"Oh," Alice spoke, the realization dawning upon her slowly. "Oh!" Sitting up straighter, she fixed him with an incredulous look. "Jasper! No!"
He groaned, "I knew I should've explained this better last spring." Letting his head flop back onto the couch, he looked down at her, wincing. "I've been renouncing it since I took my oath. It seems that every few years something else happens and I have to reword the same speech over again to fit with the times."
"Does Josie know?" Alice could only imagine that her adoptive mother—the proudest Black woman Alice had ever met—would rightfully be hundreds of times more skeptical of Alice's choice in partners if she knew.
"Of course she does," Jasper snorted. "That's why she says I'm paying reparations every time she makes me buy her something."
Alice couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of her at that. She placed a hand over her mouth as she snorted. God, she loved that woman.
"I'm shocked she totes you around the way she does." Alice mused, picking up his hand and playing with his fingers. "I could see her parading around with a scarred-up ex- vampire war criminal, but with a racist who fought against abolition?" Alice made a face. "That's a whole different ball game."
He shook his head. "Definitely should've talked to you about this earlier." He stared at her for a few seconds, studying her. "You're not going to ask me anything else?"
Alice rolled her eyes. "I know you're different now, give me some credit. I'm not going to make you give one of your memorized 'I'm not racist' speeches, so relax." She hummed. "Maybe those kids looked you up because they thought it was cool to be related to a Protector. Will you ever get in touch with them, you think?"
"Possibly." Jasper shifted under her. "I will admit, I have been pulling some strings here and there." He looked her up and down. "We have a lot of charities we run here. I always contributed but never founded one of my own. Not until those kids tried getting in touch with me. Nothing attached to my name—I don't want credit or recognition or anything of the sort—but it gives scholarships to at-risk youth on a lottery basis." He avoided her eyes then. "I may have rigged it in their favor. They have full rides to an in-state public university of their choice."
"Wow," Alice was impressed.
"They do qualify," he quickly defended. "Any kid attending public school and living under the poverty line does. I just," he made a gesture, "pulled a string or two."
"Thats awfully generous of you, Jazz," Alice smiled warmly up at him, reaching forward and turning his face toward her. "But you know, I'm sure if you got in touch with all of these relatives of yours, and set up college funds for them directly, they'd really appreciate it. And it would put you in touch with family!"
"I don't need that, though." He insisted quickly. "Yes I'm their ancestor, but just because we share some traits or I have some of the same DNA as them, doesn't quite make us family. We use the term so freely nowadays," he reached out and cupped her cheek, mirroring her hold on him, "I think people need to reexamine what that really means."
"And by people you mean me." Alice frowned. She didn't exactly like how he'd somehow turned the conversation back onto her, circling back to the topic that had gotten them there, but she had to hand it to him; it was a brilliant redirection. "You're too good at this," she accused, frowning at him as she leaned upward, kissing him softly. "I don't like it."
He smiled against her lips. "You love it," he teased.
Alice kissed him again, harder this time, and when Jasper moaned into her mouth she pulled back, laughing. Then, she flopped herself backwards onto the couch. "Has it been a month yet?" She whined, closing her eyes and trying to push back her quickly growing want.
Jasper leaned over her and kissed her again anyways, "Almost," he whispered, capturing her lips in a deep kiss, and when he pressed his body against hers, Alice gasped. She wasn't entirely sure what he was getting at here, but she wasn't about to stop him. "I've been thinking," he whispered between kisses, "that maybe," he wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her against him, and with his other, he reached down, "I can still do this." And when he pressed his hand against her, Alice sucked in a harsh breath, throwing her neck back as she arched her back.
"Yeah?" She forced the word out as she attempted to grind her hips against his hand. The pressure was firm, but it was nowhere near enough. She wanted more. "Is that so?"
He hummed against her neck, licking and sucking at the skin, causing Alice to moan. "Just because we can't have sex yet," his fidgeted with the button of her pants, unfastening it and making quick work of the zipper, "doesn't mean I can't still make you feel good."
And when he slowly slid his hand down, pressing beneath her underwear until his fingers were brushing against her opening, Alice cried out.
This was as much as they'd done the first night they'd attempted things, back when they'd returned to Ricketts. Of course, that had ended abruptly and embarrassingly, and with both of them wholly upset and unsatisfied.
Now, as he moved his fingers against her lips, Alice thought she was going to burst right there. "Jazz," she gasped, eyes flying open as he lightly pressed a fingertip against her entrance.
"Stop me if it hurts," he whispered, staring down at her with heavy eyelids.
Alice's mouth was stuck in an 'o' shape, and as he pressed inside of her she arched her back again, her toes curling and her fingers digging into Jasper's shoulder blades. In the back of her awareness, she could feel the back of his shirt tear like tissue underneath her grip, but she couldn't bring herself to care. "Jazz." Her voice was hardly a whine now, all exhale.
He pulled his finger back and rubbed circles around the nub beneath her thick patch of hair. "That's right," he murmured, kissing along her jawline as she writhed beneath him, "let it out."
And then, he did something she couldn't explain.
He was still touching her like before, but suddenly, the room felt a little warmer, and her clothes felt tighter, and when he moved his finger back down to gently press inside, it felt far more overwhelming. Suddenly, Alice didn't know how she was going to be able to simply lie there while he played with her.
"Oh," her eyes flickered back open, immediately aware of the change in atmosphere, "Oh, Jasper."
"I've got you," he whispered, and as his hand began to move in rhythmic circles, Alice could feel a chord within her beginning to tighten. "I've got you."
Alice was desperate then, pulling him close to her, attempting to use as much strength as she could muster. She could hear Jasper chuckle above her, "Relax," he instructed, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss, "and let me make you feel good."
She was shaking her head before he was done. "Jasper, so help me god." It was good. It was so, so good, but Alice wanted more. No—she needed more. Moving her own hand to his front, she unceremoniously thrusted her hand beneath his waistband, and when she wrapped her fingers around him, his breathing stuttered to a halt.
"Alice," he exhaled, and Alice could hear the warning beneath her name. "Careful."
"I," she gasped again as he pressed the same finger into her, only deeper this time, "can make you feel good, too."
"Yes, but—" Alice tightened her grip on them and pumped him once, and then twice. All of Jasper's protests stuttered to an abrupt halt. "Fuck."
Kissing her again, Alice felt invigorated by his response, continuing to tug at him at the same speed that he was rubbing circles on her.
It was as she started to feel her body tighten further, that the pain behind her eyes returned, full-force. Not expecting the pain, she cried out.
Jasper was off of her and off of the couch in the next instant. "Alice," he gasped, one hand gripping the back of his neck while the other one adjusted himself, so that he was properly back inside of his pants. "Did I hurt you?"
"No," and suddenly Alice was close to tears. And it wasn't just because she could no longer see the delicious outcome to their impromptu make out session. She couldn't see anything now. "My head," she explained, whimpering for a whole separate reason now. "Ness and Jacob must be back."
Jasper let out a relieved breath as he moved back onto the couch with her. "Thank god." Alice watched as the relief flooded through him and he deflated.
"You didn't hurt me," she spoke, turning toward him as he lay back down beside her. "That felt incredible," she shuffled closer to him again, tilting her head upward to capture his lips in another kiss, but by the time the kiss deepened again, her head was back to throbbing. "Damnit."
"Hey," and quickly, Jasper had re-zipped and buttoned her pants, and he was pulling her against him, one hand wrapping around the back of her head. He began to rub soothing circles against her scalp. "Better?"
Alice grimaced, reaching back and moving his hand until his fingertips were resting against her temples. "It hurts there."
Jasper hummed, and then he was cradling her against his chest, his hand rubbing circles against a different part of her now. Only now it was to soothe pain, instead of create pleasure.
Very, very faintly, she could hear the tell-tale hum of the garage doors lifting. "We should've done that the second we got to the room," she grumbled, disappointment growing thick.
Jasper chuckled, and Alice could hear the sound from deep in his chest. "I don't think I should be curing your emotional distress with an orgasm."
"I don't think we should knock it until we've tried it," she mumbled against him, extending an arm across his torso. "Who knows? Maybe that's all I need." When she felt his ability wash over her, she exhaled slowly. "Thank you."
"I'll give you all the orgasms you want once this month is up," he promised. "This was probably a little irresponsible," he admitted, and Alice somehow just knew that he was mentally berating himself currently.
"No offense, but I don't care. It felt great." Then, she thought to herself for a moment. "You were using your ability," she observed in awe. "I didn't… I mean, I never thought that would work the way it did."
Alice felt his lips twitch and knew that he was smiling. "You liked that, huh?"
"Promise me you'll do whatever the hell it is you just did the first time we have sex."
"You have my word." Alice could hear the grin in his voice and snuggled closer.
Sure, she could wait a couple more weeks. It didn't mean she wanted to, or that she wouldn't be attempting whatever had almost just transpired here again. But now that she'd gotten a taste of what her patience would be rewarded with, she felt like a new woman.
A/N: heheheh
catch y'all again at the start of Aries season ;)
REVIEW REPLIES:
ohsugarhoney: poor, poor Alice... our girl can't catch a break!
ZileRacer: unfortunately, he is hardly the only one to feel that way toward vampires in general (especially Protectors)
And people definitely looked at Edgar Brandon and thought 'wow, what a sad, unfortunate life' :( ah, if only they knew...
Guest: Tim's opinions are certainly on the extreme end, but that doesn't mean he isn't the only one feeling like this...