Chapter 6: When The Party's Over.
They were all here.
"Look, Sasuke, all of Rookie Nine is here, we call us Konoha 11,well Konoha 12 now that you are here! Hm, Sai will join us too, So, Konoha 13 probably, hehe" Naruto said and laughed . "Ino, Hinata, Tenten,Neji, Shikamaru, Choji , Shino, Kiba, even Akamaru. " He said,as they all entered.
It was time for the great depression that Sasuke was about to face.
The reality of his situation had not hit him yet. For the past one week that he had been in Konoha and everything that had happened was compartmentalize in a small corner in his mind. Sasuke had not reacted because he didn't feel anything to react to. Most of this was a fever dream, a reality that was not real.
Sasuke was in a glass bubble.And that glass bubble had just shattered.
He stood and watched people- ex classmates turned random strangers- pour into his house.
A weird feeling ran down his spine, his blood felt foreign in his veins. He heard his heart beat, loud and clear. His skin felt hot and cold, an itch, a sizzling. His whole body, mind, and soul was on fire.
Those familiar faces reminded him of his actual circumstances, the thing he had chosen to ignore till now.He was in Konoha and this wasn't a dream. It was as real his own breath. And that he was trapped.
Orochimaru was no longer there. It wasn't some detour from his path of revenge. He wasn't here willingly. Sasuke could not stay blind to it anymore. So, this out of body experience that he was having was his wake up call. It was time he opened his eyes and see. Stare and realize. Do what he was subconsciously telling himself from so long.
Fight.
Sasuke was breaking apart. His panic rising. Heart beating wildly. Then, Naruto was there, at his side.
"Hey, Sasuke! " Naruto said with his face stretched wide in an impossible grin. "We have got everyone here, look! " And Sasuke was looking, he was looking enough that he wanted to look no more.
Close my eyes, let me die.
Sasuke closed his eyes.
Breathing would not do anything, so he held his breath. He opened his eyes when he felt Sakura near him. She smiled at him. He stared blankly. He looked at the people in front of him. His living room had become a weekends' night club.
The only reason he referred to this place as his, my, mine, was to "respect" them : Sakura and her 'Captain Yamato's effort';
This feels like such a waste.
Sasuke is tired, sick and just wants to roll over and di- sleep. But that doesn't matter. He has never mattered.
So, he stands silently there while his 'well wishers' and 'friends' live happy lives around him, laughing at him, basking in their own moral superiority. Sasuke wants to cut those smiles into pieces. Literally.
He moves away. Goes into the kitchen, which apparently was a bad idea because the whole group follows him. Sits there like they own that place, which might just be true.
They look more at home than Sasuke has ever felt since arriving.
Safe to say, Konoha is no longer home to him. Sasuke is a lost wanderer. He can't go home because there is no home left to go.
He sneers, is about to say something because he can't control it anymore. Any longer and he will go insane.
Sasuke wanted nothing to do with Konoha. He left it behind to achieve his goals but they had to thrust themselves back into his life - and ruin everything.
Who gave them this right? This whole situation? Sasuke wanted to scream. It was becoming hard, harder for him to maintain what little principle he had left.
He never considered himself a murderer. Never took innocent lives but tonight he felt thirsty for violence and bloodshed.
They forced them into his life, came between his goals and there they stood - happy and smiling. Pretending that it was all okay, good even. Because Sasuke is a deserter, that means he is the worst person in that room, so his wants and emotions don't matter.
Isn't that what it was all about? That was why they couldn't see that he doesn't want them.
He had no animosity with Konoha but just now he had made one. Along with that - that murderer, Konoha too was his enemy. He will kill them all.
But before he could speak, the front door opens and in walks Kakashi and following him Sai and Yamato, and other jounin ninjas in uniforms.
Kakashi walts inside like he owns that place. His posture lazy and relaxed. For a second, Sasuke envy Kakashi. The next second, he wants to set him on fire.
" Kaka-sensei" Naruto fills the silence.
" Late as usual " This is spoken by Sakura, who smiles at Kakashi and moves forward to stand beside him. Sai on her other side, " Now that we all are here, let's get started! " She hollers lifting a bottle of sake she was holding that Sasuke had somehow missed.
That bottle was half empty. Clearly, Sakura had kept herself busy tonight and in doing so had up-ed her uselessness ten folds.
Get started? For what? Sasuke thought, extremely annoyed.
He didn't need to wonder long, because Sai moved forward and kept a huge pack of sake bottles on the dining table.
" This is from us " Sai informs, in his unnaturally polite voice.He tilts his neck a bit towards the jounins standing behind him to clarify that "us".
" Yes, Sakura, that's the plan. " Kakashi drawls and steps further inside, closer. He points a thumb at the ninjas: "These guys are my friends from work. Special jounin all of them. I thought to invite them here on my way. " Kakashi says and then looks straight at him " Don't mind, Sasuke, this is still your night. "
Sasuke presses his lips together. He hates the mocking look in Kakashi's eyes.
"As they say, Kakashi sensei,the more the merrier ". Sakura chimes in, sounding disgustingly cheerful and friendly.
Sasuke really hates this drunk Sakura.
He felt Naruto shift closer and touch his arm. Something must have shown on Sasuke's face. He quickly wears his blank mask again. He looks away and glances out the window..
The sun has already set. It's dark outside. Sasuke wants to go away. Go out. But that is not possible.
Because Kakashi has made it his life's mission to make Sasuke hate his existence.
Sasuke sneers at Kakashi when he wraps a hand around Sasuke's shoulders and says " So, Sasuke, how is it going? All good? " His voice is cheery, his eyes are not. They are dead serious, to the point, that they look cold.
Sasuke shrugs his shoulders to get his hands off. Kakashi lets him go. Sasuke takes a step back but bumps into Naruto.
He finds himself sandwich between Kakashi and Naruto.He stares out towards the group but they all are engaged among themselves.The 'party' has already started.
He looks up at Naruto and raises an eyebrow. For additional effect, he adds a disgusted sneer. Naruto hurriedly takes a step back and gives a wry smile. Sasuke looks away sharply.
He takes a step away from Kakashi. He doesn't understand why Kakashi is behaving this way but again it might be his weird scaring tactic. Sasuke decides to ignore him, for the hour.
" Um.. S-Sasuke, here... " Sakura offers him a glass of sake - probably. Sasuke refuses. Kakashi has a whole bottle in his hand and Naruto has a cup, too. Sakura looks at him confused. " uh? oh.. ok. " She says but doesn't sound ok.
Why is everyone so weird in Konoha.
Sasuke had forgotten this.This madness of Konoha. This privilege of safety and happiness that Konoha shared.
For all his stay in Sound Village, there had been Orochimaru and there had been Kabuto. There was time Sasuke trained and there was time when Sasuke practiced jutsus Orochimaru had taught him.There were planned fights and surprise attacks arranged, missions that Sasuke was given, that he did.
There were couple of ninjas that he paired up with who eventually end up dead because longevity was a concept Orochimaru did not associat with others who he considered spares.
So, all three years, Sasuke had made no social contact outside mission and training. And it was good because he had never been a social person.
The contrast from that to this baffled Sasuke. His mind slowed. why? what am I even doing here? He wanted to be anywhere but here. Playing happy buddies with born morons - useless fucks who will never amount to anything in life. He wanted out.
He wanted to leave.
Sasuke life had a purpose and he wanted to be out there fulfilling that. After he was dead. After Sasuke's family was avenged, he would let Konoha do anything.
Like, it is only a matter of producing heirs, right? He would have willingly done that. Why did they need to force Sasuke to come back and stay.
Sasuke would have done that,if Konoha had not done this. If only a little later; But no Konoha didn't like that. They had to have everything like they wanted. Old stupid, greedy, bastards.
Sasuke will give them what they were asking for: their demise.
For a moment, Naruto thought everything would be alright.
The night had started out great. Everything was alright. Sasuke looked fine, if only a little bit annoyed. All in all, it was a good start for the night.
Naruto let himself relax.
He stood beside Sasuke.Sasuke was standing at the farthest corner, near the burner, right beside the window.
Kakashi had made himself comfortable on the other side of Sasuke, blocking that window. It was tactical, -probably not- , but Naruto doubted Sasuke even considered that window as escape.
Sasuke, if he ran, would go out the front door, after he cut everyone down in between. But Naruto banished that thought from his mind and gulped his sake down. He poured himself another and looked at Sasuke.
Sasuke was glaring at others. The rest of the guys were hanging around at various spots in Sasuke's kitchen. Some were in the dining area, bordering to have entered even the living space.
Everyone looked happy, relaxed and generally having a good time.
Naruto felt a grin creep on his face as he watched Kiba and Akamaru bugging Neji with Sai egging them on,while Neji completely ignored them. Shino stood on the side, easily unnoticeable. Choji was busy eating and Rock Lee was stuck under Neji 's keen supervision and was held off of drinking.
Kakashi sensei 's company was hanging out in the dining room and some in the living room. To be honest, Naruto got a feeling they were not there to party. It was more of a guarding, it seemed.
Naruto felt a little bit irritated at Kakashi sensei as a fleeting feeling creeped in Naruto 's stomach. He felt unusually nervous.
He glanced at Sasuke again, and saw him in a glaring contest with Captain Yamato who was standing beside Kakashi sensei. Kakashi sensei playfully diverted their attention by plunging them into a conversation which Sasuke blatantly ignored.
" Opps...! " Naruto heard a loud, wet whoop! and turned his head to look at the dining area.
Sakura was sitting slumped on the floor, Ino was giggling above her.Tenten was struggling to support Sakura. Sakura looked down at herself, raised her head up to look at Ino and barked out a laugh.
They all burst out laughing as Tenten let go and sat beside Sakura. Naruto smiled. He even caught Hinata throwing a smile at Sakura, a rosy softness to her cheeks.
Looking around, Naruto felt incredibly happy. This was what home felt like. All his loved ones present in one room. He felt cosy and warm. It truly was a feeling of homecoming to Naruto.
Naruto always knew that when Sasuke came back, Naruto would finally be at home. And he was. He was here, at home. With everyone. With Sasuke.
He felt his heart beat race when he realised he was standing beside Sasuke and that Sasuke was actually present in that room too. Nothing could have been better than this.
If Naruto could, he would stay here,with all of them by his side, forever.
But good things never last.
Naruto watches as a drunk Kiba makes his way towards them. Akamaru is on its back somewhere close to Hinata 's feet. So, he doesn't follow Kiba.
He watches as Kiba comes and stands in front of Sasuke. Sasuke, after few awkward seconds, deign to look at Kiba.
The atmosphere becomes really tense. Naruto shifts in his place. His senses go on high alert. He knows that Kiba, who gazes at Sasuke with his drunk mocking eyes is going to say or do something really stupid.
But Naruto cannot do anything other than watch. He is witnessing a firey jutsu go wrong. He is a bystander in front of a disaster.
"Sasuke, finally back in Konoha, after getting your ass kicked ? " Kiba says, his voice strangely pitched, that gives away that he has more to add, " or better to say, licked? Hahaha..." Kiba barks the loudest laugh humanly possible and doubles over, laughing harder. Naruto cringes. It was such a terrible joke that he wishes he were deaf.
The damage is done.
Sasuke throws a punch at Kiba. A drunk Kiba is a drunk Kiba. It hits him right in the face. But a drunk Kiba is still a ninja and so, a stronger Kiba than Sasuke right now, hence that punch doesn't do much damage , only a head tilt.
It is enough, though, to attract all the attention. Suddenly, they are surrounded by all the guys , including Kakashi sensei 's friends.
Naruto quickly gets in front of Sasuke, shielding him. He stops when he realises what he has done but then continues. This is not the time to think.
"Hey, guys, it's nothing. Kiba just made some deregrotary remark. You all know how Sasuke is, anyways. " Naruto rushes the words out, smiling awkwardly. It does nothing.
Sakura speaks up, "Deregrotary? But Naruto, nothing Kiba can say should have that reaction. Violence? That is not how it works." Her speech is slurred and her eyes are closing half way but Sakura completes her sentence.
Naruto knows she would have never said that if she weren't drunk, knowing it will just make matter worse.
"Come on, guys, we are all friends here. Hey, Sasuke! Just apologize and end it! " Naruto nudges Sasuke. It has no effect. Sasuke, in his signature style, arrogantly turns his face away. It is clear that Sasuke doesn't care nor does he feels sorry for anything.
"Friends you say? But Sasuke has been nothing friendly to us ever since arriving." It was Sai. And Naruto wished he wasn't. "He did not even try to talk with us since the party began." Sai speaks in his polite sincere voice but to Naruto's ear it all sounds insincere.
"Yes, Naruto, let Sasuke speak for himself. Sasuke, come forward and be bold in your youth." Rock Lee says. Even he sounds a bit tipsy. Naruto fears the worse.
He looks at Kakashi sensei for help.
Kakashi sensei posture was relaxed, leaning against the wall, looking at the scene unfold. His eyes were empty. Face expression. When he saw Naruto look at him, it came alive. He moved.
Kakashi straightens himself lazily and puts his cup down on . Goosebumps explodes all over Naruto.
Before he can move, Kakashi has already acted.
Naruto watches in slow motion as Kakashi grabs Sasuke by his arm, suddenly appearing behind him.
"Don't play so tough, Sasuke." Kakashi says, Naruto shivers. He almost brings Kyunbi out in his anxiety but then like a handbrake his whole body stops. He calms. Yes, Kakashi sensei and Naruto had talked about this. Not let Sasuke be like this, not let him entice violence and tension.
But still, he cannot accept this. So, he decides to stop them - stop Kakashi from hurting Sasuke. But Sasuke has never been good at playing submissive.
Sasuke jerks his hand away from Kakashi. His mouth twists in an ugly sneer. He opens his mouth to speak- Naruto blinks and-
Sasuke is on the ground, with Kakashi on top of him, pressing his face into the carpet. A few jounin ninjas has come between them and the rest. Sakura and the others are being ushered by rest of the jounins to move into the living room.
Captain Yamato stands with them. Sai is with Sakura and others. Naruto feels horrible.
"We talked about this, Sasuke, didn't we? No trouble. " Kakashi drawls. He sounds pretty relaxed, as if thrusting people faces into carpet was his hobby.
He sits up after Sasuke stops struggling. Sasuke stays on the floor.
Naruto attempts to catch Sasuke eyes, to check his face, see his expression, if he is alright but Sasuke face is hidden, pressed against the floor with his hair covering his other half.
Naruto panics. Sasuke is way too quite. No motion in his body. It is as if he his dead - Naruto cringes at that thought and shakes his head.
"Why did you do that, Kakashi sensei? " He asks, his voice sounds hurt, even betrayed.
"Naruto, pick Sasuke up." Kakashi ignores Naruto completely, his eyes back on Sasuke.
Naruto hesitates, throws a worried look at Kakashi but then bends to take Sasuke 's arm.
He feels no resistance from Sasuke. "Hey, Sasuke, get up." He says gently, in his soothing voice but ends up sounding nervous and hurrid.
Sasuke doesn't reply. So, Naruto in a great show of courage, impulsively flips him on his back.
Sasuke's body turns very easily, with no resistance and he is lying on his back now, face up, neck tilted a bit. Naruto heart thunders in his chest.
"Sasuke- you -? " Naruto doesn't get to finish. His hand's already moving and he reaches to sweep Sasuke's hair away from his face.
Sasuke's face is chalky white. His eyes are closed. Without thinking, Naruto's fingers move to his pulse: Sasuke is alive. Naruto calms down, then, he springs up right.
"What the hell,Kakashi sensei!? " He yells at Kakashi, his mind full of rage he can't explain. " What did you do? "
"Uh...I must have pressed too tightly. Forgot he wasn't the same anymore." Kakashi says, still staring at Sasuke. " Sorry about that, Naruto " he looks up and gives a closed-eye smile.
Kakashi doesn't sounds bothered at all.
Naruto cannot comprehend this. He speaks " Get everyone out. The night's over." He says in a voice he doesn't recognize - cold and unfamiliar.
He stoops down to pick Sasuke up and carries him inside, to his bedroom.
He ignores everyone else. Doesn't even look at them as everyone filters out of Sasuke's house.
Naruto slams the bedroom door shut.
There it went. In the drain.
A great evening with no goodbyes.
It was truly a tragedy.
Sasuke was a brilliant mind, an excellent student. Some would even call him a prodigy.
Therefore, it was a tragedy to witness him like this, being so weak and taken care by someone else.
Kakashi remembers. Sasuke had always been too good in making others violent. Both, with his attitude and his actions.
If someone asked him what prompted this one sided fight, Kakashi would not be able to answer. After all, what was the right answer to this question anyway.
Something pissed him off? something he did not like? Or probably because his trust issues would not let him cut Sasuke some slack?
Yes, it must be that. It must be all of that.
Kakashi rarely ever got angry. So, anger wasn't the reason. He wasn't petty either. He would never attack Sasuke out of spite.
Kakashi also was not the shallow type. And there was nothing displeasing about Sasuke. From his face to his moodiness, somehow it all managed to work out with Sasuke. So, it wad not that he did not like something.
Kakashi thinks, then, that it had to do much with the sake he had been drinking and the fact that Sasuke was still very much the Sasuke who had defected that made Kakashi flung him down on the floor in reflex.
It wasn't much of Sasuke's fault, Kakashi admits.
Kiba was the one to start an unnecessary scene. As a mentor, Kakashi should have sided against him but Kiba was a leaf nin. His loyalty was unquestionable.
Kakashi starts to think what is with his aggression towards Sasuke. But at the end of the day, it is quite clear. Sasuke is what Kakashi will call a lost child.
Their past are much alike. He knows Sasuke more than Sasuke himself. He sees his past in him and hates it.
Sasuke is a living example of Kakashi 's failure as a teacher. Kakashi has always been a disappointment. To himself and to others. He lost his family. He lost his teammates. He lost his sensei. Now, he lost his student as well.
These failures were enough to make him quit. Shun himself. But looking at Sasuke, seeing him alive, Kakashi couldn't turn his back. Not now.
He never had been forceful once in his time as a jounin sensei with Team 7. Never actually tried to get to them as a person. He was scared. And his fears came alive. Sasuke defected. Went to Orochimaru. Kakashi failed. Made him an enemy.
Kakashi has spent hours in bed, after Sasuke left, thinking if only he was a better teacher, a better man, then this would never have happened. He had the power to save Sasuke. Make him see good in life. He could have stopped any of this from happening. But he still...
In the end, it didn't even matter. But having Sasuke back now. He has a choice to make. What he wants to be to Sasuke. Before, he was hesitant. Still hiding, running away from his past. But today, he cannot run anymore.
He lost Sasuke once. Won't let it happen again. No matter what it takes. Even if he has to play the worst person in this game, he will make sure that Sasuke doesn't run again.
It is not going to be like this forever. Kakashi cannot let Sasuke live like this: as a crippled ninja. Bound forever.
Konoha will not let Sasuke go. So, Kakashi needs to make sure that Sasuke gets to a point where they don't need to keep him under a seal to make him stay in Konoha.
Sasuke has to earn his right back. Take it from Konoha. And they will only allow that once they believe that Sasuke absolutely needs to have his chakra back and will stay loyal to them after that.
And so, Sasuke will need to be pushed.
To the point where he demands to be free.
Naruto sits at the foot of Sasuke's bed .
Sasuke's breathing is slow but steady. Naruto is too nervous to leave the room, though.
He was angry. He had been angry. All this that happened soured his good mood. He felt frustrated.
He gets up, and glances at Sasuke one last time to make sure he is sleeping comfortably, and turns towards the door.
It opens and there stands Kakashi. Naruto stiffens. He looks back at Sasuke. And lets his shoulders drop and relax. He sighs. Kakashi is leaning against the wall, not crossing the threshold.
"What do you want, Kakashi sensei? " He asks. Looking straight at Kakashi, feeling a little bit tired.
"Nothing. Wanted to let you know everyone left. " Kakashi tilts his head, stretching it to look past Naruto at Sasuke, "How is he?" Kakashi asks, nodding at Sasuke.
Naruto sighs again, sounding incredibly tired "Fine. Sleeping." He looks at Kakashi again and moves out the door, closing it behind him. Kakashi follows.
"Naruto...?" Kakashi asks, his voice delicate, so unlike Kakashi sensei.
"Ya, I am fine too. Just... you know? It didn't need to end like that. Everyone was so happy." He says, taking a seat at the dinner table, his face falling down. He rests his head against the table top.
Heads down. Trying to relax.
"Hm... I know. But Sasuke right now has still not understood that he is back in Konoha, among his friends. He still needs to cope with that." Kakashi explains.
"So, why you gotta push him, Kakashi sensei? " Naruto all but yells, he controls himself. Letting his head fall back down again.
"Because Sasuke needs that. I think you understand that best, Naruto. The last thing he needs is us handling him like he is a porcelain doll." Kakashi replies, calmly. "He has always been a strong fighter. He still wants to stay the same."
It makes sense, Naruto thinks. Yes, probably, that is true. But he doesn't want to fight with Sasuke anymore.
"Anyways, you make sure nothing like this happens again. Sasuke is already walking on eggshells with the Council. This incident will be reported. Take better care next time." Kakashi says as his captain duty requires.
He shoves his hand in his pockets and starts to leave. Waving at Naruto as he passes. Naruto lifts his head and nods slightly, getting up too.
They don't go far. Kakashi is near the front door when Sasuke comes out and stops him.
"Who do you think you are, Kakashi?" Sasuke looks angry, livid. He sounds unhinged, histerical. Naruto has never seen him like this ever before. "You want to fight? Open these seals and I will show you your place."
He sneers, his eyes venomous and cold. He is glaring at Kakashi like his life depends on it. All his anger in that one gaze. Naruto inhales.
" Mah.. Sasuke, don't be so angry. I already feel sorry for how things turned out." Kakashi says, his eye closes as he smiles.He waves leisurely as he speaks.
" But if you want to fight.. " He opens his eyes, dead serious and looks straight at Sasuke. Sasuke glares back. "That can be arranged " He says , his voice still calm though a bit suggestive.
He smiles again suddenly and says in a warm sweet voice, "I would love to see how much you have improved."
Kakashi is still smiling as he looks at Sasuke. He raises his eyebrow, in question, then adds, "under Orochimaru 's guidance." It almost sounds as a taunt.
Naruto gets the idea that Kakashi is enticing Sasuke. Which fairly is not needed, because Sasuke looks like he is going to explode.
"You bet, Kakashi." Sasuke can only say that much before he chokes in anger.
Naruto wants to say something but doesn't know what. But if it will get Sasuke to get that awful seal marks off, he...
"Fine, then. Tomorrow morning? How does that sounds? I will arrange for your seals to be opened." Kakashi says finally.
Sasuke nods. And then, Kakashi is gone, shunshined away in the winds.
Naruto looks back at Sasuke. It is only them there, all alone. The wind rustle the leaves. The sky is dark and the night is cold.
Sasuke looks back at Naruto and holds his gaze. Then, stomps inside. Naruto follows.
They go into the kitchen where Sasuke pours himself a glass of water. He gulps it all down and pours again. Sasuke drinks three cups of water before he finally calms. All this time, Naruto keeps standing where he is, watching him.
Then, Sasuke slams the glass down and look sharply at Naruto. It looks like he wants to say something but then doesn't and saunters away, towards his bedroom.
Naruto stands there, not knowing what to do. It is late. He should go home. He looks out the window and sees the darkness outside.
He follows Sasuke to his room.
Sasuke is there on his bed. Sitting, and glaring at the floor.
Naruto goes and without thinking kneels in front of Sasuke. He looks up at Sasuke 's pale face. Their eyes meet.
An electric fire runs through Naruto's whole body. This is the first time Sasuke looked at him. AtNaruto, into his eyes, and acknowledged him.
Naruto fills his heart fill up. His throat closes. It has been so long. The first time Sasuke looked at Naruto after his return to Konoha, his eyes had been clouded with anger and hatred.
Today, it is clear. There is nothing between them but their own souls that's reflected in each other 's eyes.
Sasuke stares at him and he stares back. Time stops. Until Sasuke speaks -
"Shouldn't you leave too?" He asks, no emotion reflected in his voice. "Go home? "
Naruto doesn't take his eyes off his. It comes naturally to him, without thinking, what he says next.
"No, Sasuke. I don't need to go away. I am already home."
He says it in a whisper, close to Sasuke, a soft smile on his lips. His bright and simmering with truth.
Sasuke says nothing. His blank face breaks. His face appears sad for the first time. A face Naruto doesn't remember seeing on Sasuke.
He looks like a child. The child who left.
Naruto grins. His smile seems to lightens the darkness in the room.
"I will never leave."
They stay there. Sasuke on his bed. Naruto kneeling before him. Both staring at each other.
Moon light filters through the window, falling on them, lighting up their figures, creating a silver halo around them.
Where Will I Go, If Not Home.
A/N:
I have started posting this story on ao 3, as well.