A/N: Hi guys! Here's chapter 30 (I can't believe it's already been a week!), this chapter is pretty heavy content wise so please mind the warnings! It's mainly on Hikari's grief but there is a Yamichar moment in the beginning, also Leon is /thoughtfullyrainynightmare 's OC child so he belongs to her and thank you for letting me borrow him! I hope you all enjoy!
Warning: Angst and Grief
—
Silence.
That's what greeted the group when they returned from the future. At first everyone was excited, happy, and curious to find out what the future looked like and if they discovered how to fix it. But once they saw the looks on their faces, and saw Yami carrying something in his dark magic sphere, they knew something had happened. When they noticed that Alistar wasn't among the group they all knew what had happened.
Silence.
That's what followed the entire group as they left the basement. Charlotte had quietly told the others that she would tell them about what happened later, but for now they would take Alistar's body to Owen and the other kids back to the Temporary House. Julius didn't argue, and so Hikari, William, Yami, and Charlotte took Alistar down to Owen as the others took Kya and went back to the house.
Silence.
Followed the group to Owen's office. When Owen greeted them he explained that he was informed of everything already by Julius so there was no need to worry. Hikari stood there and just watched as Owen took Alistar's body, Charlotte placed a hand on her shoulder and tried to tell her they needed to go. But Hikari refused. She muttered how she couldn't leave him alone, that she promised to always stay by his side. Charlotte and Yami just looked at each other, as Charlotte went to try and convince William to leave, Yami would try his hand at convincing Hikari.
He placed a hand on his 'daughters' head and told her they needed to go, but she still refused to move. He told her that she needed to get some rest, that Alistar would be worried and upset if she stayed out here all night just because of him. Finally, after much coaxing, Yami was finally able to convince Hikari to leave, just as Charlotte had convinced William.
When the group returned to the house they were greeted with more silence. Everyone just sat there, some looked at them with sad and sympathetic looks, and others stared at the ground. Hikari just walked numbly to her room and shut the door behind her.
That's where she remained for the next few days.
—
No one really knew what to do. Alistar was gone, Hikari and William were grieving, and, while they knew of one devil, there was apparently another whose identity was still a mystery to them. It was one step forward and two steps back.
Charlotte walked down the hall towards Hikari's room, she had tried to talk to her the past few days, as did Yami, but she never answered the door. Instead they were only greeted with silence. Charlotte had been putting food outside her door, but it remained untouched except for a few pieces of bread.
" Hikari, are you awake?" Charlotte asked as she gently knocked on the door. There was no answer. Charlotte knocked again, but still nothing. Finally, the blonde haired mage let out a sigh before turning around and walking away, she would have Yami try later.
As she walked into the common area she heard the others talking in hushed voices, she frowned a bit, it seemed like the 'parents' had grown closer to their 'children' while they were gone. It had only been a couple of hours that day, but still.
" So what'd we do now?" Zora asked Gauche softly, Gauche sighed as he held Maelie, who was fast asleep, in his arms.
" I dunno. The one person who seemed to have all the answers is dead, and two of our strongest are down right now, so all we have is Captain Yami and Captain Roselei and they're just as in the dark as the rest of us." Gauche muttered thoughtfully. " I think we'll just have to wait and see."
" That's all we've been doing though?" Nebra pipped up from across the room. " We've been sitting here twiddling our thumbs and waiting, so how much longer do we have to wait?"
" Finally you and I agree on something." Josslyn muttered from the corner of the room, she had been awfully quiet the past few days, Charlotte wondered if the pink haired girl had been feeling guilty for how she treated Alistar while he was alive, and if she was trying to figure out how she could comfort her friend.
" We'll all discuss this matter later, but for now I think we can all take a bit to grieve." Charlotte suddenly announced, causing everyone in the room to jump. " Neva and Yuno have been trying to talk to William just as I and Yami have been trying to talk to Hikari. But you can't just expect them to brush the dust off and get back to the task at hand, especially after they lost a friend and child." Charlotte added, the group all looked down in guilt. They didn't know what they would do if they had lost one of their friends or children like Hikari and William.
Charlotte quickly walked away and towards the balcony where Yami had been sitting. She looked out the door and saw him sitting on the railing, smoking what she assumed was his fifth cigarette of the day. Ever since they got back she noticed he had been smoking more and more, which she took as a sign that he was beyond stressed out.
" You just gonna sit there and stare?" Yami asked as he put his cigarette out, Charlotte chuckled.
" I mean, it is a nice view." Charlotte said playfully before her eyes widened 'Did I actually just say that?!' She thought in horror, but Yami chuckled a bit, although she thought she saw a hint of pink on his cheeks.
" It is." He said in agreement as he turned around to look at her with a soft smile, the smile that made the blonde haired woman's heart skip a beat. She felt a blush creep onto her cheeks as she walked over to him and leaned on the railing.
" Did Hikari answer the door?" Yami asked, when Charlotte shook her head Yami sighed. " I'll try to talk to her later."
" How long do you think she and William will stay in their rooms?" Charlotte asked softly, Yami shrugged as he looked at his pack of cigarettes.
" I dunno. If it were me, I don't think I'd be any different from them." He muttered softly, Charlotte nodded in agreement. They would both probably be in just as bad of shape as them.
" I shouldn't have distrusted him," Yami muttered after a few minutes of silence Charlotte frowned as she turned to fully look at him.
" We didn't know this would happen, and Alistar had been acting strangely. I don't think you did anything wrong." Charlotte defended before letting out a soft sigh. " If anyone was wrong it was me, I should have trusted him more, but instead I was scared he was going to be like William and Patolli and betray us."
" Let's just say we were both wrong then. That way we can equally take the blame." Yami suggested as he pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and took a drag.
The two fell into silence again and this time Charlotte stared at him, the image of him being battered and bruised in their fight with Botis was a lot like when she had found him when they were battling Spade. She had promised herself that she would protect him and keep him safe, but she failed, again. Before she could stop herself her hand reached out and gently touched his shoulder where Botis had slashed it, she felt Yami tense up but then relax before turning to look at her.
" How is your shoulder?" She asked softly, her eyes full of worry, Yami turned away and rubbed his head nervously.
" It's all healed up thanks to Vangeance and Owen." Yami said softly, he noticed the Prickly Princess still didn't seem convinced. He sighed, he hated making her worried, it always pulled at something in his chest. He gently placed his hand on top of hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.
" It's fine, Prickly Princess, I promise." Yami told her softly.
The two then stared at each other, both their faces slightly pink. They stood there, holding each other's hand, and just looking at each other. Charlotte swore her heart was beating so loudly that even Yami could hear it, and she felt it slowly get louder and beat more rapidly as it appeared his face was inching closer and closer to hers.
'W-What is Yami doing? Is he going to k-kiss me?! No, no we have more important things to worry about right now! Wait, why am I closing my eyes? C-Charlotte snap out of it!' She mentally shouted at herself but it was no use, her eyes had already completely closed.
But she never felt Yami kiss her.
She frowned and opened her eyes to see the dark haired man staring out over the balcony.
" Someone's coming." He muttered and Charlotte turned to look and did, in fact, see someone coming. It was hard to make out but it appeared to be a young man on a broom. She quickly followed Yami off the balcony and towards the front door.
—
Yami and Charlotte walked down the hall and reached the common area just in time to see Gauche open the front door.
" Uh, Captain? I think we have a problem." Gauche said as he turned to his Captain, Yami walked over and was met with a young vermillion haired man.
" Ah crap here we go again." Yami muttered, he was half tempted to slam the door in the kids face, he was not going through this again! He was done with future kids just popping up here, there, and everywhere! The young man held up a hand.
" Don't worry I'm not here for your guys mission," Leon Vermillion said kindly, even without the kid introducing himself everyone could see he was a Vermillion, Fuegoleon Vermillion's to be exact.
" Leon?" Everyone suddenly turned to see Hikari standing there, her face pale and her eyes puffy, you could tell she wasn't sleeping or eating like she should, and it broke Yami and Charlotte's hearts just looking at her.
" Hikari," Leon said softly as he entered the house. He gave everyone a courteous nod before walking towards the dark haired girl. " I was actually here to see you." He added as he turned back to the others.
" Can we talk privately for a moment?" He asked her, Hikari nodded and began to walk back towards her room, Leon nodded towards everyone again before following behind her. Yami went to follow the two but Charlotte grabbed his arm.
" Give them a minute." She muttered, Yami sighed but nodded, maybe this kid could get through to Hikari since it didn't seem anyone else could.
Leon gently closed the door behind Hikari, as he looked around her small room he could see she hadn't left it for a while. It was completely dark as she had the shades drawn, he walked over to them and yanked them open, blinding Hikari in the process.
" A little warning next time." She muttered as Leon opened the window to let in some fresh air, he turned to look at her as he crossed his arms.
" I…heard about Alistar, I'm sorry Hikari." He muttered, Hikari could see the sadness in his eyes, he and Alistar were good friends as well, and she could imagine how shocking the news was to him.
" I don't know what he was thinking, going off alone like that." Hikari muttered as she walked over to stand next to the window, Leon let out a sigh.
" He was probably thinking he could handle it by himself," Leon said thoughtfully. " and that if he lost control again it would be better if you weren't involved." He added but Hikari shook her head.
" No. He underestimated the enemy and was reckless, so it got him killed." She muttered, Leon frowned, Hikari wasn't one to usually talk like this, especially about Alistar.
" You're angry." Leon said firmly with a small nod, Hikari glared at him.
" Yeah I'm angry," Hikari muttered with a humorless laugh. " I told him that it was a stupid idea to solit up, but he didn't listen. He never listens." Leon tilted his head a bit.
" Are you sure it's just because of that that you're angry?" He asked curiously. " You and Alistar always promised each other that you would come back safely, right? And you called each other your 'bodyguards' and bodyguards are meant to protect their charges. So are you sure you're not just angry that he failed to keep his promises, and you failed to keep yours?" Leon watched as the dark haired girl turned fully to face him, her eyes angry. He had hit the nail on the head it seemed.
" Get out." She growled. " Now." Leon held his hands up in defense.
" I was just-."
" GET OUT!" She roared, Leon could see angry tears welling up in her eyes and he began to back away. This was one of the few times he had ever seen her this angry, and in a small way this is what he was hoping for, he wasn't intentionally trying to provoke her or anything like that. But he was trying to help her work through her emotions and help her with her grieving.
" Y'know, I'm angry that he died too," Leon started as he stood in the doorway. " Ever since I heard the news I keep thinking 'what if I had been there to help?' or 'why was that Pretty Boy so reckless?' but I think I understand why he did it. Because he thought he was protecting everyone, and that if he could handle something like that on his own it would regain everyone's trust. So you can be mad and angry at him, but just know he had the best of intentions as he always did." He turned to walk away before adding.
" And Alistar wouldn't want you to be like this, locked away in this dark room all by yourself, he would want you to be surrounded by your friends and loved ones, to keep moving forward with the mission, to move on with your life, and to be happy. Seeing you so defeated like this? I think it would hurt his feelings, don't you?" He asked before turning and walking out of the room, Hikari just glared at the vermillion haired man's back before walking towards her bed and flopping down onto her bed.
Leon's words had struck a nerve, and she suddenly began to feel guilty. She felt guilty about shouting at him when he only had her best interests, and she felt guilty for staying in her room. He was right, Alistar would be sad that she decided to stay in her room, but what did his opinion matter anymore?
He was dead.
—
A few minutes passed and Hikari just stared out her door, she couldn't be bothered to get up and close it. But across the hall sat Alistar's room. He had moved farther down the hall since the younger kids all wanted to bunk together, so he traded rooms with one of the other kids. She stared at the door. He had kept his room locked up pretty much since they arrived and didn't allow anyone in there, not even her.
She suddenly got up and walked towards it, she wasn't usually one to take her anger out on things, but for some reason she just felt compelled to go in there and mess up his things. He was a very organized person, and she knew that would make him angry.
He made her angry by dying, so now she was going to make him angry by messing up his room.
It didn't make sense Hikari knew, but right now the entire world didn't make sense to her. Alistar was gone, her family was gone, they were no closer to figuring this whole mess out. Nothing made sense.
She turned the door knob and heard it 'click' before she pushed it open. As she walked in the room looked just how she expected it too; neat and tidy. Save for the desk that was against the wall, she nearly laughed, his desk was always a mess. No matter how clean the room, his desk would always be a mess.
She walked over to his book shelf, she began to pull books out and throw them around or drop them onto the floor. She began to move his potted plants to different areas. Finally she came to his desk and, as she reached out to throw the papers to the ground she froze.
On top of the desk, in a small vase sat a Spider Lily, the one his mother had given him the day he met her. When Hikari had knocked Alistar out that day he had accidentally dropped it when Yami picked him up, so she had quickly grabbed it and set it down on his nightstand before she and her 'father' had talked. She frowned when she saw a small note leaned up against it, she grabbed it and opened it.
'Give to Hikari once we get back home.'
Hikari frowned, he…was planning on giving this to her? But why? She figured it would be something that Alistar would want to keep since his mother gave it to him.
She looked down at the rest of his desk, two books sat on top of all the papers. One was 'The Language of Flowers' , the only thing he had of his mothers, and the other was a journal she had never seen before. She opened it and flipped through the pages, each one was written after he had arrived and was recounting all those days' events and his thoughts on them. Hikari paused when she came to his last entry.
'Today's the day, we're finally going back home to try and confront the person that is trying to take over the entire continent. The Witch Queen will decide who will stay in the past and who will go to the future since she is able to tell which of us has gotten stronger the past few weeks.
But I have a bad feeling about this, I usually try not to think of what can possibly happen during a mission, especially since any number of things can happen. But this time that's all I can think about, what if my father's past self dies during the battle? Then I would cease to exist, or what if one of Hikari's parents…?
No! I can't think about that…a world without Hikari...nonono I won't even entertain that possibility! Hikari will survive this battle, I'll make sure of it even if it costs me my life. I'm her bodyguard, I'm going to keep her safe!
But after what the Witch Queen said during our first meeting, that not all of us would make it out of this alive, I can't help but feel like that's very possible. The Witch Queen can see the future of course.
I'm going to do my best to try and keep everyone safe, but...I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to do that. Especially not after what happened during the versus battles.
Hikari, if by some chance you find this journal and read this page. I need you to know that you're my best friend and that I love you. I've loved you since we were 15 years old. Actually, if I'm being honest, I've probably loved you since the day it rained, but I didn't admit it to myself until I was 15.
I'm sorry I never had the courage to tell you this, I let the fear of you not feeling the same way as me get in the way of actually confessing and finding out. I shouldn't have been such a chicken haha, but maybe when all of this is over I'll finally be able to tell you how I really feel.'
Hikari felt tears stream down her face and land on the pages of the journal with loud 'thumps'. He…loved her? All this time, he's loved her? She felt her heart clench so tightly in her chest that she actually had to grab her shirt. Why…why?
She heard someone come softly into the room but didn't turn, instead she continued to sob in her chair. She only turned when she felt them place a hand on her shoulder, it was Yami.
Hikari began to cry harder at the sight of her 'father'. He gently pulled her up out of the chair by her arm and pulled her into a hug. He wasn't the best at comforting people, but right now he would try his damndest for his 'daughter'.
" I'm so angry at him dad!" Hikari cried, she hadn't noticed she had called Yami 'dad' and frankly didn't care. " He promised me that he would come back safe and sound like he always did, he promised! He said he loved me in his journal, if he loved me he should have kept that promise and came back!" She added as she suddenly gripped her fathers shirt in her hands, much like she did when she was a child.
" So why did he go and die before he could tell me huh?! Why couldn't he have been brave enough to tell me before we left…why wasn't I brave enough to tell him that I loved him first?" Hikari finished weakly, she hadn't realized it until just now, but she really had loved him as more than just a friend, like her mother teased her both here in the past and in the future.
Yami just held Hikari in his arms as she muttered sentences incoherently. On the one hand he wanted to drag Alistar out from the afterlife just so that he could kill him again, but on the other he knew it would only make Hikari hurt more.
Leon had told them before he left that he had partially-intentionally made her angry, but that it was to try and get her to start healing. Grief was an ugly thing, it messed with you and could make the strongest person in the world break. Yami watched as it seemed like his 'daughter' was going through all five stages of grief at once and he just held her, there were no comforting words he could give her, all he could say was:
" It's going to be okay. We'll fix this. I promise."