"Now, I know it should be obvious, but let's just say we got ice cream," Weiss says, adjusting her hair. She sets it back into a proper ponytail as you, her, and Blake step around a corner.
"Then Ruby will complain we didn't bring her along," Blake replies. Sensing the obvious question, she prematurely states, "I don't think she really cares about being a third… fourth wheel if it involves sugar."
"Well, then we say we didn't ask her to come because she's been eating too many sweets."
"That's rich coming from you." Blake giggles. "Ha, that works three ways: it's rich, you're rich, and the fancy chocolate you special order is rich. I'm truly a genius." Her tone acknowledges the Yang-ness of her pun.
"And that's why we like you," you joke. You look at Blake's skirt and follow up, "Puns and buns!" Blake smirks and gives her butt a light smack.
"Yang IS rubbing off on us."
"Not the worst thing in the world."
"Oh, by the way," Weiss says. "She told us you saw her the other day before class. Something about breakfast?"
You think back to this Monday when classes resumed after the break. You found Yang in the kitchen, singing and cooking for her team. "Yeah, I couldn't sleep and found her making you guys lunches to distract you from classes starting again. We sat for a bit and she gave me the extra stuff." Hoping Weiss isn't angry at you for not mentioning this, you cover with, "It was super early, so I fell asleep in class and forgot to mention it."
"She did say you looked like you were about to pass out."
"Yeah, I was ready to tip over. Only reason I went into the kitchen was to eat something in the hopes it'd give me SOME energy. I probably would have fallen asleep at the table if Yang didn't give me some rice."
"Well THAT'S not usually how Yang keeps things lively," Blake jokes. "Usually it's the miniskirt and the flirty attitude. Those have gotten me through at least one lecture."
"If you must know, she was wearing pajamas." You immediately add, "like, the comfy sunflower ones, not the, 'a bit too short to wear around someone dating my partner,' problem you had with your robe way back when when we first went to the apartment." You also consider how different Yang was in the morning; she lacked her normal flirtatious attitude and penchant for dick jokes. "And she was a lot more down-to-earth than usual. Not once did she offer to cook naked for me."
"I'm willing to accept that as a sign of her growth." Blake's eyes wander off into the air. "Though, now I have to think about Yang cooking naked."
"DEFINITELY not the worst thing in the world."
"Definitely not the worst thing in the world," Blake repeats. "Great, now I'm horny again." Knowing the answer, she turns to look at Weiss and playfully says, "We could always go back to the room and keep it going a little longer~"
"I'm more than done for the day. I'm not sure my body can take more," Weiss replies, her legs wobbling. "Plus we already said we'd be back. Yang would get suspicious."
"Great, now I'll just have to SUFFER. Thinking about an attractive woman NAKED. Truly, I have been CURSED."
Weiss checks around to ensure nobody else is near. "You already saw me naked fifteen minutes ago!"
"You should know by now, I'm greedy." Blake lets out a hearty laugh. "Pretty related to that, before we continue, do any of us look like we just had sex?"
The three of you stop and inspect each other. You looked normal, Weiss pulls out a mirror and checks her hair, and Blake adjusts her blouse and reties her bow. You all agree that everything looked as it normally would.
"Great! Now no one will know!" Weiss says, triumphantly rounding the corner to RWBY's dorm room hall.
"Know what?" Jaunt says, suddenly in front of Weiss. Your girlfriend nearly runs into his gangly, much taller body, her face nearly hitting his chest. She jumps about a foot in the air before recollecting herself.
Pyrrha stifles a chuckle at Weiss' outburst. "Well, judging from that reaction, I don't think we're privy to know." She smiles and waves. "Hello again!"
You grab Weiss' shoulder to calm her and say, "Hello." Weiss nods. Blake nods, asking sure to include Jaune.
"Where were you three?" Jaune asks, blissfully unaware and not reading the context clues Weiss was throwing at him.
"Why!?" Weiss asks, totally not suspicious at all.
"What she means is," Blake says, covering all of your asses, "We just wanted to ask Ilia about something."
"Oh, you know the new girl?" Pyrrha asks. That's right… She wouldn't know anything about Blake knowing Ilia; it's not as if every conversation starts with her saying she's from the White Fang. Plus, that might reveal that Blake's a Faunus. You never actually thought to ask if JNPR knew her secret. Best not to let it slip.
"Short version, complicated," Blake says, brushing off Pyrrha's question.
"I'd love to hear about it!"
"Some other time. I'm leaving for something in a few minutes."
"I'll be sure to ask her about it! She's rather quiet so far."
In the lull of the conversation, you notice Jaune. Thankfully, he seems to have gotten over his crush on Weiss; a few weeks ago, and his eyes couldn't have been pried off of her, but now that he's taken, he seems happy to smile at Pyrrha and face whoever is talking. Good for him. Good for you. Actually, it was your fault, at least partially; you did orchestrate the hilariously cliche events that led to Jaune and Pyrrha dating. Knocking him into her cleavage set the stage for them to hook up. Thankfully, that also means he isn't trying to hook up with Weiss.
You're in a good mood. Sex with two girls would do that to a man. For whatever reason, you kind of want to help out a fellow man, or at less maybe set the stage for the next act, so to speak. It'll be up to Jaune to interpret the signals you give but might as well give it a shot. He can have a reward for moving past Weiss.
"Yeah, Ilia will be happy to chat," you say, your suspicious tone lost on Jaune and Pyrrha. Blake looks a bit curious but says nothing. "I… met her a few weeks ago, too." You neglect to mention the fact that Ilia stabbed you. "We just wanted to see how she's doing. You know she's all alone?" You put it in the back of your mind that you need to clarify who knows what about Blake being a Faunus. Surely she told Ilia to keep that quiet, but best to make sure; it'd be hard for Pyrrha to talk about how they know each other without letting it slip that Blake was White Fang.
"Yes. It's terrible, really. I'd hate to be all alone in a new school." Pyrrha looks a bit somberly at the ground. "I'll make more of an effort to talk with her."
"She says it's fine. She's making friends, at least. And one benefit is that she's ALL alone. All the other rooms in her hall are empty." Whereas Blake raised an eyebrow at this fact upon learning it, Pyrrha and Jaune didn't quite understand the signs. "I'd kill for a bit of privacy. Seriously, all of those rooms are completely empty, plus it's on the other side of campus, so it's quiet. We just passed by, and it was SILENT."
"I suppose that does sound nice…" Pyrrha thinks for a moment. "Nora CAN be a bit of a handful sometimes, after all."
"Yeah, I'd read ALL my comic books in peace!" Jaune says, way too enthusiastic for such a small goal.
"Surely you can think of better things to do than that, right?" Blake says, laughing. "We have a library, you know." It seems she's picked up on what you were trying to do and approves. "I'm sure some privacy would be nice for a couple." She looks at Jaune and Pyrrha, then you and Weiss, adding a knowing smile. Weiss, a bit bamboozled, says nothing. Pyrrha seems to grasp it and blushes, though it goes over Jaune's head.
Seeing as neither Jaune nor Pyrrha could see the true reason you were telling them about the empty rooms, you think a little action might be necessary. Deciding to make your intent clear, you help Jaune out once again; Pyrrha wasn't paying attention to Jaune's hands, so you use your Semblance to do a bit of flirting for him. It's okay, he'll forgive you.
"Oh!" Pyrrha says, jumping up with a start. Quickly turning red, she looks back and unintentionally places a hand on her butt, where, "Jaune," just squeezed her. She looks down at Jaune's hand which was in a position where it wasn't impossible for him to have grabbed her ass and naturally assigns blame. Jaune's casual face also could be interpreted as someone covering for something, so Pyrrha got to believe that Jaune got a little handsy. Judging from her face and the fact that she looks like she's processing something and turning redder, she's beginning to understand what you were hinting at with the empty rooms. She's into it, so you don't feel THAT bad for sorta-grabbing her butt. It's for her benefit, too, after all.
"Pyrrha?" Jaune asks, wondering what caused her to jump.
"Oh, n-nothing!" Pyrrha replies, waving her hand in front of her reddening face. Her mind looks like it was elsewhere, probably because she's now connecting, "empty rooms," and, "Jaune grabbed my butt." She suddenly gets a wide smile on her face, under the assumption that her boyfriend just did something daring and sexual in front of her friends. "Just… wondering about something." You figure she's making the same connections you did when Ilia told you about the empty hallway; if she got up the nerve, she and Jaune could make some progress in their relationship, and lord knows Pyrrha could use the stress relief.
"Oh, okay."
Pyrrha suddenly blindsides Jaune with a kiss on the cheek. You and Blake share a glance while Weiss gags. Jaune, confused, accepts it and scratches the back of his head. "Well, then. I think we should probably get going."
"I agree~" Pyrrha says in an uncharacteristically flirty tone. Forgetting you, Weiss, and Blake exist, they wander off past you. You see Jaune try to hold Pyrrha's hand, but she instead wraps her arms around his, enjoying her new rest on his shoulder.
"Do you want to explain to me what just happened?" Weiss asks, still wrenching from seeing Jaune kiss.
"Well, if all goes to plan, you'll never have to worry about Jaune caring about you again. I pushed Pyrrha in the right direction, though it's up to her to follow up."
"That explains painfully little."
"Oh, Weiss, dear," Blake jokes. "We laid out that they can find an empty room and get it on, just like we did."
"Gross."
"Hey now, Pyrrha's nice! And Jaune's better now that he's not into you."
"Yet the scars still remain. And NOW I have the image of him having sex in my head. Please, talk about Yang cooking some more."
You and Blake laugh. She heads you off by saying, "I bet you she'd wear just an apron. You walk in the door and she's all like, 'Would you like dinner? A bath? Or ME?' and she'd be all sexy about it."
"Much better," Weiss says, enjoying the mental image of Yang. It's almost impressive how much she dislikes Jaune, considering she found Yang annoying a lot of the time. You're surprised she's attracted to her at all, honestly, but then again, it IS Yang. "Be honest, you've fantasized about that, haven't you? That was rather specific."
"I did tell you; heat makes me fantasize about EVERYONE, at least if I'm even remotely attracted to them. Of course, I imagine you would picture Yang with like, a cake or something. In my heat-frenzy, she had just finished preparing a huge salmon."
"Wait did you want to have sex with her or eat the salmon?"
Blake's bow sags as she gets a bit grumpy. "Look, I was barely in control at that point. I probably would have done both at the same time should my dreams become reality. Nothing sexier than eating out while you're getting eaten out."
"And we're at a point where I want the conversation to stop." Weiss covers her mouth to stop a gag, pretty grossed out by Blake's phrasing. "I never expect you of all people to be so… crude about these things."
"And I never expected you to be into chicks, into threesomes and into getting railed so hard you can't stand afterward." Blake looks smugly at Weiss. Knowing she's right, Weiss stays quiet.
You realize that, in between all the sex talk, you've been standing outside RWBY's dorm for several minutes and relay this fact to Blake and Weiss. Jaune and Pyrrha had distracted you from what you were doing, and you joking about attractive women cooking in just the kitchenware kept you from remembering. Weiss, thankful for the opportunity to leave the sexual fantasy talk, gets her key and opens the door to her dorm.
The three of you walk into to some rock music blaring, along with something you didn't expect to ever see.
Something was pretty wrong. Something definitely wasn't normal, and anyone with eyes could see exactly why. It had everything to do with Ruby, as she was the cause of the critical disturbance.
You, Weiss, and Blake stare in stunned silence, looking at Ruby in her underwear.