June 7th, 2021
Keiichi Maebara stood on a path in the misty moors of Scotland, dressed in a brown tweed Inverness cape and a deerstalker hat. He fingered the envelope inside his coat with a frown. It was a thin lead, to be sure, but he hadn't gotten to the heights he had by denying his cases or his clients.
To the World's Greatest Detective:
Please come at once to Mystery Manor. Mysterious things are happening here. Hurry!
Signed,
Lady Mion, Mistress of Mystery Manor
PS: To get to Mystery Manor, just follow the path across the moor.
The aforementioned path was a thin dirt path with no border, nearly invisible among the thin grass and the swirling mists, and the dirt crunched under his feet as he started forward. The world around him was grey and washed-out, with low mountains rising into the distance and the hills of the moor undulating like bread dough all around him. The grey of the rock blended in with the grey low clouds and the grey mists, so that the only color around was the indifferent muddy green of the grass, the paler brown of the path, and himself. A few larger weeds sprouted from the grass, and tumbles of lichen-covered rocks spotted the landscape.
Keiichi hesitated for a moment, and blinked as sound bounced off the rocks.
Pat-pat-pat.
"Kind of echoy here." he muttered, drawing his coat closer as he continued to walk. Testing, he paused again after walking on a feet meters.
Pat-pat-pat.
It sounded almost like extra footsteps.
He kept walking though, ignoring the half-beat behind him for the time being, until the looming walls of a hedge maze broke through the mist, a sign that he was getting close to the manor. The piles of rocks had been cleared away, and there was nothing for sound to echo off of. He stopped, and there they were again.
Pat-pat.
Looking behind himself, though, there was no one on the whole moor path for as far as he could see, and though the mist hung in swathes everywhere, it was also light, and you could see for nearly a mile. Keiichi stepped forward for about five steps, then stopped, still looking behind himself.
Pat-pat-pat.
Growing annoyed, he stomped in a circle, spinning on one foot, then paused and held a hand to his ear.
Pat-pa-pat, pat-pat.
"Hmm. I think someone may be following me." Keiichi said, rubbing his chin. "That's mysterious…very mysterious."
He shrugged it off and approached the hedge, though, looking at it with a frown. On the left hand-side there was a gap, leading into the maze, and on the right was a corner. If he went around the maze, he might miss the manor entirely, but trying to thread through it would be an annoyance. The path split off in both directions, branching to envelope the maze.
Looking back left, he froze as he saw a muffled figure standing on the left-hand path, having apparently walked out of the maze. They had short-copper-colored hair, and were muffled up to their chin with a scarf and down to their toes in an oiled cloak. After staring at him for a moment, the figure turned and began walking back into the maze.
"Hey there! Wait up!" Keiichi called, running after them, into the maze. No matter how fast he ran, though, the figure was always at a corner, just pulling out of sight, until he cornered them, panting, at another hedge wall. "Do you know the way to Mystery Manor?"
The figure pointed to their left, and Keiichi blinked as the mist parted, showing another gap with a white cobblestone path, clearly something that might lead up to the gates of a properly lofty manor.
"Oh. Well, thank y-"
He gasped as he turned back to the figure and saw that they were gone. He hadn't looked away for more than a few seconds, and it didn't look as though they had pushed their way through the smooth wall of the hedge.
"Mysterious…" Keiichi noted, frowning. "Very mysterious."
Shrugging again, he walked up the gravel front drive, around the fountain, and rang the front doorbell. Within a few moments, it opened with a creak, revealing a blue-eyed woman dressed in a very proper dark suit, with short copper hair slicked back over her forehead. In one hand she held a kerosene lantern, giving light to the dim front porch.
"Good evening, sir." she said with a bow, still holding open the door.
"Good evening." Keiichi replied stiffly, before moving into the house. "I am the world's greatest detective. I'm here to see Lady Mion."
"I am Rena, the butler." Rena said, placing a hand over her chest as she let the door fall shut. "Lady Mion is expecting you. Please, follow me. Lady Mion is in the library."
She led Keiichi further into the front hall, which was papered in red geometric shapes over the waist-high wainscoting and enlivened by a few pastoral landscapes. The wooden floors were bare and creaky, and several large doors opened up into other rooms of the house, with a staircase leading upwards on the left. A grandfather clock ticked sleepily away on the right wall.
Keiichi took all this in with his magnifying glass.
"So, Butler Rena, what do you do around here?" he asked, finally putting it away as he followed after her.
"Well, sir, I wait upon Lady Mion, I open the door for Lady Mion's guests, I serve Lady Mion tea." Rena said primly, coming to a halt as Keiichi bumped into her back. He grunted and then stepped back sheepishly.
"In short, you do whatever Lady Mion wants." he summarized, trying to cover up his mistake, and Rena turned to him as she laid her hand on the knob of the door.
"Of course, sir. Because I am –the butler."
This butler is mysterious. Keiichi thought. Very mysterious.
"The world's greatest detective!" Rena announced as she opened the door and stepped aside, ushering Keiichi into a very homey library, with a strong fire in the grate and bookshelves upon every wall. A freestanding globe sat on the floor, and there was a fainting couch and large bay windows on the far wall that opened out onto a small porch that stood above yet another hedge maze. What little of the wallpaper he could see was a striped green, as green as the hair of the woman that rose to greet him.
"You got my letter! I'm so glad you've come." she said, extending a hand. "I am Lady Mion, Mistress of Mystery Manor."
"Lady Mion." Keiichi said, bowing over it and kissing the back of her palm. Lady Mion was a buxom, attractive woman wearing a frothy white tea dress, with large diamonds glittering at her throat and wrists.
"And this is my next-door neighbor, Mister Satoshi Hojo." Lady Mion said with a wave, indicating the blond gentleman standing beside her in a respectable houndstooth suit.
"Delighted to meet you, Mister Hojo." Keiichi said with another bow.
"Tea, my lady?" Rena asked.
"Thank you, Butler Rena." Lady Mion said with a dip of her head, and the butler bowed her way out of the room. Lady Mion then turned to Keiichi.
"Mysterious things are happening here at Mystery Manor, Detective Keiichi." she said, wringing her hands.
"Yes, I've noticed some mysterious things myself." Keiichi admitted, folding his hands behind his back.
"Have you noticed the mysterious echoy footsteps that sound like they're following you?" Satoshi asked.
"Yes, I've noticed that."
"And have you noticed mysterious, muffled figures hanging around?" Lady Mion asked, putting her hands on her hips and looking worried.
"Yes, but that's not all I've noticed." Keiichi said. "Eerie things are happening –this could be quite serious."
"Strange footsteps." Satoshi said with a shiver, chafing his arms.
"Yes, I've noticed them too."
"Did they echo in the gloom?" Lady Mion asked, casting a frightened glance out the windows.
"That's what they often do."
"Did they sneak along behind you, but nobody was there?" Satoshi asked.
Keiichi nodded to him. "Exactly old chap, gave me quite a scare!"
"Have you seen a dark figure, a lurking shape?" Lady Mion shivered, gesturing with both hands.
"Was the dark figure in a muffler and a cape?"
"Why, yes!" she gasped.
"Aha! I've seen it lurk as well."
"But why does it lurk!?" she cried, clutching desperately at the air.
"Alas, I couldn't tell!"
Lady Mion shuddered and turned away, draping herself over the fainting couch. "I hope some nasty culprit isn't listening in and hearing us." she murmured as Satoshi went to stand protectively at the head of the couch.
"There's yet another detail, mysterious to me." Keiichi noted, rubbing his chin. Satoshi blinked.
"More than what we've said?" he asked.
"Whatever could it be?" Mion gasped.
"I've been detecting, and now I can report: your butler, milady, is a very shifty sort!" Keiichi said, narrowing his eyes at her as Lady Mion touched a hand to her throat. "Her behavior is suspicious, mysterious, and more –I wouldn't be surprised if she were spying at this door!"
With that, he leapt across the room and jerked the door open –and sure enough, Rena sprawled onto the ground with a cry of surprise, no longer holding her lantern.
"Aha!" Keiichi cried.
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!" Satoshi swore as he and Lady Mion both rushed over.
"Butler Rena!" Lady Mion gasped, clutching both hands to her face.
"Tea, my lady?" Rena asked formally as she got to her feet and tucked her arms behind herself.
"Just as I thought. Butler Rena was spying on us." Keiichi said, remembering that she had already gone off to get tea, and that she had quite obviously not brought a tea tray with her when she "returned" this time. Any further confrontation was stopped, however, by a certain sound. "Aha! The doorbell."
"Who could it be?" Lady Mion frowned. "I'm not expecting anyone."
The library door opened before anyone could do anything else, and they all gasped, seeing a blue-haired woman in a prim lavender business suit and skirt, carrying a brown clutch purse.
"An unexpected visitor, my lady." Rena said, recovering herself and bowing the stranger into the room.
"I can see that." Lady Mion said as the stranger proceeded into the room.
"Tea, my lady?"
"Yes, definitely." Lady Mion sighed. "Tea."
"Hello," the stranger said with a courteous bob of her head, walking forward to join the others as Keiichi pulled out his magnifying glass and began to circle her. "I am Rika Furude, from London. I know that you did not expect me, but I had to come."
"But why?" Lady Mion asked.
"Because." Rika said, stepping past Keiichi to warm her hands at the fire. "I have information that a crime will be committed, here at Mystery Manor –this very evening."
"No!" Lady Mion gasped, holding a hand to her mouth.
"Yes." Rika said, unperturbed, before turning and pointing at the noble. "Someone is going to try and steal your jewels, Lady Mion!"
The other three all gasped, looking at the sparkling gems that lay over Mion's throat and wrists.
"My jewels!" she cried, cupping her necklace protectively.
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!" Satoshi added, eyes wide.
"Hmm…" Keiichi rubbed his chin suspiciously, before stepping forward to face Rika. "But how did you come by this information?"
Her eyes slid aside. "Well…"
The door creaked open.
"Tea, my lady." Butler Rena announced, holding a tea tray balanced on one hand. The room was suddenly plunged into darkness, and there was a scream and a crash and a scuffling of feet, then a loud crunch or thud, before the lights flicked on again. Keiichi, Rika, and Satoshi were all as they had been before –but Butler Rena was gone, and the tea service was lying in shattered pieces on the ground.
"My jewels!" Lady Mion gasped, touching her now-bare throat and wrists. "My jewels are gone!"
She swooned sideways into Satoshi's arms.
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!" he exclaimed, staring at the scattered pieces of fine china as he held Lady Mion's limp figure off the ground.
"The butler!" Keiichi cried, whipping out his magnifying glass. "Butler Rena is missing! She must have taken the jewels! After her!"
Keiichi and Rika both ran from the room, and Keiichi gasped and pointed at the front door, the familiar muffled figure standing silhouetted against the dim light of the cloudy sky as it ran out of the house.
"There she goes!"
But when the duo rushed over to stand on the threshold, the muffled figure was gone.
"I can't see her!" Rika groaned, peering through the mist.
"We've lost her." Keiichi sighed, shaking his head. They both jumped as there was a sudden pounding from inside the house, slamming the door shut and rushing back to the front hall as Satoshi and a groggy Lady Mion came rushing out of the library.
"Hey! Get me out of here!" came a muffled, frantic voice, as there was another barrage of pounding. Satoshi cautiously stepped over to a nearby closet, unlocking it quietly, before pulling it open with a jerk as a copper-haired figure toppled out.
"Aha!" Keiichi cried, whipping out his magnifying glass, then blinking. "Butler Rena?"
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!" Satoshi said, running a hand through his hair.
"Oh, for goodness sake." Lady Mion sighed, clutching a hand to her heart. "How did you get in there?"
"I'm not quite sure, my lady." Rena said, climbing to her feet and scratching her head. "I was bringing in the tea, when the lights went out. Then somebody knocked the tray out of my hands, and pushed me into the closet, and locked the door."
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!"
"How awful." Lady Mion crooned, stepping forward and patting her servant's hand. "Poor Butler Rena."
"Thank you, my lady." Rena said with a small smile.
"So, when the lights went out, someone pushed you into the closet?" Keiichi asked, rubbing his chin.
"And I was in there until you got me out." Rena said plaintively.
"That means she couldn't have been the mysterious figure we saw running down the path." Rika noted, trading glances with Keiichi.
"Then…someone else must have taken my jewels!" Lady Mion gasped.
"Yes, someone else…" Keiichi mused, continuing to rub his chin.
"Yes, well, I think I better be getting home." Satoshi said, abruptly.
"You're leaving?" Lady Mion asked.
"Now?" Rika asked.
"But we're right in the middle of a big mystery." Keiichi said, stepping over as Satoshi began hastily putting on his overcoat.
"I know, but…buuut I have to feed my cat." he said, winding his scarf around his neck.
"Your cat." Rika repeated flatly.
"I didn't know you had a cat." Lady Mion said, clasping her hands with delight.
"That's because I, uh, just got her, and she gets really, really hungry, so I have to go now." Satoshi said quickly, ducking out the front door, before ducking in again sheepishly. "But I'll come right back."
"Oh for goodness sake." Lady Mion sighed, then gestured. "Come, Miss Furude."
The women all moved back into the library as Keiichi frowned. Feed his cat? I think he's making that up: he just wanted to leave.
"I will bring tea, my lady." Rena was promising as Keiichi returned to the library, Rika Furude hovering comfortingly over Mion's elbow as she lay on the fainting couch once again.
"You know, Lady Mion, that next-door-neighbor of yours is a very mysterious fellow." Keiichi said.
"You mean, Mister Satoshi Hojo?" she gasped incredulously.
"Indeed. He said he had to feed his cat, but what if he took the jewels and is running away with them?" Keiichi suggested, holding out his hands. "But that's not all."
"Not all?" the two women asked fearfully.
"That's right. Because I noticed that you-" Keiichi swiveled to point at Rika Furude as she gulped and glanced from side to side nervously, advancing towards her across the room. "-Miss Rika Furude, you never told us how you knew someone was going to steal Lady Mion's jewels."
"Yeah. What's that about?" Lady Mion asked with a frown.
"Oh!" Rika said with a nervous smile. "Well-"
A sudden gasp and crash from the door made them all look, seeing a white-faced Rena pointing outwards at the window.
"AHHHH!" she screamed, and they all swerved to see a muffled and cloaked figure pressing its face up against the segmented glass.
"The mysterious figure!" Rika gasped as Lady Mion cried out and swooned again, drooping against the couch.
"After him!" Keiichi shouted, leaping forward and pointing at the figure, who quickly turned tail and ran down the steps. Keiichi and Rika pushed open the door and ran out onto the stone porch, stopping at the steps.
"I can't see him! We've lost him again!" Rika groaned, and Keiichi held out a hand.
"Wait. Listen."
Crunch. Crunch-crunch-crunch-crunch.
"Footsteps!" Rika whispered excitedly.
"We can follow them, c'mon!"
The two rushed down into the maze, starting to creep along as quietly as they could along the cold, soggy ground. The garden was foggy and gloomy, well-suited to bewildering the two searchers and allowing the fleeting phantom figure to escape: crunches seemed to come from every direction at once, and eventually the duo paused and huddled near one of the gaps in the hedge.
"Let's split up. You go that way, I'll go this way." Keiichi whispered to Rika, who nodded.
"And we'll trap him."
They split away from each other, each following the stealthy rustling noises as the villain tried to creep along through the hedge maze without alerting his pursuers. The jewel thief couldn't run for long: the hedge maze was a small one, with many dead ends, more decorative than functional as a maze.
Keiichi was the greatest detective in the world, quick and resilient, with a brilliant mystery-solving mind –it wasn't long enough before he saw a shadow looming along one of the gaps in the hedge wall as the stealthy crunches sounded very close to him indeed.
"AHA!" he cried, tackling the figure with a grunt as they stepped out into the open.
"Yikes!"
Keiichi found himself pulling a scarf away from Satoshi Hojo, who blinked at him from the ground.
"I've got you, Hojo!" he said, holding out a hand. "Now give me Lady Mion's jewels!"
"But I didn't take her jewels!" Satoshi protested, sitting up.
"Then what are you doing here?"
"Well, I said I'd come right back after I fed my cat." Satoshi said indignantly as Keiichi pulled him to his feet, wincing at the cold of the soggy ground. "I was going to come into the library, but Butler Rena started yelling! So I decided to go back home…but then you started chasing me!"
"Hmm…" Keiichi rubbed his chin. "Are you sure you didn't take the jewels?"
"Totally."
"Then who did?" Keiichi wondered aloud, and they both jumped as they heard more footsteps. Peeping over the top of the hedge, Keiichi and Satoshi saw a cloaked, muffled figure pushing open the door to the manor's back entrance, with another figure pausing, then drifting after it down the path.
"Two mysterious figures!" Keiichi gasped.
"Well, three if you count me." Satoshi pointed out wryly.
"They're going into Mystery Manor. After them, Hojo!" Keiichi cried, ignoring him. They both ducked around the last bit of the maze and ran up the path, opening the door quietly just in time to see the second mysterious figure turning the corner.
"Come, and be quiet." Keiichi murmured as he led Satoshi into the house. The two tiptoed down the hall, trying to be quick without being loud, and after turning the corner in time to see the figure enter another room, pushed open the door. They found themselves inside the front hall again, with the figure bent over something on the floor, shadowed by the falling light and the unlit lamps that Rena had apparently yet to tend to.
Satoshi silently picked up Rena's discarded kerosene lamp, still lit, as he and Keiichi quietly crept closer, before Keiichi pounced and ripped the muffler away, revealing a startled face as a long waterfall of dark blue hair spilled out over her shoulders.
"Miss Rika Furude?!" Keiichi gasped, then shook away his shock. "Now give me Lady Mion's jewels!"
"I bet they're in her purse!" Satoshi said angrily, pointing to the discarded clutch on the floor as Rika picked it up.
"I didn't take Lady Mion's jewels!" Rika cried, tearing herself away from Keiichi and pulling a badge out of her pocket. "Because I am –Policewoman Rika Furude!"
Keiichi and Satoshi both gasped.
"Policewoman Rika Furude?!" Keiichi exclaimed.
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!"
"I got a mysterious letter telling me that someone was going to take Lady Mion's jewels." Rika said, tucking her badge away and bringing out a creased letter instead.
"I got a letter too!" Keiichi gasped. "Mysterious…very mysterious."
"I came at once," Rika continued, tucking the letter back into her purse. "But someone took the jewels anyway!"
"But how did you get here?" Keiichi asked, raising his brow.
"Well, when we split up in the garden, I saw the mysterious figure hiding in the bushes." she explained. "I followed it into the house, but when I got here to the hall, it was gone. And then, I saw this!"
She pointed to the floor, where there was just enough light to see the outline of muddy footprints on the wooden boards.
"Aha! Bring the light closer, Hojo." Keiichi said, whipping out his magnifying glass.
"Footprints!" Satoshi exclaimed as he peered closer, noticing the same thing that the two officials had. Those footprints curved, leading but not retreating as they paced all the way to the door of the library. There were no other marks on the floor, not leading to any of the other rooms.
"That means the mysterious figure is in the house." Keiichi cried. "We must follow the footprints, and hurry!"
They rushed into the library, pushing open the door to see a Lady Mion that had recovered from her swoon, and was now sleeping peacefully on the fainting couch, snuffling a little as she breathed in and out. The footprints circled around the back of the fainting couch, not turning in the slightest as they passed the glass windows –and then stopped.
"The footprints lead right into the wall!" Rika gasped.
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!"
"Mysterious, very mysterious…" Keiichi mused as they wall walked closer to the wall and the bookshelf braced against it.
"But this is impossible." Rika scoffed, putting both hands on her hips. "He can't have walked right into the wall."
"Old houses can be very mysterious." Keiichi said, running his hands along the bookshelf. "Sometimes, one might have…hmm, yes…"
He pulled a book outwards, and the entire shelf swung forward with a click, revealing a small, tight, featureless stone hallway.
"-a secret passage!" Keiichi declared triumphantly.
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!" Satoshi cried, turning white. Keiichi patted his shoulder.
"Mister Hojo, stay with Lady Mion, if you please." he said, then turned to Rika. "Come, Policewoman Furude! We're going to find out whodunit!"
Rika took the lantern from Satoshi, before she and Keiichi both moved forward into the passage. Satoshi gratefully retreated to the fainting couch with Lady Mion as he watched them vanish into the wall.
"We'll finally see who the scoundrel could be." Rika said, rubbing her hands as they crept along. "Whoever stole the jewels and snuck away, the answer's at the end of this passageway."
"This passageway, leading who knows where." Keiichi noted as they turned a corner, finding yet another small, tight hallway –there was practically a second manor of passageways in the walls, although they all led, invariably, to a room with a faint light flickering inside. "One thing I'm sure, the villain's in there."
Keiichi and Rika both peered around the doorway, seeing a glittering pile of gems on a small round table, and a cloaked and muffled figure with copper hair presiding over it all.
"Its him!" Rika whispered excitedly. "And the jewels!"
"Aha!" Keiichi cried, leaping into the room and pointing. The thief gasped and snatched up the jewels, scurrying out through another door. "After him, Policewoman Rika! The nasty muffled bandit, whose footsteps hollowly tap –he's in the secret hallway, we've almost got him trapped!"
They both rushed after the figure, whose clattering footsteps seemed even louder as he led them throughout the manor, rushing, rushing, always rushing, but for once there was little mystery, as there were no more side-hallways or turns: just a straight shot, trying to outrun each other.
"Who is that evil bloke in a muffler and a cloak?" Rika panted as they ran through the rushing stone passage. "First the footsteps and the figure in the night, then the lights went out and the jewelry got swiped…"
"Then the chase through the garden and the door and the wall, but now we're apprehending the one whodunit all." Keiichi agreed, grinning as he pointed to a grey panel in the stone wall. "We'll wonder no more, for the evil one whodunit is right behind this door."
Keiichi pushed it open, and Rika held up the lantern.
"Where are we?" she wondered aloud, looking around at the shapes looming around them.
"We're inside the hall closet!" Keiichi realized, remembering its peculiar size and depth, before his gaze fastened on the figure frantically scrabbling at the other door, the one that led into the front hall. "And there he is!"
"Wait, no! Stop! Ah! AH!" the figure cried as they both tackled him, spilling out into the front hall as a startled Lady Mion and Satoshi rushed over.
"I've got you!" Keiichi cried, wrenching the muffler away, and they all gasped loudly. "Butler Rena!"
"Butler Rena?!" Rika echoed.
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!"
"Why did you take Lady Mion's jewels, Butler Rena?" Keiichi asked, shoving his face into hers.
"But I didn't take them!" Rena protested.
"We saw you!" Rika scoffed, pointing. "They're right there in your pocket."
"Well, yes, I have them." Rena admitted as she got to her feet, before turning and bowing. "But I didn't take them. Lady Mion gave them to me."
"What?!" Keiichi gasped as Rena held the jewelry out to her mistress, who took it with absolutely no sign of surprise. "Lady Mion gave them to you!?"
"How could that be?!" Rika cried.
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!"
"But why?" Keiichi asked as Lady Mion finished fastening her bracelets back on.
"Well, it was a very misty, gloomy day." Lady Mion said with a sigh, stepping forward. "My dear friend, Butler Rena, and I were sitting around the manor with nothing to do."
She scowled.
"Butler Rena had already brought me tea two or three times, and…we were kind of bored. So we thought, we'd invite you all over for a nice mystery." Lady Mion spread her hands with a pleased smile. "We wrote you letters, and you came –and then Rena pretended to take my jewels. And we'd all get to look for them, all over the manor!"
There was a moment of silence.
"What a great idea!" Keiichi finally exclaimed, swinging his fist with a grin.
"Nothing like a mystery on a misty, gloomy day." Rika agreed, smiling.
"Great Hanyuu's Ghost!" Satoshi cried enthusiastically.
The group then retired to the library to take tea once again from Rena, only this time without any shenanigans or dropped tea trays.
Refined readers will note that this is literally just the plot of the Backyardigans episode "Whodunnit." RIP to anyone who thought the story would ever have anything to do with Umineko and kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.
10.03 AM, USA Central Time