1
—
Kahlan —
KAHLAN —
e…
With a jolt, Kahlan's eyes burst open. In her first moments of rebirth she was screaming. Cara held her tightly, the reaction a surprise to her. Most people that she brought back to life who cried out this loud were ones she was in the middle of torturing. Cara held Kahlan's face and comforted her.
"I'm right here, I'm right here. It's me, Kahlan. It's me."
Kahlan looked at her like a wild animal before her hand found Cara's and squeezed. "I was…"
"Dead, for a moment. I brought you back," Cara managed, her voice feeling hoarse from overuse. "I brought you back." Kahlan could feel that Cara was pressing her slightly into her soft breasts.
"Dear one," Zedd said, tears welling up in his eyes as he pushed back hair from her face. He couldn't manage anything else.
"Darken Rahl was torturing me. For weeks. But I didn't tell him anything. He wants to know where we're taking the Stone," Kahlan told them. "I don't know how he found out about the Stone and not the Pillars, but his spies are everywhere."
"There's only one person who knew about the Stone's location, even before we got to it," Zedd interrupted. Cara wore a scowl that would burn down a city. "It seems that getting rid of a Rahl is harder than we anticipated."
"It doesn't matter. We need to get to the Pillars, and fast," Kahlan coughed, sitting up in the sand and dusting herself off. "We need to make sure we are there… or else this will have all been for nothing."
Cara nodded. Kahlan was strong, almost like a Mord-Sith. Maybe even more. She could do anything. As Kahlan stood up, Cara was in awe of her. The way her white dress billowed in the wind, catching the light as the sun set behind her. She stumbled as she rose from the ground, but she moved forward anyway.
"Cara. Zedd. let's move," she said, and Cara was all too happy to get up from her prone position. Cara felt like she should follow Kahlan to the ends of the earth.
It was another day of hard journeying. They had been moving with the greatest speed possible for the last week. The Summer Solstice was close, but with good weather and avoiding Banelings at all costs, they would make it there with a day or so to spare.
"Cara… we need to stop. We're going too fast," Kahlan begged, holding onto her horse for dear life. "It's been all day. Zedd needs to rest. I need to rest."
"We have to keep going, we don't have time," Cara replied coldly, not turning back to look at Kahlan. With a sigh, Kahlan spurred her horse on and pushed on in front of Cara's steed, forcing her to pull the reins and stop on the path.
"We're going to stop, Cara. We need to bathe, we need to eat, and we need to sleep. Don't even think about arguing," Kahlan shouted decidedly. "Give yourself a break."
Cara was shocked. Never had anyone stood up to her like this. She thought back to that day in the Drowning Cave, with Kahlan's hand around her neck as a threat. Cara nodded, looking into the woods at the edge of the desert area.
"We should at least make it to the forest, we don't want to camp out in the open sand," Cara protested. Kahlan nodded, knowing that was the smartest decision.
When they got to camp, Cara tied up the horses and went to chop wood for the fire. She said barely a word to Kahlan, too deep in her thoughts to worry about talking. Kahlan's death had shaken her sense of stability. Never had Cara felt this way about someone dying, not even her own parents. She had twisted her agiel into her mother's stomach and not felt even a quarter of the agony and dread that ripped through her as Kahlan had laid lifeless in the sand. The closing of a door, the ending of an era, the locking of a heart.
Cara found a sizable tree and got to work. She took the hatchet in her hands and felt the heat in her grasp. With all the rage she could muster, Cara swung hard and hit the trunk with a satisfying, deep sound. Pull back, swing. Pull back, swing. She lost track of time as the tree went down. As she harvested wood for the fire to warm Kahlan and Zedd. As she provided something meaningful for the group. Cara was drenched in sweat, leathers sticking to her hard form. Nothing physical mattered, pain and exhaustion were in the mind. All pain was in the mind. It was getting dark by the time she returned, dropping the wood by the edge of the firepit Zedd had formed. Wordlessly, she set up a small fire, let Zedd ignite it, and walked over to her horse.
"I'm going to find water," Cara said quietly, not bothering to wait for a companion. She wasn't even sure that she would find a water source but that didn't quite matter to her at this point. What did matter to her was far too terrifying to put into words.
Perhaps by the grace of something greater than herself, Cara came upon a quiet stream with a small wading pool below it. The rocks encircled the pool as if they were trying to hide it, but Cara was an excellent tracker. Cara made sure no one else was around and then began the work of filling up their water hides. For the first time in weeks, Cara felt safe. Her guard was up, as it always was, but not in the same way as before. The placid water allowed her mind to wander. Cara decided that it was time for a bath, to further follow this trail of relief, so she peeled off her leathers and dove into the pool. It felt like the bathhouse at the Temple, where she would luxuriate with warm oils and soothing, hot water. When she used to feel beautiful, even if just for a moment, before returning to the hell that was her purpose.
"You always find what we need, Cara," called a voice, which she knew belonged to the Confessor without needing to turn around. "You could find us a smooth pebble in the dead of night."
"I love to be at your disposal," Cara said flatly, sinking into the water until it covered her collarbone. She watched as Kahlan sat on the edge of the pool and stared directly at her. There was no avoiding the gaze of a Confessor, so Cara barely even tried to shrink.
"About… this morning," Kahlan began, her hand trailing back and forth through the water in front of her. "You made love to both of them? Why?"
"That's the question you want to ask right now?" Cara snapped. "Nothing else?"
"Humor me, Cara. I don't want to talk about that just yet," Kahlan murmured, which softened Cara's approach. She needed a distraction.
"Why not? I seized an opportunity," Cara answered, cupping her hand in the water and pouring it over her shoulder.
"Do you seize that opportunity often, or was it a one time experience?"
Cara looked at Kahlan slyly. "It depends. I often find opportunities, or rather they seem to find me." There was silence between them for a pregnant moment. "Have you ever had something like that? You looked uncomfortable, but you didn't leave quickly."
"No, never. If I were to do that, I would confess the person. It's never been worth it."
"You've never been touched?" Cara was appalled. "Kissed?"
"Kissed, of course. Touched… when I was possessed by the ghost of the Confessor to the Seeker before me," Kahlan admitted. Cara didn't know if she was serious or not, but she figured that it may take awhile to get that story. "But not in a real way."
"Richard?" Cara asked. Kahlan nodded.
"It's always Richard," Kahlan told her. "It's only been Richard." Something about that statement felt hollow. It didn't have the glow it once did.
"What if there was an opportunity?" Cara asked, slowly rising out of the water. Kahlan couldn't stop herself, the electricity seemed to dance on Cara's wet skin as she moved closer. "Would you take it? Force yourself to be restrained just for the pleasure of it?"
"I… Cara…" Kahlan stammered.
"When I look at you, all I feel is need. I've never felt this compelled to simply be near someone," Cara said slowly, her eyes locking with Kahlan's. For a moment, it seemed as though the confession was exactly what Kahlan didn't want to hear.
"I feel it too," Kahlan answered. This didn't feel like a grand entrance, and it didn't come as a shock. Cara's confession was like the sunlight coming through the trees. The whisper of Richard was in the back of her mind, but the scream of CARA was even harder to ignore. Kahlan wanted to feel something after returning from the brink of death. She wanted to feel as real and alive as her body would allow. To be open and new. This hunger they had for each other was not new, it was as old as the first time they laid eyes on each other. To name a hunger like this took time, to harness it without ripping each other apart took even more time. It was always the person beside you, that you might overlook, who could be everything to you.
"Just let me," Cara murmured. She cupped Kahlan's face and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Instantly, Kahlan could feel something within Cara pressing down on her. It felt as if Cara was scooping something up from the bottom of her and pulling it out. She felt clean.
Kahlan placed her hand on the back of Cara's head and deepened the kiss, her body was a star in the sky. Cara's wet hair smelled of wet earth and the night air. Kahan wrapped her fingers in it as if to coat her hand in the scent. All she wanted, all she needed, was this closeness. Their quickly dissipating boundaries found Kahlan excited, and it was difficult to stop herself from closing even more distance between herself and the Mord-Sith. The thought of her Confessor power tearing Cara to shreds stopped her for a moment. They pulled away and pressed their foreheads together, Cara holding onto Kahlan's shoulders.
"I can't believe we just did that," Cara said breathily. "I never imagined us."
"Neither did I."
"Are you all right?"
"I think so."
"How do you feel?"
"Embraced."
Cara smiled and kissed Kahlan again, this time softer, less expedient. There was no rush when you knew she shared the same feelings. There was no reason to hurry when love had already arrived. Cara's hand traveled to Kahlan's back and noticed something soft, yet scarred.
"What's this?" Cara asked, pulling Kahlan forward to see a large hand on her shoulder.
"What?" Kahlan asked, confused by the sudden change of pace. "What is it?"
"It's… the mark of the Keeper," Cara managed. Reality set in. They were not ordinary women, basking in the glow of each other's bodies. They were Kahlan Amnell, the Mother Confessor, and Cara Mason, exiled Mord-Sith, who were both carefully transporting the most important little trinket across the world to save humankind. They had no space with which to enjoy each other that was not taken up by some present, evil purpose. The Mark of the Keeper now loomed over them like a cloud, the reality that Kahlan had gone to the Underworld rested on their shoulders once more.
Kahlan said nothing, instead simply pulled Cara's arms around her and nestled into her bare shoulder. The warmth of her skin did nothing to help the hollow feeling that life would never be the same.
2
Kahlan stood watch as the night air whistled through the trees. There wasn't the usual twittering of birds like in the New World, nor was there the sounds of wolves howling in the distance. In the desert of the Old World, all Kahlan could hear was her own thoughts. She was burdened and enlightened by her evening with Cara, who was conveniently asleep no less than five feet from her. Kahlan watched as Cara mumbled in her sleep, unconsciously turned her back to the dead fire, then gave a great sigh.
She had once stared at Richard in the same way, envisioning a life together where she could love him without enslaving him. The last Confessor and the Seeker of Truth casting their bets on an ordinary relationship. One filled with a little cottage, and children, and perhaps even a few chickens. Anything but racing around the world in search of problems.
There was a cold, green glow on the horizon. It was too early for the sun to pull itself over the sand dunes, something was wrong. Kahlan stood up and watched as the glow became brighter, reflecting off the sand and illuminating its surroundings.
"Zedd, Zedd," Kahlan whispered, shaking the wizard awake. "Look."
"What's… oh no," Zedd mumbled, sitting up immediately as the green light came closer. Cracks in the earth headed right toward them. "He knows."
"Can you please shut up, I'm trying to sleep," Cara huffed.
"Cara, we need to go," Kahlan cried out, and the Mord-Sith jolted out of sleep. Her eyes went to Cara's backpack, placed on a rock a few paces away from their bedrolls.
"It's coming toward us," Zedd shouted, scrambling to his feet as the green cracks in the earth rumbled toward them. Out from the light came Shadow People, menacing and grotesque as they dove for Zedd and Kahlan. Zedd shot a stream of Wizard's Fire, then another, and another. Cara was on her feet, she and Kahlan locked eyes before looking at where the crack was headed.
"The Stone," Cara said. In an instant, she turned on her heels and broke into a dead run toward the rock. Everything in her said hurry, said you're running out of time.
Faster.
Faster.
FASTER.
Cara's expertly trained muscles knew exactly what to do as she dove for the backpack. As she did, the Keeper opened a chasm between Cara and her companions. Cara hugged the pack to her chest as her mind raced with options.
"Cara, wait—" Kahlan shouted and put a hand up to stop the Mord-Sith. But it was too late, Cara ran forward and launched herself over the widening wound in the ground, as sand poured down into the Underworld. Her arms propelled the pack forward, landing the Stone of Tears in Zedd's arms as she began to fall. Cara saw the Shadow People move through her, and all she could see was that Zedd had the pack. The world was safe. Kahlan would be okay.
Cara closed her eyes, content with dying a warrior. But she stopped moving, no longer falling through the crack to the Underworld to meet her fate. Surely, she would have to atone for several hundred years, for all the lives she had ruined, for all the pain she had caused. It was a good thing the pain would surely be delicious.
"Cara, get up!" Kahlan shouted. Cara looked up and saw the Confessor had grabbed hold of her, disallowing her the honor of dying for the cause. Her heart sped up, realizing she still had life within her, and panicked.
"Let me go," Cara cried, looking down at the deep pit of writing bodies below. "You have the Stone, let me go."
"Absolutely," Kahlan strained, grunting as she began to pull up Cara by the arm. "Not." Kahlan reached out her other hand, which Cara grappled onto. The Mord-Sith was not heavy, but their hands became sweaty and Kahlan was losing grip. With one last test of strength, Kahlan lifted Cara enough for her to pull herself up and out of the hellish gash in the earth. Cara landed on her back and took one of the most satisfying breaths of her life.
"It seems to have stopped," Zedd said curiously, still clutching Cara's pack. "Convenient."
"The Keeper must not want to really kill us. I suppose he wants a show," Kahlan said sarcastically. "Cara, are you all right?"
Cara locked eyes with Kahlan and, without thinking, dove into her arms. Tears welled up in her eyes and she began to cry, soaking the shoulder of Kahlan's shirt with a few drops of panic.
"You almost died," Kahlan whispered.
"You saved me," Cara replied. "You're always saving me."
"You have every right to be saved. You're worth fighting for," Kahlan told her. There had always been a tenderness between them; when Kahlan found Cara shell-shocked in the woods, when she was injured in D'Hara, when Kahlan had died and come back. Saying such things to Cara felt as natural as breathing. Zedd watched on in silence as the two women embraced each other, at once thinking of them, and then of his grandson.
"The Keeper obviously knows we are here. We need to keep moving," Zedd interrupted, which forced Kahlan and Cara to peel away from each other. "We can't stop anymore."
"What's to stop the Keeper from doing that once we reach the Pillars?" Kahlan asked, pulling Cara up from the ground and being careful to step away from the bleeding, green hole.
"Let's hope the Creator blessed the area. If not… there is no if. We must hope. That's what Richard would do," Zedd told her. The three companions composed themselves, hoisted their packs onto their backs, and headed in the direction of salvation.