Smoke Me

by HotchocolateBreak

Namjoon has been in love with Jungkook ever since they were little even though they rarely ever talked to each other. Now they're still in the same class, in the same school, but they only interact when Jungkook gets weed from Namjoon in the school bathroom. Will Namjoon make Jungkook see him more than his dealer?

41. Alien

p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"After I was able to stand up without feeling like gravity was punishing me for past decisions, I had finally managed to leave the dorm room without Jimin's help./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Greeted the new classmates with a real enough smile. Faced the teachers who have never heard my name with what I had hoped was believable remorse. Made a trip to the campus store by myself after the last class finally reached its inevitable but beautiful end./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Went back to the dorm room and had a beer. Two beers. Three and then at some point. Lost count and fell asleep./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Repeated to do the same thing for the following two weeks./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And then I saw Jungkook walking next to V first thing in the morning. Smiling and chatting away./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I saw red./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"So, I turned on my heel and skipped class. Convinced Jimin it was a health-related issue and not an emotional one that made me leave him alone for the rest of the day, only to secretly go on a drunk expedition to find whiskey or vodka outside the university's gates. Since the small store inside the campus didn't sell it and I had built an annoying tolerance for anything that had only 5 percent alcohol. Succeeded in finding the biggest market I've ever seen after walking for two hours because there wasn't any other store on the way, but because I just couldn't stop walking./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Drank some on the way back and most on the floor next to my bed. Collapsed in the communal bathroom and was carried back by a kind stranger after I've recalled the room number which took two embarrassing, unwelcome intrusions into the rooms next to the right one./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Since that eye-opening day, I used the long way to that store to motivate me to jog again. Started eating a lot of meat and good carbohydrates to gain muscle. Yet continued to buy strong liquor from that store for two-whole months, despite eating healthily and exercising unhealthily./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"It started with two hours a day and then I would only stop when my body wouldn't let me get up or the room wouldn't stop spinning. The silver lining was that I looked stronger on the outside. Even though I felt sick on the inside./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Started paying a classmate religiously, so I could copy all the material he had or got from anyone else. And attended class sparingly after I figured out exactly how much one could skip and how much I had to study to obtain grades that would be high enough to keep my scholarship./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"For a while, it turned out to be a bulletproof plan. My body was busy with exercise and my mind was busy with retaining information until the liquor made it all blurry./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"However, on one sunny day, I went back to my room and threw the books on the floor one by one after I've attended the only class that day. The class that all literature majors had to attend. The one Jungkook also took. And he didn't even look my way. Something that I thought I was used to by now. But for some reason I couldn't logically find, that day in particular... it bothered me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Therefore, I packed all my frustration and went to bed after jogging until the sun went down, and yet, couldn't fall asleep or find it in me to do anything but stare at the ceiling. That's when Jimin came stumbling inside the darkroom with a guy. They drunkenly giggled and kissed on his bed for about half an hour. Then the bed started making squawking sounds for about fifteen minutes. And then it stopped./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"My vision went red again./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I walked out without saying one word and when Jimin asked me why I wouldn't sleep there anymore, I'd change the subject. Days escaped through my fingers as I got drunk and slept in Malek's bed. But Malek didn't seem to be feeling as comfortable as I was in my new room./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I suspected it was mainly because he's been sleeping on blankets stacked on top of each other on the floor. And that was one of the many reasons he was complaining constantly./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Who feels like doing pushups when they're drunk? I mean, it makes no sense! Don't you feel like…sitting down?! You freak of nature." Malek judged me without any real ill intent or without tearing his eyes away from the computer screen./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"On the fifth day, though, I was told that I will either him with his homework or he will kick me out since I had to make the bitching that he got from his roommate worth the trouble. That's what the most sedentary guy I've ever met thought he could do to me. I had a good laugh from it and let him believe that for four more days./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"It was only after I did humor him and he realized that unless he also got smashed, my explications would not make much sense that he called Jimin to come get me. For some reason, it felt like someone was calling my mother. Well, a better mother than I've ever had./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"One whom crossed his arms and had the patience to repeat the same words over and over again without losing his temper./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Come with me." Jimin requested for the tenth style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"No," I style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Malek, grab him."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"No." He said./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Jimin hung his head and shook it. And then talked softly without looking up./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""If I promise I'll never bring anyone in our room ever again. Will you please come back?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /Malek jumped from the gaming chair, fuming./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""You scored already?! Jimin, if you knew girls then why did you never introduce me to…"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I interrupted Malek's attempt to get Bambi the unpaid job of being the worst wingman./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Are you in a relationship with him now?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /Malek sat back down slowly. Mouth ajar./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""No. It was a one-time thing, Namjoon. And next time, I'll go to the other person's room. Ok?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Fine."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I followed Jimin until we were almost out of the room when I turned to look at a Malek that was far too shocked by what he had learned to blink or acknowledge my existence./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Wait." I told Jimin./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Wait for what? Namjoon, come on! I'll keep my word. You know that I…"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I took one of Malek's post-its, wrote a em style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;"'thanks for your bed' /emon it, and stuck it to his forehead. He didn't move after that either./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"There was something that Jimin had that I wasn't sure Malek had, which was some sort of weird loyalty towards me. Since he's been keeping his word since day one./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And it freaked me to no end./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"He either made sure he talked to Jungkook or was near him daily. He also told me everything that he swore to Jungkook that he won't narrate back to me. He's also told him that we don't talk much. Because I was a 'bad person'. And I couldn't blame Jungkook for believing him./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"But I could blame him for interacting with everyone who had any kind of drug. From going to the smallest gathering of a few degenerates to full-blown parties that ended with students running before the teachers had arrived because of the noise. For getting along with V and worst of all, for talking V up to Jimin. ′/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I wasn't aware that parties were happening behind closed doors until Jimin assured me they were mostly rooms people went to in order to socialize and use illegal stuff. And not a party for normal students who didn't know anybody./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I thought of it as broken people gravitating around other broken people who knew more broken people. I did doubt some stuff Jungkook told Jimin, but I didn't doubt this bit of information for one second./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"When Bambi told me that Jungkook went to those parties with V, I didn't cease my jogging session until both knees gave out. By then, I was too far away from the campus. And far away from the teachers or students who would call the police on me for smashing V's face into the wall repeatedly./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"But as I lay on the grass, hands outreached on both sides and looking up at the grey skies, I couldn't shake the feeling there was only a matter of time until V made a move and Jungkook would say yes. Or he already made a move and didn't tell Jimin about it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"This is why, no matter how numb I was feeling, I continued to push every single emotion back down as soon as it surfaced. Only to find that it was still there, in the back of my mind, going: Tick-tock, tick-tock./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I got ourselves some beers and…coffee." Jimin let me know./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"He pointed at the six-pack and the vending machine iced coffee beside style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"That's an odd combination. But whatever floats your boat."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I sat on the floor of our room and ripped out one of the beers. Guzzled it down without caring when my body protested. Without caring when some spilled from the sides of my lips. Or when there was nothing left inside it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Why can't they make 2 liters beer bottles?" I questioned with frustration./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I think they do…"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I'll just have another."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Go ahead."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /Drank this one slower, but both eyebrows went up when Jimin started drinking too. And we kept drinking and talking about what happened with him while I was gone. And what happened to me while I was gone since our different schedules only seemed to fit reports about Jungkook and not much else style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"He doesn't snore... he breathes fire!"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /Jimin chuckled, slapping his leg at the way I described Malek's snoring./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""He's a good guy…"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I put a hand up before I started defending style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I'm not saying he's not a good guy, but he will die before he reaches thirty from all that ramen. I can respect a frugal and convenient lifestyle more than the average Joe, but…how doesn't he get sick of it?" I winced at the thought of eating packaged ramen one more style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Didn't he ask you the same thing?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Hey, today's packaged chicken breasts have so many different types of seasoning, all right? And I don't plan on eating it forever. I'm consciously choosing it. But he's just…avoiding making any culinary decision, ever?! Maybe? He just said it tastes good. And I went: oh, yeah, that explains the fifty packs from your closet."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I threw my hands up in the air, but Bambi didn't smile this style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I was talking about the beer…and the rest of the bottles of whiskey and rum? Or vodka?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"You named two different things, right?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Three?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I drunkenly swayed and waved his worry away by blaming on my faulty mental faculties./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""That's more variety than the one chicken noodle ramen pack. Isn't it? So why would he judge me? I didn't judge him…at first…"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""You clearly did!" He chuckled and took a sip of beer./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Not at first! And not until I was too tired to go to the store and decided to have what he was having. But all he had was ramen. Every Single Damn day!"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"You're still judging him."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"He was judging me so I judged him back. I think it was only fair at that point…"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Well…that was an uneventful move, wasn't it?" He style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Uneventful? How dare you? Falling on top of a sleeping Malek isn't something that should be immortalized forever?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I guess." He shrugged and continued, amusement fading, "But I am surprised you remember it at all, considering…" He pointed at the beer I was holding with his own beer./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Bambi, will you drop it already? I'm fine. I can hold my liquor."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Oh, I believe that. But if you keep drinking that doesn't mean you're immune. It just makes you feel like being drunk is your default mode." He nodded to himself, smacking his style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"You drink too." I pointed at his beer with my style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Yeah. Once a week. Like any responsible student."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"He finished with a boasting grin. And I pointed at the door lazily, saying:br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Go get your golden star. It's outside. I swear."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /Then leaned back against the desk's drawers. Gulping down the remains of the second style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /He suddenly furrowed both brows and asked:/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Aren't you drunk already?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"After two beers?" I inquired with surprise, arching an style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I'm buzzed after one. How do you do it?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"You go past that. And you keep going until…"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Until?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"You can't drink anymore."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"And when's that?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Pondered and concluded to him and myself:br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"When you're asleep,"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Huh. You don't sound like you have a problem at all."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Right? I don't. You're just a bad drinker."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"You're right. It's my problem…clearly…"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"He smiled nervously as I handed him a second beer and urged him to drink it like a style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Don't stop to think."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"My head hurts..."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Have another. You'll forget."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I'll throw up!"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Sure. But you'll forget."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"What?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /'Everything.' I thought./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""You said you'll drink with me today, Bambi. But you might've as well been sipping tea," I complained, style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"And I told you to stop calling me Bambi!"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I will, if you finish this beer…"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /He looked at the opened can and then back up at me with newfound urgency./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""You swear?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /He took a sip./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""If you finish it all in less than ten seconds. Ten, nine…"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Who adds rules after…"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Eight, seven…"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /And he attempted the impossible. With his Adam's apple going up and down wildly. Cheeks getting redder in a matter of seconds./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Five, four, three, two…"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /And he slammed the bottom of the can to the floor. Gag reflex having won over willpower./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I patted his back with a proud smirk when he started wheezing./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""You tried your best Bambi. That's all that matters."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I told you not to call me that." He style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I snatched the beer from his hand and shook it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""You didn't finish it so you can't tell me what to call you."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I think." A hiccup was followed by "I'll die."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Bambi's can't die. They might get shot, but they'll magically survive." I deadpanned and then finished the liquid he couldn't get down./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Jimin's eyes got unfocused just like that. Movements started looking uncoordinated./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I almost expected him to remind me what his name was again, but instead, he was tapping the floor occasionally. Glaring at the beer cans like they were mocking him and I just couldn't hear them because of some sort of magical barrier./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""What? I'll go buy more if you want to try again."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"No. I don't want to drink anymore, Namjoon."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /He turned quiet and then looked away./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I sighed and ran a hand through my hair./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""You feel like throwing up?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Surprisingly, not really."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Want some water?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Namjoon. Why do you call me Bambi all the time?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Mm…you remind me of it?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I remind you of a deer?" He enunciated the words as if he was speaking another style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Got a problem with that?" I curtly bit style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"No. No…Not a real problem." Both hands went up in style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Good." I stated style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I reached out for another beer, but he grabbed the beer before I got to it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I arched a brow when he kept going: "What's your opinion on Bambi exactly?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"He's cute. Innocent. Misfortunate. And a fucking deer. Now, are you really about to drink that even if you look like you're about to self-combust?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"No. You can have it." He handed it over and then sat on his knees before me. Watching me with utmost seriousness./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""It's not that deep, Jimin."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I know."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Good."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I had a few sips and then almost got up when a hand touched my chest./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I have to tell you something."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /He was too close. Far too close if I could smell the beer on his breath./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I'm listening…"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""But you have to promise you won't get mad."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I won't."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Or drink more. Although I don't believe that's humanly possible," He said mostly to himself as he eyed the numerous empty bottles that decorated our dorm style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Agreed?" I asked, feeling suspicious./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"He went on: "Or do anything stupid. Ok?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Ahem."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I always kept my word towards you. You have to keep your word too."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I put the beer down./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""What's this about?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Pinky promise?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"It's starting to sound kind of serious. So, I'm sorry, but I'd rather keep my 'getting mad' privileges."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"The air quotes did not make my frown appear more style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Then I am not telling you." He crossed his arms style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Yes, you are." I breathed out with style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /He tilted his head to the side, puzzled./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I am?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Yes, you are. Right now."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Promise first." He showed me his pinkie and I just covered it with my whole style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I'm not promising shit." I sternly stated and then allowed my voice to get louder after every word I barked: "Tell me what the fuck…!"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"No. This was a bad idea. Forget I said anything."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Jimin…" I style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"No. Just forget it. I'm going to the bathroom."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /He got up and took one step towards the door. And I swiped one leg under the unmoving leg, only to calmly watch him fall on his knees and hands./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""OUCH! That hurt. Why did you do that?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Tell me." I grabbed his ankle and slid him towards me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I said I'm not telling you!"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I have no patience lately, Jimin. So, just tell me."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /He was face down at my left, right under my arm so I grabbed his shirt and pulled him up close enough to catch his neck and have him look straight at me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"He was making a whining sound that he always did when he was very uncomfortable./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I didn't squeeze./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I'm just keeping you still," I informed him after taking a deep breath to still the dizziness from the alcohol. "Now tell me."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I said no."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Jimin!" I warned for the second style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"What? Are you going to force it out of me?!" He style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I took another deep breath and let go of him./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""No. You're free. Go do whatever the fuck you want. But don't tell me you need to tell me something and then not tell it to me ever again. Frankly, I think anyone would be annoyed by that."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Ok."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /And that was the end of it. I grabbed the half-spilled beer, got up, and walked out. Finished it on the way out of the building./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I felt a slither of self-respect for holding back. But the more I walked in the crisp air, the more I felt like not knowing what he was about to say was going to make me lose what was left of my sanity./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"By the time I reached the only store on campus, I realized that I forgot to take my wallet. And was about to go back when I heard the voice that's been haunting every waking and sleeping moment saying to the cashier: "Marlboro 7, with menthol."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Let me check if we're out or not."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /Someone with a hoodie came up to Jungkook and rested their arms around his shoulders./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Red. The world is red again.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Hence, I looked away and squatted down behind the chips. Dug dull nails into my own fists until the pain was distracting enough. The slight, almost nonexistent bodily pain was incomparable to the one in my chest./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Anyone who saw this predicament would probably think that I'm either avoiding them or that I'm at least eavesdropping./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"But I was doing neither./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I was hiding them from myself./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Telling myself that I could stay in control if I didn't see his face. That it was better. That it was what he wanted. That he was happier. But then I heard:br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Do you feel better?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Of course.".br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Really? You look like you're about to faint."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Nah. I liked it."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /'And that's, if I know anything about Jungkook at all, a motherfucking lie.' I thought with disappointment./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I pulled my hoodie over my eyes. And followed them when they were out of the cramped store. Trailed them when they went into a building that wasn't Jungkook's. Followed them down the narrow, crowded hallway. And watched them both go inside dorm room 112./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And then I stood still./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Waiting./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And kept waiting./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"People passed by. And the numbness took over once more. As if the second Jungkook was gone, so were all of my emotions./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Yet a part of me kept waiting./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Half an hour must've passed./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And I've obtained some kind of answer to a question I didn't dare ask myself when two more guys went into dorm room 112./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I felt some sort of relief./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'But the guy Bambi got fucked by was finished in 15 min.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes at the thought before I turned around and opened my eyes just in time to catch V's ugly mug staring back at me with the sickest grin his face was capable of./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""What's up?" He inquired. Hands in his pockets just like me. Hoodie up, just like me. Eyes red, unlike mine./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Nothing's up."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Really? Cause it seems like you're spying on your ex." He leaned in as if that fact permitted him to do style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"He's not my ex." I spat the words in his style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Aw, that's the cute story you like to tell yourself?" He mocked in a baby voice./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I closed my eyes and demanded, in a lower voice than I wanted to:br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Move aside."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"And if I don't?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I'll move you."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I don't think you want to do that."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I don't think I want to do anything else."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I sidestepped mainly because I wasn't willing to let Jungkook know I was there without having another good reason, but V had me dead in my tracks one step style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"You wouldn't like to go into the room Jungkook just went in? Hmm? Really? But I can get you in. And I'll throw in a present and tell them that you're a friend from school too."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I turned to look at him to make sure I didn't hallucinate what I've just style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"What the fuck are you…"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"An orphan. But a friend nonetheless." He tilted his head and then went on, "And Jungkook will be so startled to see you, he won't be able to say a thing." The eyes were smiling too, and if a pinned dropped, my mind couldn't have been more silent as it kept listening to him casually spouting nonsense: "And you'll make new friends, assuming you'll play the nice card you play to fool people to stay by your side. Not only that! You'll make Jungkook's new friends, your friends. And the two of you will probably live happily ever after and all that shit that orphans never get to do."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"He moved his eyebrows up and down, boxy smile getting I peeked to the side, at the wall, and then back at him, burying the fists from inside the pockets style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Is this how you plan on killing me? Get me in a room with a bunch of guys using Jungkook as bait?" Was my best guess to his style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Would you risk it?" He closed the distance between us again. "What's it going to be Monster, your life or Jungkook?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I'd rather take your life," I responded without missing a style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"You don't have anything left to lose. Do you?" Hands outstretched on each side; "Do you?" He shook his head and mouthed a 'no' before I've said a word. The same dumb smile remained plastered on his stupid style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"…"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I'll introduce you as my friend if you come now. But! If you go in after the door is shut, then I'll introduce you as Jungkook's rapist. Your choice." He shrugged and quickly added: "And no second chances."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /He patted me on the shoulder and headed towards the door. And I watched him touch the handle, swiveling his head to ask:/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""What will it be?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /That boxy, unnatural smile wasn't making me see red for once. It was confusing. Like the color green. Gross, but weirdly calming as well./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"The students that were walking by, talking. The rap music coming from a room nearby. The relentless stepping of someone exercising or dancing on the second floor./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And all I could hear was: Tick-tock, tick-tock!/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Door 112 was being opened by Kim Taehyung./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And time was running out./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"In slow motion./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Tick-tock./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I watched a hand that could've been none other than Jungkook's reaching out through the crack for the jelly's that V just got out of his pocket as if he knew that'll draw Jungkook out./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I couldn't see his face. And he couldn't see mine./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"But I could've recognized that hand out of one hundred hands./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Tick./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And V took a step in./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Tock./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Kill me then.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I was the one who followed V so closely that I could've pretty much back hugged him if I wanted to./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"The one who Jungkook stared at with two bloodshot, doe-like eyes right before his gaze landed on me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And time started flowing normally again. As if my life until now has been slow-motion torture until I could breathe steadily next to Jungkook's unsteady breathing./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""V, what the shits? Who's the tall guy?" Someone shouted from the bed that was on my far style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"My friend."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Taehyung responded swiftly, sitting down and crossing his legs on one of the pillows that were scattered on the floor. And then accepted a cigarette from the closest one of the three./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Jungkook was standing before me. Still, as a statue. The unopened jelly bag hung from his fingers./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Forgotten./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Kook, do you know him?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"They were classmates." V casually replied instead and then shoot me an irritated expression./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Hence, I sidestepped Jungkook and sat down next to V./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Hi, I'm Kim Namjoon."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Dwayne, another Kim! And he's introducing himself as a Kim!" A black guy rolling a joint accused a chubby Korean guy who was looking down at his phone on the same style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Good for him! Fucking common ass name. They should invent new ones soon." He looked up and added:" No disrespect."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"None taken." I shrugged./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Then all three of you went to the same school?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /And the face of the guy with the hoodie from the store was right in front of me. Sat down, legs outstretched, eyes just as red as Jungkook's./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'I will slice you open like a fish.' I thought./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Yeah. All three of us."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Kook, you didn't tell me a thing about him."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /But Jungkook didn't respond. And I was too busy remembering every mole and line on the guy's long face to pay Jungkook's unmoving frail silhouette any mind./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""So, you want some or what?" The black guy inquired./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And I nodded without thinking./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'I want to burn his eyes while they're still inside his head.'br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"He's Kim…ahem." V chuckled when said guy shoot him an evil eye, and V rectified his intentional mistake, "Dwayne."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Shit face." Dwayne also introduced V./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""That's Martin."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"The best man you'll ever meet." The black guy raised his chin at me for one second before dropping it, and I did the style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"And this is Jay."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Nice to meet you," I said those words and shook his hand because he offered it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Cut his hand off and beat him with it.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Kook, come sit if you want to roll."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /And those were the magic words./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Jungkook walked up to Jay, a short haired Korean guy. Who's Korean name was probably Jae. Long and skinny. Wearing baggy clothes. There was a similarity in our styles. None in the face. And yet…/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"He sat down beside him with both legs tucked under him. Staring down at the jelly bag from inside two open palms as if he was praying to it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""You ain't going to eat that?" Jay asked him before taking it away./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Jungkook didn't react. He simply kept staring down as if it was still there./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I clenched and unclenched my fists./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"The bag got opened at least. Jay threw a few in his mouth and then put the bag back into Jungkook's open hands before he supported himself in the palm of his hands again. Leaning back comfortably./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Hey, Martin. I think he's having some breakdown from that shit again."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"What shit?" I asked, a bit too style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Just some love and some coke." Jay's socked foot started moving up and down before me as he went on, "Nothing big. Done any of it?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Oh, I've done everything."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Don't believe you man," Jay said so, but started giggling after Martin did too./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Jungkook howeve,r didn't have any trouble believing which I assumed was why he looked up and straight at me, intently. Looking twice more surprised than before./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Yo! Martin. He said he's done everything!" Jay seemed to want to make Martin do more than laugh at style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Who sold you LSD man? I'd love to know that fucking Jesus sent mofo. They be hiding from me for two years now." Martin took it as a chance to make a new connection. His voice was slow and steady. His eyes were quick, and his fingers quicker. Lighting up, inhaling some, and passing it on to Dwayne in short, practiced steps./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""I sold myself LSD."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I felt V watching me just as intently as Jungkook now./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""No way! V! You got us a dealer friend?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /Dwayne looked up from his phone at last./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Ex-dealer." I enunciated. "Quit before I'd left."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Such a shame." Martin breathed out, lightly slapping himself in the face to show his disappointment./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Dwayne leaned forwards and passed the joint to Jay./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Do you think you can get us some if we visit you where you used to sell?" Martin wanted to style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"It will be my treat." I lied with a smile./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""You're still on good terms with your turf?" The first question Dwayne's asked. And he didn't break eye contact until I style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"I'd say so."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"They don't want to kill you or nothing?" Jay inquired next, mouth and eyes wide, taking another long hit before passing it to Jungkook./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"From his lips to Jungkook's lips./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Red. Green. Red. Green.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Not yet. Maybe in a few years." I style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Shit. You're joking, right?" Jay sounded serious for once only to wrap it up with a chuckle and a cough./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Yeah…joking." I mocked./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And V took over the newfound silence and the joint from Jungkook's hands./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""He'll be fine. I'll keep him safe." He suddenly confessed this bit of endearing information to them and me. It took everything in me not to act shocked or to outright ridicule his newfound love for style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Man, did you know this guy's dad a cop?" Martin pointed at V from the bed with one long, skinny hand./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""He's told me." The darkness of that statement didn't slip out, but then it dawned on me that V didn't light up the dead joint. I looked down and it was in front of me. The same size it was when Jungkook passed it on, next to a tiny violet lighter./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'He didn't want to kiss Jungkook indirectly…but why?'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Thanks." I heard myself saying before lighting it up as if I've done it a million times. In front of the guys who had probably done it a million times and one. Jungkook would've probably seemed suspicious if they weren't all busy peeking underneath full, distrustful eyelashes./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Through the leftover dizziness of the beer, I sucked in. And the cough that wanted to come up, I forced it down with so much power that it ran away like a scared animal. I took another puff. Laughed at V's bad joke. And then passed it on to him./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And when the joint made the rounds again and my vision got compromised, I reached forwards and took a jelly out of Jungkook's colorful jelly bag./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"The rest were busy talking about some party Dwayne's found out about from a friend he's been texting./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"But V was watching me turn the jelly bean on all sides./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And when Jay stared directly at me, I swallowed it. The sweetness was so good and so bad for me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"The more I smoked; the newfound drowsiness helped me remain calm. The haziness of the room made Jay's face seem like it was from another planet. And everyone started to move slower. So slow that it seemed that I've been here forever and I'll be here until I'll die from the black hole in my chest./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Nam, do you want to go to the party?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"V asked, passing me the style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"What party?" I asked and that earned me a lot of high, ecstatic laughs./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"I smiled too. Wondering: 'What did I say? I forgot.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""What was the last time you've smoked?" Jay inquired, all smug./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Been a while," I disclosed without meaning to./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""So, you didn't hear anything we're been…"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"V cut Jay style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"We're going to a party tomorrow. Wanna come?"br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /I inhaled deeper than before. With more intent than before. Feeling the smoke filling the wound. For just a moment before I exhaled it out./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And let out an uncaring "Fine."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""Cool." Martin got off the bed. I didn't know why, but he halted mid-step, awkwardly, when I outstretched the joint towards a mute Jungkook./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Our eyes met and all the pain seemed to spill out of them./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"And the tears fell from the black hole right into Jungkook's eyes to wet them./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"V snatched the joint and lighter from my hand in a hurry and passed it off to Martin./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"Then Jay leaned forwards to pat me on the knee, and with a grin, whispered: "Come tomorrow. It'll be fun."br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"Fun," I repeated, looking at the hand that had just touched me and then at Jungkook who was still avoiding me even though we were in the same room. Two steps away from each other./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Fun.' I thought./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'It'll be 'fun.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'It's all for 'fun'./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'My love is having 'fun' with you guys.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Cause my love is not having 'fun' with me.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'You're having 'fun' with my only love.'br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /'And I want to have 'fun' too somehow.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'But I don't think I can have 'fun' anymore.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Thinking of it, when was the last time I've had any 'fun?'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'I can't seem to remember…'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'I can't remember one specific damn time!'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'But maybe there's nothing to remember.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'There's only this fucking pain that won't give me any break...'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'And I deserve it.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'I deserve pain.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'I don't deserve 'fun'.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Or do I Jungkook? Do you want me to have 'fun'?'br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /'Cause the last time I had fun was when I was with you.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'I don't know when or why.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'But I think I had 'fun' with you.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'And now I am wondering if you had 'fun' too.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Cause maybe then you can remind me when I also had 'fun'.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'If you remember it. But I doubt you remember anything besides the bad stuff.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Don't you? Cause I do too.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'I only remember the bad.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'I seem to vomit out the good.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Cause the good hurts my stomach.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Which makes no sense.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'And yet I feel it.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Somewhere in the middle of the chest.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Ripping me to shreds like a fucking rabid animal.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'And I wish it'd do it faster.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Tear me open, Jungkook.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Now. Not later.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Do it now.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'Kill me.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'So, I can die happy.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'So, I can feel happiness'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'The only type of happiness I can feel.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;"'The …painful kind.'/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 22px; font-family: Georgia, Cambria, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; color: #000f22; background-color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important; line-height: 1.4em !important;""But yeah, fun…" I style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"What's he mumbling by himself?" Jay asked a smoking style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4em !important; margin: 0px 0px 27px !important;" /"He said he's having fun."/p